"If I'm giving a TRUE request, I have to be okay with your answer, and honoring if that answer is a 'no'... Otherwise, I've just made a demand of you." Ooooh- that HIT me. I love that. I will be using this in my communications moving forward 100%
Yesss!!! Im glad I heard this, I realize I've been a lot more demanding than requesting. I'm excited to keep working in this bcs the change in relationships and situations is so noticeable!
Thank you for this presentation Maria. I heard you saying that "if Marshall was alive now you'd like to ask him how much of this was rooted in love." Actually Marshall has talked about it. In the book "Practical Spirituality: Reflections on the Spiritual Basis of Nonviolent Communication" Marshall days on page 5 "Nonviolent Communication really came out of my attempt to understand this concept of love and how to manifest it, how to do it. I came to the conclusion that it was not just something you feel, but it is something we manifest, something we do, something we have, And what is this manifestation? It is giving of ourselves on certain way." And he goes on to explain what "giving of ourselves" means. This book is only 32 pages long but essential in my opinion for a deeper understanding of NVC as a way of life not only a model of communication. Hope you'd find this useful.
This is a very important subject and learning field. Meditation is very helpful to dive into one's own inner psychology and needs. Many humans are quite unaware of what their actual social needs are so they act out those needs in a rather verbally abusive way one can observe this directly in chat rooms. We need an education reform and implement meditation into schools, group sessions, classes on psychology, brain anatomy, how animals communicate, the needs of living beings, how to take care of animals, how to be stewards of the Earth etc.
I have always tried to understand others and resolve with love ever since I can remember growing up. When I was younger, I lead with love so much so that I allowed others to mistreat me and use me but I never held a grudge and was still very happy in life. Now that I'm 30 I try to set bounderies while trying to create relationships with others but it always turns out the same mostly. They talk about their problems or needs and I try to help/meet their needs but they are not there for me in the ways I needed so I stopped talking too them. Now I have no friends and only 1 family member that I can open up too most of the time (my mom) so I'm really disappointed in what went wrong other than setting bounderies which has left me feeling so alone. It's hard from being very social to nonexistent in the past 5 years but I will be even more mindful now with these techniques and hopefully can find a resolution for a better success
Nice Video! I am reading the book of Nonviolence comunnication. I know that this is not easy to practice but is great way to improve ours connection with the others.
Have you gotten to Wayland Myers PhD's "Nonviolent Communication the basics as i know and use them"? That's pure gold. As the title implies it's a handbook on nvc ✌️
I think you mean nuances. Yes? Yes! She presents many of the subtle shifts in perception in a clever way. She helped me think about the differences in a Request and a Demand. I seek clarity in how to Request properly.
Thank you, Maria for your advocacy on this subject of Nonviolent Communication, where we need to speak to one another, trust one another, and to practice with one another. Let the healing begin. I miss you but you are are my mind often. GR will be back in Rochester...maybe working on it now, but only just a little slice of it!
Really great talk. After watching the San Francisco workshop I've ended up teaching it myself as well. Just did a video on needs and I've found getting back into researching it has been enlightening all over again!
Great talk Maria thank you for sharing your collage experiences and in this age of Facebook and Twitter demanding our opinion be heard, we absolutely need to teach more about "Win Win" outcomes. Would love to learn more about nonviolent communications. Keep the talks coming
Well it puts so much focus on not saying anything angry or emotional that actions can become ignored. In my experience I was abused and treated horribly which upset me. They refused to discontinue their behavior. They tried to make it so that I had to follow every last bit of the guidelines for non violent communication. By focusing on their “concern” and acting as though their will was good to have healthier communication. They were able to seem as though empowering them would be beneficial. The attitude they presented to my reactions to their abuse had a facade of caring and love that made it so people would get sucked in. NVC is a narcissists dream.
To put it more simply if you have all the power in a relationship like y parents did. And you are unwilling to budge abuse this power you can speak properly and all is forgiven. The general violence ie the harm caused is far greater by the person engaging in the abuse
well that is not NVC...the objective is creating a quality of connection where everybody needs get met..it seems to me what bothers you is the lack of authenticity that you experienced, is that right?
I believe they have it on the official website of TED, please, take a look there. Otherwise, you can create an account on Amara, and ask someone to make the transcription for you. I am kind of busy, otherwise I would be glad to help you!
"If I'm giving a TRUE request, I have to be okay with your answer, and honoring if that answer is a 'no'... Otherwise, I've just made a demand of you." Ooooh- that HIT me. I love that. I will be using this in my communications moving forward 100%
Yesss!!! Im glad I heard this, I realize I've been a lot more demanding than requesting. I'm excited to keep working in this bcs the change in relationships and situations is so noticeable!
Trueeee!!!
Thank you for this presentation Maria.
I heard you saying that "if Marshall was alive now you'd like to ask him how much of this was rooted in love."
Actually Marshall has talked about it. In the book "Practical Spirituality: Reflections on the Spiritual Basis of Nonviolent Communication" Marshall days on page 5 "Nonviolent Communication really came out of my attempt to understand this concept of love and how to manifest it, how to do it. I came to the conclusion that it was not just something you feel, but it is something we manifest, something we do, something we have, And what is this manifestation? It is giving of ourselves on certain way."
And he goes on to explain what "giving of ourselves" means.
This book is only 32 pages long but essential in my opinion for a deeper understanding of NVC as a way of life not only a model of communication.
Hope you'd find this useful.
Gordana Stanković i love this ❤️
Thank you for this. I'll read it after finishing the main book.
Thank you ❤️
Thank you 💗
Hvala
Kudos for facing your fears and speaking your truth. You have my respect.
This is a very important subject and learning field. Meditation is very helpful to dive into one's own inner psychology and needs. Many humans are quite unaware of what their actual social needs are so they act out those needs in a rather verbally abusive way one can observe this directly in chat rooms. We need an education reform and implement meditation into schools, group sessions, classes on psychology, brain anatomy, how animals communicate, the needs of living beings, how to take care of animals, how to be stewards of the Earth etc.
It sounds like you give all these things a lot of attention, is there work you are doing in these areas that you're able to share ?
I have always tried to understand others and resolve with love ever since I can remember growing up. When I was younger, I lead with love so much so that I allowed others to mistreat me and use me but I never held a grudge and was still very happy in life. Now that I'm 30 I try to set bounderies while trying to create relationships with others but it always turns out the same mostly. They talk about their problems or needs and I try to help/meet their needs but they are not there for me in the ways I needed so I stopped talking too them. Now I have no friends and only 1 family member that I can open up too most of the time (my mom) so I'm really disappointed in what went wrong other than setting bounderies which has left me feeling so alone. It's hard from being very social to nonexistent in the past 5 years but I will be even more mindful now with these techniques and hopefully can find a resolution for a better success
LIFE IS AN ILLUSION.
LIFE IS A DELUSION.
LIFE IS IGNORANCE.
IT'S NOT ABOUT THE ADJECTIVE.
IT'S ABOUT THE REACTION TO THE ADJECTIVE.
Beautiful impressive amazing soul . Destined for greatness. Thank you, bless you. All your dreams come true.
Nice Video! I am reading the book of Nonviolence comunnication. I know that this is not easy to practice but is great way to improve ours connection with the others.
Have you gotten to Wayland Myers PhD's "Nonviolent Communication the basics as i know and use them"? That's pure gold. As the title implies it's a handbook on nvc ✌️
Informative about the nuiasances of nonviolent communication. Phenomenal talk Maria.
I think you mean nuances. Yes? Yes! She presents many of the subtle shifts in perception in a clever way. She helped me think about the differences in a Request and a Demand. I seek clarity in how to Request properly.
I enjoyed that, thank you. In particular, I'd not previously heard the terms, Need, Action, Strategy and Feelings linked together so effectively.
Fantastic video for bringing NVC to the younger generations! Excellent presentation, Maria!
Thank you, Maria for your advocacy on this subject of Nonviolent Communication, where we need to speak to one another, trust one another, and to practice with one another. Let the healing begin. I miss you but you are are my mind often. GR will be back in Rochester...maybe working on it now, but only just a little slice of it!
Really great talk. After watching the San Francisco workshop I've ended up teaching it myself as well. Just did a video on needs and I've found getting back into researching it has been enlightening all over again!
Great talk! I appreciate connecting conflict resolution to love.
Teaching by example. Very interesting talk.
Great talk Maria thank you for sharing your collage experiences and in this age of Facebook and Twitter demanding our opinion be heard, we absolutely need to teach more about "Win Win" outcomes. Would love to learn more about nonviolent communications. Keep the talks coming
Nonviolent communication has the danger of making abusive people with power feel as though any anger directed at them is the problem.
How so?
Well it puts so much focus on not saying anything angry or emotional that actions can become ignored. In my experience I was abused and treated horribly which upset me. They refused to discontinue their behavior. They tried to make it so that I had to follow every last bit of the guidelines for non violent communication. By focusing on their “concern” and acting as though their will was good to have healthier communication. They were able to seem as though empowering them would be beneficial. The attitude they presented to my reactions to their abuse had a facade of caring and love that made it so people would get sucked in. NVC is a narcissists dream.
See below
To put it more simply if you have all the power in a relationship like y parents did. And you are unwilling to budge abuse this power you can speak properly and all is forgiven. The general violence ie the harm caused is far greater by the person engaging in the abuse
well that is not NVC...the objective is creating a quality of connection where everybody needs get met..it seems to me what bothers you is the lack of authenticity that you experienced, is that right?
Came here because of the kings transformation lesson yesterday :D
Looked for the best books of last few years. Theresa book with same title. Looking at video summaries can be great.
Thank you for this insightful talk.
she’s so pretty too 👁👄👁
Is it possible to have a transcript of this so I can translate to French? I'd like to communicate this with someone. Thank you.
I believe they have it on the official website of TED, please, take a look there. Otherwise, you can create an account on Amara, and ask someone to make the transcription for you. I am kind of busy, otherwise I would be glad to help you!
Excellent job!!!
where is the volume when Rosenberg speaks?
Is anyone knows Maria's MBTI type?
None Violent communication originated from Buddhism.
We have to understand our destiny.
Thankss
I’m reading NVC now. I didn’t realize the author had passed away. RIP 😢🤍
❤
Important subject. Disappointing talk
would love to hear your rendition in TED talks. your behavior is disappointing knowing the topic being discussed.