There's a reason you only have 7 "thumbs up". Mine has come back. Going "no contact" doesn't magically "bring them back". The truth is, there's a 70% chance they have no idea why they behave the the way they do. They have to *want* to heal, be cognizant of their attachment style or, at the very least, their behaviors, or simply, you have to be "worth it" enough for them (NOT in general; there's a difference) to return. It might be altruistic to announce "they'll never come back" so the majority of people (the 70%) have the opportunity to heal and move on, but just know, this is NOT accurate. But if you haven't done an immense amount of research, have the patience of a healed secure attachment style, and/or be willing to shoulder a LOT of emotional turmoil, you should move on. There are plenty of people out there that will love with you with a hell of a lot less effort.
@@teraedwards7835 that’s awesome that yours came back, and i hope the time apart sorted out the cause for you guys separating in the first place. People need to want to heal, I agree, and that takes accountability, something I mention in this video. Some don’t have an idea on why they behave the way they do, something I also agree with, but again, that’s why accountability is important. Until we can self reflect, no amount of no contact will result in a long term, healthy relationship, even if the ex does come back. Thank you for commenting, and sharing your experience and thoughts. You’re awesome!
This video was awesome and one of the best i have seen i and i have seen like milion of them. Why? Because really it is better to MOVE ON. No matter if they come back or not. I don't even want her old version - her fatal lack of cummonication, stone walling, gaslighting, silent treatment is not accetable for me now. She will come back healed ENOUGH or BYE. Also because of your comment i gave him sub which i forgot to gave. He made very good video imo. And yes they come back sometimes but more importantly is to come back to you - to be you, once again.
@@LordJayAndrew I think know one understood him quite like I was able too, and I'm very kind which is tough to find nowadays 🙂But I know my worth now, and I can't look for happiness in another person, I have to look for it in myself & god to bring peace ❤️
@ if I may, and I hope this doesn’t come across wrong, but the fact that he came back 3 times suggest unhealthily attachment. What I try to explain in this vid is, going no contact doesn’t work in getting your ex back, at least not a version of them that ensures a healthy relationship. If the root issues are not addressed, we shouldn’t want our exes to come back. And yes, finding a nice person these days is hard to find. Keep shining !
Interestingly, the avoidant will act like you're invisible, but he sees you. It''s the love you have to give that scares the avoidant. A secure attacher would welcome all you have to offer. When we move on and heal, we become secure, and therefore, attract secure. Thank you for commenting.
@@LordJayAndrew I asked him why he treats me like i'm invisible. He answerd me after 19 hours: this is how you think I act? After that he said that we are not compatibile. I told him to have a nice life. But in the last two months I sufered like crazy. It's been 10 days since i'm ok. We are LDR. I traveled 800 km to treat me like i'm invisible and he didn't even want to have a conversation în the last 3 weeks... F... him. Thank God that i'm ok. It's been such a long journey to be normal.
I’m sorry you had to go through that. Attachment styles make dating messy, but as long as you stick to the healing journey and focus on becoming securely attached, to learn and grow, you will eventually arrive at a place where you’re attracting the person who’s at the same level of healing as you. If you ever need help, someone to encourage and support you, please reach out to me. I will leave a link to my discord server where we can always chat and help each other heal and grow. discord.com/channels/1272114711202103449/1272114712804458529
@@Lavinia-uz7ul it might be a genuine appreciation for the post, but it also could be a testing method to see if he can still have access to you whenever he wants. Remember, avoidant partners want all the validation an Anxious offers but because they don’t need to put in any effort. Anxious partners generally accept breadcrumbs. Don’t be that person. Don’t accept bare-minimum effort. You deserve full-blown commitment and devotion. Your inner child will try and convince you otherwise, but as you heal, you’ll start to find bare-minimum effort unattractive.
I'd say you're right. Generally, women leave because the man is just not it, whereas men leave out of stupidity or immaturity, or straight ego. What do you think?
@@LordJayAndrew@LordJayAndrew I am sure most women have no sense at all. Also they are usually immoral and abusive. They dump easily the good men and love and live long with horrible ones. Drunks, drug addicts and criminals are very popular among women. And I am not talking about some stupid young chicks but I have the most horrible experiences with 40 and 50 plus yo women. They are just insane. No logic at all. Zero. My 75 yo mother is a total psychopath too. NC does not work with women bc they do not think, they do not care and they move on to another man to abuse.
@@marguskiis7711 I don’t know about this, man. I know that women can be unkind to men they perceive as weak, and the level of this behavior can vary based on the woman’s character. But this doesn’t necessarily make them abusive when you look closer at female nature and how they’re wired. The truth is, women need to feel safe, and when they don’t, they respond in very typical ways to indicate at their instinctual need for safety and security. ‘Abuse’ implies a lack of respect. Even toxic or immature women tend to treat men they respect fairly well. Poor behavior isn’t excusable, but it’s also not as black-and-white as we men might want it to be. I understand that women have a reputation for avoiding accountability, but accountability hasn’t been an instinctual requirement for women-obedience has. The modern woman has been taught that obedience to men is wrong, which has become a global issue. However, obedience still naturally shows up when a woman is in the presence of what her mind perceives as ‘strength.’ This ‘masculinity’ women find attractive manifests as: Competence Assertiveness Purpose Resistance to manipulation Drive and ambition Social respect or dominance Unwavering self-confidence Even humor-women want both security and fun, and a man who provides both in abundance will be seen as ‘top-tier,’ because humor implies intelligence, which translates to competence, which in turn, reads as masculine. Men who lack these qualities rarely experience women in the same way as ‘strong’ men do. When a woman spends significant time around a man she views as weak, her treatment of him will often reflect her lack of respect. But before we villainize this natural response, consider whether we, as men, act any differently toward women we perceive as unattractive or promiscuous. Something to remember: women don’t necessarily want a ‘good’ man-they want a ‘strong’ man. And ‘good’ doesn’t always mean ‘strong.’ A woman in the presence of a man she deems strong will naturally respond to him with respect, even if she’s immature or toxic, because otherwise, she risks losing access to him. I often see men complain about how women treat them, but many of these men seriously lack the traits that instinctively signal ‘strength’ to women. Additionally, a strong man wouldn’t find immature, conceited women attractive. The hard truth is we attract what we are. If I keep attracting immature, conceited women, then by implication, I’m likely a weak man, because toxic women seek out weaker men because they’re easier to manipulate. Similarly, a woman without decency can’t realistically hope to attract a strong man. We men need a level of accountability and honesty too. Maybe our struggles with women are the universe’s way of telling us we’re not yet the men we could be. Perhaps we should focus on growth, leveling up, and healing old patterns or wounds. What do you think?
There's a reason you only have 7 "thumbs up". Mine has come back. Going "no contact" doesn't magically "bring them back". The truth is, there's a 70% chance they have no idea why they behave the the way they do. They have to *want* to heal, be cognizant of their attachment style or, at the very least, their behaviors, or simply, you have to be "worth it" enough for them (NOT in general; there's a difference) to return.
It might be altruistic to announce "they'll never come back" so the majority of people (the 70%) have the opportunity to heal and move on, but just know, this is NOT accurate. But if you haven't done an immense amount of research, have the patience of a healed secure attachment style, and/or be willing to shoulder a LOT of emotional turmoil, you should move on. There are plenty of people out there that will love with you with a hell of a lot less effort.
@@teraedwards7835 that’s awesome that yours came back, and i hope the time apart sorted out the cause for you guys separating in the first place.
People need to want to heal, I agree, and that takes accountability, something I mention in this video.
Some don’t have an idea on why they behave the way they do, something I also agree with, but again, that’s why accountability is important.
Until we can self reflect, no amount of no contact will result in a long term, healthy relationship, even if the ex does come back.
Thank you for commenting, and sharing your experience and thoughts. You’re awesome!
@@LordJayAndrew love your response to this ❤
@@hazelmclardy8450 🤍🤍🤍
This video was awesome and one of the best i have seen i and i have seen like milion of them. Why? Because really it is better to MOVE ON. No matter if they come back or not. I don't even want her old version - her fatal lack of cummonication, stone walling, gaslighting, silent treatment is not accetable for me now. She will come back healed ENOUGH or BYE. Also because of your comment i gave him sub which i forgot to gave. He made very good video imo. And yes they come back sometimes but more importantly is to come back to you - to be you, once again.
@@haihai5293 🤍🤍🤍
mine came back 3 times already!
@@RancidPetals23 hahaha wow.
@@RancidPetals23 what is your secret?
@ If he tried to come back this time, I would never want him.. fckn weirdo! haha 🤣
@@LordJayAndrew I think know one understood him quite like I was able too, and I'm very kind which is tough to find nowadays 🙂But I know my worth now, and I can't look for happiness in another person, I have to look for it in myself & god to bring peace ❤️
@ if I may, and I hope this doesn’t come across wrong, but the fact that he came back 3 times suggest unhealthily attachment.
What I try to explain in this vid is, going no contact doesn’t work in getting your ex back, at least not a version of them that ensures a healthy relationship.
If the root issues are not addressed, we shouldn’t want our exes to come back.
And yes, finding a nice person these days is hard to find. Keep shining !
not true lol. They always come back. they rarely change but always always be back 🫠
Thank you for this! It’s so true! He never came back!
Hi @trixtrix1767. It's not a nice feeling, but I hope you never forget that you're worth coming back to.
@@LordJayAndrew ❤️❤️❤️
Very well said my friend. You 've got a like and a subscription from me. Keep up the good work.
@@kylereese9462 I really appreciate that, thank you !!
I feel like no contact is kinda….
Counter productive with an avoidant.
True. He treats me like i'm invisible in real life. They never come back.
Interestingly, the avoidant will act like you're invisible, but he sees you. It''s the love you have to give that scares the avoidant. A secure attacher would welcome all you have to offer. When we move on and heal, we become secure, and therefore, attract secure. Thank you for commenting.
@@LordJayAndrew I asked him why he treats me like i'm invisible. He answerd me after 19 hours: this is how you think I act? After that he said that we are not compatibile. I told him to have a nice life. But in the last two months I sufered like crazy. It's been 10 days since i'm ok. We are LDR. I traveled 800 km to treat me like i'm invisible and he didn't even want to have a conversation în the last 3 weeks... F... him. Thank God that i'm ok. It's been such a long journey to be normal.
I’m sorry you had to go through that. Attachment styles make dating messy, but as long as you stick to the healing journey and focus on becoming securely attached, to learn and grow, you will eventually arrive at a place where you’re attracting the person who’s at the same level of healing as you.
If you ever need help, someone to encourage and support you, please reach out to me. I will leave a link to my discord server where we can always chat and help each other heal and grow. discord.com/channels/1272114711202103449/1272114712804458529
@@LordJayAndrew He gave me heart reaction at one selfie that I posted. What does this means? One week ago he said we are not compatibile.
@@Lavinia-uz7ul it might be a genuine appreciation for the post, but it also could be a testing method to see if he can still have access to you whenever he wants. Remember, avoidant partners want all the validation an Anxious offers but because they don’t need to put in any effort. Anxious partners generally accept breadcrumbs. Don’t be that person. Don’t accept bare-minimum effort. You deserve full-blown commitment and devotion. Your inner child will try and convince you otherwise, but as you heal, you’ll start to find bare-minimum effort unattractive.
NC works well on men but almost never with women.
I'd say you're right. Generally, women leave because the man is just not it, whereas men leave out of stupidity or immaturity, or straight ego. What do you think?
@@LordJayAndrew@LordJayAndrew I am sure most women have no sense at all. Also they are usually immoral and abusive. They dump easily the good men and love and live long with horrible ones. Drunks, drug addicts and criminals are very popular among women. And I am not talking about some stupid young chicks but I have the most horrible experiences with 40 and 50 plus yo women. They are just insane. No logic at all. Zero. My 75 yo mother is a total psychopath too.
NC does not work with women bc they do not think, they do not care and they move on to another man to abuse.
@@marguskiis7711 I don’t know about this, man.
I know that women can be unkind to men they perceive as weak, and the level of this behavior can vary based on the woman’s character. But this doesn’t necessarily make them abusive when you look closer at female nature and how they’re wired. The truth is, women need to feel safe, and when they don’t, they respond in very typical ways to indicate at their instinctual need for safety and security.
‘Abuse’ implies a lack of respect. Even toxic or immature women tend to treat men they respect fairly well. Poor behavior isn’t excusable, but it’s also not as black-and-white as we men might want it to be.
I understand that women have a reputation for avoiding accountability, but accountability hasn’t been an instinctual requirement for women-obedience has. The modern woman has been taught that obedience to men is wrong, which has become a global issue. However, obedience still naturally shows up when a woman is in the presence of what her mind perceives as ‘strength.’
This ‘masculinity’ women find attractive manifests as:
Competence
Assertiveness
Purpose
Resistance to manipulation
Drive and ambition
Social respect or dominance
Unwavering self-confidence
Even humor-women want both security and fun, and a man who provides both in abundance will be seen as ‘top-tier,’ because humor implies intelligence, which translates to competence, which in turn, reads as masculine.
Men who lack these qualities rarely experience women in the same way as ‘strong’ men do. When a woman spends significant time around a man she views as weak, her treatment of him will often reflect her lack of respect. But before we villainize this natural response, consider whether we, as men, act any differently toward women we perceive as unattractive or promiscuous.
Something to remember: women don’t necessarily want a ‘good’ man-they want a ‘strong’ man. And ‘good’ doesn’t always mean ‘strong.’ A woman in the presence of a man she deems strong will naturally respond to him with respect, even if she’s immature or toxic, because otherwise, she risks losing access to him.
I often see men complain about how women treat them, but many of these men seriously lack the traits that instinctively signal ‘strength’ to women.
Additionally, a strong man wouldn’t find immature, conceited women attractive. The hard truth is we attract what we are. If I keep attracting immature, conceited women, then by implication, I’m likely a weak man, because toxic women seek out weaker men because they’re easier to manipulate. Similarly, a woman without decency can’t realistically hope to attract a strong man.
We men need a level of accountability and honesty too. Maybe our struggles with women are the universe’s way of telling us we’re not yet the men we could be. Perhaps we should focus on growth, leveling up, and healing old patterns or wounds.
What do you think?