Emotionally Abusive Narcissists Will Lose Their Minds IF Empaths Do These 10 Things
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 พ.ค. 2024
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1️⃣ Emotionally Abusive Narcissists Will Lose Their Minds IF Empaths Do These 10 Things: • Emotionally Abusive Na...
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Emotionally Abusive Narcissists Will Lose Their Minds IF Empaths Do These 10 Things // There are ten things empaths can do to turn the tables and cause emotionally abusive narcissists to be the ones to lose their minds, for a change.
Here’s what’s true:
The effects of long term exposure to an emotionally abusive narcissist can and will take a toll on your mental health.
Whether it’s your emotionally abusive parents, emotionally abusive husband, emotionally abusive mother, emotionally abusive father, emotionally abusive wife, or anyone else who has a destructive narcissist personality pattern, the price we pay as a result of remaining enmeshed in toxic relationships with people on the spectrum of destructive narcissism is steep.
Narcissistic people are highly toxic and manipulative. In addition, they feel entitled to exploit and deceive others, in particular, those who are closest to them.
If you’ve suffered from the effects of narcissistic abuse, this video will equip you with the strategies necessary to take your power back once and for all.
Enjoy!
~ Tamie M xx
#superempath #knowyourvalue #unlockyourfreedom
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⚜️ WHO IS TAMIE M? ⚜️
Tamie M is a Life Coach specializing in Empath Empowerment. She is an expert in the areas of codependency and narcissistic abuse recovery. She teaches people how to transform their lives through the use of many powerful healing, recovery, and ascension modalities. She does her best work with those who identify as being highly empathic, as well as those who have been cast as the family scapegoat. She is on the planet to support awakening Light Leaders to step into their personal power, divine purpose, and mission.
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• Emotionally Abusive Na...
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#narcissism #narcissisticabuse #tamiemjoyce
Hey Friends! Thanks for watching!! If this resonated with you, you'll want to sign up for the FREE WEBCLASS I'm offering on how to heal and recover from codependency and narcissistic abuse so you NEVER fall prey to emotional manipulation and psychological abuse ever again! HERE'S THE LINK: www.tamiem.info/freeclass
I was married to one it was crazy dealing all the drama he wanted I tryed everything to let him know I was not dealing with it
I need the class
@@Jwanene you can learn more here: www.tamiemcoaching.com/the-freedom-class-self-paced
Please tell me. Can 2 narcissistic live together happily ? I got husband and wife narcissistic living opposite my house. They're both very creepy, sneaky, stalkers, even their children, they stalk everyone and like to use people for their benefit. They have no empathy towards any one.
I'm currently using all of them. No longer an emotional landing pad.
I’m an Empath that finally had enough! While during a phone call my now ex toxic alcoholic Narcissistic boyfriend had the nerve to say to me. “ I’m going to sleep on the idea weather I want to keep you in my life or not”! I simply stated in return “Let me make this decision quite simple. I am done with you! Good riddance!” I then hung up and immediately went NO CONTACT permanently and have been that way since October 😀! He has tried to open a dozen false Facebook accounts, however I never bother checking his accounts. I have moved on, joined the local gym, going out and am happier than I have ever been at 71 🥰.
When you get to that age its so much easier to cut em loose
My best remedy to a narcissist , is complete silence they detest being ignored in everything you do. It gets to them HEAD ON, AND WORKS EVERYTIME !!
Complete silence plus the death stare if you're around them. It completely disarms them.
72 here,and I have broken free also. Empath, learned strong boundaries, and broke free after 28 yr.marriage.loving life,grandchildren, friends.
I've begun to see remarks and actions in a different light. Like a language. Decoding what's really being said. When he says something particularly nasty or unwanted, I'm training myself to hear, I know I'm losing control. I want it back. If you react, I've got it. And then I don't. Like translating language. Gibberish questions. Redundant remarks. Anything to get me to reply and eventually react, gets met with silence. I don't even bother trying to explain. I don't care what he thinks. If he pushes so hard that I can't get around it? I just say, you need to see a doctor. Until you do that and engage in therapy, there's nothing to talk about. And that stops him cold. Because he knows it's true.
I used to crave interaction and attempts to build a relationship. I don't anymore. There's nothing there. There's no reason. He's just a guy I got tangled up with and I've got to untangle. Nothing more. There's nothing even to miss.
I used to go around and round with myself. What caused me to interact with a person like this. What's wrong with me? To be honest? I still can't answer that question, other than somehow I got caught off guard. Something went wrong in my thinking. I can either live my life thinking that it might happen again, or I can learn now, remember the lesson, and move on. The truth will set you free
Being an empath and dating a narcissist is one of the worst situations one could be in. It’s very draining and chaotic
It doesn't get any better, whatever you thought it was wrong and odd it's much, much worse
@@tatianar.421 Tell me about it smh
The only way to deal with them is to leave 'em. They do not change. you can NOT change them. EVEN if you pray. It's all between them and their creator.
my mom is one and was the scapegoat and then I ended up dating one for a good while and now my boss is one. Im exhausted
Yep..married 23 yrs.BUT, HE FLIPPED on me at year 16....this is NOT who I married🙄.I commented above ...;)
“You’re dealing with an entitled emotional toddler in an adults body who is suffering from egotistical delusions of grandeur,” really really resonated with me. So so so accurate.
MY FATHER
"You are only rebellious in the eyes of those who can't manipulate or control you."
❤
Very well said
Exactly!
Exacly!
This comment hit me like a ton of bricks. Truth!
What ive found about dealing with a narcissist, as soon as you stand up for yourself, they immediately go into victim mode. After so long of being constantly belittled, talked down to, talked to like you're stupid, disrespected, talked to like a dog, you eventually can't stand it anymore and let them have it. As soon as you take up for yourself, they immediately flip and turn into the "victim that gossips" to turn everyone against you and act like you owe them something. You apologize all the time but NEVER will you see them apologize.
This happened to me and the only difference is that the narcissist already pushed their biggest support groups away and they tried to abuse me next but I’m like nah, bye. So they really don’t have anyone to gossip to except people that really don’t matter cause i don’t know them. The narcissist is currently trying to hoover me through forced interactions and unwanted gifts. 🎁
Its annoying to say the least.
I CAN RELATE TO THIS 100 %! Although I appreciate my ( friend) he does this to me almost everyday. I would rather live in my car than to have him treat me like that. I owe nobody any explanations. I will be honest, I have made a lot of mistakes, but it’s no one’s business to yell at me and treat me like a child. I will say this, that people who do these things to others ( it will come back to them), and I honestly feel bad for them, because of the feeling I get when I’m around them ( they will have to be around it 24/7. I can’t imagine having to deal with that constantly. It’s the only way they will learn though.
@@joanieking3077 You deserve to be respected and treated with dignity, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks about you. It's a basic human right in my opinion.
I relate to this soooo much!
yup, you nailed it! When you confront them about their not-so-subtle abuse, they present it as "concern for your well being", which serves two purposes: 1) you didn't appreciate their phony well intentioned efforts, which makes you an ingrate and them a victim and (2) they can further cast doubt on your mental health. I had a false friend for almost 25 years, let's just say that the saying "the benefit of the doubt" doesn't exist in my world anymore.
Don't play the game...If you run into a narcissist....RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!
I do. I run from all of the Arabic Speaking people. They have the worst character, and they are a bunch of trifling liars, and big troublemakers.
Yesss. I’ve gone no contact because of the constant abuse from a former “friend”. She has followed me to my gym in the early morning and I decided she doesn’t get to steal this from me so I still turned up and of course a new video on tiktok about me at the gym being a mean person was made because I Never said hi. She literally has no job and knew I went to the gym at 5am. She said if Im so called this nice person I put myself out to be on tiktok then why I don’t I say hi to her. Because I will not speak to someone who has twisted and manipulated every word I breathe so you can post more about me. She’s disgusting
@@user-fu4iw5dx3fthank you. I have. Restraining order will be done soon. I’ve been keeping records but now have changed gyms
@@Clothedwithgrace Praying for your safety! She gives off major stalker vibes.
Hear hear! Don't look back either!
Does anybody else notice that if you joke around with a narcissist, they take it seriously and get offended easily? Drives me nuts!
Freaking facts... They have absolutely no sense of humor.
100% correct…. They certainly havn’t .. I was with one for 37 years, can’t remember him ever making me laugh.
I sent mine a pic of my 2 20:09 fur babies today to which he responded why do I do that???? But he speaks so insulting to me . And idk y he always like seeing pics of my dogs before. But now he was so rude. He has been bombarding me today with how stupid I am and how I talk to much... Been so mean all day
I feel right now exhausted. I feel best down , rejected, so hurt.
They have the thinnest skin of anybody I ever encountered.
When the Devil can't get to you he sends a Narcissist! All Empath's will experience Narcissism constantly throughout their lives. Tamie speaks expertly on how to deal with them. Take note fellow sufferer's.
Yeah I'm wondering why I'm surrounded by narcissistics!
TRUTH 💯 It finally makes since. Thanks for sharing
Didn't know that. Isn't it because of the narcissistic mother? ...because she never valued you (me)?
Interesting was just wondering why my mother went through these relationships too, she used to ask do I have victim written on my forehead? Why am I a beacon?
Both the Devil and the Narcissist are evil! Exorcise them from your life and you will feel much better!
1. let them know what s behind their mask.
2. remain completely not reactive
3. be brutally honest, speak your mind
4.treat him with indifference
5. show him rejection for his opinions
6. exposure in front of others
7. unfavorable comparisons
8. ignore them, their messages, etc
9. get happy
10. establish and maintain no contact
Thanks so much for this great, useful, unique video. Blessings
Damn I guess only men are capable of being narcissistic
Or her*
Until the divorce is over.
@isabellairaca1669 Bless you and I am proud I finally did manage to do all the above at last. I hope to move on happily in 2023 and stay happy always minus this psychotic and abusive baggage. Thank you. Amen.
Don't have kids with one!
According to the video:
1. Let them know you're onto them
2. Remain completely non-reactive
3. Radical honesty
4. Treat them with indifference
5. Rejection
6. Exposure
7. Unfavorable comparisons
8. Ignore them
9. Get happy
10. Establish and maintain no-contact
👍
Then comes panic mode hoovering, rage or discard. Be prepared.
Thank you so much
@@Laura-nl8df in other words, progress #silverlining 😉
@@jonnyincognito899 it's been the shock of my life to see my life written by others. I questioned for 50+ yrs. All this adds up like basic math. Smdh!!
You can see their insanity but a true narcissist is in complete denial about their narcissism.
yep
I think I just learned in 20 minutes what 50+ professors couldn't teach me during college and graduate school. I'm so sick of feeling guilty. No more. Tamie, you have my deepest gratitude and love. Thank you for this.
Girl you are hitting it on the head . They hate strong minded women
Yes they do! LOL
Yes, narcissistic women hate strong minded women.
Yep.
Only men are narcissists?
Lol ..women talking about narcissism...the most narcissistic sex ...females ....fact...all you have to do is watch tick tock videos...
Ignore them. They hate that. Just be prepared for the narcissistic rage.
Also be prepared for them to bring in one or two reinforcements as it becomes 2 or 3 against 1. Treat the monkeys the same as the narcissist and self-protect until it passes, which it will.
This is so true, mines just hit with her car.
@@rooski4049 😲😱😲 OMG ! They are coo coo for coco puffs.
@@loveandhappiness8178 After just 3 months of being together. Plus this is my second one in life. I don't know why I keep attracting or being attracted to them..
Yes now mines is calling me mad and angry because I chose me and I’m no longer even responding. I’m actually not even angry. I feel a since of relief and happiness ☺️
I was married to the worst kind of narcissist. I’m a very vocal empath. We fought constantly. I never backed down to my ex nor his family. I don’t speak to him at all. My daughter finally figured out she shouldn’t talk to her father at all either. We’re both much happier and doing great!
This gives me hope for myself and my kids 🙏🏻🤍
You said enough than...stay clear now.
Tamie, I've gone "no contact" with my horribly abusive, narcissistic grown up son for almost one year now. Best peace I've ever had, only wish I'd done it sooner. He said he feels no love, nothing from me, doesn't want a relationship, was constantly arguing every second he was around me. Things escalated when he started shoving me, knew it would lead to assault. What makes things worse is that his narcissistic, psychopathic father is still constantly coaching him big time, even to the point where my son called me the worst vile names. So hard to walk away from your own child, but had to do this to preserve my own sanity. No turning back now.
OMG me too, I divorced my ex. I realized why he pressured me to work so much which I stupidly did thinking I was saving the marriage. He used that time to weasel in on my only son. I had a nightmare it feels like he died like his soul is gone we were so close until 4th grade. He spends all his time with friends I wish he finds his own path away from his father and can change.
I’m dealing with the same right now, my adult son is a toxic human and I’ve been supporting him and his twins for the past two years, my health has been suffering because of his verbal & mental abuse and his total lack of care or respect for me and my home and I’m so tired of being sick and tired-I want him completely out of my life but somehow still have a relationship with my grandsons and I am in therapy trying to learn how to like myself but struggling because I’m still stuck in this toxic environment 😞
I am going thru the same with my son! He hasn't been physical yet and God forbid the day he does!!
It hard when it's your child, but we need to think of ourselves!!
I was married to a covert narcissist for 15 yrs. I figured him out pretty early on. These are the tactics I employed daily. It drove him nuts. I have an exceptional ability to control my own reactions so this was my superpower over him. He still made life terrible but I eventually left him. When he finally figured out that I wasn't coming back this time he gave chase. It completely shattered his ego and he spent all his time trying to pull every tactic to get me back but I was 2 steps ahead of him and I anticipated everything. He tried to take our daughter and turn her against me. I cut him off short. He tried burning money but I already safeguarded myself. Begging, going to treatment, stalking...I got a restraining order. He was completely powerless. Mlife did a 180 and I've never looked back. Anyone who is afraid to leave a narcissist I tell you this, no damage yhey do can be worse than the turmoil they will unleash on you for the rest of your life. You will look back and realize it was the best decision you EVER made. Trust me, I know.
Good on you!
100% true!
All my respect to you!
I needed this..thank you
Good for you!
I needed to hear your story! Thank you for sharing. I am married to a covert now. Finding things for covert is hard.
What's funny is, sometimes a narcissist will create drama and when you react they will suddenly ghost you or be "non-reactive" because that allows them to play victim to your reaction. So yeah, it's a good idea to be non-reactive, but sometimes it's actually the narcissist that uses that technique to play victim.
Truth!
Woman too My ex
As in the N covertly prods & pushes buttons to exhaustion I’d necessary and will go deeper when finally the reaction anticipated for the length of it comes boiling from out of the target. You, me and stands there looking down his nose in utter disgust while packing their tools or what have you and walks away as If embarrassed. Sick twisted way out sh*t! All the flying monkeys primed all along will see his hero was.. “ Yup, she IS crAzy”, “HOW DO you LIVE WITH THAT”! And when ya get out yiu will be without a thing at all. No things or proofs even the All you have done managed. Nothing but for the belly your crawling away on. Months or years finding your legs or voice. perhaps your wings hang less low and your recognizing your pin reflection. Sometimes a flash of familiar looks back at you and you believe the smile. Healing does come even accounting for How Come you stayed! Educated you knOw now what this was and that’s empowering. Right until your being worked by one again. They are all over the place and I do the things I’ve learned. Don’t let them know you k ow, I’ll be careful, this narc is in my house bored to do plumbing or some other thing needing done. I got my armor on ever so discreetly…Not! No matter how much praise is given nor billets dodged, the end game is They loathe your strength because they so desperately crAve real confidence, YOURS they are hiding behind so they Take it by hook or crook. Almost Just as awful as the gas lighter IS, is trying to talk to those Who Have No Idea what trauma bonding with these and that abuse even is. Exacerbating and sadly feels like being dismissed in same manner. Ten years after … might need this class!
This is so very true. I have an ex who was exactly that. It was amazing three stuff she would do or create drama then tell everyone the narrative that I was the crazy guy and she would complete ghost me. It was nerve racking
@@andrewharris373 that's the best way for them to play victim. Then they tell people "yeah I had to cut them off." So they can make it seem like you're the bad guy. And they do it to anyone that confronts them or finds out the truth.
I am doing this at this very moment. I started on the 30th of January. Freedom is PRICELESS!!!
When a narcissist realizes that they are no longer charming, or able to manipulate you, they crumble inside. Love that you mentioned to confront them by letting them know you aren’t buying their self glorified superiority. I lived for 24 years with a classic narcissist. It took many more years to heal from the abuse. But what a glorious day it was when I became free from the narcissists web
"Letting them know that you aren't buying self glorified superiority." Amen! This video vindicates me doing the discard. The mask slips off doesn't it after a few years? This is the Crux of the issue and Tammy absolutely vindicates my decision to break free of a friendship with a male. I'm glad that you gave yourself the ticket out to jail you were at for a few decades too. (I'm glad to hear others like those are finally meeting their karma or fate or whatever you want to call it!)
Yep. Me 25 yrs.. the aftermath fallout was just about as hard as being in it
SUPERIORITY? THEY ARE NOT SUPERIOR. THEY R TOXIC.
The day i ended it i went straight to her parents and told them infront of her so they could here it from me and not her. I looked over to her and saw on her face she had a smurk while looking at the ground knowing that it really is over, before i could drive off she started telling me i had issues, said i was angry, said i was trying to control her… to which i tried to remember when i would ever try controlling her. She was shocked that i went to her parents to tell them myself.
Nn jk
"Entitled Emotional Toddler in an Adult Body". Loved that.
I was my mothers scapegoat child. I was 15 when I realized I would never earn my mothers love, which freed me from the burden of trying. It wasn't until I turned 40 that I discovered that she is a narcissist. I told my husband he had to get me far away from her. A year later, my husband, our 4 children, and I relocated across the country. I went no contact and haven't looked back. I'm happy to hear you say that it's driving her crazy.
Thats real eye opener when you see how they treat thier own children !
I never knew my dad as a child but it's been my whole life my whole life is been a narcissist and a bully to me
My narc has 3 children he had/has nothing to do with..I should've known just from that to run
1)let them know you are on to them: Don't tell them; show them
2)Remain completely nonreactive
3)radical honesty
4)treat them with indifference
5)Rejection
6)Exposure
7)unfavorable comparison
8)ignore them
9)Get happy and at peace
10)Establish and maintain no contact
Exactly
Currently practicing all these steps, and ive came back to my power. Which is what the narc wants from me.
@@OceanicPearlz1 how so?
I made the mistake of letting my ex know that I was aware of her being narcissistic. Less than a week later she kicked me out
Start the hell over!! It will hurt. Recovery always does. Now go be you.
This works so well ! When the narcissist asked how she could “make things better?” I said “ Not lie”. She turned away and never said anything else to me. Win win !
😂
lmao 🤣
❤😂
💪🏻😆
I'm in a legal battle with one now. In the last few months, the whole thing has turned into mostly just them fighting their ever-growing ever more absurd lies and desperation to have control of things that are not and never were theirs.
10% truth and 90% lie is still a lie even if I am admitting that the 10% part is correct. Same with, just because I asked for their advice in the past doesn't equal they have control of whatever it is in the here and now just because I took their advice that one time.
They seem to not get that.
Absolute. What you teach here is how i handle my dark-empath-narcicist sister. Seeing her, standing in front of me with her jaw flapping in the breeze, utter shock in her eyes, was indescribable.
Not done with malice. No glee on my part. She needed to finally hear it from the one she tried to torment; my entire life.
I feel sorry for her, but, i pray she will hear the still, small voice of God The Father, in the Name of Jesus, amen.
This sounds like my story as well...
All the advice on this video is great but once you’re also tired of the narcissist going crazy, start video recording them and tell them you’re doing so. Not only can you pull the video up later for them to see themselves, but they also won’t want you to show the world who they really are. I imagine it may not work on some and some might be violent but it definitely worked for me. When I start recording I repeat what they just said to me and ask them to explain themselves and give examples of what they are talking about.
True thy think there right your wrong know I am not perfeckt but I neaver deserved what I whent through you all so get them on face book thing there verey bright but not think there better looking not and just bad leir's, but ok when doing fore them and know matter what you do not good nough I am trying too take know notice,😊
I am 62yo widowed nurse and healthcare surrogate/ POA for a man who has no other family or friends left. My empathic self played into his narcissism and pity party. Bottom line, I feel sorry for him. He's now lying to others and accusing me of stealing from him after 8 years of caring for him. Dementia, bipolar, behavior disorder... in a VA funded nursing home. Starting today, I'm DONE. Thank you for being one of the people who fed ME tonight.
Wow! 😲 I'm going through same thing with my dad. I have POA and he says I stole the house from him. I own and being paying the mortgage and other bills for years... I'm done with him also. It's causing mental anxiety.
Emotional SOBRIETY:
S-Silence
O-Observe, don’t absorb
B-Breathe, breathe, breathe
R-Remain non-reactive
I-Ignore
E-Establish no contact
T-Total indifference
Y-You be authentically Happy with your life.
Thanks Tamie! ❤️❤️❤️
P.S. I love your blouse and necklace. You look absolutely beautiful and radiant.
Thanks, Love!! 🥰💕
What about *Alcoholic secret drinking that my Covert Narcissist "S.O." does -- how do I label that one & deal !?? 😵💫
Oh, I saved it:-), thanks. Interesting and helpful.
Knowledge and education is the key to success in life !!!
Not exactly. Intuition and heart play more important role, my humble opinion.
Thanks for the 10 ways to drive a narcissist crazy. My husband put me through heck. I literally thought I was going to die. After all of his, addiction to porn, cheating ways, lies, manipulation, emotional, mental and spiritual abuse, deception and uncaring ways, after only 1 year of marriage I had to kick him out. We are getting a divorce.
Bless your heart. I was married almost 20 years to EXACTLY what you just described and I truly did have a nervous breakdown that took me about 10 long years to recover from. But thankfully I did recover and moved on to a much better life!
Been here too!! First one 23 years! After being single for 9 years, got married to a man worse than first and he was a pastor who was full of so many lies and deceit.
I left one Friday, divorced and never looked back. Sad part is I went through so much abuse with him, I'm traumatized, but thank God for my counselor
@@cherylstrauel-xn3kb I can sadly RELATE! Prayers for your healing as well as mine! I'm in the thick of it now...trying to get out!
Good for you honey!! I know how it feels. You’ve got this 💪
👏
Hello everyone! I am in recovery from my narcissistic and abusive husband. We are separated and are in the process of divorcing. I am so happy to see this channel because I am always looking for more helpful information for my recovery.
Becareful..they lie and the judge believes them..as they too are narcissist
I have been using these recently on my fiance who is most definitely a full blown narcissist, he has been exploding in rage, just yelling threatening that he is gonna kill himself and his blood will be on my hands! All bc I told him the truth about how I feels
As tho he wears a mask around certain ppl but behind closed doors he’s completely a different person and that it feels as if I don’t even know him! I also try to compare his previous relationships with ours and how his behavior is what ended each and every one and how I am no different, he plays the why don’t u marry my ex’s since u always bring them up, he’s constantly twisting my words and ideas! It’s exhausting!
Have you considered breaking it off permanently, Amber? And possibly doing your own work to uncover and heal whatever it is that you carry that finds this type of person so attractive? 💕
I’m considering it more than I ever have before! Right now I have a wall up of defense up after this 4th or 5th or more in our 2 &1/2 year relationship bc I know the cycle and now of course it’s my fault for not being forgiving and trying to make it work, of course he is saying he has done and is doing everything I’ve asked him to stop doing, my thing is I know as soon as the wall comes down and I’m vulnerable again how long will his “good” behavior last?
@@amberrose2956 I am married to a narcissist just like the one you describe your fiancée to be. But, It took me 6 years to realize what kind of person he truly is. His love bombing was extremely strong, he’s a very charismatic person and always knows just the right thing to say. But, his refusal to go to therapy for *himself* _unless I go with him_ is what got me wondering why the heck that is. Because when around other people, he’s very much the charismatic man I fell in love with-but for me, going to therapy only made being at home _alone_ with him afterwards, him analyzing every little thing I said became so miserable that I realized it wasn’t worth it for me but rather he needed it for himself. But he will not go! Ever since I caught him 2 years ago, having pulled back the curtain on who he *truly is,* definitely has changed his entire persona with me when we are alone. Unfortunately, for me, for our marriage, I caught him doing things behind my back on multiple occasions, not cheating but definitely withholding information that had I been doing he would’ve gone absolutely nuts! Especially if I had ever been doing things I know he’s against-like cheating. His ex wife cheated on him for years, so yea, he has baggage but I foolishly thought even though he’d gone to prison for drugs for 3 years-I thought he was a changed man. A good man. But he fooled me. He fooled me for 5 years of our marriage that he was *indeed the man I fell in love with* but now I know my rose colored glasses, and being raised by narcissistic parents plus just being so naive and young that I was being lovebombed, _until_ I caught him doing drugs… Ever since then, ever since I pulled back the curtain on who he truly is, he’s been accusing me of cheating on him. I recently got a job after not having one for 6 years, and the amount of distrust he has displayed to me since starting that job-tracking my location, showing up at random times to “make sure my Jeep is parked in the lot” to the point of accusing me of cheating on him when he didn’t see my truck parked at work because I had parked in a different lot-instead of actually coming into the store he automatically assumed I was cheating on him and ever since then (1 month ago) my life has been absolute hell! And, I feel trapped. I’m happier away from him then with him. Then I caught him doing stuff again and I wish I didn’t even call him out on it because all it has done has added more stress, disappointment and anxiety-I have had mental health issues all my life and with narcissistic family members who think my husband is the “best thing to ever happen to me” I feel more stuck than ever. Even my coworkers brag all the time on how great a human being he is and I just smile and nod. Yesterday, after another fight with 0 resolution leaving me restless and my insomniac tendencies leaving me awake all night as he slept like a baby… he had told me that every woman he has been with has cheated on him…so “he _knows_ that I will eventually do the same.” And I have just kept thinking, “how can he wonder why every woman has cheated on him *IF this is how he treats them!”* But, unlike the women he was married to before me, I believe in God and I stand firm in my belief and I took a *vow* that I plan on sticking out even though my life is less than ideal. Cheating on him wouldn’t make things better for me-I’d still be the “bad guy” but not just to him but to everyone else and therefore he wins… Soooo I’ll just have stick to taking advice like the ones in this video! 🤷🏻♀️ Like, for instance, I have to stop reacting when he so clearly is baiting me for a reaction cause at this point I think he gets great joy from getting that reaction. Unfortunately, for him, I have always enjoyed being alone and honestly never thought I would get married or have kids, so…with God and learning to stand up for myself, not let him walk all over me, and rejecting his need to get a “fix” from getting a rise outta me, I will persevere, I always have. I’ve been a scapegoat for so long now, I’m basically a pro. And, this may sound terrible but I am way younger than he is, plus his extremely unhealthy habits *ARE* going to catch up to him so basically I’m just waiting for him to die at this point- I DO NOT WANT THIS LIFE FOR YOU! Please, please reconsider! You have gotten to see behind the curtain waaay before you’ve even become stuck in your situation. You *CAN* say no, I do *not* want to marry you. I know this is God, He’s showing you now who your fiancé truly is and letting you get out of what could be-down the road-a very awful life where you’re just waiting for him to die. Please, do what is best for you! Please, don’t let this man and the others in your life hold you back from actually living a wonderful life in the future where you’re happy every day with a man you love and who loves you back with 0 conditions. But, instead loves you *unconditionally.* Please, for all us spouses married to narcissists- Get away before you lose yourself to/in someone who will never _truly_ love you back!! You deserve better, I promise.
Please do not marry him! He will feel like he owns you and that he is entitled to knock you down every chance he gets. Everything he’s agreed to and been working on, will go out the window!!! It gets soooooooo much worse!! And divorcing a narcissist is horrid. Almost impossible. It won’t matter what you demanded or set up or arranged prior to the marriage. They see marriage as a “get out of jail free” card and never take accountability. They will secretly have everyone thinking you are the dumb pathetic fool for putting up with it. I waited 14 years and pretty much married him so he had health insurance. Worst thing I’ve ever done! I was completely destroyed. I never imagined I would end up in a situation like I’ve been in. I had so many people warn me and I was so naive. I thought for sure we made it past bad times and had an amazingly stronger connection. Yeah right!!!! I was a huge fool. Now I can’t get rid of him. Unless I give up my home (even though it’s a premarital asset) and pretty much disappear so I can try to be happy. I don’t even want to think about trying again with someone new at this moment because I’m so beat down emotionally. I finally remembered who I used to be and that I deserve so much better!! Please PLEASE be careful and really remember to put yourself first before you marry this guy. They NEVER change. It only gets a hundred times worse. I wish so bad I listened to everyone that warned me.
Why are you still considering marrying this person? No blame, but, you see the behavior and are still considering marrying him.. 🤔🥴
I’ve learned over time that cutting them off from your energy is the best thing. No contact. There is no reasoning with these people and they will just turn it all around on you and be disrespectful to your feelings while expressing. I’ve cut friends, family and exes like this. Was always polite but just basically said no more, verbally and energetically
That’s my motto, disconnect
I really wish I can go no contact....I'm really good at that. The unfortunate part is that we have 4 year old child together. Now that I've served him with divorce papers he's trying to attach to my 16 year old son and quote "make sure that he knows he's loved within the context of a masculine energy", clearly trying to use my son as a pawn.
Love your technique.
You are so right. It takes will power..but it works. I did that to an ex boyfriend. Broke up 14 years ago. Cut him off completely almost 10 years ago when I met my husband. This was great day: my husband took me to my favorite restaurant one afternoon several years ago as we were building our new house and guess who was there eating by himself? He saw us and nervously came to our table . We were nice and receptive. I invited him to join us and he did. He drank a gallon of margaritas. He also learned just how happily married I was and what a great and loving husband I have. My husband and I shared all the good and positive news going on in our lives with him. Although my husband didn't really know the man, he treated him like an old friend. I could tell that my ex bf hated every bit of it. (Of course I loved that) He couldn't believe that I moved on, left him behind and found a happy, loving relationship. (His life and relationships still sucked!). But I was nice and kind to him... indifferent. He had zero power over me and knew it. BTW...fast forward a few years...at the beginning of this year, I got a random, out of the blue text from him..."Happy New Year...I was dreaming about you..." I just smiled to myself and then walked over to my husband and said, "I love you!! You are the best thing that ever happened to me!!". And quietly, I thanked God for His blessings.
@@juliedepaolo9971good for you!! It is funny how narcs pop up suddenly once you have moved on and living your best life full of love and positivity. Losers 😅
I was with a Narcissist for 6 years, and had no clue. Everything was my fault, my self-esteem was ruined. I never felt like I was good enough...I needed to hear this!
9 yrs and 4 kids.
18 years with a Covert Narcissist, I left 4 times, last time was No Contact. She hacked my email and was messaging me through my own email. Imagine you get an unopened email from your own email address. And someone else is talking to you. Well that time she conned me into coming back, now 8 more years went by, each year getting worse, she now wants divorce!!!
I guess I'm such a nothing in her mind, she can no longer feed off me. Whoever the next guy up is, LOOK OUT.
I'm so happy that person is out of your life now! Remember that *you* are awesome and that you're worth so much. It can be hard to recover your own self after going through so much abuse. Keep living your life and being the original you 🙂
10 years for me. Took me a lot longer than that to recover!
Accuser of the bretheren....male or female for harm, whether correct or incorrect, said strategically.
Tell your narcissist, if your phone doesn’t ring, it’s probably me.
Thank you for this Tamie, I grew up as the scapegoat of a narcissistic mother. I had to eventually go no contact, and a few years later she died. Over the years I’ve learned how to deal with what was done to me and now that I’m in the “Get Happy/Live your Best Life” part, here comes my sister, the Golden Child, turning into my mother and blaming me for my life being pretty good and hers being kind of empty due to her acting just like my mother! One more text outburst from her and she’s out, as this is not my first rodeo!
Me too, I've got a horrible narcissistic mother. I went no contact for 5-6 years, had to call her 2 days ago for something and she was worse than ever...
Dad is my narcissist. His girlfriend, the flying monkey/enabler, isn't any better: both expect me to put up with his garbage. I don't. The truck for the Dumpster just came by. Enough said!
I’ve always been the scapegoat for my family
I’ve recently recovered enough to realize that I am an empath and I am surrounded by narcissists
I’m kind of losing my mind
But I’m also shocked at how easy it is to remove myself from them without emotion
It’s empowering and even though it is sad, I am happier
Weird
Same for me
Same for me as well...
Unfortunately, same with me.
Hi. Yes this is all absolutely right and true. I know because l've used these strategies and they worked for me but l am not married to the person. What on earth can the partner do when all that happens when they show any sign of strength and happiness provokes a vile aggressive response to the point of verbal and physical attack. If that doesn't get the required response,money or alcohol, the accusations of historic sexual abuse become so real in the narcissists mind that they appear totally convincing. I now know this has been used on previous partners who were not married, didn't have children and they escaped. The mother also behaves much the same and virtually moved in and tried every day to destroy the marriage. The partner got sucked in in defense of his wife and baby, managed to protect them and got the mother to leave by holding them to a written behaviour contract. Now years later, years of emotional abuse. From the partner, the mother and child are back in contact via phone and internet and they are constantly undermining the partner who ultimately buckles and complies in order to keep the peace around the child. It is not sustainable and the abused adult is showing signs of severely damaged mental health, stress anxiety, low self esteem and a recent declaration of suicidal thoughts due to feeling totally trapped.
So rip the band-aid and you'll find peace?
I'm scared. I feel like I'm the crazy one.
Is no contact the best way?
My now ex suffered the burn of being ignored and rejected, what added insult to injury was that they lost the game on home ground, they were still drunk from the high of devaluing and discarding me...when they realized that I'd gone silent and disappeared. It was time for plan B ( hoover), I responded by letting them know that I wasn't happy with how they'd treated me...then reverted back to ignoring and rejecting. Denied them the opportunity to do any damage control (HOOVER & LOVE BOMB). It was GAME OVER !!!
32 years of cheating, lies, disrespect, name calling, deceit, and anger. 32 years of never saying sorry or taking any responsibility. 32 years of blaming and turning everything against me….
Same
As an only child, I survived a perverse narcissist covert mother, I was the scapegoat… Without watching your video, I did by intuition exactly what you recommend 😂 Zero contact for about 3 years, and she still texts me insults and nonsense once in a while, I almost never answer and when I do, I make a joke that I know will drive her mad for no taking seriously 😂
Ignore them.
This will drive them
Insane
It's true 😀
More challenging when there's a child involved
@@lize5755 Do what works for you.
I love to turn the narcissists plots on themselves. They get really frustrated and you ask them why they’re so upset yet they can’t tell you because they have to keep their plot a secret. So they’re upset and can’t react because the delusion that nothing was actually happening in the first place according to them. It’s so funny.
Exactly then they run away when they know u know their games lol
@@moeak7935 I just feel dumb after dating a narcissist who is addicted to dating apps and is (by her own words, an emotional whore) im sorry for the language but it was her own words. but yeah. i feel dumb and drained ...
The games are endless.
All my interactions with a narc feels like game of chess. What do they think they're winning? Or losing?
Also, the weird habit they have of speaking in the 3rd person is so disconnected. I grew up feeling like my life was a fun house mirror.
Ive learned that not responding causes my sons mom to then back peddle and proceed to call me a robot and a child. Lol they really do grasp at straws when you have had enough.
Thank you. I wrote and practiced these words as my first step to getting out. Every time she tried to manipulate me I would say “There is nothing you can say or do to convince me or manipulate me into doing what you want.”
I’m on day 22 no contact. I’ve tried to use a few of these tactics over the past year or so. He didn’t like when I deliberately ignored something he was bragging about or trying to ‘impress me’ with 🙄. He’d say ‘well.. did you hear me?’ I asked him one time ‘why do you poke me? Why do you try to upset me?’ He said ‘because it’s fun, I like trying to get a reaction out of you’. 🤯. WTF! I could write here for hours. I have sooo many stories. I’m happy to say I’m 10000% done!!! No looking back. Buh byyyeee
They fear to rejection
They fear to expose
They fear to abondant
They fear to death
They fear to ignorance
They fear to your success
They fear to your happiness
They fear to loniness
I think i unknowingly destroyed a narc. He really went insane and threw all the things he did with me back at me, trying to cause doubt in myself.
"The truth has a vibrational frequency 1000 more times powerful than any lie ever will." Love this!
Julie. I was born an empath and apparently I've been a magnet for narcissists. I'm so over it. And I'm getting the knowledge to defeat all narcissists
Me too!
Me tooo
I think the biggest one is to REMAIN HAPPY. They can’t stand when you just keep moving on with your day.
This is good. I was dating a narcissist who bordered on violence. I didn't see it at first because I was naive and gullible. I finally had to leave to save my own sanity and sobriety. At first, i tried to maintain a friendly relationship which was vehemently rejected. I started talking about what my relationship with him. In fact, even though i was only with him for 8 months, it affected me for over 20 years. After a while, I started hearing stories of what he was doing to other women. A couple of them gave up their sobriety due to the abuse. currently have to see him from time to time. I do not acknowledge him. He does not exist. Although his violence has been limited to doors and walls, he is very dangerous, especially to women.
Mark Manson wrote a long time ago that "you can never be happy if your happiness depends on other people". That's basically total opposite of narcistic worldview.
There are 3 ways to kill a Narcissist and that's by doing the following 1, ignore them they hate that. 2, change yourself so that you get noticed more, and finally start doing stuff that makes you happy by doing the things you love. Doing these 3 things will destroy the narcissist.
So true thanks 😊
Completly true
I'm sure my x hasn't enjoyed my 22 years of happiness after getting divorced he resorted to destroying my relationship with my youngest son when he had to move back home. It didn't end well I kicked my son out bc he disrespected me and his step father exactly like his father did. Narcs need to get on with their lives they can't... not my problem. I didn't know I was that important 😂
Not saying it doesn't hurt losing my son no other way only God and narcs can help themselves
What are u suppose to do if u have kids w him bout ignoring him
27 years of dealing with a narcissist!! In March it was over! I’m in such a better state mentally. This video is SPOT ON! Every time this person says something negative or lie about me…I smile, because I KNOW FOR SURE it’s their insecurity speaking. It’s about them, not me. God is Good🙏🏿
22yrs for me. Lol
26 here
22 for me, too. March was a big month, I guess. 😂
Are you in therapy? 27 years dealing with a narcissist 😢
I'm still with mine 20 years this past June was in the process of leaving and then he got diagnosed with head and throat cancer and it all started over again and now he's gone their treatment and is in remission and it's back to his always and I just don't know how much more I feel like I'm going insane
Thank you for helping people dealing with the narcissist It's very hard.You're right, stay away from the narcissist.As far as you can and don't engage with them and Make your own self happy.
At 61, I now realize my mom is a Narcissist and it explains so many questions I had my whole life. My mom was always detached, but put up an amazing facade as a great mom and wife. I never told anyone about the way she treated me at home. I was so close to my dad because he was the nurturing parent. And he was a Saint for putting up with her. Don’t know how he did it. My poor dad. I believe my mom was jealous of my close relationship with my dad. Very sad. At this later time in my life, I have chosen to not speak with my mom after her last full blown senseless attack on me. Just can’t and won’t take it anymore. What a shame. But I know my mom will never change and listen to me. Was physically making me ill.
....sad but true , my mom beat on me out of hating my dad " i was dads favorit " . she was a narcissist a total abuser. the person I should have trusted I feared the most in life .... because of her behavior tords me I never could bring myself to have fun happy times with females . all my friends were guys and treated me with respect "how awesome it was! '
I went through the same with my mom. It was months until it hit me that I was actually grieving the loss of her. Like she died. She did die (in my life). It’s hard but you’ll get to the other side and be happy that the toxicity is gone from your life. Only then, do you truly heal. It’s been 10 years for me. But she made me hate my dad and now after knowing all her lies about him, I have him back in my life. One loss one gain.
I would add: Surround yourself with brutally honest but kind people who truly have your best interests at heart. You need them to help you "sit back" and let the narc do their thing and implode. You need a sounding board to remind you that YOU are the sane one! Not the gaslighting narc!
Surround yourself with good people!
Agreed! If you don’t other people will be easily manipulated and fooled
Psychologically speaking. There's a tactic that everyone should apply t deal with the narcissist which is called DEEP Tactic.meaning
Do not: Defend
Engage
Explain
Personalize.
Try to keep as far as you can from him or her.
Wrote this down!!
Thanks for the video, comments and experiences. My son is narcissistic and verbally abusive to me. I love the d.e.e.p
Best strategy every time; no nagging, whining, begging....
Being Happy and Grateful is the Best way to handle people like this… I’m so busy focusing on my Blessings I have no time or Energy for Toxic Folks 🤪
Tamie, your videos have been the best thing for me ever in dealing with my son and husband. You are amazing, and I feel so blessed that you share your knowledge to your viewers.
The narcissist's HATES the truth, because the truth HURTS!!! Thank you so much for this AWESOME information! 🌝
You're welcome, Rhonda!! 💕
Big time
One of the most effective ways to fight back, if you will, IS THE TRUTH. {my 95 yr old mother STILL says: "Do anything you want... just DON'T LIE TO ME!} I'm in a place with my grown daughter who is, perhaps, wired like her dad {weaponized by him as well}... my one & only X after 30 yrs of marriage. AND has become absolutely brutal when faced with the TRUTH or even the THREAT of exposure via the TRUTH which causes her to go to ALL NEW depths of destruction.
The problem I encounter IS: she is the mother of my Grandchild. My daughter has stopped allowing me to see the child. SHE thinks: {knows} AhHAH! OUCHEE!! I have caused YOU pain for the rest of your natural life!
Her young daughter keeps secrets no child should have to keep. And in keeping the child isolated, her secrets are safe forever. ???
I am simply astonished at her ever evolving skills at lying, distorting, deceiving and even her ability to "SET UP" a situation where she can discredit me is sometimes terrifying.
What I've come to know is what I and my Grandchild are being subjected to is nothing less than, YES... elder AND child abuse which very few seem to see or understand.
I feel STUCK even though I am a very strong person with strong moral values and as a rule, will not tolerate any form of abuse.
I've been told: "Whatever you do, do not make yourself the villian in this. Let her be the villian." The child is smart and can see what is going on."
I can only pray that the brainwashing she's subjected to will NOT stick with her and the 1st 6 yrs of her life with me will be burned into her memory.
This is a "rough row to hoe"... I do not wish this on my worst enemy. May TRUTH and PEACE be your guide.
Absolutely!!! 😊😊😊😊👍👍👍👍
@@Seekdnb thats exactly my mom bc her narcs actions is from from her own mom (grandmother)
I had perfected the blank stare by age 12. It drove my narc mother INSANE.
She already was, if she was like mine. 😂
I would love to do that, but he wont fulfill my needs than. He also then Ignores me If I dont reply to his toxic abuse. He first tries to start verbal fight than later call me crazy and Fulfill simple need like Cloths, food , etc.. and Blame me
Poor little you...
I had a very rich friend who I would do side work for and he started to pull all the narc nonsense. He would outright say things like" you owe me"and " I'm a opportunist of people in dire need ". Just a very pathetic person. After distancing myself from him for awhile I saw him at the bar and he TOLD me to come over to his place to do some work for him. I calmly and with a smile said no and walked off. It destroyed his night. He was mad mad mad. Followed me into bathroom to give me a piece of his mind. Again I just smiled and said nothing. He was RED FACED MAD. It was so good. This was 10 years ago before finding any of these videos. Thanks for the channel. Your saving people. 😊
❤I'm recovering from narcissistic abuse. I've left the situation
Well done you for leaving, Daisy! 💕
My narcissistic boss has mistakenly thought that she’s been the first narcissist in my life; my ex prepared me well to deal with her. Aw. Poor thing. Bye, Felicia!
Exactly the same here
Wonderful. I just did this with my boss in front of HR. I did all 10 unknowingly and gave my 1 month resignation. It was so freeing. He can’t sit still. I literally said whatever. You can no longer verbally abuse me anymore. I will quit and do an exit interview so corporate is aware of what has occurred. Mic drop! Never felt better and took my power back: he hates it and tries everyday to trigger me. I refuse to respond.
good on ya!!!
Queen
Legend. ✊🏾
I really need help in this area!! My wife of 12 years is very much a narsasist and loves getting reactions outta me... just several weeks ago, Lord showed me that I was giving her power over my actions... day later I told her I was done playing her games and not falling into this reactive trap of hers
@@ryandeweese363 best you can do is learn a lot about how to deal with them
The more you learn the better empowerment you'll have.
It's harder for men to accept it and find help. If y'all have kids just brace yourself.
I wish you the best.
I told a narcissist I was truly DONE with them and blocked them on social media but left him unblocked in my phone. He would try to text me every once in a while “being nice” (covert narc) like nothing ever happened. My first response would be to say “hey how’s it going? I don’t have this number in my phone, who’s this?” even though I knew damn well who it was. When he would respond with his name I’d go ghost and not respond back. 😂 I got such a kick out of it because I knew it messed with his fragile ego that I in fact didn’t want anything to do with him anymore and that my kindness and empathy was no longer extended to him specifically.
Narcissism with explosive anger like my soon to be ex husband is something you have to be careful with. It's terrifying...
I am a pretty strong independent woman. I have dealt with some hardcore full blown narcissist. One being my father, a landlord, and quit a few friends. One thing I know for sure is no matter how well you can shut a narcissist down and be indifferent when it comes to relationships it is the constant toxic environment that is what ends up breaking you. Best to just get the hell out and making sure to pay attention to the red flags no matter how minor avoid going there again
The only solution (unless you have inescapable commitments like kids) is to leave. People who attract these types repeatedly need to look at themselves and ask what it is about them their draws them to become a supply so much
Perfectly said…I lost everything after blinking one day. My question will always remain: why the hell did he have to choose me?
So wasn’t my ex “wife”
@@tamarabrunozzi8482 They choose nice people. But there were always flags we ignored or excused. Learn to see the flags.
You can add neighbors. Especially if your property "boundaries" abutts theirs.
Morrissey even said, "There are no friends in modern life."
Where do we go to find people that WON'T gaslight, project, deny, and or rationalize anything you bring to them? The majority of society is like this. So how the fuck can i ever be encouraged to trust anyone that has a propensity to be so toxic? It's a pandemic, this Narcissism. I don't think there is anyone left that could ever be transparent and sincere. Eventually, people do end up playing these emotional chess games with you. No matter how much you care and love them and they love you in return.
Humans are highly overrated.
UNDERRATED COMMENT
@@TarzanHedgepeth Thank you
I so agree with you, Channel Zero. I’m pretty much a hermit after dealing with a narc father, a narc ex, and recently a narc daughter. A daughter who straight up attacked in a rage telling me that “she was the most wonderful person that she knew, and that no one in the family treated her the way she deserved to be treated.” I’ve summoned up the will,and educated myself enough to know no contact is what I need and deserve in my life. Where are all the mature, emotionally stable people in this world? Narcissism is a pandemic.
My Aquarius self is about to kick in on him and then he will find out that I will always choose my happiness over anyone… way to many men in this world to deal with all this ish .. I’ve never even studied this topic until meeting him …
You have no idea how helpful these points are. My father-in-law is one of the most destructive narcissists on the planet. He’s not physically abusive, but emotionally and verbally abusive. For some reason, I am his target because I am an emotional person. From the moment I met him, I had the mindset of “respect your elders.” He has blown through over a $1 million in chase of a multi-million dollar yacht that he is going to purchase for himself and our family (not very big) to find small islands to spread Christianity. He has called me an evil, demonic mother. Because his words hurt me so bad, and no communication and all tactics you explain hurt my husband and his brother and mother. Everyone thinks I am being mean or rejecting him and everyone just wants peace. They don’t want him blowing up. I am the one who seems to blow him up most. I’m in a position of walking a fine line. No one will call him out as a narcissist even though a psychiatrist from the Mayo Clinic diagnosed with NPD, bi-polar disorder, depression, and anxiety. His a walking wreck. His 80 years old, and as the psychiatrist told us years ago, the narcissism is only going to get worse, and it will affect the family more than him by far. So thank you!
I’ve been attending a codependent class each week. As I heal, I see my husband squirm more and more as I have become a non reactive, logical adult. Not a scared child anymore, reclaiming my light. I see the immature brat he is and am not threatened by his tactics. Thank you for reminding us about our physical safety. I’ve been in that situation with a violent ex. I got away.
Already becoming non reactive and honesty
“Immature brat” is too nice girl! 😂
We have an over abundance of narcissists in our society
I've started doing this to all the women that do silent treatments for attention and reactuons, ah works like a charm
This lady is the bomb 💣 😍 🙌
The truth is like flashing a full-sized mirror in their face! They don't want to see their true reflection.
I just learned the hard way that my pastors wife is a Narcissist ☹️
I wondered why things happened the way they do at our church, and it’s crystal clear now☹️
Gonna try to incorporate some of your tips for my own sanity ❤️
That is so sad… sorry you have to deal with that at church… Good luck using these tools- you got this!
A different church?
Last weekend, I introduced my children (7 and 4) to their grandmother, my Mum and their Aunt, my Sister and their Cousins for the first time in their lives. The narcissist in my life's spell has been broken and my family is united. My isolation is finished and the light of truth shines bright on lives beyond mine before it was too late. Thank you!
My ex girlfriend was a narcissist. 2 years was enough for me. She used to manipulate me in almost every part of my life. I get rid of her and now I feel free! Freedom is the most important thing people. Don't negotiate your freedom with anyone!
Amen.
Never truer words spoken❤
I did the "don't react, don't fight back" bit instinctively. I always felt she was trying to provoke me into losing control and doing something stupid and I wasn't falling for that.
Omgosh! Yes! Mine was trying to get me to physically attack her but it wouldn’t work and she would end up being the attacker. If I did not live with the attacker at the time, it’s my boyfriends mother the grandmother to my child yay. Don’t worry once we leave here I’m never bringing myself or my child around her ever again but in the meantime while I’m stuck I can only do what I can to protect us, I even called her out on it and told her that she can try all she wants to get me to physically attack her but that I was mentally stronger than her mentally stronger than she will ever be and she is not worth losing my son over. I have audio of her literally physically attacking me with my child in my arms and I still to this day wish I would have press charges but given that I was living in the house with her her husband and her child which is my partner I was in a fucked up situation. And I still am. So I completely understand the whole provoking you to try to get you to do something stupid she wants to make it seem like it’s you and not her.
@@heatherc6512 be strong. And GTFO as soon as possible!
i came home for the holidays all i did was walk around the house and trying to talk reason to my mom all i heard from her was dont doctor phil me! im not ur girlfriend im your mom! how dare you talk to me with those tattoos! o yea well dad shouldnt have let you in because i didnt have the chance to lock the booze up from u! all i said was of course🤣 she was dumb founded
I did this throughout my own childhood. It's a dangerous strategy in that case. B/c it became a funny game to insult me way more than my more aggressive sister (b/c she was easy. He only wanted that drama every so often). I did all of this to protect my mother from drama and pain. Even though she was a happy flying monkey that ALLWAYS gasslit to protect herself. She got the heat previously before the kids, and she was too comfortable being left more alone. It's not a great strategy, if you want to end up with self-love and confidence as an adult, let me say.
Lol, I feel this. She would also set me up for failure by actually promoting me doing them. She would then use it against me during mood swings. She would consisted tell me how much compassion and empathy I lacked when I wouldn't react.
As somebody who was married (for too long!) to a man with a narcissistic-paranoid disorder, my advice to any woman in my place would be: RUN! Get out of the relationship as quickly as possible, because you are otherwise WASTING YOUR LIFE TIME! You will NEVER EVER "heal" or "change" a narcissist! Promise!
@@lakotasky4733 Indeed. As I learn about the Jezebel Spirit I become increasingly thankful that Jesus unclouded my eyes and removed me from that hell.
The healing process gave me a relationship with Jesus, and allowed me to see my childhood wounds.
my boyfriend and i were playing a game, and in the game one of the questions was, “what advice would you give past me?” his answer was RUN.
i’ve tried to leave and it hasn’t worked and now i feel trapped and like there’s no way out.
I know exactly what you are saying. It is like a pure hell having one as a neighbor,; so, I could only imagine what it must be like to live with one.
I just came across your video but I did unknowingly used the path of exposing my partner. Been in a bad relationship for 10 years, had left my country to be with him and my child accompanied me then suddenly this man decides to dump me with no proper reasons and I came back with a broken heart and no money since then he kept in touch with no remorse and I kept entertaining him as I felt I was responsible the guilt sucked in and the game continued for years. I have just acknowledged that he is narcissist and found the truth of getting rid of him. I was always guilting that because of me maybe we are not together till I found the truth of his personality and I confronted and exposed him, I decided to not entertain his verbal abuse and random calls, I frustrated him to an extend that he decided to call it off because I was not giving in and not getting manipulated. Now I’m on my way to be healed from this pain and I believe God will help me. I claimed this scripture daily, Resist the evil and the devil will from from you” and he did
I did this with my brother last night, when he showed up unannounced to my apartment because I was not responding to him. I don't know exactly what I said, but I remember telling him that he spends way too much time concerning himself with my life. That he should instead realize he is just as flawed, he should look into his own mental health issues not mine. That if he wants to have a relationship with his sister then we can both go to family counseling, as my therapist recommended. I came back to the living room and he had high tailed it out of here. I will continue to hold him accountable. No counseling no relationship.
Now whenever a narcissist "tries" to hurl an insult at me in front of an audience, I throw shade consisting of the best humor/truth-based one-liners that get a chuckle from the crowd. I can see the narcissist almost fold into themselves right on the spot. It took years to master this and I now consider it to be a talent of mine.
I need you in my life!!! I just moved on with my life and ignore the stupidity! I don’t defend myself because we are not married anymore! I know the truth and my faults! I accept my faults and work to improve me and only compete with myself and who I was yesterday not his new supply and that drives them nuts! Know your worth! Rendered powerless!
I’m a truth teller and speak my mind that might explain while my ex hated me and my own father wow revelation
Excellent! Glad to hear this! ❤️
GOOD 😁
20+ years...it's mind blowing to watch this.
The cutting off of energy only happens when you learn not to respond. Stay in your power.
Boundaries. Rest. Time away. Find your peace.
13 years for me.
And I am having the same reaction. She hid her ways behind alcohol and it was every weekend 2 bottles a night of wine and rage or intense sex and passing out. I don't drink. I always believed she was an alcoholic and this is what I am dealing with....but the sudden disappearance and finding another man in the picture has changed everything. She even cut communication to our kids.
@@camelo1495 ... holding space for you. I am getting better at setting boundaries. I am learning to not respond. Taking back my power. Trying to fix my people pleasing issue.
Thank you for sharing this space with me.
Fortunately i have the ability to cut off from ppl. very quickly and without regret including family , / . I will say bec.of all the craziness i was going through with him and never had experienced anything like this , i began to fall into the trap and i began to question my own mind / One day it was like a spiritual sign " to get out now " through my meditation / I got in my power , I assured him he would call me / saying no i wont , but he did . . . I love my power
100%
I just figured out my younger brother is a narcissist. Utterly heart breaking. It's been a hellish year until I came to my conclusion.
Thanks so much for this video. I was about to get involved in a relationship with someone and a situation arose where I knew immediately she was a narcissist and then this video shows up! Purely magical! I love everyone. God Bless you!
Often I’ve found that asking the narcissist questions works miraculously. “What do you mean by that?” Or “Are you ok? You seem upset.” All the while, you remain calm and un-triggered. Being disinterested in what they are doing or have done is great. If you care about them, you won’t engage in their games.
Yes, true! I did that with my horrible parents recently. They're so confused. Dumb shits. I quit talking to those absolute losers. 👍✌️😀
They cannot answer direct questions like that. It’s almost comical. Lol I dated a narc and he would hang up when he was told something he didn’t like and then be like my phone did it by a mistake. I noticed the pattern so when he did again I said why is that when I said xyz you hung up on me? He tried to lie and say his phone did it accidentally blah blah. So I said no you asked me xyz and I said xyz and after that you hung up, why did you hang up? He would not answer the question he just got silent. I said noted, that will be the last time you hang up in my ear because you are blocked and I blocked him. He tried to reach me through email, and I would not respond. Tried to reach me through my sisters and they would respond “blocked” and block him. Eventually he left me alone.
I had to swoop in and save my daughter from a narcissist. I'm an empath, 1st thing I told the guy, (you're the lucky one in this relationship, not her). After he pushed her into a psych hospital, abdandoned the apartment, & stole her dog. I thank God I was raised by a premo narcissist. It prepped me to save my 25yr old, who wasn't raised to develop these skills.
My advice, let the narc know you know what they're doing. If they try to isolate their prey (like he tried) there's at least a knowledge of you know what they're up to.
Radical Honesty 💯
Lol I used to tell mine I'm only responsible for my own actions and won't take responsibility for his, then I'd ask him if he was done with his "little temper tantrum" and ready to be a "grown up". Shortly after he started calling me his worst nightmare 😂😂
They hate it if you are smiling and telling them that you are live an Awesome life. They don’t like it. 😂
14 years with someone I know now is a narcissist....I have completely lost myself trying to please this person...for YEARS....time to take my control (and my life/happiness) back....thank you so much for sharing. ❤
Go for it you deserve happiness and ownership to your life. Take care ❤️.
The narcissist and I belong to the same support group. Zero contact would mean sacrificing a group of women I care about. Giving her the cold shoulder at the meeting while I happily socialize with others backfired. I was happy as could be eating my birthday cake and this narcissistic women verbally assaulted me put her face right in my personal space and refused to step back. I had to yell out for help, because the narcissist began asking if I will hit her if she keeps refusing to get out of my face…
Need advice on how to keep my other mutual friends that the narcissist and I share
I have done this over and over. they then change their MO,.tell you what you really need to hear, to draw you back in and make you think they have changed.
They havent!
I think being non-reactive is the true meaning of “turning the other cheek.” ✅
Allll of this!!! This is exactly how it played out for me. I was soft before I got the clarity. As soon as I recognized it for what it was….GLOVES OFF!!! I knew all that truth was overwhelming. I knew I had succeeded when it didn’t even attempt to Hoover me. I broke down EXACTLY what it is and everything that is isnt……such as human. I got to tell it what a bum loser devil in the flesh it is. That was my closure. I KNOW it hates my guts now and that thought alone brings me such gratification🙂
Yes, I have done all of that and I have to still deal with her because of our 16yr old daughter.
The blank stare and silence with slightly raised eyebrows works well. It says I'm not buying any of your BS.
When it escalated, I just had to put it plainly. "What I am doing, is not about you any more, it's about me. It's in my timeframe, my scope and my boundaries".
I'm loving the freedom of living on my own. Now, as an empath I am helping my healing by trying to help at least one person every day. It makes me feel good and helps them.
You wouldn't believe how I got berated by her for pulling over to make sure everyone in a car accident was OK. I still do not understand that level of a lack of empathy.
Oh and I showed her pictures and achievements of my new girlfriend (well, not quite, but on track), who is everything that she isn't and tried to be. (not enough to identify her). That must have burned!
If the ex hadn't treated me like dirt and used up all of my resources, and maybe came along to one or two of my friends activities, it might be different. If she wasn't too busy sleeping in on Christmas mornings to get up and watch our daughter opening presents (which I had to buy) it would be different. If I didn't have to buy all of my own birthday presents ... etc. etc. Now she's crying that I'm gone (my decision). Bad luck baby. I'm just sorry it took 17+ years of my life and a sexless relationship for at least 8 years (never married).
The only time I've shed a tear, is for the care and love that my friends have shown throughout. Words like, "You have a friend for life", "We've got your back buddy" and much much more. I am privileged with such amazing friends to get me through a trying time.
I cannot thank you enough. Ive literally been crying myself to sleep. Struggling to fix this relationship that is sucking my soul. Thank you for showing me that I simply have to remove myself from it. 🙏 stay safe..
Yes same for ME its my own daughter doing this between me and my wife!
With who
I pray you reclaim your power and learn that it wasn’t your fault that someone didn’t know how to love you right. Cry and feel what you need to feel in order to heal ❤️ love-Paris-
I am right there. Crying myself to sleep. Still hanging on to hope that he will change and come back. I know it will never work. And I can’t believe that I just can’t detach myself!
@@cristinasanchez-torres2163 hi, I’m going through exactly the same thing. I walked away 2 days ago. But I’m hurting terribly and miss the side of him that I love so much. But that side isn’t real. The unkind nasty side is the real person. And I hate that side.
"They need a target," I've always thought of this facet in the following term: Narcissists need a rag-doll...someone they can rag on, WITH IMPUNITY; which (i believe) is why family members tend to be such targets/rag-dolls. As though being family means being property.
I did a complete unfazed look when she was yapping like a chihuahua. She freaked out when my eyes was doing the 'talking'😳 🤣🤣🤣
I just listened to your first video. My son, newly married and suddenly expecting with in the first 9 months of marriage has gone “above and beyond” to manipulate, exclude, ridicule, try to separate my relationship with my son and is now trying to make certain that I am not a part of my grandsons life… very little of the narcissist describes the mother daughter in law relationship and I feel an incredible pain with the power she holds. It’s taken me this long to realize the extent of her manipulation… now what
My son in law is the exact same way. My daughter is not strong enough to even see it or choose not to.
Sensitivity and kindness are strengths. Never doubt it.
Yes...mostly true except some people are so sunk it would have no effect on them...and would probably even cleverly and insidiously use it against you.
You’re right, Richard! And we have to be very careful to not use those powers against ourselves. We need to remain vigilant lest our kindness towards another results in harm against ourselves.