Truthfully just an emotional outburst
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ต.ค. 2024
- I use this website like a diary, my social anxiety can't extent to this like it can other aspects of my life. I allow myself to be raw and honest with strangers, friends, family, and myself. People might think it's weird or embarrassing, but for me, it is freeing. I have a twitch btw if you wanna ever watch me, I am silly on there much like my other videos, but truthfully I do not know when I can make them again. / jaded8itch
why my feed is now full off small, indie, girl channels? Not that I dislike this :D
@@andriyshepard3095 haha ive noticed all my feed turned into other small indie girl channels too 😂 strange community
Wait, indie of what?
same bro low sub egirls are invading my feed lmao
@@prodbycinder i am no egirl! I am just a girl with a lot to say
@@jaded8itch me too bruh
Felt this deeply. Yo, you got this! I know how awful it feels when you lose the ppl your build your foundation around, its like your whole life comes caving in. you try and tough it out but eventually it catches up with you. Truth is there is no easy way though it, especially when a parent doesn't care enough to be in your life. You have to learn to provide yourself with the love you need to grow, become strong again. You keep building up your life and eventually you'll have something strong enough to last. Drugs and Drinking got to go, you can't face your pain and not be sober. Using substances to disassociate from your problems wont solve them. Even if you use the bottle to cope its taking up your time( when you could be healing)and it may take your life. I have spent my life taking care of people, similar story. After you give all you can give you are usually left high and dry. As impossible as it is don't take it personal. (now I'm just guessing) seems like your lack of needed parental affection has manifested in an attempt to coax compassion out of the ppl you care for but they cant ever reciprocate the amount you need even though they say they do. if so, then you're like me. feeling hurt and rejected when others get their fill and move on is par the course. 90% of the time its just deep seated childhood trauma(going to your safe space in the closet). never got the love you needed as a child? well its time to love yourself even if its hard, it will always be an uphill battle but you get stronger with time! even if you feel all alone, know that there are others like you trying their best every day! don't give up! you care for others now care for yourself. sorry if cringe. I wish you the best!
low self-esteem sucks. I am also in this age (22) where i'm just so confused and worried about everything and anything. i am trying so hard to meet the standards and when i dont i punish myself very harshly. the part where you said your biggest enemy is yourself is something ive thought about a lot. how unfair it is for my own self to make my life so miserable. i need to believe that if i keep waking up every morning and trying as much as i can each day i will reach a better place. i hope the same for you too! my one and only suggestion is to go to therapy if you can... it certainly helped me a lot.
Yeah, you sound a lot like me. As a BPD, I've had that fear of rejection, only having the energy to do art and share it, as long as I hoped somebody would approve of it. A fear of not understanding myself, constantly trying to be part of things with "friends" to not be trapped in my mind. I want to be seen as a good person and being so misunderstood is exhausting. I don't know how it started, I feel like I had an average upbringing. I don't really have these habits any more, only because I've made myself live alone and friendless for so long that I forgot how rewarding it was to be validated. You're not the only one. Please take care of yourself.
damn :(
especially your point with the difference of boys and girls being silly and smart at the same time rings true for me
I'm a boy, I was the class clown but also pretty darn good in school and it was fine, it was accepted. But the moment one of the smart girls did something borderline silly she was scolded to oblivion. as if somehow being smart and being funny were two things which had to be seperated for women.
I never understood it.
@@underarmbowlingincidentof1981 exactly! Another thing I find is that, because I was raised with very minimal feminine influence, just my dad and my brothers. I was socialized much like a boy. I grew up playing video games with my dad and brothers and having a more carefree, rough and tough sort of attitude. I’ve found it so much easier for me to get along with boys, not because i want to “be different” or “a pick me girl” but because it’s just easier. Majority of guys i know like some of the same videogames, are more aligned with my sense of humour and it feels much more familiar to me. HOWEVER!!! I have always preferred female friendships because i feel like they are more genuine and less complicated, i just find it extremely difficult to get close out of fear for being too strange and not feminine enough.
@@jaded8itch lol for me it's been the exact opposite. As I came into puberty I more and more just spend time with girls. Boy friendships just weren't anything for me. A friend even once told me its easier to talk to me about boys and emotions and such because I am more feminine than her literally female best friend. kind of like what you mean with fearing not to be feminine enough I have with fearing not to be masculine enough, everyone thinks I'm gay lol, which brings its own complications.
its weird really...
and yes somehow boy friendships never really reach that depth. I think they can be really genuine but just on a different level, not emotional, something else.
For me it reached a point where I feel alienated from my own gender. I'm a cis dude, I know that... but still.
Gender and such. Complicated. Even nowadays.
but the whole 'male influence' thing is really interesting because I saw the same in a friend of mine, grew up with three brothers. Maybe it's just freeing. Maybe it helped the real you come out. I imagine growing up as a girl surrounded by just female influence extremely restricting. I mean when I grew up I had lots of male influence and got put in a football club and such and really struggled when I realized how little all of that really mattered to me... idk... gender roles and such.
still veeeery complicated lol
Im sorry bro :( you are not what people think of you. You are a multidimensional person, with thoughts and feelings and dreams who IS worthy of love. I hope one day you will find peace 🫂
i want to warp dimensions toooo
Nothing weird about this. We're all going through the same exact thing. I hate how it's so hard to just live a normal comfortable life these days.
I'm having similar feelings of wanting fulfilling relationships. Thank you for the vulnerability. Your strength has given me strength. You are worth it. You are enough.
Keep your head up, homegirl. Hope your mentals are well. Life can sometimes throw you in many angles and send you on a rollercoaster. It can change you but you have to make the effort to find happiness. It's the goal of life to do that. Much love and blessings in life.
I watched this video and poor girl, having an absent Parents let alone a Mother sucks, I was just messing around but just wanted to comment that I hope you can overcome your Demons and find some peace within yourself. 🙏🏼
dont wanna watch it all. just remember it does always get better and once it does its amazing.
Im only a minute into the video, I'll watch the rest and perhaps update my comment once im done but i want to say i sincerely hope things get better for you, because you deserve that.
i started yap videos and i don't have the bravery to post it online and its kind of a vibe to just turn on the canera and mind dump
i appreciate it a lot because i get to live vicariously through an honesty that I can't quite embody yet
I can't be vulnerable because im locked into a "character" i have to play which doesn't include being sad or vulnerable
so thanks for posting these
and to all the other small indie channels posting lol
@@NonJohns the feeling of hitting publish was just that next step i needed to get the weight off. I love my videos, i do not care if they get views. I am surprised when they do hahaha. Everyone is different, you film yourself for you, i film myself for me, id doesn’t make a difference if we post it or not. It’s therapeutic and i often have found that hitting record and speaking to myself feels just so fun and silly and freeing, because we never speak to anyone who knows us as well as ourselves.
Maybe one day you will post, maybe you will never. What matters is you and your comfort and happiness. I am just in awe that a channel i started out of silliness and boredom has actually made its way to people and has made an impact 😱😱
You are cool, stay swaggy
Just came across this video and from the intro alone, I already relate to how you are feeling and what you are going through, no one should have to go through any of that alone. The thought of being depressed really does take an emotional toll on us, and as someone who has been depressed for quite sometime now, it hurts but that’s okay, everything is getting better, slowly, I’m doing things little by little to get back up on my feet again, reassuring myself everything will be okay again. All I can say for yourself is that you’ll get through these tough times with the support from everyone you know and love, just be sure to take care of yourself and talk to someone if you need to, you aren’t alone and I only wish you the best of luck on your journey on overcoming your struggles. :)
@@itsalphacast5692 aw tysm, the amount of support from this video is crazy! I just turned on my camera and started talking about my feelings and boom so many kind people. I’m sorry you are in the same boat, but glad you are getting better, even if it’s piece by piece, it still adds up. Thank you for the comment❤️🩷
@@jaded8itchyour life will be a lot more fulfilling and hopeful, I believe it. Ofc talking on camera to a whole bunch of people is something that not everyone is confident enough to do, but you’re able to do that, and thats what makes you strong enough to share what’s on your mind, you aren’t afraid and you should be proud of yourself for that!!! I’m glad you are sharing this video to everyone who may be going through a rough patch at the moment, I have no doubt you’ll do great things in the coming months, just keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll see that things will get better for you in no time!! 😊
i am so sorry you are going through this.
i’m sorry the world has convinced you that you are not worthy of love. i’m sorry people don’t see you as you truly are. i’m sorry you haven’t received the love you deserve.
i know it’s not fair how you’ve been treated but you have been so brave and i’m so proud of you.
healing happens by feeling, and i hope you heal from things you don’t talk about.
it’s okay to still be grieving about something that mattered to you. but it sucks, it sucks when you lose people you’re not ready to lose.
please don’t give up, please be kind to yourself.
you are more than the dirt they buried you in.
I feel your pain. Your words hit a little too close to home I've been battling myself and I'm the same way saying wild shit is fun but people don't get it they take me too seriously. WOW after watching the whole video it's like we're cut from the same cloth but I'm a guy. From the being silly, reserved until you get to know me but very smart grades kid. To the depression (it's been pretty rough lately I been drinking a lot and crying when I do too) to my own mom not wanting me and understanding how that particular feeling is and battling myself and trying to quit the drinking. I completely feel everything you've said in this video. You are not alone and you are loved.❤
@@Soul_Alpha i would have never expected a spur of the moment raw honest video would bring forth so many people who deeply relate to my struggles. Its nice to know others understand. Thank you for your comment, wishing you tons of love and support during your journey. Leave a comment whenever you feel, i read them all 🩷
@@jaded8itch tbh I felt the same. I came across your video by happenstance and everything you started talking about just resonated with me. I grew up with my mom the same way seems like she hates me, I always thought it's probably bc I look just like my dad but will never truly know. Think I have kinda the same personality too lol I like making people laugh so I'm sorta silly and make a lot of dumb jokes but am struggling inside. No worries one day everything will fall into place for us, not sure if you're a believer but God bless you and I subbed and hit the bell for any of your future videos ❤️
I dont know who you are, I havent seen any of your other videos I just saw and happened to click on this, but oh my god I can relate to a lot of what you're saying and it kind of helped me realize some things about myself that I should've come to terms with a lot sooner. I hope you're life gets better, you deserve to be cared about for who you are
@@theedgera2877 thank you💖
Same, can't be bothered to explain, but same. I'd offer to give you a hug but I'm like a whole ocean away.
i was listening to this while doing something and pausing the video to console you as if I was actually speaking to you irl
shit sucks that your mom doesn't love you, I feel that some people shouldn't have kids
Sorry to hear how you think your mother feels about you, that’s terrible. I hope you can mend that one day and I hope you’re having a better day today.
Bless your heart, you deserve to be loved and never think youre not worth it because of the neglect of those close to you and others. People are unique, and not everyone fits the same mold. Life is not about seeking external gratification, rejoice in being yourself!! :D
I love your minecraft poster also, don't feel bad you are so pretty
@@OrSh i have another one by my bed too
Im not ashamed to say that I watched this whole video. The fact that you feel more comfortable recording this and posting it instead of confiding to someone you truly trust is staggering, and it breaks my heart, I see my sister in this video when I see you exposing your worries in your life to the camera. I know my sister has people she tells these things and sometimes tells me but you''re here being incredibly brave putting this out here for people to see. I can say I relate as someone who is also very shy to new people. I don't like to talk and once I say one thing about myself people always have questions and I just get tired of answering them over and over, so I just try to not even tell people anything. but that isn't me. now im basically pretending to be someone else rather than being who i truly feel and believe I am. Be true to yourself, I have learned in my life there are amazing people out there that you will vibe with, no matter how different you feel from everyone else,you just never know when you will meet those people. It can be tommorow, 2 weeks maybe a few years. You will know when you meet someone that you just know you will be good friends with without the mask of society that most people put on when they go to work or out to get groceries. Because thats really the part that will get you comfortable with being yourself. When you're with other people that like you for your true self. Be good. you will be alright.
Hello. I guess TH-cam sent me here, I am not a subscriber or have I seen you. And my words may be empty since I am a stranger on the internet. Kind or not, there is no "should" in life, just what we have and what we do with it. And I can see you're doing a lot and trying, and you're very brave and strong for trying, and that's what matters. Don't give up, it really does get better if you just try, maybe it won't immediately, or maybe years. But it does get better. Don't give up 🖤🖤
I can't treat you better, because I don't know you
but your experience can help me treat my friends better.
@@RadiantMantra that is a beautiful takeaway from my silly little video
i hope you feel better dawg
Ty i feel okay until i face myself
Honestly i can't really say anything, as others have said it for me, just i know how it feels to distance yourself from others out of fear of them doing the same, struggling with self doubt and other things i can't really go into detail about. Just try to be honest with yourself and try to feel better
@@accountgaming7595 thank u 🥺
Hello! I feel so sorry for you, not only because you don't deserve to feel this way, but also because I relate a lot, especially to the second half of the video.
And I don't know if this will make you feel better to know, but your video actually helped me realize how irrational emotions are, and how it's okay to feel irrationally. I keep having people argue with me over how irrational my feelings are, as if I can " just not feel this way" and that kinda hurts when you're just starting to figure things out. So thank you so much for helping me, even if it was unintentional!!
@@comad2516 hi omg yes. It is super frustrating always being hyper rational about emotions. I recognize ways i can change things, different outlooks i can have etc.. i know how irrational my emotions can be. But they are still there and they feel just as bad. Its super important to allow yourself to feel your emotions regardless how irrational they can be.
I relate to u alot abt not being taken seriously with your friends at school or with work and whatevs just because youre naturally inclined to act silly or say silly things. Like just because im yalls entertainment doesnt mean im not as smart as u. Ppl should interpret your humor as intelligence, not stupidity.
@@tydawg51123 100% if my brain wasn’t braining, i wouldnt be so witty!
Grace is what you're looking for.
Staying sober is awesome and based, stay strong
holy based
A lot of this was hard to listen to, not because you said or did anything wrong, but because I can relate to and empathize with how you're feeling. Everything you said was valid and you have every right to feel the way you do, those are tough thoughts to be weighing on your mind every day.
I wish I could be more helpful, but these problems don't have easy answers and honestly it feels like you already have a pretty good grip on what's bothering you. Parental issues can take a lifetime to work through, with friends it can just be about finding the right ones and surrounding yourself with good people.
It doesn't sound like you're in a position where you could talk to a therapist about these things at the moment, but I'm sure that would better for your mental health than TH-cam.
Anyway, I think even while depressed your personality and intelligence still shines through, you seem like a cool person that anyone would be lucky to have in their life. I hope that you're able to work your way though this and find more positive times on the other side. (Maybe see if some friends want to go hiking or walking regularly, sometimes little things can have a bigger impact than we'd expect)
@@Just-a-guyyy ty, yeah therapy isn’t really an option right now but i really wasn’t expecting a ton of randos to see this video hahaha just a way to vent
@@jaded8itch I've often been told I try to fix things for people when they just wanted to vent, I think it's just a character flaw at this point, sorry about that.
@@Just-a-guyyy no problem, its good u are aware of that.
idk why the algorithm sent me here but definitely don't keep saying negative things about yourself TO yourself or your gonna internalize it and start to believe it
I worded it wrong in the video its more about recognizing that i harm myself by feeling these things when i know its not true
I feel the same way sometimes but i hope life gets better for you :)
its okay. know she does love you she just does not know her own self. narcissism and psychopathy hurt others so bad. you are so cuul trust me. just keep developing your personality. do whatever you feel like doing because you CAN.
@@m1v1per95 she abandoned me and had had zero issue not talking to me for most of my life. Zero contact from when i was 12-17 because she blocked our number. She speaks to my half brothers.
@jaded8itch stay true to yourself and always do what you yourself know is right from your own heart and mind. Then you can realize falseness in others beliefs and actions.
Yes u know I can go on all day
i hope you get better. Life is difficult sometimes its true. But dont give up, better days will come, stay strong
Be well, beautiful. Don't give up.
thank you for this video
thatsnot boxy.
Thank you for sharing this. ♥
" god do I need to lose my virginity " 🤯
?
stay silly, the horrors of the world cant reach you if you stay silly and delulu
Your wrong, not delusional. You need to be able to laugh at yourself always though
needed to hear this too thanks bestie
Absurdist type shit
holy based
stay hatin, the horrors of the world cant effect you if you are used to it, stay hatin💯
Huge og Boxxy vibes
Try doing some feel good exercises after a workout session at home. They put the body in a good mood. Muscle imablances and tension can cause unecesary stewss and bad moods.
Feel good exercises: Bodyweight pushups, .y climbers, a sandbag on shoulders squats, sandbag on shoulders lunge walks, 1 legged kettlebell deadlift, with 1 arm, front grip.
I hope it gets better I know it isn’t much but you got this and stay silly too
My bad I don’t mean to rereply but after I think finishing the video I wanna first say I feel for you and you deserve to put yourself first and live knowing there are people who care about you and you deserve more way more. I fw you heavy and the videos and despite it all there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and I know you can overcome this obstacle because this is temporary and it’ll get better with time.
Being young in general fucking sucks these days
Truth
only if you're a man
the world is in fucking favour of men. the worst thing happening to you is women not liking you 💀💀@@copicmarker1021
Good enough 👍 liked and subscribed!
real asf twwin
there are some bugs on the windshield of life that will never truly come off.
i think there are people that we can be friends with. people who aren't so selfish to think being funny or out of the box is the only trait we have. we're a lot more then people see, but people can't see if they're not looking. i wouldnt say keep trying to find friends, but have a open mind. or try to find yourself in others.
youre not the weird one, you're mom is the weird one. not loving and protecting your own child is unnatural.
seems your life is unstable now but if you take the time and go through what you need to do to make it work it'll work out.
the algorithm has blessed you
Yeah, who woulda thought that my random spur of the moment emotional video would get a ton of random views 😭
@@jaded8itch yeah well take care girl
REAL
Sigma Sahara.
dont worry be happy frfr trust me
@@m1v1per95 lol i try
I'm not sure exactly what your age is, but I am guessing you're just barely becoming an adult and you're still in your late teenager years so I want to give you some advice. I am 25 and I'll let you know now, your life is just now starting. The thing is, its an extremely SLOW start. Like if you're 18 right now, I recommend just trying something new every week and experience everything you can imagine until you hit 22 years old. From 18-22 I genuinely didn't grow maturity wise at all and I felt like I couldn't grow past the person I was at that point... But I did. From 23-25 I have grown and matured so much I genuinely feel like a totally different person. My only regret is I wish I tried out tons of different hobbies and picked the ones that I felt naturally happy while doing. Instead I wasted it on trying to be friends with people who didn't care about me and trying to find someone to call my true lover but none of my long term relationships worked out in the end.
TLDR: Please, just try to experience life as much as you can and try out every hobby you can think of before you hit 22 years old. Eventually a few will stick with you for the rest of your life and can possibly even become something you're truly passionate about. Good luck!
@@sayyanlt78 i am 21
@@jaded8itch lol we’re the same age, I thought u were younger
Lock in
Love the shirt. Sabotage and the Right too Party.
It’s ok you can cry I would cry if I was you
LOL
Average woman be like : I'm normal!
You be like ; God help me. I need it, please someone Validate my feelings and life. Please just love me for me. My trauma and my flaws....please....someone
r u tweaking
@@lex5198 bro is not cooking
@@lex5198 I'm depressed
Are you comfortable with sharing why or nah? @@ChefMovktax2
If you like to talk.--
Let me be your friend :(
Miss you ❤
MOCHIRARIIIIIII OG FAN
@jaded8itch dew review for me Please 🙏
Honestly if you can’t find anything that helps you should look into thc. Youd be surprised with how well regular thc consumption works with making you feel fine with how shit your life is.
@@tyris-0001 oh no I can’t. Makes me have the worst anxiety ever
@@jaded8itch what about just cbd?
@@tyris-0001 didnt notice any effects
Damn bro lets play scary roblox games
you will never be boxxy
@@hugo2-jz4un i dont wanna be? Just dont get why ppl see any similarities at all. Cant a girl just wear eyeliner?
hi jaded, have a good day
:)
@@Nabashy hello Nabashy, have a good day as well
9:38
yeah
would it be gay if i made videos like this as a guy lmao
@@prodbycinder no, it would be gay if you were kissing guys in between sobs tho.
@@prodbycinder maybe make a video like this but kiss women in between sobs
@@jaded8itch kiss women inbetween sobs sounds like a good biography
This mindset is holding you back (not saying it’s your fault)
And touching tips 😂
I'm like 30 seconds in but have you ever considered you might be autistic? You instantly remind me of younger Irene from the channel called I'm Autistic, Now What?
Meeeeeeeeeeeeee this is verty young adult sht fr
i challenge you on typeracer
@@ismbks i will lose
@@jaded8itch belive in urself damn
join me
You're so cute.
yea yea same problems as everybody else, no serious problems here
@@ItsOnlyRNG mhm okay. Never said i was special. I sincerely hope that when you go through the lowest times of your life, and you don’t feel like you can keep going. That you are surrounded by people who help pull you out of that. I hope you never feel as alone and hopeless as so many people do.
@@jaded8itch No one ever was there for me, only me. From lowest to highest in more than a decade or almost three. Even tho im back to zero or worse, this ain't changing or anyway fixable at current times. I'm fine with everything whatever happends or i choose. Having time and recurses done everything and anything, for myself and everybody else, now and things left ages ahead. Still theres only few things left undone, that i might regret.
I rarely find a woman entertaining.. Ilowkey hate them
but 7:08 made me smile. Then I almost fell in love when I saw a thumbnail of you wearing clown makeup.
Things will get better, all the best to u
stay away from us please
@@sapphire4915
This is why I am a misogynist..
patrick bateman from wish
real on the first part
F
you look like boxy
@@lufuoena the resemblance is not there
I like ur nose
you probably have no real reason to be depressed. and no i didn't watch the video
@@copicmarker1021 you suck!!! Grow a heart and learn compassion! Or just stay silent!
@@jaded8itch it's hard to feel sorry for someone who has no real reason to be depressed. i'm not delegitimizing your struggle, but I am :)
@@copicmarker1021 why do you assume i have no real reason to be depressed?
@@jaded8itch i gave in and watched the video. from what I heard, you're depressed because there are bugs in your house, some changes in your family/job, and because your friends view you as silly not smart 💀💀💀
genuinely, I just feel disrespected. your life sounds SO far apart from one of someone who actually has reason to be depressed
@@copicmarker1021 you realize depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain? Anyone can have it, even the most perfect families. This video isn’t called “I have depression and my life is harder than everyone else’s”
This video is an off the top of my head spur of the moment trying to explain why i haven’t been posting much.
I post openly for the purpose of opening myself up to the world after years of being shut off. So I anticipate people like you who have nothing better to do than to tell others their problems don’t matter.
I wonder what criteria someones has to tick off in order to be depressed in your eyes. I wonder if the guy my friend was best friends with since childhood, who took his life at the beginning of the year would garner this reaction from you if he made a video like this. Nobody ever thought he would do it, he had a good family life and by all means a good life. But he isn’t here anymore.
Luckily enough I don’t have a suicidal bone in my body due to my immense fear of death, but what if I did? This is a video of me talking about a small fraction of my life. What if i had been SA’D in childhood, or beaten and abused and just didn’t want to say that. (I haven’t, but many many people have been)
All for people like you to come on and tell people that their struggles are invalid because you can’t muster up any ounce of empathy for someone who is hurting.
I pity you, empathy is a beautiful thing, a tool which brings us together through all sorts of differences. And you choose to be bitter.
try using less makeup and read the scripture
💀💀💀💀💀 "read the scripture"
No thanks
*I can definitely fix her* 🥹
I hope you get better with life. You also seem a really genuine person, but dont push yourself too much for other people, I did the same mistake over and over again too, that at the end I blamed myself for no good reason and I often didnt felt myself, but still it's important to move on, but its also good talk about it with someone
I suck at giving any advice, but I hope it was a little helpful ✌️
Ty :-)
Life is unfair, but the world is a MASSIVE place. You will find love and time will heal ❤🩹 Hope to catch you on twitch! ☺
@@moisesaguirre8413 i am on twitch nearly every day/night. Hope to see u sometime