The Dark Empath | 5 Traits
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 พ.ค. 2024
- The Dark Empath,
It's not even a clinical term, but I am sure you have been curious to find out more about this often-mentioned personality type.
by the end of this video, you will walk away with a total understanding of this personality type and what it entails.
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Timestamps:
00:00 | Intro
00:13 | Trait 1 - No payoff in social interaction
00:51 | Trait 2 - Heightened ability to map other people
01:07 | Trait 3 - Detached emotionally
01:18 | Trait 4 - Grandiosity
01:38 | Trait 5 - Exploitative
01:56 | What really is happening...
02:57 | Shocking research
03:50 | Vengeful & Spiteful
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTHCARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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#SOCIOPATHY #Abuse #RichardGrannon - บันเทิง
The dark Empath has evolved through abuse .
Nietzche said something like be careful fighting monsters that you do not become a monster yourself.
I am a dark empath. I was raised by a malignant grandiose narcissist father that used to beat me at six years old for something as simple as not putting away a pair of scissors. I’m not emotionally detached from people that are in my life and I consider them friends or loved ones. If you do something to someone I care about I will destroy you. I’m very cruel, and can be quite grandiose. But I don’t have an overwhelming sense of entitlement. I used to seek out narcissists and ruin them when they crossed me. I’m retired now and keep to myself, so stay clear of cluster B personality types and my life is much more peaceful.
From your story is the main reason my physical dad was murdered while I was still a child. I figured how more curruotd I will be if that man was around. My brothers got the worst of the abuse, yeah, real abuse. I would had it done myself if I knew what I know now. Maybe actually let him be tortured staying alive from all the stuff he had committed to hose he claimed he loved, even Mom.
Omg.. you’re a wussy.. that’s all he did? Grow up 😂
@@anothergirlinasweaterwait till you meet a sociopath or physcopath 😂
@@stevenbruce4143 I have tangled with a female sociopath. She gutted me like a fish. She played me so well that I didn’t have a relationship with another woman for over twenty years
Yes yes yes. You have understood the dark empath. I love you brother. With all my heart and soul. Keep up the good work. One day we will have eradicated all psychopaths, narcissists and Machiavellians.
Contrary to popular belief, that they are just high in cognitive empathy. Some are very high in affective empathy too. Dark empaths are usually your typical empath that has turned bad, often as a result of abuse they themselves have had to bear at some point in their lives. They often reach a point where they stop caring for others and detract themselves from other peoples emotions etc... For this reason I hesitate to call Dark empaths Covert-Narcissists, as is suggested in this video.
I agree with this so much.
So so sooo accurate. It’s quite sad actually. I grew up with narcs but dated a dark empath like me. I thought he was a narc but then was like well he’s my mirror so am I a narc? But I seen in him what I see in me so I’ve been realizing like no I didn’t even think he’s that but he definitely is but it’s cuz he gave up. But I think god sent me him as a gift. Then we had a son. I refuse to believe he is lost completely like most narcs I’ve known. He’s still in there. I’ve learned time and time again I can’t save him or anyone else I’ve tried to. But I can love him unconditionally until one day he realizes all this. I’ve told him but he’s not at the point of being able to truly comprehend what I am explaining he thinks he’s a monster and there’s no hope left for him. But I see so clearly that that’s not true.
I could never decide if my husband was a covert narcissist because he displayed some empathy for others. I could see it there and hope he could have some for me in various situations over the years. It was always lacking. I decided it didn’t matter if he had any empathy or not it wasn’t enough! The degrading, neglect and physical violence put my life in danger so many times and at the very least I was in emotional or physical pain everyday. I left him for the second and last time last week. I’m early in recovery. I have him blocked so he couldn’t get back in my head. The trauma bond feels like I will die if I’m not with him, though the reverse is much more likely. These videos help validate my decision. Thank you, Richard.
Could be me. Please hang in there, I'm 3 months in, you will heal. Please don't break no contact, it's absolutely vital in order to break the trauma bond. Self care is vital, and rely on family and friends x
Hello Melissa, welcome! Richard is the best to help guide us, and the support can feel like the family we couldn't have.
No more walking on eggshells and the gut cramp of betrayal. Stay strong, it is so worth it. Sending love and support
Be strong, be brave, don’t give in and most importantly love yourself, treat yourself, praise yourself every morning!!!
There is man out there who will treat you properly only when you treat yourself properly.
Live life without fear, shame and guilt.
Leave the bastard to “marinate “ in his bastard juices and longer you let him more he will feel like shit. He deserves every moment of his misery.
Trust me he’ll try to lure you with sweet talks and gifts if you don’t persist in no contact.
You only owe the unconditional love to yourself.
You were not brought to this world for him to torture you. You are brought to this world to live life to best of your abilities.
Love and light💜
Keep going Melissa....I feel your pain, but believe me it will get easier....my covert narc husband discarded me eight months ago, I thought I was going to die, he was the air I breathed.........Now, the peace in my life is priceless, I still have a way to go, but I beg you, hang in there.....peace will come ❤
@@jasminasm9182 ❤
I was murmuring “covert narcissist” one second before your naming them. High level of Neuroticism is their distinctive feature, (particularly in the form of frustration) higher than their overt counterparts. Overts are quite prone to anger as well.
The dark empath has the dark triad markers however unlike NPD they do physically feel emotions and absolutely find that part of themselves revolting and hence they project out the dark triad traits on others in their self loathing and shame which is common in the underpinnings NPD 🤗
True empath doesn't talk about being an empath, true empath you observe and you can feel them right away, they have an energy that is truly different and you always feel relaxed around them and pulled to them... they also rarely complain and just do what must be done - for a person or a group or whoever/whatever to make them feel good, acknowledged, accepted, loved etc... The presence of an empath is felt with the 6th sense... Hopefuly i make sense with what i wanted to say 😬✌️
I once met someone who actually was faking being an empath and having a disability. Perhaps it was the way she was boasting about herself. Meanwhile I only mentioned I am one when she dragged me into drama that absolutely didn’t have to happen with me dragged in. You don’t need to believe me. Though there are differences. Feel the environment usually the genuine empath is quietly observing not as talkative around strangers especially if introverted. On the phone this girl was talking the most and pretty much gossiping about others meanwhile me i was the quiet one who didn’t reach out first usually and just observing you know putting the puzzle pieces together. Only empaths would understand another empath. Well more specifically only another INFJ or INFP could understand another INFJ.
Like a forensic scientist trying to solve a case
@@OceanicPearlz1 i totaly believe you!! ❤️
You do not understand. A dark empath is very aware of his/her personality type. Other than usual dark triad members who were born this way, dark empaths made a conscious decision to be this way for the greater good of the people around them. They are literally doing it to hurt other dark triad members.
Sometimes people don't know they are empaths until later in life. They know they are different than others but they don't know why until they are exposed to the information along their journey. Then they put the puzzle pieces together in hindsight and it's their Aha moment.
It’s not narcissist vs narcissist- the narcissist makes the empath feel dark - that’s what it is
I agree. An empathy in dark circumstances naturally result in a damaged empath. But, not dark in nature.
I have alot of hate towards narcissists, especially after the girl that damaged me, but I would never abuse a good person, does that make me a dark empath?
Maybe Machiavellian...
Projective identification
@@Applehead78 being Dangerous Powerful & Formidable is a good virtue.
It's what all true Empaths are,
Being Dangerous Powerful & Formidable doesn't equal being manipulative cruel mean or controlling & abusive
It's means we have the POWER to stop Evil
And we use it as such
A true Empath cannot just leave a Narcissist to go on and get another victim bragging how you got away
A true Empath turns it all around on a narcissist
Uses all the narcissist has dumped into them BACK ONTO THE NARCISSIST in effect destroying the narcissist on every level
Making the narcissist FEAR even going near another womean/relationship
We take all the narcissist Power away, showing them they actually had no inner Power themselves but that I Did
And I used it accordingly
NO WAY can an True Empath (I don't even like that word what gets described as an Empath is inaccurate)
No way could a True Empath ever just leave and let a person go on to do same to another an Empath is the narcissists RECKONING KARMA come back at them usually in a later part in life so they got no Come back won't can't come back, they disappear from everything go hide
We are the ones that grow up and DOB in child abusers too we speak up as kids risking dire punishment no-one listens we wait until we are older have the Power to STOP them and do
We NEVER EVER COULD LET A KNOWN ABUSER TO CONTINUE ABUSING MORE INNOCENTS and we DONT
we use all WITHIN OUR POWER to stop them
An Empath has the ability to take all a narcissists Power away
That's why people like Mr Grannon here and his mate Sam Vakmin HATE ON Empaths so much try to Demonise us as much as possible
They know we aren't afraid of them, we watch observe give many opportunities to see different to what we are seeing we even tell the narcissist what we are going to do
They just laugh at us and DONT BELIEVE US then get all I'm a victim now when they get back ALL they gave out for years to many from ONE PERSON
...
I remember the ex saying to me
My God I didn't expect this from you!
No he didn't that was Kind of the point
Empaths are EXTREMELY POWERFUL loaded with True Power from Within
Empaths use that Power accordingly to put things back in BALANCE again
You won't hear an Empath complaining much or victimising themselves
They see Know get shown what its all about
Also an Empath would never Disrespect the people they help & heal by not being in the same room as the ones sent to them, would never do this distance one size fits all online 'healing' either
We would never Disrespect another that way.
If I can't be in the same room with you don't Respect you enough to even be in your presence personally then I got no Business teaching healing delivering any of life's messages to you!
Perhaps a non-clinical definition---YET SO VERY REAL! Any person who is intuitive (which empaths are)---and uses their intuition to exploit, manipulate, and control others, FOR THE DELIBERATE, CALCULATED PURPOSE OF HARMING THEM---is a dark empath, in my book. I was raised by such a (psychotic) person and I know it is VERY real! I'm glad you have made this video to make people aware of this fact!
Excellent take. I’ve noticed the fake empathy, empathy towards concepts but none for real people. And the contempt: oh my… “I’m an empath and better than you!” 🤦🏻♂️ Yes, the simmering violence. Either words or constant “ticking time bomb”. Great video 👍🏼
you love the dumb bumper sticker sayings like "ticking time bomb"
I was only today reflecting on the very idea of the Narcissitic 'Slight' in the context of the fragile N - how it forms and how it manifests. In my experience when these particular folks are 'slighted' they tend to find ways to mete out punishments - almost under the radar.
Its amazing how important it is to take notice of the feelings you get when these weird covert attacks come upon you. They can be --- and often are so subtle and so inverted as to appear to be generosities granted to you by virtue of their - well - 'Virtue' really .
But you will always have a gut sense of dissonance. Something will feel 'off' and the memory of that moment will remain - like a lingering odor in your emotional memory - and in my case often a very vivid recollection of the setting for whatever is meted out in covert vengeance. The dissonance for me was usually born out of witnessing the proffered pseudo-care and feeling like I'd just been robbed or violated at the same time.. A very odd but very distinctive feeling, but consistent across more than a few people of this ilk I had in my life.
An example of the very common under the radar attack in the form of narc-jargon is for a fake apology using the words..."I'm sorry you feel that way'". The first time I heard those words and watched them pass across the gnashers of people who slid them out at me like a verse from some narc bible, I remember the sensations I felt. I had no mind or logic to apply to the words or the meaning - just a sensation of - I suppose - dissonance. I heard the word 'sorry' and 'feel' and then experienced a weird sensation of shame and blame coming through me. Staying on the lookout for those sensations has become my baseline MO with all humans now. Glad to report I am now invincible!
When you gather and collect those veritable time warps of very peculiar ways in which these people get their daggers out under the table at you, it becomes a really obvious, and frankly tragic condition of conduct to behold.
Once you see that picture of dots of experience all joined up, there is a magnitude of relief and growth that is truly liberating.
Listening to this little video warms the heart of my knowing of the skills and resources I now have. Because I put in the hard graft to look for the dots to draw that true picture more times now than I would be comfortable sharing. But hey - Never too late for freedom I say!
I say with these people - collect some dots of sensation to form a map which is sure to help you navigate a way out of that trap! You might not be able to explain the sensations yet but when you have collected a few you start to see patterns emerge, and then you see it is really not about you at all. And there - is your exit strategy right there!
Just my very long tuppence ha'penny worth. :) The topic is very current for me atm.
I'm not ashamed NOT to "just grey rock it" as advised in these NPD recovery circles. It's exactly that "under-the-radar" attack you thankfully articulate that way. Same here!@ "I'm sorry you feel" this way is always something I've heard from one of the most narcissistic people I've ever known in my life, my Mom! It's such an incredibly dismissive statement at a moment that it should not be said yet it's so under-the-radar that it makes anyone who complains about it look like they're oversensitive or "crazy" when they're portraying it to a newly recruited gain of fellow soulless ghouls.
The "dark empath" level? It almost sounds like a shaming term towards enpaths who have had enough, yet a defensive for narcs that should have been thrown out a long time ago.
I have been watching these narcissism channels for years and finally got rid of a few that were caused me trouble in my life. Anyhow, this darkened path term is something that just doesn't make sense to me and it sounds like it's causing more confusion than clarity.
( I have not heard Richard Brandon's opinion yet on it because I'm only a minute into the video, but having learned the "DARK EMPATH" term, having at least see one other video like this with that term, I think it's overcomplicating something that we had down simple
Perceptive.
Or intuitive, rather.
Strikes a chord.
Well done btw.
This new perspective helps me see my ex and his family in a little different lights, and has brought a few things to my attention..about them, and myself as well. 🤔🤔🤔
Thank you for time and thoughts Richard. ❤👏
0:42 I cannot relate more, I'm highly empathic but completely in a cognitive way, I don't really care for them and feel their emotions but I understand what they are going through, and I crave attention but I'm socially awkward and kind of anxious but I get along and sometimes dominate and sometimes don't
I could consider myself a Dark Empath. its a philosophical distinction, in my opinion. Calling this hidden narcissism is a massive copout. There is no clinical definition for being an "Empath". The term is relatively modern. The closest thing imo would be a HSP (highly sensitive person, or somone with mirror-touch synesthesia) who has no moral quandries about breaking the "rules". I have been tormented by narcissists my entire life. I have waffled between understanding, compassion, and avoidance as a solution to this seemingly innate issue in the human condition. I have come to the ongoing conclusion that I hate them, they are mental parasites, and are worthy of the disgust most people rightfully assign them. The moment i detect any sort of narcissism, i simply stop giving a fuck. As far as i am concerned you are my enemy. I dont go out of my way to torment these insecure broken souls, but i absolutely will if i am provoked. I know i am absolutely flawed but this is how i feel. The whole topic is a bit of a clickbaity way of dealing with the natural, rational reaction to our innately narcissistic society.
Exactly!
I'm glad you said that!
You just brilliantly covered an Encyclopedia abridged of how exactly how I feel and deal with it too. The ONLY WAY to beat a psycho is to be a better psychopath back at them essentially, indeed! It's exactly where I should be because I don't like my kindness being taken for weakness and I get pretty mean if someone's trying to mess with me too. Beer cheers to all others who relate too! (Now I will go back to being my naturally peaceful self... but I never could have gotten there if I didn't start fighting back and doing just what you're saying myself!)
the "narcissism" thing felt so shoe horned in. Not every single human is a damn narcissist. Loved the rest of your statement as well. We live in a fake victim culture because being a victim makes you a celebrity and gives you special social protection. Look at scumbag Amber Heard, fake victim, secretly a physical abuser of Johnny Depp and 90% of society sided with the poor little female at first. Plenty of lgbt act like terrorists, threatening and bullying ppl while have the protection of a fake victim. Fake victim narcissists and their 1000 selfies can burn for all I care.
On point.. I'm the same. I have plenty of empathy for others, but when I get crossed by someone, I get more than even, especially when it comes to narcissists they seem to gravitate towards me only to be knocked down a peg or two.
I agree with you on this Richard. Thank you for your take on this type.
Great video - thank you! Your description of dark empaths reminds me of (some) common/core traits found in family annihilators. A truly terrifying bunch… covert narcissists with a few sadistic, extra dark twists. Awesome.
I think this is me except the physical violence. Lots of shame, more ego than we let on, displaced resentment, we overthink everything, passive aggressive, emotionally numb. It’s hard to find a balanced way to place boundaries or be assertive. We do share some traits with covert narcissist but I don’t think we manipulate the way narcissists do.
Manipulation is just a tool, not a narcissistic trait. You can definitely be on the Cluster-B spectrum although you don't use manipulation as a tool.
I hope you will check what is really going on with you. The underlying cause of your struggles can be many things, from undiagnosed ADHD or autism, to some form of personality disorder or trauma related issues.
Wish you the best.
A Dark empath is narcissistic and they have psychopathy traits . If you don’t have that then you’re not one . Dark empaths are from the dark triad but not the same as the traditional dark triad .
Thank you Richard for all this knowledge that you bring to us
Thanks to your precise explanation, Richard, I'm now able to figure out the entity of my former partner. This was the reason why it's so difficult to overcome the trauma .
Thank you for this informational video. Lets focus on good traits and catch and elimante dark traits in ourselves and others!
Profound insight Richard, many thanks 😊 👍💟
Beyond excited to watch!
🔥❤️🙏
The thing that gets me is the whole "we are perfect and they are the one with the faults that we should be worried about". No one is perfect and I can't help but see myself in any "bad" traits people reel off about others. BUT I feel thats quite healthy. If I'm conscious of how I may be detrimental towards others I feel I'm less likely to subconsciously be a hinderance to others. YES I'm not perfect but at least that gives me the scope for improvement individually. I do aim and want the best. Sorry if this comes off as defensive, I'm trying to learn :)
Insightful. Underrated comment. 👍🏼
Fantastic , clear and accurate explanation of dark empath! 👍🎊🎉
Thank God. I avoid attention. Thank you as always Richard!
OMG. Ritchie, you are getting more practical yet intuitive every year! I am now working with someone,a female, with these traits. We call her " Just Christine". She can be quite cruel ...And those of us who know her past imperfections just blow her off. But, her EMOTIONAL DAMAGE ( see Asian comedian LOL) to the young generation is very destructive. A combo of Eeyore and verbal cruelty. Bizarre.
Thank you very much for your content, particularly thsi one. Son of two covert narcissists, ex huspand of a full blown narcissist, I know see that i am a dark empath ( including covert narcissist ) , i realize i have been like that my whole adult life and i curiously feel pride and shame to it. 3 years ago i found out (MBTI) that i am an INFJ, which was a great relief as i started to understand why i was the way i am, not fitting anywhwere. Now with this new acknowledgment i can finally identify what's deeply wrong in myself, instead of just being able to spot narcissists miles away and go for the hunt. It's weird, complicated, stormy in my brain but your words help getting clues about that infernal puzzle. Thank you, i will keep watching you.
As per usual you reveal amazing insight
Can't wait!!
As a recipient of ongiong narcissistic abuse (co-parent), I can identify with at least two aspects of the dark empath, being emotionally detached, hypervigilent at mapping people, albeit signs of PTSD as well. I've often asked myself objectively how many aspects of fragile narcissism I display. These lines often become blurred when one is consistently on the receiving end of such behaviour. I'd love to see more of your insights on how to deal with narcissistic abuse when in a co-parenting dynamic or unable to extrapolate oneself completely, although much of your content has addressed that already. As always, thank you 🙏
Agreed. A narcissistic mother can potentially set you up for a habit of grey walling others and being in a protective mode where you’re afraid of rejection and taking initiative and you become incredibly judgmental of others. I realized I was doing things for others with the subconscious expectation of getting something in return like a twisted reward system. You’re right about the lines being blurred.
Yes, the anger and vengeance part is spot on
Very interesting. Sounds like an additional ( albeit much less prevalent ) flavor of Narcissistic expression that shares a much greater degree of overlap with ASPD / Psychopathy.
I love Richards's British accent. I also like his broad vocabulary. Richard also comes across as a very down to earth person, which is a characteristic that I like most about him.
The key word is * comes across. Don’t judge before you know someone personally.
My mom was a covert narcissist and I have some but not all of these traits. The rage I experience, if I do experience it, is typically a slow burn or internalized disappointment more than anything else. It's hard to avoid becoming what's been imprinted on me. Even earnest attempts feel like deceptions to me.
My mums a covert to and I cannot wait to never speak to her again she’s nothing but poison
@@templeguide556 one day she will be gone and you'll feel better. Then, maybe a month or a year down the line, you'll find yourself with an idea or an experience you should share with her. But she'll be gone.
I have my issues with my late mother but i also still love and miss her.
@@The_Kiosk I need to start my life over again. What lead me to Richard’s channel is the same thing that lead me to destroy my own life. Btw Grannon is cluster b. Bpd or narcissist I don’t know, but he’s toxic.
My god this makes things so clear.
i agree 100%. My ageing parent is a covert N and fits the bill 100% for DE. The minute you started explaining the latter......i recognised them totally.
When I was growing up, I was hyper-empathetic. Occasionally to my own detriment, I was sensitive to the feelings (or my perception of them) of others. One time a significantly smaller boy who I’d just met became very aggressive toward me during a little ball game. The only way to stop it was to punish his aggression with some of my own, which I did with great discomfort and reluctance. But I tolerated his violence toward me much longer than I wanted to.
A few years ago I tried to understand this part of my nature, and I stumbled upon the term “empath”.
But pursuing the term only led to a bunch of self-satisfied airheads going on about their psychic-like super power.
I’m glad to see Mr. Grannon bringing it up.
A person like this - their vengeance doesn’t come in a demonstrative way but they would do things like cheat on you and feel justified in doing it and wanting to hurt you in that “covert” way that you will never know, and carrying on lying in a way they know they have an up on you and getting vengeance on you, and you will NEVER know. Their ultimate vengeance to you for injustices they perceive, and it is brutal.
Maybe with a normal narcissist you might hear a reason why that gets blurred out in a rage, with these covert narcissists it a mind boggling poisoning you WILL NEVER KNOW OR UNDERSTAND. Betrayal trauma from that is BRUTAL. Leaves one UTTERLY confused. Will never know what really happened or why.
I have the ability to lead them on a dead end street where I've literally watched their heads spin as in the movie The Exorcist. I get them squirming without even trying. The confrontation of the truth mixed with lies and manipulation is something to behold.
I am so fascinated with this because I am a dark empath; not only this, but I recognize now that I AM this way because (of course) of my mother. My mother was much more covert in her dark empath traits; she "presented" better, if that makes sense. Mine are almost entirely in my head; they are "in potentia." But I do know this: I do not want to be like that evil person, so while learning about this term "dark empath" fills me with dismay, because I am *finally* (trust me, I've been torturing myself with "what manner of fucked up thing am I?" for DECADES, now) seeing what I am, and... I don't like it at all... I also feel a sense of relief for having a term for it. It's alarming to me, also, that it seems like the psychotherapy industry treats "dark empaths" as a kind of bogeyman. From what I can see, narcissism, psychopathy, sociopathy -- these are all just normal human variation, right? Some people are more self-centered than others, but that, by itself is not unusual. And similarly, some people are able to "disconnect" from feeling the suffering from others... but, that's not unusual, either. Anyone with more than a superficial knowledge of psychopathy knows that there's a big difference between being able to take a beat between seeing someone else suffering, and feeling that suffering (psychopathy). Similarly, anyone with more than a superficial knowledge of sociopathy knows that EVERYONE feels schadenfreude from time to time, but that's a far cry from pulling the legs off insects, or sadistic rape/torture/murders. Meaning, that -- if you twist all of us enough, we can "go dark." The Milgram Experiment showed that. And empathy is the same... sometimes we call it "emotional intelligence" but it's the same thing; some people are just better at it than others. Empathy is just sociopathy's dark twin -- it feels the pain of others and wants to make it stop; sociopathy is feeling the pain and *liking it*. Again, all spectrums, all normal human variation!
So why would it scare anyone, let alone trained professionals, that there are people who are "exceptional" in all of these spectrums? When I had an IQ of 173 measured, and I learned what that meant (including the history of racism and sexism in the Stanford-Binet scale that IQ was on), I rapidly came to the conclusion that it just meant... "more." More of all the same stuff that makes us human: great compassion and empathy, but also the capacity for immense cruelty -- hurting others simply because it *felt good*. Similarly, it seems like anything I put my hand to -- especially things that take *rational thought* -- I just seem to effortlessly master. Whereas things that take more... soft skills? Like patience and discipline -- you know, like proving any of this on paper ;) -- those I suck donkey dong at, because, I think, I was never basically forced to develop these abilities. I could coast by on being "smart." But if my family has a STRONG shared trauma history of narcissim, psychopathy, sociopathy, but also deep, "high IQ-based empathy"... I don't know how else to describe my folks! And my entire life has felt like a struggle to keep those traits in me from "going dark" and really starting to hurt people. But still, simply normal human variation. High IQ simply means "more" -- so apparently, that means... "dark empath," now?
In a bygone age, we used to just use words like "evil," but it seems we've lost that courage. I mean, that word is wrong, too; I am simply "more." But -- "evil" feels easier to memorize than "dark empath."
AWESOME VIDEO.
I feel like I tick a lot of these boxes internally, but I'm not okay with hurting people to get what I want.
Nurses are some of the darkest empaths on the planet. At least that was my experience before I quit the profession. I was frequently in a state of compassion fatigue for over a decade working as a long term care nurse-probably bc I lacked boundaries, and didn’t have the ability to detach like the other nurses I worked with. Granted, I became one to try to get my mom’s approval and validation-all for the wrong reasons of course. lol.
Nurses, however, are not always but quite frequently can be…strange-a weird concoction of all the wrong stuff.
The person I am now in no contact with displayed a lot of this.....but I just let it go at the time. ...BIG mistake on my part.... but I know now. Thanks again for the content
Great video
Thanks Richard 👍🏻
I feel like I went through all of this exactly. He was truly a miserable, unhappy, as$ole. Only cared about what people thought of him in public.
Yes, that sounds exactly like the covert narcissism disorder I am trying to help here. The terrible car ride home can represent frustration at whatever social event we had used to attend.
And also too, I really do not think as highly of anyone at the event, I feel like the covert narcissist may just be wasting their time.
See I really think I kinda fit into this “dark empath” category, but I’ve seen people say it’s more so sociopathy. I myself have actually been called a sociopath multiple times lol, but tbh it might be similar but different with each person who’s a “dark empath”. I think some could display very clear covert narcissist tendencies, while others (like myself) don’t. I relate so much to this besides the hypersensitive to criticism, extreme emotional rage outbursts, and being very critical of myself. Some times I have talked bad about myself to gage peoples reactions and to pull sympathy, but I’ve never actually felt that way about myself. I’ve also definitely fished for compliments before and then been confused on why someone didn’t compliment me the way I imagined them to; but i disregard it as something being wrong with them instead of internalizing it. But overall I’ve seen some people even disregard the existence of dark empath and just call us high functioning sociopaths; but then again, all sociopaths are narcissist.
Sometimes we have to be the grey rock though. That may come across as detachment when it's really a coping strategy. Anyone who has inadvertently become the "agony aunt" in the relationship knows what I mean.
This explains the blind door I was hit with after I ended my first relationship. Everything you said checks off the list of what I saw. I didn’t quite understand it as narcissism cuz I grew up with a grandiose narcissistic dad, and he is much more of the stereotypical one! So I didn’t even know that to there were the sneaky little bitches like that 🤣
Wow beautiful thumbnail👍👌🙋♀️
Shockingly accurate. Profoundly grateful I am, Richard. I need to schedule major surgery and I need to have it done when my covert, fragile narcissist a.k.a husband is out of town. I don’t feel safe while injured, in need of assistance because his cold rage is a serious threat … simmering rage barely contained of a little boy who was exploited by his mother, a narcissist who used to take him to bed when her spouse was out of town. The little boy slept with his mommy to comfort her. She never own a night gown in her life and was proud of it. And her son never had a childhood he deserved. He will not go to therapy. I am will no longer be trying to save him. I know I need to run, but I got to repair my knee joint first. God help all who have been in relationship functioning as a punching pillow to their spouses. Seemingly calm but actually enraged… they loose control over their passive aggressive impulses when they perceive you as someone who does not deliver the care the feel entitled to. I fell badly 6 weeks ago and knew I broke my spine, asked him to take me to ER. Nope. Ambulance. No. If I stay I will die. Thanks Richard❤
@Er3n P0zv0lz7c please hang in there and put your trust in a higher power! I will pray for you. Please have a Blessed Day!
I just finally left my abusive husband after 8 years. I couldn’t decide if he was a narcissist or not because I knew he had empathy but realized it is very limited. I have seen him show empathy so I took him back for a few months. His abuse got so bad I decided it didn’t matter if he had it or not. I know that he will not take care of my needs. I had a total knee replacement a few years ago. The care you will need afterward will require to have someone there to CARE for you and NOT threaten you! I couldn’t tell you how many times I hobbled on my walker to the car and drove before I was released just to get away from him. It is a very devastatingly vulnerable existence when your reality is fear and pain. It is better to be alone. GET OUT NOW!! Surgery or not they will abuse you and not care if you are suffering and suffer you will do!
@@k.c.sunshine1934 thank you. This means so much to me, because I am hurting🙏🫶
@@melissahutton2586 thank you for the dose of reality. You are so right it does not matter what he “ is or not.” What matters is he cannot resist the impulse to hurt me.
Omg , I wish I could help you , knee ops slow you down and are painfull , make sure you come out of hospital with some pain killers foe a few days till you can get some from your docs , my friend ran out due to her own doctors reluctance to prescribe them , what a monster he is , he may be damaged goods but it’s not your job to fix him , I do hope you have a friend or neighbour to help you , best wishes xxx
Wednesday Addams type - can get into someone's head to dissect and deal with them. Possibly they only undo toxic people who deserve it as they will just ignore anyone who doesn't cross them.
Oh no!! This is me!! Im a classic C U Next Tuesday.. it's strange hearing this familiar description in third person and being this in first person... oh well! The more aware we become of ourselves more I can behave more civilly LOL
Yes. Thank you
I was about to ask if dark empath were actually borderline and this video answered my question. Borderline have empathy but their emotional disregulation push them to act out in any sign of threats and makes people walk on eggshells around them.
Thanks 👍😊
@wrongchannel111
😁❣️
Thank you been waiting for the last twist!
Ive been delusional.
we all have demons and they do hoover. Wouldn’t say you were possessed.
🙏Health..Hope life improves.
Dark empath usually have personality traits of bpd . They enjoy criticising people and get confused people with somebody who hurt them in the past.
Thank you
You just described my sister-in-law.
It’s tough as some people like Anita morjanis whole life for the last 16 years has been about how she literally died for a short time from end stage cancer but came back and within 3 weeks completely healed no tumours no cancer and she’s an empath . One of her books is called sensitive is new strong . I agree it’s used too much but there’s no doubt that there are such folk . It’s trying ti understand our own feelings and emotions that’s hard . I need sanity and I need grounded material.
This sounds like me but I dont rely on anyone else for my own emotional regulation. I am extremely empathetic but I dont show it or when I do, people tend to think I am being cold. When I say things like "Dont do for someone what they can do for themself" I think I am encouraging someone that they can do it and they arent as feeble as they think but others see it as callousness. I do have an affinity for the morbid which I do tend to comment on for shock factor. I can also relate with many struggles in life so its also a way for me to cope and process my emotions. I try to not be too social because I say a lot of controversial and thought provoking things that people arent ready to hear so its better to friends in small doses. I would love to find a challenge to my intellect...
The most dangerous ones are the best at hiding their anger, until you can't understand how you got hit from all sides. Mine enjoyed brutalizing me thru gang stalking for 3 stolen decades. When gang stalking targets say they are targeted, the best thing you can do is not dismiss them out of hand OR WORSE, "teach" them thru yet MORE cruelty. CRUELTY DOESN'T MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.
Those people are freaking terrifying, because one moment, they would seems like your best friend, and next moment, they are out for blood and would attempt to do a full scale character assassination on you. You have absolutely no idea why this person do it.
Isn’t hypervigilance as a wired “safety” alarm from trauma really what an empath is? For example: being hyper aware of tone, body language and words that your brain trained you for to be aware of to avoid danger. That’s if you we’re traumatised as a youth. I am annoying aware of others emotions, I suppose as a trigger warning, but I don’t feel that I really know what their emotions are. That I’m almost tricked into thinking I’m an “empath” (I think it’s a bullshit term). It actually clouds judgment.
I asked a very attractive girl on some dates and she was a complete dark empath. She backstabbed me, was a pathological liar, and was gaslighting me. She was entitled to bully me because she was an attractive girl and she wasn’t attracted to me as she was to others.
This sounds like my person. Extreme off-the-scale narcissism. Grandiose delusions. He SAYS he's "an empath" and SAYS he "literally has no ego."
Ty.
How can I stop these delusions (more like day dreams)
I am tired of feeling this way. (The cycle you mentioned)
I don't feel like I am going anywhere.
I honestly don't want to hurt others (in fact I really wish for fullfiling relationships), but I also can't take a joke.
Tired of Trying to be Perfect.
Tired of daydreaming most of the time, along with music.
Tired of seeing myself waste months together dreaming about the future.
(And then I will do this & then I will do that)
I feel so stupid😢😢😢😢
It's humiliating. I feel like nobody respects me. And I hate myself for that.
My father probably has the similar problem.
Don't get me wrong; he is very competent.
He has sacrificed a lot of things for us. He is a great person, except when he looses his shit. Usually after someone says something. Then it's unbearable and really scary.
He probably doesn't understand this in the moment. But then guilt soon takes over & he usually says sorry by giving gifts.
Same with me. I can't take any criticism. I don't know why. I don't know where it started.
But I will definitely tell you, even if I am cold and avoidant,
In reality, it is so so incredibly painful to not be able to make someone you love happy.
I hate to feel this inadequate all the time.
I feel I need to Re-Learn how to have conversations.
Thank you for the video. 🙏
I really believe that it’s a spectrum. And Everyone has these good & bad traits that fluctuate during different times. I’ve even noticed these traits come out in me when I dealt with a narcissistic relationship recently … some kind of covert narcissistic reactive abuse .. it was very strange. I recognized this toxicity and knew to leave the relationship.
I do find when in large organized groups there are narcissists and people who are flying monkeys for them or just brush off bad behavior it's just them we all have faults.
Goodness...Another creature for the charm farm!
Unfortunately the only think dark about me is my humour. My anger can be fairly dark..but it always passes
Agreed 💯% Can't help what I am.💀
Anyone who calls themselves an 'empath' is essentially bragging, humble brag or not. It's a way of signalling one's supposed uniqueness, so there's a red flag right away.
True Empaths are very genuine and compassionate people 💫💫
@Flower Power True 'empaths', whatever that means, wouldn't need to signal to others that they're an empath - they would just be, and not refer to themselves in those terms online.
@@pomodrum3208 Exactly. It’s so cringey
It's not. Some people might use it that way, but others might just be attempting to explain their experience. Don't assume everyone is the same.
@Natalie Butler How does one 'experience' being an empath as opposed to, say, a run of the mill person with a high degree of empathy? It's just a buzzword, and I suggest that any person who waves a buzzword around as a distinct identity at least has some issues if not narcissistic.
There is a more ‘spiritual’ term I think we are all talking about. Those that identify as an ‘empath’ spiritually speaking. That’s different then talking about how empathic you are I think
Omg that sounds exactly like me
Hi. Are you a licensed psychologist? I’m curious how you can diagnose people because I’m in school learning about this stuff and I know from my own abusive experiences that there are so many complexities to these personality disorders and the victims of the disorders - especially the children who were raised by people who suffer from NPD. Your five traits describes me - kind of. But I don’t suffer from NPD. I was raised by a narcissistic mother and you can bet I can map people and read the room. It’s a survival skill, and trauma response. I’m much better at it now that I’ve figured out what was going on. Took me decades to stumble across what was happening.
I have attracted narcissists into my life due to being raised without boundaries, and it’s been hell. I’ve learned a lot and am now educating myself more on this subject because it is complicated. This is the C, in C-PTSD. I do not claim to be free of narcissistic traits based on my role model, but I work on my shadows. I work on myself.
The “misfit” part, the antisocial desiring closeness can be explained from the abused perspective as well. It’s hard to be vulnerable when you’ve been abused by a narcissist. Also hard to understand why you feel so bad about yourself when you don’t understand narcissism. Self isolation is a trauma response.
I can also label your described “dark empath” as “co-dependent” as well except for the grandiosity. The narcissist NPD, and co-dependent or “empath” are both raised / abused by narcissists and both have difficulties. It’s a cycle of abuse often intergenerational that takes awareness, courage and willingness for the long road of work to break the cycle and Re parent oneself. Interesting video, and it is a good conversation.
@"Rita Makita" thank you for your question. I have the same question.
I'm an INFJ with a wounded heart and when I am around what I call "dark emotional" environments of under-handed envy, control, hatred, entitlement, then I gradually become "dark empath" myself. I am learning to reconnect with my "True Self" after these bad experiences.
Note that I have been professionally diagnosed as having "Avoidant Personality Disorder" (Cluster-C). This AvPD is characterized as "fear based" bias in interpreting the world; the difference with Cluster-B is subtle at times when observed from outside observers. Having said that, I am sure that I have both "Emotional Empathy" and "Empathic Concern" because of feedback from trusted friends and acquaintances. Also, my older sister witnessed those two traits in me from a very young age.
Note in the literature that even experts mistake AvPD for NPD - as you said - "there are so many complexities to these personality disorders and the victims of the disorders." I agree 100% with that claim and present my situation for discussion.
Try living your life instead of obsessing over diagnoses & making your labels your identity. Psychology is a pseudoscience, completely subjective and the DSM was constructed by a small group of men for insurance purposes, controlled by money, and corrupt, like every other system.
I genuinely don't crave attention. I can map myself just fine. Not detached, just selective with where I invest emotional energy. I don't exploit but can be cruel if I'm pushed to that point. I'm not a narcissist and don't feel entitled and don't feel superior to anyone lol. We're just able to disarm narcissists' because we're perceptive.
Oooh ya, my rage is very intense and I WILL go after some one I see hurting a child or animal. Those two things will make me loose my self control if my screaming and verbal reaction don’t stop it. Those are the two cases where learning not to hit..goes out the window, and I will get in harms way to protect kids especially..animals are a case by case situation. I’m not stupid..so not gonna take on a bear to save my dog or any thing crazy 😂…..sorry puppies 😂 but from another human hurting them, gloves would come off at that point….and I’m short with a fast jab 😂😂😂😂
Also another reason I isolate 😂😂 some people make me question my self …..”I’m old, and don’t work now..do I care if I have an assault record 🤔 “
🤪🤣🤣🤣🤣
Probably better to just stay home 😂😂
Every human is prone to anger and emotional outbursts. Everyone. And we can all at times get offended more easily than others when some emotional deregulation takes hold which again is just normal human behaviour unless it’s unbounded and a lot of the time. This dark empath is not a diagnosis Richard you know that it’s click bait and your have so so much knowledge you kindly share ( does that remark enrage you or make you passively snigger ) . Anger. Come on mate keep the serious work you do posting please it’s beneficial for many and this is a bit below your pay grade really.
Yep but it’s deliberate to piss people off cause he gets supply from upsetting people. He knows angry people empaths will come and comment that’s why he does it.
Mon père correspondait à ce portrait, machiavélique, violent avec ma mère, narcissique pathologique, mais paradoxalement un bon père pour moi autant qu’il pouvait l’être, il m’a toujours valorisée ce qui m’a permis de me construire avec un ego sain. Il avait des rêves pour moi, ceux qu’il n’a pas pu réaliser pour lui même, il a réussi à me transmettre ses passions que j’ai réalisé dans le bonheur et une empathie saine. Les narcissiques sombres font beaucoup de mal autour d’eux mais parfois, peut être malgré eux, peuvent réaliser des choses positives. Aujourd’hui je suis professeur, j’aime ma profession, j’aime transmettre des connaissances et j’aime voir mes élèves évoluer et voler de leurs propres ailes.
Empath absorbs energy.
i think im still more of a sigma male but this sounds like a good backup personality in case i need it
I miss learning about avatars and how to combat my internal critic. They use rage to start malignant complaints and lying about you.
Well now, seems I commented too soon. There is too much love in me for rage and aggression. Also, I did learn something from a narcissist, The Platinum Rule (better than the golden rule) Treat someone how They want to be treated not how you want to be treated because not everyone wants the same treatment as you. For example, I dont like concessions, I like more of a challenge but most people like the easy way. So why would I treat them how I want to be treated instead of how they want? The Platinum Rule makes more sense to me.
I'm probably somewhere between 50 to 70% Dark Empathic. There's a few things this guy mentions that I'm definitely not. The Empath side of me, is proof that I can have a heart for people when I really want to, I just choose not to at least half of the time. Honestly I don't know why some think it's worse than being a psycho or sociopath. At least I have a heart. That should count for something. We live in a crazy corrupt clown world, & many times we have to do the "darker" things (like caring less) to survive.
Damn, thought I knew em all.
It is all in their heads. Ha ha. I just want to have fun and just keep dancing every day.
If/ When The Empath's Voice Especially about the abuse is Stolen... and suppression is forced... Watch Out🔥🤬🔥 they will hurt you when your guard is down. 😖
This is where im at
I assume if someone goes around boasting to everyone, they're an empath, then it's a pretty good sign they're dark.
Agree. I also think its the Covert narcissist.
Perhaps trait 5 should be listed as the FIRST TRAIT since it is really a DEFINING QUALITY for this type. Because life can be pretty frustrating and with ptsd and all sorts of bs that happens in life one can watch this video and start thinking, oh no, on top of everything else am i going to find out I'm a dark frikkin empath TOO? People are such consumers, OR just into their own lives so it is possible that away from the people you KNOW and are close to, everything and everyone feels so shallow that you just want to dissolve when in groups, so one COULD then ask yourself is it ME ??? when you do not get anything out of being around people. But if you lead with that they hurt and manipulate people then one can say maybe im just a grey non- empath for feeling enraged at yet ANOTHER cashier who is blind to your arrival and helps the people who arrive AFTER you, or the other unbelievably fucked occurences that messcup months of your life.
🤔 so maybe the ex was a covert narc with dark empath tendencies…I’m so confused with the terminology but I can definitely relate to the vengefulness & having to walk on egg shells around the ex 😰😟
I think my ex malignant narcissist may be cyberstalking me. He lived with a hidden fiancé, & was my Artist Manager. I’m a singer/songwriter.
Thank you, eggshells,..in a nutshell.
Have you seen the "You" series on Netflix? Is the main charakter an NPD or a psychopath? Cause he is poetic, lives in shared fantasy, and after idealisation phase (love bombing) "love of my life" devalues the women, and then he kills them. Could be both, really well illustrated..
Its wrong. Its wrong its wrong. A dark empath is not an *abusive* personality. I cannot stress this enough. They are a niche product of an injust society. Dark empaths have learned soon in their lives that psychopaths, narcissists and machiavellians have a natural advantage over non-dark triad members. They consider this a great problem, which they aim to fix. A dark empath is emotionally detached from you if he has determined somebody to be *abusive* in nature. They care very much about people they have determined to be of good intentions. But as soon as they find another dark triad member, they unleash everything they mimic from other dark triad members of their past. They are literally the cops of the dark triad. By bumping all 3 dark personality traits to the brim they gain the upper hand over the bad members of the dark triad.
Exactly. This video is completely off.
interesting