That's odd. For me it would be the opposite. I don't really believe anyone to be honest, what they say could be wrong or limited from their perspective and so it's inaccurate. I also don't believe in people because they have their own lives and their own priorities and I can't expect someone to be there when I need them. So I don't believe anyone or believe in anyone. But I don't like lies. For them to lie to me means that they're purposefully trying to deceive me. That's something that I find is almost heartbreaking. Heartbreaking that they find me untrustworthy with the truth or heartbreaking that someone I trust is trying to pull one over me. So for me that quote would be the opposite.
This is true. This happened to me. I was with a woman that I built up level trust over years. In the span of 6 months her demeanor changed and culminated in a type of betrayal. It wasn't what she chose to do, but the way she chose to do it. Now I have an antitrust of her. I expect the worst of her now, even if she won't. Because now I know what she is callously capable of. Even shev apologized, and I accepted it. Subcutaneously I can't truly trust her now.
For only as long as you are willing to let it hurt you. Eventually you're only doing it to yourself. How long until you put it down, let that weight go from your soul and move on? "BUT THEY HURT ME!!!!!!" They did, now YOU are hurting YOU. They don't care. They're off doing whatever, you're the only one continuing to hurt yourself over a betrayal. So take the betrayal, hurt, and then move on from it. Don't immerse yourself in the bitterness and the hurt.
Spot on. Before I was betrayed I always trusted my intuition. But after being blind sided by betrayal I don’t have the same trust in it, and it really hurts. I never saw it coming, my intuition was telling me to trust the person. I still struggle with trusting my intuition and instincts again a year later
I think the best policy in life is to balance awareness/intuition with logic/memory. You need to get out ahead of problems using not only what didn't work for you in the past but also what seems unlikely based on whatyou see in the world/others. You gotta learn the skill of energetically predicting how youll react to people n things based on how you feel right now and also what is waiting tobe triggered in your SHADOW!
It hurts to be manipulated, you question your intellect and judgment to unbelievable depths. I was betrayed, played like a fiddle, I’ve never felt so stupid and gullible in my life. I had to accept that I am naive, and easily manipulated, and knowing this I’ll know better in the future. I hope the woman who did this to me sees how doing what she did is wrong to do to men, and doesn’t hurt anyone else the way she hurt me, but that’s out of my control. I hope you’re doing well in life, god bless.
Agreed for me it's the opposite my intuition told me not to trust but my heart told me it's just in my head so I ended up trusting a horrific cheating narcissist spent the last year getting over it and mad at myself for not listening to my intuition the first time in the red flags I seen so I understand what you're saying
Betrayal invalidates the healthiest and most loving part of being wholesome and human. It has contempt for trust and ridicules courage. It desecrates everything wholesome and honest that we are taught as children to believe in… including the intimate connection of faith in self and in humanity. Betrayers will always abuse their power, whilst hiding behind a wall of evil as cowards, living in fear of being exposed and blamed for their treachery.
He is absolutely right. The worst is that you not only lose the now and the tomorrow, you lose the yesterday aswell. And the worst is you do not even know how far the false yesterday goes. Since when was what you had with the other person not anymore what you thought it was? Since 6 months? a year? 3 years? 10?! Was it ever what you thought it was?!
There's so much shit on the net, but your comment there sir is so insightful. I'm definitely borrowing that. Sums up my first marriage totally. Thankyou for your words.
And at the same time you should ask yourself, how often you lied to that person, how often you have been nice just to please them or not hurt them, how often you disliked something they disliked and did not tell them, how often you have been mad at them and tried not to show it, or bored, or annoyed. Then ask yourself if you are really the person who they thought all this time you were, and how much you betrayed them and they have no idea when you started the betrayal game. Probably the moment you met them, so they would find you more attractive than you really are.
@Z MO the betrayer shares his malevolence with the betrayed, like a virus. It's also a learning moment because there is always going to be sin (by ignorance, willful or not, or by deliberately evil acts) and the betrayed person is now fully awake to this fact, question is how do you deal with it.
Others betraying your trust by abandoning you for no reason at all hurts a lot. They didn't understand that all that was needed was to be listened to for one single day-- not forever.
Being your own best friend is the best thing ever. It doesn’t mean you will feel all the happiness in the world, but you will always be safe with the person who’s actions you can guide to never hurt you. You can always fall back into yourself and ultimately to God :)
Betrayal hurts because you trusted too much and the worst thing you can do is get back with someone that hurt you, never get back with your ex, people come back because they miss you and not because they changed. You can never find happiness in the same place you lost it. When they no longer miss you, they will leave u again and that's betrayal for the second time. Betrayers don't really change be careful
Logical fallacy . Generalisation . Your generally right . But not always . So what you said is like most memes . Pointless - it cheapens and disrespects the complexity of what your talking about . You won’t find a perfect human anywhere I could type a lot more but that’s sufficient
@lesdavis2318 yea id say the thought process of people like that will always betray again is usually correct. But there are alot of complex people in this world. And there some out there that are different im sure. I dont think ive met any, im just sure there out there lol
betrayal hurts coz you knew you not obligated to trust anyone and you did it anyway coz they told you to trust them. basically you blaming yourself for making mistake trusting someone while you knew you were not obligated. thats why action counts not words. i agree its how you see the world and transfer present to future.
@@nataliabenoit4653 For you and the original comment person. I just got betrayed on 22nd May, I forgave the person, but they couldn’t forgive themselves or allowed me to come close to support. I went into a severe depression attack combined with anxiety. My mind was hyperactive, I close my eyes I saw flash images and bullets of thoughts firing at a rate which was incomprehensible, so rapid. My friend studying psychology talked me out that night and saved me, else wouldn’t have been typing this. I knew where the partner went wrong, but wanted to see where I went wrong. To my surprise, I ignored a lot of things. My partner was an orphan at 10, very rough childhood, so she was very insecure and possessive and always wanted more and more of my time, which I couldn’t give due to my business commitments, plus it was a long distance. She used to regularly fight, and I tried to confront also and sometimes suppressed it also to make peace. I couldn’t understand that it was her Demand that I couldn’t have fulfilled anyway. Out of love I said I’ll change, but I couldn’t due to my busy lifestyle. Two months after I met her on her birthday, she slept with a co worker who was giving her attention and time. Numerous times I explained I’m doing work for OUR future, but she wanted instant gratification and wasn’t ready to sacrificed present for future. But that’s what work life is, sacrificing today for future, Dr. Peterson also said it in one of his videos. So in totality, I couldn’t correlate her childhood traumas to her adulthood behaviour, didn’t pay attention to cues, whatever few of them there were, and she couldn’t keep her cool. She was a divorcee, who got cheated by her husband when I met her. I could’ve never imagined, and she couldn’t understand it herself, that how can a betrayed person become a betrayer to another person. But then, it happened right in front me. Does it make me never trust women again? For the night I broke down, hell yes. But NO. It takes courage to forgive, even more courage to forgive the person, when they don’t know they’re forgiven, and even more courage to trust and love someone again. The lesson was, DO NOT IGNORE THE MINUTE DETAILS AND DATA. We get into a relation by knowing only 10% of the person, the good side, assuming it to be 100%. Everyone has MONSTERS. So do you and I. We need to know more about our partners, be more self aware about ourselves, know the demands of both the sides, and then make rules for a relationship where two people can coexist with love as binding force. That’s what I’m gonna do. Plan and Improvise.
I think a lot of people become masochists from early exposure of betrayal. It hardwires in their brain and they relive that humiliation and shame they felt from betrayal, say abuse, bullying, not fitting in, etc
Betrayal is brutal. Esp for those caught unaware, they get ambushed. The one who is supposed to have your back is the one who stuck a knife in it. JP gets it and the description of what happens physically to the brain is very reasssuring; you're not weak for falling apart, your brain *is* scattered and it takes much time for the pieces to settle.
The thing with betrayal is that it destroys the past (the moments toghether were a lie) and the future (no certainty) and the present seems pointless because you can’t trust yourself (I chose you to be close to me)
“When your relationship goes seriously wrong, that’s when your confronted with all the things you don’t know” After being betrayed and endured through a divorce this line speaks to me on a very personal and relatable level. I couldn’t agree more.
betrayal in romantic relationships absolutely destroys me, like appocalypse, doom, psychotic depression, type hurt, im not sure what to do about it. But it seems to be borderline personality type thing. Makes me unwilling to even attach these days because of one too many betrayals when I really, really taught I knew someone :/
@@Taran532 For me it has been a long time ago (20+ years) but I get what you mean. After I was betrayed I went nuts for a couple of years, couldn't believe anyone, became very cynical and more. I hurt some people as well (not physically but in some situations I was a total asshole). But after a couple of years I was okay again. Now usually people like me. So for anyone reading this; there is light on the end of the tunnel. Even if the tunnel is bend.
@@CheetahNL For me, it lasted 23 years before I was able to come to grips with all that occured. I was never able to understand my reactions, feelings, and actions until I started listening to Dr. Peterson. He puts it so succinctly.
Oh my, a fellow Cluster B? I'm in the narcissism territory of things and I completely get the feeling of betrayal. It makes me feel like I've been shot and the life has been sucked out of me. Been ages and ages, and I don't remember the last of what I would call "betrayal", but there is zero trust for anyone, and especially those who know me best. Control of any situation is accordingly paramount. It's exhausting, and it started out as a means of survival, but it's snowballed in a complete PD. So yeah, here's to avoidance. 🍻
I know exactly how that feels. A man tried to take advantage of me sexually when I opened up about my weaknesses….. serious advantage of me, the kind that makes you pull a gun on someone. I’ve been split in two, it’s always on the back of my mind. Got so bad I started having violent dreams and would wake up in fight or flight. I’m so sorry you guys know this pain! It’s unbearable
You don't love someone, you love whom you perceive they are, you love what they offer, you love the person you can be with that person. You are not hurt by the betrayal, you are hurt by your interpretation of it, you are hurt because the image you loved is hurt. That image contained who you thought you had become with this person. But don't take it personal. They never knew you 100% either. They did it for themselves, they didn't think "oh it feels so good to hurt my partner." It has nothing to do with you. They just revealed a part of themselves you never knew, a part of themselves they probably didn't know either. They shattered the sense of who they thought they were (or wanted to be) as well. My ex now thinks she is too flawed to sustain a long term relationship and become happy, she doesn't trust the level of love she is capable of feeling, she doesn't trust her impulses. I, on the other hand, am working to grow to be the best version of myself, I'm re-defining myself and the world around me. In a year, I'll be probably leagues ahead of her, I don't even define her in terms of a single mistake she made, after all the good things she did for 7 years. In fact, had she shown a spark of courage to face her own feelings, a tiny bit of willingless to control them and her actions as a strong and responsible individual, I would have considered us equals and forgiven her, but the last time we spoke her mind was too messy to make sense of it and grow positively out of that experience, so I assume she'll regress for a while. I'm not even bitter, I wish the best for her. The sooner a betrayal happens the better.
Onur Böle wow.... I also just exited a 7 year relationship with someone who cannot accept their own faults and self love.... I’m amazed at how in this one comment I feel like I can completely feel and connect with you and what you’re going through. Thank you.
@@mcassis650 You might be watching too much porn involving cheating stories, but a woman hardly ever cheats because this new man is better in bed. Men do it for a change and to still feel desired by other women, women usually do it when their emotional bond weakens. In my ex's case, this guy lived in another country. They talked online for 4 months and met once, there was no way she could know how good he was in bed. The reason she kept talking to him in the first place was that he lived so far away and she thought she'd never see him, that talking to him for a while would fill this emotional void which she thought was temporary. She felt powerful, because this guy was an asocial idiot who kind of saw her as his mentor. She was initially amused, she was curious how such a backward thinking, reckless primate could ever survive. Then she grew compassionate. We had no problem in bed, I would say it is one of the things in our relationship that I believe she'll probably never find a better replacement for.
I had AML and a donor bone marrow transplant a few years ago . It was a terrible time. But, I was fortunate to have a lot of support upon diagnosis. It was later that I started to experience one betrayal after another. As Jordan described - the orderly house. That’s where I am. Partly from pain and post treatment issues that keep me home needing that predictability. It was truly as he described. Some of the betrayals profoundly confused me as it was evident that our views of the relationship was not on the same level. These are 50 year friendships . So very naive I was. A good person. But naive. the emotional pain on an already fragile situation has made it that I basically haven’t gone anywhere except the grocery store since. Yes, I become bored and lonely. But, the betrayal from those who I trusted the most has been as life altering as my treatment from leukemia cancer.
Personal communication opens doors. People are great at covering, hiding things, even more hurtful. Helps to be able to forgive, walk away and trust.❤❤ Know where you are. Its okay to be fragile. Give things a chance. There are good people in this world.
@@chrisgould101 I am too. The amount of individuals saying "It gets better blah blah blah" don't realise some of us don't ever get over it. I have no idea how to deal with it.
Most painful thing I've ever experienced. When your wife and the mother of your children gives her body to another man it alters your perception of your marriage and your wife forever. I still suffer from occasional PTSD 20 years later.
@@Yogis406 Wife chose to shut the whole affair out. No disclosure/transparency or counseling. I raised my young daughters within a flawed marriage. My kids turned out great. My view of my wife and my marriage were forever altered. My wife even realized her approach to her infidelity and how to heal was wrong. PTSD lasts decades. Maybe shock is the wrong word to describe pain 20 years later. I still feel the pain of it all.
@@PJHEATERMAN I just found out my ex partner cheated on me in 2019 and that the kid I've been raising is not my son. It's been 1 month and I'm doing alot better. But I still have my days 😢
You don't always "choose" behavioral traits sometimes they choose you, lol. Seriously, as time passes your behavior is changed by new understanding and life events (divorce,death,etc. )
I was betrayed by my mother last year summer long story short our relationship hasn’t been the same since and I’m afraid it never will again I still love her but I will never view her in the same light again I trusted her more than anyone else in my life and now I don’t trust her it’s affecting me in ways I can’t even begin to articulate it’s a bewildering feeling when it’s towards someone you never thought could or would betray you…
Because we know it's the feeling forever, we have a wound which shall never (really) heals. Though, we are trying so hard thinking it shall never be as it use to be. It puts the relationship into the wrong place. No matter how hard we're trying to forget it, we know the whole of it it's only the question of our time...time of our brain, soul, heart...
This comes back to the Gospels with me. Both Judas and Peter betrayed Jesus as he said; Judas wanted the money, and Peter wanted to fight to defend his king. There was another passage where “you cannot serve both God and Mammon”, and it really highlights what it means to repent of your own foolish ambitions and seek the way, the truth, and the life.
My partner used to betray me throughout the entire duration of our relationship. He was caught in the act with the last one. After that I found out that there had been few other dudes. I felt so humiliated, rejected, denied. You know those feelings. Upset with myself I hadn’t suspected anything. O.K. as a M.D. I have night duties on call, conference etc. He had his, yet, still we had plenty We spent 20 years together. Not bad, huh? But then again it hurts even harder. We broke up. It was 10 years ago. Something changed in me bringing me chronic blues. I was very engaged in psychotherapy but I just can’t get over it. I mean; I don’t miss him, not anymore, don’t hate him, either. Every now and then he seems to attempt to have a friendly relationship…I remain distant and official. No drama, more like in a robot mode. I’ve been single for the last 10 years, no random dates, no random sex. Just an overwhelming loss of trust and loneliness. Oh, sorry, I adopted two strayed dogs. I cannot make it any other way.
After a marital betrayal I was so lost..I don’t know where I was, or where I was going or what I was doing. It led me to unspeakable decisions that I now must live with. The trauma is real! I decided to use writing to figure it out and it led me to healing. Now life as a know it has changed
My mother betrayed me in my late 30s that was 1 shock when you think you are best friends, then she throws you under the bus. She passed away September 2019. Still trying to get my head around it all. 💎
You know what you are doing is going to hurt someone, maybe destroy them and yet you find yourself seeking to do it anyway. Enjoying yourself along the way, pushing the inevitable fall off the cliff away from your mind. This is behavior I have witnessed and have lived through before and now again. They knew time was running out as their lives were more frantic and frequently upsetting their whole life. Still they pressed on. When the betrayal was finally exposed, they blame the one betrayed for being miserable or crazy. It's the same pattern every time. Like an unruly child looking for candy to sneak..the only way they seem to enjoy themselves, and it always about them till they're caught..then it's " you made me do this"
So true. A prime example is in the rape epidemic within the United States military, where one can become betrayed on so many levels should they fall victim.
Its the worst kind of betrayal- betrayal by the established system. The system that's supposed to be there to protect you and your rights. Thats how i feel with the judicial system. Its so mechanical, so dehumanising and ultimately the rich get the best results and for everyone else it becomes a long and arduous slog to get any result at all, and not necessarily a favourable one. And beyond that, obviously, is there are certain individuals within the system that are - for all intents and purposes- above the law. I never found that "fair", rather it undermines the entire establishment and makes me feel alienated from it altogether. If some people are allowed to get away with driving offences, petty theft or fraud, how come we need to spend so much money keeping the other ones that did it locked up for years? If only there was a way to quickly and accurately determine if you could trust someone... 🤔
@@SubhayyaAS hey:) yes I’m learning to heal. Some days are worse than others since I’m still dependent on my family to some degree so it’s a constant reminder. How are you doing?
Glad to know that you are trying your best. Its the same with me too, one day i am kind of okay and the next day.. Like a real rollercoaster ride. Its been 6months and trying hard to stay healthy..
@@SubhayyaAS i won’t say it gets easier bc the pain will always hurt but you’ll learn to live without it ruining most ur days. We’re all trying our best and know ur not alone:)
I cannot breathe through the grief. Today is day 54. 54 days without hearing from him. Nothing. Not a word. He betrayed and abandoned me and replaced me with another. Discarded me like last week's garbage. He was my "best friend". We spoke every day. My heart is in so much pain, it physically hurts. My soul is raped. I cannot breathe. I am drowning. Being buried alive. How could he do this to me? And why?
The only option you have s to force yourself to move on. If he comes back, it's just because he wants more of your time and energy. DO NOT let him back in. I am so sorry for what you are going through
@@RealTalk-mq2ug May I humbly suggest you stop keeping track of the days that you havent heard from him? Each new morning without a call or a text from him is going ro feel like a fresh stab wound to the heart. Numbering the days will contribute to rumination and intensify the pain. May I suggest instead you start a new count, but instead it is of the days you have decided to move on. Day 1 of chosing yourself over him is ground zero. This new count will be more hopeful because instead of looking back at it thinking " wow, I've been in excrutiating pain for 72 days" you can look back and realize how many days you chose to honor yourself instead of his busted stankin memory.
A stanford professor said that:The opposite of love is indifference; the opposite of hatred is also indifference. So why does so many people shift their love to hatreds so quickly? I suppose that is because none of the relationship comprises purely of love, it involves the desire of possessing, the desire of others' loyalty. When a relationship is mostly about desire rather than love, then it hurts and they are angry when their desires aren't satisfied.
Damage is one word, growth is another. It can be the same thing. I work in enterprise sales, and its feast or famine based on the relationships you build with customers. You're asked to forecast what deals are going to close every period (month/quarter/year). In early years I would take client promises at face value and forecast those deals. Undoubtedly some would not, and the clients would let me down and go back on their word. Strong sales now is being able to gauge probabilities and account for them with contingencies, as best as possible. Mentally this is the same as any other relationship. Once you've been burned enough times you become jaded and cynical, but also more accurate, and better prepared for an undesirable outcome. I think this is why youth, particularly teens and twenties, is difficult because it means reconciling our high expectations (delusions) and implied trust with the reality that people rarely are trustworthy. Trust arrives on foot, but leaves in a ferrari...
For myself the reason betrayal hurts me so badly is I give my all to honor others n will sacrifice my own well being in order to keep them from feeling the pain I feel from it . And when others don't value me and our relationship/bond or agreenent on same level as I do(which is the highest level ones word is all their worth) betrayal n lack of concern about my well being /feelings is agonizing and I'm unable to wrap my head around people lack of self worth that they would with no effort lose their ability to have another value their word bc then all other speech from them is hear say. And to not be able to look at yourself in mirror and know you did what right by another no matter the sacrifice bc you have your word /honor self worth and dignity and your integrity to protect and to take serious. Idk jst my thoughts I'm a weirdo I guess
You may have made the same mistakes I did. My husband hardly ever met me half way. If he wanted to do something he did it no matter if it meant he caused chaos by doing so. I wanted him to be happy and in the beginning sacrificed many things for about 10 years. Then when my daughter was a month old he wanted to get "clean" and confessed many of the affairs he had with women I knew. It was difficult but I got through it. But it became clear as time went on that we had different ideas on what was important in a marriage. I filed for divorce finally after 25 years. He moved out and rented a place with a close friend of mine who I thought lived in another state. She had gotten divorced 3 years previously and moved here and they had been seeing each other. I could not get over it. She made life miserable for myself and two kids. Now I am a grandmother and still have to be around them. I refuse to be around them and have told my daughter it is like being raped and everyone keeps pretending it didn't happen. She wants everything to be like a normal family. He owes me a lot of money and it has impacted my life greatly that he has not given it to me even though I know he has it. I am not expecting anyone to change. It helped me to realize that people have a certain set of filters that they see the world through. I should have never married my ex-husband. The clues were there from the beginning and I kept thinking it was alright ;he loved me...not the way I wanted to be loved. Our breakup was 20 years ago and it looks like I probably will not get remarried.
You're not a weirdo. You have standards /boundaries that you live up to, and live by... Nothing wrong in that however, it's your standards YOU live by and unfortunately we do expect others to have the same values/principles / morals etc BUT they don't... So we get very disappointed. I've also learnt the harsh lessons. If someone lies (even stupid white lies), thats the end of that connection with this person... I am making my life as simple as can be.... Life is so hard and complicated just by figuring out what is best for yourself that it's so insane to allow choas, drama in your life because of certain individuals. No thanks, I'm done because time and time again shows me it's NEVER worth it, ie "to ignore the first signs of betrayal". There's a verse in the Bible that says "... For give 70 x 70 times.." and only now after so many years of life do I understand what this means. Forgiveness isn't about telling that person who did you wrong that you're still "budy budy" with them after they have violated your trust, NO... that's not forgiveness (that's stupidity). Forgiveness is not taking revenge (opposite of forgiveness is getting even, retribution, revenge). So you do not take revenge, you give yourself that break (get out of that war very quickly), you "let it go". There are many methods to help you recover from betrayal the healthy victorious way. Forgiveness is about YOU... doing yourself that good that others did not. Then leave that idiot who betrayed you alone, cut ties with these haters and evil mongers for good - move on and simplify your life... Keep doing that 70 x 70 for yourself (4,900 times for yourself..You'll become a pro at it) Keep up the good work in keeping your boundaries, principles, values. Love how you are, what you are. There is really alot of love in this world without intentionally, deliberately forcing a bad situation/ bad people to "become" a good ones.
Ana Viana What are some healthy victorious ways to recover from betrayal that worked for you? I’ve always journaled and spoken to loved ones...prayed and exercised. It still hurts though even though it’s been 4 months.it feels like yesterday. How do we integrate the pain in a healthy way?
My worst betrayal was when I found out that my mother was insane. Mind you, a hell of a lot of stuff became explicable and I could clear out the garbage. Sadly, my mother went in the bin too, but what can you do with a manipulative abuser?
The saddest thing about betrayal is the realisation that the one you trusted was never your ally. You ask yourself: How could I not have seen the signs? You tell yourself: hindsight is 20:20. Never again.
I was heavily tested trial pharmaceuticals as a child, thrown into state care. The family who adopted me betrayed me. Family courts took my daughter. Iwas betrayed by my own country and already am dangerous. I didn't do this to myself. Who wouldn't be angry furious at living a lie.. I already walked my own hell in childhood. I've endured a lot , and yes the feeling of betrayal is absolutely the worst, it nearly destroyed me and I am a strong person. Horrible. I just want to trust again and love in full one day.
I was cheated on by my ex...3 years ago... She was the only person i would never ever believe she could do it... I won't trust myself to be loyal but i trusted her one million per cent.....guess what she is the one cheated and till now it hurt and i can't understand and I'm not able to trust anyone after her...i mean if the person that for me was the only one in the world that i can trust blindly end up cheating on me...who you want me to trust after her ?
Today the saddest thing happened to me all my family members spent alot of money on my aunt's wedding and after the wedding in night they flew away to Europe to stay there forever her and her husband didn't even tell us they were going and now I'm heart broken
I just know that at sometime in my life I will get to speak with you, I just have this very strong feeling and my intuition is rarely wrong. I have and am experiencing everything you are describing. If you would really like to know what it’s like to be betrayed and wake up to the reality of complete chaos I can help you with that. 🙏
I think the extreme feminist groups have exacerbated the rape problem in the military with the idea a whole hearted attempt to total equality as far as the sexes to the military and I don't understand their logic but mixing the sexes and remote hostile stressful areas where these women are the minority in a organization and a atmosphere that runs on testosterone to defend this country fabulous have Force the Pentagon to put these women in the crosshairs... I mean look at the women powws in the Iraq war that were raped and brutalized by insurgents I don't know why any woman would want to join the Frontline unit but I will agree anyone convicted of rape in the military should never get out of prison and I'll take a step morer they should meet a fire squad
@@PetekDemircioglu-ci1lh Clearly, you have never been a mother, Pete. My life would be a lot more peaceful if I could manage to not care, but I don’t have it in me to do that….
massive oversimplification but I notice these extremes are often mentioned in your lectures but what are you supposed to do when you live in those extremes, such as chaos, more often than not?
Why does it hurt so much ? Good question. Dr Abraham Low of Recovery International wrote: *Self appointed expectations lead to self induced frustrations.* Trusting others is self appointed. Even if we're seduced, enticed, or otherwise deceived into trusting (unconditionally or without verification) . . . the onus of the decision to trust is entirely our own. In other words the assumption our trust will be honored is a self appointed expectation. When things go wrong it hurts. Frustration happens because of disappointment. Frustration is a form of pain. Well heck . . . welcome to life, friends.
Yeah something along that vein of concept. The difficult part is making that a conscious awareness which obviously hurts just as much and I think it's because it takes a tremendous amount of responsibility.
@@j_stach yeah that's one way to put it. But those who want an actual reason *why* may not be satisfied with simply *It be like dat.* My answer is somewhat more terse than that of Prof. Peterson. But he's a psychologist. I'm not.
@@BrotherTree1 in my opinion it really isn't difficult to grasp the idea life has pain. It's simply a fact. But when we're experiencing pain the emo side of our consciousness will ask *WHY.* The antidote to ignorance is knowledge. The answer to the question *why* is a journey looking for rational answers. It's difficult because much of life seems irrational. And the temptation is to assume there is nothing rational worth looking for. If one decides not to take a journey . . . then it's obvious one will not arrive at the destination.
@@piehound I'm glad that you understand that for yourself and I understand what you're saying because I've understood this over time. It's a gradual process where people progress at various rates and we can see this through people's lives. If it weren't difficult, then everyone would be doing it no problems at all. Plus it's sometimes the added flavour of difficulty is what attracts constant curiosity for further exploration and consultation/self-consultation. However it's also possible that not all minds are capable depending on the deep seatedness of a given pathology (now we're not blaming the pathology, we're seeing the extent of damage and the amount of physical and metaphysical resources we have for such solutions to problems). In my case, there were many points where I don't think I could have "made it" so no... it can be difficult, and more so for some as everyone's life situation is different. We have to picture what it's like in other people's shoes, that's called compassion - now of course it doesn't mean give yourself away entirely... but it doesn't mean stay 100% on your street either. Its a blend of swimming in between the two borders, so to speak, when helping both yourself and aiding/guiding another to help themselves. Regardless of whether or not it's a fact, this doesn't necessarily yield a course of difficulty to a single direction... at least not straight away. But once you know it, regardless of long it took or how difficult it was, of course it's easier and not difficult when we arrive at the level of understanding and applying it successfully into our day to day lives. However, we cannot assume the same for those that "aren't at that place yet" and thus can't always assume that it's easy or not difficult for everyone. They're just in different metaphysical places. Of course, this too is my opinion.
We don't trust people because we want to. We trust people because that's a necessary evil of having human interactions and relationships. Or at the very least we indirectly want to trust.
This discussion of betrayal seems to come up often in Peterson's lectures - I think it deserves a qualifier. There are different kinds of betrayal. There is "we're all over" betrayal, and everything Dr. Peterson says is spot on about such situations. But there is also "Oh wow, I messed up" physical dalliances that don't necessary have to mean the end of the relationship AT ALL. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but my sense of the world is that when a woman betrays a man, it's most often the former kind of betrayal, whereas when a man betrays a woman it can very often be the latter kind. Because men are just stupid about sex. Of course, each betrayed person has to decide how to respond to that "dalliance" kind of betrayal, but I just don't believe that it's NECESSARILY the end unless that person decides for it to be. Another way of saying this is that men tend to cheat because they want MORE sex. Women tend to cheat because they want a BETTER COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP. In both cases, if you strip the civilized veneer off of it, the person is wanting a situation that improves the future distribution of their genes. So at the LOWEST level men and women have exactly the same drive. It just manifests differently in men and women primarily because of the biological specifics of the role each plays in the reproductive process. One man can keep a woman at full tilt on the reproductive front, so she wants the best one she can find. But a man can in theory father far more children than one woman can have, so his biological urge is toward multiple partners. None of this is the least bit surprising.
I'm just reading comments. Atm can't watch the video..., But all of this remind me something. I have listened a lot "tell me the truth"........ "Truth" is often, a chaotic or uncomfy thing. Requires time to be assertive, to deal with savageness of life but also the fascinating it is. I almost never asked much other opinions abt intimate things, I knew I could receive a thing I was not prepared for. Living knowing real boundaries/limits of other persons you appreciate needs courage, time to heal, calm and understanding, and not adding more self-guilty..., We do a lot already. Yes, can hurts, but pain, tears ir fears they exist for something and learn too. I think "be brave, kiddo! You' big boi now!" And I think to love is inherent for many of us, and no need to look for reciprocal in every tiny thing, other person is other person, not our mirror. If one needs something, and sometimes ur couple or friend can't give you those, you have to look other ways, not forcing your loved ones to cover all the needs. We need more compassion, as humanity I mean. I'm brave dealing with "truth" but can be exhaustive, it's oki for me...., It's just sometimes I feel like I don't know better assertiveness and I transmit a heavyness I don't want to (transmit) xd' I feel like needing union and soft love, soft acceptance and gentleness.
Today i think i got betrayed by the person that i thought could motivate me to play, the. He said to me, if their going to play, i should come with them. These past few days i thought he was just busy so that's why he cannot play, but today when i saw him with others going, i started to doubt on what he said the other day about being busy. He could just messege if they are going to play so that i could get ready, but no he didn't. I hope i'm wrong
i have a question? i betrayed my best friend ,did very bad thing to him , Now i regret it on daily basis , and i will say to everyone it isn’t worth to do this no matter what the reasons were at that time , maybe it was envy or resentments due to which i did that , My question is how can i makeup for that ? will he ever forgive me ?
Why do you want your friend's forgiveness... What's your motive, agenda behind this? Looking at things from the victims side, I believe the trap you set for others/your victims is inevitably thd trap you have also set for yourself / the betrayer. But here's the thing... People hurting others and themselves make for such a horrible world. Can all of us just stop all this pain and suffering we create because its made this world a worse place. It's just common sense.
Have a meeting face to face. Clearly say you are sorry and is there anything you can do to heal them. If they forgive... Congratulations. If not... Then don't repeat that mistake and help younger ones to not make that mistake by telling them your story.
Learn from your mistake and never do it again. I can tell you he will never want you back in his life but your not destined to lose every friend again if you learn.
Once betrayed, alway's betrayed. I love not having a girlfriend or wife. 100% of all my ex-girlfriend's cheated in me. And for some reason they alway's come back. How do girl's become so pathetic over night? I wish women could learn love outside their own families with mom and dad.
I’m not a cheater. But I have been betrayed many times. I’ve so far in my life never met a non cheater outside my own family-literally officially know 3 men I can think of who haven’t cheated~ one of them is Ben Shapiro.
I have however; been accused of cheating. Painfully so. Many times. When there is nothing I would like more than an honest man who won’t betray me. I haven’t met him yet-
@Alice Darque God you just described me..thank you for that, I needed to read something like this, I'm going through some tough times and I need to stop attacting problematic people to my life.
I’m so hurt ion care what anybody say about me ! I’m so hurt I can’t hear it or see it I’m so hurt that everything they say may be true and that’s the hurtful part maybe I’m not good enough maybe I’m not pretty bc I’m not light skin maybe I’m just here and that’s how I been treat my whole life
Had this one friend who had Epilepsy and his family refused to treat it. It got worse so I and my family did our best to make sure he gets checked by a doctor and he started getting better after weeks of treatment. And what do I get? He started going out with people who hate and bully me and he started calling me autistic after cutting all contacts. He even dared to come and ask me a medical question about his case (I have it too) and I was so shocked I told him to frick off and go see Pharmacist. This is why we are a third world country, because we are fricking degenerates.
I disagree. The more you do, the most the relatinship resents. Your only alterntive is to find another partner or behave as if nothing happens. At the least comment you about "you were flirting last night", you wiill participate on a major scandal and neagtion. Even if she is going to betray you this night.
Reading the comments on his videos, I always get the feeling that most people do not even listen to what he is saying. They just jump on one word used in the title and off they go, writing some tmi comment like they really need the attention.
He has his two or three theories, with which he explains everything. He does not ever take one step outside of his theories and looks at anything else. Betrayal does not hurt so much, because now there is chaos instead of order, because now someone else did not do what we want. It is about basic needs of humans, like being respected, being important, and also being loved. also the very basic need for safety, and betrayal makes you feel unsafe. It has nothing to do with chaos and order and we suddenly not knowing who we are. That by the way is supposedly a typical sign of borderline personality disorder, and even those people still know who they are when they got betrayed. If my child does not do what I want, my world also does not turn into chaos, I still know who I am and it does not change my view at the world. This man has an obsession with the idea that the moment something changes, people see the world differently like it is totally new. He explained autism like that, now betrayal. Really, I think he has no idea how normal people think and feel. I also have no idea how he is allowed to teach this, getting paid for his very confused rants, yet always saying the same things over and over. I honestly do not understand how people agree to everything he is saying or why they do not disagree. Where are the people who say they do not buy into his theories and see things very differently? Nobody is thinking for themselves, everyone wants to be filled up with the unchecked ideas of others? Why? Because they are paid for saying those things? Who cares? By that logic, we should clap for everything, a politician is saying and happily judge it as the truth, or what religious leaders are saying. But we dont. The moment someone is supposedly speaking science, people forget that those are just theories, nothing more than the ideas some people are having, not facts, yet those people present it as facts because they believe it to be true and always forget to state that it is at best a hypothesis.
Oh Jordan giving power to my son who refuses to pay rent because you empowered him to say he’s been deceived by his Mom? Who did everything to get him educated/ paid for his truck driving course which he never finished/ paid for his moves each time he fails out there in the world. He’s almost 50 does not want to pay his way leaves fans on with a window open just to drive the heat bill soaring. He thinks you’re great… maybe you can tell your followers to pay their own way, bills, he gets a stray cat fixed then tells me I owe $400. for the stray cat? Still dominating 1/2 the house he does not pay for…..
Ok.. so why does it hurt so much? The video doesn't really answer the question. Thumbs down for misleading label, even though his conceptualisation of theory is good.
The answer is In the video. Because your oversimplified preconceptions of the world is violated and you might need to change your viewpoint of where you are.
“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
That's odd. For me it would be the opposite.
I don't really believe anyone to be honest, what they say could be wrong or limited from their perspective and so it's inaccurate. I also don't believe in people because they have their own lives and their own priorities and I can't expect someone to be there when I need them. So I don't believe anyone or believe in anyone. But I don't like lies. For them to lie to me means that they're purposefully trying to deceive me. That's something that I find is almost heartbreaking.
Heartbreaking that they find me untrustworthy with the truth or heartbreaking that someone I trust is trying to pull one over me.
So for me that quote would be the opposite.
Forgiveness comes into play
@@bakersmileyface All you described, is what he said with extra steps
This is true. This happened to me. I was with a woman that I built up level trust over years. In the span of 6 months her demeanor changed and culminated in a type of betrayal.
It wasn't what she chose to do, but the way she chose to do it. Now I have an antitrust of her. I expect the worst of her now, even if she won't. Because now I know what she is callously capable of.
Even shev apologized, and I accepted it. Subcutaneously I can't truly trust her now.
@@Sasquatch-ff1pj Can't trust her? Send her to Gulag.
“the saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies” -unknown
But it actually does - prior to you understanding the betrayal, you didn't realize they were your enemy.
@@dwightmagnuson4298 to what extend does a person's action be considered as BETRAYAL, well, all things considered.
It hurts really bad, I feel like I have died twice in one life time.
Me: several deaths
It does, but pain is growth too. And life gets steadily easier as your wisdom increases and expectations become more accurate.
@@oliverhopkins8074 yeah problems seems easier as you know how life works.
You’re not alone
@@OnlyPositiveVibes96 I'm afraid when we learn to live we wont have time
No matter how hard you try to rationalize your feelings, nothing can save you from hurt... when it hurts... it hurts.
How long man. It's been 2 years and i still cry so much
I hate 🧬
Preach
@@CYPHER360_ You have to learn to let it go. Two years it too long. Who are you hurting for?
For only as long as you are willing to let it hurt you. Eventually you're only doing it to yourself.
How long until you put it down, let that weight go from your soul and move on? "BUT THEY HURT ME!!!!!!" They did, now YOU are hurting YOU. They don't care. They're off doing whatever, you're the only one continuing to hurt yourself over a betrayal. So take the betrayal, hurt, and then move on from it. Don't immerse yourself in the bitterness and the hurt.
Spot on. Before I was betrayed I always trusted my intuition. But after being blind sided by betrayal I don’t have the same trust in it, and it really hurts. I never saw it coming, my intuition was telling me to trust the person. I still struggle with trusting my intuition and instincts again a year later
I think the best policy in life is to balance awareness/intuition with logic/memory. You need to get out ahead of problems using not only what didn't work for you in the past but also what seems unlikely based on whatyou see in the world/others.
You gotta learn the skill of energetically predicting how youll react to people n things based on how you feel right now and also what is waiting tobe triggered in your SHADOW!
Don't punish yourself for someone else's bad behavior.
@@jeanlundi2141 l
It hurts to be manipulated, you question your intellect and judgment to unbelievable depths. I was betrayed, played like a fiddle, I’ve never felt so stupid and gullible in my life. I had to accept that I am naive, and easily manipulated, and knowing this I’ll know better in the future. I hope the woman who did this to me sees how doing what she did is wrong to do to men, and doesn’t hurt anyone else the way she hurt me, but that’s out of my control. I hope you’re doing well in life, god bless.
Agreed for me it's the opposite my intuition told me not to trust but my heart told me it's just in my head so I ended up trusting a horrific cheating narcissist spent the last year getting over it and mad at myself for not listening to my intuition the first time in the red flags I seen so I understand what you're saying
Betrayal invalidates the healthiest and most loving part of being wholesome and human. It has contempt for trust and ridicules courage.
It desecrates everything wholesome and honest that we are taught as children to believe in… including the intimate connection of faith in self and in humanity. Betrayers will always abuse their power, whilst hiding behind a wall of evil as cowards, living in fear of being exposed and blamed for their treachery.
He is absolutely right. The worst is that you not only lose the now and the tomorrow, you lose the yesterday aswell.
And the worst is you do not even know how far the false yesterday goes.
Since when was what you had with the other person not anymore what you thought it was? Since 6 months? a year? 3 years? 10?! Was it ever what you thought it was?!
There's so much shit on the net, but your comment there sir is so insightful. I'm definitely borrowing that. Sums up my first marriage totally. Thankyou for your words.
😓😓
Its hard but you gotta let go, if you keep thinking how far it went you will eventually drive yourself crazy.
ouch
And at the same time you should ask yourself, how often you lied to that person, how often you have been nice just to please them or not hurt them, how often you disliked something they disliked and did not tell them, how often you have been mad at them and tried not to show it, or bored, or annoyed. Then ask yourself if you are really the person who they thought all this time you were, and how much you betrayed them and they have no idea when you started the betrayal game. Probably the moment you met them, so they would find you more attractive than you really are.
I think betrayal corrupts the victim
@Z MO the betrayer shares his malevolence with the betrayed, like a virus. It's also a learning moment because there is always going to be sin (by ignorance, willful or not, or by deliberately evil acts) and the betrayed person is now fully awake to this fact, question is how do you deal with it.
I believe it also destroys the perpetrstor.
Llir kumi. Funny. It saved me from alimony.
@@phetmoz My god, that is so true..
Or does betrayal free the victim
from false perception and lying snakes
A type of awakening perhaps.
Narcissists.... in ANY relationships. Once you see them, once you see most of them, you are surprised how could we even survived till now.
Others betraying your trust by abandoning you for no reason at all hurts a lot. They didn't understand that all that was needed was to be listened to for one single day-- not forever.
Being your own best friend is the best thing ever. It doesn’t mean you will feel all the happiness in the world, but you will always be safe with the person who’s actions you can guide to never hurt you. You can always fall back into yourself and ultimately to God :)
Yeah I think this is really really important. Thanks.
Haha don't say that, I can hardly trust myself anymore.. jk :D
Betrayal hurts because you trusted too much and the worst thing you can do is get back with someone that hurt you, never get back with your ex, people come back because they miss you and not because they changed. You can never find happiness in the same place you lost it. When they no longer miss you, they will leave u again and that's betrayal for the second time. Betrayers don't really change be careful
Logical fallacy . Generalisation . Your generally right . But not always . So what you said is like most memes . Pointless - it cheapens and disrespects the complexity of what your talking about . You won’t find a perfect human anywhere I could type a lot more but that’s sufficient
It happened to me my wife committed adultery she came back 9 mos. Later we went to church together always.5 years she left me again
@lesdavis2318 yea id say the thought process of people like that will always betray again is usually correct. But there are alot of complex people in this world. And there some out there that are different im sure.
I dont think ive met any, im just sure there out there lol
betrayal hurts coz you knew you not obligated to trust anyone and you did it anyway coz they told you to trust them. basically you blaming yourself for making mistake trusting someone while you knew you were not obligated. thats why action counts not words. i agree its how you see the world and transfer present to future.
The aftermath of the betrayal is the most painful part.
It has damaged my brain indeed all the boatloads of betrayal I've endured
I dunno about damaged my brain, but I sure feel like an idiot.
He makes me ask the question, because I'm in the same boat as you, of what's wrong with me that this keeps happening to me?
Blessings. I’m recovering so much too fo so long and it’s a head riddle.
Same as that 😔
@@nataliabenoit4653 For you and the original comment person. I just got betrayed on 22nd May, I forgave the person, but they couldn’t forgive themselves or allowed me to come close to support.
I went into a severe depression attack combined with anxiety. My mind was hyperactive, I close my eyes I saw flash images and bullets of thoughts firing at a rate which was incomprehensible, so rapid. My friend studying psychology talked me out that night and saved me, else wouldn’t have been typing this.
I knew where the partner went wrong, but wanted to see where I went wrong. To my surprise, I ignored a lot of things. My partner was an orphan at 10, very rough childhood, so she was very insecure and possessive and always wanted more and more of my time, which I couldn’t give due to my business commitments, plus it was a long distance. She used to regularly fight, and I tried to confront also and sometimes suppressed it also to make peace.
I couldn’t understand that it was her Demand that I couldn’t have fulfilled anyway. Out of love I said I’ll change, but I couldn’t due to my busy lifestyle. Two months after I met her on her birthday, she slept with a co worker who was giving her attention and time. Numerous times I explained I’m doing work for OUR future, but she wanted instant gratification and wasn’t ready to sacrificed present for future. But that’s what work life is, sacrificing today for future, Dr. Peterson also said it in one of his videos.
So in totality, I couldn’t correlate her childhood traumas to her adulthood behaviour, didn’t pay attention to cues, whatever few of them there were, and she couldn’t keep her cool. She was a divorcee, who got cheated by her husband when I met her. I could’ve never imagined, and she couldn’t understand it herself, that how can a betrayed person become a betrayer to another person. But then, it happened right in front me.
Does it make me never trust women again? For the night I broke down, hell yes. But NO. It takes courage to forgive, even more courage to forgive the person, when they don’t know they’re forgiven, and even more courage to trust and love someone again.
The lesson was, DO NOT IGNORE THE MINUTE DETAILS AND DATA.
We get into a relation by knowing only 10% of the person, the good side, assuming it to be 100%. Everyone has MONSTERS. So do you and I. We need to know more about our partners, be more self aware about ourselves, know the demands of both the sides, and then make rules for a relationship where two people can coexist with love as binding force.
That’s what I’m gonna do. Plan and Improvise.
Betrayal hurts so much because of the humiliation and the shame.
I think a lot of people become masochists from early exposure of betrayal. It hardwires in their brain and they relive that humiliation and shame they felt from betrayal, say abuse, bullying, not fitting in, etc
Betrayal is brutal. Esp for those caught unaware, they get ambushed. The one who is supposed to have your back is the one who stuck a knife in it.
JP gets it and the description of what happens physically to the brain is very reasssuring; you're not weak for falling apart, your brain *is* scattered and it takes much time for the pieces to settle.
Well and carefully said
The thing with betrayal is that it destroys the past (the moments toghether were a lie) and the future (no certainty) and the present seems pointless because you can’t trust yourself (I chose you to be close to me)
“When your relationship goes seriously wrong, that’s when your confronted with all the things you don’t know”
After being betrayed and endured through a divorce this line speaks to me on a
very personal and relatable level. I couldn’t agree more.
betrayal in romantic relationships absolutely destroys me, like appocalypse, doom, psychotic depression, type hurt, im not sure what to do about it. But it seems to be borderline personality type thing. Makes me unwilling to even attach these days because of one too many betrayals when I really, really taught I knew someone :/
When I realized I had been betrayed I then split into two different people. I don’t really have words or know how to describe it.
@@Taran532 For me it has been a long time ago (20+ years) but I get what you mean. After I was betrayed I went nuts for a couple of years, couldn't believe anyone, became very cynical and more. I hurt some people as well (not physically but in some situations I was a total asshole). But after a couple of years I was okay again. Now usually people like me. So for anyone reading this; there is light on the end of the tunnel. Even if the tunnel is bend.
@@CheetahNL For me, it lasted 23 years before I was able to come to grips with all that occured.
I was never able to understand my reactions, feelings, and actions until I started listening to Dr. Peterson. He puts it so succinctly.
Oh my, a fellow Cluster B? I'm in the narcissism territory of things and I completely get the feeling of betrayal. It makes me feel like I've been shot and the life has been sucked out of me. Been ages and ages, and I don't remember the last of what I would call "betrayal", but there is zero trust for anyone, and especially those who know me best. Control of any situation is accordingly paramount. It's exhausting, and it started out as a means of survival, but it's snowballed in a complete PD.
So yeah, here's to avoidance. 🍻
I know exactly how that feels. A man tried to take advantage of me sexually when I opened up about my weaknesses….. serious advantage of me, the kind that makes you pull a gun on someone. I’ve been split in two, it’s always on the back of my mind. Got so bad I started having violent dreams and would wake up in fight or flight. I’m so sorry you guys know this pain! It’s unbearable
Subject of the tittle starts at 5:37
Thank u. I jumped ahead after one minute
The word I use to describe my life after betrayal is “scattered.”
@@melissabodily3675 Oh yes, yes that too. Absolutely!
You don't love someone, you love whom you perceive they are, you love what they offer, you love the person you can be with that person. You are not hurt by the betrayal, you are hurt by your interpretation of it, you are hurt because the image you loved is hurt. That image contained who you thought you had become with this person. But don't take it personal. They never knew you 100% either. They did it for themselves, they didn't think "oh it feels so good to hurt my partner." It has nothing to do with you. They just revealed a part of themselves you never knew, a part of themselves they probably didn't know either. They shattered the sense of who they thought they were (or wanted to be) as well.
My ex now thinks she is too flawed to sustain a long term relationship and become happy, she doesn't trust the level of love she is capable of feeling, she doesn't trust her impulses. I, on the other hand, am working to grow to be the best version of myself, I'm re-defining myself and the world around me. In a year, I'll be probably leagues ahead of her, I don't even define her in terms of a single mistake she made, after all the good things she did for 7 years. In fact, had she shown a spark of courage to face her own feelings, a tiny bit of willingless to control them and her actions as a strong and responsible individual, I would have considered us equals and forgiven her, but the last time we spoke her mind was too messy to make sense of it and grow positively out of that experience, so I assume she'll regress for a while. I'm not even bitter, I wish the best for her. The sooner a betrayal happens the better.
Onur Böle wow.... I also just exited a 7 year relationship with someone who cannot accept their own faults and self love.... I’m amazed at how in this one comment I feel like I can completely feel and connect with you and what you’re going through. Thank you.
maybe the other man was simply better in bed..? ;o)
M Cassis nice! Real productive.
@@randonolso i hope so. XD
@@mcassis650 You might be watching too much porn involving cheating stories, but a woman hardly ever cheats because this new man is better in bed. Men do it for a change and to still feel desired by other women, women usually do it when their emotional bond weakens. In my ex's case, this guy lived in another country. They talked online for 4 months and met once, there was no way she could know how good he was in bed. The reason she kept talking to him in the first place was that he lived so far away and she thought she'd never see him, that talking to him for a while would fill this emotional void which she thought was temporary. She felt powerful, because this guy was an asocial idiot who kind of saw her as his mentor. She was initially amused, she was curious how such a backward thinking, reckless primate could ever survive. Then she grew compassionate. We had no problem in bed, I would say it is one of the things in our relationship that I believe she'll probably never find a better replacement for.
I had AML and a donor bone marrow transplant a few years ago . It was a terrible time. But, I was fortunate to have a lot of support upon diagnosis. It was later that I started to experience one betrayal after another. As Jordan described - the orderly house. That’s where I am. Partly from pain and post treatment issues that keep me home needing that predictability. It was truly as he described. Some of the betrayals profoundly confused me as it was evident that our views of the relationship was not on the same level. These are 50 year friendships . So very naive I was. A good person. But naive. the emotional pain on an already fragile situation has made it that I basically haven’t gone anywhere except the grocery store since. Yes, I become bored and lonely. But, the betrayal from those who I trusted the most has been as life altering as my treatment from leukemia cancer.
Personal communication opens doors.
People are great at covering, hiding things, even more hurtful.
Helps to be able to forgive, walk away and trust.❤❤
Know where you are. Its okay to be fragile. Give things a chance.
There are good people in this world.
Thank you, I needed to hear that :)
Forgive, walk away and trust. Was you really betrayed? It sounds more like politically correct phrases to me tbh.
Betrayal can be traumatic.
Usually
Am still traumatised from it
@@chrisgould101 I am too.
The amount of individuals saying
"It gets better blah blah blah" don't realise some of us don't ever get over it.
I have no idea how to deal with it.
That is definitely true. My spirit is broken and won't ever be the same. Tomorrow I will close a chapter to what I thought would be my life's story.
@@michellembray Will pray a decade of the Holy Rosary for you. God bless.
Most painful thing I've ever experienced. When your wife and the mother of your children gives her body to another man it alters your perception of your marriage and your wife forever. I still suffer from occasional PTSD 20 years later.
The pain lives within somehow doesn’t it. I have experienced betrayal too.
@@Yogis406 It's a nightmare for a husband that has loved his wife. The mother of his children. I'm still in shock.
@@PJHEATERMAN shock does not last 20 years.
@@Yogis406 Wife chose to shut the whole affair out. No disclosure/transparency or counseling. I raised my young daughters within a flawed marriage. My kids turned out great. My view of my wife and my marriage were forever altered. My wife even realized her approach to her infidelity and how to heal was wrong. PTSD lasts decades. Maybe shock is the wrong word to describe pain 20 years later. I still feel the pain of it all.
@@PJHEATERMAN I just found out my ex partner cheated on me in 2019 and that the kid I've been raising is not my son. It's been 1 month and I'm doing alot better. But I still have my days 😢
This man is a great philosopher and public speaker. He blew our minds away with his connected , deep and clear ideas
You don't always "choose" behavioral traits sometimes they choose you, lol. Seriously, as time passes your behavior is changed by new understanding and life events (divorce,death,etc. )
I was betrayed by my mother last year summer long story short our relationship hasn’t been the same since and I’m afraid it never will again I still love her but I will never view her in the same light again I trusted her more than anyone else in my life and now I don’t trust her it’s affecting me in ways I can’t even begin to articulate it’s a bewildering feeling when it’s towards someone you never thought could or would betray you…
Same here, unfortunately no contact is best
Because we know it's the feeling forever, we have a wound which shall never (really) heals. Though, we are trying so hard thinking it shall never be as it use to be. It puts the relationship into the wrong place. No matter how hard we're trying to forget it, we know the whole of it it's only the question of our time...time of our brain, soul, heart...
This comes back to the Gospels with me. Both Judas and Peter betrayed Jesus as he said; Judas wanted the money, and Peter wanted to fight to defend his king. There was another passage where “you cannot serve both God and Mammon”, and it really highlights what it means to repent of your own foolish ambitions and seek the way, the truth, and the life.
This must be why programming and neatness and religiocity are satisfying.
Been betrayed many times by people who I thought were my friends sadly still hurts
My partner used to betray me throughout the entire duration of our relationship. He was caught in the act with the last one. After that I found out that there had been few other dudes. I felt so humiliated, rejected, denied. You know those feelings. Upset with myself I hadn’t suspected anything. O.K. as a M.D. I have night duties on call, conference etc. He had his, yet, still we had plenty We spent 20 years together. Not bad, huh? But then again it hurts even harder. We broke up. It was 10 years ago. Something changed in me bringing me chronic blues. I was very engaged in psychotherapy but I just can’t get over it. I mean; I don’t miss him, not anymore, don’t hate him, either. Every now and then he seems to attempt to have a friendly relationship…I remain distant and official. No drama, more like in a robot mode.
I’ve been single for the last 10 years, no random dates, no random sex. Just an overwhelming loss of trust and loneliness. Oh, sorry, I adopted two strayed dogs. I cannot make it any other way.
Dogs are the best therapy for those of us who are survivors of narcissistic abuse.
Cause it usually comes from a source close to you friends/family
Trying to get over a breakup. This hits home 😔
Hope you are ok. It gets better.
After a marital betrayal I was so lost..I don’t know where I was, or where I was going or what I was doing. It led me to unspeakable decisions that I now must live with. The trauma is real! I decided to use writing to figure it out and it led me to healing. Now life as a know it has changed
My mother betrayed me in my late 30s that was 1 shock when you think you are best friends, then she throws you under the bus. She passed away September 2019. Still trying to get my head around it all. 💎
An ageing mother has women in her sights, I know very well
Did she try to make amends? Take your power back, give yourself the love and respect you expected from her. Try to forgive x
Private no she didn’t she protected the abuser out of fear. I know she knew the truth though she admitted it to me.
I am so sorry
My sister did the same thing to me and I am devastated
You know what you are doing is going to hurt someone, maybe destroy them and yet you find yourself seeking to do it anyway. Enjoying yourself along the way, pushing the inevitable fall off the cliff away from your mind. This is behavior I have witnessed and have lived through before and now again. They knew time was running out as their lives were more frantic and frequently upsetting their whole life. Still they pressed on. When the betrayal was finally exposed, they blame the one betrayed for being miserable or crazy. It's the same pattern every time. Like an unruly child looking for candy to sneak..the only way they seem to enjoy themselves, and it always about them till they're caught..then it's " you made me do this"
But did you push him into doing it?
So true. A prime example is in the rape epidemic within the United States military, where one can become betrayed on so many levels should they fall victim.
Its the worst kind of betrayal- betrayal by the established system. The system that's supposed to be there to protect you and your rights.
Thats how i feel with the judicial system. Its so mechanical, so dehumanising and ultimately the rich get the best results and for everyone else it becomes a long and arduous slog to get any result at all, and not necessarily a favourable one.
And beyond that, obviously, is there are certain individuals within the system that are - for all intents and purposes- above the law. I never found that "fair", rather it undermines the entire establishment and makes me feel alienated from it altogether. If some people are allowed to get away with driving offences, petty theft or fraud, how come we need to spend so much money keeping the other ones that did it locked up for years?
If only there was a way to quickly and accurately determine if you could trust someone... 🤔
That’s where I am right now recently betrayed by 2 people I trusted
The kind of betrayal that hurts is the sort that you never saw coming after years and years of investment in giving a shit about them.
How about being betrayed by the person you love most? Your family? It’s truly ruined my nights for the last 6 years.
Are you okay now?
@@SubhayyaAS hey:) yes I’m learning to heal. Some days are worse than others since I’m still dependent on my family to some degree so it’s a constant reminder. How are you doing?
Glad to know that you are trying your best. Its the same with me too, one day i am kind of okay and the next day.. Like a real rollercoaster ride. Its been 6months and trying hard to stay healthy..
@@SubhayyaAS i won’t say it gets easier bc the pain will always hurt but you’ll learn to live without it ruining most ur days. We’re all trying our best and know ur not alone:)
I cannot breathe through the grief.
Today is day 54.
54 days without hearing from him.
Nothing. Not a word.
He betrayed and abandoned me
and replaced me with another.
Discarded me like last week's garbage.
He was my "best friend". We spoke every day.
My heart is in so much pain, it physically hurts.
My soul is raped. I cannot breathe. I am drowning.
Being buried alive.
How could he do this to me? And why?
The only option you have s to force yourself to move on. If he comes back, it's just because he wants more of your time and energy. DO NOT let him back in. I am so sorry for what you are going through
@@xw7239 thank you. I am trying to breathe. today is day 72.
@@RealTalk-mq2ug May I humbly suggest you stop keeping track of the days that you havent heard from him? Each new morning without a call or a text from him is going ro feel like a fresh stab wound to the heart. Numbering the days will contribute to rumination and intensify the pain. May I suggest instead you start a new count, but instead it is of the days you have decided to move on. Day 1 of chosing yourself over him is ground zero. This new count will be more hopeful because instead of looking back at it thinking " wow, I've been in excrutiating pain for 72 days" you can look back and realize how many days you chose to honor yourself instead of his busted stankin memory.
@@RealTalk-mq2ug praying your pain softens and his memory becomes blurred 🙏🏻 may you find yourself again. Blessings to you
@@dontplaywithgod2064 this is so helpful! AND IT MADE ME LAUGH SO DAMN HARD!! HUUUGE smile on my face! thank you. made my night!
What an amazing lecture.
A stanford professor said that:The opposite of love is indifference; the opposite of hatred is also indifference. So why does so many people shift their love to hatreds so quickly?
I suppose that is because none of the relationship comprises purely of love, it involves the desire of possessing, the desire of others' loyalty.
When a relationship is mostly about desire rather than love, then it hurts and they are angry when their desires aren't satisfied.
Damage is one word, growth is another. It can be the same thing.
I work in enterprise sales, and its feast or famine based on the relationships you build with customers.
You're asked to forecast what deals are going to close every period (month/quarter/year).
In early years I would take client promises at face value and forecast those deals. Undoubtedly some would not, and the clients would let me down and go back on their word.
Strong sales now is being able to gauge probabilities and account for them with contingencies, as best as possible.
Mentally this is the same as any other relationship. Once you've been burned enough times you become jaded and cynical, but also more accurate, and better prepared for an undesirable outcome.
I think this is why youth, particularly teens and twenties, is difficult because it means reconciling our high expectations (delusions) and implied trust with the reality that people rarely are trustworthy.
Trust arrives on foot, but leaves in a ferrari...
You get over it . I'm over it .
Betrayal is worse than loosing a partner to her death. Death was not a choice; betrayal was a conscious act of choice.
For myself the reason betrayal hurts me so badly is I give my all to honor others n will sacrifice my own well being in order to keep them from feeling the pain I feel from it . And when others don't value me and our relationship/bond or agreenent on same level as I do(which is the highest level ones word is all their worth) betrayal n lack of concern about my well being /feelings is agonizing and I'm unable to wrap my head around people lack of self worth that they would with no effort lose their ability to have another value their word bc then all other speech from them is hear say. And to not be able to look at yourself in mirror and know you did what right by another no matter the sacrifice bc you have your word /honor self worth and dignity and your integrity to protect and to take serious. Idk jst my thoughts I'm a weirdo I guess
You may have made the same mistakes I did. My husband hardly ever met me half way. If he wanted to do something he did it no matter if it meant he caused chaos by doing so. I wanted him to be happy and in the beginning sacrificed many things for about 10 years. Then when my daughter was a month old he wanted to get "clean" and confessed many of the affairs he had with women I knew. It was difficult but I got through it. But it became clear as time went on that we had different ideas on what was important in a marriage. I filed for divorce finally after 25 years. He moved out and rented a place with a close friend of mine who I thought lived in another state. She had gotten divorced 3 years previously and moved here and they had been seeing each other. I could not get over it. She made life miserable for myself and two kids. Now I am a grandmother and still have to be around them. I refuse to be around them and have told my daughter it is like being raped and everyone keeps pretending it didn't happen. She wants everything to be like a normal family. He owes me a lot of money and it has impacted my life greatly that he has not given it to me even though I know he has it. I am not expecting anyone to change. It helped me to realize that people have a certain set of filters that they see the world through. I should have never married my ex-husband. The clues were there from the beginning and I kept thinking it was alright ;he loved me...not the way I wanted to be loved. Our breakup was 20 years ago and it looks like I probably will not get remarried.
You're not a weirdo. You have standards /boundaries that you live up to, and live by... Nothing wrong in that however, it's your standards YOU live by and unfortunately we do expect others to have the same values/principles / morals etc BUT they don't... So we get very disappointed.
I've also learnt the harsh lessons. If someone lies (even stupid white lies), thats the end of that connection with this person... I am making my life as simple as can be.... Life is so hard and complicated just by figuring out what is best for yourself that it's so insane to allow choas, drama in your life because of certain individuals. No thanks, I'm done because time and time again shows me it's NEVER worth it, ie "to ignore the first signs of betrayal".
There's a verse in the Bible that says "... For give 70 x 70 times.." and only now after so many years of life do I understand what this means. Forgiveness isn't about telling that person who did you wrong that you're still "budy budy" with them after they have violated your trust, NO... that's not forgiveness (that's stupidity). Forgiveness is not taking revenge (opposite of forgiveness is getting even, retribution, revenge). So you do not take revenge, you give yourself that break (get out of that war very quickly), you "let it go". There are many methods to help you recover from betrayal the healthy victorious way. Forgiveness is about YOU... doing yourself that good that others did not. Then leave that idiot who betrayed you alone, cut ties with these haters and evil mongers for good - move on and simplify your life... Keep doing that 70 x 70 for yourself (4,900 times for yourself..You'll become a pro at it)
Keep up the good work in keeping your boundaries, principles, values. Love how you are, what you are. There is really alot of love in this world without intentionally, deliberately forcing a bad situation/ bad people to "become" a good ones.
Ana Viana
What are some healthy victorious ways to recover from betrayal that worked for you? I’ve always journaled and spoken to loved ones...prayed and exercised. It still hurts though even though it’s been 4 months.it feels like yesterday. How do we integrate the pain in a healthy way?
My worst betrayal was when I found out that my mother was insane. Mind you, a hell of a lot of stuff became explicable and I could clear out the garbage. Sadly, my mother went in the bin too, but what can you do with a manipulative abuser?
Same story here, hard to get over it. Best of luck👍
Stay away from people then you don’t have to be betrayed.
What I’m doing and I don’t think I’m missing out on too much 🥳 haha 🥰
The saddest thing about betrayal is the realisation that the one you trusted was never your ally. You ask yourself: How could I not have seen the signs? You tell yourself: hindsight is 20:20. Never again.
I was heavily tested trial pharmaceuticals as a child, thrown into state care. The family who adopted me betrayed me. Family courts took my daughter. Iwas betrayed by my own country and already am dangerous. I didn't do this to myself. Who wouldn't be angry furious at living a lie.. I already walked my own hell in childhood. I've endured a lot , and yes the feeling of betrayal is absolutely the worst, it nearly destroyed me and I am a strong person. Horrible. I just want to trust again and love in full one day.
Yes. This life is cruel. I hope to love again too.
Dig deep find what makes you love you first step.. smile make people smile with your love for life x
I was cheated on by my ex...3 years ago...
She was the only person i would never ever believe she could do it...
I won't trust myself to be loyal but i trusted her one million per cent.....guess what she is the one cheated and till now it hurt and i can't understand and I'm not able to trust anyone after her...i mean if the person that for me was the only one in the world that i can trust blindly end up cheating on me...who you want me to trust after her ?
Same bro
Same, I'm hurting so much right now
Today the saddest thing happened to me all my family members spent alot of money on my aunt's wedding and after the wedding in night they flew away to Europe to stay there forever her and her husband didn't even tell us they were going and now I'm heart broken
Every person in my life has betrayed me. Not surprising tbh. Humans arent perfect... It takes me years to trust someone. Even so im very dubious
This is so good!
I just know that at sometime in my life I will get to speak with you, I just have this very strong feeling and my intuition is rarely wrong. I have and am experiencing everything you are describing. If you would really like to know what it’s like to be betrayed and wake up to the reality of complete chaos I can help you with that. 🙏
I think the extreme feminist groups have exacerbated the rape problem in the military with the idea a whole hearted attempt to total equality as far as the sexes to the military and I don't understand their logic but mixing the sexes and remote hostile stressful areas where these women are the minority in a organization and a atmosphere that runs on testosterone to defend this country fabulous have Force the Pentagon to put these women in the crosshairs... I mean look at the women powws in the Iraq war that were raped and brutalized by insurgents I don't know why any woman would want to join the Frontline unit but I will agree anyone convicted of rape in the military should never get out of prison and I'll take a step morer they should meet a fire squad
Through which means can I connect to u
But apparently
Your perception
And intuition
Are only your model of the world
Not reality
The only possible positive outcome of betrayal is forgiveness… but the heart stays broken just the same.💔
Love and All Good Things,
Jesse.🌹
@@PetekDemircioglu-ci1lh
Clearly, you have never been a mother, Pete.
My life would be a lot more peaceful if I could manage to not care, but I don’t have it in me to do that….
massive oversimplification but I notice these extremes are often mentioned in your lectures but what are you supposed to do when you live in those extremes, such as chaos, more often than not?
Why does it hurt so much ? Good question. Dr Abraham Low of Recovery International wrote: *Self appointed expectations lead to self induced frustrations.* Trusting others is self appointed. Even if we're seduced, enticed, or otherwise deceived into trusting (unconditionally or without verification) . . . the onus of the decision to trust is entirely our own. In other words the assumption our trust will be honored is a self appointed expectation. When things go wrong it hurts. Frustration happens because of disappointment. Frustration is a form of pain. Well heck . . . welcome to life, friends.
Yeah something along that vein of concept. The difficult part is making that a conscious awareness which obviously hurts just as much and I think it's because it takes a tremendous amount of responsibility.
@@j_stach yeah that's one way to put it. But those who want an actual reason *why* may not be satisfied with simply *It be like dat.* My answer is somewhat more terse than that of Prof. Peterson. But he's a psychologist. I'm not.
@@BrotherTree1 in my opinion it really isn't difficult to grasp the idea life has pain. It's simply a fact. But when we're experiencing pain the emo side of our consciousness will ask *WHY.* The antidote to ignorance is knowledge. The answer to the question *why* is a journey looking for rational answers. It's difficult because much of life seems irrational. And the temptation is to assume there is nothing rational worth looking for. If one decides not to take a journey . . . then it's obvious one will not arrive at the destination.
@@piehound I'm glad that you understand that for yourself and I understand what you're saying because I've understood this over time. It's a gradual process where people progress at various rates and we can see this through people's lives. If it weren't difficult, then everyone would be doing it no problems at all. Plus it's sometimes the added flavour of difficulty is what attracts constant curiosity for further exploration and consultation/self-consultation. However it's also possible that not all minds are capable depending on the deep seatedness of a given pathology (now we're not blaming the pathology, we're seeing the extent of damage and the amount of physical and metaphysical resources we have for such solutions to problems). In my case, there were many points where I don't think I could have "made it" so no... it can be difficult, and more so for some as everyone's life situation is different. We have to picture what it's like in other people's shoes, that's called compassion - now of course it doesn't mean give yourself away entirely... but it doesn't mean stay 100% on your street either. Its a blend of swimming in between the two borders, so to speak, when helping both yourself and aiding/guiding another to help themselves. Regardless of whether or not it's a fact, this doesn't necessarily yield a course of difficulty to a single direction... at least not straight away. But once you know it, regardless of long it took or how difficult it was, of course it's easier and not difficult when we arrive at the level of understanding and applying it successfully into our day to day lives. However, we cannot assume the same for those that "aren't at that place yet" and thus can't always assume that it's easy or not difficult for everyone. They're just in different metaphysical places. Of course, this too is my opinion.
We don't trust people because we want to. We trust people because that's a necessary evil of having human interactions and relationships. Or at the very least we indirectly want to trust.
this is so intresting. I never thoght of betrayal in that way. it only hurts so much because you never saw it coming.
what do you do when the person you trust most in this world betrays you and you only found out about it by accident
This discussion of betrayal seems to come up often in Peterson's lectures - I think it deserves a qualifier. There are different kinds of betrayal. There is "we're all over" betrayal, and everything Dr. Peterson says is spot on about such situations. But there is also "Oh wow, I messed up" physical dalliances that don't necessary have to mean the end of the relationship AT ALL. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but my sense of the world is that when a woman betrays a man, it's most often the former kind of betrayal, whereas when a man betrays a woman it can very often be the latter kind. Because men are just stupid about sex. Of course, each betrayed person has to decide how to respond to that "dalliance" kind of betrayal, but I just don't believe that it's NECESSARILY the end unless that person decides for it to be.
Another way of saying this is that men tend to cheat because they want MORE sex. Women tend to cheat because they want a BETTER COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP. In both cases, if you strip the civilized veneer off of it, the person is wanting a situation that improves the future distribution of their genes. So at the LOWEST level men and women have exactly the same drive. It just manifests differently in men and women primarily because of the biological specifics of the role each plays in the reproductive process. One man can keep a woman at full tilt on the reproductive front, so she wants the best one she can find. But a man can in theory father far more children than one woman can have, so his biological urge is toward multiple partners. None of this is the least bit surprising.
I'm just reading comments. Atm can't watch the video..., But all of this remind me something. I have listened a lot "tell me the truth"........ "Truth" is often, a chaotic or uncomfy thing. Requires time to be assertive, to deal with savageness of life but also the fascinating it is. I almost never asked much other opinions abt intimate things, I knew I could receive a thing I was not prepared for. Living knowing real boundaries/limits of other persons you appreciate needs courage, time to heal, calm and understanding, and not adding more self-guilty..., We do a lot already. Yes, can hurts, but pain, tears ir fears they exist for something and learn too. I think "be brave, kiddo! You' big boi now!" And I think to love is inherent for many of us, and no need to look for reciprocal in every tiny thing, other person is other person, not our mirror. If one needs something, and sometimes ur couple or friend can't give you those, you have to look other ways, not forcing your loved ones to cover all the needs. We need more compassion, as humanity I mean. I'm brave dealing with "truth" but can be exhaustive, it's oki for me...., It's just sometimes I feel like I don't know better assertiveness and I transmit a heavyness I don't want to (transmit) xd'
I feel like needing union and soft love, soft acceptance and gentleness.
Today i think i got betrayed by the person that i thought could motivate me to play, the. He said to me, if their going to play, i should come with them. These past few days i thought he was just busy so that's why he cannot play, but today when i saw him with others going, i started to doubt on what he said the other day about being busy. He could just messege if they are going to play so that i could get ready, but no he didn't. I hope i'm wrong
i have a question? i betrayed my best friend ,did very bad thing to him , Now i regret it on daily basis , and i will say to everyone it isn’t worth to do this no matter what the reasons were at that time , maybe it was envy or resentments due to which i did that , My question is how can i makeup for that ? will he ever forgive me ?
Learn from your mistakes. No one is perfect. Forgive yourself but strive to make yourself s better person
Why do you want your friend's forgiveness... What's your motive, agenda behind this?
Looking at things from the victims side, I believe the trap you set for others/your victims is inevitably thd trap you have also set for yourself / the betrayer.
But here's the thing... People hurting others and themselves make for such a horrible world. Can all of us just stop all this pain and suffering we create because its made this world a worse place. It's just common sense.
Have a meeting face to face. Clearly say you are sorry and is there anything you can do to heal them. If they forgive... Congratulations. If not... Then don't repeat that mistake and help younger ones to not make that mistake by telling them your story.
If they don't even want to see you then contact them through voice message.
If you are blocked, then tell someone trustworthy to send your sorry.
Learn from your mistake and never do it again. I can tell you he will never want you back in his life but your not destined to lose every friend again if you learn.
perfect description of a Kalman filter if you just ignore that the whole topic is under the psychology umbrella :D
How to recover from betrayal?
Brando Miranda You don’t.
Love yourself.... Give yourself what they didn't / couldn't
@Natural Man for sure✊🏾
kill freaking traitor
move on
Betrayal is like a rape of the soul...
Why? Why?? Why???!!! 😢
it hurt because you were naive you didn't know where you are, and now you don't know where you are , and where you will be in future
There is a reason why Dante defined betrayal as the ultimate sin
Does anyone know what girls are always after even already been in a relationship 😌 what they want
Once betrayed, alway's betrayed. I love not having a girlfriend or wife. 100% of all my ex-girlfriend's cheated in me. And for some reason they alway's come back. How do girl's become so pathetic over night? I wish women could learn love outside their own families with mom and dad.
Probably because they had dysfunctional families or came from broken homes?
I’m not a cheater. But I have been betrayed many times. I’ve so far in my life never met a non cheater outside my own family-literally officially know 3 men I can think of who haven’t cheated~ one of them is Ben Shapiro.
I have however; been accused of cheating. Painfully so. Many times. When there is nothing I would like more than an honest man who won’t betray me. I haven’t met him yet-
@Alice Darque God you just described me..thank you for that, I needed to read something like this, I'm going through some tough times and I need to stop attacting problematic people to my life.
@@wesleybforti Same here
Less than 1 in 1000 people dislike him
@Psychonautand you're a worm who lurks in Jordan Peterson videos to say negative things about him
@Psychonaut and you're the CEO of Amazon? Grow up
@Psychonaut congratulations! I'm a neurosurgeon but it's nice to see that we're both not above being immature
my friend pranay betrayed me in ludo. he blames it on peer pressure but if it was me i would never do that. october 27 i will never forget this date.
thats one sad story i hope u recovery buddy
@UCEWlVwpgi36a6swQMU_MHLg weirdo
self-consciousness
I dont want to mix up the feeling of being betrayal and my own stupidity.~ Khaviana Michael
I’m so hurt ion care what anybody say about me ! I’m so hurt I can’t hear it or see it I’m so hurt that everything they say may be true and that’s the hurtful part maybe I’m not good enough maybe I’m not pretty bc I’m not light skin maybe I’m just here and that’s how I been treat my whole life
Had this one friend who had Epilepsy and his family refused to treat it.
It got worse so I and my family did our best to make sure he gets checked by a doctor and he started getting better after weeks of treatment.
And what do I get? He started going out with people who hate and bully me and he started calling me autistic after cutting all contacts. He even dared to come and ask me a medical question about his case (I have it too) and I was so shocked I told him to frick off and go see Pharmacist. This is why we are a third world country, because we are fricking degenerates.
I was looking for the tricky of temporary feelings of a patterned brain, but TH-cam throw me this video xd
Revenge is the timeless battle field~khaviana Michael
betrayal
I am upset you cheated on me with my best friend and betrayed me again is Rachella
This is where I swim.
Im sorry Tommy, this is Vice City, This is business.
I disagree. The more you do, the most the relatinship resents.
Your only alterntive is to find another partner or behave as if nothing happens.
At the least comment you about "you were flirting last night", you wiill participate on a major scandal and neagtion. Even if she is going to betray you this night.
Reading the comments on his videos, I always get the feeling that most people do not even listen to what he is saying. They just jump on one word used in the title and off they go, writing some tmi comment like they really need the attention.
I am surrounded by demons
Because you didn't deserve it.
He has his two or three theories, with which he explains everything. He does not ever take one step outside of his theories and looks at anything else. Betrayal does not hurt so much, because now there is chaos instead of order, because now someone else did not do what we want. It is about basic needs of humans, like being respected, being important, and also being loved. also the very basic need for safety, and betrayal makes you feel unsafe. It has nothing to do with chaos and order and we suddenly not knowing who we are. That by the way is supposedly a typical sign of borderline personality disorder, and even those people still know who they are when they got betrayed. If my child does not do what I want, my world also does not turn into chaos, I still know who I am and it does not change my view at the world. This man has an obsession with the idea that the moment something changes, people see the world differently like it is totally new. He explained autism like that, now betrayal. Really, I think he has no idea how normal people think and feel. I also have no idea how he is allowed to teach this, getting paid for his very confused rants, yet always saying the same things over and over. I honestly do not understand how people agree to everything he is saying or why they do not disagree. Where are the people who say they do not buy into his theories and see things very differently? Nobody is thinking for themselves, everyone wants to be filled up with the unchecked ideas of others? Why? Because they are paid for saying those things? Who cares? By that logic, we should clap for everything, a politician is saying and happily judge it as the truth, or what religious leaders are saying. But we dont. The moment someone is supposedly speaking science, people forget that those are just theories, nothing more than the ideas some people are having, not facts, yet those people present it as facts because they believe it to be true and always forget to state that it is at best a hypothesis.
I don’t understand his word. Word just word.
Oh Jordan giving power to my son who refuses to pay rent because you empowered him to say he’s been deceived by his Mom? Who did everything to get him educated/ paid for his truck driving course which he never finished/ paid for his moves each time he fails out there in the world. He’s almost 50 does not want to pay his way leaves fans on with a window open just to drive the heat bill soaring. He thinks you’re great… maybe you can tell your followers to pay their own way, bills, he gets a stray cat fixed then tells me I owe $400. for the stray cat? Still dominating 1/2 the house he does not pay for…..
I have Bigger I phone 11 apple Purple 🙂 i want my mom friend to give back to me This is Rachella
as usual, I get nothing from J.P. while getting more understanding in the comments
Ok.. so why does it hurt so much?
The video doesn't really answer the question.
Thumbs down for misleading label, even though his conceptualisation of theory is good.
The answer is In the video. Because your oversimplified preconceptions of the world is violated and you might need to change your viewpoint of where you are.
This is s typical of university academia, aa lot of words, saying to little.
Yeah. Nah
@@jasonwilson2927 lmao take a look at how you write
Wasted time and effort....