I don’t know how you pooped but in my auto play, but as a therapist with serious mental illness, this really makes sense. I am very skeptical of the wellness and self-help industry (in general but I am American). We are not projects, we are not built to endlessly self improve. Also a note on affirmations as a psychodynamic/internal family systems informed therapist- I find them counteractive. Our negative core beliefs are deeply ingrained and our symptoms are often attempted solutions. Depression is self-protective at one point, then becomes less so. I feel like affirmations are intended to bypass or counteract the “negative” of things like depression, anxiety, and self-criticism, but overlook the important function of these parts or aspects of ourselves. One thing I see a lot is people being instructed to “talk back” to their inner critic, or treat it adversarially, and in IFS we would not do this. Rather, we would be curious about what that part of us is trying to manage or protect us from. If I, or this part of me, learned that the only way I could stay in connection and avoid pain or rejection by effectively controlling myself through abusive internal dialogue, that part of me is not going to respond well to being invalidated for doing its job so well for so long. That “part” of me that wants to manage the inner critic is also not truly “me,” especially if it is reaching for so many things outside of myself like self-help books and listening to influencers in an effort to “fix” me. Those things will almost always fall flat or may work temporarily if they cause more internal conflict. What does it mean to be acceptable as we are? What does it mean to ask the depressed parts of us what they are trying to help us with? What does it mean to be curious about these things rather than trying to fix them? What does the “fixer” part of us want us to know about its role? What if it’s tired of trying to fix us and annoyed when the burnt out and depressed part of us takes over to get us to stop trying to fix everything? What if it was just okay to be who we are where we are? Just some questions I think about when I get in a whirlwind, or notice clients getting caught up in these parts of themselves that take the wheel and love to fight each other. I hope this wasn’t unsolicited or out of pocket. I just see you trying so hard and have a bone to pick with wellness culture influencers confusing the heck out of people for their own gain and false virtuosity. I hope things get easier for you ❤️
Don’t apologise for saying this comment. I’m not a therapist but I had sort of thought the same as you. When we watch these influencers, and we try so many things to counteract the negative it does lead to a lot of burn out. As I mentioned in the video. Brain dumping or journaling my thoughts doesn’t do that for me. It doesn’t help like others suggest. Same with affirmations, it wouldn’t click and the other way for me to believe I was pretty or a good person were to do physical things and build discipline and not just saying it. I honestly thought there was something wrong with me because all of these to some degree are proven by science and they just didn’t work for me and I couldn’t understand why. And since there’s a lot of people saying all of the habits I talked about. I thought I would mention some alternatives to things that helped me.
Journaling isn’t designed to help you overnight. As someone who deals with certain mental health challenges, keeping a record of my thoughts and emotions has been a valuable tool for identifying patterns and understanding how my brain works-which is not the same as most people’s. That said, building the habit and doing it every day can be really challenging. In fact, it can sometimes backfire by causing frustration or rejection if it feels forced. However, keeping a record-even if it’s just once a week or every two weeks-can make a real difference. It provides valuable insight and allows you to recognize progress that is often hard to notice at first glance.
@@Paulagomezm surprisedly that hasn’t work for me 😅, it’s actually made my mental health worse over the few months that I tried. I had given it a good shot as everyone said it worked but it wasn’t for me. As I have said. It worked for most people, I was just one of the unfortunate people where it didn’t work which sucked :/
I don’t know how you pooped but in my auto play, but as a therapist with serious mental illness, this really makes sense. I am very skeptical of the wellness and self-help industry (in general but I am American). We are not projects, we are not built to endlessly self improve. Also a note on affirmations as a psychodynamic/internal family systems informed therapist- I find them counteractive. Our negative core beliefs are deeply ingrained and our symptoms are often attempted solutions. Depression is self-protective at one point, then becomes less so. I feel like affirmations are intended to bypass or counteract the “negative” of things like depression, anxiety, and self-criticism, but overlook the important function of these parts or aspects of ourselves. One thing I see a lot is people being instructed to “talk back” to their inner critic, or treat it adversarially, and in IFS we would not do this. Rather, we would be curious about what that part of us is trying to manage or protect us from. If I, or this part of me, learned that the only way I could stay in connection and avoid pain or rejection by effectively controlling myself through abusive internal dialogue, that part of me is not going to respond well to being invalidated for doing its job so well for so long. That “part” of me that wants to manage the inner critic is also not truly “me,” especially if it is reaching for so many things outside of myself like self-help books and listening to influencers in an effort to “fix” me. Those things will almost always fall flat or may work temporarily if they cause more internal conflict. What does it mean to be acceptable as we are? What does it mean to ask the depressed parts of us what they are trying to help us with? What does it mean to be curious about these things rather than trying to fix them? What does the “fixer” part of us want us to know about its role? What if it’s tired of trying to fix us and annoyed when the burnt out and depressed part of us takes over to get us to stop trying to fix everything? What if it was just okay to be who we are where we are? Just some questions I think about when I get in a whirlwind, or notice clients getting caught up in these parts of themselves that take the wheel and love to fight each other. I hope this wasn’t unsolicited or out of pocket. I just see you trying so hard and have a bone to pick with wellness culture influencers confusing the heck out of people for their own gain and false virtuosity. I hope things get easier for you ❤️
Don’t apologise for saying this comment. I’m not a therapist but I had sort of thought the same as you. When we watch these influencers, and we try so many things to counteract the negative it does lead to a lot of burn out.
As I mentioned in the video. Brain dumping or journaling my thoughts doesn’t do that for me. It doesn’t help like others suggest. Same with affirmations, it wouldn’t click and the other way for me to believe I was pretty or a good person were to do physical things and build discipline and not just saying it. I honestly thought there was something wrong with me because all of these to some degree are proven by science and they just didn’t work for me and I couldn’t understand why.
And since there’s a lot of people saying all of the habits I talked about. I thought I would mention some alternatives to things that helped me.
Journaling isn’t designed to help you overnight. As someone who deals with certain mental health challenges, keeping a record of my thoughts and emotions has been a valuable tool for identifying patterns and understanding how my brain works-which is not the same as most people’s. That said, building the habit and doing it every day can be really challenging. In fact, it can sometimes backfire by causing frustration or rejection if it feels forced. However, keeping a record-even if it’s just once a week or every two weeks-can make a real difference. It provides valuable insight and allows you to recognize progress that is often hard to notice at first glance.
@@Paulagomezm surprisedly that hasn’t work for me 😅, it’s actually made my mental health worse over the few months that I tried. I had given it a good shot as everyone said it worked but it wasn’t for me. As I have said. It worked for most people, I was just one of the unfortunate people where it didn’t work which sucked :/