Shell Cshells, I can relate! Try to distance yourself. However, kill them with kindness❤️Don't worry about it. Only focus on your relationship with God❤️❤️
AlbumLeViola, imo, I think it depends on the nature of the gossip. If it's nitpicky, overly critical kind of gossip, I'd be wary. On the other hand, being a gossiper isn't necessarily a deal-breaker, esp if it's not spiteful gossip.
@@chris__10 i think a harmless gossip like "oh shes moved somewhere else, guess shes just bored of her life" is acceptable, i guess... Except for like "oh shes moved somewhere else just coz she think shes rich and look down on us worthless neighbors" (when shes actually the nicest lady)
self absorbed snobby and smug people enjoy acting superior and acting like they are perfect and enjoy people's misfortune to feel better about themselves. These people can be perfectionist and snobby and have big ego. Snobs.are usually not that genuine people because they have superior attitudes. Genuine people care about people's feelings and are loyal people and treat people the way they want to be treated. It's best to keep it polite and not always talk about yourself and self reference you are doing .
I'm so amazed that this isn't even gender-related, as I've seen males who gossip just as badly as females. It's amazing how _insecure_ people can be. They somehow think they're the center of the universe, and _everything evolves around them._ Really weird. Life's so short anyway. I put my energy into more expansive things. Might as well invest our energies _wisely._
I am quite sure there has been gossip is when they invite you to the party so you will see them ignoring you. They also use the names of people you know who are associated with you as though they are their friends but you know you are not friends with the gossiper. They want us to feel as though our friends are with them and against us too. I am convinced that the one who gossips to you will want you to go to the people they talk about so that we will look like the gossiper. I am also convinced the best way to deal with this is to ignore them completely. "Ignore the ignorant."
If someone sees you and starts whispering to someone else, that's not "behind your back" FYI. And the easiest way to tell if someone is gossiping about you is whether they gossip about everyone else, TO you.
I bought one of those USB voice recorders, looks exactly like a USB but offers continuous recording for 30 hours when fully charged. Put it anywhere on your office desk especially on days that you're absent, or at a family gathering. What I found out is people who are seemingly nice to me or actually bad-mouthing me.
I do not see it but I know that two of my " colleagues " gossip out of insecurity, jealousy and immaturity. One even asked me what I had for dinner and I dismissed the question talking about work ! He wanted to pick on anything to turn it against me but I did not give him that pleasure.
Yesss, I have a sibling that I adore but she tells me when my Dad or another sibling says something derogatory or negative toward me, and I tell her, " im going to confront them or ask them about it."....In a calm way, just to settle things and iron out any confusion....but she always says .."No , dont say anything to him/her!!!" But the last time I even said " why? You KNOW how I am! And it's hurtful, hearing these things, but its even more painful to NOT be able to confront due to avoiding chaos!! 💔 But what else can I do....smh
Sounds like signs working in a toxic work environment I used to work in. I am glad I am not working there anymore. As for those who always talk behind people's back well...karma is going to bite back at them sooner or later.
In some small towns, this does not always work. So and so said this about you (true or false...) or maybe So and So simply doesn't like you because you dress or act differently than the other yokels. Or they think you have more money than they do. Or whatever. And then... So and So has a cousin and a cousins cousin, and they all talk to the neighbors. And then before you know it, no one will hire you anywhere. Sounds bizarre, but it has happened to me!
Emotional Honesty Yup, this happened to me recently. The funny thing is both women talk about each other to other people. Silly women. LOL I have pulled back from the one that was supposed to be a friend and by mid year she’ll be a figment of my imagination.
I wish I had taken the high road too, but unfortunately I confronted the man and it perpetuated the rumor that I was a cheater, sex hungry and what not. That man involved so many people in order to dodge my questions and hide behind them, that it became a huge drama. 10 year old acquaintances messaged me on Facebook, casually taking his name to see my reaction and it triggered me so bad. I was raging in grief and people labeled me as crazy. I don't think I'll ever be able to attend my reunions.
Honey you did the right thing by confronting him. Now he that YOU KNOW the truth! And truth shall set you free. You are smart, brave and in the right. The grief is normal cause you've been hurt, but honey... You are above all of them, I'm not just saying that, but people with that attitude ends up no where. They might run fast but not for long.
Yes, I like this approach. Yes, you should be polite, but cold. I would also reconsider the friendship with the other people because if they were your real friends, they wouldn't behave like this. I think people sometimes just don't know how to pick good friends and then they're reluctant to cut such people out of their lives. Bu they're toxic and must be removed.
I deal with this it’s like people talking behind my back stabbing I can feel it everyday I had that crazy dream something told me something about me going somewhere when my dad told no I’m not gonna bring to Nashville the dream said no you are not going to Nashville you can forget it so it made me cry sometimes I feel like the people that invited me really thinking about it the sweet stuff came from them the minute I walked in with a gift they knew I was coming they said where’s my hug then not long they turned off their Facebook messenger chat now I cannot reach out to them they are very nice at first
Dude. You can tell someone is talking behind your back by things they say. Things that come back to you. Underhanded comments that tell you they were thinking evil of you and want to justify it. For example. " I think you're using your illnesses as a crutch." You might also notice that even though they seem like good people..their friends are also vindictive gossips with no real moral compass. Or when someone comes up cussing you out because they made a big deal out of nothing and complained to someone who knows nothing. It won't be just a single time it happens. Yah. Play it cool. They take these passive aggressive jabs at first. When you don't do anything they pretend to be your friend still but you're watching and say nothing. Then one day....they do the unthinkable. They get worked up over some meaningless crap bc really it has all been building in them over time. So they look insane. They look how they really are. Worthless. So then I've been calm the entire time, gave them zero reaction, then walk away. They have gotten zero satisfaction and they are exposed. Simple.
Love your video it really was on target with facts. How i deal with this situation is put invisible ink on the person act like they dont exsist Then when they try to say anything say "I heard what you said about me so im choosing not to communicate with you anymore." Then block all contact with them. (It so works lol) But if you have something bad back to say say it to a big mouth then they will say what you want them to know . (Makes then feel real shame) Works perfect especially if its a friend talking because when you invisible them like literally acting like they are not there IT HURTS THEM.
I have been watched many of your videos. Thank you for the good content! 😊 Question for you: What if you are that friend who is hearing all this gossip from the toxic person and want to ensure you friend knows but does NOT wanna be dragged into the drama? Any ideas...
Would you please do a video on what to do or how to avoid envious people Especially when random people who you don't know walk pass you and they spit on the ground indiscriminately?
How did I end up here again yo... If you have reasonable grounds to believe it, then you ask them respectfully in public in front of everyone. And while it can take some courage, everyone present that knows you and them will also know the truthful answer to your question. The person that is accused of gossiping however must answer. If they lie, everyone around will know and you can leave judgement up to them. It is also a good self-reflection-practice for those "friends" that took part in their gossiping. If it was a misunderstanding, at least you asked them directly and cleared it up. Dont associate with people that gossip about others or you :) . There are many nice folks out there that wont do that.
My first few days in my new class and people were already gossiping about a few others and I knew immediately they'll talk about me too. I tried to get along with the group (tiny class) but they mutually hate one guy (good reasons) but then after it was resolved they continued hating on him to bond with each other and I just cannot continue faking my cheer and try to get along. So I revert to myself and just do my work, be my introvery self. One girl kinda cornered me a few times about the guy they hate and finally today I slipped and say I don't take sides. Immediately I knew this is the ground I stand on now, and I couldn't even take it back because it's the truth. I was so anxious because I knew that's the moment I truly set myself apart from the group. But what's done is done. I was already stressed from how much they joke around, being an introvert, I don't know how to join in cussing heavily and chatting like they do, nor can I justify talking trash about even an arse of a guy. I was the most studious one because the others barely work much. So now I'm a bit paranoid that they will now turn against me too for being neutral (the guy they hate is an arse, but he hasn't done anything too horrible or affected my studies, I have dealt with much worse so I really have no feelings whatsover). But I have great friends outside, and a plan for the future with lots of work to do. So. I will survive somehow. Thank you for this. I was just worried but who knows really. This will be helpful one day or the other.
I think a lot of times they won't even say or mention WHO said this or that. They'll usually try to withhold it from you. Very lame. Why bother telling someone they're being talked about and then be two faced about it?? Tell the person who said it, I think people who do that aren't any more trustworthy than than the backstabber is. If the person telling you you're being talked about behind your back won't tell you who's doing this, they're not really in your corner. They just want to meddle.
Don't associate with gossips no matter who they are gossiping about. They'll do it to you also!
Shell Cshells, I can relate! Try to distance yourself. However, kill them with kindness❤️Don't worry about it. Only focus on your relationship with God❤️❤️
don’t associate with gossips no matter who they are gossiping about.They will do it to you also
If someone habitually talks about others to you, then...
They will talk about you too!
Renee' Massey-Mahan, exactly.
But what if the gossiper is your bff???? Bff is supposed to keep ur secrets so can u trust them????
AlbumLeViola, imo, I think it depends on the nature of the gossip. If it's nitpicky, overly critical kind of gossip, I'd be wary. On the other hand, being a gossiper isn't necessarily a deal-breaker, esp if it's not spiteful gossip.
@@chris__10 i think a harmless gossip like "oh shes moved somewhere else, guess shes just bored of her life" is acceptable, i guess... Except for like "oh shes moved somewhere else just coz she think shes rich and look down on us worthless neighbors" (when shes actually the nicest lady)
Great advice! If you bring it up, they act like narcissists and will probably blame it on you.
self absorbed snobby and smug people enjoy acting superior and acting like they are perfect and enjoy people's misfortune to feel better about themselves. These people can be perfectionist and snobby and have big ego. Snobs.are usually not that genuine people because they have superior attitudes. Genuine people care about people's feelings and are loyal people and treat people the way they want to be treated. It's best to keep it polite and not always talk about yourself and self reference you are doing .
Exactly!
your videos got me through the times i was bullied in middle school, thank u marie!
Sorry to hear that you was bullied.
I'm so amazed that this isn't even gender-related, as I've seen males who gossip just as badly as females. It's amazing how _insecure_ people can be. They somehow think they're the center of the universe, and _everything evolves around them._ Really weird. Life's so short anyway.
I put my energy into more expansive things. Might as well invest our energies _wisely._
facts
Polite, but cold. Thanks for your advice ❣
I am quite sure there has been gossip is when they invite you to the party so you will see them ignoring you. They also use the names of people you know who are associated with you as though they are their friends but you know you are not friends with the gossiper. They want us to feel as though our friends are with them and against us too. I am convinced that the one who gossips to you will want you to go to the people they talk about so that we will look like the gossiper. I am also convinced the best way to deal with this is to ignore them completely. "Ignore the ignorant."
I like to think that everyone is doing there best then I am not disappointed just kidding
Don't trust people who are jealous of you.
Sometimes people won't let you know but a lot of this detected in body language
Ignore them best way.
If someone sees you and starts whispering to someone else, that's not "behind your back" FYI. And the easiest way to tell if someone is gossiping about you is whether they gossip about everyone else, TO you.
You are what I call A woman with class
I bought one of those USB voice recorders, looks exactly like a USB but offers continuous recording for 30 hours when fully charged. Put it anywhere on your office desk especially on days that you're absent, or at a family gathering. What I found out is people who are seemingly nice to me or actually bad-mouthing me.
I do not see it but I know that two of my " colleagues " gossip out of insecurity, jealousy and immaturity.
One even asked me what I had for dinner and I dismissed the question talking about work !
He wanted to pick on anything to turn it against me but I did not give him that pleasure.
Yesss, I have a sibling that I adore but she tells me when my Dad or another sibling says something derogatory or negative toward me, and I tell her, " im going to confront them or ask them about it."....In a calm way, just to settle things and iron out any confusion....but she always says .."No , dont say anything to him/her!!!" But the last time I even said " why? You KNOW how I am! And it's hurtful, hearing these things, but its even more painful to NOT be able to confront due to avoiding chaos!! 💔 But what else can I do....smh
Sounds like signs working in a toxic work environment I used to work in. I am glad I am not working there anymore. As for those who always talk behind people's back well...karma is going to bite back at them sooner or later.
Your hair looks so pretty in this video! Big fan of yours, btw!
In some small towns, this does not always work. So and so said this about you (true or false...) or maybe So and So simply doesn't like you because you dress or act differently than the other yokels. Or they think you have more money than they do. Or whatever. And then... So and So has a cousin and a cousins cousin, and they all talk to the neighbors. And then before you know it, no one will hire you anywhere. Sounds bizarre, but it has happened to me!
Ooohhhhh yes! I've had that happen to me before as well...
Ooohhh yessss that happen to me I tho I am the only one
The hardest part is when i always hear what they say, my ears has great radar to gossipers and back biters.
The energy changes when I come around to see her with the person she's been talking about me with...
Emotional Honesty
Yup, this happened to me recently. The funny thing is both women talk about each other to other people. Silly women. LOL
I have pulled back from the one that was supposed to be a friend and by mid year she’ll be a figment of my imagination.
Exactly!!!!
Never tell secrets even if you trust someone
Great advice! Thank you.
Going through this exact issue right now! Thank you!
I wish I had taken the high road too, but unfortunately I confronted the man and it perpetuated the rumor that I was a cheater, sex hungry and what not. That man involved so many people in order to dodge my questions and hide behind them, that it became a huge drama. 10 year old acquaintances messaged me on Facebook, casually taking his name to see my reaction and it triggered me so bad. I was raging in grief and people labeled me as crazy. I don't think I'll ever be able to attend my reunions.
Honey you did the right thing by confronting him.
Now he that YOU KNOW the truth! And truth shall set you free.
You are smart, brave and in the right. The grief is normal cause you've been hurt, but honey...
You are above all of them, I'm not just saying that, but people with that attitude ends up no where.
They might run fast but not for long.
No one's ever told me
Edited Ever in my life I've never had someone look out for me like this
NEVER SHARE ANYTHING
Yes, I like this approach. Yes, you should be polite, but cold. I would also reconsider the friendship with the other people because if they were your real friends, they wouldn't behave like this. I think people sometimes just don't know how to pick good friends and then they're reluctant to cut such people out of their lives. Bu they're toxic and must be removed.
Hi Marie,
Just want to say thank you for your free advice that helps me during my lowest moment and it works all the time.
your videos are really helpful, thank you
A wise Yogi once said; "only small minded people talk about other people, while great minds will speak of ideas and solutions."
I deal with this it’s like people talking behind my back stabbing I can feel it everyday I had that crazy dream something told me something about me going somewhere when my dad told no I’m not gonna bring to Nashville the dream said no you are not going to Nashville you can forget it so it made me cry sometimes I feel like the people that invited me really thinking about it the sweet stuff came from them the minute I walked in with a gift they knew I was coming they said where’s my hug then not long they turned off their Facebook messenger chat now I cannot reach out to them they are very nice at first
Dude. You can tell someone is talking behind your back by things they say. Things that come back to you. Underhanded comments that tell you they were thinking evil of you and want to justify it. For example. " I think you're using your illnesses as a crutch." You might also notice that even though they seem like good people..their friends are also vindictive gossips with no real moral compass. Or when someone comes up cussing you out because they made a big deal out of nothing and complained to someone who knows nothing. It won't be just a single time it happens. Yah. Play it cool. They take these passive aggressive jabs at first. When you don't do anything they pretend to be your friend still but you're watching and say nothing. Then one day....they do the unthinkable. They get worked up over some meaningless crap bc really it has all been building in them over time. So they look insane. They look how they really are. Worthless. So then I've been calm the entire time, gave them zero reaction, then walk away. They have gotten zero satisfaction and they are exposed. Simple.
Okay. How do I confront a friend if somebody is gossiping about me?. To ask him/her if people are gossiping about me.
Someone at church has been talking about me behind my back the energy is so obvious she's uncomfortable around me now and other people giving me looks
This lady is real I like it
WHAT IF IT NEVER DIES DOWN ?
Love your video it really was on target with facts.
How i deal with this situation is put invisible ink on the person act like they dont exsist
Then when they try to say anything say "I heard what you said about me so im choosing not to communicate with you anymore."
Then block all contact with them.
(It so works lol)
But if you have something bad back to say say it to a big mouth then they will say what you want them to know . (Makes then feel real shame)
Works perfect especially if its a friend talking because when you invisible them like literally acting like they are not there IT HURTS THEM.
So glad you're back!
Really glad to be back. Thank you and have a wonderful holiday!
I love your videos. They are very helpful and informative...But what if it's family that's the gossipers and gossipees? Please do a video...
I will have to do that because family is the worst. Often, they feel like they have a "license" to treat you the way they do.
I have been watched many of your videos. Thank you for the good content! 😊 Question for you: What if you are that friend who is hearing all this gossip from the toxic person and want to ensure you friend knows but does NOT wanna be dragged into the drama? Any ideas...
That is a great one. I will do a video on this. Thank you!
Should you tell a friend if you hear gossip about them or save them from the hurt?
Tell them.
I have to say, you look amazing!
Wow deep. Thank you this is helpful❤️
Another scenario is you bring up “Ann”s name and the room goes silent…
Yep I believe people will see her true colors too
I like to confront the gossiper and watch her squirm. After that I will just give eye contact and go about my business
I think the woman talking about me at church sees me as competition
I know they don't like me and they talk about me all the time. Jealousy and Envy.
Would you please do a video on what to do or how to avoid envious people Especially when random people who you don't know walk pass you and they spit on the ground indiscriminately?
That is a good one. I will do it in the next two weeks. Thank you!
@@mariedubuque Thank you I appreciate it. I have subscribed to your channel for quite some time now and your videos are very well informative.👍
Do take the high road
How did I end up here again yo... If you have reasonable grounds to believe it, then you ask them respectfully in public in front of everyone. And while it can take some courage, everyone present that knows you and them will also know the truthful answer to your question. The person that is accused of gossiping however must answer. If they lie, everyone around will know and you can leave judgement up to them. It is also a good self-reflection-practice for those "friends" that took part in their gossiping. If it was a misunderstanding, at least you asked them directly and cleared it up. Dont associate with people that gossip about others or you :) . There are many nice folks out there that wont do that.
My first few days in my new class and people were already gossiping about a few others and I knew immediately they'll talk about me too. I tried to get along with the group (tiny class) but they mutually hate one guy (good reasons) but then after it was resolved they continued hating on him to bond with each other and I just cannot continue faking my cheer and try to get along.
So I revert to myself and just do my work, be my introvery self. One girl kinda cornered me a few times about the guy they hate and finally today I slipped and say I don't take sides. Immediately I knew this is the ground I stand on now, and I couldn't even take it back because it's the truth. I was so anxious because I knew that's the moment I truly set myself apart from the group. But what's done is done. I was already stressed from how much they joke around, being an introvert, I don't know how to join in cussing heavily and chatting like they do, nor can I justify talking trash about even an arse of a guy. I was the most studious one because the others barely work much.
So now I'm a bit paranoid that they will now turn against me too for being neutral (the guy they hate is an arse, but he hasn't done anything too horrible or affected my studies, I have dealt with much worse so I really have no feelings whatsover). But I have great friends outside, and a plan for the future with lots of work to do. So. I will survive somehow.
Thank you for this. I was just worried but who knows really. This will be helpful one day or the other.
It’s not Anne that’s stabbing me in the back it’s my younger brother living in the same household lol how do I deal with it ?
I've got a serious crush on this lady even though I'm like 25 years younger.
Thank you 🙏🏾
They don’t know my name lol that is good
There’s two females at my work that always complain, and then complain about people complaining. Like what the fuck?
Yes they do I’m tired of it
What's if its your dad though??
If they talk about other people to you behind their backs, the more than likely they’re doing the same to you. 🤷♂️
Ignore them lol
brilliant
Yup wow
Thanks
I think a lot of times they won't even say or mention WHO said this or that. They'll usually try to withhold it from you. Very lame. Why bother telling someone they're being talked about and then be two faced about it?? Tell the person who said it, I think people who do that aren't any more trustworthy than than the backstabber is. If the person telling you you're being talked about behind your back won't tell you who's doing this, they're not really in your corner. They just want to meddle.
Ty
Thanks :)