Congress Forgets How To Pass A Law
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ก.ย. 2024
- After years of gridlock, Democrats and Republicans have realized no one remembers how to actually enact legislation.
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Somehow the least believable part of this clip isn’t the fact that Congress forgot to pass a bill, but that the parties both agree on something.
After the 9-11 responders kerfuffle...yeah.
Oh, wait, did I say "after"? I naively thought it had been resolved, but no, here's Rand Paul to screw it all up. Kentucky, you're single-handedly screwing up the Senate at the moment.
Well it's a nonpartisan issue, so it isn't really that unbelievable when you think about it.
roguishpaladin Generally speaking, the government’s inability to pass any laws is a good thing.
Bailey Harrison Lol, how? So he US remains outdated?
Have they tried turning it off and on again?
They shut down the government every so often
They just tried that, to no avail
Ask one of their kids to do it, they probably know how to do it
Thats what they're doing now
Rishi Chava did it work?
"Does anyone know where the library is?" This is funnier when your realized that the Library of Congress is visible from the capital building lol
It's literally across the street too
They're even connected by a tunnel lmao
capitol*
The equivalent of congressional investigating big tech but dont know how internet works
@@insertchannelnamehere8685 Can confirm, went there last month. Literally on the same hallway as the Chambers of the House of Representatives. You just come out of those big double doors and turn right and there that tunnel is.
One of the greatest parts of this video is that the Library of Congress is literally across the street from the capitol building.
Where’s the entrance to the capitol building? We’ve been stuck in here for 7 months because every time we try to get out another republican senator stands up and reads green eggs and ham
@@B0ssguy xD
@@B0ssguy TED CRUUUUUUZ!
@@B0ssguy, I thought it was green fish blue fish? I must be so crazy at this point that I can’t even...
@@ChaseMcCain81 Yeah, especially considering that book is "One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish". You might be colorblind.
“Biden admits he expected to be president by now”
Despite its age even the scrolling news remains topical to this day
Onion News influencing voters to ensure their news is always fresh.
You mean despite Biden’s age? Lol
Yo mountain giant
@@matthew8153 It's funny, if Biden wins we'll have the oldest president beginning their first term since... Well, since Trump, the current record holder.
If Trump wins he'll set another record, being the oldest president to begin his second term.
No matter who wins the president will be record-breakingly old.
Don’t forget “Breaking: US Postal Service shut down six weeks ago”
“And remember Jane, eyeliner can work wonders...”
The look on Jane’s face after that is hilarious lol.
That line was savage 🤣
😂😂😂
Normal people also tags the time where it says. Wtf is wrong with u?
@@gregorgerzson1767 2:39 here you go 🙄
@@gregorgerzson1767 Normal people don’t cry about no time stamp when they’re gonna watch the entire video anyway.
Someone needs to give the onion this much funding again
Maybe Mr beast🤣
It's too late. Reality has surpassed satire
The writers for this era of the onion moved on. They started a new thing called Clickhole
They would, but they forgot how to pass such funding.
@@HunterShows It has been 13 years in fairness. But I'm pretty sure it involves a gavel.
I don't care what _anyone_ says, America has the best Congress that money can buy.
Starla Anne Definitely stealing that one.
LunaticThinker
Yes, all of us lunatics like that one ;)
+Starla Anne lol no we dont
Up top.
Kek
Now I'm imagining a bunch of Congressmen looking up the "I'm Just a Bill" Schoolhouse Rock video here on TH-cam for hints.
@Bosingr and I'm sitting here on capitol hill🎵🎶🎵
it’s funny they just think he has money and completely rip him off, no one would do charity with people like that
_My childhood_
Adam Hoffman I am your 2,400th like
I love that song
“Study: Marijuana use down among those using crystal meth”
This is also true.
The story behind that one is that crystal meth is a lower schedule drug than weed, lmao
Lmao
"New drug to make heart attacks 60% more enjoyable."
"Biden expected to be President by now" lolll
"the bill has unanimous support of both republicans and democrats" that is the most absurd part of this video
Nah that is the second most absurd. The first is that the statue would only cost $50000.
to be literally fair i think its insanely unanimous for both parties that the Challenger disaster was a disaster and lives were sadly lost during the incident (RIP to all Astronauts), so I can get why Democrats and Republicans wanted a memorial
@Edward Lim maybe at the time of the video. Now if one side proposes the other will call them facists and refuse to agree or at best use it as a way to pass Patriot Act 2.0, looking at you the Restrict Act.
Both parties do often agree on passing laws that benefit their corporate masters and furthering the surveillance state.
It happens from time to time. Mostly when it's about war: the US House and Senate voted unanimously to launch the Afghanistan/Irak war "on terrorism" and also to send military support to Ukraine.
Don't ask them to agree on anything else.
this is the best channel for political jokes that are funny like 9 years later
And sometimes (depressingly) even funnier.
Bruh took me a minute to get it was a joke
Yup, one of the short news passing on the bottom of the screen says something along the lines "Biden confeses that he expected to be president already"
Better than SNL for sure
No, you just started paying attention to politics 9 years later, but the jokes have been funny all along.
This is not even satire now lol
13 European Union MPs voted wrong accidentally recently...
Fishman 02 they didn't they're using it as an excuse because they voted for Article 13
Thats a good thing
@@Haseo92 what
no more laws people
Honestly, this depiction of Congress is actually kind of cute and endearing. They don't know what they're doing, but bless 'em, they're trying... As opposed to, "Okay, fine, we can put the fire out, but what's in it for me?"
"Okay, fine, we can put the fire out but first I need to blame the other party and second what's in it for me?'
I liked the one congressman saying "I have a question"
Reminded me of being in school with my hand in the air going "Teacher! Teacher!"
Minneapolis is apparently on fire, so they can't do that either.
Like a group of elderly people with dementia or Alzheimers.
Absolutely silly fact, somewhere in Europe, I forget where, some nursing homes put false bus stops right outside the nursing home for the Alzheimers patients. When they're having an episode and try to leave, many will sit at the bus stop like they would take in their youth, making it easier for the workers to gently bring them back inside. Thought that was an awesome way to handle things and would be cool if we had that here in America.
@@thotslayer9914 Yeah, but a girl can dream, can't she? :)
As an Iowan myself I personally love the amount of coverage we get from the onion. It’s nice to see that at least one major news network cares about us.
Same, unfortunately it’s all pretty accurate too 😅
Same, the Iowa weather cam part had me cracking up 🤣
Pretty light this year but yeah haha, hi neighbors!
They were cancelled like 12 years ago
It’s amazing how they get this footage!
You are everywhere
@@walnut9472 EXACTLY lol...
@@AJRacing yeah ,I saw him in every video recommended to me.😂
Just watch C-Span
@@walnut9472 I am seeing you comment on every onion video ,I watch 😆
"...and remember Jane, eyeliner can work wonders."
*bruh* 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
She did her dirty on that one 💀💀
On the subtitles, it's "...and remember Jane, Islander can work wonders."! ;)
To be fair she's right, the ONN newswoman is an absolute smokeshow, with great eyeliner.
@@Tricia_K I gotta agree with those subtitles, the Islanders fisherman improves any look
Gotta admit, that jab even caught me off guard.
"and remember jane, eyeliner can work wonders"...-_- XDXD
i didnt get it
+Tamir Oulu I hope you're good at sports
I didn't get it neither...
@@igor-yp1xv she's saying she's ugly without her make up.
Savage
2:08 "Peruvian Scientists: Endangered bird acting like a big shot."
I spit out my water
Endangered bird is a [[BIG SHOT?!]]
GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY [BEAUTIFUL HEAD]
@@legendgames128kromer
[HYPERLINK BLOCKED]
i caught that too lmao, love to see it
“New drugs to make heart attacks 60% more enjoyable” LOL I love the little scrolling texts
I mean if you are going to have a heart attack you might as well enjoy it while it lasts
Wait does that mean that heart attacks are already enjoyable to a certain degree?
@@airplanes_aren.t_real Yeah... You enjoy watching death-chan come for your soul!
@@amitasrivastava493 "death chan" had me dead. Lmfaoooo
@@airplanes_aren.t_real They are, yes. The fear of actually dying dampens the experience a lot, but the actual feeling itself is... not THAT bad.
Fox News? Nah. CNN? Nope.
I watch the Onion.
TheMilitantHorse lol
Why not? It's probably more reliable anyway 😂😂
It's sad the fact they reality isn't so far from sarcasm and parody.
When real news are becomming a joke, parody news have to become akkurate in order to be funny
The Onion > CNN
She didn't have to do Jane like that.
Jane deserved it
Jane:
-_-
well if jane would flush the goddamn toilet after he monstrous shits everyone in the office wouldnt hate her
@@Madmatt18 I second that!
Fevos Man more like 0-0
This was a prophecy
even the weather gag at the end is relevant
"We probably have to glue it into a book, where all the other laws are."
Legit we have no snow in Iowa this year
@@tristanprebil8876 wtf
@@stalin9192 eyyyyy Stalin
Seems legit
4 upfpyyo9yqrooriq95iri92esr
"Biden admits he expected to be president by now"
I had something for this.
This hasn't aged well
@@embs5803 I think you mean it's aged *perfectly*
Biden is so dull, just Obama 2.0...
I mean, still better than Trump I guess but cmon, can we get an actual, passionate, motivated leader for once?
@@theyoshi202 luckily, the two right below Biden in the polls are brewing with passion. Hopefully one of them passes him up!
"I don't work there anymore and I'm not about to do charity work."
LMAO!!!!
You just repeated a line from the video and wrote “lmao” in all caps.
@@arandomzoomer4837 rofl
JonatasAdoM
I’ve never heard anyone use that phrase in years.
@@arandomzoomer4837 I see it quite often.
JonatasAdoM
Okay, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that there is no humor to your comment.
Every school group project in a nutshell
'Bhutan eager to begin dialogue with any country at all'
"I move that we find this library of congress, does anybody know?"
"No"
"I have no idea"
"DANG IT"
Comedy Gold
That was i about to say. They should ask the secret service where it is or president or supreme court. Wow everyone there completely blackout how to run the government.
@@airplane312 wait.....what’s the presidents address email though.....shoot....
The best part is how it’s literally across the street from them
"DAMN IT"* There! FTFY 😑
@@maazkalim The subtitles are incorrect
Plot twist: Congress can't agree on where to buy the gavel, what kind of gavel to buy, or even if they should also purchase a backup gavel. They decide to vote on it, but, as before, they don't remember how, so Congress is stuck in an infinite loop.
After they somehow decided all of that, they are in a deadlock from trying to decide how the gavel will be purchased and where they will.allocate the funding for it, which requires a bill which requires a gavel.
Congress can't remember how to hold a meeting, and who's in it
Thats deep
Congress forgets who other members are
Major sticking point; Republicans want to purchase the gavel, while Democrats expect that someone should just give it to them!
“We email it to the president, correct?”
“ I don’t know”
The founding fathers (boys, actually) didn't have email. What did they do?
@@AaronMcDaidcarrier pigeons? Probably badass like the owls in harry potter, they smash through your window and boom, the email 😂
2:30 "Biden admits he expected to be president by now"
These videos consistently predict the future
HMM
Craaaaazy
This all happened, including the part Biden officially becoming the president, while the senate house was terrorized by protesters
@@OrbitOnceAround ok now this is epic. I mean, do you remember when they made a skit saying they had a time warp satellite to get info from the future? Satire has now become reality.
and now he is :)
The Onion has become the only news source that I can trust will never give accurate information. With the other you never know if it's true or false.
Roach DoggJR there’s only one true answer to the ONN
@@weekbacan682 that hardly seems fair. their coverage of non political-non war related news or opinion peices is actually quite fair and true.
i mean they are my go-to guys for the weather. and thats about it
I almost watch onion daily
ONN is considered satire until several years later, when it somehow becomes true.
@@lil0of they should put an expiration date of the satirical value of their videos
"Funny until 2016" or something like that
That “Biden expected to be president by now” hits hard in 2020
Hits harder in November
@@helgil6545 Hits harder in December
doesn’t hit so hard in August 2021 😢
@Ig-nat-ius please tell them I didn't mean anything I was just trolling and it might've gotten out of hand
*_it fuckin hits harder now lmao_*
This is what happens when the key person at work leaves.
"Breaking: U.S. Postal Service shut down six weeks ago"
"Biden admits he expected to be president by now"
This video aged incredibly well.
Holy shit even more now
@@taciprince7400 And even more now that Biden is the president.
That's the trick, there's still legal crap to get through. Media says he is, government doesn't agree yet.
@@chance9512 cope harder
@@joshellsworth355 coping or not they're still technically correct. And if they are at least they don't have to fabricate a Russian disinformation campaign and put the fbi on a wild goose chase to cope.
"Uhh mister chairman, I have a question"
"..."
"Uhh... I think... don't you have to tell me when to talk?"
"Oh, right, you can uhh.. have the floor"
Best part!
"Wait, isn't there are library of congress?
-Yeah, yeah..?"
2:31 "Biden admits he expected to be president by now" What a prediction
A vice president wanting to be president is such an incredibly obvious premise, probably for literal centuries.
A Vice-president becoming president isn't that hard of a prediction
Last line: "Eye liners works wonders."
So cool.
Janet Craft No. The last line is "Looks like there's a lot of snow there. We'll be right back".
I didn't even catch that the first watch.
Yeah
@@MegaBallPowerBall No. That's *2* lines.
You started it.
Wasn't expecting that line lmao
FINALLY, a news network has shown us exactly what is going on in Congress. Thank you so much ONN! You are the most credible news network in the entire world :D
If they actually would forget how to pass a law, that would be an improvement.
"snowlocaust" lmao
I just noticed that!
Snowlomodor next?
Best part of the video somehow
2:30 "Biden expected to be President by now"
Well that certainly aged hilariously
💀
'the book of laws must be in the library of congress'
It feels like a cartoon show quest.
Dora: do you see the book of laws? That's right, the library!
Dora: Do you see the library?... No?... Darn it!
Basically the plot of National Treasure 2.
congress: donde esta la biblioteca?
dora: muy bueno!
congress: ahhh yes finally got the gavel we needed!!! (swiper swipes the gavel from congresses hands)
congress: awwwwww!
The Iowa weather cam joke at the very end is heavily underrated
The Snowlocaust.
Snowlocaust
Would’ve been better if it was Minnesota
The coordinates they listed for the weather cam are for the Iowa City Municipal Airport in Iowa.
"Bhutan eager to begin dialogue with any country at all"
read the subtexts, im in tears lololol
1:55 “Study: Marijuana use down among those using crystal meth.” Smdh.
Onion’s lower thirds are the best part. The headline is as true today as it was then.
@Hungry Hungry Hippo india is a corrupt shirhole.
The fact that I couldn't tell this video was 12 years old without looking is telling.
I'm dying at the headline "New drug to make heart attacks 60% more enjoyable"
Maybe they should just reupload this one with the recent dates.
s0nnyburnett And again.
Jesus this gets more relevant with each passing year.
1:51 "Breaking News: U.S. Postal Service shut down six weeks ago." I'm dead.
Why does that suddenly seem relavent.
this isn’t funny anymore :/
@@robk7266 maybe look at the time it was posted?
"You can have the floor."
"Oh, for real? Thanks a bunch."
*Picks up floor and leaves.*
They tried to tackle important issues but quickly got distracted by disparaging political rivals online and obsessing over their own follower counts.
That's it, it is now impossible for a human being to distinguish between satire and reality in 2021.
What?
@@matthewjones39Back in 2009 (when this video was made), the idea of humans screaming at people who disagree with them and obsessing over being influencers instead of focusing on important issues such as climate change was satire. Now in 2023, it’s reality!
@@ladyalicent705we up
just letting you know from the Future that it has gotten better and we live in a utopia now
"Don't we glue it into the book where all the other laws are?" Oh god... XD
Well it sort of works like that in roman law countries...
Nubia Anima yeah, here it works that way, how it works there? in your country you don't have multiple books with all the laws?
Stellra52 3
That makes sense
I swear I heard someone laughing at that point.
2:30 "Biden admits he expected to be president by now"
Biden: " *It's been a long 8 years...* "
More like 32. That's what happens when you plagiarise.
Biden always predicts the future. Guess Biden will be president soon.
@@siyacer I doubt it, but we will see
@@dude3278 we saw
Well this aged really well
1:00 “He told them, I don’t work there, and I’m not about to do charity work” 💯
I can't believe this was 13 years ago, it's literally the House right now
“Biden admits that he expected to be president by now.”
The Video is nine years old but still up to date.
@@conorstapleton3183 or maybe america is outdated lmao
Fuck off
At 2:00 .....Phil Collins releases 'Worst of Phil Collins' double album.
Hahahaha
Best part
Bruh
How the hell is this still extremely relevant
Same people in Congress mostly.
Wait, where's the joke. This is just an average day in congress 😂
Why don't they just sing the bill song?
"I'm just a bill
Oh I'm only a bill
And I'm sittin' here on Capitol Hill"
Fuck, that's all I remember.
lmao i only got to
"I'm just a bill
Oh I'm only a bill"
Didn’t even realize this was 13 years ago, it’s timeless
Onion > CNN
Onion > NBC
Onion > CBC
Onion > SNL
Onion = Ogres
Prison Mike Onion > Fox, let’s not be biased here
@@MIKERJ999 I think he just forgot it, the point is still the same that MSM sucks.
Onion > SNL
You can't just...
F*** it, you're right.
@@jonasseorum5471 nah kinda just sounds like he specifically mentioned every liberal news channel
@@eyalgreen8285 Nonsense, he just named all the *news* networks.
If anything ages better than wine its these skits
The Onion News went out of business because real politics became more absurd than their satires.
How do you satire satire?
"Isn't there a Library of Congress?"
"Yeah."
"The book with all the laws must be in the Library of Congress!!!"
"I move that we find out where this library is!"
The part about "new drug to make heart attacks 60% more enjoyable" made me burst out laughing,definetly the best part of this episode.
have they tried using the magic horn to ask our founding fathers? or did we use that this 100 yrs yet?
In Focus | Congress Forgets How To Pass A Law
Subscribe To The Onion's TH-cam Channel: bit.ly/xzrBUA
When did the Onion start publishing fact?
I like the new business model
There aught to be a law against that!
And people say no one reports good news anymore.
When it comes to screwing us they don't seem to forget.
"Eyeliner can work wonders".. LOL...
2:28 "Biden admits he expected to be president by now"
History has a weird way of coming back and slapping us.
Where do they say anything biden yall lying
I love how the reporters even parody the body language of reporters.
2:34 - That Biden reference is wild all these years later.
It would have been funnier if one of those guys was wearing headphones and watching the School House Rock episode on how a bill becomes a law.
And if they said fuck the gavel, let's just use this random dictionary.
Congress forgets how to elect a speaker
lol "Biden admits he expected to be president by now"
Well, wadya know, the onion got one thing right
when have they ever not been eerily prophetic
@Justin B ofcourse it's prophetic, how many vp become presidents? it never a given
@@shankhadeepshome3982 I mean… A LOT of VP’s become presidents
10 years later and somehow this sounds more believable than any of the news going on right now
This is true. Very few, Congressman know how to actually draft legislation. They leave it to staff who turn to lobbyists who really write the legislation.😒😒😒😡
Watching this on January 5, 2023. Feels very relevant.
This has aged like a fine wine
This has once again aged like a fine wine.
New drug to make heart attacks 60% more enjoyable.
Bhutan eager to begin talks with any country at all.
I just love this!
lol some people think this is fake
Wait really? I watched this live. It’s not fake
Lol wow i can't believe there's actually people that's dumb enough to think it's fake. Smh
2:35 "Biden admits he expected to be president by now"... THEY KNEW
I'm just a bill, yes I'm only a bill...
Literally them ‘trying’ to pass the newest Covid Relief Bill.
Their dedication to figuring out how to pass a law is truly impressive
2:30 "Biden admits he expected to be president by now" ... how in 2011?!
02:21 "Bhutan eager to begin dialogue with any country at all." 😂
lmao 😂😂
The onion needs to stop writing articles that become true within the next 10 years.
Fr lmaoo
They did stop. However I hope they didn't :(
This video like every other Onion video has aged like fine wine.
The brutal line at the end, “… the eyeliner can do wonders” and then her blank stare 😆🤣
"Eye liners can work wonders" OMG, the look on her face
Are they running Congress on a 32 bit or 64 bit system? The might’ve installed the wrong driver...
2:29 "Biden admits he expected to be president by now", these dudes are like, time travelers
Ideal congress right here.
They're a little confused but they've got the spirit.
fuck the efficiency between the weather segment being called Snowlocaust and the weather camera itself was absolutely amazing
Nice pfp
these guys were cooking back then
and they made a 10 star meal
Well this aged well with Kevin McCarthy repeatedly failing to become House speaker.
"Bhutan eager to begin dialogue with any country at all"
Gold.
This channel should get its own network on tv
So true. Unfortunately with all of the mindless idiots blindly following possibly leathal challenges online, someone would probably die because they don't know what satire is and have problems seeing beyond face value.
All it would take is one story about how eating batteries is a remarkable new source of iron or that scientists have found, if you angle your arms right, you can glide like a flying squirrel when falling from heights greater than 3 stories and it would be all over.
@@davidmurphy1207 Either that or some braindead morons would take offense to one of their news stories and try to shut them down for being something-ist. Y'know, cause we live in a time where satirical jokes can get someone imprisoned if its too offensive.
Ashton Brumit I think The Onion has its own movie, but that doesn't really count.
It would cost a lot to do a hole bunch of sketches everyday
Darwinism. Let it be!