William Shatner tells a joke about Tommy Lasorda getting into a horse to play in a game. License Funniest Joke I ever heard Clips Here: dickclarklicens...
Unfortunately for the punchline, most people today wouldn't recognize the name, Hialeah, which was a major horse racing track in Florida in its day. Hialeah closed down years and years ago.
@@edgyguy5553 Takei entering the room would be enough to make me leave. The guy is a tit and had no problem being creepy about boys on Howard Stern’s show years ago. This was all before the woke crap and Weinstein.
He's a very good actor (albeit he did overact at times) and a great storyteller, but his screen presence, his gravitas, makes him a legend. One of my all-time favorites.
His generation of actors had leads that tended to be larger-than-life. When Shatner was getting started, Charlton Heston was the biggest actor in Hollywood. Plus Captain Kirk was required to be that kind of character. I agree that Shatner is a very good actor and I would cast him in anything.
Chris W is right about his overacting for the Star Trek role. He had to make the character bigger than life to draw viewers in. His emotional take on Kirk can be contrasted with Richard Basehart's more introspective take as captain of the submarine in Voyage To the Bottom of the Sea which was on TV around the same time frame as Star Trek. In that show the first officer was the more emotional of the 2 which may have been the model for STTNG. For a more subtle Shatner performance look up his interpretation of the role of Marc Antony in performing the "Friends, Romans, Countrymen..." speech in a Canadian television production of Julius Caesar from the early 60's. Then contrast that role with Marlon Brando's and Charleston Heston's takes on the same role delivering that speech. I think you'll find that Shatner's performance compares favorably given the shoestring budget of the production vs. the full blown, movie studio budgets that Brando and Heston benefitted from. Shatner is not a great actor but he's made a living by being a versatile performer. Comedy, drama, narrator, host, interviewer, documentaries, stage performer, pitchman, astronaut, and even singing have been tackled by him, and he has succeeded, to varying degrees, in all of them. The last line of his vanity project, "The Captains" features the last line which has stuck with me ever since I saw it, delivered in true Shatner style: "Beam me up Scotty, but...not...just ...yet."
He's 90, & still rides & shows. Still handsome too. Mr. Shatner, your fantastic. Still the Energizer battery. All the best, sir. & have a great trip into space & come back smiling!
Sound engineer: When should I put in the laugh track? Director: I have no fucking clue what he's talking about. Just put it after every sentence to cover our asses.
I remember Shatner as a guest on BBC Radio 1's Steve Wright in the Afternoon, back in 1990 (or thereabouts) and he was talking about his farm and that he breeds horses, then added "well, I don't. I have a stallion!" 😂
If I told that joke down the pub, there would be silence and tumbleweeds, and perhaps somewhere in the distance you might hear a lonely bell tolling last orders as the wind howls through the eaves...The joke isn't funny, and I can't tell jokes, but here's the thing...Shatner has got it all down in the delivery and it made me burst out laughing (even though I'm in the UK, don't know jack shit about baseball or horse racing, who Lasorda is, and had to scroll through the comments to find out what Hialeah was). But who am I to argue with the captain of the Enterprise?
Got a serious honest laugh out of your sum-up (punch) line, Rob--your whole comment has perfect timing, pace, delivery, and the last bit totally caught me off guard.
@@kjmakesvideos Haha! That obvious was it? Yes, much to my ongoing shame and embarrassment, I do have the dubious 'honour' of hailing from a miserable, insular, rain soaked rock, stuck between the north-east Atlantic and North Sea, run by a basket case government. Cheers KJ, take care.🖖
A traveling salesman is so tired and the weather is so bad that he stops at a farmer's and asks if can spend the night, and he doesn't even care if he has a daughter. Turns out the farmer did have a daughter and she asked the salesman for a double entendre, so he gave it to her.
Shatner is not just a pretty face at the helm of a Star Ship he's a brilliant comedian as was demonstrated in that recent sitcom where he played the father.
This reminds me of the report that a baseball scout wrote about a certain prospect he had been sent to check out. After watching the kid play a little, he wrote in his scouting report "Kid looks like Tarzan. Throws like Jane."
A cowboy gallops into an old west town and stops in front of a saloon, where an old-timer sits in a rocking chair just observing the happenings in the town. The cowboy dismount, ties his horse to the post, then goes around behind the horse, lifts the horse's tail, and kisses the horse's ass, deep and center. And this is all in full view of the old timer, who stopped rocking in his chair, frozen solid, stunned in complete disbelief of what he just witnessed. As the cowboy begins to venture into the saloon, the old timer shouts out, "Excuse me! Excuse me, a minute, you with the horse!" The rider looks over and acknowlegdes the old timer and replies, "Yes? What can I do for you, old timer?" The old man says, "Can I ask you a personal question?" Rider says, "I reckon." The old timer asks, "WHY the hell did you just kiss your horse right square on his asshole? Are you in love with the sonofabitch?" The rider says, "No no, I'm not in love with the damn horse! You see, I have chapped lips!" Puzzled, the old timer asks, "Well... does that CURE them?" The rider replies, "Nope! But it sure as hell STOPS you from LICKING them!"
Sounds like he is still on the bridge of the Enterprise: "So this alien says, 'If I could run at warp speed, I'd be in the Hiatha quadrant'....." (hahahahaha)
Hialeah is a horse race event or track. The joke would have worked better if he’d used a more well-known race like the Kentucky Derby. Still an entertaining telling of a lame joke.
Guy walks into a bar, not a soul in the place except the bartender who asks "What'll ya have?" The man orders a beer. The barkeep brings it to him and leaves. The man is all alone drinking his beer when he hears a voice say "nice shoes". The man looks around and sees nobody in the bar and figures his imagination got the better of him. He takes another sip of beer and hears a voice say "That is a beautiful necktie". The man looks around- still not a soul in the bar. The man thinks he is losing his mind, he takes another sip and the voice says "That is a perfect haircut you have, I wish I had hair like that". The man thought he was losing his mind! Finally the bartender walked back in. The patron who was hearing voices thinking he was going insane asked the bartender what he thought. The bartender replied "Oh, that's just the peanuts, they're complimentary.
The Hialeah Park Race Track is a historic horse racing club in Hialeah, Florida. I think Churchill Downs or Preakness would have been better-known choices, but I love how he tells it.
@@bryanbaker5942 Awww, poor muffin. You want a few minutes in your cry closet? You want a teddy bear or a blanky? You lost 91 seconds.. oh, the trauma. Meanwhile you probably waste 91 minutes doing all kinds of stupid shit. If you cannot appreciate ALL humor - including that "bad" jokes and "tasteless" humor - then it is YOU who needs to raise YOUR standards. Stop being a humor-elitst snob. You only come off sounding like an asshole with a big stick jammed up yours.
yes, really, Carpool was an interview idea with 100+ shows between 2009 - 2014 by Robert Llewellyn, in 2011 Corden did a comedy sketch with George Michael on the same line but obviously, the karaoke idea evolved. Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee similarly ran originally from 2012 - 2019 with Seinfeld acknowledging "carpool". So it's just a good idea that evolves. Few things are truly original. I like it. It's fun, it's not "real" and is often filmed on a trailer, but that's how shows work.
Bill does an excellent job narrating the History Channel show "The Unexplained " . His delivery is smooth and easy to listen to. Love to watch this show always interesting content.
Thanks, he told the joke well until the punch line, I didn't hear or even know what Hialeah was. Maybe needs to say the whole thing, "Hialeah Race track".
My friend had a horse she rode at the same place he did, a stables on the north side of Griffith Park in the Valley. She'd see him occasionally and never took his ability seriously; he had the money to keep it a hobby where she was trying to make a living of training horses at the time.
Even I laughed at that one. check out shatners saddlebred horses; the most gorgeous equines on earth! ya, i have had several saddlebreds and one arabian plus other breeds, nothing else comes close! I want another one!
If someone else didn't understand the punchline: 'For the record, "Hialeah" refers to Florida's Hialeah Park Race Track, which apparently used to be quite a famed horse racing venue. '
Good joke. In 1963, there was an episode of Mr. Ed in which he tries out for the Dodgers. That was during the term of Walter Alston, who immediately preceded Lasorda.
That guy should be a comedian. That guy should be a comedian. I don't get why anyone would hate this guy. Just because he has a slight negative side. Like nobody complained when Nimoy refused to be part of generations, because he hated the script. Shatner has not done anything wrong. And Everyone has their feuds and disagreements. That's what makes us human.
Two guys are betting each other all kinds of goofy shit in a park one day, with high stakes. Money is trading hands back and forth. A horseback cop strolls by, and asks, "You boys gambling?" Nervously, one denies the charge, but the other confesses, and says, "Yes, officer, we were gambling and betting." The cop replies, "You know that's against the law! I'm gonna have to run you in!" But the man says, "Please, officer, if you'll indulge me in one last wager - if I can make your horse LAUGH, you let us off ; but if not, you can take me and my buddy in with no problem." Intrigued by the bizarre proposition, thinking it's a sure thing, the cop agrees. How the hell is he gonna make a HORSE LAUGH? Snickering to himself, he watches the man whisper somethingn into the horse's ear. The horse starts laughing and braying hysterically. Shocked, and a little annoyed,, the cop says, "Aww hell, that don't prove anything! A horse neighing and whinneying can sound like a laugh, but that doesn't MAKE it a real laugh! I'm running you in!" "Please, officer," begs the man, "You're right, that was a sketchy one - so how about this ; if I can make your horse CRY, you not only let me and my friend walk, but you also NEVER hassle us for betting and gambling again! But if I fail, you can bust us on any additional charges you like! Deal?" This time the cop thinks he has them by the balls, and agrees. "For this one, officer, I will need a moment of privacy with your horse..." The cop is confused, but still curious to see how this guy is gonna play this one, so he agrees, but on the condition that he venture no further than 3 meters and stay well within sight. The cop dismounts, steps away from the horse and the man walks the horse off the path a little ways. The cop's vantage point is mostly of the horse's ass with the man obscured by the animal, so he cannot quite see what the guy is doing, but still has him in view... As the man faces the horse, he shrugs and shuffles about and it appears he adjusts his pants for a moment... all of a sudden, the horse starts BAWLING like a baby... Now the cop is in awe... and he says "Okay, HOW did you do that? What the hell did you do???" "Well," replied the man, "When I made your horse laugh, I whispered to him that I had a bigger dick than he did..." "HAH! I'd laugh too!" mocked the cop, "So how'd you make the damn horse CRY??" "I unzipped my pants and I PROVED IT." Bonus "punchline" : The man indeed won the wager, and was never bothered again for gambling or betting... but he was immediately busted for indecent exposure and animal cruelty.
Having lived close to Hialeah at one time I got it instantly. One might think the track had been built in the 40's, but nope... it opened in 1979. Good joke Bill.
The track was built in 1922. There is actual youtube footage of Winston Churchill attending a horse race there. Not to mention people like John F Kennedy and Frank Sinatra attended events there way before 1979.
I'm afraid Shatner's out of his element telling a baseball joke. He would undoubtably tell it with more enthusiasm and provide more details if it was a horse playing on a hockey team.
Joke is very out date, with references to someone who is affiliated with baseball and the punchline references a place I've never heard of in Florida . If a lot of net searches for explanations is what makes a joke funny then Cowboy Bill nailed it!
seriously, the man speaks at warp 6, while I could understand most he seems to speed up even more at the end, the last sentence is at warp 12 or so, I couldn't understand... Thanks Vyselink for transcribing.
Unfortunately for the punchline, most people today wouldn't recognize the name, Hialeah, which was a major horse racing track in Florida in its day. Hialeah closed down years and years ago.
thanks !!!! I was wondering
Even with the explanation oooof that joke :/
Thank you for that. I was like Hia what?
Thanks for the info! I was thinking it was some kind of race track from the context.
Generally speaking, 'any' race track would suffice for the punchline. I was also lost on the Hialeah portion, and I live in Fl :P
The best part is listening to Shatner telling the story.
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he has a great narrators voice for sure. i remember him on rescue 911 doing the talking.
On a horse no less.
That’s always the best part
@Paul Mathews LoL
Watching him tell the joke is ten times funnier than the joke itself! How can you not love this guy?!?
"how can you not love this guy?"
George Takei enters the chat...
I had no clue what the hell he was talking about but it was funny
I think he would agree with you. : )
Then you clearly haven’t watched his rendition of Rocket Man 😂😂
@@edgyguy5553 Takei entering the room would be enough to make me leave. The guy is a tit and had no problem being creepy about boys on Howard Stern’s show years ago. This was all before the woke crap and Weinstein.
The best part is that the horse is listening to the joke.
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Yeah, but the horse didn’t laugh either :/
@@nitdiver5 he did watch his head lol 1:19
He's a very good actor (albeit he did overact at times) and a great storyteller, but his screen presence, his gravitas, makes him a legend. One of my all-time favorites.
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He underacted.
His generation of actors had leads that tended to be larger-than-life. When Shatner was getting started, Charlton Heston was the biggest actor in Hollywood. Plus Captain Kirk was required to be that kind of character. I agree that Shatner is a very good actor and I would cast him in anything.
@@chrisw6164 Yes he is a great actor even if he has had miscues . Some of his style has had an influence over subsequent generations .
Chris W is right about his overacting for the Star Trek role. He had to make the character bigger than life to draw viewers in. His emotional take on Kirk can be contrasted with Richard Basehart's more introspective take as captain of the submarine in Voyage To the Bottom of the Sea which was on TV around the same time frame as Star Trek. In that show the first officer was the more emotional of the 2 which may have been the model for STTNG. For a more subtle Shatner performance look up his interpretation of the role of Marc Antony in performing the "Friends, Romans, Countrymen..." speech in a Canadian television production of Julius Caesar from the early 60's. Then contrast that role with Marlon Brando's and Charleston Heston's takes on the same role delivering that speech. I think you'll find that Shatner's performance compares favorably given the shoestring budget of the production vs. the full blown, movie studio budgets that Brando and Heston benefitted from.
Shatner is not a great actor but he's made a living by being a versatile performer. Comedy, drama, narrator, host, interviewer, documentaries, stage performer, pitchman, astronaut, and even singing have been tackled by him, and he has succeeded, to varying degrees, in all of them. The last line of his vanity project, "The Captains" features the last line which has stuck with me ever since I saw it, delivered in true Shatner style: "Beam me up Scotty, but...not...just ...yet."
He's 90, & still rides & shows. Still handsome too. Mr. Shatner, your fantastic. Still the Energizer battery. All the best, sir. & have a great trip into space & come back smiling!
Watched a new movie last night that he starred in called Senior Moment really enjoyed it, had some funny stuff in it. He truly doesn't look his age.
Your right, A Canadian hero.
@@Lady-Carmakazi He always looked older than he was so he just grew into his age.
@@mckessa17 Why is he a hero? I don't recall him doing something heroic in real life.
@@varrjames186 You need to remove yourself from this chat, he has saved us so many times from the Klingons.
A horse walks into a bar…the bartender asks: “Hey, buddy! Why the long face?” One of my all time favorite horse jokes!
I like this joke better with John Kerry in place of the horse.
His mannerisms and style of voice is what makes this funny !!
This, ladies and gentlemen, is a man with his charisma stat maxed.
...and Horse Riding.
Sound engineer: When should I put in the laugh track?
Director: I have no fucking clue what he's talking about. Just put it after every sentence to cover our asses.
The horse hits the ball so hard it goes into...
SPACE..... WHERE NO BALL HAS GONE BEFORE!
Nice
AussieBlokeGordo - That was funnier then the original joke.
Sounds logical
@@CatMan_7 Same...like WTF is Hialeah ?
I see what you did there 😅
Hearing that voice again brings back childhood memories! Joke or no joke , we love you captain! Wish Spok was here
Shatner is a good storyteller! Great delivery! Loved his one-man show on Broadway!
Well if the horse has hit the ball out of the park, he doesn't need to run, just trot around the bases.
Can’t trot!!
Got sore balls!
So true!!
William Shatner proving once again that he is the true master of all forms of entertainment.
you're kidding... that was horrible on many levels.
+tomitstube it was funny because it was The Shat LOL
yeah he started to suck it up a few times...lol b ut good for you,william shatner....nanu nanu
mothertree don't know if your joking but nanu nanu was robin williams.
tomitstube Shazbot lol
not everyone can tell a joke but he nailed it with that timing
I remember Shatner as a guest on BBC Radio 1's Steve Wright in the Afternoon, back in 1990 (or thereabouts) and he was talking about his farm and that he breeds horses, then added "well, I don't. I have a stallion!" 😂
Nobody does a bad Shatner impersonation better than Shatner.
Ain't nobody could pull that joke off better than Shatner.
A storyteller for sure.
How could anyone not like that joke 😂😂😂
If I told that joke down the pub, there would be silence and tumbleweeds, and perhaps somewhere in the distance you might hear a lonely bell tolling last orders as the wind howls through the eaves...The joke isn't funny, and I can't tell jokes, but here's the thing...Shatner has got it all down in the delivery and it made me burst out laughing (even though I'm in the UK, don't know jack shit about baseball or horse racing, who Lasorda is, and had to scroll through the comments to find out what Hialeah was). But who am I to argue with the captain of the Enterprise?
Got a serious honest laugh out of your sum-up (punch) line, Rob--your whole comment has perfect timing, pace, delivery, and the last bit totally caught me off guard.
@@richardjones2795 Thanks Richard, you're too kind! 😎. Much appreciated.
Hope you have a great Christmas.
I read about 2 lines into your paragraph and KNEE you were British
@@kjmakesvideos Haha! That obvious was it? Yes, much to my ongoing shame and embarrassment, I do have the dubious 'honour' of hailing from a miserable, insular, rain soaked rock, stuck between the north-east Atlantic and North Sea, run by a basket case government.
Cheers KJ, take care.🖖
@@robread-jones3698 I understand, as a US citizen, I can relate to the struggles of coming from a disgraceful ancestry 💯
'He's losing his mind!' LOL Williiam you are DA BOMB
00:33 - 'second'...
00:34 - 'base'...
The Shatner dramatic pause even finds it's way into a joke.
Actually it's a part of still being just a little anxious after all of these years. I'm 55, not shy at all and still do it myself.
The horse doesn’t need to run, he just hit a home run. Just walk the bases.
“But for, how long”?
@@bongofury5924 I’m sure a horse of this talent, can round the bases after a home run just as fast as a major leaguer.
@@bongofury5924 sadly bongo, your comment is lost on this generation, but not the next
Shatner is a national treasure. I swear that he looks better at 90 than I do at 72! I work out and follow a healthy diet -- how does it do it?
He looks like crap. That being the case, I feel for you.
and that was funny. we’re big fans of his also can’t believe how good he looks at the age of 90. rock on Jim.
And now - Shatner IN SPACE !
This is like the 4th funniest horse baseball joke I've heard
a travelling salesman walks into a bar. bartenders says, "Hey buddy, you in the wrong joke?"
That horse walked in the same bar, bartender says "Hey buddy why the long face?"
A traveling salesman is so tired and the weather is so bad that he stops at a farmer's and asks if can spend the night, and he doesn't even care if he has a daughter. Turns out the farmer did have a daughter and she asked the salesman for a double entendre, so he gave it to her.
@@capnbobretired
Prairie Home Companion
with Garrison Keelor. Right?
A white horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "Hey we have a whisky named after you". The horse says, "What? Ernie?".
I loved the decadent Denny Crane. That is where his talent shined.
th-cam.com/video/Jk4utbVpwWA/w-d-xo.html
I love William Shatner aslong he doesnt start to sing!
I suppose that the last word uttered by Shatner must be a historic horse track, because I never heard of it.
I remember it as a dog track, which of course makes the joke funnier than if he'd said the Derby or Kentucky Downs or something.
I looked it up, it started with dog racing but later became a famous horse racing track.
Hialeah Park Race Track in Florida.
theres lots you dont know, pal. Read a book.
Thanks for clarifying, I was wonder what the hell he said.
Hahaha. Enjoy your time in space Mr Shatner. You’ve earned it.
Only Shatner can make a joke sound like a dramatic monologue.
Shatner is not just a pretty face at the helm of a Star Ship he's a brilliant comedian as was demonstrated in that recent sitcom where he played the father.
"Shit my father says" ? Pretty good but they canned it after one season, I believe.
@@boke75 you're close but I believe it was 'Psych'
@@peacemama4957 psych ? Huh ? Nope, please in Canada it was “*#%^ My Father Says”. Shat kept it afloat.
The Shat has hit the fan.
Ha
This reminds me of the report that a baseball scout wrote about a certain prospect he had been sent to check out. After watching the kid play a little, he wrote in his scouting report "Kid looks like Tarzan. Throws like Jane."
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Today you would be instantly cancelled for telling this joke. 😉
Funny thing is, I remember an episode "Mr. Ed" actually plays baseball, and slid full gallop into a base!
TH-cam "Mr.Ed plays baseball"
He hits one off the wall with Sandy Koufax pitching, then slides into home plate
Only way for mr Ed to top that would be to take command of the starship Enterprise.....🤪
This Kevin Pollock joke is really something!! LOL!! ...he reminds me of William Shatner.
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A cowboy gallops into an old west town and stops in front of a saloon, where an old-timer sits in a rocking chair just observing the happenings in the town.
The cowboy dismount, ties his horse to the post, then goes around behind the horse, lifts the horse's tail, and kisses the horse's ass, deep and center. And this is all in full view of the old timer, who stopped rocking in his chair, frozen solid, stunned in complete disbelief of what he just witnessed.
As the cowboy begins to venture into the saloon, the old timer shouts out, "Excuse me! Excuse me, a minute, you with the horse!"
The rider looks over and acknowlegdes the old timer and replies, "Yes? What can I do for you, old timer?"
The old man says, "Can I ask you a personal question?"
Rider says, "I reckon."
The old timer asks, "WHY the hell did you just kiss your horse right square on his asshole? Are you in love with the sonofabitch?"
The rider says, "No no, I'm not in love with the damn horse! You see, I have chapped lips!"
Puzzled, the old timer asks, "Well... does that CURE them?"
The rider replies, "Nope! But it sure as hell STOPS you from LICKING them!"
Thats pretty good 👍
Technically, it's a horsehole.
@@AwestrikeFearofGods Hah! Touché! :-P
🤢
Sounds like he is still on the bridge of the Enterprise: "So this alien says, 'If I could run at warp speed, I'd be in the Hiatha quadrant'....." (hahahahaha)
Good one captain. 😊
When Captain tells a joke, you laugh.
Thanks Bill, that's a minute and a half my life I'll never get back.
He could read the phone book and it’d be incredible
I laughed and I didn’t even get the joke. Shatner is awesome
Hialeah is a horse race event or track. The joke would have worked better if he’d used a more well-known race like the Kentucky Derby. Still an entertaining telling of a lame joke.
Horse walks into a bar, bartender says"why the Long face"
Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says... hello Sarah Jessica Parker
@David S your welcome!
Seven years later after this is posted and I'm still disappointed
@ thejdcahill - female mare horse replies :
'' because of the gay pride , nobody wants to ride me '' .
@Adolf Lincoler - but if that horse is feeling getty , then it would be wheEEEEEehe'he'he'h'eat .
I like how he used Lasorda in the joke. Lasorda everyone's favorite baseball coach
Indeed
Guy walks into a bar, not a soul in the place except the bartender who asks "What'll ya have?" The man orders a beer. The barkeep brings it to him and leaves. The man is all alone drinking his beer when he hears a voice say "nice shoes". The man looks around and sees nobody in the bar and figures his imagination got the better of him. He takes another sip of beer and hears a voice say "That is a beautiful necktie". The man looks around- still not a soul in the bar. The man thinks he is losing his mind, he takes another sip and the voice says "That is a perfect haircut you have, I wish I had hair like that". The man thought he was losing his mind! Finally the bartender walked back in. The patron who was hearing voices thinking he was going insane asked the bartender what he thought. The bartender replied "Oh, that's just the peanuts, they're complimentary.
Now that was BAD. LOL😀
that man can speak 100 words a second.
Now that's not only funny but well told!
I had to assume Hyaleah/Hialeah (sp?) was some kind of major horserace outfit, like the Kentucky Derby... still a good joke.
The Hialeah Park Race Track is a historic horse racing club in Hialeah, Florida. I think Churchill Downs or Preakness would have been better-known choices, but I love how he tells it.
I thiught it was the army base in korea called highalea
santa Clause Well, maybe that's the one he meant!
You should raise your standards on what you consider a good joke. That’s 91 seconds of my life I’ll never get back.
@@bryanbaker5942
Awww, poor muffin. You want a few minutes in your cry closet? You want a teddy bear or a blanky? You lost 91 seconds.. oh, the trauma. Meanwhile you probably waste 91 minutes doing all kinds of stupid shit.
If you cannot appreciate ALL humor - including that "bad" jokes and "tasteless" humor - then it is YOU who needs to raise YOUR standards. Stop being a humor-elitst snob. You only come off sounding like an asshole with a big stick jammed up yours.
Watch this with no sound, but with captions.
almost shat myself
hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I've always loved Shatner. 🥰
Magnificent storyteller Mr. Shatner.
yes, really, Carpool was an interview idea with 100+ shows between 2009 - 2014 by Robert Llewellyn, in 2011 Corden did a comedy sketch with George Michael on the same line but obviously, the karaoke idea evolved. Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee similarly ran originally from 2012 - 2019 with Seinfeld acknowledging "carpool". So it's just a good idea that evolves. Few things are truly original. I like it. It's fun, it's not "real" and is often filmed on a trailer, but that's how shows work.
Bill does an excellent job narrating the History Channel show "The Unexplained " . His delivery is smooth and easy to listen to. Love to watch this show always interesting content.
Who is Bill
Los Angeles Dodgers and Hialeah Park Race Track, Florida. So this joke is bicoastal.
No kidding.
Cincinnati.
Hialeah Park Race Track, Florida
I reckon it's funny but I knew what Hialeah was.
Thanks, I didnt even know what he said. Phonetically I did, but never heard that one before.
Thanks, he told the joke well until the punch line, I didn't hear or even know what Hialeah was. Maybe needs to say the whole thing, "Hialeah Race track".
I must say, most of the jokes from this show, from what I've seen so far, have gone totally over my head.
@Siska0Robert It took me a while to get too. He said, "If I could run I'd be at Hialeah!" In reference to the historic Hialeah Park Race Track.
TY...
Ugh .. that joke hurt even after 37 years. I'd recommend dropping that joke on our enemies but joke warfare was banned post WWII.
My friend had a horse she rode at the same place he did, a stables on the north side of Griffith Park in the Valley. She'd see him occasionally and never took his ability seriously; he had the money to keep it a hobby where she was trying to make a living of training horses at the time.
Shatner told that joke so much that he got...hoarse.
I love The Shat! 🥰
Even I laughed at that one. check out shatners saddlebred horses; the most gorgeous equines on earth! ya, i have had several saddlebreds and one arabian plus other breeds, nothing else comes close! I want another one!
Bill is just horsing around!
It's the same joke as the 6ft Rabbit who gets a job at Billy Smart's Circus and asks:
"Why does Billy Smart need a bricklayer?"
If someone else didn't understand the punchline:
'For the record, "Hialeah" refers to Florida's Hialeah Park Race Track, which apparently used to be quite a famed horse racing venue. '
awesome joke
So funny, it would make SPOCK laugh!!
No comprendo, but I love this actor!
0:53 - "Lasorda IS....[acts terribly for a bit]...ecSTATIC!"
Good joke. In 1963, there was an episode of Mr. Ed in which he tries out for the Dodgers. That was during the term of Walter Alston, who immediately preceded Lasorda.
Heh. Ever the master of over-dramatics, Shatner shows up on a horse, lmao.
Everybody's gangsta until Shatner shows up on a horse.
Shatner like the late Alex Trebek raises horses. He's no poser.
@@Paintppa1 Lol; I never said that he was a poser. I said that he is the master of over-dramatics.
@@truckertriesfarming9792 Denny Crane
That’s Shakespearean. Is it? Remember Hamlet? Very dramatic. To me, William Shatner is. a Shakespearean actor.
Gotta love canned laughter
The horse under him was a little embarrassed.
This dude (just the other day) went to freaking outerspace! Unreal! God bless you sir
That guy should be a comedian.
That guy should be a comedian.
I don't get why anyone would hate this guy. Just because he has a slight negative side. Like nobody complained when Nimoy refused to be part of generations, because he hated the script. Shatner has not done anything wrong. And Everyone has their feuds and disagreements. That's what makes us human.
Two guys are betting each other all kinds of goofy shit in a park one day, with high stakes. Money is trading hands back and forth.
A horseback cop strolls by, and asks, "You boys gambling?"
Nervously, one denies the charge, but the other confesses, and says, "Yes, officer, we were gambling and betting."
The cop replies, "You know that's against the law! I'm gonna have to run you in!"
But the man says, "Please, officer, if you'll indulge me in one last wager - if I can make your horse LAUGH, you let us off ; but if not, you can take me and my buddy in with no problem."
Intrigued by the bizarre proposition, thinking it's a sure thing, the cop agrees. How the hell is he gonna make a HORSE LAUGH?
Snickering to himself, he watches the man whisper somethingn into the horse's ear. The horse starts laughing and braying hysterically.
Shocked, and a little annoyed,, the cop says, "Aww hell, that don't prove anything! A horse neighing and whinneying can sound like a laugh, but that doesn't MAKE it a real laugh! I'm running you in!"
"Please, officer," begs the man, "You're right, that was a sketchy one - so how about this ; if I can make your horse CRY, you not only let me and my friend walk, but you also NEVER hassle us for betting and gambling again! But if I fail, you can bust us on any additional charges you like! Deal?"
This time the cop thinks he has them by the balls, and agrees.
"For this one, officer, I will need a moment of privacy with your horse..."
The cop is confused, but still curious to see how this guy is gonna play this one, so he agrees, but on the condition that he venture no further than 3 meters and stay well within sight.
The cop dismounts, steps away from the horse and the man walks the horse off the path a little ways. The cop's vantage point is mostly of the horse's ass with the man obscured by the animal, so he cannot quite see what the guy is doing, but still has him in view... As the man faces the horse, he shrugs and shuffles about and it appears he adjusts his pants for a moment... all of a sudden, the horse starts BAWLING like a baby...
Now the cop is in awe... and he says "Okay, HOW did you do that? What the hell did you do???"
"Well," replied the man, "When I made your horse laugh, I whispered to him that I had a bigger dick than he did..."
"HAH! I'd laugh too!" mocked the cop, "So how'd you make the damn horse CRY??"
"I unzipped my pants and I PROVED IT."
Bonus "punchline" : The man indeed won the wager, and was never bothered again for gambling or betting... but he was immediately busted for indecent exposure and animal cruelty.
hialia?
A man walks into a bar - ouch!
I haven’t wasted 91 seconds of my life that bad since the Tyson-Spinks fight.
Now that's funny 😂😂😂😂😂
Ha!
The horse didnt laugh so I asked it “Why tha long face ? “
Can I please have that minute and a half back please...
Having lived close to Hialeah at one time I got it instantly. One might think the track had been built in the 40's, but nope... it opened in 1979. Good joke Bill.
Aha, I thought he said "in a higher league"!
The track was built in 1922. There is actual youtube footage of Winston Churchill attending a horse race there. Not to mention people like John F Kennedy and Frank Sinatra attended events there way before 1979.
I'm afraid Shatner's out of his element telling a baseball joke. He would undoubtably tell it with more enthusiasm and provide more details if it was a horse playing on a hockey team.
That's a minute thirty I can't get back...
"I love horses. It's part of my heritage as a Canadian Jew from Quebec."
A Canadian, a Jew and a horse walk into a bar....
Joke is very out date, with references to someone who is affiliated with baseball and the punchline references a place I've never heard of in Florida
. If a lot of net searches for explanations is what makes a joke funny then Cowboy Bill nailed it!
His speaking-style reminds me of The Rock from WWF!
Horse walks into a bar, bartender says "Is this some kind of Joke"
bartender says "Why do you make such a Long Face"
@@thomaspfitzner3542 Why the long face?
Horse walks into the bar. They leave with some johns.
Most people now adays don't know what/where Hileah is
Adays? I guess you think that's an English word.
seriously, the man speaks at warp 6, while I could understand most he seems to speed up even more at the end, the last sentence is at warp 12 or so, I couldn't understand...
Thanks Vyselink for transcribing.
I think if you run away from the joke at warp 2, it will doppler shift down back into the audio spectrum.
Its a long joke, and we have become a one liner world.
The Shat rocks!!!
Actually a very funny joke undertold (Is that a word? It is now)
Shatner underselling something?? Now that's hilarious
I ‘ Shat’ myself laughing over this.....🤪
God dam it Jim! I'm a doctor not a vet!
Great story 🙂
His own line of Shatner pants is still something I wanna see produced.
You Shatner pants last night.
never knew he could ride so well.
OK the joke was actually funny but the delivery has no equal! Amazing.
th-cam.com/video/Jk4utbVpwWA/w-d-xo.html