For me as a half and half German-American, we would travel to Germany and visit family nearly every year. I never had a culture shock because I lived both cultures constantly. Then on high school I took German class so I could better talk to my family in Germany. And German grammar is hard. It brought a whole new meaning to the term "grammar nazi." Then at the end of my high school career our German class took a trip around Germany. what was different about this trip to Germany was that I got to act as the observer and see people my age who had never left our home state of Michigan, let alone fly on a plane to a whole other country. So even though I was a fellow student, I was also part tour guide. And our tour was by bus, so there were always stops at gas stations where we filled up on snacks while our drive filled up the gas. Introducing American teenagers, and some of their parents who came along to the different chocolates, and that Haribo makes a lot more than just plain ol' gummy bears, to the delicious nectar that is Apfelschorle. My favorite. I almost felt like a wildlife photographer narrating one of those nature shows. "And here we see the American discovering the chocolate Kinder Eier. See how the open the prize with new found wonder." Stuff like that. But it also renewed my love for everything German. especially food. Such as schnitzel. A typical normal meal my mom always made at least once a month at home. But watching my fellow students gush over how yummy it was while they are it for the first time made me think "They're right. It is yummy. I could never ever live without Schnizel." And so I savored every bite along side my fellow students. And then I even felt touched when we got ready to go back home to the US, and many of the American students didn't want to go back home to the US. They had grown to love Germanyjust as much as me. Usually my sister and I were the only ones to fuss over not wanting to return home. I thought my fellow students would miss fast food and super sized soda. But no. They had grown to love the sparkling mineral water and Schorles of Germany, and the new world of German cuisine. Taking public transit everywhere, and of course soaking in all the beauty of Germany. It's been 6 years since that trip, and this year I convinced my old German teacher to let me come along as a chaperone on the school trip and got to experience it all over again. And this year's experience is what gave me the inspiration to move to Germany myself, since I am at a point in my life where I have no big responsibilities or obligations holding me down here in Michigan. Don't get me wrong, I like Michigan. Half my family and many of my friends are here. But of course it just doesn't compare to Germany, and ordering from germandeli.com 3 or 4 times a year just doesn't contain my hunger for German food. So I'm hoping in the next 2-3 years I'll have enough saved up to make the move. :)
I just love how your videos have basically only one topic you talk about all the time and never get any less fun to watch. you seem like a truly awesome and fun person!
I'm from Germany and I find your videos very interesting because I learn a lot of things that I think are normal but they're just things we do in Germany!
I really enjoyed watching this! I just moved to Munich 4 months ago from Canada (also for my "Mr. German Man" and to study). I can totally relate to the frustration and confusion that comes with having to re-learn basic day-to-day interactions, but now within the German context and language. It has definitely helped me develop a stronger appreciation for the many millions of people (and the few who are my mother and her family) who came to Canada (and the US!) and needed to start running as soon as they landed. These are people who needed to learn to integrate and support themselves at the same time. I always try to keep in mind that while being new in Europe, we still have had certain privileges and support systems that most migrants do not have. Especially coming from wealthy developed Western countries like Canada and the US, to Germany, a country that shares many of the same cultural norms.. We are very lucky in so many different ways!
I honestly love this video. It's so pure and real, I bet many people can relate and also many who would feel relieved that the stage they might currently be stuck in, will change sooner or later. I also love your mom for saying what she said. Brilliant.
Dana, when I see one of your videos, many thoughts come to mind. One of the most prevailing one is about what your mom must fell and think when she sees one of your video. My guess is that she must be proud and somewhat reassured that everything is alright. As for me, I am having a lot of fun just watching them. Merry Christmas to you and mister "German Man"!
I am German, but I lived in the USA for a year. And I also went through all the stages you described and I kinda anticipated them. What I did not expect was going through more emotionalstages coming back home to Germany again: everything is so great here in Germany - I really miss the US - I wanna travel again. Since then I lived in Peru (5 months) and the UK (7 months). What really changed for me is the people I surround myself with: It's really important that someone understands the intercultural experiences.
+ThruKaileysCamera there is no such thing as "European Culture". We are very numerous and very different countries. Probably one thing we have in common, we have more than just 2 weeks of paid leave per year.
Great video to watch! I'm from NY and I too lived in Prague for 1 year before meeting my Mr. German and moving to Germany (Dresden) ... that was 4 years ago now! I still struggle with the stages sometimes and finding my place here. I was honestly really surprised at how challenging it's been because I really didn't expect to have a tough time adjusting at all! Funny how things work out so differently than expected sometimes ;). Wishing you all the best!
Since more than 20 years, I am visiting my best friend for 4-5 weeks in Australia every second year. Long time I wanted to migrate to Australia, because everything was so much better there. I didn't do it, I felt like I couldn't leave my family behind. I am still in Germany, I was on stage 5 until last summer. Since than I am on stage 6: I am happy not to go. Why? I became a grandmother and happy to see my grand child whenever I like. Eine schöne Adventszeit!
I have been in Germany since 2004 and we will be moving back to Florida after my German husband retires. I went through all of this too. It was hard sometimes to get used to all the differences but I found that Germany is a great place to live. Truly. I am on the border to Holland and Belgium and I find the mix of cultures is eye opening. By the way I miss General Tso's also. I have to get it everytime we go back home to America. I really enjoy your videos, especially the one where you were at Aldi for the first time. I had the same reaction as you.
+Mary Sterck hahaa thanks for the nice comment, Mary! Nice to hear you can relate my experiences. Yeah *sigh* General Tso's chicken! So delicious. Someone commented on this video that they don't understand...you can get chicken at the Chinese places in Germany....no, no, it's not General Tso's :D
I'm about to move to Germany myself, and I'm currently in the "Oh goodness what do I do to get everything to work out?" stage? I haven't moved, so I'm not yet in the "honeymoon" stage, its mostly fighting bureaucracy! Excited for the many stages!
I really like your video! I moved from Australia to Germany 18 months ago and it´s interesting to here an analysis of the emotional stages. I think "confusion" stage never totally goes away, and sometimes I miss the familiarity of living where I grew up. The subtleties of when to use DU and SIE will always pop up now and again as I just don´t have a "feel" for it. Also your point about having to go through the culture shock a second time......... it would happen to some degree just moving WITHIN a European country too, certainly in Germany. We live near Nuremberg and the dialect and culture differs somewhat from around Munich where I lived years ago. thanks, Sarah (using my husband´s account).
Yes, I believe it! Most people don´t realise that Germany was not a unified country until 1870 and therefore that regional differences are very strong. I think many people would identify with being (e.g.) Franconian first, Bavarian second, and German third. My husband says Bavarians have more in common with Austrians than Berliners, for example.
+Johannes Mayrhofer Thanks Sarah! Happy to hear you enjoyed the video and that you could relate to it :) Yes, I definitely know what you mean about the "du" and "Sie" confusion. I still have that as well :) I try my best, but often I'm just not sure! Wish you all the best here in Germany :)
I really liked that Video! When I visited California in 2013, I was so in awe and loved it so much that I still miss it these days. The people who came cross my way were very lovely and nice. And after a month when I was back at home in Berlin is was so sad and felt so judged from the people here. Ok honestly, everyone knows that Berlin is not the friendliest of cities ^^ but it really dumped my mood for quite a while. I think I lost a piece of my heart in San Francisco and I really wanna go back!
That is because the Bay Area has a soul... that is like nothing else in this world. It has districts. The people make it come alive. There is not judgment, it is not pompous, rude or judgmental. It is my hometown. You should come back if it is calling. Did you go to the piers, the boardwalk?
well that even happened to me when I moved to the other side of Germany at age 16. I experienced pretty much the same emotional stages so I guess it does not depend on whether you move across the atlantic or "just" 6 hours away from home. It'll be the same every single time :D
I have lived in Ireland for a year and now I'm back home... Oh when you said "I like them both but differently" I had some tears in my eyes... It's so difficult to have our hearts divided like that... Miss Ireland very much :(
I have never been to another country than germany for more than 4 weeks. but I worked in bavaria for a few month and I am from near the north sea. I even recognized a lot of differences within germany. It must have been very strange and exciting to change the continent.
I'm from Germany and I just discovered your channel! I love every single video of yours! They are so well made and structured! I find it really interesting what people from other countries think about my / the German culture :) lots of love x
I am in New Zealand for 3 month now and I'm deeeep in the 3rd stage. I miss everything from germany. Sometimes there are random pictures of my hometown popping up in my head and I don't know why. Phew, I hope I get over it soon.
+Snorri Snibble I really feel your pain, we all get that, I had the same issues when I moved to britain and it took me about two years to get out of that phase....
+Snorri Snibble I feel for you! That's really hard -- I wish you all the best moving through that stage. Hopefully it doesn't take you too long to get out. Something I found helpful was making a list of the reasons why I wanted to live abroad in Prague/Munich to begin with. Also search your brain really hard and try to find at least a few positive things about being there -- perhaps its beauty or interesting wildlife? Whatever it is you like about the place and your original reasons for WHY you picked it. Then look at that list every morning when you wake up and every evening before going to sleep :) Hope it helps!
+Snorri Snibble If you have the possibility, travel around, see things you would never be able to see in Europe. Also, the Kiwis are the nicest people I have met in the whole world. Show interest in their way of life, it will pay back. Their attitude towards life really made me miss Germany a lot less.. Keep it up, mate :)
I am south Florida too!! I am half French and thinking of moving back to France. I lived there as a child before my parents divorced and my mother and I returned to the States. I am no longer fluent in French, but I am determined to move back to France and regain my fluency back. All of my father's family is still there, so I feel a little more comfortable with the idea of moving and I don't have much culture shock as I go to Europe often. I am graduating law school in the next few months and I'm wondering how I will make that transition in the future. I still want to use my American degree and not waste it, but ideally, I'd like to move back to France some time in the future. I watched a few of your videos, I feel that while it may be best to have a job lined up, I'm totally open with going there and seeing what happens. What's the worst that could happen? It doesn't work out and you return home.anyway, you have a new subbie!
Hello Dana. My English name is Leo. I am from Shanghai, China. (TH-cam is blocked, I have VPN). I moved to Columbia, Missouri in Jan 2013 to pursue my master degree, I studied there for two years. In Jan 2015, I graduated and went back home. Here is my emotional stages of moving. 1. lost and insecure, 2. Gradually adapted life in a small town, 3. Homesick(Actually I missed my parents, not other stuff), 4. Totally loved my life in Columbia, MO. 5. Extremely sad goodbye 6. Cannot tolerate life in Shanghai China, miss Missouri like crazy!!
I think I am on the last stage, after 7 years since I moved to Canada, it is quite right when you described all the stages and best of all is one does not realize any of this until all of them are completed. I love living in Canada (snow, ice and cold included) there are things that I miss from my former country such the landscape and some foods. But when I'm there I miss the order, the peace and the variety of languages and food. Thank you for explain it so well
Thanks for this amazing video. Good to know that I am not alone with those feelings. I moved to America few months ago and totally understand what you're saying in this video. :D
Funny enough I also moved from south Florida (Tampa) to Germany ( Trier ) in 2009. I went through a few other stages because we moved when I was 15 but still very similar it was just more like 1,2,1,2,3,2,3,4,3,4,5,4,5 LOL. My way of having a little piece of America in Europe was by finding friends on the American base and being able to have those few moments with Popeyes and Taco bell, I greatly appreciated that :D I am now studying architecture in Berlin so I've definitely settled but I still have days I would like to move back. Maybe another short visit back will change that. :D P.S. loved this video, definitely relatable :)
+Kiki Chateau hahhaa yes I definitely relate to your fluctuating back and forth in the stages!!! Looking back on it from that point of view, I'd say that in Munich I also moved several times from 4 back to 3 and then to 4 and then to 3 before I ever finally settled into 4 :D And thank you!! Glad to hear you enjoyed the video and could relate to it :)
Hey, Dana, great video. Those stages sound familiar. When I went from Germany to the States for the first time, I wanted to become Americanized so badly and not to be recognized as German as quickly as possible - but somehow I skipped the honeymoon phase. Things were cool in Minnesota, I liked it, but I guess I remained somewhat skeptical of that place. My stages were more like: 1) Curiosity, probing and testing. 2) Depression and disgust (at how a majority of kids behaved in high school) 3) Caving in (and becoming a bit more like those kids ;-) ) 4) Ready to stay in the US for good (but I didn't...) Incidentally, upon returning to Germany to finish Gymnasium, I went exactly through the four prototypical stages. Kulturschock in reverse, I guess :-)
+Lucas Yann Sommer Thanks so much for your nice comment Lucas!! Happy to hear you enjoyed the video and cool that you could relate to it. I'm always so fascinated to hear where people end up for their exchange in the U.S. Studying in Minnesota versus studying where I'm from in South Florida would be very different, I think :) And yes! I definitely know what you're talking about, about that reverse culture shock. I've never moved back to the U.S. since living here, but when I go back for vacation it always takes me time to get used to some things there again :)
+Wanted Adventure Minnesota was great, no doubt. But picture this: senior year class trip, sometime in February. Minnesotan February, that is. We had just gotten over the -40° days. (Incidentally, -40° is great - it's the same in F and C...) So off we go on a 24 hour bus ride into sunnier climes... to Florida. I LOVED Florida. Gators tanning on the roads, tourists tanning on the beaches, Cape Canaveral, Universal Studios, tropical fruit... Going back to MN after a week of sun was horrible. When we arrived, they had just gotten five feet of snow... Springtime in MN lasted about a week. You go from five feet of snow to unbearable heat, humidity, mosqitos and tornadoes in the amount of time it takes to read The Hobbit. Nevertheless, I like Minnesota. I liked it so much that I returned to work as a teaching assistant at a college. This time, there was no culture shock, at all, strangely. I knew what I was into, I guess. I entered on a honeymoon-phase kind of high and never got down from it...
When you said you were surprised to have another culture shock when coming from Prag to Munich, I laughted because I thought: Yes of course you did, they are two very different countries! Americans tend to talk about 'Europe' as if it's one homogenous entity! But then I remembered my stay abroad in England for half a year and how baffled I was that I expirienced culture shock- I'm from Germany. I, too, had thought things would not be too different within Europe. So clearly it's not just an American misconception :)
I remember walking to the supermarket in my homesick faze and reading some graffiti in German and getting so angry at that blatant reminder that I wasnt in America anymore. It was so silly but at the time it was like a punch in the face. But when my semester ended and I went home I kept thinking in German and got confused by a Die Factory. The factory? There are factories everywhere! What makes that one special? I'll never escape the ridicule.
Great video, it's one of my favorites by far! :) I hope to move to Europe someday, so this was really helpful, thanks! Hmm... when I went to study abroad in Scotland for 2 months this summer, I was mostly in phase 1. Things did get a bit frustrating at times (getting lost when travelling, cultural differences...) but I didn't really get into the other phases. Surprisingly, I didn't miss my home in the states at all haha. :)
+ThisIsTheStory Glad to hear you enjoyed the video! Thanks for the nice comment :D That's great that you were able to really enjoy your whole time in Scotland.
Hi Dana! This makes me feel a lot better about what to expect when I actually make the move across the pond. I think I'd also miss the chocolate soy milk, haha!! And your mother seems like a super amazing and supportive person. :) And as a fellow southern floridian, I think I would go through the "missing the shining sun" phase :p I've never seen snow before either, and the thought of the cold and snow actually gives me anxiety!! I mean, I would LOVE to see the snow but I have this irrational fear that I'll visit Germany and somehow freeze to death in the winter because I have no prior experience of snow. Lol, I know, 0 to 100. :'D
+Anny whocares I was picturing this icy, frozen "winter wonderland" :P Thanks for the reality check! Hahaha!!! And it definitely makes me glad I'll still be able to purchase chocolate soymilk! :'D
+Anny whocares tbh, I'm not sure where I'd like to go yet.. I'll have to visit first and make up my mind then. I think that's the best way to do it. And I'll definitely have to get some "heavier" clothing. I think the most of what I wear year round(beside the colder months like jan. or feb.) are shorts, short sun dresses, tank tops, sandals.. lol! :P Actually, contrary to popular belief, we Floridians do get quite a lot of summer thunderstorms and flooding, but year-round rain would definitely take adjusting to...
+Liv Lowry My first few winters here were REALLY snowy (one in Prague and then two in Munich), but then since then there hasn't been SO much snow, but it's still cold for this Florida girl!!!! I've learned it's good to have three "warm levels" of jackets lol A SUPER warm one for the winter, a medium warm one for the late fall and spring, and a beige trench coat for early fall and late spring :)
+Anny whocares lol! Well, I live near the water actually and so do my grandparents but certainly not all of us!! and there are a lot of rural parts of Florida with farms and a lot of green, so it just depends on which part of Florida you're from :)
I'm from Norway and moved to Munich to study in September. My german was pretty good, but holy magoly that university-German is just insanely complicated; it was a shock. It has also taken a looong time to manage all those little things you have to re-learn like groceryshopping etc., but I think I'm finally getting mye head over the water as we say in Norway :) In the process of "adapting" it also really helps to see that I'm not alone having such feelings! Love your videos!
I'm a German exchange student in Norway and came here 3 months ago and already in stage 4. I never wanted to go home even when I had to change family, but I'm already more or less over the stage of confusion :D
I lived in Finland and Norway for some months but I didn't have this stages thing at all. Since I knew my time there is limited I enjoyed every minute. I maybe didn't feel welcome by the people there (since Finns seem to be pretty close, not very talkative etc.; the Norwegian are though) but I felt so home in the area, i loved the nature, the silence...everything. Winter time that was. And I love winter (and Finland has the REAL winters...). Now I plan to go there after I'm finished studying and try to live there for some years and maybe settle down. But now I am studying like 250km away from my home area and I got these feelings of "Heimweh" (nostalgia) from time to time, since I know I will have to stay here for quite many years till I'm finished studying and this area here is not that enjoyable for me (though I have to be thankful I am allowed to study here...)
In August I started a volunteer year in Thailand. Honeymoon state was really great but did not last to long. In September I began to feel a bit lonely. October was horrible. Then on November, I stopped feeling lonely (thanks god). but now, i'm in a state, where i begin to realize that i don' t really like many of the cultural aspects here. the propaganda, the importance of prestige and just looking good, and actually not saying anything negative to someone or not showing negative or too happy emotions. and they dont really like foreigners and are pretty racist. i hope i get out of this kind of state some day cause i don't only want to think bad about Thai culture.
Hey Dana, great video. like you “going deep“, especially because I am from germany. I moved 6 hours in germany from near munich to berlin and I recognized all of the stages by myself. Germany can be so different. I moved back to Bavaria last year and now I feel a little bit trapped in stage 3, because I still miss so much about Berlin/Brandenburg. I think my heart is not 100% Home here. I am learning swedish for quite a few years now and will visit the country next year for a longer period of time - maybe I can make a home there eventually. I will see:)
+Coco Licious thank you! :) Glad you liked the video. Oh yes, I can definitely imagine that moving from Bavaria to Berlin would be a big change. I've visited Berlin several times (and love it as well!), and can easily see huge differences between the two places around every corner. Wish you all the best settling into life back in Bavaria, or figuring out where you're going to go next :D
i'm from germany and when i went to the UK to live with a host family for some time i couldnt stop smiling ! Even though both countries are in europe it felt completely different - but in a good way! I wasn't shocked at all, by nothing! Everything seemed just so pretty and amazing and just better than here in good old germany. I felt like never ever leaving this beautiful land. The food, the drinks, the landscape, the people were all fascinating and i think i remained at stage 1 throughout my time there. I'll especially miss London, its very different from what i've seen of german cities and it totally amazed me! Starbucks is everywhere with far more than 200 shops just in London! Berlin barely has 25! Oxford and Windsor were also worth a visit, the culture and buildings were looking great. Harry Potter was everywhere :p All in all i just love Great Britain and especially England, i'd always go there again! PS: i love how people thought i was french, my accent sounded much like that they said :p
I love your videos. They are so true. Your experiences of living in a different country are very much like mine. Like you I was hit by culture shock twice. my first experience of moving abroad fits the stages very well, albeit they may not be so clearly separated - rather overlapping. (My second experience is completely different - but probably because there are other factors - like moving from the hustling and bustling life of a great City in one country to an agricultural desert in the middle of nowhere in another) . First I moved from Germany to Scotland and lived there for almost 6years - I completely recognize the stages you describe. In the first months I was in love with Glasgow. I know, it sounds weired to say that you are in love with a City - but these were the words I used back then and I had to laugh when you called it the "honeymoon stage". Sometimes I couldn't believe my luck and thought "Wow - I am not just on holiday - I actually LIVE HERE!" I had one great advantage: I was quiet fluent in English and I has a lot of really nice colleagues, a lot of them from different countries and soon I had made some friends there. I also had a wonderful Scottish flatmate who had lived abroad herself for a while so she understood what it would be like for me - she explained how things worked and integrated me in her circle of friends. I got a bicycle and explored the City. Still there was frustration - for example when I had difficulties opening bank accounts because I needed a gas bill as a proof of address- which I would never get because my flat mate paid all the bills, when my bank unexpectedly charged me high fees for services I hadn't asked for. When cycling I discovered the not so nice areas - I had never seen such deprived areas in Germany. When I told my colleagues about these excursions they were shocked and told me not to go there - not safe. In Germany I had always felt safe. September came and the sun would stop shining. Glasgow was a big city, the buildings were brownish grey and I realized that while you could see the green hills from almost everywhere in the city they were too far away to just spontaneously get there if you didn't have a car. In Germany I had spent a lot of time outdoors - whenever I had felt like it, I would go for a run in the fields behind my house or through the forrest. (I guess for me the culture shock was not only moving to a different country but moving from a smaller town to a big City) Oh, and the darkness, the yellow street lights, and the rain!!. October was the rainiest since 1952 and November and December were no better. When I came home after work I soon felt like the walls were closing in on me. My wonderful flatmate had gone abroad for a few month and I was alone in the flat. In Germany I would have gone for a run - in Glasgow in the dark this was not safe - I had been told to stick to the main roads. I missed my pets that I had left back in Germany. I went back to Germany for Christmas and I remeber telling my sister at the end of the holiday that I did not want to go back to Scotland. But when I went back everything was bright somehow. It was still raining every day but I bought flowers for the window sill and I decided to go out on my bicycle again no matter the weather. The days got longer. I had learned that knowing language is not enough to successfully communicate - you need to learn culture. Starting with children's books and TV series that everyone in Britain who was my age had grown up with but that I didn't know - so I read them and watched them - I also watched TV with curiosity. I wanted to learn everything about this country. I remember standing with my eyes closed and absorbing the Scottish accents (in Tescos - the low cost supermarket in "scary" Maryhill as well as in the upmarket Waitrose in the affluent West End). These were the years leading up to the Refere ndum on Scottish inde pendence - I have never in my life been so interested in, worried, and excited about politics before because I truely cared about this country. I wanted to BECOME as Scottish as possible. I had entered the stage where I loved this country with all its upsides and downsides. Now I can live equally happy in Germany and in Scotland - albeit after more than 7years living abroad of which I have spent 6 in Scotland I have to say that my social life is mainly in Glasgow, while my social life in Germany is fading. I still have some very old and good friends in Germany but they all live in different places. When people ask me about Germany, or how Germans think aobut this or that I more and more often have to answer: "I don't know - I haven't live there in a long time." I know that if I lived in Scotland I would always miss Germany and if I lived in Germany I would always miss Scotland. At the moment I miss them both. The second culture shock came when I moved to rural France. No honeymoon stage here. Rural means a village with 900 inhabitants. All old people. Not a single child lives in the village. The people don't talk to me. After having been spoiled by British politeness France seems quite rude. (My British friends laugh when I say that - according to their stereotype Germans are supposed to be very rude). Expats? Maybe I could find some English pensioners who have made their dream of retirment in the French countryside come true. No public transport. The nearest supermarket is 20miles away and you always have some slow tractor or harvesting machine on road in front of you. I speak French, but not as good as English - I am playful and creative in my use of language - and it really annoys me that I cannot express myself in the way that I am used to. It takes a lot of energy to listen, it takes me longer to say what I want to say and I often feel powerless in making my point in meetings at work. At the lunch table I often zone out because there are too many people talking at once. French burocracy is hell. I decided that I won't find out about wether or not there are better stages to come. I have just given up and resigned and packed my car and left for good.
I miss free refills in germany too... although I'm german and never lived abroad :D But I plan to do it eventually. I'm thinking on Scotland or New Zealand
I really admire your courage and your will to learn these two quite difficult languages! Amazing! I could never live in another country (This year I was staying in Québec for three months, but I was so happy, when I came back to Germany)
My experience of acclimatizing to life in Europe, and specifically Germany, was much more boring: I climbed onto cloud 9 and never got down again - I merely got used to being on cloud 9. For a while at first I used to have nighmares, waking up in a cold sweat because I had been dreaming I was back in the USA, but I soon fell asleep again, grinning broadly at the discovery that I was still on the right side of the Atlantic. There are a few things I miss about America - my grandmother's apple pie, for instance - but they're certainly not worth going back for, and probably don't even exist any more (like my grandma and her pies). Of course, German was my minor in college so I could speak the language more or less upon arrival. And another not insignificant point: I grew up in Detroit, which I found to be a very easy place to leave, while in Germany I've lived in Tübingen, Freiburg, and now Marburg, which naturally makes for a very unfair comparison. I did spend a few months in Seattle once, though, and hated nearly every minute, so I guess I really have fully acclimatized to my European cloud.
Balasidis is a greek name though. are you of greek origin? I was impressed of your way of being terrified of being back in the US during your sleep. What made you hate being there so much?
No, I'm not of Greek origin, either. I just never felt at home in the US. When I finally came to Europe I got off the plane and understood for the first time what people are talking about when they say a place feels like home.
I know what you mean about the 5 emotional stages of moving to a new country. I moved to foreign country 13 years ago. no changes in the language but I just needed to tweak my accent of the language to suit the local dialect. Coming from a fast paced and efficient environment, I was frequently frustrated at how slow things were here. Fast forward, I kinda got used to the pace and sort of blended in. I am looking for my next adventure and I am eyeing Germany! (I'm gonna let the 5 emotions make their debut again when I finally move there :) )
The "escalator problem" as i like to call it, has nothing to do with cultures, but with where you grow up. If you grow up in a city with a subway system, you use escalators every day and as a result know that you are supposed to stand on the right side. If you grow up in a smaller town and only know escalators from malls, you just don't have this knowledge. This is a world wide phenomenon. It happened to me within the borders of my rather small home country (which is Austria btw.).
I guess, I've experienced these stages ... kinda all of at once, since I came to Germany without knowing any of the language. There were huge language barriers, I was struggling with learning people, their country and culture, and yet I stayed! :) Thank you for this amazing video and your mom's wisdom! On point! :)
Hi Dana! I love your videos, mostly because of your emotional side! You gesture so much (and funny sometimes ;-) ) and your speaking is full of feels. I love it! Where I read the comments of "Wolke 7" or "cloud 9" or whatever youre on: How do you like the music that is playing in the radio in germany? As there are many german-language songs playing I would like to see a video of you what you think about it (and feels of course! ;-) )! Greets to Munich
+Pozni Pracker Thanks so much!! Glad to hear you're enjoying the videos and thanks for the nice comment. I love the music here in Germany. I really do!! There are some American songs, and I like that because it keeps "up to date" on what's going on over there, but there are also German songs and other songs from around Europe that I wouldn't normally be exposed to in the U.S. I enjoy Peter Fox and "exciting" German music but also calmer songs like Wolke 4 and Lieblingsmensch.
l actually moved to the US from Germany because of my dads work and then moved back again 4 years later (but to a different place than before). so I skipped the honeymoon phase - I already knew the culture and the rules - and I had my parents there to help me out if I didn't. my main problem was school, I could speak german very well - but I couldn't read or write and I was behind on maths. AND they wanted me to learn cursive and write with a fountain pen. so I was supposed to learn all that in one (extremely long) summer in the middle of nowhere where I knew NOBODY (except my family). so now my personal phases: 1) anger and sadness and frustration: I was not happy that I had to leave my friends and everything I knew, so this was basically my first reaction 2) loneliness and seclusion: I didn't know anyone, I didn't have much to do, sooo... my solution was reading all the harry potter books over and over and over...(and over and over and over and over) until I practically knew them by heart (I may not have read the books the most but I think I might have a chance at getting a medal a most-reads-in-shortest-space-of-time). I am not really proud of this as it is now impossible for me to read the books due to over-reading. (i still sometimes listen to the audiobooks though) 3) acceptance: what can I do about it? I have to start accepting that we're here for good. 4) NO I WILL MOST CERTAINLY NOT: yeah right. I am not moving again. never. never ever. 5) oh fine... 6) grudging acceptance: at least it's nicer in this german town than in the other german town. and my room is bigger. I did refuse to learn a completely different type of cursive all over again. and I refused to write with a fountain pen. and I refused to resume piano lessons. because leverage. 7) normal new school phase: meeting new people, more catching up, establishing friends and enemies etc. 8) back to normal: my grades started picking up again until I had pretty much straight 1s (or As for anyone who doesn't know) and I went on to the Gymnasium with most of my friends. this is my home now and looking back on it, I'm glad we moved or I would have never met many wonderful people...
+Jade Oh man, that sounds really tough, picking up and moving back to Germany during school and then trying to catch up with everything all alone in one summer. We moved from New England (Connecticut) down to South Florida one summer when I was a kid and I thought that was hard, and I didn't even have to learn a new language or a different kind of writing or anything like that. Thanks so much for sharing your experience moving back to Germany! Nice to hear that you feel at home again now :)
my wife and I moved to China and we quickly moved to stage 2 and have maintained that for the past few years. Longing to leave China which we will do in 6 weeks. In Europe we (or at least I) can blend in as a caucasian - in China I will always be a foreigner. For that reason we are going back to USA and then to Middle East where I' will be teaching. This brings up a point - how would your experience in Germany been if you were not white but African American or Asian or another person of color. Interesting videos!
I love your videos. I can relate to so many things that you mention in them. The first seven years of my life I was a military brat that moved between Germany and the US a couple of times. After my parents got divorced in 1986, I moved back to Germany with my mom and had to learn German again because I forgot everything during my last stay in the US. I can't remember if I went through all five emotional stages back then but I probably did. I can recall that I wanted to destroy my German elementary school because I hated it so much. Between 1991 and 2010, I went back to the US for six short visits, which were between three and six weeks long. Every single time I experienced a culture shock and sometimes I also went through some of the emotional stages that you talked about.
So why were you moving to Europe in the first time ? My Question: Do you now use the " European" Keyboard standard ( qwertz) or still the american (qwerty) ?
+Urban Major qwertz is the German keyboard, other European countries (i.e. France) have other layouts. But I'd also be interested in what Dana's original reason for moving to Europe (instead of just visiting it) were. So +Wanted Adventure please tell us!
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Qwertz is no European keyboard standard. Depends on the language, mostly. There's also qwerty anf azerty, at least.
+Víktor Bautista i Roca and then there's the cyrillic keyboard...
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***** a) there are much more than 27 European nations. b) at least France and Belgium use AZERTY; Germany, Austria and Switzerland QWERTZ; Lituania, something similar to AZERTY. Then you have Bulgarian, Russian and Serbian cyrilic keyboards and the Greek one. So, lots of different keyboard dispositions.
My stages in moving to Prague from Canada were: 1. A lot of uncertainty 2. A brief "romance" stage which came mainly from the fact that I could be independent from my family and make new friends, but also involved discovering the architecture, culutre, food, etc. 3 A stage where I had little time to worry about the culture etc as I was occupied with getting a visa, a daunting and at times traumatic process 4. A stage when I settled in and tried to make the best of it but kept experiencing culture shock on different levels 5. A stage where I felt disillusioned and just bitched about everything. 6. I finally came to a level position like what you said in the end, each country has its advantages and disadvantages. Although there are Canadian things that I will always miss here, I can appreciate some things about Czech life and find that in the past 12 years, Prague has improved on quite a few levels.
Stage 5 is the stage you most probably will stay in. I moved from Holland to Greece (Greek wife) and even after all these years (18 years now in Greece) I still have this feeling about some things being better in Greece and some things being better in Holland. You only have this feeling because you can compare, if you don't leave the country you are born in, you can't compare. And a small holiday doesn't count, you have to live in another country to make a comparison.
How funny, I exactly went trough these 5 stages as well when I spent a school year in the US as a foreign exchange student last year! :D Don't worry, I know how feeling like an alien far away from home feels like haha... But I have to say I felt even more like a stranger when I came back to Germany ''americanized''!! Thanks for sharing your experiences, I'm still trying to figure out how to stop annoying everyone with criticizing the german way of life since then. :D
+Malte Schulz hahaa yes, I definitely know what you mean about feeling lost in your own country. I also have that in certain aspects of life when I go back to the U.S. to visit. And often just when I'm getting back in the swing of things and used to life there again....it's time to go back to Germany, of course! :)
When I moved from Brazil to the US I experienced something different from everything you mentioned. It was like I was born there, everything felt right with the exception of food, but that wasn't a big deal. I felt bad because I heard many people saying how much they missed home, and I didn't feel it at all. But then, it was only one year and I knew I'd come back. Maybe things would have been different if I had stayed longer. On the other hand, I'm still having a hard time readjusting to my home country.
+Hello Rusty Very interesting to hear about your experience abroad! Well, I'm happy to hear you enjoyed your time in the U.S.!! :) But sorry that you're having trouble readjusting to life in Brazil :/ I definitely feel you there. I haven't moved back to the U.S. since living here, but whenever I go back for vacation I find it takes time to get used to certain aspects of life there.
To be honest you can have that kind of emotional stages even within Germany. Me for example I moved from the south to the north and the cultural shock was feelable
+Bruno T That's a great question!! I'm planning a video where I talk a little about that, but basically I would say at first I missed Prague -- when I first moved to Munich my culture shock was missing the friends and home I'd just made for myself in Prague and I compared my new life in Munich to my "old" life in Prague. But in the longterm it was mostly America I missed and compared to Germany, but still with a tinge of Prague in the background :D haha
I really enjoy your videos, and about 30 years ago I went to Texas for mostly the same reason, for adventure and for getting married. It wasn`t the best experience and I came back to Germany 7 month later. The first emotional stage lasted just 1 month, but I wasn`t confused about the culture because there were so many diffenrent cultures and traditions where I lived that I fit in most perfect and I learned about american culture in school. What confused me was that even though there were so many cultures everybody thought the own culture where the best and only way to live no matter what culture they belong to, whether mexican ,black, white , german, korean , christian or jews or what so ever, everybody sticked to his people and somekind hated the others. I got homesick as well but I didn`t take the time to get along with everything and didn`t make myself at home for different reasons. But after 30 years I try to imagine what it would be like if I had stayed in the states and I started making friends with people overseas and other parts of the world. The differences are not that big at all not bigger than living in Munich or Hamburg, it`s just a thing of acceptance and self-confidence, because there is nothing wrong or right about how to do things, not here in Germany nor in the US or any other place in the world.
What I've experienced that you didn't mention is fatigue. The stage where you are able to follow conversations in pubs but you really have to pay attention and concentrate. Everything appears to take more energy and I was constantly tired. I experienced this when I moved to Britain, after the "honeymoon" stage. I had been living in the U.K. before, which could be the reason why I did not experience all of the stages but got honeymoon, fatigue, and leveling-out.
I went through the classical stages of culture shock in the US. By the time I had finally fully arrived though, I'd manadged to fully immerse myself in the language, too - much to the dismay of my parents when I talked with them on the phone and only used short, simple german sentences, wanting to switch back to english, because the words came to me so much easier then the german ones... :) The most shocking thing about cultur shock as I've experienced it was that nobody had thought to warn me that I might have one going back, too. It was easier and faster, true, but the first months back I was once again on an emotional roller coaster, between 'I missed everone and everything sooo much, it's so awesome here' and 'why can't I go back, everything's so much better in the US'.
+pieniaurinko hahaa yes, I know what you mean with the language! I don't have that to such an extent, but there are definitely words that I only know in German now, because I've only experienced the things here, and when I try to tell my parents about it, I struggle. And I also agree with you about reverse culture shock. I've never moved back to the US from here, but even when I just go for vacation it takes some readjusting to the culture and ways there.
Wanted Adventure Yeah, it's an interesting phenomenon, I think. Even if you know the right words in theory, once you experienced, thought about and discussed something in a certain language, it's always easier to reiterate in that same language. Our brains are lazy, so they like to take the same already established connections and create shortcuts. That doesn't work (as easily) if you switch languages - at least that's my guess, based on what little I know about how the human brain works. Nice to hear others experience that, too. I'm not sure how common it is, but it's probably a good thing to warn people about.
You explained the exact same things I went through when I moved from Australia to Germany 5 years ago, except of course for me asking my mum to ship me 12 cartons of milk :p
I really enjoy watching your videos! Having gone through this "culture shock" experience once I moved to the US as a German I can totally relate - even though the other way round ;-) ! Is there a video about why you decided to move to Germany rather than living in the US? Thank you, you're great!!
+Alena RosyBelle Thanks so much Alena!! I'm happy to hear you enjoyed the video and could relate to it :) :) I haven't made a video about that yet, but I'm planning on it! :D
I’m 34 and I lived my whole life in Germany, still I never realized there was a certain way to use an escalator. Last year when I visited the USA (mainly NYC and Washington D.C.) I was introduced to the idea that you only stand on the right. Until I watched your video I thought that was only common in the US but since you described it the other way round I guess I was wrong. Now I realized that there aren’t many escalators in my hometown and the ones we have are located mainly in malls and even there I usually don’t use them. In the US I used the subway all the time so I guess it is common all around the world to only stand on the right if the place has a subway system or something similar. Btw I love your videos, keep up the good work!
I'm in Germany, and I miss sincerity very much. In my home country, people are much more direct in telling you what they feel about you or your action. Either through verbal or non-verbal communication. I was able to react to that, and immediately change my behavior accordingly if something was up. In Germany, I constantly got the feedback that everything is as good as it could possibly be, to then be avoided and communication interrupted, with no plausible motive given. Maybe other factors were actually involved, but where I'm from, communication is much more direct and personal. I'm talking about job interviews. Where I'm from, if I failed a job interview I know about it immediately without them announcing it, and even if I do fail it, we can still keep connections, so favors can be exchanged, network expanded, so I can recommend someone else who is better qualified for a certain thing, while they can refer me to someone else. It's the same when I turn down job proposals. If we got along really well, we can even hang out at a beer a year after the interview, if time permits, just to have a nice exchange of experience. And if someone thinks that this is bad when you have to fire someone from a job, or quit, I say that not really. I had fired a guy, explained why I'm doing it, and we're now both better off, and nobody holds any grudge. I keep good relations to every person who actually cared about collaboration. This gives me a wide network of colleagues that can help me find a contract, or a person to hire, or anything. I miss this personal touch.
Great video! When I was living in the US for almost one year I think I felt the same, but for some reason not in that order. At first I did not like it at all, I thought everything is better in Germany and just a few months before I had to leave I was in that "Honeymoon-Stage" and did not want to leave again. Maybe you could make a video about the Kneipen-Kultur here in Germany? I never found any bar or whatever thats even close to a good old dirty Kneipe here in Germany.
+Franziska Laum Thanks Franziska! Really interesting to hear about your "opposite" experience. I can definitely see how that could happen. Sometimes it takes time to warm to a new place. As for the Kneipen, that's so true!! Also in most parts of the U.S. we don't have that special cafe-culture that Germany does. I love the cafe-culture here :) (I think in New York they also have a lot of cafes, but New York is a special part of the U.S. lol).
I guess a lot of the frustration is caused by exhaustion. When I spend a long time in an English-speaking environment I get fatigued by listening to people speaking English all the time. The moment you lower your concentration, everything turns into white noise, especially if the English are primarily talking to each other. So you either have to be on your toes all the time or let the conversation pass you by. That's what I noticed, anyway, it's simply exhausting.
I grew up in France and have been living abroad for a while now and I think that especially here in Denmark there is nothing I miss more than the food. Every time I go home, I comeback with plenty of food in my suitcase. Who would have thought that some countries would do something as silly as banning unpasteurised cheese forcing us to have to source it back home?! I discovered weird stuff like having to buy fruits and veg in a supermarket which is still for me an oddity as I always bought my produce from farmers markets. Sorry for the escalators, I plead guilty for being this speedy Parisian getting annoyed at tourists standing on the left of the escalator or walking slowly in the middle of the sidewalk when I am late for work or an appointment. Even now that I live in sleepy relaxed Copenhagen, each time I go home this comes back to me as second nature.
+Aldona Straczek yes!! Throughout the years in Europe, food in general has been one of the big things I've missed. I think it's because especially when I'm having a hard time, there are certain comfort foods I want. And then when I can't get them here, it just makes it even harder for me! It's like, well if I could just have this or that food, it would make all the other culture shock ok :D As for the escalators, no problem ;) actually, now that I know the rule, I love it!
I keep shifting through stages, it's like I can't stabilize in one phase. I moved from Europe to USA 2 years ago, and I understand ALL the emotions you went through, because they keep reappearing in me! :D I guess it will still take time to get to the final stage of acceptance.
When I spend my three months in China, the initial excitement stage was really short (maybe two days), followed by one or two weeks of utter confusion, followed again by excitement. It eventually blended into a "everything is better in China" stage. I never experienced the missing home (except for friends and family of course) stage or even the levelling out. I still think Hangzhou is the most awesome place in the world and that closed grocery stores on Sundays suck :D
+Rachel Fernandez I STILL have not gotten used to stores being closed on Sunday lol I mean, of course I know they'll be closed, but it still seems to sneak up on me sometimes :) or living in Munich where things close at 8 p.m. I often realize at 8:01 that I am craving something to eat xD
My first real big trip overseas, I did a lot of countries and probably was in 'wow' stage a lot and then just 'homesick' stage. I think I just missed my dogs though. After about 5 Europe trips though I don't really miss home, maybe if you're in a town or country that's not that great you just want out of there but don't need to go home as such. But I'm thinking of moving there too so interesting what you said.
My stay in the USA was no longer than 3 weeks, then again 6 weeks - but that was when being in a long-distance relationship with an American woman (yay for the internet age). So by no means long enough to go through several emotional stages but still: the biggest surprise was how much I learned about Europe and Germany seeing both from the outside, and also how many preconceptions I had and my fellow countrypeople have of which just all are wrong. The image of the USA us Europeans have is based heavily on the US's foreign policy plus a lot of obsolete stereotypes from Karl May books and just plain misunderstandings (Americans have no culture, just look at how nasty our local McDonalds is......). Most Germans go to the USA just to see a) New York Central Park b) Las Vegas c) Route 66 d) San Francisco etc.etc., their whole mind is set exclusively to what they already used to fancy this country for before they got there. Speaking for me, I never got out of that boring lesser known city where my then girlfriend lived but I wasn't there as a tourist, I was a part of her family and I had to realize over and over how little we know about Americans as they really are and how unfairly negative we picture them. Anyways, the longer I stayed the deeper the cultural differences seemed to me (cue debate on American vs. German approach to religion... just one example) and also, that beside all differences between European countries there's actually a lot of common ground in general European culture opposed to America - if only as simple as: while in the US, the car breaks down and we're stuck in the neighborhood, the only store in walking distance is Walgreens vs. while in Europe, the car breaks down, doesn't matter, we can always get anywhere and hey, why do I know how to use gear when I don't even own a car?.... Soooo, bottom line America changed my views on both continents a lot and even made me appreciate Germany as my home country more, as for pros and cons I agree both countries equal up. Oh and I just have to add this: one of the craziest experiences in the US was being at a German people meeting and the food was sooo good, real old German cuisine like my grandmas used to do it while right here in Germany it seems to have died out. Germans are crazy in embracing exotic food, everything has to be Indian, Arabian, Afghan, whatever... When my ex said I'd have to take her out eating in Germany I was automatically thinking of my fave Italian and Greek restaurants before it dawned on me she wanted authentic German food :D And don't ask for that moment when I had to tell my German bandmates my girlfriend says we write great songs but we suck at English lyrics so we should change them to German...;)
I am living in Spain for several months, but until now (4 months) I just left out the Frustration-Stage :D Maybe because I have known Spain pretty well before and because I have a German supermarket nearby ^^ That is really helpful!
Prag - Munich might be just 4 hours, but hey, you're crossing what used to be the Iron Curtain in those 4 hours. A couple of years earlier you would have moved to an entirely different political and economical system. Things grow together in the EU (luckily), but not that fast (and the language barrier slows it down even more).
I moved to Spain from a Latinamerican country, and even when both regions share the same language, it's incredibly frustrating to find out you can't communicate quite as easily as you thought you'd be able to. I actually went through a phase, along with the frustration and confusion phase, in which I just disliked what everyone did. I just didn't like their customs, their food, the way they speak and interact with strangers (which just seemed incredibly rude to me) and silly things like that. I got over it though, I actually enjoy those things now. It does get better, and being homesick is just something you'll have to deal with, as it comes in waves, but you learn how to cope, eventually.
I realize noone is reading these comments anymore, but I am just watching and for "best coffee" there is a picture of starbucks... oh my god... hope that was irony.
+Jane Doe FINALLY!!!!! Finally someone noticed that 😂😂😂 I put it in as a joke because if I had wanted that coffee I could have just stayed in the US. I thought I'd get hundreds of comments about it, but nobody seemed to notice! I'm so excited you did. Made my morning :)
The escalator custom was not new to me. I knew this in the US, too. I think trying to learn the language better, the notice of the water being turned off would be more apparent. If there is a notice, I try to read it and translate it if I don't understand. I think maybe it's easier to interpret German than Czech, maybe. Your mom had wonderful advice. :-)
I stayed in england for 7 months when I was 14. I left in January but in december my sister got diagnosed with breast cancer so I was really scared I would see her for the last time on christmas so I used to cry alot for that reason and for general homesickness. I met a really nice person from around three hours away from my place in germany and we mastered speaking denglisch together. We should have spoken more english, I know :D every weekend we used to do something, like going to bigger citys, to the cinema, or just going swimming in Torbay. So at the weekends I was really happy, but in the schooltime I couldn't really enjoy myself that much.Afterwards I'm pretty disapointed of myself. Until like easter break I always wanted to go home earlier but afterwards, when I finally arrived the time was running pretty fast. But I think after the journey I mainly cried of joy, because I saw my whole family again and both of my sisters :) But afterwards I felt so empty. after any big and exiting thing my normal life is so boring! This experience with england has left me with general "reisefieber". I really want to travel so much and I've considered living in different countries for the rest of my life. :D
+Obstgeist7 I experiences the confusion stage pretty much in my hostfamily. didn't really got along with them (but I was to scared? to tell the organisation) because plenty of times they thought I was rude, but I didn't even know why.... And I think my hostfather made all germans responsible for WW2 or something, at least he looked at me as if he did....
haha the escalator thing reminded me of one of the first escalator rides in the airport after a week in münchen. I noticed me (and my family) all stood automatically to the right of the escalator... this was the first time I realised it, but we'd probably been doing it throughout the airport before not noticing! I thought it was quite funny!
Actually good point on the can of beans. I thought I was being smart by finally keeping all the plastic bottles to return to the supermarket in Germany so I'd collect some Euros, only to find out the machine would take almost none of them.
3:21 the "escalator rule" is a thing in the US, too. I used to get SO PISSED at ppl on the DC Metro escalators who didn't know the rules and got in my way - mostly because they were completely oblivious to the growing group stuck behind them.
Great video Dana :) Your mother sounds very wise too! I'm curious as to when you first moved to Europe was there a big culture shock in terms of going from Imperial measurements in the US to right into Metric in Europe? Eg a 40° day in the US would be fairly cold but in Europe a 40° day would be a scorcher! Or having to use metres instead of feet. Things like that! Cheers.
Thank you Alan!! :) Happy you liked it. And yes, I definitely had a hard time switching to metric and Celsius. And now 6 years later I actually have no idea what Fahrenheit temperatures mean anymore!!! lol But I still struggle with metric...I know "how" it works and it's of course much simpler to understand, but if someone says something is 16 meters away, I still have trouble picturing how far exactly that is. I made a video that mentions that, that you might enjoy! :D Things Expats Say :) :) th-cam.com/video/CNh_-dsm0Fc/w-d-xo.html
+Wanted Adventure You're welcome Dana! I watched the video you linked and liked it of course :D Ah! I see you've retained your American spelling of "metre" haha Here in Ireland imperial is used to measure the weight of a baby and only for that. You'd hear of a baby being 8 lbs for example but never as 3½kilos or whatever that measurement is even though everything else is metric (signs, temperature, length, distance etc). Bizare isn't it? Anyway, I'd more questions I wanted to ask but now I can't remember them! Typical eh?Haha 🙈🙈
+Samara V Hamilton I actually have no idea. It seems to be just with weights because I was actually talking to someone about this and they were saying it's not at all uncommon to have someone state their weight in stones and lbs. This might be due to the fact a lot of content in Ireland (especially those revolving around fitness and weight loss) come from England which still uses Imperial so although officially we use metric for everything, in real world terms stones/lbs is sometimes used along side it for weights!
As a German living in California, there are a few things I miss, but overall I am much happier here. What I do miss is German bakeries, ham without sugar, (in general: why is there sugar in absolutely everything here in America?), Fleischsalat, Broetchen, Mettwurst (the one to spread on bread), white aspargus, but most of all: Doener Kebab - German style. Except for the Doener, I have found places that sell a few of these things, but not the Doener yet even though some falafels have come close. Also, what I miss are the disciplined German drivers. If people in the US obeyed the same keep right at all time except to overtake rule as in Germany, you could fit 3x the traffic on the roads. Speaking about driving, what is really weird is that sometimes when driving, I forget I am in California as thanks to mobile internet and bluetooth, I listen to German radio stations in my car.
So many feels. I get it. This makes me me feel so bad after being home for Thanksgiving. Not your video, but wanting to be home again. My mother has asked me so many times, "When are you moving back?" I don't have an answer. So many things make me think that living in Europe is much more sensible. Housing, healthcare, etc. But, my family is in the US. How do you get by without family? This part makes me sad. There is no right answer.
+sabrinah888 I feel you!! When I moved to Europe 7 years ago I just kind of stood up and left, and didn't really think about the consequences. Of course I LOVE living here, but it is hard that if I'm here, spending time with my German family, I have to miss my American family and vice versa. I watch the TH-cam videos of an American living in Japan, and she recently put out a really great video on the topic that sums up some of my feelings: th-cam.com/video/EPtUkinEXCQ/w-d-xo.html
Hey Dana, I really like your channel! I'm also thinking about moving to another city/country. :-) do you prefer Prague or Munich? I've never been in Prague but I've been in Munich already and I really like the city.
+Marvin Winkler That's a good question! Actually I met Mr. German Man after I was already doing better. I stayed because...well, because I knew that's where I wanted to live lol as hard and challenging as it was, I wanted to live in Europe in a city with hundreds of years of history, with castles nearby and Italy, Spain, France, the Netherland, etc. a short flight away. I just knew I wanted to live there :)
I was born and raised in Switzerland until I was nine years old. Then we moved from Switzerland to Germany because of a job opportunity of my dad. And when you are forced to move to another country, you go through a totally different stage. It is hate. I hated everything about the new place. I felt lonely and every little thing was just pissing me off. Sorry... but it discribes my feelings. After a few weeks, the school began and then I met some new people. They became my friends and suddenly all my sorrows and the hate was gone. Now... the difference between germany and switzerland aren't that big...but enough to let there be a small insecureance. I was totally leveled, but I felt that I didn't belonged there. So I've decided to go back to Switzerland. My dad wasn't my opinion, of course. So I had to wait until I turned 18. It was my plan to go...but you know. Destiny is a mean bitch. My mom died when I was 16. So I had to replace her in the family runned italian restaurant business. I had to be there for my daddy. When I turned 18 I was in the middle of my apprenticeship (Lehre) and in a relationship with a boy and of course an important part of the restaurant team. No chance and no thoughts for moving. But there was this tiny whispering voice in my head... When I broke up the relationship a few months before my graduation I was again in the moving mood. But then...I met a new guy. I know...so silly. He told me that he loves me and that he will follow me wherever I want....but...I have to wait. He had a contract at the german army, the Bundeswehr, for 12 years, and he only had done 2 of it. And so I've asked him whem his last day of work would be regarding the contract. He said that it would be the 30.06.2013. And I said, ok...I wait until this date and then we go. And so we did. :) We're living now in Switzerland since 04.07.2013. During the time I had to wait I went through all these stages. And now back in Switzerland, which was my goal for such a long time, I go through them again. I think there will be stages all your life. And the mean thing is, you can't run away from them. Once you've changed your mind, the "place" will never be what you have seen in it when you left. And there will be something you hate, love, miss in every place in the world. It's a what we call "Teufelskreis".
+Sheilyn Thanks so much for sharing your moving experiences! You make an excellent point there, that sometimes once you get what you've been waiting for, it'll be different & that once you change your mind and thoughts a place will "change" as well. Yes, I've definitely experienced that many times in my life. Thanks to German for giving me a word for it!! :)
A total unrelated note: Praha. I have not been in Praha since like 25 years. How is the city these days? It used to be so very charming, full of regional products, very polite and controlled organized crime, and chlebíčky everywhere. I heared it did became a very modern city these days. How is it these days?
+Traumglanz I actually just got back from a quick little trip there, and I will say that I noticed things have even changed a lot in the past 6 years since I moved to Munich. It has become more touristy, but really only in the main downtown area, Charles Bridge, etc., but as soon as I wandered a couple streets away from the main squares, it gets quiet once more :) To me everything is still charming though :) I will always be in love with the city. I didn't notice any chlebíčky this trip, although even six years ago they really only seemed to pop up right around Christmas or Easter. Now the "thing" is trdelnik. They were EVERYWHERE. Six years ago there was ONE trdelnik stand, now they were really everywhere. I guess they're just getting more popular in general, because I've also noticed them popping up more in Munich too. Something lovely that I noticed is that Prague is getting more very delicious international food and the streets are getting cleaned up more -- not as much dog poop or other trash lying around.
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For me as a half and half German-American, we would travel to Germany and visit family nearly every year. I never had a culture shock because I lived both cultures constantly.
Then on high school I took German class so I could better talk to my family in Germany. And German grammar is hard. It brought a whole new meaning to the term "grammar nazi."
Then at the end of my high school career our German class took a trip around Germany. what was different about this trip to Germany was that I got to act as the observer and see people my age who had never left our home state of Michigan, let alone fly on a plane to a whole other country. So even though I was a fellow student, I was also part tour guide. And our tour was by bus, so there were always stops at gas stations where we filled up on snacks while our drive filled up the gas. Introducing American teenagers, and some of their parents who came along to the different chocolates, and that Haribo makes a lot more than just plain ol' gummy bears, to the delicious nectar that is Apfelschorle. My favorite. I almost felt like a wildlife photographer narrating one of those nature shows. "And here we see the American discovering the chocolate Kinder Eier. See how the open the prize with new found wonder." Stuff like that.
But it also renewed my love for everything German. especially food. Such as schnitzel. A typical normal meal my mom always made at least once a month at home. But watching my fellow students gush over how yummy it was while they are it for the first time made me think "They're right. It is yummy. I could never ever live without Schnizel." And so I savored every bite along side my fellow students.
And then I even felt touched when we got ready to go back home to the US, and many of the American students didn't want to go back home to the US. They had grown to love Germanyjust as much as me. Usually my sister and I were the only ones to fuss over not wanting to return home. I thought my fellow students would miss fast food and super sized soda. But no. They had grown to love the sparkling mineral water and Schorles of Germany, and the new world of German cuisine. Taking public transit everywhere, and of course soaking in all the beauty of Germany.
It's been 6 years since that trip, and this year I convinced my old German teacher to let me come along as a chaperone on the school trip and got to experience it all over again. And this year's experience is what gave me the inspiration to move to Germany myself, since I am at a point in my life where I have no big responsibilities or obligations holding me down here in Michigan.
Don't get me wrong, I like Michigan. Half my family and many of my friends are here. But of course it just doesn't compare to Germany, and ordering from germandeli.com 3 or 4 times a year just doesn't contain my hunger for German food. So I'm hoping in the next 2-3 years I'll have enough saved up to make the move. :)
So where you gonna move? :D
+Natalie Boyer Thanks for the text, made my day XD And also happy you like Germany so much!
Thank you for taking the time to write about your experiences, it made me smile =)
Good luck with your endeavor und ich drücke die Daumen! =D
thanks for sharing that!
Such a cool story!
I just love how your videos have basically only one topic you talk about all the time and never get any less fun to watch. you seem like a truly awesome and fun person!
+Luise xx Glad you're enjoying them! :D
I'm from Germany and I find your videos very interesting because I learn a lot of things that I think are normal but they're just things we do in Germany!
+Marie Drasnin Totally agreed.
I really enjoyed watching this! I just moved to Munich 4 months ago from Canada (also for my "Mr. German Man" and to study). I can totally relate to the frustration and confusion that comes with having to re-learn basic day-to-day interactions, but now within the German context and language. It has definitely helped me develop a stronger appreciation for the many millions of people (and the few who are my mother and her family) who came to Canada (and the US!) and needed to start running as soon as they landed. These are people who needed to learn to integrate and support themselves at the same time.
I always try to keep in mind that while being new in Europe, we still have had certain privileges and support systems that most migrants do not have. Especially coming from wealthy developed Western countries like Canada and the US, to Germany, a country that shares many of the same cultural norms.. We are very lucky in so many different ways!
I honestly love this video. It's so pure and real, I bet many people can relate and also many who would feel relieved that the stage they might currently be stuck in, will change sooner or later. I also love your mom for saying what she said. Brilliant.
Dana, when I see one of your videos, many thoughts come to mind. One of the most prevailing one is about what your mom must fell and think when she sees one of your video. My guess is that she must be proud and somewhat reassured that everything is alright. As for me, I am having a lot of fun just watching them. Merry Christmas to you and mister "German Man"!
I am German, but I lived in the USA for a year. And I also went through all the stages you described and I kinda anticipated them. What I did not expect was going through more emotionalstages coming back home to Germany again: everything is so great here in Germany - I really miss the US - I wanna travel again. Since then I lived in Peru (5 months) and the UK (7 months). What really changed for me is the people I surround myself with: It's really important that someone understands the intercultural experiences.
okay i am so obsessed with your videos and learning all about european culture! they're so interesting!
+ThruKaileysCamera :D Thank you!! Happy to hear you enjoying the videos :) :)
+ThruKaileysCamera there is no such thing as "European Culture". We are very numerous and very different countries. Probably one thing we have in common, we have more than just 2 weeks of paid leave per year.
Great video to watch! I'm from NY and I too lived in Prague for 1 year before meeting my Mr. German and moving to Germany (Dresden) ... that was 4 years ago now! I still struggle with the stages sometimes and finding my place here. I was honestly really surprised at how challenging it's been because I really didn't expect to have a tough time adjusting at all! Funny how things work out so differently than expected sometimes ;). Wishing you all the best!
Since more than 20 years, I am visiting my best friend for 4-5 weeks in Australia every second year. Long time I wanted to migrate to Australia, because everything was so much better there. I didn't do it, I felt like I couldn't leave my family behind. I am still in Germany, I was on stage 5 until last summer. Since than I am on stage 6: I am happy not to go. Why? I became a grandmother and happy to see my grand child whenever I like.
Eine schöne Adventszeit!
hello i'm now learning German,sometimes i have some questions from my homework.😊Können Sie mir helfen?
+A Angela Australia's attitudes have changed in the last 20 years, you might not like what they've changed to.
I have been in Germany since 2004 and we will be moving back to Florida after my German husband retires. I went through all of this too. It was hard sometimes to get used to all the differences but I found that Germany is a great place to live. Truly. I am on the border to Holland and Belgium and I find the mix of cultures is eye opening. By the way I miss General Tso's also. I have to get it everytime we go back home to America.
I really enjoy your videos, especially the one where you were at Aldi for the first time. I had the same reaction as you.
+Mary Sterck hahaa thanks for the nice comment, Mary! Nice to hear you can relate my experiences. Yeah *sigh* General Tso's chicken! So delicious. Someone commented on this video that they don't understand...you can get chicken at the Chinese places in Germany....no, no, it's not General Tso's :D
I'm about to move to Germany myself, and I'm currently in the "Oh goodness what do I do to get everything to work out?" stage? I haven't moved, so I'm not yet in the "honeymoon" stage, its mostly fighting bureaucracy! Excited for the many stages!
Wow, I really enjoyed this Video, since it seems to be one of your deepest so far.
Thanks for sharing. :-)
Hey thanks Andreas!! That's really great to hear...I wasn't sure what people would think of this kind of video, so cool to hear you enjoyed it :)
I really like your video! I moved from Australia to Germany 18 months ago and it´s interesting to here an analysis of the emotional stages. I think "confusion" stage never totally goes away, and sometimes I miss the familiarity of living where I grew up. The subtleties of when to use DU and SIE will always pop up now and again as I just don´t have a "feel" for it. Also your point about having to go through the culture shock a second time......... it would happen to some degree just moving WITHIN a European country too, certainly in Germany. We live near Nuremberg and the dialect and culture differs somewhat from around Munich where I lived years ago. thanks, Sarah (using my husband´s account).
Yes, I believe it! Most people don´t realise that Germany was not a unified country until 1870 and therefore that regional differences are very strong. I think many people would identify with being (e.g.) Franconian first, Bavarian second, and German third. My husband says Bavarians have more in common with Austrians than Berliners, for example.
oh OK, interesting to know!
+Johannes Mayrhofer Thanks Sarah! Happy to hear you enjoyed the video and that you could relate to it :) Yes, I definitely know what you mean about the "du" and "Sie" confusion. I still have that as well :) I try my best, but often I'm just not sure! Wish you all the best here in Germany :)
I really liked that Video!
When I visited California in 2013, I was so in awe and loved it so much that I still miss it these days. The people who came cross my way were very lovely and nice. And after a month when I was back at home in Berlin is was so sad and felt so judged from the people here. Ok honestly, everyone knows that Berlin is not the friendliest of cities ^^ but it really dumped my mood for quite a while. I think I lost a piece of my heart in San Francisco and I really wanna go back!
That is because the Bay Area has a soul... that is like nothing else in this world. It has districts. The people make it come alive. There is not judgment, it is not pompous, rude or judgmental. It is my hometown. You should come back if it is calling. Did you go to the piers, the boardwalk?
well that even happened to me when I moved to the other side of Germany at age 16. I experienced pretty much the same emotional stages so I guess it does not depend on whether you move across the atlantic or "just" 6 hours away from home. It'll be the same every single time :D
I have lived in Ireland for a year and now I'm back home... Oh when you said "I like them both but differently" I had some tears in my eyes... It's so difficult to have our hearts divided like that... Miss Ireland very much :(
Your mom must be a great person!
oh yes, for sure :)
I have never been to another country than germany for more than 4 weeks. but I worked in bavaria for a few month and I am from near the north sea. I even recognized a lot of differences within germany. It must have been very strange and exciting to change the continent.
I'm from Germany and I just discovered your channel! I love every single video of yours! They are so well made and structured! I find it really interesting what people from other countries think about my / the German culture :) lots of love x
+lisa_rosy Thank you! :) Happy to hear you're enjoying the videos :D :D Thanks for your nice comment!
I am in New Zealand for 3 month now and I'm deeeep in the 3rd stage. I miss everything from germany. Sometimes there are random pictures of my hometown popping up in my head and I don't know why. Phew, I hope I get over it soon.
+Snorri Snibble I really feel your pain, we all get that, I had the same issues when I moved to britain and it took me about two years to get out of that phase....
+Snorri Snibble I feel for you! That's really hard -- I wish you all the best moving through that stage. Hopefully it doesn't take you too long to get out.
Something I found helpful was making a list of the reasons why I wanted to live abroad in Prague/Munich to begin with. Also search your brain really hard and try to find at least a few positive things about being there -- perhaps its beauty or interesting wildlife? Whatever it is you like about the place and your original reasons for WHY you picked it. Then look at that list every morning when you wake up and every evening before going to sleep :) Hope it helps!
Wanted Adventure Thank you, that's so sweet!
I will definitely try making lists, that's a great advise. :)
+Snorri Snibble If you have the possibility, travel around, see things you would never be able to see in Europe. Also, the Kiwis are the nicest people I have met in the whole world. Show interest in their way of life, it will pay back. Their attitude towards life really made me miss Germany a lot less.. Keep it up, mate :)
you're helping me adapting to live in rumania - now i finally have someone who understands ;) thanks!!!
I am south Florida too!! I am half French and thinking of moving back to France. I lived there as a child before my parents divorced and my mother and I returned to the States. I am no longer fluent in French, but I am determined to move back to France and regain my fluency back. All of my father's family is still there, so I feel a little more comfortable with the idea of moving and I don't have much culture shock as I go to Europe often. I am graduating law school in the next few months and I'm wondering how I will make that transition in the future. I still want to use my American degree and not waste it, but ideally, I'd like to move back to France some time in the future. I watched a few of your videos, I feel that while it may be best to have a job lined up, I'm totally open with going there and seeing what happens. What's the worst that could happen? It doesn't work out and you return home.anyway, you have a new subbie!
Hello Dana. My English name is Leo. I am from Shanghai, China. (TH-cam is blocked, I have VPN). I moved to Columbia, Missouri in Jan 2013 to pursue my master degree, I studied there for two years. In Jan 2015, I graduated and went back home. Here is my emotional stages of moving. 1. lost and insecure, 2. Gradually adapted life in a small town, 3. Homesick(Actually I missed my parents, not other stuff), 4. Totally loved my life in Columbia, MO. 5. Extremely sad goodbye 6. Cannot tolerate life in Shanghai China, miss Missouri like crazy!!
I think I am on the last stage, after 7 years since I moved to Canada, it is quite right when you described all the stages and best of all is one does not realize any of this until all of them are completed. I love living in Canada (snow, ice and cold included) there are things that I miss from my former country such the landscape and some foods. But when I'm there I miss the order, the peace and the variety of languages and food. Thank you for explain it so well
I highly admire your way to think and live
+coawler oz thank you very much!
Thanks for this amazing video. Good to know that I am not alone with those feelings. I moved to America few months ago and totally understand what you're saying in this video. :D
+xxRememberWhen :D Glad to hear you enjoyed it!! And also that you can relate to it :) Wish you a lovely stay in the U.S.!
Funny enough I also moved from south Florida (Tampa) to Germany ( Trier ) in 2009. I went through a few other stages because we moved when I was 15 but still very similar it was just more like 1,2,1,2,3,2,3,4,3,4,5,4,5 LOL. My way of having a little piece of America in Europe was by finding friends on the American base and being able to have those few moments with Popeyes and Taco bell, I greatly appreciated that :D I am now studying architecture in Berlin so I've definitely settled but I still have days I would like to move back. Maybe another short visit back will change that. :D
P.S. loved this video, definitely relatable :)
+Kiki Chateau hahhaa yes I definitely relate to your fluctuating back and forth in the stages!!! Looking back on it from that point of view, I'd say that in Munich I also moved several times from 4 back to 3 and then to 4 and then to 3 before I ever finally settled into 4 :D
And thank you!! Glad to hear you enjoyed the video and could relate to it :)
Hey, Dana,
great video. Those stages sound familiar. When I went from Germany to the States for the first time, I wanted to become Americanized so badly and not to be recognized as German as quickly as possible - but somehow I skipped the honeymoon phase. Things were cool in Minnesota, I liked it, but I guess I remained somewhat skeptical of that place. My stages were more like:
1) Curiosity, probing and testing.
2) Depression and disgust (at how a majority of kids behaved in high school)
3) Caving in (and becoming a bit more like those kids ;-) )
4) Ready to stay in the US for good (but I didn't...)
Incidentally, upon returning to Germany to finish Gymnasium, I went exactly through the four prototypical stages. Kulturschock in reverse, I guess :-)
+Lucas Yann Sommer Thanks so much for your nice comment Lucas!! Happy to hear you enjoyed the video and cool that you could relate to it. I'm always so fascinated to hear where people end up for their exchange in the U.S. Studying in Minnesota versus studying where I'm from in South Florida would be very different, I think :)
And yes! I definitely know what you're talking about, about that reverse culture shock. I've never moved back to the U.S. since living here, but when I go back for vacation it always takes me time to get used to some things there again :)
+Wanted Adventure Minnesota was great, no doubt. But picture this: senior year class trip, sometime in February. Minnesotan February, that is. We had just gotten over the -40° days. (Incidentally, -40° is great - it's the same in F and C...) So off we go on a 24 hour bus ride into sunnier climes... to Florida. I LOVED Florida. Gators tanning on the roads, tourists tanning on the beaches, Cape Canaveral, Universal Studios, tropical fruit... Going back to MN after a week of sun was horrible. When we arrived, they had just gotten five feet of snow...
Springtime in MN lasted about a week. You go from five feet of snow to unbearable heat, humidity, mosqitos and tornadoes in the amount of time it takes to read The Hobbit.
Nevertheless, I like Minnesota. I liked it so much that I returned to work as a teaching assistant at a college. This time, there was no culture shock, at all, strangely. I knew what I was into, I guess. I entered on a honeymoon-phase kind of high and never got down from it...
When you said you were surprised to have another culture shock when coming from Prag to Munich, I laughted because I thought: Yes of course you did, they are two very different countries! Americans tend to talk about 'Europe' as if it's one homogenous entity! But then I remembered my stay abroad in England for half a year and how baffled I was that I expirienced culture shock- I'm from Germany. I, too, had thought things would not be too different within Europe. So clearly it's not just an American misconception :)
I remember walking to the supermarket in my homesick faze and reading some graffiti in German and getting so angry at that blatant reminder that I wasnt in America anymore. It was so silly but at the time it was like a punch in the face. But when my semester ended and I went home I kept thinking in German and got confused by a Die Factory. The factory? There are factories everywhere! What makes that one special? I'll never escape the ridicule.
Great video, it's one of my favorites by far! :) I hope to move to Europe someday, so this was really helpful, thanks! Hmm... when I went to study abroad in Scotland for 2 months this summer, I was mostly in phase 1. Things did get a bit frustrating at times (getting lost when travelling, cultural differences...) but I didn't really get into the other phases. Surprisingly, I didn't miss my home in the states at all haha. :)
+ThisIsTheStory Glad to hear you enjoyed the video! Thanks for the nice comment :D That's great that you were able to really enjoy your whole time in Scotland.
Hi Dana! This makes me feel a lot better about what to expect when I actually make the move across the pond. I think I'd also miss the chocolate soy milk, haha!! And your mother seems like a super amazing and supportive person. :) And as a fellow southern floridian, I think I would go through the "missing the shining sun" phase :p I've never seen snow before either, and the thought of the cold and snow actually gives me anxiety!! I mean, I would LOVE to see the snow but I have this irrational fear that I'll visit Germany and somehow freeze to death in the winter because I have no prior experience of snow. Lol, I know, 0 to 100. :'D
+Anny whocares I was picturing this icy, frozen "winter wonderland" :P Thanks for the reality check! Hahaha!!! And it definitely makes me glad I'll still be able to purchase chocolate soymilk! :'D
+Anny whocares tbh, I'm not sure where I'd like to go yet.. I'll have to visit first and make up my mind then. I think that's the best way to do it. And I'll definitely have to get some "heavier" clothing. I think the most of what I wear year round(beside the colder months like jan. or feb.) are shorts, short sun dresses, tank tops, sandals.. lol! :P Actually, contrary to popular belief, we Floridians do get quite a lot of summer thunderstorms and flooding, but year-round rain would definitely take adjusting to...
+Anny whocares Where would you say is the best weather? Where do you think is the best place for a floridian in Germany? :P
+Liv Lowry My first few winters here were REALLY snowy (one in Prague and then two in Munich), but then since then there hasn't been SO much snow, but it's still cold for this Florida girl!!!! I've learned it's good to have three "warm levels" of jackets lol A SUPER warm one for the winter, a medium warm one for the late fall and spring, and a beige trench coat for early fall and late spring :)
+Anny whocares lol! Well, I live near the water actually and so do my grandparents but certainly not all of us!! and there are a lot of rural parts of Florida with farms and a lot of green, so it just depends on which part of Florida you're from :)
I'm from Norway and moved to Munich to study in September. My german was pretty good, but holy magoly that university-German is just insanely complicated; it was a shock. It has also taken a looong time to manage all those little things you have to re-learn like groceryshopping etc., but I think I'm finally getting mye head over the water as we say in Norway :) In the process of "adapting" it also really helps to see that I'm not alone having such feelings! Love your videos!
I'm a German exchange student in Norway and came here 3 months ago and already in stage 4.
I never wanted to go home even when I had to change family, but I'm already more or less over the stage of confusion :D
I lived in Finland and Norway for some months but I didn't have this stages thing at all. Since I knew my time there is limited I enjoyed every minute. I maybe didn't feel welcome by the people there (since Finns seem to be pretty close, not very talkative etc.; the Norwegian are though) but I felt so home in the area, i loved the nature, the silence...everything. Winter time that was. And I love winter (and Finland has the REAL winters...).
Now I plan to go there after I'm finished studying and try to live there for some years and maybe settle down.
But now I am studying like 250km away from my home area and I got these feelings of "Heimweh" (nostalgia) from time to time, since I know I will have to stay here for quite many years till I'm finished studying and this area here is not that enjoyable for me (though I have to be thankful I am allowed to study here...)
In August I started a volunteer year in Thailand. Honeymoon state was really great but did not last to long. In September I began to feel a bit lonely. October was horrible. Then on November, I stopped feeling lonely (thanks god). but now, i'm in a state, where i begin to realize that i don' t really like many of the cultural aspects here. the propaganda, the importance of prestige and just looking good, and actually not saying anything negative to someone or not showing negative or too happy emotions. and they dont really like foreigners and are pretty racist.
i hope i get out of this kind of state some day cause i don't only want to think bad about Thai culture.
Hey Dana, great video. like you “going deep“, especially because I am from germany. I moved 6 hours in germany from near munich to berlin and I recognized all of the stages by myself. Germany can be so different. I moved back to Bavaria last year and now I feel a little bit trapped in stage 3, because I still miss so much about Berlin/Brandenburg. I think my heart is not 100% Home here.
I am learning swedish for quite a few years now and will visit the country next year for a longer period of time - maybe I can make a home there eventually. I will see:)
+Coco Licious thank you! :) Glad you liked the video. Oh yes, I can definitely imagine that moving from Bavaria to Berlin would be a big change. I've visited Berlin several times (and love it as well!), and can easily see huge differences between the two places around every corner. Wish you all the best settling into life back in Bavaria, or figuring out where you're going to go next :D
i'm from germany and when i went to the UK to live with a host family for some time i couldnt stop smiling ! Even though both countries are in europe it felt completely different - but in a good way! I wasn't shocked at all, by nothing! Everything seemed just so pretty and amazing and just better than here in good old germany. I felt like never ever leaving this beautiful land. The food, the drinks, the landscape, the people were all fascinating and i think i remained at stage 1 throughout my time there. I'll especially miss London, its very different from what i've seen of german cities and it totally amazed me! Starbucks is everywhere with far more than 200 shops just in London! Berlin barely has 25! Oxford and Windsor were also worth a visit, the culture and buildings were looking great. Harry Potter was everywhere :p All in all i just love Great Britain and especially England, i'd always go there again!
PS: i love how people thought i was french, my accent sounded much like that they said :p
+Claire Flint That's so wonderful to hear that you really enjoying every second of your time there!! And I must agree, London is a really great place.
I love your videos. They are so true. Your experiences of living in a different country are very much like mine. Like you I was hit by culture shock twice. my first experience of moving abroad fits the stages very well, albeit they may not be so clearly separated - rather overlapping.
(My second experience is completely different - but probably because there are other factors - like moving from the hustling and bustling life of a great City in one country to an agricultural desert in the middle of nowhere in another)
.
First I moved from Germany to Scotland and lived there for almost 6years - I completely recognize the stages you describe. In the first months I was in love with Glasgow. I know, it sounds weired to say that you are in love with a City - but these were the words I used back then and I had to laugh when you called it the "honeymoon stage". Sometimes I couldn't believe my luck and thought "Wow - I am not just on holiday - I actually LIVE HERE!"
I had one great advantage: I was quiet fluent in English and I has a lot of really nice colleagues, a lot of them from different countries and soon I had made some friends there. I also had a wonderful Scottish flatmate who had lived abroad herself for a while so she understood what it would be like for me - she explained how things worked and integrated me in her circle of friends. I got a bicycle and explored the City. Still there was frustration - for example when I had difficulties opening bank accounts because I needed a gas bill as a proof of address- which I would never get because my flat mate paid all the bills, when my bank unexpectedly charged me high fees for services I hadn't asked for. When cycling I discovered the not so nice areas - I had never seen such deprived areas in Germany. When I told my colleagues about these excursions they were shocked and told me not to go there - not safe. In Germany I had always felt safe. September came and the sun would stop shining. Glasgow was a big city, the buildings were brownish grey and I realized that while you could see the green hills from almost everywhere in the city they were too far away to just spontaneously get there if you didn't have a car. In Germany I had spent a lot of time outdoors - whenever I had felt like it, I would go for a run in the fields behind my house or through the forrest. (I guess for me the culture shock was not only moving to a different country but moving from a smaller town to a big City)
Oh, and the darkness, the yellow street lights, and the rain!!. October was the rainiest since 1952 and November and December were no better. When I came home after work I soon felt like the walls were closing in on me. My wonderful flatmate had gone abroad for a few month and I was alone in the flat. In Germany I would have gone for a run - in Glasgow in the dark this was not safe - I had been told to stick to the main roads.
I missed my pets that I had left back in Germany.
I went back to Germany for Christmas and I remeber telling my sister at the end of the holiday that I did not want to go back to Scotland.
But when I went back everything was bright somehow. It was still raining every day but I bought flowers for the window sill and I decided to go out on my bicycle again no matter the weather. The days got longer. I had learned that knowing language is not enough to successfully communicate - you need to learn culture. Starting with children's books and TV series that everyone in Britain who was my age had grown up with but that I didn't know - so I read them and watched them - I also watched TV with curiosity. I wanted to learn everything about this country. I remember standing with my eyes closed and absorbing the Scottish accents (in Tescos - the low cost supermarket in "scary" Maryhill as well as in the upmarket Waitrose in the affluent West End). These were the years leading up to the Refere ndum on Scottish inde pendence - I have never in my life been so interested in, worried, and excited about politics before because I truely cared about this country. I wanted to BECOME as Scottish as possible. I had entered the stage where I loved this country with all its upsides and downsides. Now I can live equally happy in Germany and in Scotland - albeit after more than 7years living abroad of which I have spent 6 in Scotland I have to say that my social life is mainly in Glasgow, while my social life in Germany is fading. I still have some very old and good friends in Germany but they all live in different places. When people ask me about Germany, or how Germans think aobut this or that I more and more often have to answer: "I don't know - I haven't live there in a long time."
I know that if I lived in Scotland I would always miss Germany and if I lived in Germany I would always miss Scotland.
At the moment I miss them both.
The second culture shock came when I moved to rural France. No honeymoon stage here. Rural means a village with 900 inhabitants. All old people. Not a single child lives in the village. The people don't talk to me. After having been spoiled by British politeness France seems quite rude. (My British friends laugh when I say that - according to their stereotype Germans are supposed to be very rude). Expats? Maybe I could find some English pensioners who have made their dream of retirment in the French countryside come true. No public transport. The nearest supermarket is 20miles away and you always have some slow tractor or harvesting machine on road in front of you.
I speak French, but not as good as English - I am playful and creative in my use of language - and it really annoys me that I cannot express myself in the way that I am used to. It takes a lot of energy to listen, it takes me longer to say what I want to say and I often feel powerless in making my point in meetings at work. At the lunch table I often zone out because there are too many people talking at once. French burocracy is hell. I decided that I won't find out about wether or not there are better stages to come. I have just given up and resigned and packed my car and left for good.
I miss free refills in germany too... although I'm german and never lived abroad :D
But I plan to do it eventually. I'm thinking on Scotland or New Zealand
ooooh sounds lovely. Scotland is great & I haven't been to New Zealand yet but I've heard it's incredible :)
I really admire your courage and your will to learn these two quite difficult languages! Amazing!
I could never live in another country (This year I was staying in Québec for three months, but I was so happy, when I came back to Germany)
My experience of acclimatizing to life in Europe, and specifically Germany, was much more boring: I climbed onto cloud 9 and never got down again - I merely got used to being on cloud 9. For a while at first I used to have nighmares, waking up in a cold sweat because I had been dreaming I was back in the USA, but I soon fell asleep again, grinning broadly at the discovery that I was still on the right side of the Atlantic. There are a few things I miss about America - my grandmother's apple pie, for instance - but they're certainly not worth going back for, and probably don't even exist any more (like my grandma and her pies). Of course, German was my minor in college so I could speak the language more or less upon arrival. And another not insignificant point: I grew up in Detroit, which I found to be a very easy place to leave, while in Germany I've lived in Tübingen, Freiburg, and now Marburg, which naturally makes for a very unfair comparison. I did spend a few months in Seattle once, though, and hated nearly every minute, so I guess I really have fully acclimatized to my European cloud.
Balasidis??? are you Greek?
No. Born and raised in the USA. Now a citizen of Germany.
Balasidis is a greek name though. are you of greek origin? I was impressed of your way of being terrified of being back in the US during your sleep. What made you hate being there so much?
No, I'm not of Greek origin, either.
I just never felt at home in the US. When I finally came to Europe I got off the plane and understood for the first time what people are talking about when they say a place feels like home.
I know what you mean about the 5 emotional stages of moving to a new country. I moved to foreign country 13 years ago. no changes in the language but I just needed to tweak my accent of the language to suit the local dialect. Coming from a fast paced and efficient environment, I was frequently frustrated at how slow things were here. Fast forward, I kinda got used to the pace and sort of blended in. I am looking for my next adventure and I am eyeing Germany! (I'm gonna let the 5 emotions make their debut again when I finally move there :) )
The "escalator problem" as i like to call it, has nothing to do with cultures, but with where you grow up. If you grow up in a city with a subway system, you use escalators every day and as a result know that you are supposed to stand on the right side. If you grow up in a smaller town and only know escalators from malls, you just don't have this knowledge.
This is a world wide phenomenon. It happened to me within the borders of my rather small home country (which is Austria btw.).
I guess, I've experienced these stages ... kinda all of at once, since I came to Germany without knowing any of the language. There were huge language barriers, I was struggling with learning people, their country and culture, and yet I stayed! :)
Thank you for this amazing video and your mom's wisdom! On point! :)
Hi Dana! I love your videos, mostly because of your emotional side! You gesture so much (and funny sometimes ;-) )
and your speaking is full of feels. I love it!
Where I read the comments of "Wolke 7" or "cloud 9" or whatever youre on:
How do you like the music that is playing in the radio in germany? As there are many german-language songs playing
I would like to see a video of you what you think about it (and feels of course! ;-) )!
Greets to Munich
+Pozni Pracker Thanks so much!! Glad to hear you're enjoying the videos and thanks for the nice comment. I love the music here in Germany. I really do!! There are some American songs, and I like that because it keeps "up to date" on what's going on over there, but there are also German songs and other songs from around Europe that I wouldn't normally be exposed to in the U.S. I enjoy Peter Fox and "exciting" German music but also calmer songs like Wolke 4 and Lieblingsmensch.
l actually moved to the US from Germany because of my dads work and then moved back again 4 years later (but to a different place than before). so I skipped the honeymoon phase - I already knew the culture and the rules - and I had my parents there to help me out if I didn't. my main problem was school, I could speak german very well - but I couldn't read or write and I was behind on maths. AND they wanted me to learn cursive and write with a fountain pen. so I was supposed to learn all that in one (extremely long) summer in the middle of nowhere where I knew NOBODY (except my family). so now my personal phases:
1) anger and sadness and frustration:
I was not happy that I had to leave my friends and everything I knew, so this was basically my first reaction
2) loneliness and seclusion:
I didn't know anyone, I didn't have much to do, sooo... my solution was reading all the harry potter books over and over and over...(and over and over and over and over) until I practically knew them by heart (I may not have read the books the most but I think I might have a chance at getting a medal a most-reads-in-shortest-space-of-time). I am not really proud of this as it is now impossible for me to read the books due to over-reading. (i still sometimes listen to the audiobooks though)
3) acceptance:
what can I do about it? I have to start accepting that we're here for good.
4) NO I WILL MOST CERTAINLY NOT:
yeah right. I am not moving again. never. never ever.
5) oh fine...
6) grudging acceptance:
at least it's nicer in this german town than in the other german town. and my room is bigger.
I did refuse to learn a completely different type of cursive all over again. and I refused to write with a fountain pen. and I refused to resume piano lessons. because leverage.
7) normal new school phase:
meeting new people, more catching up, establishing friends and enemies etc.
8) back to normal:
my grades started picking up again until I had pretty much straight 1s (or As for anyone who doesn't know) and I went on to the Gymnasium with most of my friends. this is my home now and looking back on it, I'm glad we moved or I would have never met many wonderful people...
+Jade Oh man, that sounds really tough, picking up and moving back to Germany during school and then trying to catch up with everything all alone in one summer. We moved from New England (Connecticut) down to South Florida one summer when I was a kid and I thought that was hard, and I didn't even have to learn a new language or a different kind of writing or anything like that.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience moving back to Germany! Nice to hear that you feel at home again now :)
thank you for taking the time to read my XXL comment and replying :)
my wife and I moved to China and we quickly moved to stage 2 and have maintained that for the past few years. Longing to leave China which we will do in 6 weeks. In Europe we (or at least I) can blend in as a caucasian - in China I will always be a foreigner. For that reason we are going back to USA and then to Middle East where I' will be teaching. This brings up a point - how would your experience in Germany been if you were not white but African American or Asian or another person of color. Interesting videos!
I love your videos. I can relate to so many things that you mention in them. The first seven years of my life I was a military brat that moved between Germany and the US a couple of times.
After my parents got divorced in 1986, I moved back to Germany with my mom and had to learn German again because I forgot everything during my last stay in the US. I can't remember if I went through all five emotional stages back then but I probably did. I can recall that I wanted to destroy my German elementary school because I hated it so much.
Between 1991 and 2010, I went back to the US for six short visits, which were between three and six weeks long. Every single time I experienced a culture shock and sometimes I also went through some of the emotional stages that you talked about.
So why were you moving to Europe in the first time ?
My Question: Do you now use the " European" Keyboard standard ( qwertz) or still the american (qwerty) ?
+Urban Major qwertz is the German keyboard, other European countries (i.e. France) have other layouts.
But I'd also be interested in what Dana's original reason for moving to Europe (instead of just visiting it) were. So +Wanted Adventure please tell us!
Qwertz is no European keyboard standard. Depends on the language, mostly. There's also qwerty anf azerty, at least.
+Víktor Bautista i Roca and then there's the cyrillic keyboard...
***** a) there are much more than 27 European nations.
b) at least France and Belgium use AZERTY; Germany, Austria and Switzerland QWERTZ; Lituania, something similar to AZERTY. Then you have Bulgarian, Russian and Serbian cyrilic keyboards and the Greek one. So, lots of different keyboard dispositions.
***** And then, there is Dvorak.
Cloud 9 tanslates to Wolke 7.
Quite weird we change the numbers. More murrican supersizing haha :D
In Poland we say "I' am in 7th heaven" which means "I'm on cloud 9" /"I'm over the moon".
I really liked this video, thanks for sharing :)
YES. I completely agree with you 100%!
My stages in moving to Prague from Canada were:
1. A lot of uncertainty
2. A brief "romance" stage which came mainly from the fact that I could be independent from my family and make new friends, but also involved discovering the architecture, culutre, food, etc.
3 A stage where I had little time to worry about the culture etc as I was occupied with getting a visa, a daunting and at times traumatic process
4. A stage when I settled in and tried to make the best of it but kept experiencing culture shock on different levels
5. A stage where I felt disillusioned and just bitched about everything.
6. I finally came to a level position like what you said in the end, each country has its advantages and disadvantages. Although there are Canadian things that I will always miss here, I can appreciate some things about Czech life and find that in the past 12 years, Prague has improved on quite a few levels.
As someone who moved to Munich last year, I can absolutely relate to this XD
Stage 5 is the stage you most probably will stay in. I moved from Holland to Greece (Greek wife) and even after all these years (18 years now in Greece) I still have this feeling about some things being better in Greece and some things being better in Holland. You only have this feeling because you can compare, if you don't leave the country you are born in, you can't compare. And a small holiday doesn't count, you have to live in another country to make a comparison.
How funny, I exactly went trough these 5 stages as well when I spent a school year in the US as a foreign exchange student last year! :D Don't worry, I know how feeling like an alien far away from home feels like haha... But I have to say I felt even more like a stranger when I came back to Germany ''americanized''!!
Thanks for sharing your experiences, I'm still trying to figure out how to stop annoying everyone with criticizing the german way of life since then. :D
+Malte Schulz hahaa yes, I definitely know what you mean about feeling lost in your own country. I also have that in certain aspects of life when I go back to the U.S. to visit. And often just when I'm getting back in the swing of things and used to life there again....it's time to go back to Germany, of course! :)
When I moved from Brazil to the US I experienced something different from everything you mentioned. It was like I was born there, everything felt right with the exception of food, but that wasn't a big deal. I felt bad because I heard many people saying how much they missed home, and I didn't feel it at all. But then, it was only one year and I knew I'd come back. Maybe things would have been different if I had stayed longer.
On the other hand, I'm still having a hard time readjusting to my home country.
+Hello Rusty Very interesting to hear about your experience abroad! Well, I'm happy to hear you enjoyed your time in the U.S.!! :) But sorry that you're having trouble readjusting to life in Brazil :/ I definitely feel you there. I haven't moved back to the U.S. since living here, but whenever I go back for vacation I find it takes time to get used to certain aspects of life there.
To be honest you can have that kind of emotional stages even within Germany. Me for example I moved from the south to the north and the cultural shock was feelable
Dana, when u got into the culture shock in Germany, did you miss your home in US or in Prague? By the way, your hair is very pretty xD
+Bruno T That's a great question!! I'm planning a video where I talk a little about that, but basically I would say at first I missed Prague -- when I first moved to Munich my culture shock was missing the friends and home I'd just made for myself in Prague and I compared my new life in Munich to my "old" life in Prague. But in the longterm it was mostly America I missed and compared to Germany, but still with a tinge of Prague in the background :D haha
Your Mom told you good but it was excellent. I will keep that in mind when I travel and hopefully, one day, live abroad.
The escalator one is the same in Los Angeles too... drives me crazy when people do that wrong!
I really enjoy your videos, and about 30 years ago I went to Texas for mostly the same reason, for adventure and for getting married. It wasn`t the best experience and I came back to Germany 7 month later. The first emotional stage lasted just 1 month, but I wasn`t confused about the culture because there were so many diffenrent cultures and traditions where I lived that I fit in most perfect and I learned about american culture in school. What confused me was that even though there were so many cultures everybody thought the own culture where the best and only way to live no matter what culture they belong to, whether mexican ,black, white , german, korean , christian or jews or what so ever, everybody sticked to his people and somekind hated the others. I got homesick as well but I didn`t take the time to get along with everything and didn`t make myself at home for different reasons. But after 30 years I try to imagine what it would be like if I had stayed in the states and I started making friends with people overseas and other parts of the world. The differences are not that big at all not bigger than living in Munich or Hamburg, it`s just a thing of acceptance and self-confidence, because there is nothing wrong or right about how to do things, not here in Germany nor in the US or any other place in the world.
your american accent it's soooo prety cute
What I've experienced that you didn't mention is fatigue. The stage where you are able to follow conversations in pubs but you really have to pay attention and concentrate. Everything appears to take more energy and I was constantly tired. I experienced this when I moved to Britain, after the "honeymoon" stage. I had been living in the U.K. before, which could be the reason why I did not experience all of the stages but got honeymoon, fatigue, and leveling-out.
I went through the classical stages of culture shock in the US. By the time I had finally fully arrived though, I'd manadged to fully immerse myself in the language, too - much to the dismay of my parents when I talked with them on the phone and only used short, simple german sentences, wanting to switch back to english, because the words came to me so much easier then the german ones... :)
The most shocking thing about cultur shock as I've experienced it was that nobody had thought to warn me that I might have one going back, too. It was easier and faster, true, but the first months back I was once again on an emotional roller coaster, between 'I missed everone and everything sooo much, it's so awesome here' and 'why can't I go back, everything's so much better in the US'.
+pieniaurinko hahaa yes, I know what you mean with the language! I don't have that to such an extent, but there are definitely words that I only know in German now, because I've only experienced the things here, and when I try to tell my parents about it, I struggle.
And I also agree with you about reverse culture shock. I've never moved back to the US from here, but even when I just go for vacation it takes some readjusting to the culture and ways there.
Wanted Adventure
Yeah, it's an interesting phenomenon, I think. Even if you know the right words in theory, once you experienced, thought about and discussed something in a certain language, it's always easier to reiterate in that same language. Our brains are lazy, so they like to take the same already established connections and create shortcuts. That doesn't work (as easily) if you switch languages - at least that's my guess, based on what little I know about how the human brain works.
Nice to hear others experience that, too. I'm not sure how common it is, but it's probably a good thing to warn people about.
You explained the exact same things I went through when I moved from Australia to Germany 5 years ago, except of course for me asking my mum to ship me 12 cartons of milk :p
I really enjoy watching your videos! Having gone through this "culture shock" experience once I moved to the US as a German I can totally relate - even though the other way round ;-) ! Is there a video about why you decided to move to Germany rather than living in the US? Thank you, you're great!!
+Alena RosyBelle Thanks so much Alena!! I'm happy to hear you enjoyed the video and could relate to it :) :) I haven't made a video about that yet, but I'm planning on it! :D
Thank you so much. I'm pondering .. :)
I’m 34 and
I lived my whole life in Germany, still I never realized there was a certain
way to use an escalator. Last year when I visited the USA (mainly NYC and
Washington D.C.) I was introduced to the idea that you only stand on the right.
Until I watched your video I thought that was only common in the US but since
you described it the other way round I guess I was wrong.
Now I
realized that there aren’t many escalators in my hometown and the ones we have are
located mainly in malls and even there I usually don’t use them. In the US I
used the subway all the time so I guess it is common all around the world to
only stand on the right if the place has a subway system or something similar.
Btw I love
your videos, keep up the good work!
I'm in Germany, and I miss sincerity very much. In my home country, people are much more direct in telling you what they feel about you or your action. Either through verbal or non-verbal communication. I was able to react to that, and immediately change my behavior accordingly if something was up.
In Germany, I constantly got the feedback that everything is as good as it could possibly be, to then be avoided and communication interrupted, with no plausible motive given. Maybe other factors were actually involved, but where I'm from, communication is much more direct and personal.
I'm talking about job interviews.
Where I'm from, if I failed a job interview I know about it immediately without them announcing it, and even if I do fail it, we can still keep connections, so favors can be exchanged, network expanded, so I can recommend someone else who is better qualified for a certain thing, while they can refer me to someone else. It's the same when I turn down job proposals. If we got along really well, we can even hang out at a beer a year after the interview, if time permits, just to have a nice exchange of experience. And if someone thinks that this is bad when you have to fire someone from a job, or quit, I say that not really. I had fired a guy, explained why I'm doing it, and we're now both better off, and nobody holds any grudge. I keep good relations to every person who actually cared about collaboration. This gives me a wide network of colleagues that can help me find a contract, or a person to hire, or anything.
I miss this personal touch.
Great video!
When I was living in the US for almost one year I think I felt the same, but for some reason not in that order. At first I did not like it at all, I thought everything is better in Germany and just a few months before I had to leave I was in that "Honeymoon-Stage" and did not want to leave again.
Maybe you could make a video about the Kneipen-Kultur here in Germany? I never found any bar or whatever thats even close to a good old dirty Kneipe here in Germany.
+Franziska Laum Thanks Franziska! Really interesting to hear about your "opposite" experience. I can definitely see how that could happen. Sometimes it takes time to warm to a new place. As for the Kneipen, that's so true!! Also in most parts of the U.S. we don't have that special cafe-culture that Germany does. I love the cafe-culture here :) (I think in New York they also have a lot of cafes, but New York is a special part of the U.S. lol).
I guess a lot of the frustration is caused by exhaustion. When I spend a long time in an English-speaking environment I get fatigued by listening to people speaking English all the time. The moment you lower your concentration, everything turns into white noise, especially if the English are primarily talking to each other. So you either have to be on your toes all the time or let the conversation pass you by. That's what I noticed, anyway, it's simply exhausting.
I grew up in France and have been living abroad for a while now and I think that especially here in Denmark there is nothing I miss more than the food. Every time I go home, I comeback with plenty of food in my suitcase. Who would have thought that some countries would do something as silly as banning unpasteurised cheese forcing us to have to source it back home?!
I discovered weird stuff like having to buy fruits and veg in a supermarket which is still for me an oddity as I always bought my produce from farmers markets.
Sorry for the escalators, I plead guilty for being this speedy Parisian getting annoyed at tourists standing on the left of the escalator or walking slowly in the middle of the sidewalk when I am late for work or an appointment. Even now that I live in sleepy relaxed Copenhagen, each time I go home this comes back to me as second nature.
+Aldona Straczek yes!! Throughout the years in Europe, food in general has been one of the big things I've missed. I think it's because especially when I'm having a hard time, there are certain comfort foods I want. And then when I can't get them here, it just makes it even harder for me! It's like, well if I could just have this or that food, it would make all the other culture shock ok :D
As for the escalators, no problem ;) actually, now that I know the rule, I love it!
I keep shifting through stages, it's like I can't stabilize in one phase. I moved from Europe to USA 2 years ago, and I understand ALL the emotions you went through, because they keep reappearing in me! :D I guess it will still take time to get to the final stage of acceptance.
How did you manage getting a visa for staying longer than 3 months?
TJGermany work visa, company sponsored.
komandantData you must be some gifted individual 😀
When I spend my three months in China, the initial excitement stage was really short (maybe two days), followed by one or two weeks of utter confusion, followed again by excitement. It eventually blended into a "everything is better in China" stage. I never experienced the missing home (except for friends and family of course) stage or even the levelling out. I still think Hangzhou is the most awesome place in the world and that closed grocery stores on Sundays suck :D
+Rachel Fernandez I STILL have not gotten used to stores being closed on Sunday lol I mean, of course I know they'll be closed, but it still seems to sneak up on me sometimes :) or living in Munich where things close at 8 p.m. I often realize at 8:01 that I am craving something to eat xD
My first real big trip overseas, I did a lot of countries and probably was in 'wow' stage a lot and then just 'homesick' stage. I think I just missed my dogs though. After about 5 Europe trips though I don't really miss home, maybe if you're in a town or country that's not that great you just want out of there but don't need to go home as such. But I'm thinking of moving there too so interesting what you said.
My stay in the USA was no longer than 3 weeks, then again 6 weeks - but that was when being in a long-distance relationship with an American woman (yay for the internet age).
So by no means long enough to go through several emotional stages but still: the biggest surprise was how much I learned about Europe and Germany seeing both from the outside, and also how many preconceptions I had and my fellow countrypeople have of which just all are wrong. The image of the USA us Europeans have is based heavily on the US's foreign policy plus a lot of obsolete stereotypes from Karl May books and just plain misunderstandings (Americans have no culture, just look at how nasty our local McDonalds is......). Most Germans go to the USA just to see a) New York Central Park b) Las Vegas c) Route 66 d) San Francisco etc.etc., their whole mind is set exclusively to what they already used to fancy this country for before they got there. Speaking for me, I never got out of that boring lesser known city where my then girlfriend lived but I wasn't there as a tourist, I was a part of her family and I had to realize over and over how little we know about Americans as they really are and how unfairly negative we picture them.
Anyways, the longer I stayed the deeper the cultural differences seemed to me (cue debate on American vs. German approach to religion... just one example) and also, that beside all differences between European countries there's actually a lot of common ground in general European culture opposed to America - if only as simple as: while in the US, the car breaks down and we're stuck in the neighborhood, the only store in walking distance is Walgreens vs. while in Europe, the car breaks down, doesn't matter, we can always get anywhere and hey, why do I know how to use gear when I don't even own a car?....
Soooo, bottom line America changed my views on both continents a lot and even made me appreciate Germany as my home country more, as for pros and cons I agree both countries equal up.
Oh and I just have to add this: one of the craziest experiences in the US was being at a German people meeting and the food was sooo good, real old German cuisine like my grandmas used to do it while right here in Germany it seems to have died out. Germans are crazy in embracing exotic food, everything has to be Indian, Arabian, Afghan, whatever... When my ex said I'd have to take her out eating in Germany I was automatically thinking of my fave Italian and Greek restaurants before it dawned on me she wanted authentic German food :D And don't ask for that moment when I had to tell my German bandmates my girlfriend says we write great songs but we suck at English lyrics so we should change them to German...;)
I am living in Spain for several months, but until now (4 months) I just left out the Frustration-Stage :D
Maybe because I have known Spain pretty well before and because I have a German supermarket nearby ^^ That is really helpful!
Prag - Munich might be just 4 hours, but hey, you're crossing what used to be the Iron Curtain in those 4 hours. A couple of years earlier you would have moved to an entirely different political and economical system. Things grow together in the EU (luckily), but not that fast (and the language barrier slows it down even more).
kannst du mal in einem Video Deutsch sprechen? Das fände ich voll lustig und interessant.
👍 Tolles Video
Yeah, i think that'll be awesome😉
+Sophie Smile Ja das wär cool
+Jan Keuper thx
🙌🙌
I moved to Spain from a Latinamerican country, and even when both regions share the same language, it's incredibly frustrating to find out you can't communicate quite as easily as you thought you'd be able to. I actually went through a phase, along with the frustration and confusion phase, in which I just disliked what everyone did. I just didn't like their customs, their food, the way they speak and interact with strangers (which just seemed incredibly rude to me) and silly things like that. I got over it though, I actually enjoy those things now. It does get better, and being homesick is just something you'll have to deal with, as it comes in waves, but you learn how to cope, eventually.
I realize noone is reading these comments anymore, but I am just watching and for "best coffee" there is a picture of starbucks... oh my god... hope that was irony.
+Jane Doe FINALLY!!!!! Finally someone noticed that 😂😂😂 I put it in as a joke because if I had wanted that coffee I could have just stayed in the US. I thought I'd get hundreds of comments about it, but nobody seemed to notice! I'm so excited you did. Made my morning :)
You mean they don't have Starbucks in Prague?
Ha, well, I chuckled to myself a bit if that helps.
I was really puzzled by that as well, just now.
Haha! I noticed and also hoped it was irony, especially when you consider the amount of nice cafes in Prague!
The escalator custom was not new to me. I knew this in the US, too. I think trying to learn the language better, the notice of the water being turned off would be more apparent. If there is a notice, I try to read it and translate it if I don't understand. I think maybe it's easier to interpret German than Czech, maybe.
Your mom had wonderful advice. :-)
I stayed in england for 7 months when I was 14. I left in January but in december my sister got diagnosed with breast cancer so I was really scared I would see her for the last time on christmas so I used to cry alot for that reason and for general homesickness. I met a really nice person from around three hours away from my place in germany and we mastered speaking denglisch together. We should have spoken more english, I know :D every weekend we used to do something, like going to bigger citys, to the cinema, or just going swimming in Torbay. So at the weekends I was really happy, but in the schooltime I couldn't really enjoy myself that much.Afterwards I'm pretty disapointed of myself. Until like easter break I always wanted to go home earlier but afterwards, when I finally arrived the time was running pretty fast. But I think after the journey I mainly cried of joy, because I saw my whole family again and both of my sisters :)
But afterwards I felt so empty. after any big and exiting thing my normal life is so boring!
This experience with england has left me with general "reisefieber". I really want to travel so much and I've considered living in different countries for the rest of my life. :D
+Obstgeist7 I experiences the confusion stage pretty much in my hostfamily. didn't really got along with them (but I was to scared? to tell the organisation) because plenty of times they thought I was rude, but I didn't even know why.... And I think my hostfather made all germans responsible for WW2 or something, at least he looked at me as if he did....
love your vids! Keep them coming. greetings Jonas
+Jonas Mieth thanks Jonas!! :)
haha the escalator thing reminded me of one of the first escalator rides in the airport after a week in münchen. I noticed me (and my family) all stood automatically to the right of the escalator... this was the first time I realised it, but we'd probably been doing it throughout the airport before not noticing! I thought it was quite funny!
Actually good point on the can of beans. I thought I was being smart by finally keeping all the plastic bottles to return to the supermarket in Germany so I'd collect some Euros, only to find out the machine would take almost none of them.
3:21 the "escalator rule" is a thing in the US, too. I used to get SO PISSED at ppl on the DC Metro escalators who didn't know the rules and got in my way - mostly because they were completely oblivious to the growing group stuck behind them.
Greetings from Germany! :)
Great video Dana :) Your mother sounds very wise too! I'm curious as to when you first moved to Europe was there a big culture shock in terms of going from Imperial measurements in the US to right into Metric in Europe? Eg a 40° day in the US would be fairly cold but in Europe a 40° day would be a scorcher! Or having to use metres instead of feet. Things like that! Cheers.
Thank you Alan!! :) Happy you liked it. And yes, I definitely had a hard time switching to metric and Celsius. And now 6 years later I actually have no idea what Fahrenheit temperatures mean anymore!!! lol But I still struggle with metric...I know "how" it works and it's of course much simpler to understand, but if someone says something is 16 meters away, I still have trouble picturing how far exactly that is. I made a video that mentions that, that you might enjoy! :D Things Expats Say :) :) th-cam.com/video/CNh_-dsm0Fc/w-d-xo.html
+Wanted Adventure You're welcome Dana! I watched the video you linked and liked it of course :D Ah! I see you've retained your American spelling of "metre" haha Here in Ireland imperial is used to measure the weight of a baby and only for that. You'd hear of a baby being 8 lbs for example but never as 3½kilos or whatever that measurement is even though everything else is metric (signs, temperature, length, distance etc). Bizare isn't it? Anyway, I'd more questions I wanted to ask but now I can't remember them! Typical eh?Haha 🙈🙈
+Samara V Hamilton I actually have no idea. It seems to be just with weights because I was actually talking to someone about this and they were saying it's not at all uncommon to have someone state their weight in stones and lbs. This might be due to the fact a lot of content in Ireland (especially those revolving around fitness and weight loss) come from England which still uses Imperial so although officially we use metric for everything, in real world terms stones/lbs is sometimes used along side it for weights!
Watching U.S. news broadcasts reinforces a perpetual stage 4 for me.
As a German living in California, there are a few things I miss, but overall I am much happier here.
What I do miss is German bakeries, ham without sugar, (in general: why is there sugar in absolutely everything here in America?), Fleischsalat, Broetchen, Mettwurst (the one to spread on bread), white aspargus, but most of all: Doener Kebab - German style.
Except for the Doener, I have found places that sell a few of these things, but not the Doener yet even though some falafels have come close.
Also, what I miss are the disciplined German drivers. If people in the US obeyed the same keep right at all time except to overtake rule as in Germany, you could fit 3x the traffic on the roads. Speaking about driving, what is really weird is that sometimes when driving, I forget I am in California as thanks to mobile internet and bluetooth, I listen to German radio stations in my car.
So many feels. I get it. This makes me me feel so bad after being home for Thanksgiving. Not your video, but wanting to be home again. My mother has asked me so many times, "When are you moving back?" I don't have an answer. So many things make me think that living in Europe is much more sensible. Housing, healthcare, etc. But, my family is in the US. How do you get by without family? This part makes me sad. There is no right answer.
+sabrinah888 I feel you!! When I moved to Europe 7 years ago I just kind of stood up and left, and didn't really think about the consequences. Of course I LOVE living here, but it is hard that if I'm here, spending time with my German family, I have to miss my American family and vice versa. I watch the TH-cam videos of an American living in Japan, and she recently put out a really great video on the topic that sums up some of my feelings: th-cam.com/video/EPtUkinEXCQ/w-d-xo.html
+Wanted Adventure Crap. Made me cry, In a good way.
Hey Dana, I really like your channel! I'm also thinking about moving to another city/country. :-) do you prefer Prague or Munich? I've never been in Prague but I've been in Munich already and I really like the city.
Hi Dana,
I'm wondering why didn't you give up and went back to america in your sad stages? Sounds like pretty frustrating time in these stages...
+Marvin Winkler ahhh you already met your Mr. Germanman :D
+Marvin Winkler That's a good question! Actually I met Mr. German Man after I was already doing better. I stayed because...well, because I knew that's where I wanted to live lol as hard and challenging as it was, I wanted to live in Europe in a city with hundreds of years of history, with castles nearby and Italy, Spain, France, the Netherland, etc. a short flight away. I just knew I wanted to live there :)
I was born and raised in Switzerland until I was nine years old. Then we moved from Switzerland to Germany because of a job opportunity of my dad. And when you are forced to move to another country, you go through a totally different stage. It is hate. I hated everything about the new place. I felt lonely and every little thing was just pissing me off. Sorry... but it discribes my feelings. After a few weeks, the school began and then I met some new people. They became my friends and suddenly all my sorrows and the hate was gone. Now... the difference between germany and switzerland aren't that big...but enough to let there be a small insecureance. I was totally leveled, but I felt that I didn't belonged there. So I've decided to go back to Switzerland. My dad wasn't my opinion, of course. So I had to wait until I turned 18.
It was my plan to go...but you know. Destiny is a mean bitch.
My mom died when I was 16. So I had to replace her in the family runned italian restaurant business. I had to be there for my daddy.
When I turned 18 I was in the middle of my apprenticeship (Lehre) and in a relationship with a boy and of course an important part of the restaurant team. No chance and no thoughts for moving.
But there was this tiny whispering voice in my head...
When I broke up the relationship a few months before my graduation I was again in the moving mood. But then...I met a new guy. I know...so silly.
He told me that he loves me and that he will follow me wherever I want....but...I have to wait. He had a contract at the german army, the Bundeswehr, for 12 years, and he only had done 2 of it. And so I've asked him whem his last day of work would be regarding the contract. He said that it would be the 30.06.2013. And I said, ok...I wait until this date and then we go. And so we did. :)
We're living now in Switzerland since 04.07.2013.
During the time I had to wait I went through all these stages. And now back in Switzerland, which was my goal for such a long time, I go through them again. I think there will be stages all your life. And the mean thing is, you can't run away from them. Once you've changed your mind, the "place" will never be what you have seen in it when you left. And there will be something you hate, love, miss in every place in the world. It's a what we call "Teufelskreis".
+Sheilyn Thanks so much for sharing your moving experiences! You make an excellent point there, that sometimes once you get what you've been waiting for, it'll be different & that once you change your mind and thoughts a place will "change" as well. Yes, I've definitely experienced that many times in my life. Thanks to German for giving me a word for it!! :)
I really liked this video :)
A total unrelated note: Praha. I have not been in Praha since like 25 years. How is the city these days? It used to be so very charming, full of regional products, very polite and controlled organized crime, and chlebíčky everywhere.
I heared it did became a very modern city these days. How is it these days?
+Traumglanz I actually just got back from a quick little trip there, and I will say that I noticed things have even changed a lot in the past 6 years since I moved to Munich. It has become more touristy, but really only in the main downtown area, Charles Bridge, etc., but as soon as I wandered a couple streets away from the main squares, it gets quiet once more :)
To me everything is still charming though :) I will always be in love with the city. I didn't notice any chlebíčky this trip, although even six years ago they really only seemed to pop up right around Christmas or Easter. Now the "thing" is trdelnik. They were EVERYWHERE. Six years ago there was ONE trdelnik stand, now they were really everywhere. I guess they're just getting more popular in general, because I've also noticed them popping up more in Munich too.
Something lovely that I noticed is that Prague is getting more very delicious international food and the streets are getting cleaned up more -- not as much dog poop or other trash lying around.