Oink Oink.. I am listening to the Song I am playing on this Piano.. of course I am Not a composer.. I can't write any music.. but I have the Letter I have written just for YOU.. Only YOU can hear the Words that is coming Out of My Mouth.. which it was written last Night before I went to Bed.. I just could Not sleep.. I would be tossing and turning on the side.. I would be laying.. Looking at the wall of the ROOM.. my Heart was Beating Hard from the Inside.. which kept me waking UP.. I would try to close the two eyes.. shut I would close.. but I would see YOU in my Head.. in my Mind I see YOU and I would think of YOU.. opening both eyes does Not work because My Heart is beating Hard.. I would sit on top of the bed.. trying to lay back Down and again I would sit.. I would look across is the Desk.. maybe it is telling me to write YOU another Letter.. why do I have to keep On picking UP the Pen.. putting the White Piece of paper before my eyes.. I would pull the chair closer and I would sit.. but the Night.. it is like deep into the Night.. where I am suppose to be sleeping the Most.. But I would have your picture on the Top of the Desk.. I turn on the side looking at the Door.. I see the Little Piano.. it is waiting for Me.. by the Door which it leads me to the Living ROOM.. the Little Piano looks.. and I look at the Little Piano.. it is telling me to Play so that I can tell YOU.. what is IN MY HEART which it says IN my Heart I love YOU.. I love you so Much that I am Not sure how much to Love any More.. do I have to love you so More.. but How BIG and Wide must this Love must carry through.. How can YOU tell.. but I would look at the Little Piano on the side by the door.. and I know.. I may Not be able to play a SONG.. it may Not come Out right.. YOU will not hear it right.. then.. How about the Letter.. maybe the Letter can over come and the Music YOU listen with YOUR ears of the TUNE of this Piano.. it may Not affect Your Hearing Loss.. but when YOU hear the Words.. the Letter.. I will let YOU hear the Letter that I am writing this Very Night.. as I turn the Other way is the Window.. pulling the Curtains UP.. I can see the Window.. and I can see the MOON from where I am sitting in this Room.. and I look at the Moon as I am sitting.. turning to the Moon.. thinking of YOU.. grabbing the Picture and looking at YOU through this Picture.. What am I suppose to do.. when can I see YOU.. when can YOU hear my Heart.. the Out cry that Comes from within me.. I want to tell YOU I love YOU.. I want to say to YOU that I love YOU so Much.. will you let me tell you these words of Mine to YOU.. will you let me ever come close to YOU and tell YOU how much I love YOU.. How about the times having when I really Really Missed YOU.. I want to pour a Wine on the Glass.. and I want to drink.. take a sip of the Wine of the Glass cup.. taking a Sip and when I face you.. when I see YOU.. I will be first approaching YOU.. holding Your Hands.. It has been so Long I have been waiting.. it took more than thousand days.. even ten thousand days had to pass me by.. how many weeks does it needs to pass by for YOU to ever miss Me.. How many Months does it needs to take for YOU to Miss me.. How many years must it pass by for YOU to miss me and see My Heart.. when will YOU KNOW that I be loving YOU for so Long.. do YOU know that every Night I miss YOU.. I can turn.. looking at the MOON.. if YOU ever have some time.. and when the Day turns into Night.. Please step Out side.. just once in a blue MOON will do.. as I be walking Out side.. Holding the Letter In my Hands.. I would be walking and I stop.. I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. and I would hold UP the Paper.. the Letter in my Hands.. and I would say.. if YOU hear me.. and the Little Piano is there with Me.. as I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. my hands.. my fingers would be pressing the Key Bars.. I am Not sure what kind of sounds YOU can be hearing.. it is good that YOU are ON the Other Side.. if YOU can't hear the Key.. the sounds and the Tunes of this Piano.. I think it can be good for those ears.. instead of hearing the Words that I speak coming from the Heart which I would memorize the Written Words I have written in the Letter for YOU.. YOU may Not hear my words right.. I would be hitting the Key bars.. it is making a lot of sounds and a lot of noises on this Piano.. as I am pressing the Key Bars which it is bring Sounds Out.. I am Looking UP.. turning to the MOON.. and I know.. I can see Your Face inside the Moon.. as I would close my two eyes.. I would say.. DO you Hear Me.. do I must speak Louder to YOU for the waves to go across.. do I needs to Lose my Voice for YOU to hear me Now.. I been waiting for YOU.. but YOU have Not showed UP yet.. I have been waiting for Your Answer.. WHY can't YOU tell me that YOU Miss me.. why can't YOU be truly Honest with me for Once.. Please tell me that YOU love me Too.. Please tell me that YOU also can miss Me.. I been holding IN for a Long time.. I wanted to say it.. to tell YOU that I am missing you so Much right Now.. I am Not even looking at the Key Bars of this Little Piano.. so I have NO idea what I am playing.. If YOU were here.. I know you would tell me to Stop playing on that Little Piano because YOUR ears will Hurt.. and that is why I just can't stop.. if YOU can be hear and hear the sounds of this Little Piano which I am bringing Out some kind of Noise.. YOU will tell me to Stop because It is hurting Your Ears.. that is HOW MY Heart feels at this Point.. that I can't stop that It hurts if I choose to stop.. If I cannot tell YOU that I don't love you.. it hurts me more than the Tune.. the Playing.. the SOUND and the Noise.. It will kill me if YOU tell me to Stop telling YOU that I love YOU.. I can't breath.. I love that I love YOU.. I love the thoughts that I can tell YOU that I love YOU.. to able to tell you this is My Dreams come true.. dreaming of the Day.. I can hold Your hands and truly.. PULL you closer to Me.. and I will speak softly into Your ears.. and I will tell YOU one Hundred times.. How much I love YOU.. and I will tell YOU One thousand times.. how much I will love YOU.. I will cry if I can't say it to YOU any more.. I will sit and ball hard like a Child.. like a baby I can cry if I can't tell YOU that I love YOU.. I have been loving YOU for so Long.. WHY can't YOU see that In me.. I have been here all along.. why can't you accept it.. because it is NOT enough for YOU.. I am trying Hard to tell YOU.. I been here telling YOU that I love YOU.. the Joy that brings into my Heart.. when I am allowed to say it.. to tell it the way it is meant to be said.. I want to tell you that I love YOU.. as I am looking UP at the Moon.. I can feel the tears.. My Heart is burning.. My Heart is beating Hard.. my fingers pressing into the Little Piano.. I am Looking UP at the MOON at Night.. making all kinds of Sounds and Noises YOU just don't want to Hear.. that is why I am here on the Other side which You can't Hear it.. but the Words I am telling.. the Words I been writing to YOU all this time.. Letting YOU know that It is my Heart.. It is the Pencil which I pick UP.. it is the Piece of paper.. and writing to YOU which makes me Happy.. gives me Hopes and to dream Bigger for YOU and to love YOU more and more.. as my fingers stops pressing on the Key bars of this Little Piano.. I would still Look UP at the Moon.. and I would say in the Loud voice.. DO YOU hear Me.. can YOU Please Hear me standing here on the Other side.. I am waiting for YOU.. that is why when YOU take the TIME to come Out.. Please come out at Night.. when YOU can stand out alone.. and YOU can see the MOON above YOU.. what YOU will see is not Me playing on the Little Piano.. YOU are not going to see a Letter with two wings flying down to YOU.. But the MOON is going to show you the Tears that came Out of my eyes.. comes Out from the Heart.. comes Out from my Mind and my thoughts of thinking of YOU.. YOU will see the Moon so differently because the MOON will shows YOU tears.. My Tears because I love YOU.. My Tears because I miss YOU.. My Tears because YOU do Not understand my Heart.. But that is Okay If YOU don't get it now.. YOU may Not understand it ever.. but when A MAN like me Loves YOU.. maybe it can take thousand of Years later.. It can be when I am grey and an Old Man.. dying in the Bed.. it is Okay if YOU do not get it then either.. it can be when YOU come to visit my Own grave.. when I am Gone.. but Know that I loved YOU more than I ever loved myself.. I know that One day.. some day YOU will know who Loved YOU more.. as I am Looking at the MOON above me.. I am looking at the Letter I have written for YOU.. what am I suppose to do with this Letter.. I know that standing here.. LOOKING UP at the Moon.. YOU can't even hear my voice.. YOU can't even hear the Little Piano be playing.. did YOU hear the sounds and noises of this Little Piano.. I wish you can listen to My Heart Beat.. because I been pressing the key bars as I can hear my Own Heart beating for YOU.. thinking of YOU.. wishing to be with YOU.. Looking at your Picture.. wishing that I can be with YOU.. Can YOU hear me on the other side.. that is why I would stand here alone.. LOOKING at the MOON.. I would cry before the Moon.. because I want YOU to Hear Me.. I want you to able to receive what I can give.. I wish that YOU can Hear me.. but All I see is the MOON before me.. It does not Move.. Does not make any kinds of expression.. It does not speak back to Me.. but I still see the MOON standing still.. How do I get this Letter to YOU.. How am I suppose to deliver this Letter to YOU.. can you please show me the way to Your Heart.. please show me How can this Letter get into your hands.. as I grab the Little Piano into my Hands.. and I am walking back to the House.. and slowly I am walking away from the Moon.... the Door opens and I go into the House.
I love YOU.. do you know that these three words Hit me.. when I did Not hear from you the past few days.. the Word I love you came into my Heart when I would remember what the Doctor Told me.. he told me something that YOU have not mentioned about and I just wanted to tell YOU this from my Heart.. that I love YOU.. and all I think of YOU.. YOU be in my Mind.. YOU kept on being on my Heart and ON my Mind.. Why can't I just erase you Off my Mind.. I can't.. Please tell me How.. as I am looking at this Cabin Log home.. I want to remember what happened to Us.. You have left a Message on the Phone.. and hearing your Voice.. I would listen to Your Voice.. stop and play over and over.. trying to remember YOU.. it hurts me More than it hurts YOU because I have found another Picture.. it is YOU holding a Giant Teddy Bear.. and YOU are showing me this Peace Sign.. and it is that Smile that Get to me when I take a Look into that Picture.. where was this taken At.. How can I forget.. and YOU are Not helping me in any of this.. why can't you tell me where was it At.. I dialed YOUR number and I called YOU on the Phone.. but YOU would not pick up this Time.. I started to Beat on my Chest.. and I sat on the Floor.. Looking at this picture of YOU holding the Giant Teddy Bear.. I have the first Picture on the first Room.. and there is an Empty vase in the second Room.. and I found this Picture on the second Room.. when I lifted UP the Empty Vase.. this picture was underneath it.. I remember buying this Home.. but I do not know who it was that was selling me this Home.. Just love the Wood areas and far from the city side of Life.. just wanted to live this quiet life until I heard your Voice.. and it was YOU who were thanking me purchasing this Home.. I wanted to see YOU.. I wanted to meet YOU.. but YOU told me that it is Not the right TIME.. I remember walking into this Log Cabin Home.. the House was empty.. but there was this scent.. this smell of a perfume when I went into this Empty house.. this Empty home.. did Not know where the smell came from.. I would walk Out of the House.. looking around.. I saw no one.. but this Smell.. where does this soft smell of scent came from.. Is it that my memories are coming back slowly because I think I smelled this scent before.. I am trying to remember this smell but I know that I knew this smell.. Was it YOU who came to this Empty Home before I came.. I am wanting to Know.. so much questions going through my Mind.. I want answers.. when I first Unlocked the Door to enter.. the Smell Hit me like the thin air of cold Icy air.. it hit me in such a massive wave.. I know that someone had to be here.. because I heard that It was a New Home.. or was It Not.. does this Home belong to YOU.. or was it Mine in the past.. Please tell me something because I would like to know.. I remember after leaving the empty Home.. I would take a Long walk a long walk alone.. I was thinking about YOU.. because I heard Your Voice.. How excited Your Voice were because I bought this Home.. as I heard YOUR voice after leaving on the Message.. I would be walking.. holding the Phone in my Hand.. Placing the Speaker close to my ear.. I loved hearing your Voice.. wondering How do you Look on the Other side.. wishing can I meet YOU too.. as the Cold Breeze Hits into the Dark night.. I would see the MOON appear before Me.. snow on the Floor.. and I kept on walking.. playing to Listen to your Voice.. Is there a way I can speak back to YOU.. is there a way I can call the Number and tell YOU what My Heart truly thinks of Your Voice.. of course I did Not see your picture around this TIME.. it was the first day after I came Out of the Hospital.. waking UP to a Coma.. but the Doctor telling me that I am good to go.. that I can walk well.. leaving the Hospital I went straight to the New Home.. which I was surprised of getting a Home in the first place.. a message and a Picture came on the Phone.. with the direction to the Location.. and I took the taxi and the man drove me there.. with the key in my hands.. I think the Doctor knew something but He did Not tell me anything.. just gave me the keys to the new Home.. I don't remember when I bought this House.. that is why I feel so strange walking into this New Home.. I am looking at the walls of the Room.. the second room I am standing.. my hand touch the wall.. I don't know what to do.. what am I suppose to say about this situation.. I feel so Lost and so confused because I am standing in a new Home.. but I don't remember any one of this.. I would look at the Phone.. and I am looking at your Picture YOU send me.. and asking me DO I remember YOU.. It hurts Me.. But YOU are so Beautiful.. YOU are so Lovely.. why are YOU sticking around towards a man who has lost everything.. I don't even remember right Now.. as the Doctor gave me the Keys to the new House.. He tells me something before HE let me go.. that there was someone who was here with me.. when I was laying on the Bed.. In the Coma.. for many days.. there was this One woman who came.. and YOU sat next to me while I was sleeping for a long time.. the Doctor said that I may Not wake UP.. but Only Time will tell but YOU came next to me.. and Would Hold my Hand.. and would come to spend next with me during the long nights.. and that when He.. the doctor comes to check.. YOU would be sleeping next to me holding my hands.. the Doctor looks over.. and sees tears rolling down my eyes.. and I think it is because of YOU I just could not GO.. I wanted to go.. go somewhere far.. but it was Your hands the doctor saw and How YOU kept on coming by my side.. until the Good news came that I was waking UP slowly from this Long sleep of COMA.. that is when the Doctor told me YOU came.. every night.. holding my hands and slept next to me.. and My tears.. I kept on crying because I wanted to GO.. I wanted YOU to let me go BUT your Hands would Not let me go.. Your TOUCH.. your hands which Hold my Hand tight and say YOU can't let me go.. I remember the day my eyes opened.. I was Not sure where I was.. of course it was that Accident.. and I would asked the Doctor.. what had happened to Me.. and How did I get here in this Bed.. the Doctor says.. it was a hit and run.. but I survived that crash which could of ended my life.. someone was drunk and hit the Car.. and He ran with his car.. and the Doctor showed me the Picture of my car which was crushed into pieces.. and I know that I have an Angel who was On my side.. that Night.. YOU came after the Police saw Your Picture on the Phone.. YOU were on the front of the screen.. and the doctor tells YOU the News.. that a big damage to my Head caused me to Loss some memories.. Maybe never I will remember YOU.. after I heard this from the Doctor showing me the picture of my Brain damage.. I cried.. I won't remember the Angel who was standing next to Me.. Holding my Hands when I was laying asleep.. I can this Happen to Me.. How can this One accident causes so much Pain in my Heart.. I want to remember YOU.. and I remember looking at the Phone.. which the Doctor gave to Me.. the front cover of the screen.. Your Picture was there and I would take a Look.. and I would say.. I don't remember YOU.. who is this person.. and It broke my Heart.. But has to be someone very special for to be in the cover of the screen.. the Doctor looks at me and tells me.. the One who was holding Your hands when I was asleep in the COMA.. it was YOU my Angel who came.. when I wanted to Go.. It was just too hard to stay alive.. I wanted to rest.. I wanted to go.. But Your Hands.. it was Your Touch.. your Faith that brought me back to where I can breathe Now.. and When I heard this from the Doctor.. I would cry looking at the Picture of YOU.. my Angel.. why can't I remember the Angel who stood by my side.. YOU could of ran too.. Just like I got Hit.. and some one ran.. even when YOU heard that I have this brain damage.. when didn't YOU ran with that.. as I sat there.. listening to the doctor.. which It was HIM who saw all these things.. and wanted to tell me that I have an angel WHO loved Me so much.. that I should Never let YOU go.. and Yes.. when I told the doctor that YOU could of ran.. he said to me.. I am right.. but YOU did Not run off like that.. came every Night.. when things were so dark.. and just stood there in silence.. there was NO need for words of exchange.. but Just your presence.. YOUR hands which held my Hands.. it was YOU who got to my Hands.. and I felt your love.. I felt it at the Most Hardest times.. at the desperate moment of trying to Let GO.. trying to go somewhere very far.. But YOU are the Angel who came.. it was Your Love which brought tears to my eyes.. I felt it in my Heart.. I felt it deep into my Heart.. just YOU being there.. DID NOT need to hear anything.. but YOU just being next to Me.. and HOLDING my Hands telling me that YOU WILL NOT LET ME GO and that kept my Heart to beat again.. it kept my blood to turn warm to HOT.. Only YOU who was there to help me at the most desperate life threatening situation.. it was YOU who was there.. and I wanted to say.. I love YOU.. even though I may Not remember YOU yet.. I still love YOU because I heard what you have did when I was left alone for the fight of my life in COMA.. as I am in the Second ROOM.. in this New Home.. I am looking at the new Picture I found.. YOU are holding the Giant Teddy Bear.. with a Big SMILE showing me the Peace Sign.. as I would look at the Phone.. I would press the Play to Hear your Voice.. it has been few days since you called me and left me the Voice Message.. I am wondering.. where are YOU at.. YOU told me that YOU are going to be calling me SOON.. if few days has passed by.. can I call YOU.. so I can hear YOUR voice.. I wanted to tell YOU that I love YOU
You left few days ago.. but when Can I hear Your New voice Now.. I want to hear a new message coming from You.. I miss your Voice.. so will you pick up the Phone if I call YOU.. as I would send YOU a text message and I would send it to Your Number.. and I would sit and wait for Your response on the Other side.. and I get a Message.. a written text message back from YOU.. just did Not think you would answer back so quickly.. and I would call.. dial UP your number and let it ring.. few times the ring I would hear.. and I hear Your Voice.. and I would say to YOU.. I been thinking about the Day I woke UP.. waking UP from the Hospital.. and I would hear what the Doctor says to me.. that I wanted to say you are my Angel.. I wish that I can be an angel Like YOU.. so that I can be the One to make YOU smile More.. would you let me be an Angel for just One Day.. of course If you are wondering.. DO I remember YOU.. to be honest.. I am still lost.. Unable to remember YOU.. but I wanted to ask YOU something.. can YOU Please help me to Know YOU.. to find the Memory back of YOU.. will you please show me How to remember so that I can just love YOU the way YOU should be loved.. and I would pause.. and I don't hear any word from YOU.. but I do hear YOU saying.. Yes.. YOU were there at the Hospital and it was YOU who was next to Me.. but of course.. I needed to remember YOU first so that YOU can tell me More.. and it keeps on hurting Me.. it keeps on hurting me because I do want to remember.. I want to know what has happened.. about everything.. But.. if YOU are not going to help me.. How am I suppose to Know.. Please tell me.. please Help me so that I can feel what real Love.. what true Love is all about.. my Heart is beating fast whenever I would listen and hear your Voice.. but I want to love YOU and say it Like I mean it because I know that I do love YOU.. that is why I am asking YOU to help me to find the way.. so that I can be in your Heart.. and YOU in my Heart as I remember everything about us.. I am looking at your Picture.. looking at you smiling.. I just wish I can remember this Place.. I am wondering.. who is the One who has taken this Picture.. I know that someone had to stand on the Other side.. and had to look through the lens of the camera.. and just focusing on YOU.. and had to click to take that picture.. as I am in the second room.. looking at the Vase.. the empty Vase.. and looking at your picture.. I wish that It was me.. was it me who was standing on the Other side.. was it really me?? YOU told me that I was with YOU.. and that YOU asking me if I remember any of all these things.. why is it so Hard.. it is so difficult on my part because I want to go back and remember all of these things that has happened.. but the More I am trying to think about YOU.. the more it seems harder to remember these times.. and the Voice.. Your voice I hear when I am talking to you on the Phone.. when YOU call me.. and I would answer.. I am wondering How did I get into this House.. because I just don't remember.. I even saw few people walking in.. the Movers with their truck.. putting all kinds of things into this House.. how did these people got here.. I have so much questions.. but I know that it is you who are putting all these things through.. I am standing in the second room.. looking at your picture.. the only One thing that I can look through.. but I just want to remember YOU.. How did we meet.. How did I fall in love with YOU.. what happened.. I know that YOU told me I got into the car wreck.. could of died in the accident but I guess just the Life that is still in me.. I should be truly thankful to be even alive.. as I am looking at your picture.. I can hear the Phone ringing.. and I see your Picture I have put on the Phone.. and it shows me who is calling me.. as I would pick up the Phone.. putting against my ear to listen to Your Voice.. I wonder.. are you ever going to show UP.. are you going to stop by to visit me.. can you please Help me to remember more about YOU.. because YOU are still a mystery to Me.. I needs to know more.. I needs to ask More.. I want to find out more about YOU.. but.. I know that YOU don't say too much.. why are you being like this to me.. YOU are the one who calls me.. but never say too much.. WHY.. Please tell me what is holding you back to say.. I know that YOU want to say something.. please tell me.. Please tell me because I too have an ear to hear your words.. only if YOU can share and express what is deep in your Heart.. I really wants to know.. and I am looking at another Picture.. this Picture is a Heart.. a red Heart.. why did YOU place this Picture next to Your Picture.. what does this Heart Picture means.. what are you trying to tell me.. Are you telling me that YOU love a Heart.. or trying to tell me that YOU have a Heart.. or are you asking me DO I have a Heart or do I love a Heart.. I must know why.. why put it next to your Picture on the second room.. as I am looking at the two picture on top of the desk.. my hand holding the Phone.. I can hear the breathing.. can I ask YOU something.. WHY is there a picture of A Heart.. who has taken this Picture and why did it be placed in this Desk and I would hear you say.. that I would Love the Heart.. and I am standing here.. with a Question Mark.. that I love a Heart.. does that Means it was me who has taken this Picture.. I know that the first room.. it has a Bed and on the top of the Bed.. I saw a Heart.. it was a pillow Heart.. and It was Me who has taken that picture.. but why can't I remember.. I don't remember taken any picture.. and I would think back.. a little flash back.. I see you sitting on the Top of the Bed.. your arms holding around the Red Heart Pillow.. and I would hear you even tell me the same thing on the Phone.. that one night.. I came into the first room.. and YOU were sitting down on the top of the Bed.. and I would stand and I would watch YOU.. your Arms around the Red Heart.. telling me that YOU love red Heart.. and would smile as you would squeeze it.. and YOU put on the bed next to YOU.. and I would walk closer.. hands holding the camera.. and I would put my eye close to the Lens of the Camera and ZOOM closer.. and snap Shot taking a picture.. and as I put the camera down.. I would turn to look at YOU and I would say.. I want this Heart.. But I want your Heart like this.. can I please have your Heart.. would you please give me YOUR HEART because I truly need it.. I want to have It.. Have your Heart.. and I would see you smile as I would turn to walk away from the first room.. as I am standing still in the Second ROOM.. I am able to get or catch a glimpse.. I think little by little.. things are coming that I am beginning to see something.. Still I can't remember but the little pieces of puzzle like.. I feel like YOU are truly helping me to find YOU back to my Heart.. I know that I loved YOU once that is before the Car accident.. I still can feel inside that I still love YOU.. when YOU are telling me these things on the Phone.. YOU are helping me because without YOU.. How can I know.. it is what YOU know that is bringing things back.. but slowly it is taking a long time.. YOU know that I love YOU.. I have never stopped loving YOU.. only YOU can bring my Heart to be alive.. Only YOU can help me to love YOU once again because I never stopped loving YOU.. as I would turn away.. my Hand holding the Picture of the Heart.. the red Heart.. I would walk out of the second room.. I wonder if I can see Your Heart.. I want to know the color of Your Heart.. would you let me see the color of the Heart.. does it look like this Heart.. the red Heart in the picture.. would you let me see the Color of Your Heart.. because I love this red Heart.. as I would walk out the front door.. it is very cold outside.. and I am standing.. with the Jacket on.. I walk to the front.. LOOKING at the flurry of snows falling from the sky.. and my Hand.. holding the picture of the Red Heart.. I would lift up my arm.. and I can see the Picture.. I lift to see the Red Heart in the Photo.. I want to see your Heart.. I want to touch Your Heart.. I want to know and want to see the color.. can I take a Picture of Your Heart.. I means your Real Heart.. so that I can put this away and look at your Real Heart.. the shape and the color.. and get close so that I can tell your Heart something.. that Maybe if I can see the real Heart of Yours.. I can bring the memories I have lost and can remember everything about YOU.. I really want to know.. I want to be the One who can tell your Heart.. as I have the Phone on the Other hand.. I know that YOU are still there.. because I did not hang UP.. I wanted you to hear my voice.. I wanted you to hear my words as I am speaking looking at the Picture of the Red Heart.. I want to tell YOU that I love YOU.. even though I don't remember much.. I know that IN my Heart.. I still be loving YOU.. because looking at the Red Heart.. it is making me share and express How my thoughts.. that I want to see YOU.. I want to see you visit me.. even though I may not be able to go to you.. I wish that YOU can come to me because I am waiting for YOU.. when are you going to come.. I don't want to take the picture of the Red Heart because it is only a Pillow that is laying on top of the Bed.. what I truly want now is to look at your real Heart.. to see the color of Your Heart.. to take a picture of Your Heart.. and I want to ask YOU about the Vase.. the empty Vase that is in the second room.. I have all these Questions that Only YOU know.. only the answers you can give.. but I do not want to hear Your Voice.. even though I love hearing your Voice.. I want to see you in Person and to hear from YOU.. so that I can be near YOU.. only if YOU can come.. come visit me.. help me to know what this is all about.. because Only you have the answers I am looking for.. Only if YOU were here.. if you were close by.. and if YOU
That YOU are moving On.. what if YOU tell me that YOU are tired of waiting for me.. what if YOU tell me Not to love you any more.. that is why I just can't lose YOU.. as I am walking into the first room.. and I stop to turn to look at the Bed.. the Phone on One hand.. and the Picture.. the Red Heart in the Other hand.. I am looking at the Bed.. I see the Red Heart.. it is laying on top of the Bed.. I put the Phone close to my ear.. I want to tell YOU.. I want to see you here.. It be nice to see you sitting on the top of the bed.. I want to see you Holding.. your arms wrapped around the Red Heart.. would you please come and let me take a picture of YOU holding the Red Heart.. I have the picture of YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful with a lovely smile.. I have the picture of the red Heart.. but what I am missing is the picture of YOU holding this Red Heart.. to fill in the missing link.. if YOU can come.. come and visit just for one day.. so that I can take this one Picture of YOU.. I want to take that picture.. your arms around.. holding and squeezing this Red Heart.. and What I will say.. DO I love YOU.. the More you can hold your arms around the Heart.. the red Heart.. I will say that I do Love YOU.. please squeeze my Heart.. Please Hold My Heart.. if you don't.. then I am going to be the one to hold and squeeze your Heart and I will tell your Heart.. please love Me.. Please can I tell YOU that I love YOU.. Please just love me.. love my Heart so that I can tell your Heart.. that I love YOU.. Now I am missing YOU.. missing this One picture.. YOU are holding the Red Heart.. only YOU can hold it while I take the picture of YOU holding it.. I am looking at the window.. as I am in the room.. I just keep on thinking of YOU.. I know that I am missing YOU.. will I ever see YOU.. and I would walk closer to the window.. and I would kneel and looking Out the window.. I am wondering.. do you think as much as I am thinking of YOU.. I can see that the Moon is come Up.. I am wondering what YOU are doing.. who are you thinking of.. is it snowing over there.. is it raining.. How cold is it there.. and I would look UP and I see the Moon.. it is staring at Me.. and I put my hands together.. I wonder if some one can hear me.. Hear the Heart inside crying.. because I miss YOU.. I want to be with YOU.. but why can't I be with YOU.. when will the time be when I can hold Your Hand.. and Pull you closer to tell your ear.. how much I been missing YOU.. how much I been loving YOU.. even though I want to say it this time.. why is it so hard.. why is it so difficult to tell you.. this distance.. it feels like from in the room.. I am looking Out the window.. Looking UP toward the Moon.. that kind of distance that leaves me puzzled.. and will you tell me Yes.. will you let me love YOU.. I feel like YOU don't want me to love YOU because LOOK how much I needed to wait for YOUR yes to come to me.. or is it No in your Heart.. I am over here tonight.. Looking for an Angel.. WILL the Angel hear me this very night.. can the Angel hear my voice.. or the Angel is Not there.. and I am looking UP.. looking around.. I can't see the Angel.. I don't see any Angel over here.. But I wish that the Angel can hear me.. I wanted to ask.. can I borrow two Wings.. can I have two wings.. I know that staying here in my room.. looking through the window.. and just looking UP to the Moon.. this distance is not going to take me any where.. I be missing YOU.. I want to tell YOU something.. I need to say something.. Let my words say something.. kneeling here and just looking UP at the Moon.. it is going to take me No where.. I want to be with YOU.. I want to Hold YOU.. if it is cold there.. If it is snowing.. or raining.. I want to Hold YOU.. let my hands touch your hands.. let me pull you closer.. so that I can hear your Heart Beating against Mine.. will you let me stay by your side please.. I am looking for the Angel.. I been praying and wishing for an Angel.. I would enter the room.. and I would look at the window.. and I would walk closer to the window in the room and kneel.. looking through the window.. asking.. Are you there.. I am speaking to the Angel.. I know that YOU can hear Me.. because every Night.. I come to the same spot.. asking for the Angel.. I know that YOU be tired of hearing me asking for the same thing.. so why Not just show UP and tell me that YOU are there.. can I have your two wings.. I need two wings.. If you can't give me two wings.. at least let me borrow two wings from YOU.. can YOU Please say something.. I need two wings.. and if the angel would finally show UP and tell me.. I am going to look UP.. Angel.. I want to have your two wings.. and can I borrow it just for one Night.. I want to spend my time Just being by YOUR side.. if the Angel Allows me to borrow two Wings.. I would place the wings on the right and left of the shoulder blade.. and I know that just for that One Night.. I want to be Your Angel.. and I be asking You.. can I fly over the Moon.. and if YOU believe in an Angel.. at least YOU know that I love YOU.. this Angel will Not let YOU GO.. this Angel will stay by your side.. just to tell YOU that I love YOU.. YOU know how much I missed YOU.. How much I been loving YOU and still been loving YOU.. I want be sitting on the top of the tree branch.. just watching you from the distance.. and having YOUR picture in my Hand.. to show YOU NOT to be afraid of me.. Look.. I will tell you.. LOOK at the Picture.. I am not a stranger.. and I would be with a Letter.. LOOK.. I am the One who has been typing YOU.. sharing to YOU how much I love YOU.. so that YOU would not step back or scream.. the Prove that On the Other side.. for a Long Long time.. I been asking for Your Heart.. for YOU TO Love me too.. even though I am not asking you right Now.. but I am asking you.. will you please love me some day.. I do not know How long it is going to take but until YOU can tell me that YOU love me.. but I would show UP as your angel.. and I would flap the two wings and I would lower to look at YOU.. and I would say.. I did not come here to hurt YOU.. I did not come here to scare you either.. I came here to say.. I have been missing YOU for such a Long time.. I had to ask.. I had to beg.. I had to pray.. I had to wish.. and Many Many Many Nights.. I would enter the room.. and go to the window in the room.. and kneel.. I would LOOK UP to see the Moon.. and I open the window and I would be asking for an Angel.. if the Angel is real or true.. and I would be asking for the Angel to answer me.. I would keep on going to the same spot.. until One night the Angel came down to the Window I was kneeling.. I just could not believe my eyes.. I started to cry when I saw the Angel and the Angel asked me why I kept on calling for Him and I asked the Angel.. two wings to Borrow.. just for one Night.. and I would show the Angel the Picture of YOU.. and I been telling the angel My Heart.. How much I been missing YOU.. How many nights I had to come out.. asking for you.. I would start just standing Out side by the House.. and Looking at the Moon.. I would pour out my Heart to the Moon about YOU.. and I knew that NO matter How much I would tell that Moon.. the Moon is Not going to tell me any thing.. it hurts because I wanted YOU to know.. so I went to the room and I believed in the Angel.. Maybe the Angel can Help me instead.. so that is when I started to call for the Angel.. which the angel came.. I asked to borrow the two wings.. which the Angel gave to me for just one Night.. I showed the angel the Letter I been writing to YOU and also the Picture of YOU and I had to be the one to go to see YOU.. I been missing YOU so much lately.. I just had to come.. Now.. I been sitting on the tree branch.. I saw YOU in a distance in a shop.. so I waited.. Of course I did not mean to scare YOU.. but the Angel gave me the permission to be an Angel for this one Night.. Now I am looking at YOU.. I don't want to leave.. I want to stay by your side.. and be there with YOU.. I want tell you how much I love YOU and if I do go.. I know that I am going to be missing YOU.. I hate missing YOU when I love YOU.. why can't YOU come with Me.. or why can't I stay with you.. I brought the Letter to show YOU.. it is Me who been telling YOU and sharing you my Heart.. so that YOU would not think I am crazy.. Do you see this letter.. Do you see the Picture.. it is YOU.. I been having this picture for a Long time.. and Only this Picture.. when I feel down.. I would take a LOOK at your picture.. I can't stop crying.. Because YOU Look so much prettier.. Because YOU look so much Beautiful.. Why do you have to be this Pretty.. WHY do you have to be this Beautiful.. When YOU Love some one.. YOU look much more Beautiful in my eyes then ever.. I don't know what it is.. maybe it is because My Heart sees so much More.. I see Love that Only I can bring and tell and give to YOU.. I just want to hold YOU.. to tell YOU that I have never stopped loving YOU.. I came all down way.. flying over the Moon.. Just to see YOU for this One Night.. Now.. I don't want to leave.. I can't go because I know that I be missing YOU again.. I want to see YOU again.. I want to tell YOU how beautiful YOU are.. How much I want to be with YOU.. that when YOU leave.. when I go.. I know that I am going to ask the Angel again for the two wings.. if I can have the two wings so that I can every Night.. flying over the Moon.. waiting for YOU.. sitting on that Same Tree on that branch.. Just to tell YOU how much I miss YOU and how much I love YOU.. but Now.. since I saw YOU.. and I gave you the letter.. I know that I have to go.. YOU are the Only One who I love.. that is why I just can't go.. I just wanted to say.. I been on the Other side.. just waiting for YOU.. I even stoop by the House.. when the Moon came UP at Night.. I would stare at the MOON as it stare at me.. and I would hold Your Picture.. asking if the Moon can speak
Just can't leave.. But I know that I must because I made the Promise to return.. to give back the two wings that I borrowed.. But I came here to see YOU.. I kept on missing YOU.. just looking at your Picture was not Enough.. just telling YOU through writings was Not enough for Me.. I started More.. I started to feel in my Heart I want More of YOU.. I want Your Love.. I want to see YOU.. your Presence.. your Smile.. Your Beautiful.. Your Scent.. I wanted More because My Heart started to Love YOU more.. I want More of YOU because I love you a lot More now.. why can't I be with YOU.. WHY can't I hold YOU.. my arms is killing me because it is YOU I want to hold so tight.. I want to hold you close to tell YOU.. why can't YOUR Heart be opened to me.. please tell your Heart to be open to me so that YOU will know who is the ONE been loving YOU.. It is Me who loves YOU.. I don't think there is Another WHO can Love you More and More as I can because I am able to tell YOU Heart to Heart.. if a Person is like a wall.. what good is that Person.. do NOT tell you how Much but YOU know that I can tell YOU.. PULL you into my arms.. and LOOK at your ear and I will speak.. telling YOU.. I am the One who Loves YOU.. Open your Heart.. Please.. Tell your Heart to Open to me so I can tell you more and more.. I love YOU.. as I am holding Your hand.. My hand just can't let Go.. and It is killing me because I know that it is time for me to go.. I am looking at your Picture.. sitting by the window.. Looking UP at the Moon.. and just being able to fly across the Moon.. asking the Angel if I can borrow two Wings.. I have written another Letter.. I want to give you this Letter that is in my Hands.. when I came Home.. I saw the Angel waiting for Me.. My Heart broken into pieces and started to Miss YOU all over again.. When can I see YOU again.. when can I see YOU.. WHY do I keep on missing YOU.. and I am looking at the Angel.. Can I borrow the two wings again.. I made a Promise to YOU that I am going to give YOU another Letter.. just to tell YOU how I truly feel.. just to share to YOU about what is deep in my Mind.. deep in my thoughts.. just to tell you that I love YOU.. Only if YOU can accept the Letter I give.. will you take the Letter again.. When I saw the Angel.. who was waiting for me.. I would ask this Angel.. How can I be an Angel.. because I just want to be close to YOU.. even though I do not ask for your Love.. I am not asking YOU.. can YOU love me.. it is what is in my Heart.. who is the One loving YOU.. I am truly feeling like I am filled and Full just by loving YOU.. and the Angel would look at me.. if I become the An angel.. I can't ever be with YOU.. but can be Near YOU.. be close to YOU and Just love YOU from the Far.. from the distance just to be there and just to love YOU and Only thing I can do is miss YOU.. and I would ask the Angel.. am I able to share.. tell and write letters to YOU.. the Angel tells me.. I still can.. I can always love YOU.. and able to tell you.. express the Joy of loving YOU.. I do remember begging this Angel.. that I needed to borrow the two wings.. or if I can be an Angel instead.. as long as I can love YOU.. as long as I can write you Letters to tell YOU how much I love YOU.. so I made the Deal with Angel.. he is going to bring me two wings and gives to me as a Gift and I will become Your Angel.. the One who loves YOU from a far and from distance.. I do remember sitting by the desk.. pulling Out the White Sheet of Clean Paper.. grabbing a Pen and started to write YOU a Letter.. to tell YOU this.. I would say.. I am Your Angel.. Please do not be afraid of Me.. but to know how much I love YOU.. when I get close to the window and the Sun goes down and the Moon with the Stars comes UP the sky.. I would open the Window and stare into the Night.. just thinking of YOU.. just missing YOU always.. I do not want to miss you any more.. there is this Ache in my Heart.. there is this Pain in my soul.. looking into the Night.. Looking at the Moon.. I am watching the Moon looking at me.. and when I look at the Moon.. I think of YOU.. YOU keep on crossing my Mind.. I can feel this pain.. a sharp Pain because I want to be close to YOU.. When can I see YOU.. When can I come close to YOU and reveal to YOU that It is Me who be loving you the Most.. would you please let me come close.. so that I don't have to keep on missing YOU.. I feel like I needs to make this Move first.. that I needs to get close.. even though I may not be able to be with YOU.. I know that if I am your Angel.. at least I get to see YOU.. see you closer and able to love you More because I don't miss YOU.. this wall.. this distance that is not able to let me get to YOU.. I know that I must break down the wall.. break down the distance.. this missing YOU.. so that I can be at least to tell YOU that I love YOU.. it is driving me Insane.. it is driving me crazy Now because I know my Heart.. I know what is IN my Heart and WHO I be loving for such a Long time.. that is why Now.. I just want to be close.. would you please accept these Letters that I write.. I just want to tell you what crosses my Mind.. and that without YOU.. I know that I can't Live.. without YOU I can't breathe so Please Help me to Love YOU more.. as I am writing on the Clean Sheet of Paper.. and I hear the Knock on the window.. and I turn to Look.. it is the Angel who has brought me the gift.. the two Wings.. NO more asking to borrow but Now I have two wings.. Once I put the two Wings on the Back.. I will become Your Angel.. who can be near YOU.. Not missing YOU no More.. I see the Angel leaves the two Wings by the Window and He leaves.. I am looking at your Picture.. I am so sorry that I have to be an Angel.. only thing I can do is to be Close.. just to be there and just loving you from the Distance.. But I do get to tell you how much I love YOU.. at least I have the Voice to share from these letters.. to tell you I love YOU.. for so long.. I have never stopped loving YOU.. will you please let me Love YOU still.. as I open the Window and grabbing the two wings.. I am looking at them.. both hands holding the two wings.. I am looking at your Picture sitting on the top of the desk.. I can't breathe.. because it is so Hard for me to breathe right Now.. I want to go.. I want to be with YOU Now.. if I can't do this.. I know I be going crazy.. so please understand why I am doing this for YOU.. I put the two Wings on my Back.. and I fall on the Floor.. and crying.. as I am holding your Picture.. IN my hand is your Picture.. I want to be with YOU.. I want to be with YOU forever.. If I stay here.. I know that I will miss you more.. and Missing YOU drives me Crazy and in such great pain.. I feel aches all over my body.. I am wiping my tears as I am looking at your Picture.. why do I have to be so far from YOU.. why do YOU have to live so far that I must do this.. WHY.. as I feel this Change.. I become Your Angel.. but as long as I can still love YOU and tell YOU How much I love YOU.. I don't care what happens to Me.. as long as YOU know.. YOU know that My Love for you is surreal.. that I love you for real.. and as long as YOU get this Message.. I am looking at the Bottle.. I been taking few shots.. before I would write you a Letter.. I would have the shot Glass.. and with the Bottle of Rice Wine.. I would pour on the Shot Glass.. My Heart could not take this Pain.. this Ache.. so I started to drink.. so that I don't feel this Pain in my Heart.. help Me to love YOU.. Help me by accepting the Letters so that I know that I have a chance to Love YOU... as I would stand UP.. on two feet.. I would roll the Paper and I would grab the Empty Bottle of the rice wine.. put the Rolled paper into the Bottle.. and I am standing.. walking to the window.. and I am looking at the Moon.. I would walk away from the room and go out side.. as I am standing outside.. One hand holding your Picture.. Looking at your Picture.. and On the Other hand I holding the Letter inside the Bottle.. I know that I must get to YOU.. I must fly over the Moon and go where YOU at.. Please be where I met YOU.. Please know that I am coming and I am going to YOU.. I have just written a Letter.. I have told YOU in the letter.. I have asked the Angel.. if I can be Your Angel.. so that I can be near YOU and love you from the distance.. if I stay here.. How can I show YOU that I love YOU.. How can I tell YOU that I love YOU.. so Now.. just standing here.. going out side and just looking at the Moon is Not going to do anything for Me.. I hope that when YOU receive the Message.. the Letter inside this Bottle.. will you open the Letter.. will you please accept and read it.. because I put so much time and thoughts.. my Heart into each Letter.. letting YOU know How much I miss YOU.. I miss you that It drives me Insane.. I miss you that it drives me crazy.. if YOU can't come to me.. then I will go to YOU.. but Now as your Angel.. please accept my Heart.. Please accept the Letters I give YOU.. and I am looking UP the MOON as I am speaking from My Heart.. I am looking UP at the Moon and telling these Words to the Moon.. I know that YOU can't hear me.. because of the distance.. for being so far away.. but I will let you know soon as I fly over the Moon to the Place you are.. Please Open YOUR Heart.. Please let me In.. Open your Heart for Me.. and please don't reject how much I love YOU.. how much I miss YOU.. Please open your Heart and receive and accept.. I am crying Out as I am saying these things.. LOOKING UP at the Moon.. Looking at your Picture.. Holding hard on the Bottle.. I want to give.. I want to give as much as I can.. I want to give YOU how much I love YOU.. I just want to give you my ALL.. my everything to YOU.. and the two wings starts to flap.. as I feel myself being lifted from the Ground.. WHY must I change to Love YOU.. why can't I love you for Me.. WHY do I must
The Small Two bed room Home.. I am wondering.. why did I even buy a House with two rooms.. I have no one coming over.. but I know that If I prepare the place.. Maybe.. some one will show Up.. I have never met the person who use to Live in this Small Log Cabin house.. as I walk into One of the rooms.. There is a Desk.. I wonder why someone has left this Desk Behind.. something stops me before I turn to walk away.. I see something on the TOP of the Desk.. what is It.. I am wondering.. what is It.. SO I would walk closer to the Desk.. there is a Written Note.. and Next to the Note is a Picture.. of course I can only see the back of the Picture.. I am wondering.. maybe it must be the Picture of the Person who use to live in this Small Log Cabin House.. But why would some one leave a precious Gift behind.. if I lived in this House.. I know for sure I will Not leave anything special.. or Precious to me behind.. But.. should I turn the Picture over to see who this Person is.. I am standing there.. thinking of.. but I know that this is Not my picture.. WHY would I turn it over to look if it is Not for Me.. I am sure.. maybe the Person was in a rush.. and has forgotten to take this Picture.. but.. WHY would YOU write a Note for me.. I know that the written Note.. it is telling me.. giving me an instruction.. but why would you tell me something.. I can just live whatever I want.. I see the Note Next to the Picture.. Both are facing where I cannot see.. as I would stop.. maybe I should take a Look.. must be very important if YOU have written for the New Home Owner.. which I have purchased this Small Log Cabin Home from YOU.. I have never met YOU.. but Of course I do remember before the Contract.. YOU called me on the Phone.. and Got a chance to listen to Your Beautiful Voice.. Now.. I am very curious.. YOUR voice.. truly felt like I was listening to an Angel.. I know that If you sang a SONG.. I bet it would melt my Heart like the Snow Flakes.. I would stand Out side.. before I came to the DOOR.. to Unlock.. I would LOOK Up to the sky.. My hand opens.. I would watch the Falling snow flakes.. when It touched my hand.. it just melted and maybe Your Voice.. if YOU sang to Me.. My Heart can melt the way the Snow Flakes can melt into my hands.. I was smiling because I been living in apartment for a Long time.. just paying rent to rent monthly.. But.. Now.. able to purchase a new Home.. Out here in the Country side.. walking and climbing on the mountains.. just enjoying the fresh cold air as I would be walking through the Snow.. never felt so Alive in my life.. But Now.. I am here.. inside this Small Log Cabin Home.. and I just walked into a ROOM.. YOU did not take the desk.. there is a Picture laying on the TOP of the desk face down.. with a written Note facing down.. I am just wondering.. I remember when I picked UP the Phone.. and hearing your voice on the Other side.. on the Other line.. Your Voice.. it truly touched my Heart.. I begin to wonder more about YOU because of this Sensational touch.. Your Voice moved my Heart.. I felt it kick inside of Me.. and never felt that way before.. so I would start wondering.. I wonder How YOU would look.. as YOU were so happy to sell the House and even telling me Congratulation on the purchase of the New Home.. as I would share with YOU how I lived in rents all my Life.. but able to get a house means everything to me.. giving me a great deal in the purchase.. of course I wanted to ask YOU.. if YOU can sing.. because I wanted to know if YOU can sing.. can YOU sing a song so that I can listen to Your voice with my Heart opened.. but of course I never asked.. YOU probably think I am a crazy person.. as I am standing by the desk.. My hand grabs the Picture.. I wanted to turn it over.. I wanted to see the person who I just spoke with ON the Phone.. YOUR voice.. I just want to hear again.. can I listen to Your Voice.. would you let me call you on the Phone so that I can listen.. My Heart wants to listen to Your Voice again.. before I want to ask YOU.. I want to know how you look.. why are you so Nice.. why are you so kind to me.. I want to know who YOU are.. WHY would you leave this Picture behind if YOU have never met me.. if YOU have never seen me in person.. why leave me Your Precious gift.. Your Special gift.. I am nothing but a stranger to YOU.. what if I am a weird person.. some crazy person.. would YOU not be afraid of Me.. As I grab the Picture and turn to LOOK at it.. I see YOU sitting.. and My Heart jumps.. My Heart skips missing that Beat.. Just like Your Voice.. soft and beautiful.. I see your picture.. I see YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful too.. YOU are so Lovely.. feels like YOU can take my breathe way.. then what happens to my Breathe if you take it from Me.. what are you doing to me Now.. WHY leave this Picture behind and when I see this Picture.. I can feel my Breathe.. it wants to be released from Me.. I can't breathe.. my eyes wants to say I can't breathe because YOU are so Beautiful.. as I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. YOU are sitting down.. and I am wondering what is it that YOU are holding.. Why are you holding a Vase.. is it a vase for flowers.. I am not sure why YOU are leaving this Picture with Me.. what does it means.. why are you showing me this Picture for.. I have no clue.. I have no idea.. but why are you letting me see this picture.. and making my Heart to say I want to cry.. I have never met you before.. But How is this possible for Me.. why do I feel like I want to love YOU.. please tell me how can this be true because I have never met you before.. as I am looking at your arms holding this vase.. why is it empty.. are YOU not suppose to put something into that Vase.. it is an empty Vase Your hands are holding.. Please.. OH Please tell me what is the meaning of this because I want to know.. I have no clue.. I have no idea why you are showing me this.. I don't see any empty Vase.. but only this Picture.. with a Note.. so I would go over.. my hand grabs the Note and flips to look.. and YOU have written to me about the Picture.. and telling me about the Vase.. an Empty Vase.. and YOU have left it on the Other Room.. and I am not sure why YOU would tell me this.. what am I suppose to do with the Empty Vase.. I don't have any flowers.. and all it tells me to take good care of the Empty Vase.. and Now.. YOU are letting me to keep it.. so I am standing in this room wondering.. YOU are giving me this Empty Vase.. but I have no flowers to put in it.. so what am I suppose to do with this.. SO I would turn around walking out of this room.. the Other room is next on the right.. as I enter the second room.. There is another Desk.. and ON top of the Desk is the Vase.. an empty Vase sitting on the top of the Desk.. am I suppose to tell you something about this vase.. am I suppose to share with YOU what I want to do because it is Not making any sense with me a this Point.. I feel like I am Not the Owner of this House anymore.. since YOU are leaving things behind for me to take care of It.. I am not a male servant.. and NO.. I am not here to clean this House either.. I just purchased this House from YOU.. but WHY do I feel like there is a person who Owns it and maybe I am just renting this Place.. that is how I am feeling because.. I have to watch over things that does Not belongs to me.. I have brought my own bags and luggage so that NOW I can live in this house.. and I stand on the second room.. Looking at the Vase.. has water inside this Vase so it is Not completely empty.. but still looks empty to Me.. so I walk over to the second Desk.. I see a Picture with the Face Down.. so is it a Prank.. is this a joke because I am not feeling it at this Point.. my hand grabs and I turn to look at the front.. I see a Picture of a Heart.. as I am looking at the picture closer.. YOU have taken a picture of a Heart shape.. it is a Pillow I can see.. but why are you showing me this Picture.. I know that I love Heart.. but what does it means.. why are you doing this to Me.. are you playing games with me.. saying there is a Picture in the second room.. maybe YOU love pillows with Heart shape.. are you trying to tell me something through the two pictures YOU have put face down.. and there is a Number written on the corner of this Picture.. and I know that It is Your Number.. Looking at my phone.. I would check if this NUMBER is the same Number you called me on the phone.. and It matches correctly.. I am very confused.. I am so Confused because why would you show me these things if YOU don't know me.. and there is a Note also.. it was next to the Picture.. My hand goes over to grab the Note and I turn it over to take a LOOK.. and I would read it.. it says.. Do you remember Me.. when we were YOUNG.. because NOW I remember YOU is what the Note been written ON.. and I am thinking.. Have we ever met before.. DID I see you when we were YOUNG.. I don't really remember meeting any one when we were Young.. but it seems like YOU know me.. why would you tell me this.. Maybe YOU are writing to another person.. but then knowing that it is I who just purchased this House.. It has to be for Me.. who else lives in this House.. I am the only one who bought this House from YOU.. so I know that we met before.. and telling me when were young.. HOW long was this.. How old was I when I met YOU.. Please tell me.. and I am thinking about calling YOU on the Phone.. But.. I am Not just going to call YOU and say I don't remember YOU.. so How am I suppose to answer this question because I don't remember.. I am trying to go back.. way way way back to see if I do remember you.. I am closing both eyes.. Both.. Nothing I can see back then.. why.. when did we ever meet before.. I am looking at Your Picture.. the Picture of YOU holding.. arms around the Empty Vase.. and I would look at the Picture.. WHEN was it that we meet.. I have No clue
Oink Oink. To tell you that My Heart is dying.. it is dying became My Heart wants to love YOU.. but to say.. to tell YOU something will Not be enough for this Heart to smile once again.. as I am looking at your Picture.. I can't stop these tears that is coming Out.. rolling Out of my eyes.. LOOKING at your Picture drives me crazy.. it makes me crazy because I know that right Now my Heart is dying.. I want to put your Picture away.. PUT it out of my Life but the More I try to push your Picture away.. I can feel it telling me to bring that Picture Back.. and I am Looking as I turn to this Empty Glass Jar.. which is sitting on this Table in the room.. and I know that when I look at this Table.. and I turn to look at the Glass Jar.. when it is Empty.. I want to put something into this Empty GLASS JAR and I want to shout Words and say something because it is what I am Seeing when I lift to LOOK at the desktop Computer monitor.. I look at the screen.. and ALL I can do is look at the key board.. what AM I TO DO.. what AM I to say to YOU.. what can I SAY to make it right.. for YOUR HEART to know what I feel that when I LOOK at my Heart.. My Heart is screaming inside of Me.. and tells me that I AM DYING.. dying for the Love that I need from YOU.. will you Please accept these words of mine that I am telling YOU that I know I still love YOU.. does these WORDS means anything to YOU YET.. I am hoping that as Much I can tell YOU.. would it really matter when YOU receive it.. do you accept these Words.. DO you believe that it is ME who has been loving YOU or you still thinks that this is ALL a JOKE.. I would lift UP my head looking UP the Desktop computer screen.. before my Hands touch the keyboard.. before my fingers pushes into the key boards of this Desktop Computer monitor.. I needs to see Your Picture.. or my Heart says I am dying.. My eyes needs to grab HOLD UNTO your Picture and I would turn and I would LOOK at the Empty Glass Jar sitting next to the Key Board of the desktop computer.. but when I LOOK at the empty Glass Jar.. I can't see anything.. I can't find anything.. what if YOUR HEART was inside this Empty Glass Jar.. would I need to LOOK at the Keyboard to type and write to YOU.. would I turn to lift UP my Head to LOOK at the desktop computer monitor screen.. it always starts with a Blank screen.. and I would have to put.. say and type and write.. but there are times that when I want to say something to YOU more than LOOKING at the Blank computer Monitor screen.. that is why I would have the Empty Glass Jar close to me.. it goes with me.. and when ever I want to see something.. I would place the Empty Glass Jar even though right NOW.. it may be nothing in it.. I want to ask YOU.. I need your Heart.. I need your Big Heart.. I want to have your Big Heart.. all this time I been wanting.. all this time I been asking and needing your Big Heart.. that is why even in the room.. JUST in Case.. even though I have the Key Board.. I have the Pen and the Pencil.. Papers.. even I have the Desktop computer Monitor with me all in One ROOM.. I would have this Empty Glass Jar with your Picture near to Me.. most of the times I be typing and writing on the Keyboard.. LOOKING UP at the Desktop computer Monitor and LOOKING at the White Sheet of paper.. but when I want to LOOK for something More.. I would LOOK at your Picture.. and Close my two eyes.. and I would Picture in my Head.. Your Big Heart.. I see your Big Heart slowly coming Down and sits inside this Empty Glass Jar.. and I would smile when I look at your Big Heart.. My arms would stretch Out.. as it wraps around the Glass Jar.. I would place my cheek and can feel the coldness glass of the Jar and I would turn so that My ear.. I would ask.. I would like to hear your Big Heart beating.. can YOU Please give me the sound.. will YOUR BIG HEART beat when I get close to your BIG HEART.. and I would turn.. and I would whisper looking at the Glass Jar.. LOOKING at the BIG HEART.. can Your Heart Hear me.. Can YOUR HEART hear my voice.. can I tell YOUR HEART that I love you.. that I been missing YOU for such a LONG TIME.. Please tell your Big Heart.. I love you.. Please tell your Big Heart how much I missed YOU.. missed you so Much that Even with looking at your Picture.. it seems like you are so Close when I look at your Picture but I know that deep inside my Heart.. YOU are not here.. and I would ask your BIG HEART looking at the Glass Jar.. when can I see YOU.. because I know that YOU are still Not here.. do you know how much I am aching when I don't see YOU.. can't feel you so Close.. that It hurts me.. in so much pain I can feel this ache.. because I know that YOU belong in my arms.. YOU belong with me.. in my arms you know that I can love you always.. YOU Know that I can love you forever and ever and tell YOU thousand years goes BY.. that I love YOU.. even ten years even twenty years.. thirty years.. sixty years goes by one hundred years goes by as long as I can live.. I know that I can love you still.. but I don't want to open my two eyes.. I can't open them yet because I know what will happen when I do.. when I open both eyes.. and IN MY ARMS I am still holding.. this Glass Jar.. when I open both eyes I be holding.. but I will NOT see your Big Heart.. I will only see the Empty Glass Jar and what happens to my eyes when I can't see your BIG HEART.. I get more emotionally about it.. I needs to cry because without YOUR BIG HEART.. I know that I can't say the words to YOU that I love you.. I want to tell YOUR BIG HEART that I been loving YOU.. do you believe the Words.. and when I open both of my eyes and I look at the Glass Jar.. I do not see your Big Heart.. my hands grabbing unto the Glass Jar.. and I am crying for your Big Heart.. I love you.. where are you.. Where is Your Big Heart.. I just saw your Big Heart inside this Glass Jar but now I don't see Your Big Heart any more and I am shaking the Empty Glass Jar.. and sobbing and crying as I am looking for your Big Heart.. and I turn to LOOK at the Key Board.. looking UP at the desktop computer monitor is the white screen.. now I am missing YOU.. and Now I needs to tell you something because I know that I will suffer.. I will drown in despair.. I will die if I can't tell you what is in my Heart.. that I need you right Now.. that I need you.. but I am LOOKING and asking for Your Big Heart.. I need to see your Big Heart so that I can tell YOU that I love you.. am I still allow to tell YOU without I am seeing your Big Heart.. OH PLEASE.. give me Your Big Heart.. OH PLEASE.. tell me where did you Hide your BIG HEART.. I need to now because it is Killing me right Now.. do you want me to die.. do you want me to dig my own grave and bury myself alive.. then please.. OH PLEASE tell me where are you hiding your Big Heart.. I need Your Big Heart.. send your BIG HEART to my direction so that I can tell YOUR BIG HEART that I love you.. to tell you that I love you still and that I am dying in missing you right Now.. as I would look at the desktop computer monitor screen.. I would look at the Key board to type to you my Heart and I would say to YOU.. I feel like I am so Lost and so Confused.. that whenever I would close both eyes of Mine and I would turn to LOOK at the empty Glass Jar.. when Both eyes are Open.. I would LOOK and I would Not see anything inside.. and I just don't understand that when I close both of my eyes.. it is when I can see YOUR BIG HEART.. it floats down slowly and Enters in the Glass Jar and I am able to look at HOW BIG that Heart of Yours are.. and I would smile Looking at the Big Heart.. I want to touch your Big Heart.. I would even think of putting my hand inside from the TOP of the opening of the Glass Jar.. to see How would it feel to TOUCH your Big Heart.. can I pull your Big Heart and IN MY ARMS hold it.. I want to hold your BIG HEART in my arms and to watch it snuggle.. can I kiss your BIG HEART holding in my arms and LOOKING at it with a BIG SMILE.. of course I don't want to scare your Heart.. your BIG HEART.. so the only thing that I can do is look at your BIG HEART through the Glass of the Glass Jar.. I want to keep my both eyes closed because that is the ONLY way I can see your BIG HEART sitting inside the Glass Jar.. when my eyes are opened.. I am so sad.. and Missing YOU so Bad.. and I want to say because I would pull to hold unto your Picture.. when I LOOK at your Picture.. My Heart just burns and I look at the Glass Jar which is empty.. I look to look for YOUR BIG HEART.. that is why I get so upset when I have to open the two eyes NOT TO see your BIG HEART anymore.. but when I do close the two eyes.. I see your Big Heart inside the Glass Jar.. I am able to get close to the Glass.. and I am able to say some words.. like I love looking at this BIG HEART.. YOU have a BIG HEART.. so BIG makes me smile even bigger.. because YOUR BIG HEART has enough room for me to say a lot more than I can.. to able to say much more I am so much happier because I can tell you that My Heart.. that it is ME who is loving YOU.. I am loving YOU more.. do you know that.. but once I have to open two eyes.. I am LOOKING at the empty Glass Jar in front of me.. in the ROOM this empty Glass jar sits on top of the table.. My hands holding on the sides of the Glass Jar.. I don't see your Big Heart.. My Tears running down.. I am missing YOU.. I miss YOU.. I miss your Big Heart.. and I would pull out your Picture and LOOK at you through the Picture.. and I would turn to LOOK at the Key Board.. my hands on the key board and fingers starts to push into the Letters of the keyboard and I am able to tell you HOW my Heart is feeling and my mind of thinking of you.. and missing you as I am looking UP at the desktop computer monitor screen.. and I am able to read a Letter I am writing to YOU that I love you and I am missing you
I am looking at the Wall of this Work Shop.. it breaks my Heart that YOU are not here any More.. you told me and YOU have promised Me that YOU would come visit Me and I would be waiting for YOU.. I could Not even close this Work Shop because I would think about that what IF YOU would stop By and YOU told me.. even after YOU broke My Heart leaving me Speechless as you went with another Man.. when I find OUT and HE came to this Work Shop and I would remember picking UP the Phone and I heard his voice which was a very familiar voice and wanted me to bring some Flowers out of the back of this garden.. telling me that HE wanted to give to the Special Person who he loved and wanted to show ME who and this FLOWERS in the back of the Garden.. I started this Flower shop because It was meant to show YOU that I loved YOU first.. I wanted to surprise you that I gave my whole Heart.. I put my whole time building this Work shop but it is a FLOWER shop just to remind YOU that I loved YOU first.. and I remember you came IN.. and wanted to help.. wanted to work with me and I would show YOU the Garden.. what these seeds that I would sow into the grounds meant to me.. and the Seeds would grow and produce and reproduce as it brought forth a FLOWER.. I remember you telling me when you saw the Flowers.. Those were.. these FLOWERS were your most favorite flowers and it was YOU who gave them the Names to each Flowers.. it was the day when the friend of Mine came to pick UP the Flowers.. I would cut the leaves off and he wanted a DOZEN of these Flowers and I was so happy for this friend of mine.. and I put into the Flowers Box.. the Door opens and He comes to pick up the Boxes.. and I wanted to see the Person he wanted to present to me but YOU did not come.. of course YOU came that Night and when I saw YOU coming into this Flower Work Shop and YOU telling me that YOU wanted to stop working and had to quit.. and that YOU are moving far away and with the man you told me you loved.. and I had to hear all this at once.. I saw you bringing back the Flower's Box and I knew who he was because I am the One who gave the Dozen of these Flowers and put into this same Box.. I just could not believe this.. why Must I have to find it this Hard to believe.. why do I must be the ONE to be hurt the Most.. YOU know that I am the One who Loves you the Most.. I can Love you so Much Better and so Much stronger because I know that I started to love YOU when I was at the Orphan house.. we were very young.. and never thought that I would start to love you then.. I wanted someone to Love.. for understand that I can Love you more and More and It seems like you never get it.. I know that I am Poor.. and seems Like I have nothing to give.. to be Honest truth.. Material things and Money is NOT my fit.. I may be very poor and Broke.. I may not have the Lavish things that YOU can dream of.. but I know what Love is and what happens when a MAN truly understand HOW to love a Woman Like YOU.. but It hurts me and breaks me when we are NOT in the same page together.. I am not asking for YOU to Love me back.. when did I ever forced YOU to say LOVE ME.. I have never wanted because I just wanted to Love you as a MAN can Love a WOMAN.. YOU have showed UP when My Life was torn into pieces and when it seems like everything that I loved has been taken away from Me.. I lost my family.. and had to move into this Orphan Home.. I had NO HOPE.. NO DREAM.. I had NOTHING but just everything TORN apart and I wanted to DIE.. I did Not want to Live anymore.. there was NOTHING FOR ME TO LIVE for and I was with Bunch of these Children who was broken as MUCH as ME.. how can these others LIKE myself can help Me.. and I was crushed.. my spirit and my soul.. my Heart was crushed and I would be crying in the Night.. asking why am I still breathing.. why am I still be living For.. that is when YOU came with your Both Parents.. WHY did you come when I was helpless and hopeless part of my Life.. when everything seems like there is NO WORTH in my Life.. but YOU came.. I did Not want to talk to anyone.. just wanted to be a Loner instead.. I remember YOU came and YOU sat next to me.. there was NOT much of words of exchange.. but It is Your Presences.. YOU do NOT have to say much because YOUR SMILE is all I needed at that time of my despair.. I remember Your parents would keep on bringing you over to visit.. and the Poor Children who had NO family.. they started to want to get close to YOU.. YOU would be sharing a lot of stories.. especially going to the Private school.. and How the Best of the teachers were the ones teaching YOU.. and How you fell in love with this One Art Class and many of these Children who came from the Broken world.. just wanted to listen to what YOU had to say.. I would be turned the other way.. did NOT wanted to be a Part.. but wanted to sit Outside alone.. I would be crying most of the time because I felt everything is NO FAIR for Me.. and I do remember YOU came Over and YOU sat next to Me.. and YOU told me this as YOU show me this One Picture You drew in the art class.. asking me why I was NOT inside with the Other Children who loves to listen to the stories that YOUR PARENTS would be sharing as missionaries of the poor countries and I just could not be a part if what I would say to YOU.. that My Heart is hurting me so Much.. and YOU gave me this ONE GIFT.. that Picture hit the Number ONE in your Class as the Art Teacher gave YOU and How it went into the Nationals and YOU have won the Prize.. of course I saw it on the News because it was broadcast every where and I would look at it.. in my hands is the Art Sketch Paper.. that YOU drew this One Flower.. a SUN FLOWER but it was so Unique.. it was different the want YOU drew and colored It and YOU telling me that ONE DAY.. you will find this ONE UNIQUE SUN FLOWER and as I would look at this Picture.. the more I looked at it.. the More I started to Love it for some reason.. and I had never felt this way Before.. I remember after YOU gave me this Art Sketch Paper.. YOU were gone for awhile and YOU just got so Busy with schooling and for YOUR Future of becoming a Surgeon.. I remember I left the Orphan HOUSE and started to travel.. Looking for a way I can find this Kind of Wild Flower.. this Unique SUNFLOWER and I was able to go to a Far land where a MAN would sell this Seed.. the MAN tells me that HE was Not sure but can be true.. I would open this Work shop which is all about selling Flowers.. and I wanted to show YOU that this FLOWER is real because I know it came from YOU.. I believe it because I loved YOU then.. I know that I could Not say a word then because I was shy and the TIME was Not right then.. but I had to wait.. when I saw the Flower.. the Unique Sun Flower YOU drew which went to the Nationals and WON the grand prize I wanted to show YOU that when YOU love as much as YOU believe that IT can happen and it exist.. the believe of Loving YOU.. it does comes true.. but I know that IT has to be at the right TIME.. or I can mess up everything I have waited.. When I saw YOU coming to help Me.. and YOU wanted to help me to build this Flower work shop.. It got so Popular.. and A lot of people noticed who you were because the SAME UNIQUE SUN FLOWER went Out into the News and was known everywhere.. when the People find Out where it was many people came to this Work Shop and as I would show YOU.. it was my dream come true when YOU were with me helping Me.. I watched YOU leave after YOU told me the Breaking News about How you have some Other Man to Love.. and YOU left.. I wanted to close this Work shop.. this Flower Shop because If felt abandon without YOU.. I would see you everywhere even though you were Gone.. and I reached a Point that I was so sick.. that I needed to close this SHOP and just could not work for a while.. of course many years went down the Line since I would come across YOU.. which I remember I had to go to the Clinic and I would be waiting quietly siting for My Name to be called after making the Appointment.. I remember I went into this One ROOM and Sat down waiting.. I would never thought that I would see you again.. as I was sitting on the chair in the room of where YOU came in.. I saw YOU.. and I just wanted to cry.. because I missed YOU so Much.. I missed you to Death and to endure this pain of missing.. this suffering of this Heart ache inside of Me.. I could Not say a WORD to YOU.. I just wanted to get rid of My Heart.. I would see you stand there.. and asking why I am here and I would finally Tell YOU.. even though many times I wanted to say it back Then.. I would say it in my dreams.. every time I saw you in the dreams and YOU would be at the Work Shop of the Flowers or In the Orphan House when we were YOUNG.. I would come Out as bold.. but in reality I just could NOT say a Word.. and I knew that this was the Only chance to tell YOU before it is going to be TOO late to ever come across you again.. and I would look at YOU and I would say.. I came here to get a surgery.. that My Heart is dying inside of Me and My Heart is sick.. I really Need a New Heart.. a Healthy Heart which does NOT cause me to be sick anymore like this.. I feel like I needs to CUT my Heart Off and that is why I came to the Heart surgeon.. and I would say to YOU as you are the Heart Surgeon.. I have kept this Inside of me For a Long time.. because I did NOT want to ruin our friendship.. always wanted to be close to YOU.. and I started to Miss you more and More.. when YOU left the Workshop.. the Flower Shop.. I started to Miss YOU.. I would close my eyes and I would see you there.. even when My eyes are wide Opened I still see you there.. what do I do.. I had to wait
More years to go by to KNOW what is WRONG with the Heart of Mine.. I been missing YOU as soon as YOU left and could NOT tell you the WORDS that I needed to say then.. that I loved YOU when I was very young.. and I would see you stop.. the Day YOU came close to me when I was Out side alone.. and YOU sat next to me.. YOU gave me this One Picture.. the Art sketch Picture YOU drew of the Unique SUN FLOWER.. when YOU gave me this Picture.. it was truly special in my eyes and I felt something that NIGHT.. I felt ALIVE that It was YOU who gave me even something that seems to be so SMALL.. but How that One Picture was broadcast to the News and even won the Grand Prize in the National stage.. it shows me something.. I would tell myself that ONE DAY I am going to surprise YOU and it be the DAY when I find this ONE UNIQUE SUN FLOWER and let you see what happens when a MAN truly Loves a WOMAN like YOU.. and I made a Journey after I left that Orphan House.. going and finding the seeds and also researching about this Seed what I must do to grow it into and the Kind of soils that I needed to use for it to help it to grow.. to produce and reproduce into this UNIQUE SUN FLOWER.. I know that I hid this feeling from you for a long time but before I get rid of this Heart and I came to YOU as the Heart surgeon and I believe YOU are the right person to Take this Heart of Mine away and give me a New Heart.. which that Heart may never Love again.. It hurts me to love YOU because I can't eat right.. I can't sleep in the Night.. I am always thinking of YOU and just missing YOU and the Best thing I can do for NOW is for YOU to remove My Heart away from YOU.. and as I am looking at the One Picture.. the Unique Sun Flower I even brought to Show the Heart surgeon.. it is YOUR DRAWING and the Painting.. I wanted to look at it for the last Time before I removed My Heart.. but I see that YOU are the right Artist.. I have tried everything.. even you saw years back HOW it made the Hit.. and How so many people came to the Flower Work Shop for this UNIQUE WILD SUN FLOWER.. people went crazy when It was true.. when I showed it to the people and you were there helping ME and working together in that Flower Shop.. NOW YOU are gone and has moved On.. and My Heart is so SICK that I came here to get the Heart surgery.. I want to give this Back to YOU.. because NOW I know how much I love YOU.. I have never stopped believe that ONE DAY YOU will know how much I love YOU.. never thought it would be this very day.. the day I came to get my Heart Surgery.. and I know I came to the right place.. to the right person because IT IS YOU who I love.. I been loving YOU for such a LONG TIME.. I am Not afraid to let My Heart to GO.. I was scared to lose you then and Maybe that is the reason why YOU have left.. but NOW.. I know I am going to remove this Heart away so I can say it before I let this Heart GO.. Please give me a NEW HEART.. so I can start everything from the scratch.. Please help my Heart to rest in Peace because YOU know that I never stopped Loved YOU and I still love YOU now.. maybe even More because after I saw the Flower WORKSHOP Flourish and how the BUSINESS of selling Flowers Boomed into success.. I know that I have loved the right Person because loving YOU means everything to Me and forever to Me.. I am looking through the Window.. In the Work Shop.. I see YOU.. I remember I grabbed your wrist.. and I told YOU.. I love YOU.. for a Long time.. I just could Not take my Mind Off of YOU.. asking YOU.. can I be the One who can Love you for the rest of My Life.. will you let me.. I know that I made the situation worst when I grabbed your wrist.. I just wanted to express my Heart but did not mean to come out that strong to You.. I saw you turning your Head away from Me.. and Looking towards another direction.. I knew that I had to let Go.. YOU told me that YOU did not want to work here any more.. of course I knew the answer clearly.. as I open my hand and let go of your wrist.. you wanted to tell me something.. and told me that YOU were seeing someone else.. but I knew that person well.. and my Heart.. I just knew that My confession of telling you came too late.. But I was holding in for so long.. why did YOU not wait.. why did you tell me that YOU wanted to be loved by someone else.. But.. I know that I bee here all along.. YOU knew that I felt something towards YOU.. even though I did Not have to say the words.. by the smile and my actions should of told YOU already.. but Now.. is it really late for me to tell YOU that I love YOU.. can you please receive My Love.. can you please open your heart just a little for Me.. I need to know.. I need a chance you know.. if I am the One for YOU.. did YOU not ever think about that.. I can really be the One who can love you for so long.. but if you do not give me that Chance.. you will never know How far I can truly love YOU and tell YOU how much I love YOU.. are you really going to let this Chance go.. and I would turn.. trying to look at YOU.. but.. I see that YOU are moving and pushing me away.. but.. I know I can too love YOU.. WHY can't you just reconsider.. and please give a time for yourself.. Let me know that I can too love YOU.. is it that Hard for you to know.. I know that I can Love YOU too.. maybe I can be a Better Lover.. I can love you more because YOU brought this Inspiring of Love to Me.. will you please consider and think about what I have said to YOU.. I see you turning away and telling me you have already made it known and made it clear to me that YOU love another man.. and I would watch you walking away.. and I would turn away toward your Direction.. wait.. do you have to end it like this.. can you not give me a Chance too.. if you do not open your heart.. if you keep it close.. you will know that I have loved you More.. so Please.. open your heart.. I know I can Love you better.. I can Love you More.. only please.. stop and wait.. I watch the Door open.. and I see you walk out the Door and the door closes.. I am thinking about the day you left me.. I was building this work Shop just for YOU.. YOU told me that YOU loved Flowers.. I asked you what is your Interest.. what makes you smile.. what do you like to see.. what makes you cry.. what makes you happy and as a friend you told me many things.. I collected and gathered.. YOU told me that YOU wanted to see a lot of Flowers.. Out of the woods.. some of the trees had to be cut Down.. and the builders came and helped me to build this Work Shop out of the woods.. and I would ask what kinds of seed would bring Flowers to Life in the Garden.. and I asked few of the Plant specialists and they helped me to get these seeds and started to help me to plant.. Once these things were established I remember I asked you if you wanted to work.. and YOU told me where.. and I gave you the address.. it is a Flower Shop.. and I work there too.. and I do remember you did take the offer and started to work.. I would show you different flowers.. I would think about the flowers you loved.. when we were young.. when YOU came to the Orphan House.. I do remember you coming with your parents.. and they would always bring you Flowers.. and share to the children who had NO Parents.. I member I would see the kinds of flowers in your Hands.. each time you would bring a New Flower in your hand.. I would look at the flower.. going into my room.. I have me a Note Book.. and start to write down flowers you would bring.. it be so different.. and I have kept the Note Book for a Long time.. from Page to page.. I would smile.. as I would feel my tears roll down.. my hand touch the words of the Names of each Flower.. and I would ask the Specialist can any of these Flowers.. do you have the seeds of these flowers so that I can plant in the garden too.. I do remember some of the farmers who lived around the Area comes to help.. I would be asking if they can help me to Plant these seeds and help me to grow.. and the older People started to help as I would watch the Plants.. I saw Flowers blossom time after time.. and when the Flowers would grow.. I would think of YOU.. each has a special place in my Heart.. I would touch my Chest looking at each Unique Flowers and I wanted to show YOU.. I wanted to tell YOU something.. But I was afraid to ever tell YOU.. Just like what has happened.. YOU told me that YOU love someone else.. YOU telling me that I am Not the One.. that I am Not allowed to Love YOU.. how can YOU tell me this when I been thinking of you all this TIME.. you brought so much tears in my eyes.. My Heart was breaking.. I could not see you from the distance.. I could not believe you would say.. and just walked away.. Now I am here.. back at the Work Shop.. I have left the work Shop because of these memories causing me to Die inside.. but.. what am I suppose to do what YOU are the Love of my Life who brings me back here.. and I would stand here.. the room is dark.. I know that It is time to start over.. I am going to build this Shop again.. this Flower shop because I know that I love YOU.. does Not matter if you ever return back to me or Not.. But.. I know that I love this Place.. why because I always loved YOU.. your scent still is here.. I can still smell your scent.. and I just wanted to hold YOU near when I smell you.. so sweet and so beautiful.. as I am looking at the Window.. and I look through.. I see the tree I was standing.. and I am not sure.. but I see someone.. I am hoping it is YOU.. I want it to be YOU.. but Not YOU who breaks my Heart.. YOU who is coming back to Me.. YOU who knows how much I love YOU.. YOU who knows that I have build this work Shop.. this Flower Shop because I was inspired by Loving YOU.. to show you how much I love YOU.. and as I am getting closer toward the window and I look through.. I see YOU.. but.. is it YOU who loves
Man.. because YOU should always know that I love you first.. I watch YOU turning around and I see you looking.. I am standing by the window.. YOU are standing by the tree and My tears.. it starts to flow down.. two lines.. I know I missed YOU.. YOU know how much I miss YOU.. and YOU should now that this whole place.. It is because of YOU.. How much I love YOU.. LOOK at the flower Shop.. Look at the farmers who and helping the flowers to grow.. look at the each Flowers which has been planted.. if YOU can go back.. Do you not remember when we were young.. YOU came to a house like this.. I was at the Orphan House.. YOU came with your parents.. but you brought flowers.. different times YOU came to visit.. I would stand there.. I see you smile so Big and YOU would tell me.. too look at the Flower.. and YOU would run straight direction toward me and with a BIG SMILE.. showing me the name of the Flower.. where YOU got it.. and you be moving the Flower around.. telling me that Some day YOU are going to have your Own garden.. and In that garden grow Your flowers.. and begin to show me the different kinds of flowers you wanted to plant to grow.. of course.. I would run to the room.. and would write that on the Note Book.. and I would tell myself.. One Day I want to give you a Garden with full of flowers YOU showed me.. and give you the gift of this Garden and that is WHY I am here.. so that I can give YOU the Garden with my Heart inside.. too tell YOU I love YOU.. and I have missed you so Much.. that I have remembered that Promise.. I wanted to run away.. go as far as I could.. I try to run.. go to a different country.. different place.. but.. I could not GO.. and I ended up coming back here because I have made a Promise to myself to YOU.. I wanted to keep my Promise of giving you this Garden First.. as I would be looking through the window and YOU are standing by the tree.. I am wondering.. why are you just standing there.. YOU told me that YOU love some other.. I came here to keep my Promise I have made to YOU.. but YOU told me that YOU have some where to go.. to be loved by another.. are you still thinking about the chance.. are you going to open your heart for Me.. are you going to see if I can be a Better Lover.. who can Love you more.. are you giving me a Chance.. and I would close my eyes.. and when I open.. I look through the window across.. I don't see you any more.. I would look one more time.. and I see that YOU are gone.. as I look at your Picture.. I would smile.. I know that YOU are happy.. of course who don't want to love YOU.. I know that you have many young men who wants to love YOU.. but.. I know that I can love YOU more.. I can love you better.. because I know my Heart.. I understand my Heart knowing what Love truly is.. and to Let YOU know how much I love YOU.. I just wanted to share and tell YOU.. I never stopped loving YOU.. Only YOU who I love.. YOU are the Only One who I think of the Most.. always on my mind.. and always loving YOU first.. I just wanted to say I love you.. and always I will love YOU..I am waiting at the Doctor's office.. I am getting sick.. something has happened to my Heart.. I am wondering if My Heart is broken.. as I am sitting down.. waiting for the Doctor.. I am holding your Picture in my Hand.. I have been looking at this Picture for a Long time.. since I have lost you.. and it is the Picture of YOU.. you are standing by the Wall.. with a beautiful Smile.. I gave YOU a flowers and YOU are holding in your hand.. showing me in the picture of you.. I was so happy when I gave you those flowers in the work shop.. I surprised you that night.. it was before I wanted to ask YOU out.. I wanted to ask if we can be lovers.. and before the questions came about.. and I gave YOU the flowers.. I would watch you holding in your hand.. and I saw you smelling the flowers.. it touched my Heart.. Your nose so close and I saw both of your eyes closing when YOU brought the Flowers closer to your nose.. and right after.. you opened your eyes.. I be holding the camera.. zooming in to get a closer Picture.. I asked if YOU could just smile for me.. YOU are the Most Beautiful when I see you smile.. so I asked.. looking through the lens of the Camera.. I saw you holding the flowers closer and my finger presses and it clicked to take that Picture.. I would put the camera down and I came closer to YOU and I wanted to say but.. YOU told me Not to say it.. Because YOU knew what I was going to say and told me that YOU already have some one who you love.. and that I knew the person well.. I would just stand there.. No words to tell YOU because.. I have been holding this for a long time.. I wanted to tell YOU for a long time.. but I guess holding too long.. and I just could not hold it back.. I want to know.. DO you love Him.. do you think that man can love you more than Me.. if He can love you more than me.. I can back off and just pretend I never told you this.. I want to know what if I can love you More.. I know that I can love you where YOUR Heart can be truly touched.. I know that I can love you because I am already loving YOU.. but pushing me away is not going to solve anything.. but if you know that He can love you more and can make you more happier.. than I have nothing more to say.. But How about my Heart.. how about the Love I have for YOU.. will you please consider this before you can.. and it is the Picture before I wanted to ask.. but I do remember you be telling me that YOU love some one else.. I wanted to walk out of that work shop.. I wanted to leave at that moment because My Heart couldn't handle this kind of pain.. and to heal it takes a long time for me to get over it.. but.. I felt like I should stay.. that may be you would change your mind.. so I just stood and waited.. but I saw YOU looking at me.. giving me back the flowers and I saw YOU walking out of that work shop.. I heard the door behind me shutting down.. holding the flowers in my hands.. why am I holding these flowers for.. I am the one who gave you these flowers.. these are not for me and when I turned my head to look back.. I stood there.. the door was closed and YOU left.. I wanted to cry.. but I wanted to hold my own emotions in and I kept it inside for a while before I wanted to lead it out.. I stood there in the silence.. holding the flowers in my hands.. just did not know what to do any more.. as I am sitting on the chair.. just waiting for the doctor to call my name.. I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. holding the flowers and just smiling.. Now I am thinking.. and wondering.. what if I did Not say anything.. did Not mention and just stood there and smiled back.. I know that YOU would not left the work shop that night.. you could of still be there with me.. but would I ever be happy just watching you on the side line.. just loving YOU alone.. while YOU have someone who loves YOU and you be loving him back.. What am I suppose to do if I am just another shadow of passing through.. It would be breaking my heart into pieces.. I remember I open my hands and the Flowers all fell to the floor.. hitting the ground.. I dropped to my knees.. beating against my chest and started to cry loud.. wailing louder because of the pains of hitting me so Hard that night.. I did not even leave that work shop.. I would be crying for hours.. just feeling the pain deep within me.. sitting by the wall.. I would be leaning.. and I would sit until the Sun would rise Up.. I just could not work any more.. and wanted to take some time off.. but I could not get up.. sitting there.. looking at the flowers all over the floor of the ground.. I can't believe that this Hurts.. it hurts me much more.. why did I even mentioned if it going to end UP like this.. hurting me like this.. this ache.. this pain of just loving you.. why can't you love me back.. I would yell.. out loud.. why can't you love me back.. what must I do for YOU to notice HOW much I love YOU.. and I would sit still.. could not get up.. just did not want to move.. I did not want to eat anything.. even though I was hungry.. but I sat there.. leaning against the wall.. just thinking of YOU.. am I going crazy.. am I losing my mind.. what is wrong.. matter with me is what I would be thinking.. and I would suddenly lay on the floor.. maybe sleeping will help me.. get me better.. and I lay on the floor.. both eyes closes.. and it hurts so bad that I just could not sleep.. as I am still waiting for the doctor.. the door opens and I am looking at your Picture.. I hear foot steps and someone sits next to me.. and I put the picture down.. I am wondering.. who is sitting next to me and as I turn to look.. I see you next to me.. I am thinking.. all this time.. did you know that I am here so you came.. or you just came because YOU are sick too.. and I looked at YOU.. why are you here.. Why are you sitting next to me.. YOU told me that YOU have someone who loves YOU.. you told me you love him.. but why are you here.. I am here because I love you too much.. I think I can't bear this pain.. take this pain any more.. I am going to get me a New Heart.. I don't like the Heart I have with me.. this Heart is always hurting me so I want a new Heart.. a Heart who does Not know you any more.. as I looked at YOU.. are you hurt just like me.. or is it for something else.. as I raised my arm.. my hand is holding your Picture.. and I would show YOU this picture and I turned to look at YOU and I would say.. do YOU remember this time.. Do you remember the day I gave you those flowers.. I am so sorry that I told you that I loved YOU.. I did not meant to say it in a way that YOU wanted to walk off.. but Do you want to see this Picture.. I think you never got the chance to look at it because the Picture came after YOU left.. Do you know how many times I cried looking at this Picture.. I would tell myself.. I regret letting YOU know.. I would tell myself many times.. I regretted because.. If I never mentioned it to YOU
You.. and I see you smile.. as I am waiting for the doctor.. I would look at the picture again.. looking at YOU.. when I would turn my head to look.. I don't see you any more.. I am wondering.. was this just a dream.. why did I saw you here.. maybe I do miss you just too much.. I am aching in my Heart.. I feel like I am dying inside.. the door opens.. and I see the doctor.. I hear the Doctor calling my Name.. I get UP out of the chair and I would walk into the patient room.. and I would sit on patient chair.. I would show the picture to the Doctor.. and the Doctor looks at the picture.. and I am telling the doctor.. I need a new Heart.. if you can give me a New Heart.. I think I can live again.. I am suffering just too much with the Heart who is inside of me.. if YOU can please take my Heart.. put that heart away.. and replace with a New Heart.. I think I can live again.. I just can't live with this Heart.. it is killing me and driving me insane.. Please.. can you do a surgery so that I can breathe again.. to live again.. something is wrong with the Heart I am having.. giving me just too much pain.. and my eyes gets watery and I turn to look.. looking at the doctor in the eyes.. when I looked at the eyes.. it looks like your eyes.. and I would look.. and you are holding the picture in your hand.. and I can't believe I am asking YOU to get rid of my heart.. I am wondering.. and of course.. I remember you told me when we were young.. that YOU had dreams.. you wanted to be a Heart doctor and help healing wounds.. you told me once.. your dreams was to be a doctor who would save lives.. and I am sitting down.. as Your hand is holding that picture.. this is the picture YOU never saw.. but it was when YOU were working with me at the Work Shop.. and do you not remember.. the flowers I gave YOU.. and Yes.. you gave me the flowers back and I dropped the flowers on the floor.. as I looked at YOU.. I would smile at you.. I am glad that YOU have fulfilled your dreams of becoming a Doctor.. at least I came to the right person because if I were to die tonight.. at least YOU are the last person I got to see before I die.. but I did come here so that I can remove my Heart.. I have made an appointment and have given a date for the Heart surgery.. will you be the doctor who can do the Heart surgery for Me.. YOU can at least see my Heart.. can touch my Heart and pull away this Heart from me.. I am much more happier if it is YOU.. because I know that I can give YOU MY Heart.. I know you are telling me that I can die if I get this surgery.. but I need this surgery.. I do not want this Heart any more.. it is killing me Now so Please.. get rid of this Heart which is killing me.. I rather die with YOU holding my Heart then to live without you when I keep on loving YOU.. why can't you be the doctor for me.. YOU know that I have been loving you just too long.. see the Heart who loves YOU.. and then I can finally let go.. because I can't live when YOU are gone and out of my life.. so please let me speak to the one who is in charge of this surgery.. because I can't live without you.. LOOK how you have made me cry.. as the two lines of tears would drop.. I just can't live without you.. or please let me have a chance to love YOU.. you can make a choice.. be the One to do the surgery to my Heart.. or let me please just keep on loving YOU.. because I just want to love you more and more.. tell me why can't I love you more.. as I am looking at you as the doctor.. I see you turning away.. with the picture in your hand.. I see you leave the patient room.. why can't you get rid of my Heart.. get rid of this Heart so that I don't love you any more.. make a choice for me.. Please.. tell me which way for me to go.. I been waiting for YOU.. but YOU never came.. the door was never locked because it is YOU who I been waiting for.. I would be working in the Flower Shop.. waiting if YOU would ever show UP.. but you would never come.. It broke my Heart because what If YOU would stop by.. even just for Once.. I was Not asking for a long time.. even just for few seconds.. it would been enough for Me.. but YOU never came.. working in the Flower Shop without YOU was the most difficult thing for Me because I would be waiting.. even though I knew deep in my Heart that YOU would never show UP.. just hoping that it would be you who would knock on the door.. asking for me to open that door in the Work Shop.. in that flower Work Shop.. I would cry many nights of thinking of YOU.. just remembering all of the memories we shared together in that Shop.. I would watch YOU with the camera.. lights flashes as YOU would take pictures of the Flowers.. asking me about how it grew.. the place where I would planted in the soil.. I would even take you to the spots.. back in the garden.. where YOU would see the flowers in full bloom.. matured and sprung UP for YOU to take a look.. YOU would smile.. I would watch YOU holding that camera in front.. as I would watch YOU looking through the camera Lens and taking pictures of the flowers back in the Garden.. I wanted to Hold YOU.. I wanted to Pull you closer to me.. around my arms I wanted to feel YOU inside.. but I would stop myself of getting closer to YOU.. I wanted to get close.. I wanted to walk and stand beside YOU.. just to feel for seconds.. How you would feel in my arms.. How would you breathe.. How about the sound of the beating of Your Heart.. can I hear it.. will my Heart also make the same sound of Your Heart.. I wanted to get close.. just to see how it would feel.. YOU in my arms.. I wanted you near.. I wanted you close.. I was so close because I would walk but I would stop to step back.. It hurts me because I wanted to feel YOU in my arms.. But I just could not get closer.. Because I knew that YOU would push me to say Back Off.. Just Now How it feels.. Just thinking about YOU.. brings so Much Joy and happiness.. I would smile a lot.. My Heart be moving in a way I just can't control.. my emotions just wants to pour Out to YOU.. I want to stop.. I can't control myself because It has been Hard lately.. Missing YOU is so Hard.. at the same Time.. it brings me a lot of tears.. that I can't stop myself crying.. I don't want to show YOU any more tears.. but It hurts to know that YOU don't want to come close.. so Far.. so Near.. so Close.. the distance between Us.. leaving me to Be hurt.. missing YOU all the time.. but I want to get close.. NO Matter How I feel.. as long as it is YOU.. I will always Love YOU.. don't ask me why do I keep on hurting myself but still loves YOU.. as I am sitting on the Chair.. I am looking at Your Picture.. it is YOU when YOU were with me at the Flower Shop.. holding a flower in Your Hand.. with such a Beautiful Smile.. I remember that it was the day I wanted to show YOU the New Flowers that has been reached the Full Bloom stage.. it was back in the Garden.. the Same camera you were using to take many pictures of the flowers.. I would ask YOU.. take one of the Flowers from the Bed in the back of this Garden.. I watched you lower yourself.. grabbed and pulled the Flower Out.. and telling me that it is this One.. that it is the Most Beautiful One.. Your Favorite and I do remember leading YOU back into the Flower Work Shop.. YOU were standing by the wall.. and Holding the flower in your Hand.. I would have the Camera in my hands.. My eye would look through the lens of the Camera.. I would see YOU.. my finger stopped at the Button.. because what if this be the last picture I could take from this Camera.. this Fear came all over me.. shaking and trembling from the Inside.. I stopped my finger to press.. YOU were wondering why I could not click the Button.. My Heart would skip.. trying to find if there is a Beat.. I would take a deep breathe and my finger presses the Button and the light switches and it takes the Picture of YOU.. when I put the Camera Down.. I am looking at the Wall.. in the Flower Work Shop.. I only see the wall.. I don't see YOU there.. and with me is the Same Picture.. it was the last time I took the picture of YOU because the Next day.. YOU told me that YOU are not going to work with me at the Flower Shop.. that YOU have find someone that YOU love.. and that YOU are going with Him.. and I felt my world turn upside down.. I felt that everything be crumbling.. I saw YOU leave as the Door closes behind me.. I would sit on the Floor.. I would cry Loud and wail More.. I just couldn't control these emotions when it is torn apart.. I would Beat with my hand on my Chest.. I would Hit it so Hard.. I just couldn't stop hitting my Chest.. wanting to Pull my Heart out.. It hurts me because all I see is YOU.. YOU leaving me behind and I am left alone at the Flower Work Shop.. everything began to fall apart.. I started to drink a lot.. heavy into drinking.. crash and burn.. falling apart and falling down.. I just don't wanted to get UP any more.. I just couldn't handle this Kind of Pain.. it was killing me from the Inside.. How can I erase this Pain that is eating me from the Inside.. How can I get rid of this Kind of Hellish Pain.. I just wanted to Die.. for years I felt this way.. I felt like I wanted to give UP.. but.. for some reason.. if I truly love YOU.. I know that I needs to get back UP and try to live.. try to live the best I can.. so that One day I am able to see YOU again and the Day I see YOU.. I will never let YOU GO.. I decided to go and get my Heart check.. if something is wrong with me.. is it My Heart who has the Problem.. or is it just Me.. I came to the Clinic.. just to check my Heart.. I feel so ill.. I feel so Sick.. because I been thinking about YOU too much lately.. I wanted to forget.. I wanted to erase YOU off my Mind so I called to make an Appointment.. so that I can get a Heart surgery.. and I been sitting down on this chair.. waiting for the Doctor to call my Name.. for the Doctor to see me.. I wanted the Doctor to Know that I want to get rid of this Heart.
Into a room.. NOW.. I go into the Room.. waiting for the doctor.. and as I sit patiently waiting for the Doctor.. I am looking at your Picture.. Looking at YOU holding the flower in your hand.. standing by the wall.. Before I came to this Clinic Office.. I went over this Moring to the Flower Work Shop.. as I walked inside the Work Shop.. I would stand there alone.. LOOKING at the Wall where YOU would stand.. I would look at the empty Wall.. looking at the picture of YOU holding.. the same spot.. you were standing with a smile holding the flower.. the Last time I saw YOU is when I took this Picture.. it hurts Me more.. I would.. the Flower Work Shop was dark and I would be standing alone.. crying looking at the Picture of YOU.. which it was the last time YOU stood by this Wall.. and I just can't let YOU go.. WHY is it me who has to let it Go.. why is it YOU who has to hurt Me.. why can't I ever hurt you and I would look at the Wall.. where YOU would stand the last time and I would scream because my Heart.. It wanted to shatter into pieces.. WHY did YOU have to leave me for someone else.. WHY can't YOU ever know how much I love YOU.. why don't you see me.. WHY can't you see me as the Person who loves you the Most.. and I would again cry.. looking at the wall.. after looking at the Picture of YOU where YOU once stood by this wall.. I would fall to the ground.. and I just can't.. why can't I just let YOU GO.. it is killing me so Bad.. why can't I let YOU GO.. what is it about YOU holding unto me.. like a stronghold.. and I would cry loud.. wailing.. hitting my hand against my chest.. It hurts me just too much because I want to be loved by YOU.. why can't YOU see me for once.. HOW ABOUT ME.. you know that I can love YOU better.. YOU know that I can love YOU more.. I can even love you stronger.. just please give me a chance.. just one chance.. as I am waiting in the Room in the clinic Office.. I know that I may not live for Long.. because My Heart is broken.. It has been shattered into many little pieces.. YOU have broken my Heart.. If I can't fix my Heart.. what am I going to do with this Shattered of pieces broken Heart that is in me.. If I can't fix it.. Maybe the Doctor can help me to fix IT.. what if the Doctor can't fix my Heart.. I am going to ask the Doctor to go me a Surgery.. because what am I going to do with this Broken Shattered Heart.. I can at least donate it to someone else.. give me a New Heart.. someone else can take my Place.. can Have this Heart.. that someone else can Love YOU instead because I know that I can't.. I don't even know where YOU at so how can I love YOU when YOU are NO where to be found.. and I am lost somewhere.. and I would be sitting on this Chair.. LOOKING at the Picture of YOU.. I sit in silence just thinking of the Flower Work Shop.. I want to go back with YOU.. can YOU please go back with me to this Flower work Shop.. I want to live again.. I want to feel that I am alive again.. I want to breathe again because without YOU.. just look at me at this Point in my Life without YOU.. and as I am looking at the picture.. waiting for the doctor to come into this room.. I am looking at your Picture and speaking to the Picture.. the door Opens but it stops.. I am thinking.. maybe it is another patient who just came into the wrong room and I would open my Mouth.. as I am looking at the picture of YOU.. can we please go back to the Flower Work Shop.. do YOU know that I am still there.. I just could Not move on because I would think about.. what If.. Just in case YOU show UP one day.. what If you come.. what if YOU change your Mind.. what if I come across Your Mind one night.. One Day.. what If you miss Me.. how about if YOU love me.. Not sure why I would think of it that Way but what if you show UP.. I had many chances to leave that Flower work shop.. My friends came.. trying to convince me.. telling me to leave it behind me.. let it be my History.. and I would try to leave that Flower Work Shop.. but always in the back of my Head.. I would be thinking of YOU.. if I do leave.. what if YOU show UP when I do really leave.. then I know that I can't never see YOU again.. I don't want that to ever happen because I miss YOU and I love YOU.. that is why I just can't let it go now.. because I love YOU just too much.. I have been there.. just waiting for the Door to be opened.. for YOU to knock on the door and when I open the door to that Flower Work shop and WHEN I open to see who it is.. I wanted to smile to see YOU there.. standing there.. just giving me even few seconds of your presences.. just to say I love YOU.. just to say I missed YOU.. or to say welcome back.. because I just can't let YOU GO.. Because I never stopped loving YOU.. even now I love you still.. I been waiting so that I can tell YOU how much I love YOU.. as I look up.. I hear the door closed.. and I am thinking.. this whole time the door was opened.. I wonder who it is who hear me speaking to Your Picture.. I wonder who it is.. and the door Opens.. my hand opens and the picture falls to the ground because it is YOU who is standing by the door.. That YOU are the Doctor.. My Doctor there.. I am looking at you.. I just could not believe that YOU are now a doctor.. a Heart surgeon.. of course I came here to get my Heart to be removed.. I wanted another Heart Surgeon because.. Can you handle doing the surgery.. planting into a different Heart.. a Heart from someone else.. What would you do if I don't recognize YOU any more.. what will you do if I start to love another whose Heart has been loving.. But.. I don't want to lose YOU.. How can I live without YOU.. How can I breathe if I can't love YOU any more.. but all this Time.. I have been only loving YOU.. YOU are the Only One who I been missing.. I been crying over looking at the empty wall.. walking into the Work Shop.. I been missing YOU.. missing your Presence.. just missing your smile.. can YOU handle me.. putting me into the deep sleep.. as YOU cut my chest wide open.. I know that YOU are more experience in this kind of work.. If you are the Doctor.. because I asked for a well experienced.. well established with multiple years of experience.. I don't want my Heart to be broken.. I don't want my Heart to be dropped on the floor.. It has been with me all of my life.. ever since I was born.. ever since I was a young Boy.. when I first saw YOU.. I cried.. I started to cry after YOU left.. YOU promised me that YOU will be back.. and I felt my Heart.. I did not know what it was at the first touch.. I just could not stop.. but I would kept on crying through the Night.. that is when I could Not sleep.. I kept on thinking of YOU.. over and over.. turning and tossing.. all of the children at the Orphan House.. they were all sleeping good.. I sat on top of the bed.. wondering.. why couldn't I sleep like the Other children.. I do remember you gave me your picture.. I saw both of your parents with YOU.. and I do remember.. being so Poor.. without any parents.. living with bunch of poor children.. who had No homes.. only could gather with each other.. I looked at YOU.. I would smile.. I could never smile living with bunch of these children.. they were all dirty like Me.. pushing and shoving.. kicking and screaming.. and there was No peace.. When I heard the Old Woman.. the Care taker says to the Children.. a Missionary family is coming.. to help Us.. to help educate and give Us books to read.. and toys to play with.. of course.. it was YOU and your Parents who came.. I knew that I should of stopped myself right when I met YOU.. I don't know why I asked for your picture that day.. before YOU were leaving.. and as I was crying.. I wanted to be a Part.. so I asked for YOUR picture.. when YOU told me that YOU are going to give me One.. and That smile.. you pulled out and told me that this is the Only One.. the best Picture you have taken.. I saw your Smile.. and YOU told me.. behind the Picture is your Address.. and If I wanted a friend to share my Heart.. to write YOU a Letter.. I do remember watching YOU leave.. Your Father and Mother holding your Hands as YOU leave.. I would be waving with tears in my eyes.. I felt so Alone.. I felt so cold.. I felt so Poor.. and I would fall both on my knees.. and Weeping as I take a Look at your Picture.. why do you have to leave so Soon.. Are you going to come to visit me and the children.. and both hands holding the side of the Picture.. YOU are so Beautiful.. and I be looking with tears.. wiping my tears with my hand.. I feel so Alone.. I feel so sad because My Heart.. is it going to break like this.. My Heart keeps on breaking because YOU know how much I love you right.. and I do remember that Night.. I just could not sleep.. and sitting on the top of the Bed.. I pulled out Your Picture.. and I would look.. and I do remember what YOU said.. to write YOU when I needed a friend.. and I would get Out of the Bed and I walked to the desk.. and I sat down to write.. as I am laying.. I am looking at YOU.. as a Doctor.. as the Heart Surgeon.. I should of Not come to this Hospital.. What are you going to do with My Heart.. I don't want you to take my Heart away.. if I can't love you any more.. I rather ask for another Doctor.. I guess the main reason is to forget YOU.. and Let my Heart be taken away and Let someone else have My Heart.. But when I saw YOU.. if YOU were another Doctor.. another Heart Surgeon.. then I think it would been so much easier to go with the proceed to do the surgery but.. I feel like My Heart Now just can't go.. it has been such a Long time since I saw YOU.. and for the longest Time.. I have been missing YOU.. but Now.. I just can't give My Heart away with YOU becoming the Doctor.. the Heart Surgeon.. I been to the Work Shop lately.. and started a Project.. to rebuild that Work Shop.. it has been broken and abandoned for a Long time.. I just could Not work there any more
![[#인생술집] 데뷔 전에 야구 보러 갔다가 실검 뜬 찍은 유이 ㅋㅋ 그냥 연예인이 될 운명이었구나💗](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/T3hA1TRGS48/mqdefault.jpg)
![[#인생술집] 데뷔 전에 야구 보러 갔다가 실검 뜬 찍은 유이 ㅋㅋ 그냥 연예인이 될 운명이었구나💗](/img/tr.png)
![[#온앤오프] 건강美 원조 유이의 내돈내산 바프 도전기🥊 한국인의 정체성 김치마저 사라진 극악무도한 유이 식단 ㅠㅠ | #갓잡은클립 #샾잉 | CJ ENM 210427 방송](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Xmpdao_gs0M/mqdefault.jpg)
![[#픽플] 유이 한번에 모아보기🌶️🍺 #유이 #배우 #가수 #해피투게더 #옥탑방의문제아들ㅣ KBS방송 [픽플]](/img/n.gif)
유이씨의 매력은 동그란 얼굴에 나이스 바디였죠 너무 갸름해보이려 애쓰지않았으면 해요~^^ 효심이인 지금이 예전드라마보다 훨 보기 좋습니다❤ 더찌셔도 매력뿜뿜일듯해요^^😊❤❤❤
유이님 너무 힘들게 다이어트 하지 않아주셔도 될것 같아요~이미 너무 아름다우세요!!
유이 누나 진짜 자기관리 끝판왕이다
마음도 몸도 건강하고 예쁜사람!
행복하세요
고생했어요 유이언니 ❤❤❤ 너무 잘했어요
진짜 예쁘고 성격최고 좋은 유이씨❤ 브이로그로 자주 볼 수 있어서 넘 좋아요❤
진짜 이쁘다ㅜ
비율 미춋다
💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 유이씨 화이팅!!!
100만 구독자 가즈아!! 😁😁😁😁😁
유이님 실제로 보면 연예인중에서도
몸매 탑오브 탑이심 진짜 다른레벨임
거기에 성격도 좋으심
이런분하고 결혼하고 싶다
유이누나 마음도 몸도 따듯한 여신입니다❤️💕
와 바디프로필이랑 너무 멋져요 유이님 ❤❤❤❤
그렇게 먹구 힘이나요
촬영두 해야되는데
하지만 효과는 확실한듯 겁나 멋져요👍💯
Thank you yet again for doing these videos. You are working so hard, and still having fun.
hard workお疲れ これからも程々にガンバッテ❤
너무 이쁜..🩷 내 최애예요..🩷 -ㅂㄹ네일-..🤍
오늘도 영상 잘 보고 가요!!!^^
Ditungguin dri tadi🥰🥰akhinya up jga❤❤
U-IE looks very beautiful today 😍😘♥
😍😍😍😍🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩배우 유이님 단식 꼭 성공 하세요 화이팅
구독 좋아요 알림 설정 눌렀어요 항상 응원할께요 😊😊😊😊😊
Uhuru에서 울었을때가 제일 이뻤던듯ㅎㅎ but여전히 너무 멋진 유이님👍
유이 언니 너무 예뻐요
효심이네 각자도생 너무 재밌어요
최종회 까지 재미있게 볼께요 ^^
언니 팬이에요
유이언니 멋있어요💖💖 브이로그 잘 봤어요~~
안녕하세요 유이 궈여워❤❤❤
Looks Amazing. be proud of yourself for that.
언니 살뺄때 어딨다구 구래요ㅠㅠ
말랐구만🥹❤
I love you since you are in After School.
변화도 좋지만 몸에 무리가 갈수도 있어요 꾸준한 몸관리가
중요할것같아요
화이팅 유이처럼 채널 대박나라
10 만구독 가즈아
Uie ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
효심이 맛있는 거 많이 먹어..🥺
Uie❤❤❤
아름답습니다.❤😊
I love your vlog, but i hope next time can you put subtitle... pleaseee
4분 51초에 나온 쉐이크와 단백질 제품 궁금해요!
프로네요~ 멋있어요~
언니 진짜 왜 이르케 마르셨어요 ㅠ 진찌 완전 여신님🥰
유이짱좋아
nice vlog
유이님 다이어트 브이로그를 잘 볼게요
👍👍👍👍👍👍
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
유 !!! 이 !!! 보고싶다 !!!
❤❤
멋있게산다😊
Super pretty !
💪Fighting!👍💕💖 Nice!📸
😍😍😍🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩배우 유이님 드라마에서 많이 보고 있어요
❤❤❤❤❤Uee
يوي ممكن ترجعين بدراما حلوهه خلي درامات نهاية الاسبوع
🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Eonni is so beautiful ^^
단백질 쉐이크 이름 머예요??
هيوشيم من فضلك اريد الترجمه العربيه😭😭
도대체뺄곳이엄능디 속버려요잘드셔요 ❤❤❤❤❤항상응원합니다
치즈
드시는게ㅎ
어디브랜드인지요?
😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍안녕하세요 배우 유인님 만나서 반갑습니다
안녕하세요 아랍어 번역 추가 부탁드립니다 감사합니다 사랑합니다 건강 조심하세요 잘먹으세요
당신의 노력은 성과를 거두었습니다 ! 사진 결과가 정말 좋네요 ! 당신은 정말 아름답고 섹시해요 !! 그러나 그러한 정권은 어려웠을 것입니다. 행운을 빌어요 !
Wow I envy your very nice body, I wish I had abs like you. Btw I really like your vlog. Hope you will make more vlogs
對於Uie來說 比較吃虧的是長肉 會先長在臉上吧！為了較上鏡 好像也只能保持這麼清瘦～
사과에 땅콩버터 왜 안발라드세요? 엄청 맛있는데... 맛없나?
식빵에 너겟넣어먹어주세요
(Uee ) hello do do heeeeeee
🖐️😊
Ух ты какая диета 😊
Orang indo mana nih😂😂😂
Oink Oink.. I am listening to the Song I am playing on this Piano.. of course I am Not a composer.. I can't write any music.. but I have the Letter I have written just for YOU.. Only YOU can hear the Words that is coming Out of My Mouth.. which it was written last Night before I went to Bed.. I just could Not sleep.. I would be tossing and turning on the side.. I would be laying.. Looking at the wall of the ROOM.. my Heart was Beating Hard from the Inside.. which kept me waking UP.. I would try to close the two eyes.. shut I would close.. but I would see YOU in my Head.. in my Mind I see YOU and I would think of YOU.. opening both eyes does Not work because My Heart is beating Hard.. I would sit on top of the bed.. trying to lay back Down and again I would sit.. I would look across is the Desk.. maybe it is telling me to write YOU another Letter.. why do I have to keep On picking UP the Pen.. putting the White Piece of paper before my eyes.. I would pull the chair closer and I would sit.. but the Night.. it is like deep into the Night.. where I am suppose to be sleeping the Most.. But I would have your picture on the Top of the Desk.. I turn on the side looking at the Door.. I see the Little Piano.. it is waiting for Me.. by the Door which it leads me to the Living ROOM.. the Little Piano looks.. and I look at the Little Piano.. it is telling me to Play so that I can tell YOU.. what is IN MY HEART which it says IN my Heart I love YOU.. I love you so Much that I am Not sure how much to Love any More.. do I have to love you so More.. but How BIG and Wide must this Love must carry through.. How can YOU tell.. but I would look at the Little Piano on the side by the door.. and I know.. I may Not be able to play a SONG.. it may Not come Out right.. YOU will not hear it right.. then.. How about the Letter.. maybe the Letter can over come and the Music YOU listen with YOUR ears of the TUNE of this Piano.. it may Not affect Your Hearing Loss.. but when YOU hear the Words.. the Letter.. I will let YOU hear the Letter that I am writing this Very Night.. as I turn the Other way is the Window.. pulling the Curtains UP.. I can see the Window.. and I can see the MOON from where I am sitting in this Room.. and I look at the Moon as I am sitting.. turning to the Moon.. thinking of YOU.. grabbing the Picture and looking at YOU through this Picture.. What am I suppose to do.. when can I see YOU.. when can YOU hear my Heart.. the Out cry that Comes from within me.. I want to tell YOU I love YOU.. I want to say to YOU that I love YOU so Much.. will you let me tell you these words of Mine to YOU.. will you let me ever come close to YOU and tell YOU how much I love YOU.. How about the times having when I really Really Missed YOU.. I want to pour a Wine on the Glass.. and I want to drink.. take a sip of the Wine of the Glass cup.. taking a Sip and when I face you.. when I see YOU.. I will be first approaching YOU.. holding Your Hands.. It has been so Long I have been waiting.. it took more than thousand days.. even ten thousand days had to pass me by.. how many weeks does it needs to pass by for YOU to ever miss Me.. How many Months does it needs to take for YOU to Miss me.. How many years must it pass by for YOU to miss me and see My Heart.. when will YOU KNOW that I be loving YOU for so Long.. do YOU know that every Night I miss YOU.. I can turn.. looking at the MOON.. if YOU ever have some time.. and when the Day turns into Night.. Please step Out side.. just once in a blue MOON will do.. as I be walking Out side.. Holding the Letter In my Hands.. I would be walking and I stop.. I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. and I would hold UP the Paper.. the Letter in my Hands.. and I would say.. if YOU hear me.. and the Little Piano is there with Me.. as I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. my hands.. my fingers would be pressing the Key Bars.. I am Not sure what kind of sounds YOU can be hearing.. it is good that YOU are ON the Other Side.. if YOU can't hear the Key.. the sounds and the Tunes of this Piano.. I think it can be good for those ears.. instead of hearing the Words that I speak coming from the Heart which I would memorize the Written Words I have written in the Letter for YOU.. YOU may Not hear my words right.. I would be hitting the Key bars.. it is making a lot of sounds and a lot of noises on this Piano.. as I am pressing the Key Bars which it is bring Sounds Out.. I am Looking UP.. turning to the MOON.. and I know.. I can see Your Face inside the Moon.. as I would close my two eyes.. I would say.. DO you Hear Me.. do I must speak Louder to YOU for the waves to go across.. do I needs to Lose my Voice for YOU to hear me Now.. I been waiting for YOU.. but YOU have Not showed UP yet.. I have been waiting for Your Answer.. WHY can't YOU tell me that YOU Miss me.. why can't YOU be truly Honest with me for Once.. Please tell me that YOU love me Too.. Please tell me that YOU also can miss Me.. I been holding IN for a Long time.. I wanted to say it.. to tell YOU that I am missing you so Much right Now.. I am Not even looking at the Key Bars of this Little Piano.. so I have NO idea what I am playing.. If YOU were here.. I know you would tell me to Stop playing on that Little Piano because YOUR ears will Hurt.. and that is why I just can't stop.. if YOU can be hear and hear the sounds of this Little Piano which I am bringing Out some kind of Noise.. YOU will tell me to Stop because It is hurting Your Ears.. that is HOW MY Heart feels at this Point.. that I can't stop that It hurts if I choose to stop.. If I cannot tell YOU that I don't love you.. it hurts me more than the Tune.. the Playing.. the SOUND and the Noise.. It will kill me if YOU tell me to Stop telling YOU that I love YOU.. I can't breath.. I love that I love YOU.. I love the thoughts that I can tell YOU that I love YOU.. to able to tell you this is My Dreams come true.. dreaming of the Day.. I can hold Your hands and truly.. PULL you closer to Me.. and I will speak softly into Your ears.. and I will tell YOU one Hundred times.. How much I love YOU.. and I will tell YOU One thousand times.. how much I will love YOU.. I will cry if I can't say it to YOU any more.. I will sit and ball hard like a Child.. like a baby I can cry if I can't tell YOU that I love YOU.. I have been loving YOU for so Long.. WHY can't YOU see that In me.. I have been here all along.. why can't you accept it.. because it is NOT enough for YOU.. I am trying Hard to tell YOU.. I been here telling YOU that I love YOU.. the Joy that brings into my Heart.. when I am allowed to say it.. to tell it the way it is meant to be said.. I want to tell you that I love YOU.. as I am looking UP at the Moon.. I can feel the tears.. My Heart is burning.. My Heart is beating Hard.. my fingers pressing into the Little Piano.. I am Looking UP at the MOON at Night.. making all kinds of Sounds and Noises YOU just don't want to Hear.. that is why I am here on the Other side which You can't Hear it.. but the Words I am telling.. the Words I been writing to YOU all this time.. Letting YOU know that It is my Heart.. It is the Pencil which I pick UP.. it is the Piece of paper.. and writing to YOU which makes me Happy.. gives me Hopes and to dream Bigger for YOU and to love YOU more and more.. as my fingers stops pressing on the Key bars of this Little Piano.. I would still Look UP at the Moon.. and I would say in the Loud voice.. DO YOU hear Me.. can YOU Please Hear me standing here on the Other side.. I am waiting for YOU.. that is why when YOU take the TIME to come Out.. Please come out at Night.. when YOU can stand out alone.. and YOU can see the MOON above YOU.. what YOU will see is not Me playing on the Little Piano.. YOU are not going to see a Letter with two wings flying down to YOU.. But the MOON is going to show you the Tears that came Out of my eyes.. comes Out from the Heart.. comes Out from my Mind and my thoughts of thinking of YOU.. YOU will see the Moon so differently because the MOON will shows YOU tears.. My Tears because I love YOU.. My Tears because I miss YOU.. My Tears because YOU do Not understand my Heart.. But that is Okay If YOU don't get it now.. YOU may Not understand it ever.. but when A MAN like me Loves YOU.. maybe it can take thousand of Years later.. It can be when I am grey and an Old Man.. dying in the Bed.. it is Okay if YOU do not get it then either.. it can be when YOU come to visit my Own grave.. when I am Gone.. but Know that I loved YOU more than I ever loved myself.. I know that One day.. some day YOU will know who Loved YOU more.. as I am Looking at the MOON above me.. I am looking at the Letter I have written for YOU.. what am I suppose to do with this Letter.. I know that standing here.. LOOKING UP at the Moon.. YOU can't even hear my voice.. YOU can't even hear the Little Piano be playing.. did YOU hear the sounds and noises of this Little Piano.. I wish you can listen to My Heart Beat.. because I been pressing the key bars as I can hear my Own Heart beating for YOU.. thinking of YOU.. wishing to be with YOU.. Looking at your Picture.. wishing that I can be with YOU.. Can YOU hear me on the other side.. that is why I would stand here alone.. LOOKING at the MOON.. I would cry before the Moon.. because I want YOU to Hear Me.. I want you to able to receive what I can give.. I wish that YOU can Hear me.. but All I see is the MOON before me.. It does not Move.. Does not make any kinds of expression.. It does not speak back to Me.. but I still see the MOON standing still.. How do I get this Letter to YOU.. How am I suppose to deliver this Letter to YOU.. can you please show me the way to Your Heart.. please show me How can this Letter get into your hands.. as I grab the Little Piano into my Hands.. and I am walking back to the House.. and slowly I am walking away from the Moon.... the Door opens and I go into the House.
I love YOU.. do you know that these three words Hit me.. when I did Not hear from you the past few days.. the Word I love you came into my Heart when I would remember what the Doctor Told me.. he told me something that YOU have not mentioned about and I just wanted to tell YOU this from my Heart.. that I love YOU.. and all I think of YOU.. YOU be in my Mind.. YOU kept on being on my Heart and ON my Mind.. Why can't I just erase you Off my Mind.. I can't.. Please tell me How.. as I am looking at this Cabin Log home.. I want to remember what happened to Us.. You have left a Message on the Phone.. and hearing your Voice.. I would listen to Your Voice.. stop and play over and over.. trying to remember YOU.. it hurts me More than it hurts YOU because I have found another Picture.. it is YOU holding a Giant Teddy Bear.. and YOU are showing me this Peace Sign.. and it is that Smile that Get to me when I take a Look into that Picture.. where was this taken At.. How can I forget.. and YOU are Not helping me in any of this.. why can't you tell me where was it At.. I dialed YOUR number and I called YOU on the Phone.. but YOU would not pick up this Time.. I started to Beat on my Chest.. and I sat on the Floor.. Looking at this picture of YOU holding the Giant Teddy Bear.. I have the first Picture on the first Room.. and there is an Empty vase in the second Room.. and I found this Picture on the second Room.. when I lifted UP the Empty Vase.. this picture was underneath it.. I remember buying this Home.. but I do not know who it was that was selling me this Home.. Just love the Wood areas and far from the city side of Life.. just wanted to live this quiet life until I heard your Voice.. and it was YOU who were thanking me purchasing this Home.. I wanted to see YOU.. I wanted to meet YOU.. but YOU told me that it is Not the right TIME.. I remember walking into this Log Cabin Home.. the House was empty.. but there was this scent.. this smell of a perfume when I went into this Empty house.. this Empty home.. did Not know where the smell came from.. I would walk Out of the House.. looking around.. I saw no one.. but this Smell.. where does this soft smell of scent came from.. Is it that my memories are coming back slowly because I think I smelled this scent before.. I am trying to remember this smell but I know that I knew this smell.. Was it YOU who came to this Empty Home before I came.. I am wanting to Know.. so much questions going through my Mind.. I want answers.. when I first Unlocked the Door to enter.. the Smell Hit me like the thin air of cold Icy air.. it hit me in such a massive wave.. I know that someone had to be here.. because I heard that It was a New Home.. or was It Not.. does this Home belong to YOU.. or was it Mine in the past.. Please tell me something because I would like to know.. I remember after leaving the empty Home.. I would take a Long walk a long walk alone.. I was thinking about YOU.. because I heard Your Voice.. How excited Your Voice were because I bought this Home.. as I heard YOUR voice after leaving on the Message.. I would be walking.. holding the Phone in my Hand.. Placing the Speaker close to my ear.. I loved hearing your Voice.. wondering How do you Look on the Other side.. wishing can I meet YOU too.. as the Cold Breeze Hits into the Dark night.. I would see the MOON appear before Me.. snow on the Floor.. and I kept on walking.. playing to Listen to your Voice.. Is there a way I can speak back to YOU.. is there a way I can call the Number and tell YOU what My Heart truly thinks of Your Voice.. of course I did Not see your picture around this TIME.. it was the first day after I came Out of the Hospital.. waking UP to a Coma.. but the Doctor telling me that I am good to go.. that I can walk well.. leaving the Hospital I went straight to the New Home.. which I was surprised of getting a Home in the first place.. a message and a Picture came on the Phone.. with the direction to the Location.. and I took the taxi and the man drove me there.. with the key in my hands.. I think the Doctor knew something but He did Not tell me anything.. just gave me the keys to the new Home.. I don't remember when I bought this House.. that is why I feel so strange walking into this New Home.. I am looking at the walls of the Room.. the second room I am standing.. my hand touch the wall.. I don't know what to do.. what am I suppose to say about this situation.. I feel so Lost and so confused because I am standing in a new Home.. but I don't remember any one of this.. I would look at the Phone.. and I am looking at your Picture YOU send me.. and asking me DO I remember YOU.. It hurts Me.. But YOU are so Beautiful.. YOU are so Lovely.. why are YOU sticking around towards a man who has lost everything.. I don't even remember right Now.. as the Doctor gave me the Keys to the new House.. He tells me something before HE let me go.. that there was someone who was here with me.. when I was laying on the Bed.. In the Coma.. for many days.. there was this One woman who came.. and YOU sat next to me while I was sleeping for a long time.. the Doctor said that I may Not wake UP.. but Only Time will tell but YOU came next to me.. and Would Hold my Hand.. and would come to spend next with me during the long nights.. and that when He.. the doctor comes to check.. YOU would be sleeping next to me holding my hands.. the Doctor looks over.. and sees tears rolling down my eyes.. and I think it is because of YOU I just could not GO.. I wanted to go.. go somewhere far.. but it was Your hands the doctor saw and How YOU kept on coming by my side.. until the Good news came that I was waking UP slowly from this Long sleep of COMA.. that is when the Doctor told me YOU came.. every night.. holding my hands and slept next to me.. and My tears.. I kept on crying because I wanted to GO.. I wanted YOU to let me go BUT your Hands would Not let me go.. Your TOUCH.. your hands which Hold my Hand tight and say YOU can't let me go.. I remember the day my eyes opened.. I was Not sure where I was.. of course it was that Accident.. and I would asked the Doctor.. what had happened to Me.. and How did I get here in this Bed.. the Doctor says.. it was a hit and run.. but I survived that crash which could of ended my life.. someone was drunk and hit the Car.. and He ran with his car.. and the Doctor showed me the Picture of my car which was crushed into pieces.. and I know that I have an Angel who was On my side.. that Night.. YOU came after the Police saw Your Picture on the Phone.. YOU were on the front of the screen.. and the doctor tells YOU the News.. that a big damage to my Head caused me to Loss some memories.. Maybe never I will remember YOU.. after I heard this from the Doctor showing me the picture of my Brain damage.. I cried.. I won't remember the Angel who was standing next to Me.. Holding my Hands when I was laying asleep.. I can this Happen to Me.. How can this One accident causes so much Pain in my Heart.. I want to remember YOU.. and I remember looking at the Phone.. which the Doctor gave to Me.. the front cover of the screen.. Your Picture was there and I would take a Look.. and I would say.. I don't remember YOU.. who is this person.. and It broke my Heart.. But has to be someone very special for to be in the cover of the screen.. the Doctor looks at me and tells me.. the One who was holding Your hands when I was asleep in the COMA.. it was YOU my Angel who came.. when I wanted to Go.. It was just too hard to stay alive.. I wanted to rest.. I wanted to go.. But Your Hands.. it was Your Touch.. your Faith that brought me back to where I can breathe Now.. and When I heard this from the Doctor.. I would cry looking at the Picture of YOU.. my Angel.. why can't I remember the Angel who stood by my side.. YOU could of ran too.. Just like I got Hit.. and some one ran.. even when YOU heard that I have this brain damage.. when didn't YOU ran with that.. as I sat there.. listening to the doctor.. which It was HIM who saw all these things.. and wanted to tell me that I have an angel WHO loved Me so much.. that I should Never let YOU go.. and Yes.. when I told the doctor that YOU could of ran.. he said to me.. I am right.. but YOU did Not run off like that.. came every Night.. when things were so dark.. and just stood there in silence.. there was NO need for words of exchange.. but Just your presence.. YOUR hands which held my Hands.. it was YOU who got to my Hands.. and I felt your love.. I felt it at the Most Hardest times.. at the desperate moment of trying to Let GO.. trying to go somewhere very far.. But YOU are the Angel who came.. it was Your Love which brought tears to my eyes.. I felt it in my Heart.. I felt it deep into my Heart.. just YOU being there.. DID NOT need to hear anything.. but YOU just being next to Me.. and HOLDING my Hands telling me that YOU WILL NOT LET ME GO and that kept my Heart to beat again.. it kept my blood to turn warm to HOT.. Only YOU who was there to help me at the most desperate life threatening situation.. it was YOU who was there.. and I wanted to say.. I love YOU.. even though I may Not remember YOU yet.. I still love YOU because I heard what you have did when I was left alone for the fight of my life in COMA.. as I am in the Second ROOM.. in this New Home.. I am looking at the new Picture I found.. YOU are holding the Giant Teddy Bear.. with a Big SMILE showing me the Peace Sign.. as I would look at the Phone.. I would press the Play to Hear your Voice.. it has been few days since you called me and left me the Voice Message.. I am wondering.. where are YOU at.. YOU told me that YOU are going to be calling me SOON.. if few days has passed by.. can I call YOU.. so I can hear YOUR voice.. I wanted to tell YOU that I love YOU
You left few days ago.. but when Can I hear Your New voice Now.. I want to hear a new message coming from You.. I miss your Voice.. so will you pick up the Phone if I call YOU.. as I would send YOU a text message and I would send it to Your Number.. and I would sit and wait for Your response on the Other side.. and I get a Message.. a written text message back from YOU.. just did Not think you would answer back so quickly.. and I would call.. dial UP your number and let it ring.. few times the ring I would hear.. and I hear Your Voice.. and I would say to YOU.. I been thinking about the Day I woke UP.. waking UP from the Hospital.. and I would hear what the Doctor says to me.. that I wanted to say you are my Angel.. I wish that I can be an angel Like YOU.. so that I can be the One to make YOU smile More.. would you let me be an Angel for just One Day.. of course If you are wondering.. DO I remember YOU.. to be honest.. I am still lost.. Unable to remember YOU.. but I wanted to ask YOU something.. can YOU Please help me to Know YOU.. to find the Memory back of YOU.. will you please show me How to remember so that I can just love YOU the way YOU should be loved.. and I would pause.. and I don't hear any word from YOU.. but I do hear YOU saying.. Yes.. YOU were there at the Hospital and it was YOU who was next to Me.. but of course.. I needed to remember YOU first so that YOU can tell me More.. and it keeps on hurting Me.. it keeps on hurting me because I do want to remember.. I want to know what has happened.. about everything.. But.. if YOU are not going to help me.. How am I suppose to Know.. Please tell me.. please Help me so that I can feel what real Love.. what true Love is all about.. my Heart is beating fast whenever I would listen and hear your Voice.. but I want to love YOU and say it Like I mean it because I know that I do love YOU.. that is why I am asking YOU to help me to find the way.. so that I can be in your Heart.. and YOU in my Heart as I remember everything about us.. I am looking at your Picture.. looking at you smiling.. I just wish I can remember this Place.. I am wondering.. who is the One who has taken this Picture.. I know that someone had to stand on the Other side.. and had to look through the lens of the camera.. and just focusing on YOU.. and had to click to take that picture.. as I am in the second room.. looking at the Vase.. the empty Vase.. and looking at your picture.. I wish that It was me.. was it me who was standing on the Other side.. was it really me?? YOU told me that I was with YOU.. and that YOU asking me if I remember any of all these things.. why is it so Hard.. it is so difficult on my part because I want to go back and remember all of these things that has happened.. but the More I am trying to think about YOU.. the more it seems harder to remember these times.. and the Voice.. Your voice I hear when I am talking to you on the Phone.. when YOU call me.. and I would answer.. I am wondering How did I get into this House.. because I just don't remember.. I even saw few people walking in.. the Movers with their truck.. putting all kinds of things into this House.. how did these people got here.. I have so much questions.. but I know that it is you who are putting all these things through.. I am standing in the second room.. looking at your picture.. the only One thing that I can look through.. but I just want to remember YOU.. How did we meet.. How did I fall in love with YOU.. what happened.. I know that YOU told me I got into the car wreck.. could of died in the accident but I guess just the Life that is still in me.. I should be truly thankful to be even alive.. as I am looking at your picture.. I can hear the Phone ringing.. and I see your Picture I have put on the Phone.. and it shows me who is calling me.. as I would pick up the Phone.. putting against my ear to listen to Your Voice.. I wonder.. are you ever going to show UP.. are you going to stop by to visit me.. can you please Help me to remember more about YOU.. because YOU are still a mystery to Me.. I needs to know more.. I needs to ask More.. I want to find out more about YOU.. but.. I know that YOU don't say too much.. why are you being like this to me.. YOU are the one who calls me.. but never say too much.. WHY.. Please tell me what is holding you back to say.. I know that YOU want to say something.. please tell me.. Please tell me because I too have an ear to hear your words.. only if YOU can share and express what is deep in your Heart.. I really wants to know.. and I am looking at another Picture.. this Picture is a Heart.. a red Heart.. why did YOU place this Picture next to Your Picture.. what does this Heart Picture means.. what are you trying to tell me.. Are you telling me that YOU love a Heart.. or trying to tell me that YOU have a Heart.. or are you asking me DO I have a Heart or do I love a Heart.. I must know why.. why put it next to your Picture on the second room.. as I am looking at the two picture on top of the desk.. my hand holding the Phone.. I can hear the breathing.. can I ask YOU something.. WHY is there a picture of A Heart.. who has taken this Picture and why did it be placed in this Desk and I would hear you say.. that I would Love the Heart.. and I am standing here.. with a Question Mark.. that I love a Heart.. does that Means it was me who has taken this Picture.. I know that the first room.. it has a Bed and on the top of the Bed.. I saw a Heart.. it was a pillow Heart.. and It was Me who has taken that picture.. but why can't I remember.. I don't remember taken any picture.. and I would think back.. a little flash back.. I see you sitting on the Top of the Bed.. your arms holding around the Red Heart Pillow.. and I would hear you even tell me the same thing on the Phone.. that one night.. I came into the first room.. and YOU were sitting down on the top of the Bed.. and I would stand and I would watch YOU.. your Arms around the Red Heart.. telling me that YOU love red Heart.. and would smile as you would squeeze it.. and YOU put on the bed next to YOU.. and I would walk closer.. hands holding the camera.. and I would put my eye close to the Lens of the Camera and ZOOM closer.. and snap Shot taking a picture.. and as I put the camera down.. I would turn to look at YOU and I would say.. I want this Heart.. But I want your Heart like this.. can I please have your Heart.. would you please give me YOUR HEART because I truly need it.. I want to have It.. Have your Heart.. and I would see you smile as I would turn to walk away from the first room.. as I am standing still in the Second ROOM.. I am able to get or catch a glimpse.. I think little by little.. things are coming that I am beginning to see something.. Still I can't remember but the little pieces of puzzle like.. I feel like YOU are truly helping me to find YOU back to my Heart.. I know that I loved YOU once that is before the Car accident.. I still can feel inside that I still love YOU.. when YOU are telling me these things on the Phone.. YOU are helping me because without YOU.. How can I know.. it is what YOU know that is bringing things back.. but slowly it is taking a long time.. YOU know that I love YOU.. I have never stopped loving YOU.. only YOU can bring my Heart to be alive.. Only YOU can help me to love YOU once again because I never stopped loving YOU.. as I would turn away.. my Hand holding the Picture of the Heart.. the red Heart.. I would walk out of the second room.. I wonder if I can see Your Heart.. I want to know the color of Your Heart.. would you let me see the color of the Heart.. does it look like this Heart.. the red Heart in the picture.. would you let me see the Color of Your Heart.. because I love this red Heart.. as I would walk out the front door.. it is very cold outside.. and I am standing.. with the Jacket on.. I walk to the front.. LOOKING at the flurry of snows falling from the sky.. and my Hand.. holding the picture of the Red Heart.. I would lift up my arm.. and I can see the Picture.. I lift to see the Red Heart in the Photo.. I want to see your Heart.. I want to touch Your Heart.. I want to know and want to see the color.. can I take a Picture of Your Heart.. I means your Real Heart.. so that I can put this away and look at your Real Heart.. the shape and the color.. and get close so that I can tell your Heart something.. that Maybe if I can see the real Heart of Yours.. I can bring the memories I have lost and can remember everything about YOU.. I really want to know.. I want to be the One who can tell your Heart.. as I have the Phone on the Other hand.. I know that YOU are still there.. because I did not hang UP.. I wanted you to hear my voice.. I wanted you to hear my words as I am speaking looking at the Picture of the Red Heart.. I want to tell YOU that I love YOU.. even though I don't remember much.. I know that IN my Heart.. I still be loving YOU.. because looking at the Red Heart.. it is making me share and express How my thoughts.. that I want to see YOU.. I want to see you visit me.. even though I may not be able to go to you.. I wish that YOU can come to me because I am waiting for YOU.. when are you going to come.. I don't want to take the picture of the Red Heart because it is only a Pillow that is laying on top of the Bed.. what I truly want now is to look at your real Heart.. to see the color of Your Heart.. to take a picture of Your Heart.. and I want to ask YOU about the Vase.. the empty Vase that is in the second room.. I have all these Questions that Only YOU know.. only the answers you can give.. but I do not want to hear Your Voice.. even though I love hearing your Voice.. I want to see you in Person and to hear from YOU.. so that I can be near YOU.. only if YOU can come.. come visit me.. help me to know what this is all about.. because Only you have the answers I am looking for.. Only if YOU were here.. if you were close by.. and if YOU
That YOU are moving On.. what if YOU tell me that YOU are tired of waiting for me.. what if YOU tell me Not to love you any more.. that is why I just can't lose YOU.. as I am walking into the first room.. and I stop to turn to look at the Bed.. the Phone on One hand.. and the Picture.. the Red Heart in the Other hand.. I am looking at the Bed.. I see the Red Heart.. it is laying on top of the Bed.. I put the Phone close to my ear.. I want to tell YOU.. I want to see you here.. It be nice to see you sitting on the top of the bed.. I want to see you Holding.. your arms wrapped around the Red Heart.. would you please come and let me take a picture of YOU holding the Red Heart.. I have the picture of YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful with a lovely smile.. I have the picture of the red Heart.. but what I am missing is the picture of YOU holding this Red Heart.. to fill in the missing link.. if YOU can come.. come and visit just for one day.. so that I can take this one Picture of YOU.. I want to take that picture.. your arms around.. holding and squeezing this Red Heart.. and What I will say.. DO I love YOU.. the More you can hold your arms around the Heart.. the red Heart.. I will say that I do Love YOU.. please squeeze my Heart.. Please Hold My Heart.. if you don't.. then I am going to be the one to hold and squeeze your Heart and I will tell your Heart.. please love Me.. Please can I tell YOU that I love YOU.. Please just love me.. love my Heart so that I can tell your Heart.. that I love YOU.. Now I am missing YOU.. missing this One picture.. YOU are holding the Red Heart.. only YOU can hold it while I take the picture of YOU holding it.. I am looking at the window.. as I am in the room.. I just keep on thinking of YOU.. I know that I am missing YOU.. will I ever see YOU.. and I would walk closer to the window.. and I would kneel and looking Out the window.. I am wondering.. do you think as much as I am thinking of YOU.. I can see that the Moon is come Up.. I am wondering what YOU are doing.. who are you thinking of.. is it snowing over there.. is it raining.. How cold is it there.. and I would look UP and I see the Moon.. it is staring at Me.. and I put my hands together.. I wonder if some one can hear me.. Hear the Heart inside crying.. because I miss YOU.. I want to be with YOU.. but why can't I be with YOU.. when will the time be when I can hold Your Hand.. and Pull you closer to tell your ear.. how much I been missing YOU.. how much I been loving YOU.. even though I want to say it this time.. why is it so hard.. why is it so difficult to tell you.. this distance.. it feels like from in the room.. I am looking Out the window.. Looking UP toward the Moon.. that kind of distance that leaves me puzzled.. and will you tell me Yes.. will you let me love YOU.. I feel like YOU don't want me to love YOU because LOOK how much I needed to wait for YOUR yes to come to me.. or is it No in your Heart.. I am over here tonight.. Looking for an Angel.. WILL the Angel hear me this very night.. can the Angel hear my voice.. or the Angel is Not there.. and I am looking UP.. looking around.. I can't see the Angel.. I don't see any Angel over here.. But I wish that the Angel can hear me.. I wanted to ask.. can I borrow two Wings.. can I have two wings.. I know that staying here in my room.. looking through the window.. and just looking UP to the Moon.. this distance is not going to take me any where.. I be missing YOU.. I want to tell YOU something.. I need to say something.. Let my words say something.. kneeling here and just looking UP at the Moon.. it is going to take me No where.. I want to be with YOU.. I want to Hold YOU.. if it is cold there.. If it is snowing.. or raining.. I want to Hold YOU.. let my hands touch your hands.. let me pull you closer.. so that I can hear your Heart Beating against Mine.. will you let me stay by your side please.. I am looking for the Angel.. I been praying and wishing for an Angel.. I would enter the room.. and I would look at the window.. and I would walk closer to the window in the room and kneel.. looking through the window.. asking.. Are you there.. I am speaking to the Angel.. I know that YOU can hear Me.. because every Night.. I come to the same spot.. asking for the Angel.. I know that YOU be tired of hearing me asking for the same thing.. so why Not just show UP and tell me that YOU are there.. can I have your two wings.. I need two wings.. If you can't give me two wings.. at least let me borrow two wings from YOU.. can YOU Please say something.. I need two wings.. and if the angel would finally show UP and tell me.. I am going to look UP.. Angel.. I want to have your two wings.. and can I borrow it just for one Night.. I want to spend my time Just being by YOUR side.. if the Angel Allows me to borrow two Wings.. I would place the wings on the right and left of the shoulder blade.. and I know that just for that One Night.. I want to be Your Angel.. and I be asking You.. can I fly over the Moon.. and if YOU believe in an Angel.. at least YOU know that I love YOU.. this Angel will Not let YOU GO.. this Angel will stay by your side.. just to tell YOU that I love YOU.. YOU know how much I missed YOU.. How much I been loving YOU and still been loving YOU.. I want be sitting on the top of the tree branch.. just watching you from the distance.. and having YOUR picture in my Hand.. to show YOU NOT to be afraid of me.. Look.. I will tell you.. LOOK at the Picture.. I am not a stranger.. and I would be with a Letter.. LOOK.. I am the One who has been typing YOU.. sharing to YOU how much I love YOU.. so that YOU would not step back or scream.. the Prove that On the Other side.. for a Long Long time.. I been asking for Your Heart.. for YOU TO Love me too.. even though I am not asking you right Now.. but I am asking you.. will you please love me some day.. I do not know How long it is going to take but until YOU can tell me that YOU love me.. but I would show UP as your angel.. and I would flap the two wings and I would lower to look at YOU.. and I would say.. I did not come here to hurt YOU.. I did not come here to scare you either.. I came here to say.. I have been missing YOU for such a Long time.. I had to ask.. I had to beg.. I had to pray.. I had to wish.. and Many Many Many Nights.. I would enter the room.. and go to the window in the room.. and kneel.. I would LOOK UP to see the Moon.. and I open the window and I would be asking for an Angel.. if the Angel is real or true.. and I would be asking for the Angel to answer me.. I would keep on going to the same spot.. until One night the Angel came down to the Window I was kneeling.. I just could not believe my eyes.. I started to cry when I saw the Angel and the Angel asked me why I kept on calling for Him and I asked the Angel.. two wings to Borrow.. just for one Night.. and I would show the Angel the Picture of YOU.. and I been telling the angel My Heart.. How much I been missing YOU.. How many nights I had to come out.. asking for you.. I would start just standing Out side by the House.. and Looking at the Moon.. I would pour out my Heart to the Moon about YOU.. and I knew that NO matter How much I would tell that Moon.. the Moon is Not going to tell me any thing.. it hurts because I wanted YOU to know.. so I went to the room and I believed in the Angel.. Maybe the Angel can Help me instead.. so that is when I started to call for the Angel.. which the angel came.. I asked to borrow the two wings.. which the Angel gave to me for just one Night.. I showed the angel the Letter I been writing to YOU and also the Picture of YOU and I had to be the one to go to see YOU.. I been missing YOU so much lately.. I just had to come.. Now.. I been sitting on the tree branch.. I saw YOU in a distance in a shop.. so I waited.. Of course I did not mean to scare YOU.. but the Angel gave me the permission to be an Angel for this one Night.. Now I am looking at YOU.. I don't want to leave.. I want to stay by your side.. and be there with YOU.. I want tell you how much I love YOU and if I do go.. I know that I am going to be missing YOU.. I hate missing YOU when I love YOU.. why can't YOU come with Me.. or why can't I stay with you.. I brought the Letter to show YOU.. it is Me who been telling YOU and sharing you my Heart.. so that YOU would not think I am crazy.. Do you see this letter.. Do you see the Picture.. it is YOU.. I been having this picture for a Long time.. and Only this Picture.. when I feel down.. I would take a LOOK at your picture.. I can't stop crying.. Because YOU Look so much prettier.. Because YOU look so much Beautiful.. Why do you have to be this Pretty.. WHY do you have to be this Beautiful.. When YOU Love some one.. YOU look much more Beautiful in my eyes then ever.. I don't know what it is.. maybe it is because My Heart sees so much More.. I see Love that Only I can bring and tell and give to YOU.. I just want to hold YOU.. to tell YOU that I have never stopped loving YOU.. I came all down way.. flying over the Moon.. Just to see YOU for this One Night.. Now.. I don't want to leave.. I can't go because I know that I be missing YOU again.. I want to see YOU again.. I want to tell YOU how beautiful YOU are.. How much I want to be with YOU.. that when YOU leave.. when I go.. I know that I am going to ask the Angel again for the two wings.. if I can have the two wings so that I can every Night.. flying over the Moon.. waiting for YOU.. sitting on that Same Tree on that branch.. Just to tell YOU how much I miss YOU and how much I love YOU.. but Now.. since I saw YOU.. and I gave you the letter.. I know that I have to go.. YOU are the Only One who I love.. that is why I just can't go.. I just wanted to say.. I been on the Other side.. just waiting for YOU.. I even stoop by the House.. when the Moon came UP at Night.. I would stare at the MOON as it stare at me.. and I would hold Your Picture.. asking if the Moon can speak
Just can't leave.. But I know that I must because I made the Promise to return.. to give back the two wings that I borrowed.. But I came here to see YOU.. I kept on missing YOU.. just looking at your Picture was not Enough.. just telling YOU through writings was Not enough for Me.. I started More.. I started to feel in my Heart I want More of YOU.. I want Your Love.. I want to see YOU.. your Presence.. your Smile.. Your Beautiful.. Your Scent.. I wanted More because My Heart started to Love YOU more.. I want More of YOU because I love you a lot More now.. why can't I be with YOU.. WHY can't I hold YOU.. my arms is killing me because it is YOU I want to hold so tight.. I want to hold you close to tell YOU.. why can't YOUR Heart be opened to me.. please tell your Heart to be open to me so that YOU will know who is the ONE been loving YOU.. It is Me who loves YOU.. I don't think there is Another WHO can Love you More and More as I can because I am able to tell YOU Heart to Heart.. if a Person is like a wall.. what good is that Person.. do NOT tell you how Much but YOU know that I can tell YOU.. PULL you into my arms.. and LOOK at your ear and I will speak.. telling YOU.. I am the One who Loves YOU.. Open your Heart.. Please.. Tell your Heart to Open to me so I can tell you more and more.. I love YOU.. as I am holding Your hand.. My hand just can't let Go.. and It is killing me because I know that it is time for me to go.. I am looking at your Picture.. sitting by the window.. Looking UP at the Moon.. and just being able to fly across the Moon.. asking the Angel if I can borrow two Wings.. I have written another Letter.. I want to give you this Letter that is in my Hands.. when I came Home.. I saw the Angel waiting for Me.. My Heart broken into pieces and started to Miss YOU all over again.. When can I see YOU again.. when can I see YOU.. WHY do I keep on missing YOU.. and I am looking at the Angel.. Can I borrow the two wings again.. I made a Promise to YOU that I am going to give YOU another Letter.. just to tell YOU how I truly feel.. just to share to YOU about what is deep in my Mind.. deep in my thoughts.. just to tell you that I love YOU.. Only if YOU can accept the Letter I give.. will you take the Letter again.. When I saw the Angel.. who was waiting for me.. I would ask this Angel.. How can I be an Angel.. because I just want to be close to YOU.. even though I do not ask for your Love.. I am not asking YOU.. can YOU love me.. it is what is in my Heart.. who is the One loving YOU.. I am truly feeling like I am filled and Full just by loving YOU.. and the Angel would look at me.. if I become the An angel.. I can't ever be with YOU.. but can be Near YOU.. be close to YOU and Just love YOU from the Far.. from the distance just to be there and just to love YOU and Only thing I can do is miss YOU.. and I would ask the Angel.. am I able to share.. tell and write letters to YOU.. the Angel tells me.. I still can.. I can always love YOU.. and able to tell you.. express the Joy of loving YOU.. I do remember begging this Angel.. that I needed to borrow the two wings.. or if I can be an Angel instead.. as long as I can love YOU.. as long as I can write you Letters to tell YOU how much I love YOU.. so I made the Deal with Angel.. he is going to bring me two wings and gives to me as a Gift and I will become Your Angel.. the One who loves YOU from a far and from distance.. I do remember sitting by the desk.. pulling Out the White Sheet of Clean Paper.. grabbing a Pen and started to write YOU a Letter.. to tell YOU this.. I would say.. I am Your Angel.. Please do not be afraid of Me.. but to know how much I love YOU.. when I get close to the window and the Sun goes down and the Moon with the Stars comes UP the sky.. I would open the Window and stare into the Night.. just thinking of YOU.. just missing YOU always.. I do not want to miss you any more.. there is this Ache in my Heart.. there is this Pain in my soul.. looking into the Night.. Looking at the Moon.. I am watching the Moon looking at me.. and when I look at the Moon.. I think of YOU.. YOU keep on crossing my Mind.. I can feel this pain.. a sharp Pain because I want to be close to YOU.. When can I see YOU.. When can I come close to YOU and reveal to YOU that It is Me who be loving you the Most.. would you please let me come close.. so that I don't have to keep on missing YOU.. I feel like I needs to make this Move first.. that I needs to get close.. even though I may not be able to be with YOU.. I know that if I am your Angel.. at least I get to see YOU.. see you closer and able to love you More because I don't miss YOU.. this wall.. this distance that is not able to let me get to YOU.. I know that I must break down the wall.. break down the distance.. this missing YOU.. so that I can be at least to tell YOU that I love YOU.. it is driving me Insane.. it is driving me crazy Now because I know my Heart.. I know what is IN my Heart and WHO I be loving for such a Long time.. that is why Now.. I just want to be close.. would you please accept these Letters that I write.. I just want to tell you what crosses my Mind.. and that without YOU.. I know that I can't Live.. without YOU I can't breathe so Please Help me to Love YOU more.. as I am writing on the Clean Sheet of Paper.. and I hear the Knock on the window.. and I turn to Look.. it is the Angel who has brought me the gift.. the two Wings.. NO more asking to borrow but Now I have two wings.. Once I put the two Wings on the Back.. I will become Your Angel.. who can be near YOU.. Not missing YOU no More.. I see the Angel leaves the two Wings by the Window and He leaves.. I am looking at your Picture.. I am so sorry that I have to be an Angel.. only thing I can do is to be Close.. just to be there and just loving you from the Distance.. But I do get to tell you how much I love YOU.. at least I have the Voice to share from these letters.. to tell you I love YOU.. for so long.. I have never stopped loving YOU.. will you please let me Love YOU still.. as I open the Window and grabbing the two wings.. I am looking at them.. both hands holding the two wings.. I am looking at your Picture sitting on the top of the desk.. I can't breathe.. because it is so Hard for me to breathe right Now.. I want to go.. I want to be with YOU Now.. if I can't do this.. I know I be going crazy.. so please understand why I am doing this for YOU.. I put the two Wings on my Back.. and I fall on the Floor.. and crying.. as I am holding your Picture.. IN my hand is your Picture.. I want to be with YOU.. I want to be with YOU forever.. If I stay here.. I know that I will miss you more.. and Missing YOU drives me Crazy and in such great pain.. I feel aches all over my body.. I am wiping my tears as I am looking at your Picture.. why do I have to be so far from YOU.. why do YOU have to live so far that I must do this.. WHY.. as I feel this Change.. I become Your Angel.. but as long as I can still love YOU and tell YOU How much I love YOU.. I don't care what happens to Me.. as long as YOU know.. YOU know that My Love for you is surreal.. that I love you for real.. and as long as YOU get this Message.. I am looking at the Bottle.. I been taking few shots.. before I would write you a Letter.. I would have the shot Glass.. and with the Bottle of Rice Wine.. I would pour on the Shot Glass.. My Heart could not take this Pain.. this Ache.. so I started to drink.. so that I don't feel this Pain in my Heart.. help Me to love YOU.. Help me by accepting the Letters so that I know that I have a chance to Love YOU... as I would stand UP.. on two feet.. I would roll the Paper and I would grab the Empty Bottle of the rice wine.. put the Rolled paper into the Bottle.. and I am standing.. walking to the window.. and I am looking at the Moon.. I would walk away from the room and go out side.. as I am standing outside.. One hand holding your Picture.. Looking at your Picture.. and On the Other hand I holding the Letter inside the Bottle.. I know that I must get to YOU.. I must fly over the Moon and go where YOU at.. Please be where I met YOU.. Please know that I am coming and I am going to YOU.. I have just written a Letter.. I have told YOU in the letter.. I have asked the Angel.. if I can be Your Angel.. so that I can be near YOU and love you from the distance.. if I stay here.. How can I show YOU that I love YOU.. How can I tell YOU that I love YOU.. so Now.. just standing here.. going out side and just looking at the Moon is Not going to do anything for Me.. I hope that when YOU receive the Message.. the Letter inside this Bottle.. will you open the Letter.. will you please accept and read it.. because I put so much time and thoughts.. my Heart into each Letter.. letting YOU know How much I miss YOU.. I miss you that It drives me Insane.. I miss you that it drives me crazy.. if YOU can't come to me.. then I will go to YOU.. but Now as your Angel.. please accept my Heart.. Please accept the Letters I give YOU.. and I am looking UP the MOON as I am speaking from My Heart.. I am looking UP at the Moon and telling these Words to the Moon.. I know that YOU can't hear me.. because of the distance.. for being so far away.. but I will let you know soon as I fly over the Moon to the Place you are.. Please Open YOUR Heart.. Please let me In.. Open your Heart for Me.. and please don't reject how much I love YOU.. how much I miss YOU.. Please open your Heart and receive and accept.. I am crying Out as I am saying these things.. LOOKING UP at the Moon.. Looking at your Picture.. Holding hard on the Bottle.. I want to give.. I want to give as much as I can.. I want to give YOU how much I love YOU.. I just want to give you my ALL.. my everything to YOU.. and the two wings starts to flap.. as I feel myself being lifted from the Ground.. WHY must I change to Love YOU.. why can't I love you for Me.. WHY do I must
The Small Two bed room Home.. I am wondering.. why did I even buy a House with two rooms.. I have no one coming over.. but I know that If I prepare the place.. Maybe.. some one will show Up.. I have never met the person who use to Live in this Small Log Cabin house.. as I walk into One of the rooms.. There is a Desk.. I wonder why someone has left this Desk Behind.. something stops me before I turn to walk away.. I see something on the TOP of the Desk.. what is It.. I am wondering.. what is It.. SO I would walk closer to the Desk.. there is a Written Note.. and Next to the Note is a Picture.. of course I can only see the back of the Picture.. I am wondering.. maybe it must be the Picture of the Person who use to live in this Small Log Cabin House.. But why would some one leave a precious Gift behind.. if I lived in this House.. I know for sure I will Not leave anything special.. or Precious to me behind.. But.. should I turn the Picture over to see who this Person is.. I am standing there.. thinking of.. but I know that this is Not my picture.. WHY would I turn it over to look if it is Not for Me.. I am sure.. maybe the Person was in a rush.. and has forgotten to take this Picture.. but.. WHY would YOU write a Note for me.. I know that the written Note.. it is telling me.. giving me an instruction.. but why would you tell me something.. I can just live whatever I want.. I see the Note Next to the Picture.. Both are facing where I cannot see.. as I would stop.. maybe I should take a Look.. must be very important if YOU have written for the New Home Owner.. which I have purchased this Small Log Cabin Home from YOU.. I have never met YOU.. but Of course I do remember before the Contract.. YOU called me on the Phone.. and Got a chance to listen to Your Beautiful Voice.. Now.. I am very curious.. YOUR voice.. truly felt like I was listening to an Angel.. I know that If you sang a SONG.. I bet it would melt my Heart like the Snow Flakes.. I would stand Out side.. before I came to the DOOR.. to Unlock.. I would LOOK Up to the sky.. My hand opens.. I would watch the Falling snow flakes.. when It touched my hand.. it just melted and maybe Your Voice.. if YOU sang to Me.. My Heart can melt the way the Snow Flakes can melt into my hands.. I was smiling because I been living in apartment for a Long time.. just paying rent to rent monthly.. But.. Now.. able to purchase a new Home.. Out here in the Country side.. walking and climbing on the mountains.. just enjoying the fresh cold air as I would be walking through the Snow.. never felt so Alive in my life.. But Now.. I am here.. inside this Small Log Cabin Home.. and I just walked into a ROOM.. YOU did not take the desk.. there is a Picture laying on the TOP of the desk face down.. with a written Note facing down.. I am just wondering.. I remember when I picked UP the Phone.. and hearing your voice on the Other side.. on the Other line.. Your Voice.. it truly touched my Heart.. I begin to wonder more about YOU because of this Sensational touch.. Your Voice moved my Heart.. I felt it kick inside of Me.. and never felt that way before.. so I would start wondering.. I wonder How YOU would look.. as YOU were so happy to sell the House and even telling me Congratulation on the purchase of the New Home.. as I would share with YOU how I lived in rents all my Life.. but able to get a house means everything to me.. giving me a great deal in the purchase.. of course I wanted to ask YOU.. if YOU can sing.. because I wanted to know if YOU can sing.. can YOU sing a song so that I can listen to Your voice with my Heart opened.. but of course I never asked.. YOU probably think I am a crazy person.. as I am standing by the desk.. My hand grabs the Picture.. I wanted to turn it over.. I wanted to see the person who I just spoke with ON the Phone.. YOUR voice.. I just want to hear again.. can I listen to Your Voice.. would you let me call you on the Phone so that I can listen.. My Heart wants to listen to Your Voice again.. before I want to ask YOU.. I want to know how you look.. why are you so Nice.. why are you so kind to me.. I want to know who YOU are.. WHY would you leave this Picture behind if YOU have never met me.. if YOU have never seen me in person.. why leave me Your Precious gift.. Your Special gift.. I am nothing but a stranger to YOU.. what if I am a weird person.. some crazy person.. would YOU not be afraid of Me.. As I grab the Picture and turn to LOOK at it.. I see YOU sitting.. and My Heart jumps.. My Heart skips missing that Beat.. Just like Your Voice.. soft and beautiful.. I see your picture.. I see YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful too.. YOU are so Lovely.. feels like YOU can take my breathe way.. then what happens to my Breathe if you take it from Me.. what are you doing to me Now.. WHY leave this Picture behind and when I see this Picture.. I can feel my Breathe.. it wants to be released from Me.. I can't breathe.. my eyes wants to say I can't breathe because YOU are so Beautiful.. as I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. YOU are sitting down.. and I am wondering what is it that YOU are holding.. Why are you holding a Vase.. is it a vase for flowers.. I am not sure why YOU are leaving this Picture with Me.. what does it means.. why are you showing me this Picture for.. I have no clue.. I have no idea.. but why are you letting me see this picture.. and making my Heart to say I want to cry.. I have never met you before.. But How is this possible for Me.. why do I feel like I want to love YOU.. please tell me how can this be true because I have never met you before.. as I am looking at your arms holding this vase.. why is it empty.. are YOU not suppose to put something into that Vase.. it is an empty Vase Your hands are holding.. Please.. OH Please tell me what is the meaning of this because I want to know.. I have no clue.. I have no idea why you are showing me this.. I don't see any empty Vase.. but only this Picture.. with a Note.. so I would go over.. my hand grabs the Note and flips to look.. and YOU have written to me about the Picture.. and telling me about the Vase.. an Empty Vase.. and YOU have left it on the Other Room.. and I am not sure why YOU would tell me this.. what am I suppose to do with the Empty Vase.. I don't have any flowers.. and all it tells me to take good care of the Empty Vase.. and Now.. YOU are letting me to keep it.. so I am standing in this room wondering.. YOU are giving me this Empty Vase.. but I have no flowers to put in it.. so what am I suppose to do with this.. SO I would turn around walking out of this room.. the Other room is next on the right.. as I enter the second room.. There is another Desk.. and ON top of the Desk is the Vase.. an empty Vase sitting on the top of the Desk.. am I suppose to tell you something about this vase.. am I suppose to share with YOU what I want to do because it is Not making any sense with me a this Point.. I feel like I am Not the Owner of this House anymore.. since YOU are leaving things behind for me to take care of It.. I am not a male servant.. and NO.. I am not here to clean this House either.. I just purchased this House from YOU.. but WHY do I feel like there is a person who Owns it and maybe I am just renting this Place.. that is how I am feeling because.. I have to watch over things that does Not belongs to me.. I have brought my own bags and luggage so that NOW I can live in this house.. and I stand on the second room.. Looking at the Vase.. has water inside this Vase so it is Not completely empty.. but still looks empty to Me.. so I walk over to the second Desk.. I see a Picture with the Face Down.. so is it a Prank.. is this a joke because I am not feeling it at this Point.. my hand grabs and I turn to look at the front.. I see a Picture of a Heart.. as I am looking at the picture closer.. YOU have taken a picture of a Heart shape.. it is a Pillow I can see.. but why are you showing me this Picture.. I know that I love Heart.. but what does it means.. why are you doing this to Me.. are you playing games with me.. saying there is a Picture in the second room.. maybe YOU love pillows with Heart shape.. are you trying to tell me something through the two pictures YOU have put face down.. and there is a Number written on the corner of this Picture.. and I know that It is Your Number.. Looking at my phone.. I would check if this NUMBER is the same Number you called me on the phone.. and It matches correctly.. I am very confused.. I am so Confused because why would you show me these things if YOU don't know me.. and there is a Note also.. it was next to the Picture.. My hand goes over to grab the Note and I turn it over to take a LOOK.. and I would read it.. it says.. Do you remember Me.. when we were YOUNG.. because NOW I remember YOU is what the Note been written ON.. and I am thinking.. Have we ever met before.. DID I see you when we were YOUNG.. I don't really remember meeting any one when we were Young.. but it seems like YOU know me.. why would you tell me this.. Maybe YOU are writing to another person.. but then knowing that it is I who just purchased this House.. It has to be for Me.. who else lives in this House.. I am the only one who bought this House from YOU.. so I know that we met before.. and telling me when were young.. HOW long was this.. How old was I when I met YOU.. Please tell me.. and I am thinking about calling YOU on the Phone.. But.. I am Not just going to call YOU and say I don't remember YOU.. so How am I suppose to answer this question because I don't remember.. I am trying to go back.. way way way back to see if I do remember you.. I am closing both eyes.. Both.. Nothing I can see back then.. why.. when did we ever meet before.. I am looking at Your Picture.. the Picture of YOU holding.. arms around the Empty Vase.. and I would look at the Picture.. WHEN was it that we meet.. I have No clue
손담비???
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Oink Oink. To tell you that My Heart is dying.. it is dying became My Heart wants to love YOU.. but to say.. to tell YOU something will Not be enough for this Heart to smile once again.. as I am looking at your Picture.. I can't stop these tears that is coming Out.. rolling Out of my eyes.. LOOKING at your Picture drives me crazy.. it makes me crazy because I know that right Now my Heart is dying.. I want to put your Picture away.. PUT it out of my Life but the More I try to push your Picture away.. I can feel it telling me to bring that Picture Back.. and I am Looking as I turn to this Empty Glass Jar.. which is sitting on this Table in the room.. and I know that when I look at this Table.. and I turn to look at the Glass Jar.. when it is Empty.. I want to put something into this Empty GLASS JAR and I want to shout Words and say something because it is what I am Seeing when I lift to LOOK at the desktop Computer monitor.. I look at the screen.. and ALL I can do is look at the key board.. what AM I TO DO.. what AM I to say to YOU.. what can I SAY to make it right.. for YOUR HEART to know what I feel that when I LOOK at my Heart.. My Heart is screaming inside of Me.. and tells me that I AM DYING.. dying for the Love that I need from YOU.. will you Please accept these words of mine that I am telling YOU that I know I still love YOU.. does these WORDS means anything to YOU YET.. I am hoping that as Much I can tell YOU.. would it really matter when YOU receive it.. do you accept these Words.. DO you believe that it is ME who has been loving YOU or you still thinks that this is ALL a JOKE.. I would lift UP my head looking UP the Desktop computer screen.. before my Hands touch the keyboard.. before my fingers pushes into the key boards of this Desktop Computer monitor.. I needs to see Your Picture.. or my Heart says I am dying.. My eyes needs to grab HOLD UNTO your Picture and I would turn and I would LOOK at the Empty Glass Jar sitting next to the Key Board of the desktop computer.. but when I LOOK at the empty Glass Jar.. I can't see anything.. I can't find anything.. what if YOUR HEART was inside this Empty Glass Jar.. would I need to LOOK at the Keyboard to type and write to YOU.. would I turn to lift UP my Head to LOOK at the desktop computer monitor screen.. it always starts with a Blank screen.. and I would have to put.. say and type and write.. but there are times that when I want to say something to YOU more than LOOKING at the Blank computer Monitor screen.. that is why I would have the Empty Glass Jar close to me.. it goes with me.. and when ever I want to see something.. I would place the Empty Glass Jar even though right NOW.. it may be nothing in it.. I want to ask YOU.. I need your Heart.. I need your Big Heart.. I want to have your Big Heart.. all this time I been wanting.. all this time I been asking and needing your Big Heart.. that is why even in the room.. JUST in Case.. even though I have the Key Board.. I have the Pen and the Pencil.. Papers.. even I have the Desktop computer Monitor with me all in One ROOM.. I would have this Empty Glass Jar with your Picture near to Me.. most of the times I be typing and writing on the Keyboard.. LOOKING UP at the Desktop computer Monitor and LOOKING at the White Sheet of paper.. but when I want to LOOK for something More.. I would LOOK at your Picture.. and Close my two eyes.. and I would Picture in my Head.. Your Big Heart.. I see your Big Heart slowly coming Down and sits inside this Empty Glass Jar.. and I would smile when I look at your Big Heart.. My arms would stretch Out.. as it wraps around the Glass Jar.. I would place my cheek and can feel the coldness glass of the Jar and I would turn so that My ear.. I would ask.. I would like to hear your Big Heart beating.. can YOU Please give me the sound.. will YOUR BIG HEART beat when I get close to your BIG HEART.. and I would turn.. and I would whisper looking at the Glass Jar.. LOOKING at the BIG HEART.. can Your Heart Hear me.. Can YOUR HEART hear my voice.. can I tell YOUR HEART that I love you.. that I been missing YOU for such a LONG TIME.. Please tell your Big Heart.. I love you.. Please tell your Big Heart how much I missed YOU.. missed you so Much that Even with looking at your Picture.. it seems like you are so Close when I look at your Picture but I know that deep inside my Heart.. YOU are not here.. and I would ask your BIG HEART looking at the Glass Jar.. when can I see YOU.. because I know that YOU are still Not here.. do you know how much I am aching when I don't see YOU.. can't feel you so Close.. that It hurts me.. in so much pain I can feel this ache.. because I know that YOU belong in my arms.. YOU belong with me.. in my arms you know that I can love you always.. YOU Know that I can love you forever and ever and tell YOU thousand years goes BY.. that I love YOU.. even ten years even twenty years.. thirty years.. sixty years goes by one hundred years goes by as long as I can live.. I know that I can love you still.. but I don't want to open my two eyes.. I can't open them yet because I know what will happen when I do.. when I open both eyes.. and IN MY ARMS I am still holding.. this Glass Jar.. when I open both eyes I be holding.. but I will NOT see your Big Heart.. I will only see the Empty Glass Jar and what happens to my eyes when I can't see your BIG HEART.. I get more emotionally about it.. I needs to cry because without YOUR BIG HEART.. I know that I can't say the words to YOU that I love you.. I want to tell YOUR BIG HEART that I been loving YOU.. do you believe the Words.. and when I open both of my eyes and I look at the Glass Jar.. I do not see your Big Heart.. my hands grabbing unto the Glass Jar.. and I am crying for your Big Heart.. I love you.. where are you.. Where is Your Big Heart.. I just saw your Big Heart inside this Glass Jar but now I don't see Your Big Heart any more and I am shaking the Empty Glass Jar.. and sobbing and crying as I am looking for your Big Heart.. and I turn to LOOK at the Key Board.. looking UP at the desktop computer monitor is the white screen.. now I am missing YOU.. and Now I needs to tell you something because I know that I will suffer.. I will drown in despair.. I will die if I can't tell you what is in my Heart.. that I need you right Now.. that I need you.. but I am LOOKING and asking for Your Big Heart.. I need to see your Big Heart so that I can tell YOU that I love you.. am I still allow to tell YOU without I am seeing your Big Heart.. OH PLEASE.. give me Your Big Heart.. OH PLEASE.. tell me where did you Hide your BIG HEART.. I need to now because it is Killing me right Now.. do you want me to die.. do you want me to dig my own grave and bury myself alive.. then please.. OH PLEASE tell me where are you hiding your Big Heart.. I need Your Big Heart.. send your BIG HEART to my direction so that I can tell YOUR BIG HEART that I love you.. to tell you that I love you still and that I am dying in missing you right Now.. as I would look at the desktop computer monitor screen.. I would look at the Key board to type to you my Heart and I would say to YOU.. I feel like I am so Lost and so Confused.. that whenever I would close both eyes of Mine and I would turn to LOOK at the empty Glass Jar.. when Both eyes are Open.. I would LOOK and I would Not see anything inside.. and I just don't understand that when I close both of my eyes.. it is when I can see YOUR BIG HEART.. it floats down slowly and Enters in the Glass Jar and I am able to look at HOW BIG that Heart of Yours are.. and I would smile Looking at the Big Heart.. I want to touch your Big Heart.. I would even think of putting my hand inside from the TOP of the opening of the Glass Jar.. to see How would it feel to TOUCH your Big Heart.. can I pull your Big Heart and IN MY ARMS hold it.. I want to hold your BIG HEART in my arms and to watch it snuggle.. can I kiss your BIG HEART holding in my arms and LOOKING at it with a BIG SMILE.. of course I don't want to scare your Heart.. your BIG HEART.. so the only thing that I can do is look at your BIG HEART through the Glass of the Glass Jar.. I want to keep my both eyes closed because that is the ONLY way I can see your BIG HEART sitting inside the Glass Jar.. when my eyes are opened.. I am so sad.. and Missing YOU so Bad.. and I want to say because I would pull to hold unto your Picture.. when I LOOK at your Picture.. My Heart just burns and I look at the Glass Jar which is empty.. I look to look for YOUR BIG HEART.. that is why I get so upset when I have to open the two eyes NOT TO see your BIG HEART anymore.. but when I do close the two eyes.. I see your Big Heart inside the Glass Jar.. I am able to get close to the Glass.. and I am able to say some words.. like I love looking at this BIG HEART.. YOU have a BIG HEART.. so BIG makes me smile even bigger.. because YOUR BIG HEART has enough room for me to say a lot more than I can.. to able to say much more I am so much happier because I can tell you that My Heart.. that it is ME who is loving YOU.. I am loving YOU more.. do you know that.. but once I have to open two eyes.. I am LOOKING at the empty Glass Jar in front of me.. in the ROOM this empty Glass jar sits on top of the table.. My hands holding on the sides of the Glass Jar.. I don't see your Big Heart.. My Tears running down.. I am missing YOU.. I miss YOU.. I miss your Big Heart.. and I would pull out your Picture and LOOK at you through the Picture.. and I would turn to LOOK at the Key Board.. my hands on the key board and fingers starts to push into the Letters of the keyboard and I am able to tell you HOW my Heart is feeling and my mind of thinking of you.. and missing you as I am looking UP at the desktop computer monitor screen.. and I am able to read a Letter I am writing to YOU that I love you and I am missing you
I am looking at the Wall of this Work Shop.. it breaks my Heart that YOU are not here any More.. you told me and YOU have promised Me that YOU would come visit Me and I would be waiting for YOU.. I could Not even close this Work Shop because I would think about that what IF YOU would stop By and YOU told me.. even after YOU broke My Heart leaving me Speechless as you went with another Man.. when I find OUT and HE came to this Work Shop and I would remember picking UP the Phone and I heard his voice which was a very familiar voice and wanted me to bring some Flowers out of the back of this garden.. telling me that HE wanted to give to the Special Person who he loved and wanted to show ME who and this FLOWERS in the back of the Garden.. I started this Flower shop because It was meant to show YOU that I loved YOU first.. I wanted to surprise you that I gave my whole Heart.. I put my whole time building this Work shop but it is a FLOWER shop just to remind YOU that I loved YOU first.. and I remember you came IN.. and wanted to help.. wanted to work with me and I would show YOU the Garden.. what these seeds that I would sow into the grounds meant to me.. and the Seeds would grow and produce and reproduce as it brought forth a FLOWER.. I remember you telling me when you saw the Flowers.. Those were.. these FLOWERS were your most favorite flowers and it was YOU who gave them the Names to each Flowers.. it was the day when the friend of Mine came to pick UP the Flowers.. I would cut the leaves off and he wanted a DOZEN of these Flowers and I was so happy for this friend of mine.. and I put into the Flowers Box.. the Door opens and He comes to pick up the Boxes.. and I wanted to see the Person he wanted to present to me but YOU did not come.. of course YOU came that Night and when I saw YOU coming into this Flower Work Shop and YOU telling me that YOU wanted to stop working and had to quit.. and that YOU are moving far away and with the man you told me you loved.. and I had to hear all this at once.. I saw you bringing back the Flower's Box and I knew who he was because I am the One who gave the Dozen of these Flowers and put into this same Box.. I just could not believe this.. why Must I have to find it this Hard to believe.. why do I must be the ONE to be hurt the Most.. YOU know that I am the One who Loves you the Most.. I can Love you so Much Better and so Much stronger because I know that I started to love YOU when I was at the Orphan house.. we were very young.. and never thought that I would start to love you then.. I wanted someone to Love.. for understand that I can Love you more and More and It seems like you never get it.. I know that I am Poor.. and seems Like I have nothing to give.. to be Honest truth.. Material things and Money is NOT my fit.. I may be very poor and Broke.. I may not have the Lavish things that YOU can dream of.. but I know what Love is and what happens when a MAN truly understand HOW to love a Woman Like YOU.. but It hurts me and breaks me when we are NOT in the same page together.. I am not asking for YOU to Love me back.. when did I ever forced YOU to say LOVE ME.. I have never wanted because I just wanted to Love you as a MAN can Love a WOMAN.. YOU have showed UP when My Life was torn into pieces and when it seems like everything that I loved has been taken away from Me.. I lost my family.. and had to move into this Orphan Home.. I had NO HOPE.. NO DREAM.. I had NOTHING but just everything TORN apart and I wanted to DIE.. I did Not want to Live anymore.. there was NOTHING FOR ME TO LIVE for and I was with Bunch of these Children who was broken as MUCH as ME.. how can these others LIKE myself can help Me.. and I was crushed.. my spirit and my soul.. my Heart was crushed and I would be crying in the Night.. asking why am I still breathing.. why am I still be living For.. that is when YOU came with your Both Parents.. WHY did you come when I was helpless and hopeless part of my Life.. when everything seems like there is NO WORTH in my Life.. but YOU came.. I did Not want to talk to anyone.. just wanted to be a Loner instead.. I remember YOU came and YOU sat next to me.. there was NOT much of words of exchange.. but It is Your Presences.. YOU do NOT have to say much because YOUR SMILE is all I needed at that time of my despair.. I remember Your parents would keep on bringing you over to visit.. and the Poor Children who had NO family.. they started to want to get close to YOU.. YOU would be sharing a lot of stories.. especially going to the Private school.. and How the Best of the teachers were the ones teaching YOU.. and How you fell in love with this One Art Class and many of these Children who came from the Broken world.. just wanted to listen to what YOU had to say.. I would be turned the other way.. did NOT wanted to be a Part.. but wanted to sit Outside alone.. I would be crying most of the time because I felt everything is NO FAIR for Me.. and I do remember YOU came Over and YOU sat next to Me.. and YOU told me this as YOU show me this One Picture You drew in the art class.. asking me why I was NOT inside with the Other Children who loves to listen to the stories that YOUR PARENTS would be sharing as missionaries of the poor countries and I just could not be a part if what I would say to YOU.. that My Heart is hurting me so Much.. and YOU gave me this ONE GIFT.. that Picture hit the Number ONE in your Class as the Art Teacher gave YOU and How it went into the Nationals and YOU have won the Prize.. of course I saw it on the News because it was broadcast every where and I would look at it.. in my hands is the Art Sketch Paper.. that YOU drew this One Flower.. a SUN FLOWER but it was so Unique.. it was different the want YOU drew and colored It and YOU telling me that ONE DAY.. you will find this ONE UNIQUE SUN FLOWER and as I would look at this Picture.. the more I looked at it.. the More I started to Love it for some reason.. and I had never felt this way Before.. I remember after YOU gave me this Art Sketch Paper.. YOU were gone for awhile and YOU just got so Busy with schooling and for YOUR Future of becoming a Surgeon.. I remember I left the Orphan HOUSE and started to travel.. Looking for a way I can find this Kind of Wild Flower.. this Unique SUNFLOWER and I was able to go to a Far land where a MAN would sell this Seed.. the MAN tells me that HE was Not sure but can be true.. I would open this Work shop which is all about selling Flowers.. and I wanted to show YOU that this FLOWER is real because I know it came from YOU.. I believe it because I loved YOU then.. I know that I could Not say a word then because I was shy and the TIME was Not right then.. but I had to wait.. when I saw the Flower.. the Unique Sun Flower YOU drew which went to the Nationals and WON the grand prize I wanted to show YOU that when YOU love as much as YOU believe that IT can happen and it exist.. the believe of Loving YOU.. it does comes true.. but I know that IT has to be at the right TIME.. or I can mess up everything I have waited.. When I saw YOU coming to help Me.. and YOU wanted to help me to build this Flower work shop.. It got so Popular.. and A lot of people noticed who you were because the SAME UNIQUE SUN FLOWER went Out into the News and was known everywhere.. when the People find Out where it was many people came to this Work Shop and as I would show YOU.. it was my dream come true when YOU were with me helping Me.. I watched YOU leave after YOU told me the Breaking News about How you have some Other Man to Love.. and YOU left.. I wanted to close this Work shop.. this Flower Shop because If felt abandon without YOU.. I would see you everywhere even though you were Gone.. and I reached a Point that I was so sick.. that I needed to close this SHOP and just could not work for a while.. of course many years went down the Line since I would come across YOU.. which I remember I had to go to the Clinic and I would be waiting quietly siting for My Name to be called after making the Appointment.. I remember I went into this One ROOM and Sat down waiting.. I would never thought that I would see you again.. as I was sitting on the chair in the room of where YOU came in.. I saw YOU.. and I just wanted to cry.. because I missed YOU so Much.. I missed you to Death and to endure this pain of missing.. this suffering of this Heart ache inside of Me.. I could Not say a WORD to YOU.. I just wanted to get rid of My Heart.. I would see you stand there.. and asking why I am here and I would finally Tell YOU.. even though many times I wanted to say it back Then.. I would say it in my dreams.. every time I saw you in the dreams and YOU would be at the Work Shop of the Flowers or In the Orphan House when we were YOUNG.. I would come Out as bold.. but in reality I just could NOT say a Word.. and I knew that this was the Only chance to tell YOU before it is going to be TOO late to ever come across you again.. and I would look at YOU and I would say.. I came here to get a surgery.. that My Heart is dying inside of Me and My Heart is sick.. I really Need a New Heart.. a Healthy Heart which does NOT cause me to be sick anymore like this.. I feel like I needs to CUT my Heart Off and that is why I came to the Heart surgeon.. and I would say to YOU as you are the Heart Surgeon.. I have kept this Inside of me For a Long time.. because I did NOT want to ruin our friendship.. always wanted to be close to YOU.. and I started to Miss you more and More.. when YOU left the Workshop.. the Flower Shop.. I started to Miss YOU.. I would close my eyes and I would see you there.. even when My eyes are wide Opened I still see you there.. what do I do.. I had to wait
More years to go by to KNOW what is WRONG with the Heart of Mine.. I been missing YOU as soon as YOU left and could NOT tell you the WORDS that I needed to say then.. that I loved YOU when I was very young.. and I would see you stop.. the Day YOU came close to me when I was Out side alone.. and YOU sat next to me.. YOU gave me this One Picture.. the Art sketch Picture YOU drew of the Unique SUN FLOWER.. when YOU gave me this Picture.. it was truly special in my eyes and I felt something that NIGHT.. I felt ALIVE that It was YOU who gave me even something that seems to be so SMALL.. but How that One Picture was broadcast to the News and even won the Grand Prize in the National stage.. it shows me something.. I would tell myself that ONE DAY I am going to surprise YOU and it be the DAY when I find this ONE UNIQUE SUN FLOWER and let you see what happens when a MAN truly Loves a WOMAN like YOU.. and I made a Journey after I left that Orphan House.. going and finding the seeds and also researching about this Seed what I must do to grow it into and the Kind of soils that I needed to use for it to help it to grow.. to produce and reproduce into this UNIQUE SUN FLOWER.. I know that I hid this feeling from you for a long time but before I get rid of this Heart and I came to YOU as the Heart surgeon and I believe YOU are the right person to Take this Heart of Mine away and give me a New Heart.. which that Heart may never Love again.. It hurts me to love YOU because I can't eat right.. I can't sleep in the Night.. I am always thinking of YOU and just missing YOU and the Best thing I can do for NOW is for YOU to remove My Heart away from YOU.. and as I am looking at the One Picture.. the Unique Sun Flower I even brought to Show the Heart surgeon.. it is YOUR DRAWING and the Painting.. I wanted to look at it for the last Time before I removed My Heart.. but I see that YOU are the right Artist.. I have tried everything.. even you saw years back HOW it made the Hit.. and How so many people came to the Flower Work Shop for this UNIQUE WILD SUN FLOWER.. people went crazy when It was true.. when I showed it to the people and you were there helping ME and working together in that Flower Shop.. NOW YOU are gone and has moved On.. and My Heart is so SICK that I came here to get the Heart surgery.. I want to give this Back to YOU.. because NOW I know how much I love YOU.. I have never stopped believe that ONE DAY YOU will know how much I love YOU.. never thought it would be this very day.. the day I came to get my Heart Surgery.. and I know I came to the right place.. to the right person because IT IS YOU who I love.. I been loving YOU for such a LONG TIME.. I am Not afraid to let My Heart to GO.. I was scared to lose you then and Maybe that is the reason why YOU have left.. but NOW.. I know I am going to remove this Heart away so I can say it before I let this Heart GO.. Please give me a NEW HEART.. so I can start everything from the scratch.. Please help my Heart to rest in Peace because YOU know that I never stopped Loved YOU and I still love YOU now.. maybe even More because after I saw the Flower WORKSHOP Flourish and how the BUSINESS of selling Flowers Boomed into success.. I know that I have loved the right Person because loving YOU means everything to Me and forever to Me.. I am looking through the Window.. In the Work Shop.. I see YOU.. I remember I grabbed your wrist.. and I told YOU.. I love YOU.. for a Long time.. I just could Not take my Mind Off of YOU.. asking YOU.. can I be the One who can Love you for the rest of My Life.. will you let me.. I know that I made the situation worst when I grabbed your wrist.. I just wanted to express my Heart but did not mean to come out that strong to You.. I saw you turning your Head away from Me.. and Looking towards another direction.. I knew that I had to let Go.. YOU told me that YOU did not want to work here any more.. of course I knew the answer clearly.. as I open my hand and let go of your wrist.. you wanted to tell me something.. and told me that YOU were seeing someone else.. but I knew that person well.. and my Heart.. I just knew that My confession of telling you came too late.. But I was holding in for so long.. why did YOU not wait.. why did you tell me that YOU wanted to be loved by someone else.. But.. I know that I bee here all along.. YOU knew that I felt something towards YOU.. even though I did Not have to say the words.. by the smile and my actions should of told YOU already.. but Now.. is it really late for me to tell YOU that I love YOU.. can you please receive My Love.. can you please open your heart just a little for Me.. I need to know.. I need a chance you know.. if I am the One for YOU.. did YOU not ever think about that.. I can really be the One who can love you for so long.. but if you do not give me that Chance.. you will never know How far I can truly love YOU and tell YOU how much I love YOU.. are you really going to let this Chance go.. and I would turn.. trying to look at YOU.. but.. I see that YOU are moving and pushing me away.. but.. I know I can too love YOU.. WHY can't you just reconsider.. and please give a time for yourself.. Let me know that I can too love YOU.. is it that Hard for you to know.. I know that I can Love YOU too.. maybe I can be a Better Lover.. I can love you more because YOU brought this Inspiring of Love to Me.. will you please consider and think about what I have said to YOU.. I see you turning away and telling me you have already made it known and made it clear to me that YOU love another man.. and I would watch you walking away.. and I would turn away toward your Direction.. wait.. do you have to end it like this.. can you not give me a Chance too.. if you do not open your heart.. if you keep it close.. you will know that I have loved you More.. so Please.. open your heart.. I know I can Love you better.. I can Love you More.. only please.. stop and wait.. I watch the Door open.. and I see you walk out the Door and the door closes.. I am thinking about the day you left me.. I was building this work Shop just for YOU.. YOU told me that YOU loved Flowers.. I asked you what is your Interest.. what makes you smile.. what do you like to see.. what makes you cry.. what makes you happy and as a friend you told me many things.. I collected and gathered.. YOU told me that YOU wanted to see a lot of Flowers.. Out of the woods.. some of the trees had to be cut Down.. and the builders came and helped me to build this Work Shop out of the woods.. and I would ask what kinds of seed would bring Flowers to Life in the Garden.. and I asked few of the Plant specialists and they helped me to get these seeds and started to help me to plant.. Once these things were established I remember I asked you if you wanted to work.. and YOU told me where.. and I gave you the address.. it is a Flower Shop.. and I work there too.. and I do remember you did take the offer and started to work.. I would show you different flowers.. I would think about the flowers you loved.. when we were young.. when YOU came to the Orphan House.. I do remember you coming with your parents.. and they would always bring you Flowers.. and share to the children who had NO Parents.. I member I would see the kinds of flowers in your Hands.. each time you would bring a New Flower in your hand.. I would look at the flower.. going into my room.. I have me a Note Book.. and start to write down flowers you would bring.. it be so different.. and I have kept the Note Book for a Long time.. from Page to page.. I would smile.. as I would feel my tears roll down.. my hand touch the words of the Names of each Flower.. and I would ask the Specialist can any of these Flowers.. do you have the seeds of these flowers so that I can plant in the garden too.. I do remember some of the farmers who lived around the Area comes to help.. I would be asking if they can help me to Plant these seeds and help me to grow.. and the older People started to help as I would watch the Plants.. I saw Flowers blossom time after time.. and when the Flowers would grow.. I would think of YOU.. each has a special place in my Heart.. I would touch my Chest looking at each Unique Flowers and I wanted to show YOU.. I wanted to tell YOU something.. But I was afraid to ever tell YOU.. Just like what has happened.. YOU told me that YOU love someone else.. YOU telling me that I am Not the One.. that I am Not allowed to Love YOU.. how can YOU tell me this when I been thinking of you all this TIME.. you brought so much tears in my eyes.. My Heart was breaking.. I could not see you from the distance.. I could not believe you would say.. and just walked away.. Now I am here.. back at the Work Shop.. I have left the work Shop because of these memories causing me to Die inside.. but.. what am I suppose to do what YOU are the Love of my Life who brings me back here.. and I would stand here.. the room is dark.. I know that It is time to start over.. I am going to build this Shop again.. this Flower shop because I know that I love YOU.. does Not matter if you ever return back to me or Not.. But.. I know that I love this Place.. why because I always loved YOU.. your scent still is here.. I can still smell your scent.. and I just wanted to hold YOU near when I smell you.. so sweet and so beautiful.. as I am looking at the Window.. and I look through.. I see the tree I was standing.. and I am not sure.. but I see someone.. I am hoping it is YOU.. I want it to be YOU.. but Not YOU who breaks my Heart.. YOU who is coming back to Me.. YOU who knows how much I love YOU.. YOU who knows that I have build this work Shop.. this Flower Shop because I was inspired by Loving YOU.. to show you how much I love YOU.. and as I am getting closer toward the window and I look through.. I see YOU.. but.. is it YOU who loves
Man.. because YOU should always know that I love you first.. I watch YOU turning around and I see you looking.. I am standing by the window.. YOU are standing by the tree and My tears.. it starts to flow down.. two lines.. I know I missed YOU.. YOU know how much I miss YOU.. and YOU should now that this whole place.. It is because of YOU.. How much I love YOU.. LOOK at the flower Shop.. Look at the farmers who and helping the flowers to grow.. look at the each Flowers which has been planted.. if YOU can go back.. Do you not remember when we were young.. YOU came to a house like this.. I was at the Orphan House.. YOU came with your parents.. but you brought flowers.. different times YOU came to visit.. I would stand there.. I see you smile so Big and YOU would tell me.. too look at the Flower.. and YOU would run straight direction toward me and with a BIG SMILE.. showing me the name of the Flower.. where YOU got it.. and you be moving the Flower around.. telling me that Some day YOU are going to have your Own garden.. and In that garden grow Your flowers.. and begin to show me the different kinds of flowers you wanted to plant to grow.. of course.. I would run to the room.. and would write that on the Note Book.. and I would tell myself.. One Day I want to give you a Garden with full of flowers YOU showed me.. and give you the gift of this Garden and that is WHY I am here.. so that I can give YOU the Garden with my Heart inside.. too tell YOU I love YOU.. and I have missed you so Much.. that I have remembered that Promise.. I wanted to run away.. go as far as I could.. I try to run.. go to a different country.. different place.. but.. I could not GO.. and I ended up coming back here because I have made a Promise to myself to YOU.. I wanted to keep my Promise of giving you this Garden First.. as I would be looking through the window and YOU are standing by the tree.. I am wondering.. why are you just standing there.. YOU told me that YOU love some other.. I came here to keep my Promise I have made to YOU.. but YOU told me that YOU have some where to go.. to be loved by another.. are you still thinking about the chance.. are you going to open your heart for Me.. are you going to see if I can be a Better Lover.. who can Love you more.. are you giving me a Chance.. and I would close my eyes.. and when I open.. I look through the window across.. I don't see you any more.. I would look one more time.. and I see that YOU are gone.. as I look at your Picture.. I would smile.. I know that YOU are happy.. of course who don't want to love YOU.. I know that you have many young men who wants to love YOU.. but.. I know that I can love YOU more.. I can love you better.. because I know my Heart.. I understand my Heart knowing what Love truly is.. and to Let YOU know how much I love YOU.. I just wanted to share and tell YOU.. I never stopped loving YOU.. Only YOU who I love.. YOU are the Only One who I think of the Most.. always on my mind.. and always loving YOU first.. I just wanted to say I love you.. and always I will love YOU..I am waiting at the Doctor's office.. I am getting sick.. something has happened to my Heart.. I am wondering if My Heart is broken.. as I am sitting down.. waiting for the Doctor.. I am holding your Picture in my Hand.. I have been looking at this Picture for a Long time.. since I have lost you.. and it is the Picture of YOU.. you are standing by the Wall.. with a beautiful Smile.. I gave YOU a flowers and YOU are holding in your hand.. showing me in the picture of you.. I was so happy when I gave you those flowers in the work shop.. I surprised you that night.. it was before I wanted to ask YOU out.. I wanted to ask if we can be lovers.. and before the questions came about.. and I gave YOU the flowers.. I would watch you holding in your hand.. and I saw you smelling the flowers.. it touched my Heart.. Your nose so close and I saw both of your eyes closing when YOU brought the Flowers closer to your nose.. and right after.. you opened your eyes.. I be holding the camera.. zooming in to get a closer Picture.. I asked if YOU could just smile for me.. YOU are the Most Beautiful when I see you smile.. so I asked.. looking through the lens of the Camera.. I saw you holding the flowers closer and my finger presses and it clicked to take that Picture.. I would put the camera down and I came closer to YOU and I wanted to say but.. YOU told me Not to say it.. Because YOU knew what I was going to say and told me that YOU already have some one who you love.. and that I knew the person well.. I would just stand there.. No words to tell YOU because.. I have been holding this for a long time.. I wanted to tell YOU for a long time.. but I guess holding too long.. and I just could not hold it back.. I want to know.. DO you love Him.. do you think that man can love you more than Me.. if He can love you more than me.. I can back off and just pretend I never told you this.. I want to know what if I can love you More.. I know that I can love you where YOUR Heart can be truly touched.. I know that I can love you because I am already loving YOU.. but pushing me away is not going to solve anything.. but if you know that He can love you more and can make you more happier.. than I have nothing more to say.. But How about my Heart.. how about the Love I have for YOU.. will you please consider this before you can.. and it is the Picture before I wanted to ask.. but I do remember you be telling me that YOU love some one else.. I wanted to walk out of that work shop.. I wanted to leave at that moment because My Heart couldn't handle this kind of pain.. and to heal it takes a long time for me to get over it.. but.. I felt like I should stay.. that may be you would change your mind.. so I just stood and waited.. but I saw YOU looking at me.. giving me back the flowers and I saw YOU walking out of that work shop.. I heard the door behind me shutting down.. holding the flowers in my hands.. why am I holding these flowers for.. I am the one who gave you these flowers.. these are not for me and when I turned my head to look back.. I stood there.. the door was closed and YOU left.. I wanted to cry.. but I wanted to hold my own emotions in and I kept it inside for a while before I wanted to lead it out.. I stood there in the silence.. holding the flowers in my hands.. just did not know what to do any more.. as I am sitting on the chair.. just waiting for the doctor to call my name.. I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. holding the flowers and just smiling.. Now I am thinking.. and wondering.. what if I did Not say anything.. did Not mention and just stood there and smiled back.. I know that YOU would not left the work shop that night.. you could of still be there with me.. but would I ever be happy just watching you on the side line.. just loving YOU alone.. while YOU have someone who loves YOU and you be loving him back.. What am I suppose to do if I am just another shadow of passing through.. It would be breaking my heart into pieces.. I remember I open my hands and the Flowers all fell to the floor.. hitting the ground.. I dropped to my knees.. beating against my chest and started to cry loud.. wailing louder because of the pains of hitting me so Hard that night.. I did not even leave that work shop.. I would be crying for hours.. just feeling the pain deep within me.. sitting by the wall.. I would be leaning.. and I would sit until the Sun would rise Up.. I just could not work any more.. and wanted to take some time off.. but I could not get up.. sitting there.. looking at the flowers all over the floor of the ground.. I can't believe that this Hurts.. it hurts me much more.. why did I even mentioned if it going to end UP like this.. hurting me like this.. this ache.. this pain of just loving you.. why can't you love me back.. I would yell.. out loud.. why can't you love me back.. what must I do for YOU to notice HOW much I love YOU.. and I would sit still.. could not get up.. just did not want to move.. I did not want to eat anything.. even though I was hungry.. but I sat there.. leaning against the wall.. just thinking of YOU.. am I going crazy.. am I losing my mind.. what is wrong.. matter with me is what I would be thinking.. and I would suddenly lay on the floor.. maybe sleeping will help me.. get me better.. and I lay on the floor.. both eyes closes.. and it hurts so bad that I just could not sleep.. as I am still waiting for the doctor.. the door opens and I am looking at your Picture.. I hear foot steps and someone sits next to me.. and I put the picture down.. I am wondering.. who is sitting next to me and as I turn to look.. I see you next to me.. I am thinking.. all this time.. did you know that I am here so you came.. or you just came because YOU are sick too.. and I looked at YOU.. why are you here.. Why are you sitting next to me.. YOU told me that YOU have someone who loves YOU.. you told me you love him.. but why are you here.. I am here because I love you too much.. I think I can't bear this pain.. take this pain any more.. I am going to get me a New Heart.. I don't like the Heart I have with me.. this Heart is always hurting me so I want a new Heart.. a Heart who does Not know you any more.. as I looked at YOU.. are you hurt just like me.. or is it for something else.. as I raised my arm.. my hand is holding your Picture.. and I would show YOU this picture and I turned to look at YOU and I would say.. do YOU remember this time.. Do you remember the day I gave you those flowers.. I am so sorry that I told you that I loved YOU.. I did not meant to say it in a way that YOU wanted to walk off.. but Do you want to see this Picture.. I think you never got the chance to look at it because the Picture came after YOU left.. Do you know how many times I cried looking at this Picture.. I would tell myself.. I regret letting YOU know.. I would tell myself many times.. I regretted because.. If I never mentioned it to YOU
You.. and I see you smile.. as I am waiting for the doctor.. I would look at the picture again.. looking at YOU.. when I would turn my head to look.. I don't see you any more.. I am wondering.. was this just a dream.. why did I saw you here.. maybe I do miss you just too much.. I am aching in my Heart.. I feel like I am dying inside.. the door opens.. and I see the doctor.. I hear the Doctor calling my Name.. I get UP out of the chair and I would walk into the patient room.. and I would sit on patient chair.. I would show the picture to the Doctor.. and the Doctor looks at the picture.. and I am telling the doctor.. I need a new Heart.. if you can give me a New Heart.. I think I can live again.. I am suffering just too much with the Heart who is inside of me.. if YOU can please take my Heart.. put that heart away.. and replace with a New Heart.. I think I can live again.. I just can't live with this Heart.. it is killing me and driving me insane.. Please.. can you do a surgery so that I can breathe again.. to live again.. something is wrong with the Heart I am having.. giving me just too much pain.. and my eyes gets watery and I turn to look.. looking at the doctor in the eyes.. when I looked at the eyes.. it looks like your eyes.. and I would look.. and you are holding the picture in your hand.. and I can't believe I am asking YOU to get rid of my heart.. I am wondering.. and of course.. I remember you told me when we were young.. that YOU had dreams.. you wanted to be a Heart doctor and help healing wounds.. you told me once.. your dreams was to be a doctor who would save lives.. and I am sitting down.. as Your hand is holding that picture.. this is the picture YOU never saw.. but it was when YOU were working with me at the Work Shop.. and do you not remember.. the flowers I gave YOU.. and Yes.. you gave me the flowers back and I dropped the flowers on the floor.. as I looked at YOU.. I would smile at you.. I am glad that YOU have fulfilled your dreams of becoming a Doctor.. at least I came to the right person because if I were to die tonight.. at least YOU are the last person I got to see before I die.. but I did come here so that I can remove my Heart.. I have made an appointment and have given a date for the Heart surgery.. will you be the doctor who can do the Heart surgery for Me.. YOU can at least see my Heart.. can touch my Heart and pull away this Heart from me.. I am much more happier if it is YOU.. because I know that I can give YOU MY Heart.. I know you are telling me that I can die if I get this surgery.. but I need this surgery.. I do not want this Heart any more.. it is killing me Now so Please.. get rid of this Heart which is killing me.. I rather die with YOU holding my Heart then to live without you when I keep on loving YOU.. why can't you be the doctor for me.. YOU know that I have been loving you just too long.. see the Heart who loves YOU.. and then I can finally let go.. because I can't live when YOU are gone and out of my life.. so please let me speak to the one who is in charge of this surgery.. because I can't live without you.. LOOK how you have made me cry.. as the two lines of tears would drop.. I just can't live without you.. or please let me have a chance to love YOU.. you can make a choice.. be the One to do the surgery to my Heart.. or let me please just keep on loving YOU.. because I just want to love you more and more.. tell me why can't I love you more.. as I am looking at you as the doctor.. I see you turning away.. with the picture in your hand.. I see you leave the patient room.. why can't you get rid of my Heart.. get rid of this Heart so that I don't love you any more.. make a choice for me.. Please.. tell me which way for me to go.. I been waiting for YOU.. but YOU never came.. the door was never locked because it is YOU who I been waiting for.. I would be working in the Flower Shop.. waiting if YOU would ever show UP.. but you would never come.. It broke my Heart because what If YOU would stop by.. even just for Once.. I was Not asking for a long time.. even just for few seconds.. it would been enough for Me.. but YOU never came.. working in the Flower Shop without YOU was the most difficult thing for Me because I would be waiting.. even though I knew deep in my Heart that YOU would never show UP.. just hoping that it would be you who would knock on the door.. asking for me to open that door in the Work Shop.. in that flower Work Shop.. I would cry many nights of thinking of YOU.. just remembering all of the memories we shared together in that Shop.. I would watch YOU with the camera.. lights flashes as YOU would take pictures of the Flowers.. asking me about how it grew.. the place where I would planted in the soil.. I would even take you to the spots.. back in the garden.. where YOU would see the flowers in full bloom.. matured and sprung UP for YOU to take a look.. YOU would smile.. I would watch YOU holding that camera in front.. as I would watch YOU looking through the camera Lens and taking pictures of the flowers back in the Garden.. I wanted to Hold YOU.. I wanted to Pull you closer to me.. around my arms I wanted to feel YOU inside.. but I would stop myself of getting closer to YOU.. I wanted to get close.. I wanted to walk and stand beside YOU.. just to feel for seconds.. How you would feel in my arms.. How would you breathe.. How about the sound of the beating of Your Heart.. can I hear it.. will my Heart also make the same sound of Your Heart.. I wanted to get close.. just to see how it would feel.. YOU in my arms.. I wanted you near.. I wanted you close.. I was so close because I would walk but I would stop to step back.. It hurts me because I wanted to feel YOU in my arms.. But I just could not get closer.. Because I knew that YOU would push me to say Back Off.. Just Now How it feels.. Just thinking about YOU.. brings so Much Joy and happiness.. I would smile a lot.. My Heart be moving in a way I just can't control.. my emotions just wants to pour Out to YOU.. I want to stop.. I can't control myself because It has been Hard lately.. Missing YOU is so Hard.. at the same Time.. it brings me a lot of tears.. that I can't stop myself crying.. I don't want to show YOU any more tears.. but It hurts to know that YOU don't want to come close.. so Far.. so Near.. so Close.. the distance between Us.. leaving me to Be hurt.. missing YOU all the time.. but I want to get close.. NO Matter How I feel.. as long as it is YOU.. I will always Love YOU.. don't ask me why do I keep on hurting myself but still loves YOU.. as I am sitting on the Chair.. I am looking at Your Picture.. it is YOU when YOU were with me at the Flower Shop.. holding a flower in Your Hand.. with such a Beautiful Smile.. I remember that it was the day I wanted to show YOU the New Flowers that has been reached the Full Bloom stage.. it was back in the Garden.. the Same camera you were using to take many pictures of the flowers.. I would ask YOU.. take one of the Flowers from the Bed in the back of this Garden.. I watched you lower yourself.. grabbed and pulled the Flower Out.. and telling me that it is this One.. that it is the Most Beautiful One.. Your Favorite and I do remember leading YOU back into the Flower Work Shop.. YOU were standing by the wall.. and Holding the flower in your Hand.. I would have the Camera in my hands.. My eye would look through the lens of the Camera.. I would see YOU.. my finger stopped at the Button.. because what if this be the last picture I could take from this Camera.. this Fear came all over me.. shaking and trembling from the Inside.. I stopped my finger to press.. YOU were wondering why I could not click the Button.. My Heart would skip.. trying to find if there is a Beat.. I would take a deep breathe and my finger presses the Button and the light switches and it takes the Picture of YOU.. when I put the Camera Down.. I am looking at the Wall.. in the Flower Work Shop.. I only see the wall.. I don't see YOU there.. and with me is the Same Picture.. it was the last time I took the picture of YOU because the Next day.. YOU told me that YOU are not going to work with me at the Flower Shop.. that YOU have find someone that YOU love.. and that YOU are going with Him.. and I felt my world turn upside down.. I felt that everything be crumbling.. I saw YOU leave as the Door closes behind me.. I would sit on the Floor.. I would cry Loud and wail More.. I just couldn't control these emotions when it is torn apart.. I would Beat with my hand on my Chest.. I would Hit it so Hard.. I just couldn't stop hitting my Chest.. wanting to Pull my Heart out.. It hurts me because all I see is YOU.. YOU leaving me behind and I am left alone at the Flower Work Shop.. everything began to fall apart.. I started to drink a lot.. heavy into drinking.. crash and burn.. falling apart and falling down.. I just don't wanted to get UP any more.. I just couldn't handle this Kind of Pain.. it was killing me from the Inside.. How can I erase this Pain that is eating me from the Inside.. How can I get rid of this Kind of Hellish Pain.. I just wanted to Die.. for years I felt this way.. I felt like I wanted to give UP.. but.. for some reason.. if I truly love YOU.. I know that I needs to get back UP and try to live.. try to live the best I can.. so that One day I am able to see YOU again and the Day I see YOU.. I will never let YOU GO.. I decided to go and get my Heart check.. if something is wrong with me.. is it My Heart who has the Problem.. or is it just Me.. I came to the Clinic.. just to check my Heart.. I feel so ill.. I feel so Sick.. because I been thinking about YOU too much lately.. I wanted to forget.. I wanted to erase YOU off my Mind so I called to make an Appointment.. so that I can get a Heart surgery.. and I been sitting down on this chair.. waiting for the Doctor to call my Name.. for the Doctor to see me.. I wanted the Doctor to Know that I want to get rid of this Heart.
Into a room.. NOW.. I go into the Room.. waiting for the doctor.. and as I sit patiently waiting for the Doctor.. I am looking at your Picture.. Looking at YOU holding the flower in your hand.. standing by the wall.. Before I came to this Clinic Office.. I went over this Moring to the Flower Work Shop.. as I walked inside the Work Shop.. I would stand there alone.. LOOKING at the Wall where YOU would stand.. I would look at the empty Wall.. looking at the picture of YOU holding.. the same spot.. you were standing with a smile holding the flower.. the Last time I saw YOU is when I took this Picture.. it hurts Me more.. I would.. the Flower Work Shop was dark and I would be standing alone.. crying looking at the Picture of YOU.. which it was the last time YOU stood by this Wall.. and I just can't let YOU go.. WHY is it me who has to let it Go.. why is it YOU who has to hurt Me.. why can't I ever hurt you and I would look at the Wall.. where YOU would stand the last time and I would scream because my Heart.. It wanted to shatter into pieces.. WHY did YOU have to leave me for someone else.. WHY can't YOU ever know how much I love YOU.. why don't you see me.. WHY can't you see me as the Person who loves you the Most.. and I would again cry.. looking at the wall.. after looking at the Picture of YOU where YOU once stood by this wall.. I would fall to the ground.. and I just can't.. why can't I just let YOU GO.. it is killing me so Bad.. why can't I let YOU GO.. what is it about YOU holding unto me.. like a stronghold.. and I would cry loud.. wailing.. hitting my hand against my chest.. It hurts me just too much because I want to be loved by YOU.. why can't YOU see me for once.. HOW ABOUT ME.. you know that I can love YOU better.. YOU know that I can love YOU more.. I can even love you stronger.. just please give me a chance.. just one chance.. as I am waiting in the Room in the clinic Office.. I know that I may not live for Long.. because My Heart is broken.. It has been shattered into many little pieces.. YOU have broken my Heart.. If I can't fix my Heart.. what am I going to do with this Shattered of pieces broken Heart that is in me.. If I can't fix it.. Maybe the Doctor can help me to fix IT.. what if the Doctor can't fix my Heart.. I am going to ask the Doctor to go me a Surgery.. because what am I going to do with this Broken Shattered Heart.. I can at least donate it to someone else.. give me a New Heart.. someone else can take my Place.. can Have this Heart.. that someone else can Love YOU instead because I know that I can't.. I don't even know where YOU at so how can I love YOU when YOU are NO where to be found.. and I am lost somewhere.. and I would be sitting on this Chair.. LOOKING at the Picture of YOU.. I sit in silence just thinking of the Flower Work Shop.. I want to go back with YOU.. can YOU please go back with me to this Flower work Shop.. I want to live again.. I want to feel that I am alive again.. I want to breathe again because without YOU.. just look at me at this Point in my Life without YOU.. and as I am looking at the picture.. waiting for the doctor to come into this room.. I am looking at your Picture and speaking to the Picture.. the door Opens but it stops.. I am thinking.. maybe it is another patient who just came into the wrong room and I would open my Mouth.. as I am looking at the picture of YOU.. can we please go back to the Flower Work Shop.. do YOU know that I am still there.. I just could Not move on because I would think about.. what If.. Just in case YOU show UP one day.. what If you come.. what if YOU change your Mind.. what if I come across Your Mind one night.. One Day.. what If you miss Me.. how about if YOU love me.. Not sure why I would think of it that Way but what if you show UP.. I had many chances to leave that Flower work shop.. My friends came.. trying to convince me.. telling me to leave it behind me.. let it be my History.. and I would try to leave that Flower Work Shop.. but always in the back of my Head.. I would be thinking of YOU.. if I do leave.. what if YOU show UP when I do really leave.. then I know that I can't never see YOU again.. I don't want that to ever happen because I miss YOU and I love YOU.. that is why I just can't let it go now.. because I love YOU just too much.. I have been there.. just waiting for the Door to be opened.. for YOU to knock on the door and when I open the door to that Flower Work shop and WHEN I open to see who it is.. I wanted to smile to see YOU there.. standing there.. just giving me even few seconds of your presences.. just to say I love YOU.. just to say I missed YOU.. or to say welcome back.. because I just can't let YOU GO.. Because I never stopped loving YOU.. even now I love you still.. I been waiting so that I can tell YOU how much I love YOU.. as I look up.. I hear the door closed.. and I am thinking.. this whole time the door was opened.. I wonder who it is who hear me speaking to Your Picture.. I wonder who it is.. and the door Opens.. my hand opens and the picture falls to the ground because it is YOU who is standing by the door.. That YOU are the Doctor.. My Doctor there.. I am looking at you.. I just could not believe that YOU are now a doctor.. a Heart surgeon.. of course I came here to get my Heart to be removed.. I wanted another Heart Surgeon because.. Can you handle doing the surgery.. planting into a different Heart.. a Heart from someone else.. What would you do if I don't recognize YOU any more.. what will you do if I start to love another whose Heart has been loving.. But.. I don't want to lose YOU.. How can I live without YOU.. How can I breathe if I can't love YOU any more.. but all this Time.. I have been only loving YOU.. YOU are the Only One who I been missing.. I been crying over looking at the empty wall.. walking into the Work Shop.. I been missing YOU.. missing your Presence.. just missing your smile.. can YOU handle me.. putting me into the deep sleep.. as YOU cut my chest wide open.. I know that YOU are more experience in this kind of work.. If you are the Doctor.. because I asked for a well experienced.. well established with multiple years of experience.. I don't want my Heart to be broken.. I don't want my Heart to be dropped on the floor.. It has been with me all of my life.. ever since I was born.. ever since I was a young Boy.. when I first saw YOU.. I cried.. I started to cry after YOU left.. YOU promised me that YOU will be back.. and I felt my Heart.. I did not know what it was at the first touch.. I just could not stop.. but I would kept on crying through the Night.. that is when I could Not sleep.. I kept on thinking of YOU.. over and over.. turning and tossing.. all of the children at the Orphan House.. they were all sleeping good.. I sat on top of the bed.. wondering.. why couldn't I sleep like the Other children.. I do remember you gave me your picture.. I saw both of your parents with YOU.. and I do remember.. being so Poor.. without any parents.. living with bunch of poor children.. who had No homes.. only could gather with each other.. I looked at YOU.. I would smile.. I could never smile living with bunch of these children.. they were all dirty like Me.. pushing and shoving.. kicking and screaming.. and there was No peace.. When I heard the Old Woman.. the Care taker says to the Children.. a Missionary family is coming.. to help Us.. to help educate and give Us books to read.. and toys to play with.. of course.. it was YOU and your Parents who came.. I knew that I should of stopped myself right when I met YOU.. I don't know why I asked for your picture that day.. before YOU were leaving.. and as I was crying.. I wanted to be a Part.. so I asked for YOUR picture.. when YOU told me that YOU are going to give me One.. and That smile.. you pulled out and told me that this is the Only One.. the best Picture you have taken.. I saw your Smile.. and YOU told me.. behind the Picture is your Address.. and If I wanted a friend to share my Heart.. to write YOU a Letter.. I do remember watching YOU leave.. Your Father and Mother holding your Hands as YOU leave.. I would be waving with tears in my eyes.. I felt so Alone.. I felt so cold.. I felt so Poor.. and I would fall both on my knees.. and Weeping as I take a Look at your Picture.. why do you have to leave so Soon.. Are you going to come to visit me and the children.. and both hands holding the side of the Picture.. YOU are so Beautiful.. and I be looking with tears.. wiping my tears with my hand.. I feel so Alone.. I feel so sad because My Heart.. is it going to break like this.. My Heart keeps on breaking because YOU know how much I love you right.. and I do remember that Night.. I just could not sleep.. and sitting on the top of the Bed.. I pulled out Your Picture.. and I would look.. and I do remember what YOU said.. to write YOU when I needed a friend.. and I would get Out of the Bed and I walked to the desk.. and I sat down to write.. as I am laying.. I am looking at YOU.. as a Doctor.. as the Heart Surgeon.. I should of Not come to this Hospital.. What are you going to do with My Heart.. I don't want you to take my Heart away.. if I can't love you any more.. I rather ask for another Doctor.. I guess the main reason is to forget YOU.. and Let my Heart be taken away and Let someone else have My Heart.. But when I saw YOU.. if YOU were another Doctor.. another Heart Surgeon.. then I think it would been so much easier to go with the proceed to do the surgery but.. I feel like My Heart Now just can't go.. it has been such a Long time since I saw YOU.. and for the longest Time.. I have been missing YOU.. but Now.. I just can't give My Heart away with YOU becoming the Doctor.. the Heart Surgeon.. I been to the Work Shop lately.. and started a Project.. to rebuild that Work Shop.. it has been broken and abandoned for a Long time.. I just could Not work there any more
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