You ended her suffering and everyone else’s suffering who is feeling/empathizing with her suffering. End of life is not end of living…it’s just end of living along with this body. We were born before our birth and we live after our physical death. How else do people stay with us, as in this case until we express the lesson that their spirit was meant to teach us.
Julie, thank you for sharing the hard things. You have given such a good perspective on death. We had to euthanize my beloved cat a few weeks ago, and I was so glad I had been watching your videos. I recognized his actively dying phase. It was still so hard, but it helped to know it was normal, natural, and best of all, that I could help him at the end. It was a peaceful death for him and a sweet, sad letting go for my husband and me. Thank you. I so appreciate what you are doing for your listeners.
@@candyland2666 that’s pretty common with euthanasia there’s also a chance that the pet may throw up all you can really do is hold them and try to comfort them . I lost my last rescue rabbit on my birthday 2 years ago he was 12 years old and I got him out of a fur farm so they lived much longer than they would have in that tiny little cage hanging from the ceiling but because of covid restrictions I was not allowed back to be with him in his last moments and my heart just hurt so much that he was scared and I couldn’t be there with him to stroke his little face and tell him everything was okay annnnnnnd now I’m crying .
You are like a modern day Elizabeth Kubler Ross. I know for certain that you are helping so many people to deal with their own personal experiences with loved ones, friends or with themselves. I want you to know how much you are giving to everyone who listens. ❤❤❤
What a blessing for the family you advocated for. When my father was hospitalized, none of the Drs or nurses would say that to my Mom that Dad was dying. Even now, 16 years after Dad passed, Mom will say 'Why didn't I say stop to all the tests and procedures earlier. '.
Because it's only much later when we realize that we couldn't recognize or stop that we were in denial while it was happening. Makes me wonder how often denial has saved a loved one's life.
Same situation as that patient with my dad. Nobody told us if we were helping him live or helping him die. The treatments in ICU and in the step down units led us to believe we were helping him live. If I had known all that you have been teaching us back in 2017, he wld have been spared so much suffering. My four siblings and I have second hand trauma/ptsd from the ordeal and if we had been informed things wld have been so different. One eye is leaking sad tears and the other is leaking super pissed off tears. Thank you for your channel. You have a unique and much needed calling in life.
We really thought all the crap they were doing to him was to help him end up living. Healing and living. They had to have known he was dying. I’m so angry about what he went through when the outcome was going to be death anyways. Edited to clarify that last sentence.
Like me, you ARE this job, and I so totally GET what you're saying! I left Nephrology 10 yrs ago after becoming disabled, but I too had become the job! To this day, whenever I can achieve REM sleep, I'm right back in my scrubs running from "crisis to crisis". I just wanted you to know, someone understands, including about this "victory".🕊 - Diana
I've been watching your videos for a little while now. A very dear friend wasn't eating or drinking & because of you I knew what that meant. Then all of a sudden he woke up, was talking, eat & drinking. I knew that was the rally. I didn't have the heart to tell the family. He wasn't on hospice. He was in a rehab for a broken hip. I just want to thank you for educating people. It helps! Keep up the good work! 🫂
Julie, you are a beautiful person. Im 73 and death enters my mind as I grow older. I took care of my Mom and she wouldnt let go until .i got in her hospital bed I had Hospice set up in my livingroom. Once my Mom felt me snuggling her, she could even smell me as well as me telling her that I was going to be ok and she could let go, I could feel her body totally give in and she passed. I pray I can go like that or be blessed having a nurse like you. You are an earth angel to many. Thank God.
I wished the nurse or someone at the hospital in Mexico would have told us the truth when my grandmother was admitted. We would have accepted it and taken her home to die surrounded by her loved ones. When dad wasn't doing better after surgery in December 2022, we all decided to take him home in hospice. He passed away within 2 days surrounded by all his family. Please continue to tell the family the truth. Hard to accept it but we appreciate it. 🙏
I have never understood why oncologists and trauma doctors do everything to keep patients alive even though death is the kindest outcome for the patient. We are kinder to our animals when it comes to suffering. God bless you for being a voice for those who can’t speak for themselves.
Thank you very much for your courage and telling this story. I spent over 4 months in the hospital with my wife and the Doctors never had your courage making us believe we had a chance when her DX only had one outcome. We would have been willing to say goodbye much sooner if they were honest but since she was 26 years old I believe they were having trouble coming to the point. After it was obvious she was passing they told me she was going to die, but her and I already said goodbye at that point. I spent just over 2 million trying to keep her alive with procedures that were not covered by insurance so I left the hospital without her and in a lot of trouble. I am now 56 and am still paying the bills and wish they would have been honest up front. We both would have accepted the facts and it would have been much easier on me to raise our 2 year old daughter. Thanks for your courage.
Am sincerely sorry you lost your wife and and daughter's mother at such a young age. It's never right to withhold a terminal diagnosis. It makes me sad you are still making payments on hospital bills. You would think the hospital would have taken off at least part of the bill for treatment she didn't need. Blessings to you & your daughter ❤
***You never know when you've spoke your last words to a love one. Make sure they are loving words. Living with the guilt of knowing what your last words should have been will destroy a part of you!***
I had to make a similar decision about my mother. Even though I knew she didn't want her life extended under her health condition, it wasn't easy, but it didn't prolong her suffering by selfishly keeping a greatly diminished shell of her in our world.
Giving terminal patients a "good death" is the right thing to do. Families need compassionate honesty in such situations. They need to know that this journey is ending for an individual. But then, I see death as birthing a soul. Thank you for sharing your story.
In the US, medical debt is a frequent cause of financial ruin. The ICU and life support are expensive and, when there's no hope of recovery, families need to know. Thank you for having the courage to speak up!
Too often the attitude is to squeeze every last drop of life from a suffering and dying person regardless of the lack of any quality of life or recovery in a way that no compassionate person would put a beloved pet through. That is to our shame.
We had a family member who collapsed at home and when she was evaluated at the hospital it was determined that half of her brain was engulfed by a brain bleed. There would be no more singing, no more art, no more trips to the library. She had basic functions like breathing and that was it. We all agreed that that was not HER any more. We asked that she be kept warm and safe until the family member with the power of attorney over her health could arrive the next day. The decision was made, and everyone who could came to say goodbye to her. We stayed with her until she passed peacefully. The nurses kept saying thank you for not prolonging this and doing the hard thing and saying goodbye. It's hard to do the right thing, but we did, and we can sleep well at night knowing that. The nurses were wonderful and we were grateful they understood. When it's my time to go, I hope the ones around me realize that and let me go. Death is the necessary condition of life, and it should be made as peaceful as possible. Blessings to the hospice nurses who help us let go.
I pray that when my time comes there is someone to speak up for me. Let me go when it’s time, let me go with dignity, let me go with love. ❤. God bless you Julie for being courageous and stepping up for your patients. Doing the right thing is hard . Hugs!
I hope my husband and I get a good truthful nurse like you when it's our time or getting close to our time. My husband has stage 4 cancer and I worry about the treatments doing more harm than good. I hope our Dr is straightforward enough to let us know it's time to stop.
Thank you for your compassion. This is why I have an 'advanced directive'. This is my decision and my desire for my life. Thank you for caring for your patients.
I’m a retired ICU nurse and I remember a patient who was dying from stomach cancer and on multiple machines and drips etc. and not one doctor would tell the family they were dying even though they shared it with us and we knew anyway, we nurses would discuss it and feel almost desperate for this patient as the family kept wanting interventions even surgeries. Finally one night there were like 8 members of his family there and I got up my nerve to enter the waiting room and gently talked to them about the fact that he was dying no matter what we do the end result would be the same. They ended up thanking me for being honest and letting them know. Many times I saw this where the doctors are not taught how to talk to family about death
Yesterday I found out my mother has dementia and so does my father (which I already knew about). The doctor advised me to get ADVANCED DIRECTIVES signed right away so that neither of them suffer in the end. Now I just need to get them signed by them...oh boy...😞
You did the right thing . Don't beat yourself up over it . I've seen alot of death myself . And my only military son die . Things go down a certain way for a reason . All you need to know . Move on , there still more battles to deal with .
Thank you for all you do, Julie. Your efforts with your patients and your education for the public is so needed. My MIL will probably need hospice within the next few years and this channel has given us vital information and will make it possible for us to make more informed decisions. You are so appreciated💝
I was ICU then CCU nurse for years and ran into this exact dilemma. The doctors mean well, but you, the nurse, touch that patient, implement the orders that are futile. Your patient must have been so relieved and grateful to just stop fighting the inevitable and go home in peace. It is so hard for families to feel the pressure to agree to yet another extraordinary measure. All cases are different and doctors and families need to have open communication. It helps so much if the patient has made their wishes known ahead of time and have it in writing.
I believe in my entire heart that as much as we have a right to a certain dignity in living, we have the same right to that dignity in dying. I had to be the decision maker to have my father taken off machines. I know he would have never wanted me to live with him being on machines and never being the man I knew all of my life ever again. My mother had crossed over 5 years prior, and he waited patiently for his own time. It's about being honest of what your heart knows. 💗
I did ICU for years and I said this many times. Even now I do long term care and say same things. At this moment I am primary nurse for my mom on Hospice at home. I made decisions for her to stop lung cancer treatment. Your channel has been so informative to this nurse and comforting. BTW been clean in recovery almost 3 years myself for oxy abuse. AA and spirituality are helping me deal with life on life’s terms and her impending death and to be best daughter to her while she is still with me now❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻
I went through the deaths of my parents and two grandparents that helped raise me. The experience of watching my beloved grandmother die was excruciating. I could not stop crying as she was in the stage of the death rattle. I talked to her as long as I could but I was so distraught at seeing the only person that unconditionally accepted me die. Perhaps it was an hour but I was exhausted because she was the best friend I ever had. I was 36 and she was 90. I had to leave the room and felt that I was a weak person. My mother died of blunt impact and her skull was smashed in with her mouth open and both eyes partially open. The deaths of my grandfather and father were hard too. I understand things better thanks to you. We feel so guilty when loved ones die. Now I'm 68. I'm more scared of life than death.
I'm glad the family was listening to your knowledge as well. They could let their love one pass...Let them go in peace. Thank you for sharing love, light & knowledge in a most difficult time in anyone's lives.
It is a good video. You ended this person's suffering, capped the expense to the family, and freed up the medical people to focus on others. (either other patience or their own mental well being.) The video ended abruptly, I assume it was cause there is still a lot of emotion there for you. Hope you are well, I know watching your videos help me with my own stress with my loved ones and I am sure it helps others as well.
OMG! You are so head on! I worked in a hospital for 24 years and saw this kind of scenario all the time. I too felt like we were doing the patient and family a huge disservice by not acknowledging what was really going on. When my dad was hospitalized ( end stage prostate ca that had metastasized) I was the one that told my family what was going on , a very hard discussion but I was so glad that no one had the illusion of him getting better then to be stunned when he passed. I had to fight to get him discharged to hospice ( his wishes) and not the nursing home. He was transferred late afternoon and passed the next morning. I still feel good about that😊. Keep up your wonderful work Julie it’s so important for people to truly understand the circle of life! God bless you!
I had the experience of knowing my mother was terminal and forced her to undergo things to "get better" anyway I wish to God I had just let her go peacefully I didn't have that concept nor did I know about hospice Thanks for sharing 🌹
I have always said to my loved ones that if I end up on a ventilator and their is no hope of life, I would want someone to be brave enough to make the decision to switch the machine off. IMO, there is no dignity in prolonging life just because we can. For me, a dignified death is accepting the inevitable and choosing to let go. Thankfully, I have faith that life goes on beyond the body, and death is just a doorway. Thank you for posting this video. You did the right thing in speaking up.
You totally did the right thing!! I hope when my time comes I have someone as honest and as understanding to talk to my family. I have zero desire to exist in a hospital bed. That is no sort of life. I pray that my doctors and nurses be completely honest allowing my kids to follow through with my wishes.
Two years is a very young nurse and the fact that you even felt that way let alone found the courage to speak up says volumes about who you are as a person! Some nurses never "mature" to that level. You were born to do this.
Making that first step into your full power as a highly trained health care professional by bringing the hard truth of a scenario to the Family about their loved one, completely encompasses the intense nursing training with the compassionate human side.. it’s an amazing moment as you described and we are so thankful for this degree of professionalism and kindness, Julie.. 🙏🏻 thank you
Thank God for hospice nurses! I was always afraid of hospice, and so was my mom, but, hospice was such a blessing and support to us both until she took her last breath. And even now, they continue to reach out to me in my grief!
Hi sister..I’m a retired RN, and during my practice, I came to the same conclusion as you did with many of my patients. I’m proud of your insight and treatment of the dying patients!
Death is not bad. It is a part of life. What's bad, is our view of death. When my time comes, I pray everyone is honest! With me, with y loved ones, and with themselves. God bless you for helping this woman and her family
Death is not the worst thing that can happen to us. Death is relief, beauty and love. We take the love that we created here with us. We leave behind legacies for our loved ones to follow. We cannot stay on Earth forever. We are moving towards death from the time we are born. God Bless You, Julie.
Sometimes, people feel that if they accept the true circumstances that they are giving up on their loved one. In actuality, they are showing how much the loved one is truly loved. Sometimes, the family just needs to hear that from someone who really knows - like you - that it is okay to "let go." It is a sign of deep love for the person dying. You are a blessing to your patients AND to their loved ones. Thank you for what you do.
I hope I have a hospice nurse like you if ever I face that kind of death.She either was going to suffer an enlongated death and didn't have to because you spoke up.I had to put a few animals to sleep that were very dear to me in my lifetime time .Ya done wonderful Julie.Thank you on behalf of humanity.😇😇😇💪🤍💙
you did the exact right thing. So many times we wish to protect someone from the harsh reality whatever it might be but in the end we are only making things worse.
Your story really touched me. Oh boy how do I make this short? My husband woke up March 17, 2020 with symptoms of the flu. Throughout the day his symptoms worsened. I begged, cried and outright threatened him that I was taking him to the hospital or calling the ambulance. Something inside me knew this wasn't just the flu eventhough I kept reassuring myself that it was. He did have some liver damage from chemicals he had worked with when he was in his 20's, PPE was not big at that time. But thought his liver issues were under control. Fast forward it's now 10:30pm or so and I noticed something was just not right. He was sitting at the end of the bed and I asked him, "what month is it?" He mouthed Marched, but barely. I told him I was taken him to the hospital... period. I knew earlier in the day he said he wanted to wash his hair and before taking him to the hospital, I walked out of the bedroom into the kitchen (attached to the master bedroom) to turn the hot water on so I could just lean him over the sink and wash his hair quickly and than take him in. I still ask myself why didn't I call for a ambulance at that moment? I was gone maybe 20 secs and when I walked back into the room, he was no longer sitting on the end of the bed but on the floor between the bed and the tv stand. My husband Tim was 6'4" and 240+ pounds. Not overweight but big framed guy. I grabbed him, moved him over and laid him on his back on the floor. His eyes were open and he was not breathing and no pulse. I started CPR and called 9**. Unfortunately I couldn't continue mouth to mouth due to substances coming from his mouth and nose. I continued CPR until medics arrived. From when I started CPR to when the medics were able to get a faint pulse was 28-30 mins. He was transferred to the E.R. where they tried everything to save his life. They inserted a chest tube and drained out more than I've ever seen in the medical field or the drs. He had sepsis from his liver dumping and now multi organ failure. We couldn't get him stabilized enough to send him to ICU. Tim coded 2 more times not long after he got there. ONE OF THE WORSE PARTS, I WAS A RETIRED MEDIC AFTER 15 YRS AND I COULDN'T SAVE HIM. NOW ONE OF THE BEST PARTS....A NURSE THAT HAD BEEN WITH HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND NEVER LEFT HIS SIDE FOR MAYBE 2+ HRS (TIME CHANGES WHEN YOU'RE IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS) TURNED TO ME AFTER HE HAD CODED FOR THE 3RD TIME AND SAID, (KNOWING I WAS MEDIC) "HONEY YOU KNOW THE DRILL. SOMETIMES IT HELPS WHEN THE LOVE ONES CALLS IT (TELL THE DRS ETC TO STOP CPR)." I ASKED HER HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN? SHE SAID, "WE ARE AT THE 23 MIN MARK. HE'S BEEN WITHOUT A PULSE 3 TIMES NOW FOR A LONG PERIOD." I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT SHE MEANT AND KNEW IT WAS UP TO ME TO STOP THE CPR. I KNEW HE WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME EVEN IF THERE WAS A TINY CHANCE THAT CPR CONTINUED AND HE LIVED. MY HUSBAND WAS A GOD LOVING, GOD FEARING MAN AND THE HUSBAND EVERY WOMAN DREAMS OF BUT ONLY A HANDFUL EXISTS, WORKED, COOKED, CLEANED AND LOVED ME LIKE NO OTHER. IT TOOK ME WHAT SEEMED LIKE HOURS BUT WAS PROBABLY LESS THAN 1 MIN TO SAY, "LET HIM GO HOME." HE HAD JUST TURNED 56 AND I BECAME A WIDOW AT 40. SO TO SAY ALL THAT... I SAY THIS... IT WAS THE MOST HEART WRENCHING CALL TO MAKE BUT I KNEW WHAT WAS RIGHT AND WHAT HIS WISHES WERE. SO I UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF SPEAKING UP FOR SOMEONE THAT CAN'T. For yrs my husband would tell me that GOD was gonna take him home when he turned 55. I would always tell him to stop it etc. He would than say, "I hope I'm still here." But he said it like he knew better and was just trying to make me feel better. When Tim turned 56 I told him, see you're still here. He knew all that time. Some how he really knew. Being in the field I know people died with their eyes opened and closed. Tim never closed his eyes from the min I found him. I truly believe since he knew when he was going home, his eyes were wide open cause he saw something only dieing people do. Perhaps Angel's, JESUS or GOD himself. I don't know... but I did know my husband and eventhough people pass with their eyes open, in my heart I know he saw something beautiful...Marie
Dear Marie, my heart goes out to you! Thank you for sharing, especially now, when your grief is still fresh. Am very thankful that nurse was there to remind what your brain knew but your heart hadn't acknowledged. It sounds like a horrible experience but you stepped up & did what you needed to do for your beloved. You did the right thing. Sending you Big Hugs & prayers ❤
@@laurierice7687 Thank you for your comment. It truly means more to me than you know. All it takes is one person to say something so kind to make another feel better and not alone. So thank you again and have a beautiful day tomorrow. May GOD bless you...Marie
@@HaveyouLovedandbeenLoved I am happy & greatful my comment made you feel better. I will pray again this happens again & surrounded by loved ones. You are never alone, Tim and God are watching over you. Bless you always ❤
@@laurierice7687 Thank you. Just read your comment and I am crying. I don't know how to explain it, put my feeling into words. But seeing someone else type his name made me cry but in a good way and just seeing his name next to GOD and reading that someone else is saying they are looking over me...ahhh...I cant explain it...but it's a good feeling. Unfortunately he only had a few family members and they don't stay connected with me. They are busy with their own lives and have moved on and live 30 hours away. I just feel stuck in missing him and grieving (I guess you can call it). Maybe because it was always me and Tim and his few family members that are still here weren't with him everyday. I'm not saying they don't love or miss him. It's just different with them. The one family member that I was extremely close with was Tim's brother Tom but unfortunately he passed away in July 2016 and he was in his late 40's with 2 of his children being under 7. Tom passed from a stroke and thyroid disease unexpectedly after coming inside from playing with his children outside. He came in, sat down and told his wife he didn't feel good. Than all of a sudden, he died right there within minutes of saying that. I was never close to his wife, she was in and out of his life and very jealous of our relationship. It was a brother type relationship..nothing more. Sorry to ramble. It's almost 5am and I don't sleep well at night, havent been to sleep yet. Thank you again. I will always remember your words.
❤️ MARIE, I'M SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS OF YOUR BELOVED HUSBAND TIM 😢 YOU DID WHAT YOU COULD, YOU MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR YOUR HUSBAND. MAY TIM REST IN PEACE 🕊️ I PRAY THAT YOU ARE ABLE TO FIND COMFORT IN KNOWING THAT TIM IS STILL WITH YOU. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOU MARIE. GOD BLESS 🙏❤️
I hope that if something happens to my husband or myself, we have a nurse as honest and as compassionate as yourself. You are an angel sent by heaven
Yes ! 🌹
Amen! 💗
I agree so much 🥲🙏❤️❤️❤️
Julie is amazing.❤️
What a beautiful gift you have to share. Thank you
We stop the suffering of our pets but not our human loved ones
This wasn’t awful it was a relief and kindness to that lady and her family. Also to the staff taking care of her. It was time to let her go.
I believe that most patients know when they are about to die, more than anyone else.
❤❤❤ Julie you made a difference in that womans life and her family's and you make a difference now. Thank you ❣️
You probably said the very thing that everybody else was thinking, but too scared and nervous to admit.
You ended her suffering and everyone else’s suffering who is feeling/empathizing with her suffering. End of life is not end of living…it’s just end of living along with this body. We were born before our birth and we live after our physical death. How else do people stay with us, as in this case until we express the lesson that their spirit was meant to teach us.
Hospice nurses are Angels here on earth. Can never express how wonderful and grateful to them when my Mom was coming to the end. God bless all of you
Julie, thank you for sharing the hard things. You have given such a good perspective on death. We had to euthanize my beloved cat a few weeks ago, and I was so glad I had been watching your videos. I recognized his actively dying phase. It was still so hard, but it helped to know it was normal, natural, and best of all, that I could help him at the end. It was a peaceful death for him and a sweet, sad letting go for my husband and me. Thank you. I so appreciate what you are doing for your listeners.
Hi I would like to know if you cat had any twitching. My bunny was put down and he started twitching and I wasn't expecting that. I couldn't bare it.
@@candyland2666 that’s pretty common with euthanasia there’s also a chance that the pet may throw up all you can really do is hold them and try to comfort them . I lost my last rescue rabbit on my birthday 2 years ago he was 12 years old and I got him out of a fur farm so they lived much longer than they would have in that tiny little cage hanging from the ceiling but because of covid restrictions I was not allowed back to be with him in his last moments and my heart just hurt so much that he was scared and I couldn’t be there with him to stroke his little face and tell him everything was okay annnnnnnd now I’m crying .
@@Ginger_Sweet I’m sorry I too had a dwarf bunny I want to believe your love and spirit was with him
…..thank heavens for medical personnel such as yourself 💜 🇨🇦👏
You are like a modern day Elizabeth Kubler Ross. I know for certain that you are helping so many people to deal with their own personal experiences with loved ones, friends or with themselves. I want you to know how much you are giving to everyone who listens. ❤❤❤
What a blessing for the family you advocated for. When my father was hospitalized, none of the Drs or nurses would say that to my Mom that Dad was dying. Even now, 16 years after Dad passed, Mom will say 'Why didn't I say stop to all the tests and procedures earlier. '.
Because it's only much later when we realize that we couldn't recognize or stop that we were in denial while it was happening. Makes me wonder how often denial has saved a loved one's life.
What you did was right. You are appreciated and you are loved ❤❤
I’m sure the patient appreciated you! Nobody wants to be kept alive by machines.
Love you and your heart! Thank you
Such compassion💕
Thank God for you and your voice of compassion and truth Julie.
Same situation as that patient with my dad. Nobody told us if we were helping him live or helping him die. The treatments in ICU and in the step down units led us to believe we were helping him live. If I had known all that you have been teaching us back in 2017, he wld have been spared so much suffering. My four siblings and I have second hand trauma/ptsd from the ordeal and if we had been informed things wld have been so different. One eye is leaking sad tears and the other is leaking super pissed off tears. Thank you for your channel. You have a unique and much needed calling in life.
We really thought all the crap they were doing to him was to help him end up living. Healing and living. They had to have known he was dying.
I’m so angry about what he went through when the outcome was going to be death anyways.
Edited to clarify that last sentence.
Very same story when my dad was in ICU. No one had the heart/guts to tell us the truth.
Like me, you ARE this job, and I so totally GET what you're saying! I left Nephrology 10 yrs ago after becoming disabled, but I too had become the job! To this day, whenever I can achieve REM sleep, I'm right back in my scrubs running from "crisis to crisis". I just wanted you to know, someone understands, including about this "victory".🕊 - Diana
I've been watching your videos for a little while now. A very dear friend wasn't eating or drinking & because of you I knew what that meant. Then all of a sudden he woke up, was talking, eat & drinking. I knew that was the rally. I didn't have the heart to tell the family. He wasn't on hospice. He was in a rehab for a broken hip. I just want to thank you for educating people. It helps! Keep up the good work! 🫂
I LOVE YOU for speaking out
You are a good woman. You are.
Julie, you are a beautiful person. Im 73 and death enters my mind as I grow older. I took care of my Mom and she wouldnt let go until .i got in her hospital bed I had Hospice set up in my livingroom. Once my Mom felt me snuggling her, she could even smell me as well as me telling her that I was going to be ok and she could let go, I could feel her body totally give in and she passed. I pray I can go like that or be blessed having a nurse like you. You are an earth angel to many. Thank God.
I wished the nurse or someone at the hospital in Mexico would have told us the truth when my grandmother was admitted. We would have accepted it and taken her home to die surrounded by her loved ones. When dad wasn't doing better after surgery in December 2022, we all decided to take him home in hospice. He passed away within 2 days surrounded by all his family. Please continue to tell the family the truth. Hard to accept it but we appreciate it. 🙏
I have never understood why oncologists and trauma doctors do everything to keep patients alive even though death is the kindest outcome for the patient. We are kinder to our animals when it comes to suffering. God bless you for being a voice for those who can’t speak for themselves.
Thank you very much for your courage and telling this story. I spent over 4 months in the hospital with my wife and the Doctors never had your courage making us believe we had a chance when her DX only had one outcome. We would have been willing to say goodbye much sooner if they were honest but since she was 26 years old I believe they were having trouble coming to the point.
After it was obvious she was passing they told me she was going to die, but her and I already said goodbye at that point. I spent just over 2 million trying to keep her alive with procedures that were not covered by insurance so I left the hospital without her and in a lot of trouble. I am now 56 and am still paying the bills and wish they would have been honest up front. We both would have accepted the facts and it would have been much easier on me to raise our 2 year old daughter.
Thanks for your courage.
Am sincerely sorry you lost your wife and and daughter's mother at such a young age. It's never right to withhold a terminal diagnosis. It makes me sad you are still making payments on hospital bills. You would think the hospital would have taken off at least part of the bill for treatment she didn't need. Blessings to you & your daughter ❤
Heartbreaking yet amazing story
I hope there is someone who will do that for me at the end of my life. God bless you
Love you… courageous ‼️‼️‼️‼️🌈🙏💌🤩
***You never know when you've spoke your last words to a love one. Make sure they are loving words. Living with the guilt of knowing what your last words should have been will destroy a part of you!***
That's the Exact Reason my family & friends always say "I love you" when parting after a visit or before saying "goodbye" on the phone❤
You didn’t give in to the temptation of escaping the harsh reality. I think you did a favor to the family and of course, the patient.
My usual comment (and my usual observation)- You are a Treasure ! 🌹
I had to make a similar decision about my mother. Even though I knew she didn't want her life extended under her health condition, it wasn't easy, but it didn't prolong her suffering by selfishly keeping a greatly diminished shell of her in our world.
Giving terminal patients a "good death" is the right thing to do. Families need compassionate honesty in such situations. They need to know that this journey is ending for an individual. But then, I see death as birthing a soul. Thank you for sharing your story.
I agree,Julie!
We need to be honest with the families!
In the US, medical debt is a frequent cause of financial ruin. The ICU and life support are expensive and, when there's no hope of recovery, families need to know. Thank you for having the courage to speak up!
Too often the attitude is to squeeze every last drop of life from a suffering and dying person regardless of the lack of any quality of life or recovery in a way that no compassionate person would put a beloved pet through. That is to our shame.
You are the most compassionate nurse I have ever come across on social media and in real life. Thank you for what you do
We had a family member who collapsed at home and when she was evaluated at the hospital it was determined that half of her brain was engulfed by a brain bleed. There would be no more singing, no more art, no more trips to the library. She had basic functions like breathing and that was it. We all agreed that that was not HER any more. We asked that she be kept warm and safe until the family member with the power of attorney over her health could arrive the next day. The decision was made, and everyone who could came to say goodbye to her. We stayed with her until she passed peacefully. The nurses kept saying thank you for not prolonging this and doing the hard thing and saying goodbye. It's hard to do the right thing, but we did, and we can sleep well at night knowing that. The nurses were wonderful and we were grateful they understood. When it's my time to go, I hope the ones around me realize that and let me go. Death is the necessary condition of life, and it should be made as peaceful as possible. Blessings to the hospice nurses who help us let go.
I pray that when my time comes there is someone to speak up for me. Let me go when it’s time, let me go with dignity, let me go with love. ❤. God bless you Julie for being courageous and stepping up for your patients. Doing the right thing is hard . Hugs!
I hope my husband and I get a good truthful nurse like you when it's our time or getting close to our time. My husband has stage 4 cancer and I worry about the treatments doing more harm than good. I hope our Dr is straightforward enough to let us know it's time to stop.
Thank you for your compassion. This is why I have an 'advanced directive'. This is my decision and my desire for my life. Thank you for caring for your patients.
I’m a retired ICU nurse and I remember a patient who was dying from stomach cancer and on multiple machines and drips etc. and not one doctor would tell the family they were dying even though they shared it with us and we knew anyway, we nurses would discuss it and feel almost desperate for this patient as the family kept wanting interventions even surgeries. Finally one night there were like 8 members of his family there and I got up my nerve to enter the waiting room and gently talked to them about the fact that he was dying no matter what we do the end result would be the same. They ended up thanking me for being honest and letting them know. Many times I saw this where the doctors are not taught how to talk to family about death
There are cowardly medical professionals and society is cowardly about this topic. It's a team effort.
Like I said before Julie. You are a good human!
I agree: that was really a good, loving thing to do. Well done. I hope I will have someone like you around some day.
Yesterday I found out my mother has dementia and so does my father (which I already knew about). The doctor advised me to get ADVANCED DIRECTIVES signed right away so that neither of them suffer in the end. Now I just need to get them signed by them...oh boy...😞
I had to get power of attorney for my dad, veterans is different. So if you have a vet find out first what they need especially with a military.
You did the right thing . Don't beat yourself up over it . I've seen alot of death myself . And my only military son die . Things go down a certain way for a reason . All you need to know . Move on , there still more battles to deal with .
I remember the first patient that died in my care. Some things you never forget.
Thank you for all you do, Julie. Your efforts with your patients and your education for the public is so needed. My MIL will probably need hospice within the next few years and this channel has given us vital information and will make it possible for us to make more informed decisions. You are so appreciated💝
This hits home so much.
I was ICU then CCU nurse for years and ran into this exact dilemma. The doctors mean well, but you, the nurse, touch that patient, implement the orders that are futile. Your patient must have been so relieved and grateful to just stop fighting the inevitable and go home in peace. It is so hard for families to feel the pressure to agree to yet another extraordinary measure. All cases are different and doctors and families need to have open communication. It helps so much if the patient has made their wishes known ahead of time and have it in writing.
Oh my goodness THANK YOU!
Death is not the worst that can happen to us. U were so right. She couldn't say, let me go.
I believe in my entire heart that as much as we have a right to a certain dignity in living, we have the same right to that dignity in dying. I had to be the decision maker to have my father taken off machines. I know he would have never wanted me to live with him being on machines and never being the man I knew all of my life ever again. My mother had crossed over 5 years prior, and he waited patiently for his own time. It's about being honest of what your heart knows. 💗
Death isn’t a bad thing! SO much respect to you for speaking up!!!! ❤️🌻
Dying is going home. You are an angel, helping others thru the transition.
I did ICU for years and I said this many times. Even now I do long term care and say same things. At this moment I am primary nurse for my mom on Hospice at home. I made decisions for her to stop lung cancer treatment. Your channel has been so informative to this nurse and comforting. BTW been clean in recovery almost 3 years myself for oxy abuse. AA and spirituality are helping me deal with life on life’s terms and her impending death and to be best daughter to her while she is still with me now❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻
You did something very very good! Death is not the worst thing that can happen to a person. You did great….
Thank you for your candor. I've been around many on life support. It's not peaceful and calm like they show on tv.
I went through the deaths of my parents and two grandparents that helped raise me. The experience of watching my beloved grandmother die was excruciating. I could not stop crying as she was in the stage of the death rattle. I talked to her as long as I could but I was so distraught at seeing the only person that unconditionally accepted me die. Perhaps it was an hour but I was exhausted because she was the best friend I ever had. I was 36 and she was 90. I had to leave the room and felt that I was a weak person. My mother died of blunt impact and her skull was smashed in with her mouth open and both eyes partially open. The deaths of my grandfather and father were hard too. I understand things better thanks to you. We feel so guilty when loved ones die. Now I'm 68. I'm more scared of life than death.
I wish there were more like you.
I'm glad the family was listening to your knowledge as well. They could let their love one pass...Let them go in peace. Thank you for sharing love, light & knowledge in a most difficult time in anyone's lives.
You have enriched my understanding so much.
May the memories of love outweigh the grief of loss. That was the right thing to do.
It is a good video. You ended this person's suffering, capped the expense to the family, and freed up the medical people to focus on others. (either other patience or their own mental well being.)
The video ended abruptly, I assume it was cause there is still a lot of emotion there for you. Hope you are well, I know watching your videos help me with my own stress with my loved ones and I am sure it helps others as well.
Hey …. Everything is Devine….we don’t get out of here a minute early or a minute late…yes!!!
OMG! You are so head on! I worked in a hospital for 24 years and saw this kind of scenario all the time. I too felt like we were doing the patient and family a huge disservice by not acknowledging what was really going on. When my dad was hospitalized ( end stage prostate ca that had metastasized) I was the one that told my family what was going on , a very hard discussion but I was so glad that no one had the illusion of him getting better then to be stunned when he passed. I had to fight to get him discharged to hospice ( his wishes) and not the nursing home. He was transferred late afternoon and passed the next morning. I still feel good about that😊. Keep up your wonderful work Julie it’s so important for people to truly understand the circle of life! God bless you!
As a caregiver, I’ve seen this a million times; keeping someone “going” when they are trying to die.
Thank God for giving you your voice to advocate for your patients.
We need a lot more nurses like you.
Thank you.
I was a nursing student and had a similar experience. Now I say, sometimes the truth gets lost in being appropriate.
I had the experience of knowing my mother was terminal and forced her to undergo things to "get better" anyway
I wish to God I had just let her go peacefully
I didn't have that concept nor did I know about hospice
Thanks for sharing 🌹
This made me cry. I am a retired RN and this so hit home with me. The greatest act of love can be to let them go. Thank you, Julie.
I have always said to my loved ones that if I end up on a ventilator and their is no hope of life, I would want someone to be brave enough to make the decision to switch the machine off. IMO, there is no dignity in prolonging life just because we can. For me, a dignified death is accepting the inevitable and choosing to let go. Thankfully, I have faith that life goes on beyond the body, and death is just a doorway. Thank you for posting this video. You did the right thing in speaking up.
Thank you so much. ❤
Made me cry (good cry ) Thanks for what you do!!
You totally did the right thing!! I hope when my time comes I have someone as honest and as understanding to talk to my family. I have zero desire to exist in a hospital bed. That is no sort of life. I pray that my doctors and nurses be completely honest allowing my kids to follow through with my wishes.
Two years is a very young nurse and the fact that you even felt that way let alone found the courage to speak up says volumes about who you are as a person! Some nurses never "mature" to that level. You were born to do this.
The truth will set all of us free. Thank you for being authentic, and compassionate. This video brings tears.
Making that first step into your full power as a highly trained health care professional by bringing the hard truth of a scenario to the Family about their loved one, completely encompasses the intense nursing training with the compassionate human side.. it’s an amazing moment as you described and we are so thankful for this degree of professionalism and kindness, Julie.. 🙏🏻 thank you
Yes, it was the right thing.💜
I hope when I’m dying that I have a person like you…compassionate and truthful! ❤️
Thank You for your courage in diminishing suffering.
Thank God for hospice nurses! I was always afraid of hospice, and so was my mom, but, hospice was such a blessing and support to us both until she took her last breath. And even now, they continue to reach out to me in my grief!
you did the right thing.
Hi sister..I’m a retired RN, and during my practice, I came to the same conclusion as you did with many of my patients. I’m proud of your insight and treatment of the dying patients!
I wish all nurses were as caring as you 🙏
Death is not bad. It is a part of life. What's bad, is our view of death. When my time comes, I pray everyone is honest! With me, with y loved ones, and with themselves. God bless you for helping this woman and her family
Death is not the worst thing that can happen to us. Death is relief, beauty and love. We take the love that we created here with us. We leave behind legacies for our loved ones to follow. We cannot stay on Earth forever. We are moving towards death from the time we are born. God Bless You, Julie.
WOW Julie, what an experience.
May God bless you Julie !
I admire your integrity . Thank you
Yes-from a retired 40+ years career acute care nurse. It is not easy to step out of "going with the flow" but once you do it....
You are wonderful. Thank you
Sometimes, people feel that if they accept the true circumstances that they are giving up on their loved one. In actuality, they are showing how much the loved one is truly loved. Sometimes, the family just needs to hear that from someone who really knows - like you - that it is okay to "let go." It is a sign of deep love for the person dying. You are a blessing to your patients AND to their loved ones. Thank you for what you do.
I just hope/wish when end of life comes, that my care givers are a spitting image of you!! What a way to go :)
I pray someone honest is there when it’s someone I love or even me. Thank you for being so frank
You are a wonderful hospice nurse for a reason ❤
I hope I have a hospice nurse like you if ever I face that kind of death.She either was going to suffer an enlongated death and didn't have to because you spoke up.I had to put a few animals to sleep that were very dear to me in my lifetime time .Ya done wonderful Julie.Thank you on behalf of humanity.😇😇😇💪🤍💙
you did the exact right thing. So many times we wish to protect someone from the harsh reality whatever it might be but in the end we are only making things worse.
Your story really touched me. Oh boy how do I make this short? My husband woke up March 17, 2020 with symptoms of the flu. Throughout the day his symptoms worsened. I begged, cried and outright threatened him that I was taking him to the hospital or calling the ambulance. Something inside me knew this wasn't just the flu eventhough I kept reassuring myself that it was. He did have some liver damage from chemicals he had worked with when he was in his 20's, PPE was not big at that time. But thought his liver issues were under control. Fast forward it's now 10:30pm or so and I noticed something was just not right. He was sitting at the end of the bed and I asked him, "what month is it?" He mouthed Marched, but barely. I told him I was taken him to the hospital... period. I knew earlier in the day he said he wanted to wash his hair and before taking him to the hospital, I walked out of the bedroom into the kitchen (attached to the master bedroom) to turn the hot water on so I could just lean him over the sink and wash his hair quickly and than take him in. I still ask myself why didn't I call for a ambulance at that moment? I was gone maybe 20 secs and when I walked back into the room, he was no longer sitting on the end of the bed but on the floor between the bed and the tv stand. My husband Tim was 6'4" and 240+ pounds. Not overweight but big framed guy. I grabbed him, moved him over and laid him on his back on the floor. His eyes were open and he was not breathing and no pulse. I started CPR and called 9**. Unfortunately I couldn't continue mouth to mouth due to substances coming from his mouth and nose. I continued CPR until medics arrived. From when I started CPR to when the medics were able to get a faint pulse was 28-30 mins. He was transferred to the E.R. where they tried everything to save his life. They inserted a chest tube and drained out more than I've ever seen in the medical field or the drs. He had sepsis from his liver dumping and now multi organ failure. We couldn't get him stabilized enough to send him to ICU. Tim coded 2 more times not long after he got there. ONE OF THE WORSE PARTS, I WAS A RETIRED MEDIC AFTER 15 YRS AND I COULDN'T SAVE HIM. NOW ONE OF THE BEST PARTS....A NURSE THAT HAD BEEN WITH HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND NEVER LEFT HIS SIDE FOR MAYBE 2+ HRS (TIME CHANGES WHEN YOU'RE IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS) TURNED TO ME AFTER HE HAD CODED FOR THE 3RD TIME AND SAID, (KNOWING I WAS MEDIC) "HONEY YOU KNOW THE DRILL. SOMETIMES IT HELPS WHEN THE LOVE ONES CALLS IT (TELL THE DRS ETC TO STOP CPR)." I ASKED HER HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN? SHE SAID, "WE ARE AT THE 23 MIN MARK. HE'S BEEN WITHOUT A PULSE 3 TIMES NOW FOR A LONG PERIOD." I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT SHE MEANT AND KNEW IT WAS UP TO ME TO STOP THE CPR. I KNEW HE WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME EVEN IF THERE WAS A TINY CHANCE THAT CPR CONTINUED AND HE LIVED. MY HUSBAND WAS A GOD LOVING, GOD FEARING MAN AND THE HUSBAND EVERY WOMAN DREAMS OF BUT ONLY A HANDFUL EXISTS, WORKED, COOKED, CLEANED AND LOVED ME LIKE NO OTHER. IT TOOK ME WHAT SEEMED LIKE HOURS BUT WAS PROBABLY LESS THAN 1 MIN TO SAY, "LET HIM GO HOME." HE HAD JUST TURNED 56 AND I BECAME A WIDOW AT 40. SO TO SAY ALL THAT... I SAY THIS... IT WAS THE MOST HEART WRENCHING CALL TO MAKE BUT I KNEW WHAT WAS RIGHT AND WHAT HIS WISHES WERE. SO I UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF SPEAKING UP FOR SOMEONE THAT CAN'T. For yrs my husband would tell me that GOD was gonna take him home when he turned 55. I would always tell him to stop it etc. He would than say, "I hope I'm still here." But he said it like he knew better and was just trying to make me feel better. When Tim turned 56 I told him, see you're still here. He knew all that time. Some how he really knew. Being in the field I know people died with their eyes opened and closed. Tim never closed his eyes from the min I found him. I truly believe since he knew when he was going home, his eyes were wide open cause he saw something only dieing people do. Perhaps Angel's, JESUS or GOD himself. I don't know... but I did know my husband and eventhough people pass with their eyes open, in my heart I know he saw something beautiful...Marie
Dear Marie, my heart goes out to you! Thank you for sharing, especially now, when your grief is still fresh. Am very thankful that nurse was there to remind what your brain knew but your heart hadn't acknowledged. It sounds like a horrible experience but you stepped up & did what you needed to do for your beloved. You did the right thing. Sending you Big Hugs & prayers ❤
@@laurierice7687 Thank you for your comment. It truly means more to me than you know. All it takes is one person to say something so kind to make another feel better and not alone. So thank you again and have a beautiful day tomorrow. May GOD bless you...Marie
@@HaveyouLovedandbeenLoved I am happy & greatful my comment made you feel better. I will pray again this happens again & surrounded by loved ones. You are never alone, Tim and God are watching over you. Bless you always ❤
@@laurierice7687 Thank you. Just read your comment and I am crying. I don't know how to explain it, put my feeling into words. But seeing someone else type his name made me cry but in a good way and just seeing his name next to GOD and reading that someone else is saying they are looking over me...ahhh...I cant explain it...but it's a good feeling. Unfortunately he only had a few family members and they don't stay connected with me. They are busy with their own lives and have moved on and live 30 hours away. I just feel stuck in missing him and grieving (I guess you can call it). Maybe because it was always me and Tim and his few family members that are still here weren't with him everyday. I'm not saying they don't love or miss him. It's just different with them. The one family member that I was extremely close with was Tim's brother Tom but unfortunately he passed away in July 2016 and he was in his late 40's with 2 of his children being under 7. Tom passed from a stroke and thyroid disease unexpectedly after coming inside from playing with his children outside. He came in, sat down and told his wife he didn't feel good. Than all of a sudden, he died right there within minutes of saying that. I was never close to his wife, she was in and out of his life and very jealous of our relationship. It was a brother type relationship..nothing more. Sorry to ramble. It's almost 5am and I don't sleep well at night, havent been to sleep yet. Thank you again. I will always remember your words.
❤️ MARIE, I'M SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS OF YOUR BELOVED HUSBAND TIM 😢 YOU DID WHAT YOU COULD, YOU MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR YOUR HUSBAND. MAY TIM REST IN PEACE 🕊️
I PRAY THAT YOU ARE ABLE TO FIND COMFORT IN KNOWING THAT TIM IS STILL WITH YOU. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOU MARIE. GOD BLESS 🙏❤️