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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ค. 2020
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This makes me not even want to be married.
that happens to girls too, you know? It could even happen to you eventually...
Liking someone =/= wanting to be w/ them in any kind of way
Agree. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, we really can’t control who we are going to be attracted to or even “fall in love with”, but what we can control is if wether we will act on it or not.
If you fall in love with someone else while in a relationship you already acted on it.
@@Jennijennijenni yep my fucking ex did that. Left me for an guy she was seeing before she met me. Despite two weeks ago flying across the country to see her.
@@WolfvineGamingdamn bro ..update on your love life?? i’m genuinely curious, hope everything turned around for you.
@@tyreksurrell hey there, welll I'm basically over her. I realized that her emotional and mental capacity is clearly fucked and I should've seen the signs way earlier on.
I've rewritten this a lot now so here's the cleaner draft lol. I still feel hurt at times since I lost a bit financially from the trip visiting her, and I had bought flights for her to come back home during Halloween time and Thanksgiving which she didn't end up using at all after the breakup so even more waste of plane tickets. And then its just bewildering when thinking back at how much time we spoke together, hung with each other, bonded, all that stuff and then it just gets tossed out the window when a guy she thought she lost feelings for suddenly reemerges. It just really messes you up and makes you wonder what went wrong and how you didn't take those red flags into account. She thought she lost these feelings for a guy a month after coming home and then met me. I should've seen that as she was surely emotionally unstable. The substance abusing (weed and alc) and her scary high body count from her past, something I also should've realized in the beginning.
Weirdly enough, my girlfriend now I had met like a week-ish before my ex broke up with me and then soon after, this girl asked me out (sorta). And we officially been bf/gf for a few months now. I feel this is the healthiest girl I've ever dated (although we always think that when looking back don't we lol). Her personality is crystal clean compared to the last one, but it also worries me that I may fuck it up because of all the things I went through. I feel everso hopeful for the future now though with her :)
@@WolfvineGaming wow …thank you for the update man that’s some crazy stuff but i’m happy for you, I’m glad you were able to move on & found someone who appreciates your love . Your past is NOT your fault. You DIDN’T do anything wrong. Your ex was immature & no one immature knows what actual love is not how to cherish it. I wish you well, man congratulations
I am a woman , and honestly this men perspective helped me a lot to understanding myself. At the end of the day we are all seeking validation and we misunderstand seeking unhealthy validation and accepting the energy of someone else. it’s not the same thing. Embracing and accepting energy will make you feel more as a human. And seeking validation is always toxic at some point.
Well said
Cool. I hope the guy understand when the tables are turned. Where intention goes energy flows. Be wise where you put your energy.
hey! I never had a chance to speak about this with my father, thank you for being so positive, honest and straightforward. Blessings!
This guy talked alot of talk about NOTHING. He says to just accept and "enjoy this energy"...basking in sexual attraction towards someone will either lead to sexual frustration or you eventually acting up on that. So I don't see how his advice is meant to help anyone AT ALL.
Honestly what he is saying is not healthy for people in longterm relationship.
Yes as a man you will always notice other women, but its a conscious decision to be committed to your partner and not feeding the thoughts/fantasising about other women in your head.
@@siamanspaps It's natural to fantasize, there's absolutely nothing wrong with fantasies per se BUT if the person is not actually attracted to their partner these fantasies will make them even more unsatisfied.
No, he’s just saying not to judge, suppress, or catastrophize the feelings. It’s a basic therapy technique: acknowledge what you’re feeling, then move on. Don’t let the feeling control you or make you act in ways you’ll regret.
Read the book homeboy
I would love to share my women perspective :) My (male) partner and I are in a committed, monogamous, healthy and wonderful relationship. We love to talk about every part of our human experience, including attraction to other people once in a while. Everyone you encounter, you exchange energy with. You either feel attracted or not. It does not mean you want to pursue anything with them. Its just the nature of human being (female too, feel attraction to other man even when madly in love). What is important is what you do with it. Accept its there, without indulging in it. Being conscious and open about it is a mature way of dealing with it. Once in a while, my partner and I will have a open talk about attraction: tell me who you feel attracted to in our circles/work/community and why? for exemple: I am attracted to Jolene, because she is a very sensual and funny, and, I feel attracted to john because he is charming and feels solid. We do it both. It normalize it when you realize that those qualities your partner are attracted to in other person, is not taking anything away from you.
should I worry if my girlfriend doesn't admit she finds other men attractive?
You dont have to. Every relationship is unique
This helps me a lot! Thank you for sharing.
@@Bakugo24 maybe she doesn't feel safe admitting her attraction? We are condition to repress in our society. I would try to have an open conversation with her. Some people just prefer never talking about this wit their partner, and that is also ok.
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Oh Lot of talk. I think controlling our mind , our emotions is important especially in such subjects because ultimately it defines our character.
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This has been the most supportive video for me as I’ve always known I’d be ambitious as a young man and I value loyalty which would be my biggest challenge
Love this! The 'Disney' perspective may work for some but it's important that it's not the the only option so people don't feel ashamed if they want something different. Repression and disowning the self rarely leads to healthiness in the long-run and usually makes the thing you're repressing worse.
I'd personally be way more trusting of a guy who can own his truth about appreciating lots of different kinds of beauty, rather than claiming to only admire one woman at a time. It seems more confident, less false and more respectful of both himself and the girl he's dating, to be able to face a kinda awkward truth, rather than hide from it and build a relationship based on a lie. It allows both parties to take ownership over the kind of relationship they want and it will hopefully, leave you with someone who is a good match in the long-run, who can respect and love you for you are, not who you pretend to be. 😊
Thanks Dany for normalising other perspectives. 😊 Feel like you'll lift a weight for many people and help create a lot of healthier relationships because of this! 💕
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how can i love someone for who they are especially if i don’t like the way they are, and how can i not get upset or jealous or mad about him saying that kind of stuff for other girls, id prefer to live in a lie than to be sad from him telling that stuff to me, i know we are our closest person and we should share stuff but we are a man and a woman in a relationship STILL. and i don’t think that pretending to be “someone who you aren’t “ is that bad when you know the person is going to be upset, but i truly get you so id like if you help me a bit
how can i accept the way he is when it upsets me that he is that way and maybe yeah its better to know what he thinks but…
@@iamweebo1349There is no but. Love is ACCEPTANCE. If he lie to you, he’s lying to himself. Men lying isn’t a masculine trait
Idk, I just can love one person and I want the same from my partner
Maybe it’s natural like others I accept other opinions, but that’s not for me and hard to find others with the same energy
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Hey here I’m the same.
Same here !!
same
Crushes make people feel attractive, alive and everyone often get them even when they are very committed to their partners. Staying in love takes more time or work and loyalty. When a guy falls in love with a girl, it becomes filled with passion. It’s depending how it feels of being with this person as in relationships.
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This is the most relatable and factual video I found about this topic, much much appreciate you brother ❤️
What if I allowed myself to embrace that feeling....and I ended up cheating on my partner..... because once we allow that thought in our mind.... we'll not take much time to make that thought come true.... it'll become very difficult to resist if I'll accept and embrace.....
Exactly my question
It’s hard but important to resist especially if your with someone that you love and that love you. That crush of yours might not love but just like you. Then you’ll end up being alone.
@@DerekDutton99well if you truly love someone it will rarely happen and yeah when you embrace these thoughts you will continue embracing other thoughts and justifying yourself that its okay and “i am built like that, this is who i am” instead of changing yourself
Finally got a logical and convincing answer after watching so many videos!
Thanks so much I needed to hear this 😊
There is a difference though when your partner can’t show you attraction though and he’s obsessed with attractive women online. A good way to make a woman feel not good enough
That's definitely a red sign that the man is not suitable for the woman and it's completely different from once in a while fantasy
It’s called the wondering eye lol. My ex told me that 20 years ago lol
this helped me so much :)
Love this!
Why should we abandon the Disney kind of, romantically "infatuated" and ultimately devoted kind of love? So many relationships don't work out, because either one or both parties settle and agree to a decently happy and satisfied position - exactly what he is describing in the video. Then, of course you will lust over others all the time, because you don't have a genuine connection with your partner where you'd see them as something completely superior or even divine, compared to other women. I think that is the only case where either a man or a woman would waste this much energy or thinking on "being attracted" to others, otherwise it's just a natural instict and something one forgets in literally a minute after seeing that attractive third person. For this reaso, aspiring to find "The One" should remain the goal, else people will continue lowering their standards and make themselves believe that they are sooo happy (while they actually just enjoy having someone instead of having that specific person). Having said this, not everyone might find their true partner. More importantly, "the one" doesn't have to be actually one person. Building such a deep connection can happen with multiple people in a lifetime, but is absolutely necessary IMO.
Great video. Thanks!
thank you so much, an advice i really need to hear
Even more of a reason to stay single. There’s always gonna be a person that you find irresistible. Because familiarity breeds contempt
It’s good to have a lot of female friends, it helps your understanding of women better.
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Allow it, embrace it.
my girlfriend keeps sending me videos like that in order to help herself with the fact that she gets attracted to a lot of guys which she feels bad about. man thats so annoying
Is she still your girlfriend?
@@FM-jy7cm no. we broke up over two years ago
I don't like my boyfriend to look at other women what about me I don't look at any men because ik I belong to him and I'm loyal I don't even want to look at others so why he doesn't love me the same way
Find a guy who thinks the same way. It’s rare but I believe they are out there, definitely if a woman can think and be this way a man can also thinks the same, it’s because men been privileged they are less careful about that. I’m in the same situation, seeking to find the same loyalty back from my guy. I will find him soon.
@@powerfullgoddess5797 but you're asking for something impossible, we all look at other people and do notice the attractiveness and beauty around us be it cute babies or handsome men or beautiful women or even beautiful nature scene so the idea that ones is absolutely blind about their surroundings is quite unrealistic, but maybe you mean those types of men who ogle women in a very obvious creepy way theb yeah i agree with you
It’s wonderful that you can acknowledge these feelings! But that means you have to do the work to understand where your insecurities come from and to build and understand your value so that a man’s glance at someone else doesn’t phase you.
It’s also normal for women to look at other men and be attracted to other men. Men need to accept that and not freak out with jealousy if she talks to a guy or even smiles at one. Men freak out for anything
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thanks a lot mate, your words ease my mind
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Thanks you
bruv...preach
I chanced upon your travel vlog on Albania. Then I saw you had a few on the Philippines. Thank you for the very kind words you had for my country. I noticed that in Albania you had a beautiful Asian lady with you. In the Philippines there was blonde lady, different from Albania. Just saying.
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I always have found it confusing how people objectify people. I’ve not really done that past the age of 14. I’m very focussed and loyal in relationships. This explanation helped. I also find it weird that people can get attracted to young people. I find it confusing for people over 30 to be aroused by people in their 20’s and below. I think of that age group ass growing and young. I might think they’re good looking but I don’t think of them sexually.
Isn’t that normal?
The thing is, don’t act out on it.
But wouldn’t that lead to frustration?
I believe the issue is wanting it in the first place
@@paulavidaurreta4335 everyone will be tempted man
@@paulavidaurreta4335and frustation and frustation and frustation till when????what makes You think the same is not gonna happen every other gf bf???
I'm in a relationship I have feelings for someone else I'm hurting over here 😭
ignore that person and don't talk to the person
@@Livelaughshartdumb advice! They didn't say they were happy with their current relationship!
Good s*** man 👍 👍
Then you are human.
Not just guys - know she is looking too ;o) In a social climbing society with unlimited access to others, you can't help wondering if different could be better.
A wise OBGYN in my family once told me "Everybody cheats."
Because he had seen that in his 30 year practice. Stats don't lie.
But I also once heard a father tell his daughter on her wedding day that if he cheats it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love her.
Here is a young woman with the same problem 😭
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how's your relationship now
I have a similar problem going with my relationship can you help me through that
how's your relationship now
Why do other ladies look at my partner I'm confused shocked from Ami Logan Williams from Hamilton new Zealand 🇳🇿
You know, while watching this, I was texting a very interesting girl, that I have lots and lots in common.. we started talking randomly over snapchat after she added me. I started to think about how it would be to date her, because talking was easy and shes very pretty.. but dating her would mean, I have to let my current girlfriend go.. I physically felt unsettled by that thought.. think about that
Did your girlfriend know you were talking to another girl?
What if ur already in a relationship for more than a year but u have been attracted too someone more prettier or let's say better than the person u r with already nd with that prettier girl u also have a chance too date her now ur stuck in this situation where u can't leave both
What to do?
Broke up
@eddyalonsomoramorales6069 why do so many people like you think it's that easy? Are we like 17 years old here or something? It's a bit more complicated than just going back to grab your jacket and a Playstation...
@@Tom-cp6yj broke up
There You go
I know is not easy but the answer is simple
Or what do You want me to tell You??????
This guy has being cheating emotionally on his current girlfriend he is fully aware that he likes this other girl an instead of running away he keeps putting himself in positions to be with her
He also says this girl is better and prettier
Like what🤣🤣🤣????
Dump her thats it he ask for a solution i give him one🤓🤓🤓
He either way can go with that other girl or just with the one he is now the solution is simple
cool
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I love my girlfriend but I imagine to be in combination whit other people
so that is the status of your relationship right now?
just curious😇, is the girl you've been in albania is your girlfriend?
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Are you faithful to your girlfriend?
🤣🤣🤣🤣
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why u look like cole sprouse?
bc he doesn’t
I see it
Didn't understand anything
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If you fall for a second person then that means you didn’t really love the first.
I know polygamist people who are very happy and loving to each other. I would even say that historically it was a normal way of life. A long as you’re honest and agree it’s all good.
That's bullshit and everybody knows it is bulshit
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@@DanyDev it only means this new person has something that your current partner doesn’t have, developing that attraction to a crush says nothing but lack of commitment to the partner.
I think you are estimulating weak men keeping up with their isssues instead of solving it. Men in a relationship looking at other women IS AN ISSUE AND SHOULDNT BE NORMALIZED. RESPECT THE GOOD WOMAN WHO IS BY YOUR SIDE.
It means your weak! You have no control over your desire nad lust. You can never please or love a women truly if your lookin around. Would you want your women looking at other men the same way? I doubt it!
The Lord says. If you look upon a women with lust in your eyes you have already committed adultery in your heart.
This guys advise is crap, other then talking to your partner about it that is a good start.
You can appreciate beauty but not in a lustful sense
Thanks man