I understand so much of this. Left 5 years ago. Had a realization in singles ward. Bothered by the temple. Bothered by the nature of God the way it was taught in the mormon church. Thought maybe I'll go back someday. And then I learned about the CES letter, down the rabbit hole I went, and now I have plenty of reasons to never go back. Thank you for sharing your story.
After 5 years, you would expect healthy adults to have moved on...not you. Here you still are, pathetically bashing a faith you claim to have rejected half a decade ago. Sad.
EXACTELY! And this channel is a cult. It has its followers validating the lies, faith destruction, slander and make a pretty penny $$$from it. The Church of Jesus Christ believes agency is a foundational principle. No one is forced or manipulated into belonging. Just because a religion has standards(that you can choose to follow or not) does not make it a cult. Jesus Christ taught that “if ye love me ye will take up your cross and follow me.” He also says if ye love me “keep my commandments.” He says that faith requires action. You can call it oppressive or restrictive, but it is not a cult. Members with eyes to see, find joy and happiness and are better people for having standards. Selfishness and “anything goes” “do whatever makes you feel good” mentality can and usually does leads to sadness and eventual suffering. And wearing a tank top and t-shirt is perfectly fine. Some people choose to put God before fashion. (No one is better for their choices, it’s personal preference).
How anyone in the Mormon church can find your content offensive is a mystery to me, but what you are saying and how you are saying it is extremely powerful. You are helping many people to break free from destructive cults.
I'm currently stepping away and it has been very isolating. My family is still under the belief that I am a selfish sinner for leaving and that has been very difficult for me. Thank you for sharing your story. Its comforting to know I'm not alone.
We are all sinners. And self care ≠ selfishness. I’m sorry you feel so alone with your questions and bewilderment. For what it is worth, I believe that Jesus Christ knows our pain and confusion. I hope you can find your way to turn to Him. Good luck on your journey. ❤️
Sometimes I really wish I left as early as you. I left 4 years ago at 33. Did the temple, did the mission, temple marriage, did the “provider” education and career path and had kids young. I have no regrets about leaving. Thanks for sharing your story. I also love the intellectual and spiritual freedom that has come from leaving. It’s great to not feel shame about being curious 😅 now I am really making up for lost time and having a blast.
I’m SO happy you made the decision to question mormonism and get the hell outta there. Like you said, the freedom to be yourself and explore is unlike any other feeling once you’ve broke free of the constraints of a high demand religion/cult. Welcome to my channel! Thanks for your support!
I renounced God and all his evil works 25 years ago. The realisation it was all utter bollocks took a great weight off my shoulders. Now my charity work is because I want to, not because it is demanded of me
Leaving at 33 is better than leaving at 43...or 53! Congratulations on mustering the strength and courage - because it takes both. Using that strength and courage, I have no doubt that great things are ahead for you! Wishing you all the best in your life adventures moving forward!
My wife was 20 when we got married. The Marriage lasted 15 years and 4 kids later. For at least 14 of those years I knew I had not made a good choice, but at the time it was pretty much the only way I could have sex. My libido is pretty high. This is what damage the purity culture does to members. I then had kids way too soon as I was just a student at college hence I never really did have enough money to support them all. So much pain came from following the prophets advice. Now I am out of the church bringing up my kids on my own and it is soooo great. I can now have quality time with my kids and my relationship with them is so much better because of it because I am actually there for them.
Hi Michael! Thank you for sharing! Ahh yes, purity culture. I did a whole episode on it with @exmolex. I'm sorry for what you had to go through and I'm SO happy that you have found your way out of it and are cultivating even stronger relationships with your kids. Congrats on finding peace and happiness outside of a high control group.
@@CultstoConsciousness Thanks so much for your kind words. It is hard to include a whole lifetime of experience in a short paragraph. I have been really very thankful to people like yourself that are there to help others through sometimes very dark places :)
Thanks for leaving voluntarily...we would have thrown you out eventually. You were just a poser in the church anyway. Take your libido and enjoy the unaccountable life you chose.
Oh yes rushing to get married just to have sex. When young men can control their sexual urges and use their big head they can achieve a whole lot. As a person as myself that couldn’t get many dates. I had no choice but to find a way to live life with abstinence. Now I’m older I will dismiss any woman who disrespects me. I just focus on hobbies and interests and really don’t have any desire to date.
@@brianwaller7383listen carefully to these stories. Women have just as strong a sex drive as men. Not sure your way is the right way for everyone, but I’m very happy you’ve found peace in your life.
Hey I started binge watching your podcast interviews a couple days ago and I'm genuinely so proud of you for getting out and sharing it with us. I have to admit tho, that when you started talking about the holistic kin that helped you "recover" trauma memories. Then you talked about the coincidence with the Gaia documentary and ending up being picked. And seeing it as divine timing.... I gotta be honest, I feel like the whole new age spirituality / holistic healing industry is kinda like a cult itself. Be safe ❤
Hi Luna, I agree that mysticism can get culty. And a lot of people push back on that story. This is what I’ll say to that. That odd way of recovering memories has helped me make sense of so much of my childhood. Memories that would later be confessed to by my abuser. So even though it doesn’t sit well with some, it truly changed the trajectory of my life. I can honestly say this channel wouldn’t exist without it. Thank you for your concern.
@@CultstoConsciousness If it feels right to you in a critical way of thinking, then it's great and I'm happy that you found something that helped you. My concern came from my lived experience with my sister who refuses mental health treatment because she thinks she's so kind of spiritual genuis and she doesn't want to face the truth of reality. She lives in a fantasy world she created for herself and uses spirituality to defend her actions. This creates a very toxic and abusive environment for her kids and it breaks my heart. So many ex cult members fall for new age spirituality and they can become delusional very fast if they are not self aware (which doesn't seem to be your case). There are also a lot of grifters and abusers in that space. But i'm sure you're alreary aware of it🙂
I finally left at 60! I was mentally out for years and years after finding out the true history of the church and the manipulation in talks ect! Good job getting out. I feel your story and I’m so glad my kids are out young 🙏🥳. And they are amazing beautiful wonderful people. The church is the wolf in sheep’s clothing!
I lost so many lifelong friends when I left the church, even though they had been my friends when I wasn't a member before joining. I felt like their friendship had been a means to recruit me. Yeah, they considered it "saving" me, but still...
I know it can feel like they only befriended you to recruit you, but it's important to remember how pressured people are to not associate with apostates, so they likely loved you for you the whole time they're just not allowed to anymore without facing scrutiny themselves. The friendships were still real, and you were still valid. Never forget that you were and always will be worthy of those relationships even if you lost them due to their fear or your freedom.
When you tell your friends that you reject and despise their honestly held religious beliefs, shit happens. Did you expect them to embrace your apostasy? Give you a hug?
My mom (3rd gen mormon) had me convinced that every single person who wasnt mormon was leading a more miserable life than we were simply because they weren't mormon. Like our shit was bad, but leaving held a threat of it being worse. It held me to it in fear a very long time after i knew that i wanted no part in the religious side. Its very hard to overcome the thought loop that breaking the rules has caused every bad thing thats happened to me since i left. Mormonism bestowed me with severe ocd 🙏 thank you god
@@johnlee1352yes! Thank them for pointing out what hurt them so you have the opportunity to improve and be more Christlike! (Be that individually or as an organization). If you think you’re perfect with no room for improvement, you’ve missed your own point of being on Earth! ❤
I do not see how an Atheist alcoholic Anthony Bourdain from CNN, who Routinely used drugs & Ate exotic foods, traveled Nations & sampled prostitutes until he HUNG himself is some type of hero through the eternity of time which we all cannot escape from experience. Hopefully our eternities have fences dividing the punks from real humble non alcoholics.
I never though of an amusement park as something I would want my body to be. Amusement parks are kind of disgusting to me. (Regardless of any group’s religious beliefs) But to each his own.
I'm pretty old, but had a unique Mormon experience. I was born up in Wyoming where Mormons were active, but my parents were not rigorous, and neither were others in the sparsely populated area. Many just went to church on Sunday and the bar on Saturday. I was always a skeptic, yet gave it a hard try. It never took. I'm a naturalistic and skeptical person.
I lived in a small Wyoming town for 6 years. It was the bar on Friday night so church could be attended on Sunday. Im.not LDS but alot of our friends were.
Well, I guess that proves the point that she is not being truthful about Mormonism being a cult. If the Mormons you were surrounded by went to church on Sunday and the bar the next day.. they obviously had the ability to choose. This channel is sad. They use dishonesty to try and slander a wonderful thing. If you don’t want to practice religion, then walk away. But… these kinds of channels make a crap ton of money from their lies and slander… so hey, why not right?!
I have no idea how or why this video popped up on my feed, but I watched the entire thing. This is a very interesting and inspiring story, and I am glad you shared it with us. Thanks!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have recently left the Mormon church and everything you have said resonates with my story so well. Especially the push for perfection and never feeling good enough. This video had me in tears because of how much I relate. It’s so nice to feel validated in my experiences.
Hi Kellie. Welcome to my channel. I feel for you! Leaving is hard but so worth it. You might also like the two I’ve done with my mom. People have also commented on his relatable she is. Happy healing! ❤️
I've been hearing about psychedlics for years and how they can heal trauma and PTSD. I really appreciate that you shared your story about ayahuasca. I heard that California may legalize psychedelics. Imagine how many people could be helped. Thank you for doing this podcast. You have a peaceful presence that I appreciate.
Thank you! Yes they are making huge leaps in psychedelic studies for PTSD and depression. It’s only a matter of time before they are clinically offered.
Shelise, I really enjoyed the introduction to your new podcast. I am all in when it comes to being a listening participant to your upcoming episodes. It sounds extremely fascinating. I too was a part of the same church you spoke of. Working on deconstructing the mess.
The BITE Model of Authoritarian Control: Behavior Control Information Control Thought Control Emotional Control Though the Mormon Church does all these they still claim to not be a cult.
I think my problem is that the definition is too broad. The US government is a cult by this definition. No matter what group you affiliate with, you always have that group telling you how to think, feel, and act to some degree.
@Shaun Tagatauli Exactly. This channel exists to spread hatred and ambiguity of the LDS Church, by obfuscation the differences between the TWO different Mormon churches. It also uses that "BITE" measurement which can be applied to LITERALLY any political party and nation.
I remember the blood oaths as part of the temple ceremony. 20 years later I started to wake up and requested my name to be removed. Thanks for your important work and clarity.
Blood oaths? That would imply that there was shedding of blood to make these covenants and that never happened. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is God's and Jesus Christ one and only true church here on earth. We know and teach the Bible and gospel better than any other denomination. Join God and Jesus Christ in their Kingdom and join their true church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and learn all that they have to offer. Learn of their glory and mercy, learn of the plan they have of you.
Did you experience them? Or like me, just read about them? I went as a 13 or 14 year old to be there when my half sister was sealed to us. Everyone looked so weird haha but I wasn't exposed the actual endowment ceremony
Nope, I just heard about them. I'm a millennial and went through in 2011. But aside from the disturbing factor, I feel angry that we were never told. Or warned. And I also don't like that the "signs" are still echoes of the penalties.
You are a very brave and secure woman to speak of this in such a self disclosing manner. Thank you, it takes courage to talk about what you may see as errors in your life. Most of us are too proud and lack the self assurance to admit we led lives where we fooled ourselves.
The authenticity and sincerity with which you portray your life’s journey has to be beneficial to so many. I have been following your channel for only couple of months but just now found this beginning episode where you explain the details of your own personal journey. You are an exceptional communicator and are presenting some extremely important and relevant content. Thank you for the work you do and for your channel!
When I was in my early 20’s I was converted in. Not to happy to give up coffee and beer. But after I heard that “black people were not allowed in” before 1970’s I was like. Nope. Not my God. Who would do a thing as to not allow humans of any in. We are One. From source. Our path is ours. And I believe we grow on each journey here until we reach our highest. Great vid. Keep going.
i love your content but, you re so soothing, relaxing voice, inspiring, heartful, patient, caring, intuitive, right into the point but with love, you re as a person in itself an inspiration for me. thank you❤. love from barcelona
Thank you for sharing your story! Going through deconstruction myself, so very relatable. You are so courageous! You have a pure, beautiful soul! Very inspiring!
Here's an info dump from someone that spent years in the church without being a member of the church- and why I never joined! My mom converted to the LDS church the summer after my freshman year of high school. Even though I was never baptized, she made me go to that exhausting three-hour service every Sunday despite getting no sleep and having 8+ hours of homework on the weekends. She sent me to girl's camp every summer. She enforced the Mormon dating and dress standards on me. The only social activities I was allowed to attend were Mormon youth events at the local stake. But out of curiosity and a desire to belong, I gave my testimony on that one Sunday a month. I took that awful, sticky Wonderbread and water communion. I even (LOL) did baptisms for the dead (nobody remembered I wasn't baptized after awhile). I thought our local ward was very kind for the most part, but much of the doctrine seemed hinky. Worst of all was that "time and all eternity" shite. Clearly they aren't thinking of people that are stuck with abusive parents or in toxic family systems, because those missionaries could never answer basic questions about things like "will God make my mom treat me better if I get baptized?" Because of my mom I STILL get calls, texts, and invitations from the Relief society everywhere I go no matter how many times I move. Mainly I was stuck on "But I don't want 16 kids." "I don't know if I want to get married." "Why would God throw out billions of his own creation because they weren't LDS?" and all the other stuff that doesn't stand up to rational scrutiny. And don't even get me started on how creepy it is that they dictate your underwear. Then there's the impending disaster of bad marriages. You have to be a virgin before marriage while barely knowing the person, then go get married "for time and all eternity" and have sex with this person. What could go wrong? LOL Seriously, someone needs to do a video on how Mormons and the LDS church handle sexual incompatibility once you're already stuck together forever? Decades later, there is no way any God would insist on only one way of worshiping him/her. Love is unconditional. The church has it wrong. If God was ever going to speak to me and tell me to join the LDS after being intimately exposed to the doctrine and way of life for years, he'd have done it by now. I dodged a bullet.
New to your podcast, every episode I have watched so far is fantastic! I am thrilled to have your podcast as a helpful resource in my faith deconstruction. Thank you for your time and efforts in producing such beautiful episodes!
Thank you so much, Joel! I'm doing my best and I'm so happy to see my content being well-received and appreciated. Thanks for being here and for your support!
thank you so much for sharing your story, Im from south america, even when my life has been very diferent to yours, I relate to a lot of those feelings you experiencied (guilt, feeling like dirt, not listening to intuiton). I really wish that I could help other persons to get rid of religion and learn how to really know themselves.
Just watched episode 1. I just want to say thank you for sharing your story. I was amazed at how similar my experience is to yours. I'm 54 and currently peeling back the layers of my own mormon life. I, too, grew up in a small, mormon community in Northern Utah. I was a seminary president in high school. I served a mission to Chile. I never strayed very far from the church until I was "kicked out" of the single adult ward at 31. Lost my virginity at 32. My life from my mission to just recently had been a whirlwind of challenging events, to say the least. I'm a high school teacher and coach. I taught for 20 years in Utah until I was forced out... by the "powers that be" in my own hometown, where I had taught for 12 years of my career. I applied for jobs in 10 different states, but wound up in Oregon. What a difference making that move has been for me! Living outside the bubble and realizing all of the things that I've had to deal with in my life are things I want no part of anymore. I, too, have always been interested in ghost stories and the spiritual realm. I bought myself a tarot reading for Christmas this year and it basically predicted a complete change and view of how I would proceed in life. The medium sensed a huge conflict in me that I needed to confront and deal with before I could move ahead in this whole, completely new existence in my near future. I have come across a whole network of people like me via TH-cam, tiktok, podcasts, etc. that have had stories I've needed to hear. Again, thank you for your inspiring words.
Hi Lee! Thanks for sharing! It does sound like quite the whirlwind. Oregon has great people and I found it to be very accepting. I love that you are diving into your spirituality more. It’s a lot of fun! You may want to check out Kimber’s episode. Click on videos on my page then scroll to the bottom. I think she’s around episode 5 speaking on healing the inner child. Best of luck on your journey!
The best take away from this was "You hold all the answers within you. You hold all the power." This is SO true and I hate to look around and see so many people not realise that. Great video.
Hi, Shelise Ann. Thanks for your good work. I left the following on another TH-camr's channel, a courageous person who left the LDS, this week. I thought you might like it. Please keep offering your insight, for the world needs it. . . . ~KM "Thank you for your courage. I am one who appreciates what it takes to journey outward, leaving behind ties both familial and religious. I'm an American, 60, living in Southern Mexico (Villahermosa, Tabasco). Every few weeks, I meet LDS missionaries traversing on my little street, and occasionally I say hi, just to reacquaint myself with English and American culture. Their Spanish is better than mine, but my knowledge of Mexico and Mexicans greatly exceeds theirs. Most are from Utah, but a few, from elsewhere. They seem drawn to my American openness, but of course, that always leads to my politely telling them I am not interested in the Church of Latter Day Saints. I say a few things so they know I am not ignorant of the same. "And after 20 minutes of chatting about American football or whatnot, and maybe about good deep dish pizza, they move on. But here's my story -- I'm from San Jose, California. In 1980, I took an LDS girl to my junior prom. Let me tell you, she was beautiful; smart too. I was quite attracted to her. Before our prom date, I went to her house to meet her mom and dad. Her mom, who was from Sweden, was staunch LDS and immediately probed me about my receptivity towards Joseph Smith and the church. Her father was an elevated member who assisted the High Council in Salt Lake with projects or business interests. Anyway, these were upper-echelon Mormons -- not rich, but devout. The girl and I never had a second date. "About 18 years after our date, I ran into her in a grocery store in Colorado Springs, Colorado. She was of course married by then (with three beautiful children), but she invited me to her house, and we reconnected a little. Her husband was a successful computer engineer. I was going through a divorce at the time, and she even brought a gift basket over to my house for Thanksgiving and sat with me in my living room for an hour. But, she eventually realized that, no matter how kind she was, I wasn't interested in LDS. So, she disappeared again. Another 15 years slipped by. By then, I was in Mexico, but I was still in touch with one of her brothers (she had seven younger brothers -- she was the eldest and the only girl in the family). This brother was now a philosophy professor at a prominent Eastern university. I asked him how her sister was. He didn't say much but said she was OK, now a grandmother. "My life's hobby is philosophy, so I threw from my armchair a few things out at him about epistemology. And what I got from him was something similar to what this video is about -- all through his life, he has humbly gotten on his knees to ask God to tell him if the LDS church is the true church. (We know the answer he got.) This is a professor at a prominent university. Yet his epistemology is nonetheless sophomoric, embryonic, fragile. I realized the LDS church relies on this kind of faith, and a kind of brainwashing. We are talking about a smart person here, yet it doesn't matter. The people who never leave are the folks who don't have the courage or strength to ask real, penetrating questions about what the truth is and how we know it. It's much more comforting for some to relinquish questions and just "have faith." In so doing, they surrender their rational selves for a life of belonging. "This guy (and he's a nice guy) was glad I was happy and told me he'd pass on my well wishes to his big sister. And you know? I'm glad his sister has done well. Yet the young woman I knew in 1980, whom I took to the prom, was a thoughtful, probing, even intellectual woman. A true genius. She gave all her questions up to "belong" and raise a good, God-fearing family; to have a "safe" life that was approved of. She hasn't wanted to connect with me on Facebook -- I post too many things that are "controversial," borderline atheistic. OK, but she was still my prom date. I couldn't help feeling it was all such a huge waste. What a mind. What a heart. Yet the doctrines and security of the LDS Church were too inviting. Conformity and giving up free thought were such small prices to pay, so she believed. This young woman, in 1980, could quote Shakespeare by memory and was familiar with David Hume and Descartes. Now, she lovingly prepares gift baskets and tells the elders which homes to visit. "I still care about her. I'm glad she's safe and well taken care of. But the disjunction haunts me a little. I knew her when she was 17. Now, I see an empty shell to an extent -- an automaton, a "perfect wife" and grandmother. But in the 70s she could think; she could reason. . . . A life of reason and self-cultivation isn't easy -- no free comforts, very little familial or institutional bulwarking. Yet the freedom of thought is worth it -- the opportunity to be oneself and follow one's interests; to believe what seems reasonable and nothing more. This lovely young woman was never able to leave her cocoon. She was a beauty that never became a butterfly. Yet she would say of me that I have left God to become a heathen, an apostate. "Oddly, I feel I am closer to God than I might have once been, yet my God is nebulous and harder to define -- not able to be put in a box. Many need a boxed God. She needed one. And she's content, but perhaps it's the happiness of an unrealized life (as Jung would say). She is an unknown woman to all but especially to herself. My words now are for those like you and me who did not need the structure of a box. I wish C. well. She's now 60 too, like me. She did everything right. She was perfect, a perfect wife and LDS saint. But she didn't look within where all the truth lies. And life, in the end, is too short to waste on believing other people's ideologies but not delving into the essence of the self, the mind, and the true soul. And digging in the dirt while you're at it." ~Kherry McKay, Villahermosa, Tabasco, Mexico, June 2nd, 2023
I came to your channel through some other of your videos about Why I left M. And I can tell hearing your story made me feel happy about how you found your way out.
Thanks for sharing. I have listened to a few "why I left the Mormon church" videos and such and it's shocking to hear how similar the experiences are of guilt tripping and feeling unworthy to be in the church. I myself am Mormon (slowly becoming inactive, but I can't become fully inactive as I'm still a minor living with their parents) and find the gatekeeping of information astonishing. One of my final straws with the church was my first year of seminary (my mom made me take it, I had no intentions of taking it) when my seminary teacher said "don't look at outside sources and only use divinely appointed ones." as a way to continue gatekeeping information. Another one of my final straws with the church (I guess specifically this woman) was when one of my young women's leaders said that girls should not wear revealing clothes (i.e. no shoulders, no cleavage, etc. Thank god we're allowed to show out ankles wtf) because "boYs CaN't cONtrOl thEir tHouGhTS," as if we're the ones who should be responsible for that. The purity culture is insane and frustrating and sold under the guise of "modesty". This last bit, while not final straws, but rather grievances and frustrations with the church. The lack of a clear answer regarding why women cannot hold the priesthood. I have asked several people why that is and the answer is always "we don't know, maybe it will be revealed sometime in the future." It's so frustrating because I feel like they know there's no good reason to it other than misogyny in the church. I'm not a hardcore feminist and I hate using the word misogyny, but the church definitely, *definitely*, would count as misogynistic imo. The role of women in the church is very traditional leaning where we are encouraged to get married young, have lots of kids, and stay at home and do woman-y things ig. I don't denounce women who have traditional roles in the household, it's just what's encouraged for women to be and as someone who has never wanted kids, it just rubs me the wrong way and makes me very uncomfortable. Also, they've recently begun, I'd say, sort of brainwashing the youth (meaning 11ish-18) with Nelson becoming the prophet. Honestly, I can't really describe it without other people having experienced the youth program in recent years. Yeah, it's bad. Be careful joining the church and know that they are really tightening their grip on teens. It's creepy and they know exactly what they're doing. The last thing (finally), would be the overbearing encouragement of young men to serve missions. Not all young men want to serve missions. They say it's okay if you don't, but I know that the judgment and shame of young men choosing not to serve a mission is real and I feel very real passion about not encouraging them to serve a misson. It should be a choice and not some peer pressure to serve a mission. I haven't really heard it (because I'm not a man), but I know that older folks in the church ask young men (meaning 18-20, about the time they serve missions) "so when do you get your mission call?" I know it's with good intentions, but it really furthers the pressure to serve missions. Be in the church if you want, more power to you i guess, but know that you won't ever get straight answers from the church as well as the overbearing culture to be perfect and worthy 100% of the time (it's really bad here in Utah, I just notice it more since I've only just recently lived here).
Hi! Thanks for sharing! It’s so amazing that you’re doing all this research before you’re even 18. That’s huge. It sounds like you have a level head on your shoulders and will have no problem navigating the outside world once you’re free to do and believe as you choose. Best of luck to you in your journey!❤️
Finally! I have waited so long to encounter such a kindred spirit! I saw you on a live chat with @ubermormon . I’m very excited to watch more of the channel. I am so pleased with your work to promote the use of plant medicine to break through lifetimes of conditioning and trauma! While I have not yet been presented with an opportunity to participate in the Ayahuasca ceremonies, I have found other plant medicines that have helped me achieve significant breakthroughs in that solid steel fortress that was once my traumatized and fragile ex-mo ego. While I continue to do my own work, I’ve recognized that one of my purposes in life is to share the knowledge of these other avenues, the ones that “god” actually did give us: the plants! (not books, or anti-depressants, or temples) So I’m deeply thankful to know I’m not alone. Thanks for putting yourself out there, and please keep it up. You are doing greater work than you could even fathom.
Hi Kaitlin! Welcome to C2C! I’m so happy you are finding my channel helpful. Yes, plant medicine is truly a gift. You might enjoy the episode I did solely on the ayahuasca experience and also the one with my mom talking about her experience.
Hwy i got disfellowshipped for oral sex. My bishop at the time said even if married, that was not allowed. I had no idea of that fact, but yeah bishop court telling a room of about 6 men my BJ sins. Super uncomfortable, and i thought a little over the top. Glad you got out, its amazing when you finally feel free! Love your channel, always interesting!
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m a never Mo, but can relate to it having grown up in the evangelical Deep South. I wasn’t forced to go to church but pressure to agree with the prevailing mindset was strong. I gradually went away from it, finally embracing the atheist label 11 years ago (I’m 50-something). I still live in the deep south but our non-believer/non-religious numbers are growing even here. Also there are more progressive denominations for those who wish to stay Christian. With demographic changes, we also have Muslims, Sikhs, Buddhists, and others. Welcome to intellectual freedom, and so much joy and wonder at life as it is rather than by ridiculous tales shoved down our throats 👏👏👏
hi Shelise, I have listened to some of your interview podcasts and today I listened to your own experiences. Thank you so much for sharing, some things resonated with me and also what you said about not being the trauma that you have had.Thankyou for your openness and honesty.
Found you recently and have been watching many videos. After hearing you mention being molested by your father, I had to go way back to watch your first video and hear your story. This was so powerful and congrats on 50k! 🎉🎉🎉
I always love listening to stories of others who've left the Mormon church, because it makes me feel like I wasn't crazy, that is what I was taught as well. I left the Mormon Church when I was 13, and even now after 12 years I still find myself getting confused by things because it was just so ingrained into me. Every time something wouldn't make sense to me when I was Mormon and I'd ask my Sunday school teachers about it, they'd always either tell me to "just have faith" or "just believe" and that frustrated me to no end because I need evidence and proof so when things don't add up, I start doubting like no tomorrow. One of the bigger things that didn't add up to me was that where I grew up in Wyoming, I was told that the first vision Joseph Smith had after kneeling and praying in the forest was of God (Heavenly Father) and Jesus appearing to him, but when I went to a small town in Nevada and went to church with our family friends there, they taught that Joseph only saw Jesus, which confused me to no end. I thought it was funny that you said people would ask you if you have more than one Mom because it wasn't until the first season of sister wives was being aired on TV that I learned what polygamy really was (I thought it was incest - and while it can be, they're not the same thing). I always get asked if Mormons do believe they can become gods of their own planets, the magic underwear, why Mormons don't drink coffee (and why I still don't - it has nothing to do with what I was taught and everything to do with the fact that coffee is disgusting in my opinion), and if they really baptize the dead (which they are the only religion that does that). I'm glad you were able to find peace and healing. Thank you for sharing your story. Also, I just feel I need to say something else because some of the comments are annoying me (I don't feel like commenting on their comments because I don't want to argue with them but I do feel I need to say something) - I personally believe in the loving God who gave us all free will to choose if we're going to believe in Him at all or not. I also believe that He takes into consideration the fact that some horrible people out there have used God's name in order to hurt vulnerable people and He has mercy for those victims who may not want to believe in God anymore and will turn to anything else other than Him. You do and believe whatever you need to in order to continue healing and being happy, and don't let anyone try to tell you that you have to do something in order for you to be loved by God because that is most definitely not true at all (which is something the Catholic Church has spent years helping me to understand because of the things I was taught in the Mormon church - God loves us no matter what we do or where we go in life, and we don't have to be perfect before He'll love us). It sounds to me as though you'd never be happy giving the LSD church another chance - oh, sorry, I meant the LDS church. Also, calling the most plagiarized and world-famous fanfiction on earth 'scripture' doesn't make it Holy, it just makes it a joke - also known as the Book of Mormon (if you don't want anyone calling the LSD (sorry, it's a typo - I swear 😇🤪) church the Mormon church anymore, tell the church leaders to change it or shut up about people calling it Mormon.
I agree; if there is a God, he won't be happy to see people using his name to hurt people, collect money for their own benefit, etc. But if the Bible is true, also those cruel and selfish individuals can ask forgiveness and be forgiven.
If there is a true loving God, how can He really condemn his creations to an eternal Hell? That’s always been my biggest problem with Christianity. I started questioning it in Catholic grade school. It drove me away from organized faiths. I still can’t square it to this day. I maintain a faith of my own. It has no formal name, no formal rituals. It is based on love of all, acceptance of all, working to live the virtues that Jesus espoused (the man was a great teacher if nothing else). I believe that what goes around comes around, and those that do evil will have to face the evil that they have done and that will be a heavy punishment of itself. But eternal damnation from a loving God? Nope.
You were blessed with clear insight, and the courage to act on it! Your instincts were spot on. I'm sorry your family members don't also see it. But you did, and had the courage to act on it. I know great things are ahead! Proceed with confidence! You deserve it! 🌟❤🌟 Let your radiance shine!
I’ve been watching your channel for many months, but today I decided to go back to your oldest videos and hearing this podcast was so interesting and emotional. I’m so happy to have seen this and to recently have watched you, your husband, and little girl talk about your first group retreat. Wow, you have come a long way, I wonder when you made this podcast did you ever envision where you are now? How very wonderful to be able to share your story and the stories of your guests with the world. I’m so much more aware of how unaware I am of other people’s pasts because of what I’ve heard on your channel and others like it. I appreciate what you are doing.
You had a great life experience. One of personal growth and charting a path to enlightenment. Getting off the LDS train was an important move. It’s sad, because there are some great folks I know who are still stuck on that same course.
Shalise I've been watching your channel for about 6 months, because of your interview with Chelsea Goodrich, I came to find your story. I left Mormonism behind in 2012 officially- I was in & out prior to this after having been raised in this cult! Glad you got it, blessings to healing. Blessed be.
Great account as to what happened to you,and why you left. Well done. It does take some time for so many of us. My ascent from this cult was after being a believing member for 47 years. Throughout that time I had accumulated questions and doubts, of which I had shelved and being so obedient to the deep indoctrination of the leaders to never allow these things to see the light of day. I was baptized in 1970 as an 8 year olde. In an era if you said ( or ever knew )that Joseph Smith used a rock in a hat for translating the B.o.M , you would be an apostate anti-Mormon liar. As the decades passed we now learn that yesterdays anti-Mormon lies are now Church approved Essays. Took me 47 years to finally send a resignation letter to Utah from my home country New Zealand 5 years ago. My study of the Church history , experiencing the perpetual flip flopping of Church leaders regarding doctrine and policy, the problematic truth claims, and Joseph Smiths philandering caused the connection of dots to all my questions and doubts. I view the Church's tithing policy as extortion on a major scale. . I view the leaders as blatant liars perpetuating a deception to justify aggrandized positions of power over blinded masses. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is naught but a Corporate Cult operating in today's world. May more become awakened from this immense fraudulent religion....and leave.
Thanks for leaving...saved us the trouble of throwing you out. Stop it. You never were a "believing member"...just a poser. No testimony. No loyalty. From a fellow New Zealander. Kia Orana.
Thank you so much for removing your weakness and confusion out from among us. Honestly, you never believed. You never had a testimony. Just a poser and a fraud for almost half a century. Housecleaning in any organization is a healthy and necessary chore...keeps the body of saints healthy and is necessary to rid the church of the dross and offal that cycle in and out of the church from time to time. Again, thanks for saving us the trouble of throwing you out.
Your production is amazing and your story is compelling. I am also from Utah and raised as a Mormon. Everyone I knew closely in Salt Lake City was also a Mormon. I left the church when I was 17 because I felt that Mormon leaders were full of judgement and conceit. But I had not studied Mormon history until just a few years ago. I had no idea the degree of dishonesty and horror of the Mormon history. And even more shocking was to discover the lies and cruelty from Joseph Smith and Brigham Young. Read these two autobiographies: Tell It All by Franny Stenhouse and Wife No.19 by Ann Eliza Young. They lived the Mormon life from the beginning stages. Thank you for your TH-cam blog/production. I will watch everything you show. Steve C. age 76
Gracias por compartir con fundamento lo que hacen y causan los cultos, grupos o sectas en la vida de las personas. He pasado por distintas religiones y sectas y debo decir que, lo que compartes es real, porque todos lo hemos vivido de algún modo. Pensar distinto o cuestionar o preguntar más de la cuenta es imperdonable, también soy SUD como tú. Saludos de Chile 🇨🇱
Hola! Gracias! Yes, mind control for the betterment of organizations, not necessarily their members, is real and I won’t stand for it. Thanks for being here! 🙌
Absolutely LOVE your story! I have a very similar story to yours, but I did go through the temple and was married there. I never did feel whole, or good enough. Once I went through a divorce, I was shunned by my entire ward - and we had a very civil, kind divorce - 13 years later we are still best friends. That was when I totally shifted and really dove in to the history and reality of Mormonism. I now I'm immersed in energy work and mediation and have never felt more 'at home.' I would love to have you on my show one of these days. I would also love any information that you have on these retreats - i feel like its the final piece of the puzzle to finally work through the 'dark night of the soul' and really heal and purge my childhood trauma (abuse, abandonment, etc). Thank you for being so raw!
I grew up in it. I started veering away around 16/17. My mom was probably one of the kindest people I've ever known, and everyone that knew her agreed. She had a difficult time in the church being a single mother, but she kept her faith until she passed. She never judged me or my sister for not believing. I feel like my mom was a rarity in the church. She never tried to force us to any of it. She respected us and our decisions. We weren't bad people or kids, never been in legal trouble, never did anything considered bad in society either. Never got hooked on drugs. Drank some, but weren't alcoholics. My sister recently passed away and it's been messing with me a little bit. I believe in a God. I never got back into religion. Losing family members that were so close to me has made me reflect toward religion. I feel I'm susceptible to cults b/c of growing up that way and now this happens. I really appreciate your view points on all of this and your story as it helps me remember why I left in the first place. I've started going down the rabbit hole of everything and have learned things I never knew about the church that makes me question how so many people fell victim to this in the first place, but then realized, blind faith has caused this.
@@samlewis4195 If you are willing to compare your mother's faith to your cousin's criminal choices, you're a complete idiot and didn't deserve your mom.
This is the video I needed to watch before I made a comment(s) on your podcast. I am glad you are helping to get people to consciousness. Agreed, people are responsible for their own choices, yet mind control affected me greatly. In my twenties I was afraid of having sex because of getting kicked out of the church. Although Mormonism is my 2nd religion. I was having trouble with self exploration. My parents were encouraging me to have sexual relationships since I was in college.. I had a bishops that were lenient. I always believed that God would still connect to us no matter what. I had and do have spiritual experiences outside of church. As you know, you may have heard in church, "you can't have the spirit with you if you don't keep all the commandment." By the way I really like James Van Prog and what he shares. I knew that what the church was saying was false about not having the spirit. I got mad. I knew it was guilty trip stuff. That was the wedge eventually led me to leave. Also, I remember the first presidency wrote a world wide letter about a program called, "Impact training" out of Utah? It was read to my congregation. Years later I went to that program while I was reading Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. I dropped. I went to this Impact training because a friend suggested it. I called it a psychological training because it gives tools to assist people to live their life in a healthy way. The church doesn't want people to hold leaders accountable for their lies, lack of integrity, etc. The church is what 2 Tim. 3:5 says..... having a form of godliness, but deny the power there of. Members are like Jewish rabbis and philosopher's is what I see now. I am Jewish and served a mission. I was glad to hear you connect with ghosts. That is pretty cool.. I can feel their energy, but no real communication like you. My mom use to do automatic writing. She stopped like you because the church told her to stop. She is now getting back into it. She does energy work and stuff like that.....Automatic writing is something I want to try through Kaballah. I am in the film industry myself. I am thinking of writing a book about spiritual experiences. When is your book coming out? Thanks for sharing. I really liked hearing about your journey. I see I didn't need to be concerned about you with your interview with John D. He was one of your experts. I got it. I'm looking forward to watching your other podcasts. I really like that bit you read in the beginning........ "your tag line". (trying to be funny here). It's perfect.
"you can't have the spirit with you if you don't keep all the commandment." You are misquoting that. You can't have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost if you aren't keeping the commandments. That doesn't mean you are just abandoned by God. God will always go and try to find someone and bring them back in. We also don't teach that the spirit can't be present in other congregations nor that you can't have spiritual experiences outside of the Church. "The church is what 2 Tim. 3:5 says..... having a form of godliness, but deny the power there of" No, we aren't the ones who deny God's power. We constantly say His power influences our lives with the Priesthood. "John D. He was one of your experts." If the is John Dehlin then the only thing he is an expert as is being a liar and hypocrite. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is God's and Jesus Christ one and only true church here on earth. We know and teach the Bible and gospel better than any other denomination. Rejoin God and Jesus Christ in their Kingdom and rejoin their true church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and learn all that they have to offer. Learn of their glory and mercy, learn of the plan they have of you.
@@dylanwilliams2202 thanks for your reply. That quote you corrected me on was not from the Bible. It was out of the mouths of leadership. The men who were bishops and counselors who stood in front of the congregation and said those very words. I don't like the behavior of guilt driven speech. I do not believe that is of G_d. I was given a rebuttal in my late 20's by someone who read a book from some member of the quorum of 70. I am talking about somewhere in the early 1990's. I told this elder that he ought to do his home teaching out of love and genuine concern for them. He fired back at me quoting that Elder from the Quorum of 70. That it was better to do home teaching from guilt then not at all. I differ on that. Yes, I have listened to that person you mention with initials JD. To tell you the truth I don't like him. I don't like his program for the most part. Destroying peoples faith in source is not a good thing. He seems angry. Enough on that. You mention the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost can be with you after baptism. What does that really mean? You mentioned that it doesn't mean source abandons us. What about the church members and leaders abandoned God? How does that get corrected? When I ask a question, I am doing it for discussion. Nothing to defend here okay? I want you to know I went to fast and testimony meeting to bear my testimony that G_d is a G_d of miracles. Those words I spoke that day save for a few, fell on deaf ears. I felt that ward for sure was spiritually dead. They are use to ward members saying the usual things at fast and testimony meetings. Right? You absolutely know what I am talking about.. I will not go back. Do church members really believe in miracles or just stories from the Bible? Is it just lip service? Would Jesus, looking like a regular Joe, be able to stand at a fast and testimony meeting he share his miracles. Would people believe him? Would that fall on deaf ears? Do you get dreams? Can the King or Angels speak to you in dreams for your life? Warnings for others? By their fruits you shall know them. Did I get that wrong? I could share a lot more miracles and experiences. It wouldn't be to show off. It would be for people to know what is possible. The scriptures say do not cast your pearls before swine. Look keep going church. Do the things you do at church out of love and not out of guilt. I wish you the best brotha. Peace.
Amazing story. Amazing Channel. I am learning a lot. Beautiful lady. Thank you for sharing your story and having a platform for others to share their stories. 🦋🕊️
I kinda of stopped around the type you start speaking about holistic stuff. While I believed in some factors of that, it became a big hole in my gut, since my mom had ALS and holistic doctors kept insisting they could help her. So much money lost, so little that even helped. Keep in mind, even if it did nothing to help her i don't think it made anything *worse* necessarily. It was about her comfort really. But she died, at the time that they said she'd die, within three years. If she had taken the actual medication prescribed to ALS patience she could live a potential 10+ years or more, but she didn't wanna live the way she did... so it was her choice... But yeah, holistic care was expensive, didn't do anything, and it made her tell me things like "YOU are the one who is trying to kill me. You won't let me be cured." because she was so exasperated by my exhaustion, by inability to cook things holistics recommended that she couldn't even swallow...ext ext ext I'm sorry for saying all this but you're so cool, you do seem to care about understanding belief systems. Now i won't say holistic is bad entirely, it's helpful, it can help in many ways, but a lot of it is just... schemes for oils, schemes for elixirs or liquids that can cure any disease, and it's not true... I had to suffer that directly. But eating the way they do CAN help in the long run. Spiritual stuff is so healthy and fun, plants and gems and whatever it is that doesn't hurt anyone is fun. I love tarot so much for example, but i won't claim it's immediately real tho to me it is. I'm not trying to remove the comfort of holistic from u and if you mentioned smthn else later ima keep watching the video i just couldn't handle the triggers haha
I 100 percent understand. I do a healthy mix of holistic and western medicines. The holistic side was just a huge part of my journey of healing from abuse and recognizing it was buried in my subconscious. Tarot is fun and crystals make me happy 😁
@@patricksmith7674 hi Patrick. I would just say that you are worthy and worthy of love whether you follow their rules or not :) I hope you find peace either in the church or out.
@@CultstoConsciousness Thank you for your comforting words I have decided that Mormom doctrine is mot for me .I believe that God is my creator and redeemer not how the Mormons are taught.
@@smts0243 I understand your concerns even though they do come across as insensitive. My father has since admitted to remembering what I saw in hypnosis (as have other family members) and even admitted to more sexual assault that what I saw. So, while holistic healing can certainly take advantage of people by healers with ill-intent, this was not the case for me.
I was in cult too. Painful point came when I said what I was say it's like a jail full of predators and I got scared me over. Now I'm a mum of beautiful girl who will choose which path she want to go with but my motto is always and forever "believe in anything but don't forget to be good person and human being". Thank you to say all this loud!!❤❤❤
Thank you so much for your story. I recently dated a man who is Mormon. I had to end things though because the more I learned the more I knew that was a big nope for me . A absolute wonderful person and we are still friends. Your video made me see that I made the right decision .
I am the empath daughter of a narcissistic, Bipolar, paranoid delusional singe mother. She kept me as far away from my dad as possible and abuse was crazy. Your videos keep popping up in my feed and in watching a few of them I have realized that my CPTSD, depression and anxiety parallel that of someone who has escaped from a cult. While my mothers home wasn’t a cult, I wasn’t free to leave, i wasn’t allowed to think for myself and I didn’t have autonomy over my own body. Because of these parallels I decided to come to your first video and watch from the very beginning. today and I am a 41 year old mother of a 19 year old daughter who can see so much trauma still trapped within me that she wants me to do a San Pedro ceremony. I am a commercial driver so clearly i can not partake in any hallucinagenics but I found it very interesting to listen to your story. Thank you for sharing.
You are spot on.. Please know that growing up with a narcissistic parent can be just like growing up in a cult. Being able to identify that can be a significant step to significant healing. Wishing you and your daughter (and your mom) healing. Keep up the good work!
"You're not being a good influence on your boyfriend." That made me angry! That is so damaging and toxic, and frankly misogynistic! Blame the woman and don't take any blame for the man (not that there was anything to be blamed for in the first place, of course). Those worthiness interviews were embarrassing as all hell, having to tell a person who'd known me since I was born the most private and things that nobody else had any right to know.
I've never understood why accountability isn't equal and balanced. Especially from people who tend to think that women are less interested in sex. By that view, shouldn't he be the one seen as more to blame?
WOW! I'm so happy for you! I wasn't raised in an occult , but raised isolated and was abused from the age of 3 or 4 , we thought it was normal. Hard to talk about. But I right , my older sister draws , my younger sister writes poems..😢..my title would be , Victims. Of Circumtances. A lot of thought has gone into my title...but only the book in my head!! Jesus has saved me!! That's all can say..maybe I will Wright my book one day. You guve me hope
I stopped going ten years ago at the age of 20. I felt extreme pressure to go on a mission while suffering from severe anxiety and trauma, it was bad. There was no way I wanted to spread the gospel and there was no way I was going to be able to do public speaking and approach strangers. I have similar stories surrounding the shame and embarrassment they pile up onto people surrounding their sexuality and normal human life/emotions. I now play a delicate balance with my family, who are all still very much in the "doctrine". I love them very much but its hard. I think they spend less time with me because I have made it very clear I am not coming back. Now my brother and sister in law are having a baby and I feel like they are just going to try to keep me out of their kid's life as much as they can.
I felt alot of this! Thank you! Finally breaking free was a great feeling but I also felt horrible and i am finally able to express myslef and have ups and downs still but glad i have made it.
I was a child attending the mormon church. What got me out was my parents' divorce. I was too young to be baptised (thankfully) and was raised as a true christian baptised, confirmed everything! My father stayed but wasn't really serious until later on. He married twice more (no polygamy in Australia) and had another daughter. He decided to disown me and my sister but we received a wedding invitation to his third wedding - apparently they went to the temple. He got sick and wanted to know if he was a grandfather (we didn't disclose this to him because we knew that he would try "baptising" them the mormon way so they can "live forever") He died and I attended his very weird funeral where my baby sister (who was an adult by then) refused to speak to me and all the mormons stay on the other side of the room. I have no relationship with my sister and her mum and they do not have anything to do with my children. I went to school with a few kids who were mormon. I've had some exposure growing up but I was lucky to escape as a 4 year old.
Oh my gosh that’s so awful. I’m so sorry you went through that. Mormon programming is really strong and they probably thought interacting with you would affect their eternal salvation.
Who am I? That was my main question after I left. Thanks for starting this, I listened to your other podcast and love how you interview your guests. You are someone who inspired me to start my own podcast. Would love for you to be a guest on mine if you are ever interested!
I did Ayahuasca too, but saw/ felt nothing out of the ordinary, just the neon lights that any hallucinogenic makes you see, I went there with an open mind and it just made me realize that what people see / feel is what's already in their brains, believers in Christ or the virgin Mary see/hear them, those who believe their dead relative is watching them see /hear them, it's only us, only our brain, so I don't really believe in anything "spiritual"
Im a multi generation Mormon. Born and raised in the church and all my friends are Mormon. I’m turning 18 in less than a month and I want to leave the church. Too much blackmail, cliques, hatred, judgment, racism, abuse, covering up crimes, taking money that only goes straight to the leaders, etc. It’s a cult in my eyes. The problem with being able to leave lies in my housing and relationships. My family has never had money. We have lived with my grandparents since I was 4 and without them we would be homeless. If I leave the church I might get kicked out. My grandparents would freak on me and my parents and it would create such a hostile environment. All my friends are Mormon. If I leave I’ll more than likely lose even my best friend. I don’t think I’d be able to cope and would have to check myself into a hospital so I won’t end it. I am very medically complex. If I don’t have my parents insurance I will be THOUSANDS of dollars in debt within the first YEAR. No I cannot get a job now to save either. If I get a job my whole family loses their insurance and they’re all medically complex too. Without the church I don’t know what id do. My whole life is built upon this. I already have suicidal thoughts and have almost made attempts before. I’d probably literally kill myself without being ensured I won’t lose everyone and everything I love. Fucking hell, for a god that supposedly loves me so much he’s really a controlling asshole who lives to see people who loved him, suffer. If there is a god, I tried. I devoted my whole life. This doesn’t seem true to me. This doesn’t seem right. Mormons have dangled the 7 miscarriages my mother has had right over hers AND my face telling us that we won’t be able to see them ever again unless we conform to the group. That’s so FUCKED UP. If you really loved me and this church was true, NONE of that shit would have happened. I’m so fucking done with living, and living this lie.
This whole post seems like you are getting mad at things that just aren't true or are in your mind. For example, how has the church or individuals "dangled the 7 miscarriages my mother has had right over hers AND my face telling us that we won’t be able to see them ever again unless we conform to the group" Like what? Sorry but I am going to say that never happened. "Too much blackmail, cliques, hatred, judgment, racism, abuse, covering up crimes, taking money that only goes straight to the leaders, etc." All this is just a blatant lie and can be easily disproven and I would be happy to disprove it however that isn't the issue, let's get to the real problem. "Fucking hell, for a god that supposedly loves me so much he’s really a controlling asshole who lives to see people who loved him, suffer." and "If you really loved me and this church was true, NONE of that shit would have happened." Awe, there is the problem. You blame God and the Church for all your problems. With all do respect. your not the only one with problems. I have a heart condition that I have had to deal with my whole life. My father has physically and mentally abused me my whole life and when I went to go live with him because my mother's house was filled with filth and was a hoarders he kicked me out. He kicked me out after I tired committing suicide 3 times, and I mean that was the reason why he did it. He then broke into my grandparents house (where I was staying at after he kicked me out) and screamed at me and told me as he left "You can go kill yourself now Dylan, I don't care whether you live or die." I say this not to gain sympathy but to remind you that everyone deals with problems, faithful members like me and non members alike. It's how you deal with them that matters. You getting mad at God and saying the Church isn't true doesn't change or fix your problems. Leaving the Church isn't going to change or fix your problems. Many of our Prophets has literally said that you will still face hardships in this life even when you join or are in this Church. That being in this Church doesn't mean you will not feel pain and sorrow and hardships will still come. The difference is that you can either turn to God and Jesus Christ's and have their help so you can go through whatever your going through with ease (Like is says in Mosiah 24:14) or not and still be going through these hardships but without God's and Jesus Christ's help. This is where you are at, take my advice and look to God and Jesus Christ and ask for their help to get through your hardships (also probably talk to a therapist and/or ask for a priesthood blessing by someone you trust and respect, maybe your bishop, if you haven't already) or get mad at me for telling you some hard truth and type an angry comment back towards me that won't really make you feel better nor make your hardships go away. As someone who was suicidal before, like does get better. Don't give up on yourself and life. You will find happiness if you want to find it and let it in. Same thing with God and Jesus Christ. The atonement isn't just for sins, it's for all injustice including injustice that is done to us.
Living in a reality based on distortion is not worth living but there is a way to not give in to the lies and anything that is based on harm no matter what the label is. Your honesty and clarity will serve you. Trust your own “inner instructions”, your own authority to navigate this situation. The resources and support will connect with you as you listen to yourself and take the action that’s true and in right timing to you. It may seem like micro movements, but your intention and desire to live honestly and directly from pure love (not conditioning) will ground and align with what you really want. I admire and respect your clarity which is amazing especially at your age AND living IN an environment that is conditional. It took me decades. Please continue to be true to yourself. The world, the cosmos, we need You as You. The changes that are evolving in our communities and even the world will reflect greater respect and natural authentic living. 💖
Trust in God, no, not the Mormon made up god. Fear keeps us paralyzed. Satan is good at keeping us paralyzed. Satan is rampant in the Mormon church. If you don’t believe this, look at all of the satanic imagery on the SLC temple. Once you get rid of all of your Mormon doctrine, you will feel an overwhelming sense of letting go of the ties that bind.
Just listening now to get a refresher because I was a JW many years ago and was disfellowshipped and I never returned and have been living in Northern VT for many years now. We have just recently had mormons move in a couple of houses down on this rural dirt road and I just knew it was odd. I was in a cult for some 20 years and being 64 now I'm so glad I left at the age of 35 but, it was scary for sure and I had a lot to learn. I now regard myself as infinite awareness having a spiritual experience here in the 3-D reality. I haven't met these folks yet and i'm sure they will stick to themselves as the rest of us would be considered worldly in their view. Thank you
I remember when I first read the BITE model my first thought was "this describes the church so well that it must have been written by anti-mormons to attack it". That was the precise moment I realized I was in a cult.
The BITE model can be applied to any Church or organization. The BITE model would say that the military is a cult. No intellectually honest person would call the Church a cult. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is God's and Jesus Christ one and only true church here on earth. We know and teach the Bible and gospel better than any other denomination. Join God and Jesus Christ in their Kingdom and join their true church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and learn all that they have to offer. Learn of their glory and mercy, learn of the plan they have of you.
@@dylanwilliams2202 and this is why people call it a cult. no intellectually honest person- at least one with half a grain of sense and knowledge- will deny that the church is very cult-ish. behavior control- check. information control- check. thought control- check. emotional control- check. you see how you can't actually deny that it is one unless you deny all of what it does.
The saddest thing I ever heard was my sister-in-law telling me how it makes her upset knowing her husband (my Brother) will have multiple wives in Heaven (according to the Mormon beliefs). I'm sure most men would hate thinking about their wife having multiple partners in Heaven too. Big time CULT....run!!!
I had to go back and watch your story because this channel is amazing and has been so eye opening for me. I stumbled into it a few months ago. I was raised in what I see now as a cult. Mostly within my family but it was an extremely fundamentalist Christian home. My sisters and I were homeschooled, lived off grid when I was born and very much brainwashed. We attended a church that taught the IBLP very strictly until my parents felt like it was too much for us but still taking some of the ideas with them as they stayed attending home church where we stayed until I was 12 and then it fell apart so we attended a Calvary chapel from then on….so much trauma from all of these groups and my own family. The way the church handled abuse was horrific. But I left because I started searching and exploring the Bible even deeper as well as other beliefs and spiritual beliefs which helped me to fully deconstruct. It was over the course of a few years but I didn’t fully get out until I was 29. I too really connected to some spiritual ideas and have also taken some eye owning substances. I feel free now and really so grateful my own kids will not be raised the way I was. Your story out was really familiar even though it’s mormanism. Thank you for sharing it!! ❤
Just watched your podcast/your story on Mormon stories, and realized I haven’t watched your first video. ❤ 😀 didn’t grow up in a cult, but I find this channel very informative. ❤ learning more information about possible cults.
girl , I have not been raised in any religion, and I am not mormon or anything like that, but please do not promote Ayahuasca, I lived in India long enough to know Ayahuasca can cause psicosis and very bad things because it is an unnatural way to get to enlightement, you can get to the same place through therapy , and through your own work with meditation and yoga. that is what makes me sad, people born into religion , they then go to the complet oposite side, milion drugs, milion partners, talking to the death... and it is not necessary to do that to heal , believe me I can tell you so many stories of Ayahuasca related cults where people have been crazily abused. if you do something just to contrarest the other thing ... you may end up into the sasme bad place, just in a diferent way. how many hippies I met who were born into catholic strict families, and because of wanting to free themselves did the complet oposite than their parents, without realizing they are having the same strict mindset than them, but instead of being closeminded about Jesus, they are close minded about psicoldelics and polyamor, as if that is the ONLY way to enlightement. they are doing the exact same in reverse, and that may go well for a while but it will eventually lead to ending up as stuck as their parents, just following something else, thats it. its sad because this creates 2 diferent extremes, one is the sufocating religion, and on the other side you have drugs, and complet caos of people who think they are healing but they are just hurting even more. and its difficult to find something where people can be kind of wholesome, be healthy together , pray and may not completely reject some of the positive values from religion, but simply do it in a more healthy, loving way Again, I am not mormom, my parents are absolutely atheist , then dont even have a problem with me trying drugs , I simply did not wanna do it, because you can not be a mormon, and still think durgs are not necessary to free your soul, because you can do it naturally. I also believe it's better to have sex after marriage or if you are in a very comited relationship , for your mental health as a woman. anyway... I have seen too many people get stuck into the Ayahuasca thing I can't listen to it anymore. please stop selling it like the only way to heal or this awesome thing because maybe for very repressed people it can be fine but for sensitive people it can go absolutely wrong. just that you know, we are many people into the yoga world and new age stuff who dont have a " mormom brainwash" ( I am from Europe , I never even heard about them) and we are against Ayahuasca stuff because it's not well done , it can cause harm to certain people and we think actually americans are a bit brainwash by society into joining those retreats. I wish you could watch Carles Tamayo, but its in spanish. he is a reporter who made documentaries exposing christian sects, maybe even mormonism, and he also exposed ayahuasca cults, and retreats. its not that diferent, you just have to be there long enough or accidentally go to the wrong place. be carefull and seriously think twice before promoting it
Wow, just found your channel a couple days ago. Fascinating episode. I related to a lot as I was raised ultra ultra orthodox Jewish (Hasidic) and left the community. I’m entirely secular now for about 13-15 years
I grew up in fundamental Christianity, I thankfully was born with something that made me realize something was off: my sexuality! I left the church 2 years ago after a bunch of people in this culty Bible study excommunicated me for deciding to date instead of celibacy, and I haven’t looked back since!
@Morgan Mann "I left the church 2 years ago after a bunch of people in this culty Bible study excommunicated me for deciding to date instead of celibacy" Dating is NOT forbidden; AT ALL. This is exactly what makes these ridiculous TH-cam channels so frustrating. They are constantly lying and manufacturing imaginary oppression to justify their hatred for other people.
You are such a powerful woman! I've been binging your videos the last few months and I'm glad I got the badass "origin story". Shelise (sorry in advance about spelling) you are so inspiring! I dont agree with all the methods, but everyone is entitled to therir own life and ways, and I'm so glad to hear how you found yourself.
Thank you so much! I know they are atypical and can get culty in their own ways, but since then, my dad has admitted to more abuse than I witnessed and I’m pregnant with a beautiful baby like I saw in my ayahuasca journey. It’s truly magical and I’m so happy 🥰❤️
I'm glad your show exists. I'm a transgender Mormon, even though I'm still an active member, I also living a full life. It's a wierd ride. I've tride leaving several times, but I'm still pretty active for an out trans chick who doesn't pass. It's often a interesting time of me just not saying anything, but my presence definitely ages so e people very uncomfortable. And I'm glad.
I understand so much of this. Left 5 years ago. Had a realization in singles ward. Bothered by the temple. Bothered by the nature of God the way it was taught in the mormon church. Thought maybe I'll go back someday. And then I learned about the CES letter, down the rabbit hole I went, and now I have plenty of reasons to never go back. Thank you for sharing your story.
ahhh the sweet, sweet, dark and gloomy rabbit holes. Nothing like the feeling of falling deep into them. Glad you got out! Thanks for being here!
@@CultstoConsciousness so basically u left Mormanism cause u like oral
@@phatalbert9310 no need to be crass. You clearly missed the point.
@@CultstoConsciousness you like giving oral 2 ure bf that's what you said verbatim though
After 5 years, you would expect healthy adults to have moved on...not you. Here you still are, pathetically bashing a faith you claim to have rejected half a decade ago. Sad.
I like that you pointed out a cult doesn’t have to be religious. People are not really conscious of that.
Sadly religious cults do so well because of the threat of hell.
Trump's support is like a cult.
QAnon is also like a cult.
EXACTELY! And this channel is a cult. It has its followers validating the lies, faith destruction, slander and make a pretty penny $$$from it.
The Church of Jesus Christ believes agency is a foundational principle. No one is forced or manipulated into belonging.
Just because a religion has standards(that you can choose to follow or not) does not make it a cult.
Jesus Christ taught that “if ye love me ye will take up your cross and follow me.” He also says if ye love me “keep my commandments.” He says that faith requires action.
You can call it oppressive or restrictive, but it is not a cult.
Members with eyes to see, find joy and happiness and are better people for having standards.
Selfishness and “anything goes” “do whatever makes you feel good” mentality can and usually does leads to sadness and eventual suffering.
And wearing a tank top and t-shirt is perfectly fine. Some people choose to put God before fashion.
(No one is better for their choices, it’s personal preference).
How anyone in the Mormon church can find your content offensive is a mystery to me, but what you are saying and how you are saying it is extremely powerful.
You are helping many people to break free from destructive cults.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate that! Doing my best :D
that's how cult mind control works. they've got their identities so tied with the church, if anyone calls it into question, it's a personal attack.
Who gives af what the Mormons say
Mormonism exists in a realm Rod Serling warned us about over 60 years ago. "Truth is a menace, and logic is an enemy."
It's not much a mystery, lies and misinformation are offensive.
I'm currently stepping away and it has been very isolating. My family is still under the belief that I am a selfish sinner for leaving and that has been very difficult for me. Thank you for sharing your story. Its comforting to know I'm not alone.
We are all sinners. And self care ≠ selfishness. I’m sorry you feel so alone with your questions and bewilderment. For what it is worth, I believe that Jesus Christ knows our pain and confusion. I hope you can find your way to turn to Him. Good luck on your journey. ❤️
Choices have consequences. You knew what would happen. Quit whining!
Don't listen to the fool John. Keep pushing forward know that the longer you push the farther away you will be from that.
John is an excellent example of the kind of love and joy devout LDS members have in their hearts for all God’s children. Such a great example. 🙃
@@timtime9167 Yeah...go on with your consequence-free existence...
Sometimes I really wish I left as early as you. I left 4 years ago at 33. Did the temple, did the mission, temple marriage, did the “provider” education and career path and had kids young.
I have no regrets about leaving. Thanks for sharing your story.
I also love the intellectual and spiritual freedom that has come from leaving. It’s great to not feel shame about being curious 😅 now I am really making up for lost time and having a blast.
I’m SO happy you made the decision to question mormonism and get the hell outta there. Like you said, the freedom to be yourself and explore is unlike any other feeling once you’ve broke free of the constraints of a high demand religion/cult. Welcome to my channel! Thanks for your support!
Thanks for leaving voluntarily...we would have thrown you out eventually. You were just a poser in the church anyway.
The whole world will now open up to you!
I renounced God and all his evil works 25 years ago. The realisation it was all utter bollocks took a great weight off my shoulders. Now my charity work is because I want to, not because it is demanded of me
Leaving at 33 is better than leaving at 43...or 53!
Congratulations on mustering the strength and courage - because it takes both.
Using that strength and courage, I have no doubt that great things are ahead for you!
Wishing you all the best in your life adventures moving forward!
My wife was 20 when we got married. The Marriage lasted 15 years and 4 kids later. For at least 14 of those years I knew I had not made a good choice, but at the time it was pretty much the only way I could have sex. My libido is pretty high. This is what damage the purity culture does to members. I then had kids way too soon as I was just a student at college hence I never really did have enough money to support them all. So much pain came from following the prophets advice. Now I am out of the church bringing up my kids on my own and it is soooo great. I can now have quality time with my kids and my relationship with them is so much better because of it because I am actually there for them.
Hi Michael! Thank you for sharing! Ahh yes, purity culture. I did a whole episode on it with @exmolex. I'm sorry for what you had to go through and I'm SO happy that you have found your way out of it and are cultivating even stronger relationships with your kids. Congrats on finding peace and happiness outside of a high control group.
@@CultstoConsciousness Thanks so much for your kind words. It is hard to include a whole lifetime of experience in a short paragraph. I have been really very thankful to people like yourself that are there to help others through sometimes very dark places :)
Thanks for leaving voluntarily...we would have thrown you out eventually. You were just a poser in the church anyway. Take your libido and enjoy the unaccountable life you chose.
Oh yes rushing to get married just to have sex. When young men can control their sexual urges and use their big head they can achieve a whole lot. As a person as myself that couldn’t get many dates. I had no choice but to find a way to live life with abstinence. Now I’m older I will dismiss any woman who disrespects me. I just focus on hobbies and interests and really don’t have any desire to date.
@@brianwaller7383listen carefully to these stories. Women have just as strong a sex drive as men. Not sure your way is the right way for everyone, but I’m very happy you’ve found peace in your life.
Hey I started binge watching your podcast interviews a couple days ago and I'm genuinely so proud of you for getting out and sharing it with us.
I have to admit tho, that when you started talking about the holistic kin that helped you "recover" trauma memories. Then you talked about the coincidence with the Gaia documentary and ending up being picked. And seeing it as divine timing.... I gotta be honest, I feel like the whole new age spirituality / holistic healing industry is kinda like a cult itself. Be safe ❤
Hi Luna, I agree that mysticism can get culty. And a lot of people push back on that story. This is what I’ll say to that. That odd way of recovering memories has helped me make sense of so much of my childhood. Memories that would later be confessed to by my abuser. So even though it doesn’t sit well with some, it truly changed the trajectory of my life. I can honestly say this channel wouldn’t exist without it. Thank you for your concern.
@@CultstoConsciousness If it feels right to you in a critical way of thinking, then it's great and I'm happy that you found something that helped you. My concern came from my lived experience with my sister who refuses mental health treatment because she thinks she's so kind of spiritual genuis and she doesn't want to face the truth of reality. She lives in a fantasy world she created for herself and uses spirituality to defend her actions. This creates a very toxic and abusive environment for her kids and it breaks my heart.
So many ex cult members fall for new age spirituality and they can become delusional very fast if they are not self aware (which doesn't seem to be your case). There are also a lot of grifters and abusers in that space. But i'm sure you're alreary aware of it🙂
I finally left at 60! I was mentally out for years and years after finding out the true history of the church and the manipulation in talks ect! Good job getting out. I feel your story and I’m so glad my kids are out young 🙏🥳. And they are amazing beautiful wonderful people. The church is the wolf in sheep’s clothing!
you still are out of it stop blaming the church for your mental problems
Your weakness and confusion oozes from your post. You are not missed. Thanks for leaving so we didn't have to throw you out.
@@johnlee1352 Thank you 😁. So glad to be out🤗. Your snark and seeming bitterness makes me wonder if you don’t wish you were out too😉
I lost so many lifelong friends when I left the church, even though they had been my friends when I wasn't a member before joining. I felt like their friendship had been a means to recruit me. Yeah, they considered it "saving" me, but still...
Exactly. I’m so sorry to hear that
Yea, so sorry, youre not alone...and they call that "friendship evangelism" its actually a thing and more common than you think.
I know it can feel like they only befriended you to recruit you, but it's important to remember how pressured people are to not associate with apostates, so they likely loved you for you the whole time they're just not allowed to anymore without facing scrutiny themselves. The friendships were still real, and you were still valid. Never forget that you were and always will be worthy of those relationships even if you lost them due to their fear or your freedom.
When you tell your friends that you reject and despise their honestly held religious beliefs, shit happens. Did you expect them to embrace your apostasy? Give you a hug?
@John Lee chill. believe it or not its possible to be friends with people of different faiths lol
My mom (3rd gen mormon) had me convinced that every single person who wasnt mormon was leading a more miserable life than we were simply because they weren't mormon. Like our shit was bad, but leaving held a threat of it being worse. It held me to it in fear a very long time after i knew that i wanted no part in the religious side. Its very hard to overcome the thought loop that breaking the rules has caused every bad thing thats happened to me since i left. Mormonism bestowed me with severe ocd 🙏 thank you god
Thanks for leaving so we didn't have to throw you out.
@@johnlee1352what a way to speak about a religion
@@victoriar8284 How should I speak to those denigrating my faith? Should I thank them?
@@johnlee1352yes! Thank them for pointing out what hurt them so you have the opportunity to improve and be more Christlike! (Be that individually or as an organization). If you think you’re perfect with no room for improvement, you’ve missed your own point of being on Earth! ❤
@@johnlee1352seen you around before john. 😂 Get the feck off the internet or I report you to the leaders for wieving this video
My favourite Anthony Bourdain quote is "Your body is not a temple. It's an amusement park: enjoy the ride!" Love how your channel is evolving.
Ah yes the famous hedonist who died early because of his constant pursuit of pleasure. The guy who "ate hot dogs" with Barack Obama. Lmao
I do not see how an Atheist alcoholic Anthony Bourdain from CNN, who Routinely used drugs & Ate exotic foods, traveled Nations & sampled prostitutes until he HUNG himself is some type of hero through the eternity of time which we all cannot escape from experience. Hopefully our eternities have fences dividing the punks from real humble non alcoholics.
Mr. Bourdain's advice should be taken with skepticism. He committed suicide for what appears to have been a silly reason.
I never though of an amusement park as something I would want my body to be. Amusement parks are kind of disgusting to me. (Regardless of any group’s religious beliefs)
But to each his own.
That explains why so many people die from overdoses, alcoholism, and sexually transmitted diseases.
I'm pretty old, but had a unique Mormon experience. I was born up in Wyoming where Mormons were active, but my parents were not rigorous, and neither were others in the sparsely populated area. Many just went to church on Sunday and the bar on Saturday. I was always a skeptic, yet gave it a hard try. It never took. I'm a naturalistic and skeptical person.
Me too and enjoy having that gift.
I lived in a small Wyoming town for 6 years. It was the bar on Friday night so church could be attended on Sunday. Im.not LDS but alot of our friends were.
What do they serve at Mormon bars?
Is the yellow tabby your puddy tat? What a handsome kitty.
Well, I guess that proves the point that she is not being truthful about Mormonism being a cult. If the Mormons you were surrounded by went to church on Sunday and the bar the next day.. they obviously had the ability to choose.
This channel is sad. They use dishonesty to try and slander a wonderful thing.
If you don’t want to practice religion, then walk away.
But… these kinds of channels make a crap ton of money from their lies and slander… so hey, why not right?!
I have no idea how or why this video popped up on my feed, but I watched the entire thing. This is a very interesting and inspiring story, and I am glad you shared it with us. Thanks!
Glad you enjoyed it! Welcome to C2C!
FINALLY!!! I watched your first podcast. Love it!! Congratulations on your rebirth and success in your show, which helps so many people!!!
Thank you so much! It’s crazy to see how far we have come.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have recently left the Mormon church and everything you have said resonates with my story so well. Especially the push for perfection and never feeling good enough. This video had me in tears because of how much I relate. It’s so nice to feel validated in my experiences.
Hi Kellie. Welcome to my channel. I feel for you! Leaving is hard but so worth it. You might also like the two I’ve done with my mom. People have also commented on his relatable she is. Happy healing! ❤️
Now you get to go on with your unaccountable life! Way to go!
I've been hearing about psychedlics for years and how they can heal trauma and PTSD. I really appreciate that you shared your story about ayahuasca. I heard that California may legalize psychedelics. Imagine how many people could be helped. Thank you for doing this podcast. You have a peaceful presence that I appreciate.
Thank you! Yes they are making huge leaps in psychedelic studies for PTSD and depression. It’s only a matter of time before they are clinically offered.
Shelise, I really enjoyed the introduction to your new podcast. I am all in when it comes to being a listening participant to your upcoming episodes. It sounds extremely fascinating. I too was a part of the same church you spoke of. Working on deconstructing the mess.
Thank you so much for your support, Donna! It means a lot. Us ex-cult members need to stick together! 🙌
I couldn’t agree more. The support is appreciated!
The BITE Model of Authoritarian Control:
Behavior Control
Information Control
Thought Control
Emotional Control
Though the Mormon Church does all these they still claim to not be a cult.
I think my problem is that the definition is too broad. The US government is a cult by this definition. No matter what group you affiliate with, you always have that group telling you how to think, feel, and act to some degree.
@@noahheninger Ain't that the truth. According to just about all people every tribe, except their own, is a cult.
Exactly!! Haha we usually say that if you have to try and convince someone you’re not in a cult…you probably are 🤔. Thanks for being here!
Hmm. This is flawed majorly. I guess you people don’t work for a company, never went to a school, and not a citizen of a nation.
@Shaun Tagatauli Exactly. This channel exists to spread hatred and ambiguity of the LDS Church, by obfuscation the differences between the TWO different Mormon churches.
It also uses that "BITE" measurement which can be applied to LITERALLY any political party and nation.
I remember the blood oaths as part of the temple ceremony. 20 years later I started to wake up and requested my name to be removed. Thanks for your important work and clarity.
😁🙏
Thanks not only for leaving but for having your weak and confused name removed from among us. Glad you're "woke".
9c
Blood oaths? That would imply that there was shedding of blood to make these covenants and that never happened. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is God's and Jesus Christ one and only true church here on earth. We know and teach the Bible and gospel better than any other denomination. Join God and Jesus Christ in their Kingdom and join their true church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and learn all that they have to offer. Learn of their glory and mercy, learn of the plan they have of you.
😮😮😮
“I made a binder”
I couldn’t love you more!
Been listening to lots of your shows but this is my first time hearing your story
Omg! The temple penalties were the final blow to my shelf too. Soooo culty. Soooo culty.
Did you experience them? Or like me, just read about them? I went as a 13 or 14 year old to be there when my half sister was sealed to us. Everyone looked so weird haha but I wasn't exposed the actual endowment ceremony
Nope, I just heard about them. I'm a millennial and went through in 2011.
But aside from the disturbing factor, I feel angry that we were never told. Or warned. And I also don't like that the "signs" are still echoes of the penalties.
You are a very brave and secure woman to speak of this in such a self disclosing manner. Thank you, it takes courage to talk about what you may see as errors in your life. Most of us are too proud and lack the self assurance to admit we led lives where we fooled ourselves.
The authenticity and sincerity with which you portray your life’s journey has to be beneficial to so many. I have been following your channel for only couple of months but just now found this beginning episode where you explain the details of your own personal journey. You are an exceptional communicator and are presenting some extremely important and relevant content. Thank you for the work you do and for your channel!
Hi! Thank you so much for your feedback. It means a lot ❤️
Thank you for telling your story. It helps others who are struggling with the same thoughts about their own beliefs. Blessed be.
When I was in my early 20’s I was converted in. Not to happy to give up coffee and beer. But after I heard that “black people were not allowed in” before 1970’s I was like. Nope. Not my God. Who would do a thing as to not allow humans of any in. We are One. From source. Our path is ours. And I believe we grow on each journey here until we reach our highest.
Great vid. Keep going.
Yes, exactly!! Thanks for sharing.
Cults to Consciousness is a brilliant title for your podcast! It tell the story perfectly!
Thank you!
Recovering Baptist here. You are a beautiful and articulate woman. Thank you for your work. Please keep doing you.
Me too! And my partner! We have so much trauma 😭
Thank YOU for having the courage and strength to follow your heart!
Keep up the great work!
Wishing you all the best in the year ahead! ❤🌍❤
Your story is beyond inspiring. Thank you for sharing! ❤
i love your content but, you re so soothing, relaxing voice, inspiring, heartful, patient, caring, intuitive, right into the point but with love, you re as a person in itself an inspiration for me. thank you❤. love from barcelona
@Cult to cosnciousness
Thank you for sharing your story! Going through deconstruction myself, so very relatable. You are so courageous! You have a pure, beautiful soul! Very inspiring!
Thank you so much! I wish you the very best in your journey!
Here's an info dump from someone that spent years in the church without being a member of the church- and why I never joined! My mom converted to the LDS church the summer after my freshman year of high school. Even though I was never baptized, she made me go to that exhausting three-hour service every Sunday despite getting no sleep and having 8+ hours of homework on the weekends. She sent me to girl's camp every summer. She enforced the Mormon dating and dress standards on me. The only social activities I was allowed to attend were Mormon youth events at the local stake.
But out of curiosity and a desire to belong, I gave my testimony on that one Sunday a month. I took that awful, sticky Wonderbread and water communion. I even (LOL) did baptisms for the dead (nobody remembered I wasn't baptized after awhile). I thought our local ward was very kind for the most part, but much of the doctrine seemed hinky.
Worst of all was that "time and all eternity" shite. Clearly they aren't thinking of people that are stuck with abusive parents or in toxic family systems, because those missionaries could never answer basic questions about things like "will God make my mom treat me better if I get baptized?"
Because of my mom I STILL get calls, texts, and invitations from the Relief society everywhere I go no matter how many times I move. Mainly I was stuck on "But I don't want 16 kids."
"I don't know if I want to get married."
"Why would God throw out billions of his own creation because they weren't LDS?" and all the other stuff that doesn't stand up to rational scrutiny.
And don't even get me started on how creepy it is that they dictate your underwear.
Then there's the impending disaster of bad marriages. You have to be a virgin before marriage while barely knowing the person, then go get married "for time and all eternity" and have sex with this person. What could go wrong? LOL Seriously, someone needs to do a video on how Mormons and the LDS church handle sexual incompatibility once you're already stuck together forever?
Decades later, there is no way any God would insist on only one way of worshiping him/her. Love is unconditional. The church has it wrong. If God was ever going to speak to me and tell me to join the LDS after being intimately exposed to the doctrine and way of life for years, he'd have done it by now. I dodged a bullet.
Thank you for sharing your story!! You are helping so many people 🤗
Thank you for listening, Stephanie ❤️
New to your podcast, every episode I have watched so far is fantastic! I am thrilled to have your podcast as a helpful resource in my faith deconstruction. Thank you for your time and efforts in producing such beautiful episodes!
YESSSS!!!! This is just so ... YOU!!!! Sola is spreading her wings solo and it just feels so right 💜
Thank you so much, Adrienne!! Sola is jumping off the cliff and ready to fly! Lol I appreciate you!❤️
Best of luck with your new channel! It's already growing so quickly! I really enjoyed hearing your story and also appreciated your vulnerability!
Thank you so much, Joel! I'm doing my best and I'm so happy to see my content being well-received and appreciated. Thanks for being here and for your support!
So glad I stumbled on to your channel. You are such a bright light!
Aww thank you so much! I really appreciate that!
thank you so much for sharing your story, Im from south america, even when my life has been very diferent to yours, I relate to a lot of those feelings you experiencied (guilt, feeling like dirt, not listening to intuiton). I really wish that I could help other persons to get rid of religion and learn how to really know themselves.
I'm so glad I found this.
I feel seen, but not in an uncomfortable way.
Thank you!! That means a lot
Just watched episode 1. I just want to say thank you for sharing your story. I was amazed at how similar my experience is to yours. I'm 54 and currently peeling back the layers of my own mormon life. I, too, grew up in a small, mormon community in Northern Utah. I was a seminary president in high school. I served a mission to Chile. I never strayed very far from the church until I was "kicked out" of the single adult ward at 31. Lost my virginity at 32. My life from my mission to just recently had been a whirlwind of challenging events, to say the least. I'm a high school teacher and coach. I taught for 20 years in Utah until I was forced out... by the "powers that be" in my own hometown, where I had taught for 12 years of my career. I applied for jobs in 10 different states, but wound up in Oregon. What a difference making that move has been for me! Living outside the bubble and realizing all of the things that I've had to deal with in my life are things I want no part of anymore. I, too, have always been interested in ghost stories and the spiritual realm. I bought myself a tarot reading for Christmas this year and it basically predicted a complete change and view of how I would proceed in life. The medium sensed a huge conflict in me that I needed to confront and deal with before I could move ahead in this whole, completely new existence in my near future. I have come across a whole network of people like me via TH-cam, tiktok, podcasts, etc. that have had stories I've needed to hear. Again, thank you for your inspiring words.
Hi Lee! Thanks for sharing! It does sound like quite the whirlwind. Oregon has great people and I found it to be very accepting. I love that you are diving into your spirituality more. It’s a lot of fun! You may want to check out Kimber’s episode. Click on videos on my page then scroll to the bottom. I think she’s around episode 5 speaking on healing the inner child. Best of luck on your journey!
Still pissed about that job, huh, Lee? Still bitter against the Mormons, I see.
The best take away from this was "You hold all the answers within you. You hold all the power." This is SO true and I hate to look around and see so many people not realise that. Great video.
Hi, Shelise Ann. Thanks for your good work. I left the following on another TH-camr's channel, a courageous person who left the LDS, this week. I thought you might like it. Please keep offering your insight, for the world needs it. . . . ~KM
"Thank you for your courage. I am one who appreciates what it takes to journey outward, leaving behind ties both familial and religious. I'm an American, 60, living in Southern Mexico (Villahermosa, Tabasco). Every few weeks, I meet LDS missionaries traversing on my little street, and occasionally I say hi, just to reacquaint myself with English and American culture. Their Spanish is better than mine, but my knowledge of Mexico and Mexicans greatly exceeds theirs. Most are from Utah, but a few, from elsewhere. They seem drawn to my American openness, but of course, that always leads to my politely telling them I am not interested in the Church of Latter Day Saints. I say a few things so they know I am not ignorant of the same.
"And after 20 minutes of chatting about American football or whatnot, and maybe about good deep dish pizza, they move on. But here's my story -- I'm from San Jose, California. In 1980, I took an LDS girl to my junior prom. Let me tell you, she was beautiful; smart too. I was quite attracted to her. Before our prom date, I went to her house to meet her mom and dad. Her mom, who was from Sweden, was staunch LDS and immediately probed me about my receptivity towards Joseph Smith and the church. Her father was an elevated member who assisted the High Council in Salt Lake with projects or business interests. Anyway, these were upper-echelon Mormons -- not rich, but devout. The girl and I never had a second date.
"About 18 years after our date, I ran into her in a grocery store in Colorado Springs, Colorado. She was of course married by then (with three beautiful children), but she invited me to her house, and we reconnected a little. Her husband was a successful computer engineer. I was going through a divorce at the time, and she even brought a gift basket over to my house for Thanksgiving and sat with me in my living room for an hour. But, she eventually realized that, no matter how kind she was, I wasn't interested in LDS. So, she disappeared again. Another 15 years slipped by. By then, I was in Mexico, but I was still in touch with one of her brothers (she had seven younger brothers -- she was the eldest and the only girl in the family). This brother was now a philosophy professor at a prominent Eastern university. I asked him how her sister was. He didn't say much but said she was OK, now a grandmother.
"My life's hobby is philosophy, so I threw from my armchair a few things out at him about epistemology. And what I got from him was something similar to what this video is about -- all through his life, he has humbly gotten on his knees to ask God to tell him if the LDS church is the true church. (We know the answer he got.) This is a professor at a prominent university. Yet his epistemology is nonetheless sophomoric, embryonic, fragile. I realized the LDS church relies on this kind of faith, and a kind of brainwashing. We are talking about a smart person here, yet it doesn't matter. The people who never leave are the folks who don't have the courage or strength to ask real, penetrating questions about what the truth is and how we know it. It's much more comforting for some to relinquish questions and just "have faith." In so doing, they surrender their rational selves for a life of belonging.
"This guy (and he's a nice guy) was glad I was happy and told me he'd pass on my well wishes to his big sister. And you know? I'm glad his sister has done well. Yet the young woman I knew in 1980, whom I took to the prom, was a thoughtful, probing, even intellectual woman. A true genius. She gave all her questions up to "belong" and raise a good, God-fearing family; to have a "safe" life that was approved of. She hasn't wanted to connect with me on Facebook -- I post too many things that are "controversial," borderline atheistic. OK, but she was still my prom date. I couldn't help feeling it was all such a huge waste. What a mind. What a heart. Yet the doctrines and security of the LDS Church were too inviting. Conformity and giving up free thought were such small prices to pay, so she believed. This young woman, in 1980, could quote Shakespeare by memory and was familiar with David Hume and Descartes. Now, she lovingly prepares gift baskets and tells the elders which homes to visit.
"I still care about her. I'm glad she's safe and well taken care of. But the disjunction haunts me a little. I knew her when she was 17. Now, I see an empty shell to an extent -- an automaton, a "perfect wife" and grandmother. But in the 70s she could think; she could reason. . . . A life of reason and self-cultivation isn't easy -- no free comforts, very little familial or institutional bulwarking. Yet the freedom of thought is worth it -- the opportunity to be oneself and follow one's interests; to believe what seems reasonable and nothing more. This lovely young woman was never able to leave her cocoon. She was a beauty that never became a butterfly. Yet she would say of me that I have left God to become a heathen, an apostate.
"Oddly, I feel I am closer to God than I might have once been, yet my God is nebulous and harder to define -- not able to be put in a box. Many need a boxed God. She needed one. And she's content, but perhaps it's the happiness of an unrealized life (as Jung would say). She is an unknown woman to all but especially to herself. My words now are for those like you and me who did not need the structure of a box. I wish C. well. She's now 60 too, like me. She did everything right. She was perfect, a perfect wife and LDS saint. But she didn't look within where all the truth lies. And life, in the end, is too short to waste on believing other people's ideologies but not delving into the essence of the self, the mind, and the true soul. And digging in the dirt while you're at it."
~Kherry McKay, Villahermosa, Tabasco, Mexico, June 2nd, 2023
Still see them often!. . .
Enjoyed reading this very much because it's nuanced, thoughtful and paints a clear picture. Thanks for sharing! 🎉 🎉🎉
I came to your channel through some other of your videos about Why I left M. And I can tell hearing your story made me feel happy about how you found your way out.
Thanks for sharing. I have listened to a few "why I left the Mormon church" videos and such and it's shocking to hear how similar the experiences are of guilt tripping and feeling unworthy to be in the church. I myself am Mormon (slowly becoming inactive, but I can't become fully inactive as I'm still a minor living with their parents) and find the gatekeeping of information astonishing. One of my final straws with the church was my first year of seminary (my mom made me take it, I had no intentions of taking it) when my seminary teacher said "don't look at outside sources and only use divinely appointed ones." as a way to continue gatekeeping information.
Another one of my final straws with the church (I guess specifically this woman) was when one of my young women's leaders said that girls should not wear revealing clothes (i.e. no shoulders, no cleavage, etc. Thank god we're allowed to show out ankles wtf) because "boYs CaN't cONtrOl thEir tHouGhTS," as if we're the ones who should be responsible for that. The purity culture is insane and frustrating and sold under the guise of "modesty".
This last bit, while not final straws, but rather grievances and frustrations with the church.
The lack of a clear answer regarding why women cannot hold the priesthood. I have asked several people why that is and the answer is always "we don't know, maybe it will be revealed sometime in the future." It's so frustrating because I feel like they know there's no good reason to it other than misogyny in the church. I'm not a hardcore feminist and I hate using the word misogyny, but the church definitely, *definitely*, would count as misogynistic imo. The role of women in the church is very traditional leaning where we are encouraged to get married young, have lots of kids, and stay at home and do woman-y things ig. I don't denounce women who have traditional roles in the household, it's just what's encouraged for women to be and as someone who has never wanted kids, it just rubs me the wrong way and makes me very uncomfortable. Also, they've recently begun, I'd say, sort of brainwashing the youth (meaning 11ish-18) with Nelson becoming the prophet. Honestly, I can't really describe it without other people having experienced the youth program in recent years. Yeah, it's bad. Be careful joining the church and know that they are really tightening their grip on teens. It's creepy and they know exactly what they're doing.
The last thing (finally), would be the overbearing encouragement of young men to serve missions. Not all young men want to serve missions. They say it's okay if you don't, but I know that the judgment and shame of young men choosing not to serve a mission is real and I feel very real passion about not encouraging them to serve a misson. It should be a choice and not some peer pressure to serve a mission. I haven't really heard it (because I'm not a man), but I know that older folks in the church ask young men (meaning 18-20, about the time they serve missions) "so when do you get your mission call?" I know it's with good intentions, but it really furthers the pressure to serve missions.
Be in the church if you want, more power to you i guess, but know that you won't ever get straight answers from the church as well as the overbearing culture to be perfect and worthy 100% of the time (it's really bad here in Utah, I just notice it more since I've only just recently lived here).
Hi! Thanks for sharing! It’s so amazing that you’re doing all this research before you’re even 18. That’s huge. It sounds like you have a level head on your shoulders and will have no problem navigating the outside world once you’re free to do and believe as you choose. Best of luck to you in your journey!❤️
@@CultstoConsciousness Going after the younglings, huh? No respect for parental rights? You should be ashamed.
@@johnlee1352she didn't go after anyone, she responded to listener who clearly wanted to share about their thoughts and experience.
Incredible story of your life . I’m so happy for you. Keep helping others.
Finally! I have waited so long to encounter such a kindred spirit! I saw you on a live chat with @ubermormon . I’m very excited to watch more of the channel. I am so pleased with your work to promote the use of plant medicine to break through lifetimes of conditioning and trauma! While I have not yet been presented with an opportunity to participate in the Ayahuasca ceremonies, I have found other plant medicines that have helped me achieve significant breakthroughs in that solid steel fortress that was once my traumatized and fragile ex-mo ego. While I continue to do my own work, I’ve recognized that one of my purposes in life is to share the knowledge of these other avenues, the ones that “god” actually did give us: the plants! (not books, or anti-depressants, or temples) So I’m deeply thankful to know I’m not alone. Thanks for putting yourself out there, and please keep it up. You are doing greater work than you could even fathom.
Hi Kaitlin! Welcome to C2C! I’m so happy you are finding my channel helpful. Yes, plant medicine is truly a gift. You might enjoy the episode I did solely on the ayahuasca experience and also the one with my mom talking about her experience.
Hwy i got disfellowshipped for oral sex. My bishop at the time said even if married, that was not allowed. I had no idea of that fact, but yeah bishop court telling a room of about 6 men my BJ sins. Super uncomfortable, and i thought a little over the top. Glad you got out, its amazing when you finally feel free! Love your channel, always interesting!
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m a never Mo, but can relate to it having grown up in the evangelical Deep South. I wasn’t forced to go to church but pressure to agree with the prevailing mindset was strong. I gradually went away from it, finally embracing the atheist label 11 years ago (I’m 50-something). I still live in the deep south but our non-believer/non-religious numbers are growing even here. Also there are more progressive denominations for those who wish to stay Christian. With demographic changes, we also have Muslims, Sikhs, Buddhists, and others.
Welcome to intellectual freedom, and so much joy and wonder at life as it is rather than by ridiculous tales shoved down our throats 👏👏👏
Hi! Thanks for sharing! Yes, it’s incredibly liberating to be on the other side!
👏🙂 ❤🌍❤
hi Shelise, I have listened to some of your interview podcasts and today I listened to your own experiences. Thank you so much for sharing, some things resonated with me and also what you said about not being the trauma that you have had.Thankyou for your openness and honesty.
Found you recently and have been watching many videos. After hearing you mention being molested by your father, I had to go way back to watch your first video and hear your story. This was so powerful and congrats on 50k! 🎉🎉🎉
Same!
Seeing the first episode after watching you for over a year was interesting.
Your confidence has grown so much.
I always love listening to stories of others who've left the Mormon church, because it makes me feel like I wasn't crazy, that is what I was taught as well. I left the Mormon Church when I was 13, and even now after 12 years I still find myself getting confused by things because it was just so ingrained into me. Every time something wouldn't make sense to me when I was Mormon and I'd ask my Sunday school teachers about it, they'd always either tell me to "just have faith" or "just believe" and that frustrated me to no end because I need evidence and proof so when things don't add up, I start doubting like no tomorrow. One of the bigger things that didn't add up to me was that where I grew up in Wyoming, I was told that the first vision Joseph Smith had after kneeling and praying in the forest was of God (Heavenly Father) and Jesus appearing to him, but when I went to a small town in Nevada and went to church with our family friends there, they taught that Joseph only saw Jesus, which confused me to no end.
I thought it was funny that you said people would ask you if you have more than one Mom because it wasn't until the first season of sister wives was being aired on TV that I learned what polygamy really was (I thought it was incest - and while it can be, they're not the same thing). I always get asked if Mormons do believe they can become gods of their own planets, the magic underwear, why Mormons don't drink coffee (and why I still don't - it has nothing to do with what I was taught and everything to do with the fact that coffee is disgusting in my opinion), and if they really baptize the dead (which they are the only religion that does that). I'm glad you were able to find peace and healing. Thank you for sharing your story.
Also, I just feel I need to say something else because some of the comments are annoying me (I don't feel like commenting on their comments because I don't want to argue with them but I do feel I need to say something) - I personally believe in the loving God who gave us all free will to choose if we're going to believe in Him at all or not. I also believe that He takes into consideration the fact that some horrible people out there have used God's name in order to hurt vulnerable people and He has mercy for those victims who may not want to believe in God anymore and will turn to anything else other than Him. You do and believe whatever you need to in order to continue healing and being happy, and don't let anyone try to tell you that you have to do something in order for you to be loved by God because that is most definitely not true at all (which is something the Catholic Church has spent years helping me to understand because of the things I was taught in the Mormon church - God loves us no matter what we do or where we go in life, and we don't have to be perfect before He'll love us).
It sounds to me as though you'd never be happy giving the LSD church another chance - oh, sorry, I meant the LDS church. Also, calling the most plagiarized and world-famous fanfiction on earth 'scripture' doesn't make it Holy, it just makes it a joke - also known as the Book of Mormon (if you don't want anyone calling the LSD (sorry, it's a typo - I swear 😇🤪) church the Mormon church anymore, tell the church leaders to change it or shut up about people calling it Mormon.
I agree; if there is a God, he won't be happy to see people using his name to hurt people, collect money for their own benefit, etc. But if the Bible is true, also those cruel and selfish individuals can ask forgiveness and be forgiven.
If there is a true loving God, how can He really condemn his creations to an eternal Hell? That’s always been my biggest problem with Christianity. I started questioning it in Catholic grade school. It drove me away from organized faiths. I still can’t square it to this day. I maintain a faith of my own. It has no formal name, no formal rituals. It is based on love of all, acceptance of all, working to live the virtues that Jesus espoused (the man was a great teacher if nothing else). I believe that what goes around comes around, and those that do evil will have to face the evil that they have done and that will be a heavy punishment of itself. But eternal damnation from a loving God? Nope.
You were blessed with clear insight, and the courage to act on it! Your instincts were spot on. I'm sorry your family members don't also see it. But you did, and had the courage to act on it. I know great things are ahead! Proceed with confidence! You deserve it!
🌟❤🌟 Let your radiance shine!
I’ve been watching your channel for many months, but today I decided to go back to your oldest videos and hearing this podcast was so interesting and emotional. I’m so happy to have seen this and to recently have watched you, your husband, and little girl talk about your first group retreat. Wow, you have come a long way, I wonder when you made this podcast did you ever envision where you are now? How very wonderful to be able to share your story and the stories of your guests with the world. I’m so much more aware of how unaware I am of other people’s pasts because of what I’ve heard on your channel and others like it. I appreciate what you are doing.
Powerful!! What an amazing story!💞 You are a beautiful soul💜Love your podcast!
aww thank you so much! That means a lot!
I am so happy you questioned everything and moved forward rather than stay stuck forever. Well done!
You had a great life experience. One of personal growth and charting a path to enlightenment.
Getting off the LDS train was an important move. It’s sad, because there are some great folks I know who are still stuck on that same course.
Shalise I've been watching your channel for about 6 months, because of your interview with Chelsea Goodrich, I came to find your story. I left Mormonism behind in 2012 officially- I was in & out prior to this after having been raised in this cult! Glad you got it, blessings to healing. Blessed be.
Great account as to what happened to you,and why you left. Well done.
It does take some time for so many of us. My ascent from this cult was after being a believing member for 47 years.
Throughout that time I had accumulated questions and doubts, of which I had shelved and being so obedient to the deep indoctrination of the leaders to never allow these things to see the light of day.
I was baptized in 1970 as an 8 year olde. In an era if you said ( or ever knew )that Joseph Smith used a rock in a hat for translating the B.o.M , you would be an apostate anti-Mormon liar.
As the decades passed we now learn that yesterdays anti-Mormon lies are now Church approved Essays.
Took me 47 years to finally send a resignation letter to Utah from my home country New Zealand 5 years ago.
My study of the Church history , experiencing the perpetual flip flopping of Church leaders regarding doctrine and policy, the problematic truth claims, and Joseph Smiths philandering caused the connection of dots to all my questions and doubts.
I view the Church's tithing policy as extortion on a major scale. .
I view the leaders as blatant liars perpetuating a deception to justify aggrandized positions of power over blinded masses.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is naught but a Corporate Cult operating in today's world.
May more become awakened from this immense fraudulent religion....and leave.
"we now learn that yesterdays anti-Mormon lies are now Church approved Essays" brilliant. So many great points! thanks for sharing!
@@CultstoConsciousnessThankyou
Thanks for leaving...saved us the trouble of throwing you out. Stop it. You never were a "believing member"...just a poser. No testimony. No loyalty. From a fellow New Zealander. Kia Orana.
Exactly!
Thank you so much for removing your weakness and confusion out from among us. Honestly, you never believed. You never had a testimony. Just a poser and a fraud for almost half a century. Housecleaning in any organization is a healthy and necessary chore...keeps the body of saints healthy and is necessary to rid the church of the dross and offal that cycle in and out of the church from time to time. Again, thanks for saving us the trouble of throwing you out.
Your production is amazing and your story is compelling. I am also from Utah and raised as a Mormon. Everyone I knew closely in Salt Lake City was also a Mormon. I left the church when I was 17 because I felt that Mormon leaders were full of judgement and conceit. But I had not studied Mormon history until just a few years ago. I had no idea the degree of dishonesty and horror of the Mormon history. And even more shocking was to discover the lies and cruelty from Joseph Smith and Brigham Young. Read these two autobiographies: Tell It All by Franny Stenhouse and Wife No.19 by Ann Eliza Young. They lived the Mormon life from the beginning stages. Thank you for your TH-cam blog/production. I will watch everything you show. Steve C. age 76
“I didn’t realise how much I was suffering until later in life.” 🔥🔥
🙏
Holy cow! You left us hanging in the end! Thank you for sharing your story! I’m really enjoying your TH-cam channel!🤗
Yep. Fear, shame, guilt, and extortion. Pay up or never see your family again.=Mormonism...
exactly!!! It's a pay, pray and obey religion. One of the ONLY religions that actually separates you from your family if you aren't righteous enough.
Wow! What synchronicity. I just signed up for my first ayahuasca cermony. I was not expecting this to come up in your video.
Great job! I’ve been enjoying the channel but just found this 1st episode, now I like you even more 😊
Aww thank you! I’m hoping you mean “I like” and not “unlike” 😬😂❤️
Kudos to you for starting this podcast on such an important issue, and being courageous enough to also share ypur personal life in the process.
Gracias por compartir con fundamento lo que hacen y causan los cultos, grupos o sectas en la vida de las personas.
He pasado por distintas religiones y sectas y debo decir que, lo que compartes es real, porque todos lo hemos vivido de algún modo.
Pensar distinto o cuestionar o preguntar más de la cuenta es imperdonable, también soy SUD como tú.
Saludos de Chile 🇨🇱
Hola! Gracias! Yes, mind control for the betterment of organizations, not necessarily their members, is real and I won’t stand for it. Thanks for being here! 🙌
Absolutely LOVE your story! I have a very similar story to yours, but I did go through the temple and was married there. I never did feel whole, or good enough. Once I went through a divorce, I was shunned by my entire ward - and we had a very civil, kind divorce - 13 years later we are still best friends. That was when I totally shifted and really dove in to the history and reality of Mormonism. I now I'm immersed in energy work and mediation and have never felt more 'at home.' I would love to have you on my show one of these days. I would also love any information that you have on these retreats - i feel like its the final piece of the puzzle to finally work through the 'dark night of the soul' and really heal and purge my childhood trauma (abuse, abandonment, etc). Thank you for being so raw!
I grew up in it. I started veering away around 16/17. My mom was probably one of the kindest people I've ever known, and everyone that knew her agreed. She had a difficult time in the church being a single mother, but she kept her faith until she passed. She never judged me or my sister for not believing. I feel like my mom was a rarity in the church. She never tried to force us to any of it. She respected us and our decisions. We weren't bad people or kids, never been in legal trouble, never did anything considered bad in society either. Never got hooked on drugs. Drank some, but weren't alcoholics. My sister recently passed away and it's been messing with me a little bit. I believe in a God. I never got back into religion. Losing family members that were so close to me has made me reflect toward religion. I feel I'm susceptible to cults b/c of growing up that way and now this happens. I really appreciate your view points on all of this and your story as it helps me remember why I left in the first place. I've started going down the rabbit hole of everything and have learned things I never knew about the church that makes me question how so many people fell victim to this in the first place, but then realized, blind faith has caused this.
Your dear mother was the product of Mormonism. Sounds like you approve of the result. Your Mom endured until the end..God bless her.
@@johnlee1352 i approve of her actions in protecting us from what others in that cult tried to do to us.
@@samlewis4195 "Kindest", "kept her faith", "never judged", "never forced", "respected us"...sounds like you loved her. She was a Mormon after all...
@@johnlee1352 I love my cousin who’s a drug addict in prison too, what’s your point?
@@samlewis4195 If you are willing to compare your mother's faith to your cousin's criminal choices, you're a complete idiot and didn't deserve your mom.
I love this journey you’re on! It’s exciting to see!! Thank you for sharing!! 🙏🏽🫶🏽☺️
This is the video I needed to watch before I made a comment(s) on your podcast. I am glad you are helping to get people to consciousness. Agreed, people are responsible for their own choices, yet mind control affected me greatly. In my twenties I was afraid of having sex because of getting kicked out of the church. Although Mormonism is my 2nd religion. I was having trouble with self exploration. My parents were encouraging me to have sexual relationships since I was in college.. I had a bishops that were lenient. I always believed that God would still connect to us no matter what. I had and do have spiritual experiences outside of church. As you know, you may have heard in church, "you can't have the spirit with you if you don't keep all the commandment." By the way I really like James Van Prog and what he shares. I knew that what the church was saying was false about not having the spirit. I got mad. I knew it was guilty trip stuff. That was the wedge eventually led me to leave. Also, I remember the first presidency wrote a world wide letter about a program called, "Impact training" out of Utah? It was read to my congregation. Years later I went to that program while I was reading Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. I dropped. I went to this Impact training because a friend suggested it. I called it a psychological training because it gives tools to assist people to live their life in a healthy way. The church doesn't want people to hold leaders accountable for their lies, lack of integrity, etc. The church is what 2 Tim. 3:5 says..... having a form of godliness, but deny the power there of. Members are like Jewish rabbis and philosopher's is what I see now. I am Jewish and served a mission. I was glad to hear you connect with ghosts. That is pretty cool.. I can feel their energy, but no real communication like you. My mom use to do automatic writing. She stopped like you because the church told her to stop. She is now getting back into it. She does energy work and stuff like that.....Automatic writing is something I want to try through Kaballah. I am in the film industry myself. I am thinking of writing a book about spiritual experiences. When is your book coming out?
Thanks for sharing. I really liked hearing about your journey. I see I didn't need to be concerned about you with your interview with John D. He was one of your experts. I got it. I'm looking forward to watching your other podcasts. I really like that bit you read in the beginning........ "your tag line". (trying to be funny here). It's perfect.
"you can't have the spirit with you if you don't keep all the commandment." You are misquoting that. You can't have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost if you aren't keeping the commandments. That doesn't mean you are just abandoned by God. God will always go and try to find someone and bring them back in.
We also don't teach that the spirit can't be present in other congregations nor that you can't have spiritual experiences outside of the Church.
"The church is what 2 Tim. 3:5 says..... having a form of godliness, but deny the power there of" No, we aren't the ones who deny God's power. We constantly say His power influences our lives with the Priesthood.
"John D. He was one of your experts." If the is John Dehlin then the only thing he is an expert as is being a liar and hypocrite.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is God's and Jesus Christ one and only true church here on earth. We know and teach the Bible and gospel better than any other denomination. Rejoin God and Jesus Christ in their Kingdom and rejoin their true church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and learn all that they have to offer. Learn of their glory and mercy, learn of the plan they have of you.
@@dylanwilliams2202 thanks for your reply. That quote you corrected me on was not from the Bible. It was out of the mouths of leadership. The men who were bishops and counselors who stood in front of the congregation and said those very words. I don't like the behavior of guilt driven speech. I do not believe that is of G_d. I was given a rebuttal in my late 20's by someone who read a book from some member of the quorum of 70. I am talking about somewhere in the early 1990's. I told this elder that he ought to do his home teaching out of love and genuine concern for them. He fired back at me quoting that Elder from the Quorum of 70. That it was better to do home teaching from guilt then not at all. I differ on that.
Yes, I have listened to that person you mention with initials JD. To tell you the truth I don't like him. I don't like his program for the most part. Destroying peoples faith in source is not a good thing. He seems angry. Enough on that.
You mention the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost can be with you after baptism. What does that really mean? You mentioned that it doesn't mean source abandons us. What about the church members and leaders abandoned God? How does that get corrected? When I ask a question, I am doing it for discussion. Nothing to defend here okay? I want you to know I went to fast and testimony meeting to bear my testimony that G_d is a G_d of miracles. Those words I spoke that day save for a few, fell on deaf ears. I felt that ward for sure was spiritually dead. They are use to ward members saying the usual things at fast and testimony meetings. Right? You absolutely know what I am talking about.. I will not go back. Do church members really believe in miracles or just stories from the Bible?
Is it just lip service? Would Jesus, looking like a regular Joe, be able to stand at a fast and testimony meeting he share his miracles. Would people believe him? Would that fall on deaf ears?
Do you get dreams? Can the King or Angels speak to you in dreams for your life? Warnings for others? By their fruits you shall know them. Did I get that wrong?
I could share a lot more miracles and experiences. It wouldn't be to show off. It would be for people to know what is possible. The scriptures say do not cast your pearls before swine.
Look keep going church. Do the things you do at church out of love and not out of guilt. I wish you the best brotha. Peace.
Amazing story. Amazing Channel. I am learning a lot. Beautiful lady. Thank you for sharing your story and having a platform for others to share their stories. 🦋🕊️
I kinda of stopped around the type you start speaking about holistic stuff. While I believed in some factors of that, it became a big hole in my gut, since my mom had ALS and holistic doctors kept insisting they could help her. So much money lost, so little that even helped. Keep in mind, even if it did nothing to help her i don't think it made anything *worse* necessarily. It was about her comfort really. But she died, at the time that they said she'd die, within three years. If she had taken the actual medication prescribed to ALS patience she could live a potential 10+ years or more, but she didn't wanna live the way she did... so it was her choice... But yeah, holistic care was expensive, didn't do anything, and it made her tell me things like "YOU are the one who is trying to kill me. You won't let me be cured." because she was so exasperated by my exhaustion, by inability to cook things holistics recommended that she couldn't even swallow...ext ext ext
I'm sorry for saying all this but you're so cool, you do seem to care about understanding belief systems. Now i won't say holistic is bad entirely, it's helpful, it can help in many ways, but a lot of it is just... schemes for oils, schemes for elixirs or liquids that can cure any disease, and it's not true... I had to suffer that directly. But eating the way they do CAN help in the long run. Spiritual stuff is so healthy and fun, plants and gems and whatever it is that doesn't hurt anyone is fun. I love tarot so much for example, but i won't claim it's immediately real tho to me it is. I'm not trying to remove the comfort of holistic from u and if you mentioned smthn else later ima keep watching the video i just couldn't handle the triggers haha
I 100 percent understand. I do a healthy mix of holistic and western medicines. The holistic side was just a huge part of my journey of healing from abuse and recognizing it was buried in my subconscious. Tarot is fun and crystals make me happy 😁
@@CultstoConsciousness I am currently in the Mormom Church I am experiencing some of the pressures of conforming to the rules.
@@patricksmith7674 hi Patrick. I would just say that you are worthy and worthy of love whether you follow their rules or not :) I hope you find peace either in the church or out.
@@CultstoConsciousness Thank you for your comforting words I have decided that Mormom doctrine is mot for me .I believe that God is my creator and redeemer not how the Mormons are taught.
@@smts0243 I understand your concerns even though they do come across as insensitive. My father has since admitted to remembering what I saw in hypnosis (as have other family members) and even admitted to more sexual assault that what I saw. So, while holistic healing can certainly take advantage of people by healers with ill-intent, this was not the case for me.
I was in cult too. Painful point came when I said what I was say it's like a jail full of predators and I got scared me over. Now I'm a mum of beautiful girl who will choose which path she want to go with but my motto is always and forever "believe in anything but don't forget to be good person and human being".
Thank you to say all this loud!!❤❤❤
Thank you so much for your story. I recently dated a man who is Mormon. I had to end things though because the more I learned the more I knew that was a big nope for me . A absolute wonderful person and we are still friends. Your video made me see that I made the right decision .
I am the empath daughter of a narcissistic, Bipolar, paranoid delusional singe mother. She kept me as far away from my dad as possible and abuse was crazy.
Your videos keep popping up in my feed and in watching a few of them I have realized that my CPTSD, depression and anxiety parallel that of someone who has escaped from a cult. While my mothers home wasn’t a cult, I wasn’t free to leave, i wasn’t allowed to think for myself and I didn’t have autonomy over my own body. Because of these parallels I decided to come to your first video and watch from the very beginning.
today and I am a 41 year old mother of a 19 year old daughter who can see so much trauma still trapped within me that she wants me to do a San Pedro ceremony. I am a commercial driver so clearly i can not partake in any hallucinagenics but I found it very interesting to listen to your story. Thank you for sharing.
You are spot on.. Please know that growing up with a narcissistic parent can be just like growing up in a cult. Being able to identify that can be a significant step to significant healing.
Wishing you and your daughter (and your mom) healing.
Keep up the good work!
"You're not being a good influence on your boyfriend." That made me angry! That is so damaging and toxic, and frankly misogynistic! Blame the woman and don't take any blame for the man (not that there was anything to be blamed for in the first place, of course).
Those worthiness interviews were embarrassing as all hell, having to tell a person who'd known me since I was born the most private and things that nobody else had any right to know.
Thanks for your support, Ken! Yes, I was furious!
I've never understood why accountability isn't equal and balanced.
Especially from people who tend to think that women are less interested in sex. By that view, shouldn't he be the one seen as more to blame?
WOW! I'm so happy for you! I wasn't raised in an occult , but raised isolated and was abused from the age of 3 or 4 , we thought it was normal. Hard to talk about. But I right , my older sister draws , my younger sister writes poems..😢..my title would be , Victims. Of Circumtances. A lot of thought has gone into my title...but only the book in my head!! Jesus has saved me!! That's all can say..maybe I will Wright my book one day. You guve me hope
I stopped going ten years ago at the age of 20. I felt extreme pressure to go on a mission while suffering from severe anxiety and trauma, it was bad. There was no way I wanted to spread the gospel and there was no way I was going to be able to do public speaking and approach strangers. I have similar stories surrounding the shame and embarrassment they pile up onto people surrounding their sexuality and normal human life/emotions. I now play a delicate balance with my family, who are all still very much in the "doctrine". I love them very much but its hard. I think they spend less time with me because I have made it very clear I am not coming back. Now my brother and sister in law are having a baby and I feel like they are just going to try to keep me out of their kid's life as much as they can.
Hi Joshua! That is heartbreaking and I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks for sharing
I felt alot of this! Thank you! Finally breaking free was a great feeling but I also felt horrible and i am finally able to express myslef and have ups and downs still but glad i have made it.
Hi! Thanks for sharing! Nothing quite like freedom!❤️
I was a child attending the mormon church. What got me out was my parents' divorce. I was too young to be baptised (thankfully) and was raised as a true christian baptised, confirmed everything! My father stayed but wasn't really serious until later on. He married twice more (no polygamy in Australia) and had another daughter. He decided to disown me and my sister but we received a wedding invitation to his third wedding - apparently they went to the temple. He got sick and wanted to know if he was a grandfather (we didn't disclose this to him because we knew that he would try "baptising" them the mormon way so they can "live forever") He died and I attended his very weird funeral where my baby sister (who was an adult by then) refused to speak to me and all the mormons stay on the other side of the room. I have no relationship with my sister and her mum and they do not have anything to do with my children. I went to school with a few kids who were mormon. I've had some exposure growing up but I was lucky to escape as a 4 year old.
Oh my gosh that’s so awful. I’m so sorry you went through that. Mormon programming is really strong and they probably thought interacting with you would affect their eternal salvation.
...and we dodged a bullet...thanks for staying out.
@@johnlee1352good man johnny you’re doing a mighty job there
@@johnlee1352 Why so bitter towards ex-mormons? Did they killed your dog?
@@Dexuz Not anger...just glad they're not a part of us anymore. I only thank them for leaving voluntarily so we don't have to throw them out.
Enjoy your TH-cam. Pleasant to listen to and very educational. Keep doing what you’re doing!
Much appreciated!❤️🙏
Who am I? That was my main question after I left. Thanks for starting this, I listened to your other podcast and love how you interview your guests. You are someone who inspired me to start my own podcast. Would love for you to be a guest on mine if you are ever interested!
I'm so happy I found your channel! This is so interesting, can't wait to watch more 🤗
I did Ayahuasca too, but saw/ felt nothing out of the ordinary, just the neon lights that any hallucinogenic makes you see, I went there with an open mind and it just made me realize that what people see / feel is what's already in their brains, believers in Christ or the virgin Mary see/hear them, those who believe their dead relative is watching them see /hear them, it's only us, only our brain, so I don't really believe in anything "spiritual"
Look at you!! Such a new podcast baby!! I’m so proud of you!! ❤
Im a multi generation Mormon. Born and raised in the church and all my friends are Mormon. I’m turning 18 in less than a month and I want to leave the church. Too much blackmail, cliques, hatred, judgment, racism, abuse, covering up crimes, taking money that only goes straight to the leaders, etc. It’s a cult in my eyes.
The problem with being able to leave lies in my housing and relationships.
My family has never had money. We have lived with my grandparents since I was 4 and without them we would be homeless. If I leave the church I might get kicked out. My grandparents would freak on me and my parents and it would create such a hostile environment.
All my friends are Mormon. If I leave I’ll more than likely lose even my best friend. I don’t think I’d be able to cope and would have to check myself into a hospital so I won’t end it.
I am very medically complex. If I don’t have my parents insurance I will be THOUSANDS of dollars in debt within the first YEAR. No I cannot get a job now to save either. If I get a job my whole family loses their insurance and they’re all medically complex too.
Without the church I don’t know what id do. My whole life is built upon this. I already have suicidal thoughts and have almost made attempts before. I’d probably literally kill myself without being ensured I won’t lose everyone and everything I love.
Fucking hell, for a god that supposedly loves me so much he’s really a controlling asshole who lives to see people who loved him, suffer.
If there is a god, I tried. I devoted my whole life. This doesn’t seem true to me. This doesn’t seem right. Mormons have dangled the 7 miscarriages my mother has had right over hers AND my face telling us that we won’t be able to see them ever again unless we conform to the group. That’s so FUCKED UP. If you really loved me and this church was true, NONE of that shit would have happened.
I’m so fucking done with living, and living this lie.
Too bad loyalty and constancy are not genetic...
This whole post seems like you are getting mad at things that just aren't true or are in your mind. For example, how has the church or individuals "dangled the 7 miscarriages my mother has had right over hers AND my face telling us that we won’t be able to see them ever again unless we conform to the group" Like what? Sorry but I am going to say that never happened.
"Too much blackmail, cliques, hatred, judgment, racism, abuse, covering up crimes, taking money that only goes straight to the leaders, etc." All this is just a blatant lie and can be easily disproven and I would be happy to disprove it however that isn't the issue, let's get to the real problem.
"Fucking hell, for a god that supposedly loves me so much he’s really a controlling asshole who lives to see people who loved him, suffer." and "If you really loved me and this church was true, NONE of that shit would have happened." Awe, there is the problem. You blame God and the Church for all your problems. With all do respect. your not the only one with problems. I have a heart condition that I have had to deal with my whole life. My father has physically and mentally abused me my whole life and when I went to go live with him because my mother's house was filled with filth and was a hoarders he kicked me out. He kicked me out after I tired committing suicide 3 times, and I mean that was the reason why he did it. He then broke into my grandparents house (where I was staying at after he kicked me out) and screamed at me and told me as he left "You can go kill yourself now Dylan, I don't care whether you live or die." I say this not to gain sympathy but to remind you that everyone deals with problems, faithful members like me and non members alike. It's how you deal with them that matters.
You getting mad at God and saying the Church isn't true doesn't change or fix your problems. Leaving the Church isn't going to change or fix your problems. Many of our Prophets has literally said that you will still face hardships in this life even when you join or are in this Church. That being in this Church doesn't mean you will not feel pain and sorrow and hardships will still come. The difference is that you can either turn to God and Jesus Christ's and have their help so you can go through whatever your going through with ease (Like is says in Mosiah 24:14) or not and still be going through these hardships but without God's and Jesus Christ's help.
This is where you are at, take my advice and look to God and Jesus Christ and ask for their help to get through your hardships (also probably talk to a therapist and/or ask for a priesthood blessing by someone you trust and respect, maybe your bishop, if you haven't already) or get mad at me for telling you some hard truth and type an angry comment back towards me that won't really make you feel better nor make your hardships go away.
As someone who was suicidal before, like does get better. Don't give up on yourself and life. You will find happiness if you want to find it and let it in. Same thing with God and Jesus Christ. The atonement isn't just for sins, it's for all injustice including injustice that is done to us.
Living in a reality based on distortion is not worth living but there is a way to not give in to the lies and anything that is based on harm no matter what the label is. Your honesty and clarity will serve you. Trust your own “inner instructions”, your own authority to navigate this situation. The resources and support will connect with you as you listen to yourself and take the action that’s true and in right timing to you. It may seem like micro movements, but your intention and desire to live honestly and directly from pure love (not conditioning) will ground and align with what you really want.
I admire and respect your clarity which is amazing especially at your age AND living IN an environment that is conditional. It took me decades. Please continue to be true to yourself. The world, the cosmos, we need You as You. The changes that are evolving in our communities and even the world will reflect greater respect and natural authentic living. 💖
Trust in God, no, not the Mormon made up god. Fear keeps us paralyzed. Satan is good at keeping us paralyzed. Satan is rampant in the Mormon church. If you don’t believe this, look at all of the satanic imagery on the SLC temple. Once you get rid of all of your Mormon doctrine, you will feel an overwhelming sense of letting go of the ties that bind.
Just listening now to get a refresher because I was a JW many years ago and was disfellowshipped and I never returned and have been living in Northern VT for many years now. We have just recently had mormons move in a couple of houses down on this rural dirt road and I just knew it was odd. I was in a cult for some 20 years and being 64 now I'm so glad I left at the age of 35 but, it was scary for sure and I had a lot to learn. I now regard myself as infinite awareness having a spiritual experience here in the 3-D reality. I haven't met these folks yet and i'm sure they will stick to themselves as the rest of us would be considered worldly in their view. Thank you
I remember when I first read the BITE model my first thought was "this describes the church so well that it must have been written by anti-mormons to attack it".
That was the precise moment I realized I was in a cult.
Haha oh my gosh, yes!!!
The BITE model can be applied to any Church or organization. The BITE model would say that the military is a cult. No intellectually honest person would call the Church a cult.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is God's and Jesus Christ one and only true church here on earth. We know and teach the Bible and gospel better than any other denomination. Join God and Jesus Christ in their Kingdom and join their true church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and learn all that they have to offer. Learn of their glory and mercy, learn of the plan they have of you.
@@dylanwilliams2202 and this is why people call it a cult. no intellectually honest person- at least one with half a grain of sense and knowledge- will deny that the church is very cult-ish. behavior control- check. information control- check. thought control- check. emotional control- check.
you see how you can't actually deny that it is one unless you deny all of what it does.
The BITE model can be used to call every organized religion a cult. So broad and universally applicable.
GIRL YOU JUST CHANGED & HELPED ME TY TY ❤❤❤❤
I was raised a catholic and this description fits perfectly for the catholic way of life.
-it surely does
You are amazing!!! I found your channel a few days ago and I am fascinated.
Aww thank you!! Welcome to C2C! Happy to have you!
The saddest thing I ever heard was my sister-in-law telling me how it makes her upset knowing her husband (my Brother) will have multiple wives in Heaven (according to the Mormon beliefs). I'm sure most men would hate thinking about their wife having multiple partners in Heaven too. Big time CULT....run!!!
Lol he won't though!
I had to go back and watch your story because this channel is amazing and has been so eye opening for me. I stumbled into it a few months ago.
I was raised in what I see now as a cult. Mostly within my family but it was an extremely fundamentalist Christian home. My sisters and I were homeschooled, lived off grid when I was born and very much brainwashed. We attended a church that taught the IBLP very strictly until my parents felt like it was too much for us but still taking some of the ideas with them as they stayed attending home church where we stayed until I was 12 and then it fell apart so we attended a Calvary chapel from then on….so much trauma from all of these groups and my own family. The way the church handled abuse was horrific.
But I left because I started searching and exploring the Bible even deeper as well as other beliefs and spiritual beliefs which helped me to fully deconstruct. It was over the course of a few years but I didn’t fully get out until I was 29. I too really connected to some spiritual ideas and have also taken some eye owning substances.
I feel free now and really so grateful my own kids will not be raised the way I was.
Your story out was really familiar even though it’s mormanism.
Thank you for sharing it!! ❤
I was out when they tried to say Jesus was white
Just watched your podcast/your story on Mormon stories, and realized I haven’t watched your first video. ❤ 😀 didn’t grow up in a cult, but I find this channel very informative. ❤ learning more information about possible cults.
girl , I have not been raised in any religion, and I am not mormon or anything like that, but please do not promote Ayahuasca, I lived in India long enough to know Ayahuasca can cause psicosis and very bad things because it is an unnatural way to get to enlightement, you can get to the same place through therapy , and through your own work with meditation and yoga.
that is what makes me sad, people born into religion , they then go to the complet oposite side, milion drugs, milion partners, talking to the death... and it is not necessary to do that to heal , believe me I can tell you so many stories of Ayahuasca related cults where people have been crazily abused.
if you do something just to contrarest the other thing ... you may end up into the sasme bad place, just in a diferent way.
how many hippies I met who were born into catholic strict families, and because of wanting to free themselves did the complet oposite than their parents, without realizing they are having the same strict mindset than them, but instead of being closeminded about Jesus, they are close minded about psicoldelics and polyamor, as if that is the ONLY way to enlightement.
they are doing the exact same in reverse, and that may go well for a while but it will eventually lead to ending up as stuck as their parents, just following something else, thats it.
its sad because this creates 2 diferent extremes, one is the sufocating religion, and on the other side you have drugs, and complet caos of people who think they are healing but they are just hurting even more. and its difficult to find something where people can be kind of wholesome, be healthy together , pray and may not completely reject some of the positive values from religion, but simply do it in a more healthy, loving way
Again, I am not mormom, my parents are absolutely atheist , then dont even have a problem with me trying drugs , I simply did not wanna do it, because you can not be a mormon, and still think durgs are not necessary to free your soul, because you can do it naturally. I also believe it's better to have sex after marriage or if you are in a very comited relationship , for your mental health as a woman.
anyway... I have seen too many people get stuck into the Ayahuasca thing I can't listen to it anymore. please stop selling it like the only way to heal or this awesome thing because maybe for very repressed people it can be fine but for sensitive people it can go absolutely wrong.
just that you know, we are many people into the yoga world and new age stuff who dont have a " mormom brainwash" ( I am from Europe , I never even heard about them) and we are against Ayahuasca stuff because it's not well done , it can cause harm to certain people and we think actually americans are a bit brainwash by society into joining those retreats.
I wish you could watch Carles Tamayo, but its in spanish. he is a reporter who made documentaries exposing christian sects, maybe even mormonism, and he also exposed ayahuasca cults, and retreats. its not that diferent, you just have to be there long enough or accidentally go to the wrong place. be carefull and seriously think twice before promoting it
Wow, just found your channel a couple days ago. Fascinating episode. I related to a lot as I was raised ultra ultra orthodox Jewish (Hasidic) and left the community. I’m entirely secular now for about 13-15 years
Hi! Welcome to C2C!
I grew up in fundamental Christianity, I thankfully was born with something that made me realize something was off: my sexuality! I left the church 2 years ago after a bunch of people in this culty Bible study excommunicated me for deciding to date instead of celibacy, and I haven’t looked back since!
Yes!
@Morgan Mann "I left the church 2 years ago after a bunch of people in this culty Bible study excommunicated me for deciding to date instead of celibacy"
Dating is NOT forbidden; AT ALL.
This is exactly what makes these ridiculous TH-cam channels so frustrating. They are constantly lying and manufacturing imaginary oppression to justify their hatred for other people.
@@Matthew-Anthonyread it again, same sex dating is forbidden
@@Alexis-tx5enSame sex dating is not an "excommunicated" offense. People do not care about same-sex dating. They just encourage it in any way.
@@Matthew-Anthony how do you know? The op never mentioned the church they used to attend just that it was fundamental Christianity.
You are such a powerful woman! I've been binging your videos the last few months and I'm glad I got the badass "origin story". Shelise (sorry in advance about spelling) you are so inspiring! I dont agree with all the methods, but everyone is entitled to therir own life and ways, and I'm so glad to hear how you found yourself.
Thank you so much! I know they are atypical and can get culty in their own ways, but since then, my dad has admitted to more abuse than I witnessed and I’m pregnant with a beautiful baby like I saw in my ayahuasca journey. It’s truly magical and I’m so happy 🥰❤️
I'm glad your show exists.
I'm a transgender Mormon, even though I'm still an active member, I also living a full life. It's a wierd ride. I've tride leaving several times, but I'm still pretty active for an out trans chick who doesn't pass. It's often a interesting time of me just not saying anything, but my presence definitely ages so e people very uncomfortable. And I'm glad.
Commenting for visibility, as I really love what you’re sharing on your channel! Looking forward to hearing much more!
Love & Light🫶🏻