Exactly and unless you assess or evaluate every person those are not accurate numbers it's not that people overuse the word it's just that society finally has a word to explain their horrible behavior theyve been dealing with for years,
They actually look for people that are very confident cause they’re not and want to take that away from you but hard to notice when you are emphatic and just a genuine good person because you try to understand them and subconsciously justify their behavior. By saying “you” I’m kinda taking to myself haha been there but learned a lot
From my experience, narcissists want to take your "energy" in some way or another. I feel that the only way to protect yourself from a narcissist is to work on your own insecurities & low self-esteem within yourself. Foster self-love within yourself so you can validate yourself! ❤
Moving your arm wants to take energy from you, chewing wants to take energy from you. Just make sure what you're chewing replenishes the energy or you'll lose some.
I fell for a gorgeous, confident, charming Narc who love-bombed me and made me feel SO desirable/gorgeous that I was sucked into his web. Great relationship BUT he was never there when I was sick, nor stood beside me in times of strife and to top it all, abandoned me the day after my dad died! Yup, I learned the hard way but now that I can spot a Narc a mile off, I’ve never fallen for all that crap again.
You don't know a narc for sure til you're seriously vulnerable. They will shit all over your deep pain and abandon you horrifically when you need a loving partner the most.
Why have you got to taint that relationship by turning it into some big dark conspiracy, why can't he just be a floored person who made you feel loved but also hurt you intensly? It's a story as old as time and is the source of a lot of literature, poetry and music. The level of emotion we can cause each other UNINTENTIONALLY is amazing and the best way to deal with this is to judo it into something else whether that's art or just an understanding of the person you would now like to meet and what's most important to you.. But simply retrospectively looking at an entire period of time you had with someone and moments you shared as one big evil conspiracy where someone was constantly pulling strings, had bad intentions the entire time snd nothing was ever real, is so bad and so stupid this is not how to deal with it snd will only generate feelings of resentment and paranoia about other partners etc. It's just very human and animalistic.
thanks for sharing this. whoever experienced narcistic abuse knows, you will never want that shit to happen to you again. take care folks! and stay safe!
At the core of a Narcissist and psycopath is a person with fear of abandonment by his or her mother and left to fend for themselves, so instead of growing up the hard way, they resign themselves to acquiring, food and safety by feeling entitled to the maternal impulse of everyone, often through violence and manipulation
I dated and married a narcissist within 10 months. It was crazy. He was violent and almost killed me before I escaped. I felt like I was crazy… he was so good at acting.
If you see too many narcissistic traits even though there not clinically diagnosed. RUN!! Dont wait for the clinical diagnosis most never get the help to ACTUALLY be diagnosed because the problem isn't them its you in there eyes so they rarely seek treatment. RUN if theres to many narcissistic traits in the early dating stages or early days of a relationship
@@Potencyfunction Beloved I know someone who knows they are with a narcissist and won’t leave 😫. I’m interested in learning why people stay for YEARS! I have listened and watch her participate in his delusions of grandeur and get defensive when I say hey this is not healthy- you need to separate just for a while and heal. When he left her she followed like a sick puppy to be used again!!! Now they look like they are on the up but I see that cycle coming around again and it’s cruel to say I told you so - I will just be there because that’s what love ones do support and pray- maybe it can work out for her and she can start using him. But she is a good woman and not crazy like me 😅
Agree. Behaviorism aka SOR model. ( stimuli-organ-response) I do not have education in psychology but I have a B level in it, however too add more disrespect, I´ve been living with one for years and I know how they are.@@jessi547
the population of narcissists is increasing; the best thing to do is pray. be in constant communication with the Holy Spirit and He will guide you. "....in the last days. people will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. having a form of godliness, but denying its power. have nothing to do with these people." 2nd timothy 3:1-5
If there were 1000 men and one of them was a narcissist, that one would always find me in a crowd of 1000 women. After I became a christian, my self esteem and my self worth is over the roof and such people have no chance with me anymore. As a daughter of God I know my worth now and I will be treated as one.
I often get the sense that when someone accuses another of being a narcissist, they are projecting their own personality, as they themself think they 'deserve better', that another is not worthy of them, they think highly of themself, and need admiration.
Mine wasnt rich nor handsome. He loved bombed and conned. And im a empath who was duped. We live and learn. My periods stopped overnight due to stress. They have problems. Get out stay out. Do not look back
Thank you for sharing this video. I'm doing my best to heal from narcisstic abuse. Paul...you are spot on with all you say about narcisstists. I experienced a very dangerous narcissist.....no one else could see it but overtime I started to see it more and more. The manipulation, the control, the set ups....the list goes on. When I was being gaslighted, devalued, discarded, threatened and more she actually bragged about her behaviour and spoke about how she has done it all before on another...she was so proud of herself for all she achieved. I'm still in shock over it all and I'm dealing with PTSD. Some days are better than others. Thank you again.
So sorry you went through this.... i left narc ex few years ago. I now live like a hermit, shy away from people. I used to be so happy, confident and always caring for others. I even left my nursing career because i had nothing left to give.
Hi there, thanks for your reply...much appreciated🙏. I'm sorry you went through it all. I get how you feel regarding being a hermit and shying away from people. I prefer being in my own company after it all. I tend not to speak about it with others and can't just pretend I'm OK and do chit chat. Hope you find contentment and peace.
I absolutely agree,I fell for my Narsessectic ex at one of my lowest points in my life..I met all the criteria and was an easy target..I woke up at 2 years into the relationship,Leaving the man I loved,Making mysrlf homeless in the process along with the uncertainty of my future,Or staying in what became a Physiological and abusive relationship.I choose me and left.It took me a long time to realise it wasnt my fault and i. Stronger for it.I realised my ex was a Gas Lightning Narsessectic prick.I can change me but he will always be who he is.Its really important that these topics are discussed.So thank you.
Couple of months ago, I met someone that was tall and attractive, and very well off and because I have dealt with a narcissist before I saw the signs and this guy he wasn’t 😊hiding everything from the very beginning he had ultimatums, and then I found out that after talking on the phone for two weeks. He was sharing everything I told him, I just let that go as quick as possible. I know you’re not supposed to diagnose anybody, but to me I felt like he was showing signs of narcissism.
Agree and I think people's expectations of what they want in a partner are unrealistic now. You need balance and you need to have realistic expectations of life in order to be content
Thank you two very much I didn’t know what was going on in the dating world. It has certainly changed. Conversations are not the same and seem like I’m the man initiating everything and reaching out and suggesting things/ places to go. I have a better understanding now. Thank you 🙏
They say that online dating sites are hunting grounds for narcissists. Now we're saying speed dating is a hotbed for not only narcissists, but psychopaths too. Unfortunately, we've eroded society to the fact where the traditional ways of meeting people through community gatherings, family acquaintances. Or church are no longer really viable options. So I guess we all just have to stay alone.
I believe that narcissism can be healed. I know someone who had narcissistic tendencies and then they had an ego death and they rebuilt themselves with a healthier ego. It took them years but they have become quite a stand-up person.
He didn’t really explain to people how to spot a narcissist though. The most I learned was to look out for those that are “using” others. However, a lot of us “use” people in life, whether it’s friends, coworkers, or romantic partners. I need help on a work assignment, I use my coworker for their knowledge on the subject that I’m not so great at, etc.
I wouldn't call it "use" for non-narcissist. Yes, we receive help from others that we seek out, but presumably we return that same help to friends, family, associates, co-workers without it being/feeling transactional. From my experience of being married to a narcissist, they typically don't offer that same help, in particular if the relationship is in the discard stage. If they do it's transactional. Narcissists tend to have everyone (their sources of "supply") doing things for them, but when you need them 99.9% of the time they're too busy, sick, etc. There is always an excuse of why that can show you reciprocity. In addition to zero lack of empathy and the inability to admit doing anything wrong.
To help spot a narcissist you should look out for certain red flags. This involves dating slowly and allowing them to slowly expose themselves... If you feel yourself getting addicted or obsessing over them, then that could be a sign.. if things move a break neck speed, that's another sign... if they have a history of crazy exes... thats another sign.. Little to zero emotional empathy, that's another sign.. Other things include Having no respect for boundaries Grandiose opinion of themselves.. Unhealthy drug/sex kinks Cold behaviour Always trust your gut.... If you feel anxious etc etc... your body is telling you something
That's part of the problem with everyone on social media talking about mental health and things like narcissism. Now everyone is depressed or has narcissism and so on. But you are correct and that's why you'll see endless people saying they were entangled with a marginal part of the population. If you look for it based on a few snippets, you'll find it.
That’s not “using” that’s having an interpersonal relationship that is reciprocal- so I hope 👀 in your case 😅. I don’t use my friends and family that’s disgusting and low life. Using people is looking at them as OBJECTS to fulfill your needs then discard them like a jizzed in sock! Never ever returning the love given being emotionally, spiritually and physically supportive. I SUPPORT my friends and they SUPPORT me. We do not USE each other. Please understand to know the difference it can save your life ❤
I would more argue that in those situations the Narcissist is the one with the low self esteem problem and looking for validation as you'll notice because them feeling comfortable with speed dating like the Pyschopath makes sense since being there any longer poses a risk for exposure.
I refused to date someone ,it took him one year to persue me ,he even went to talk to my uncle ,he love bombed my uncle by buying him beer and icecream for his children. My uncle sat me down and said ,he is a food person ,give him chance. When I agree to date him he wanted to have sex with me on the first date. He tricked me on our way out that he wanted to pick up something at his friend's house. We went there ,I waited outside he told me to come in. His friend was not there. He locked the door. I faught him that day. He planned something else in the following month ,I gave in on that one it took me all night to fight him in a locked house. I gave in when all my body was aching from fight. My uncle did not beleive me ,I had a child with him. He said he was revanging because I rejected him for one year.
I often get the sense that when someone accuses another of being a narcissist, they are projecting their own personality, as they themself think they 'deserve better', that another is not worthy of them, they think highly of themself, and need admiration.
Completely agree the main people calling their exes narcs are they themselves a bit narc like . Any breakup requires empathy and forgiveness on both sides to be fully healed
I think the "deserving better", comes more from the gaslighting, abuse and worthlessness they received from their ex partner. Not necessarily that they think highly of themselves. Surely no one thinks it's normal to experience those things in a relationship. For most people in those relationships, they had already let a lot of abuse slide, (made excuses for their partner etc.) before they realised they, "deserve better" Just my two pennies...
When my narc ex and I were getting to know each other I asked him what is 1 word a friend of his would use to describe him to a stranger and he got up and danced and said CONFIDENT! 🕺 6 months later I told him... you are either Prince Charming in real life or a Psychopath, and the only way that I'll know is with time. He looked at me with a straight face and said... Well Prince Charming had to have some psycho in him, or it wouldn't work. Then he smirked and walked away. That was the beginning of the end. He courted me for almost 6 months. Within 90 of being in a relationship, my intuition was sure of the answer.
He’s not lying, though. It’s the same way with all of these athletes/ mega stars. A lot of people think they’re “humble,” but they would have never got to where they’re if their ego wasn’t through the roof. All of them required some sort of narcissistic personality to get to where they are. The reason you found him so damn charming is because he had narcissistic tendencies. Is it amazing? We are attracted to what we hate
I agree with 15%. I've met so many. It wont be 1 in 7 cars that pass you that contain a Dark Triad , as they all Love Status. If the car is Passing You, it can be large, flashy, arrogant, and expensive!! So it could be 1 in 4 cars passing you contain a dark triad!!
Does this just apply to narcissistic relationships or can this be the product of addictions, opposite attachment styles triggering each other, resentment, etc
My narcissist was always late. He had absolutely no respect for other people's times. I'm talking about not just about ordinary late, but also missing boats and planes etc. If I said why don't you get a watch. He said he didn't need a watck
Listening to his description, its cmear ro say he's basing it on men being narcissists but its proven that these traits are more common in women than men
Statistically, women show a more vulnerable and low self worth behaviour than men and therefore, in order to protect themselves, it is important for them to have high standards and high self worth. That doesn't equate to narcissism. Narcissism and vanity are two different things.
Yeah okay I needed to hear this today. I have self esteem issues and I got attached to a narcissist. But I soon understood what mistake I did. I am not sure about him though. He says and acts like he loves me. I want to ask can a narcissist really love someone or are they just pretending?
No, confident people can get roped in by narcissistic types too. I met a doctor whose ex was narcissistic. She was an extremely confident person and great in her field.
Im 42 and highly intelligent. I never ran into a somatic narcissist before. I already had pre existing conditions. I will get my revenge. I have spades aint played. Im still gathering intelligence. I did not deserve that abuse and im vexed. This narc lives in patterson new jersey.
I am 42. I met a narc female. Attractive, sweet voice, American and living in Moscow, Russia. Thd ex pat community know her mask. I moved there and knew no one. She targeted me. Groomed me for sex (I refused) then my home and money. I am a female myself. I kicked her out - destroyed my life in the international community. I am getting my revenge. I have shocking audio that I put on all ex pat telegram and whatsap. People are holding on to their core beliefs. Fools. What is your plan?
If you are highly intelligent you will just move on….. the best revenge is SUCCESS! With the person you deserve. That narc is waiting on you to be so pressed that you would send any energy their way bad or good.
I see what he’s saying. However I think many women our tired of being controlled so we are fine being independent. More and more women are realizing in today’s age we can thrive without a partner.
Some of you are not single by choice and its mostly because some of you dont want to be held accountable or receive feedback on shitty behaviours no matter how constructive it is. There are some men like that too but It is extremely difficult for some men in relationships to show their partners the folly of their ways because as you all say "if you cant handle me at me worst then you dont deserve me at my best". Soo?!!!
Everyone is a narc until you’re destroyed by one. Mine was NPD with diagnosis. I didn’t know. Horrendous - destroyed me- 4 years rebuilding my life, they are the devil
Omg yeah, I remember than when I met him, I thought "wow, so confident" Just to see later that actually he feels entitled and not enough within himself - it's just a mask
Reminds me of a relationship I was in from 18 to 21. If he hadn't moved away to America I don't think I would have ever left him of my own accord. It was a massive wake up call. Another angle is that he ran to another place because of me... Maybe I'm the narcissist 😂😂
You need to interview Prof Sam Vaknin! NPD is a fascinating yet extremely sad psychiatric condition, whose roots are based on abusive or ‘emotionally dead’ mothers/maternal figures. Sam Vaknin is an expert on this and continues to educate many of us.
wow very insightful...may i say the progression of the ages in what we want in a partner from women's point of view could also be similarly reflected in when a woman age; ie as women age, they realise they have lower and lower tolerance to bullshit from men and we want men who would be good partners in both parties' self actualisation.
I was with him until he said people stay in relationships with narcissists bc they “check boxes” and gave the examples of a man being over 6ft tall. Does this guy know anything about narcissistic relationships?? Their partners are VICTIMS OF ABUSE and narcissistic abuse is a difficult cycle to escape from. No one is staying bc their partner is tall! Way to blame the victim! Wow.
Funny how it "seems" to be that there are more male "narcissists" from these comments than there are females even though there are more women than men. 😂😂😂
People were not romantic until the 1800's.... how come, some of the ancient wonders of the world were built to celebrate/mourn love: the Taj Mahal in India, Semiramis Hanging Gardens think of stories like the Trojan War from Homer where the war started because of a woman.....
Please, interview a WELL educated, WELL experienced therapist about narcissism! And, COVERTS!! People get DEEPLY destroyed, VERY sick and often wish for death after coming out on the other side of abuse like this!!
For God‘s sake, those people are just children in adult bodies, why does everybody panic? Learn to deal with children and accept that you too also might secretely be looking for an adult figure in your life abd are angry inside that this other person is also just a child like you😉. It is part of our current world because there are too many people with no purpose because we are too many and people got children gor no factual reason (like e.g. working on ones land). Just my point of view.
And im sorry to say dis but i think a lot more women are narcs than they choose to admit....never seen a lady who went through a break up admit she was the one who messed things up...just thinking😅
He is sitting infront of you. The old dragons den, split personality. One minute he says his wealth makes him lonely and the next he is dishing out cash like a slave trader. Make your mind up bruv. Bit confused aren't you
You lost me at patriarchy. I was already on the fence when he started talking nonsense about in the past people only made it for reproduction. study some history dude
This is modern religion and this guy has no idea what he's doing. "Dark tetrad"... how dare he talk like that. Narcissism and talking about it is extremely lucrative and very good for attention online. The only thing that exists which acts in this way is not human form, the Facebook and TH-cam/social media algorhythms do work in this sort of calculated manipulative way where they push and pull you in a very controlling way. This person is talking very well and presents very well but he has not got a clue
What people dont realise is the number of Narcissists that come to watch these types of videos because it. Further fuels their ego believe it or not so they learn and adapt with these videos hence why they are hard to spot 😅
Men have used other humans since ever. This new age psychology souvds so hypocratic to me. There is nothing wrong with using people, this is human nature.
📺 Watch the full episode here -
th-cam.com/video/i2sHBL8BjWI/w-d-xo.html
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The thing is narcs don’t usually get a diagnosis…because they don’t feel they are the problem.
You can not cure someone who doesn't know they're sick.
if youre trying to figure out if youre a narcist- its a strong indicator youre probably not
Exactly and unless you assess or evaluate every person those are not accurate numbers it's not that people overuse the word it's just that society finally has a word to explain their horrible behavior theyve been dealing with for years,
My self esteem is not low but I fell for a narcissist. My lack of boundaries and blind empathy put me in that situation.
It ain’t your fault. You were trapped.
They actually look for people that are very confident cause they’re not and want to take that away from you but hard to notice when you are emphatic and just a genuine good person because you try to understand them and subconsciously justify their behavior.
By saying “you” I’m kinda taking to myself haha been there but learned a lot
I was abandoned. Me and our 4 month old daughter. He has never checked on his child or bothered to send a coin
@@fridatorres8735 This!
Same
From my experience, narcissists want to take your "energy" in some way or another. I feel that the only way to protect yourself from a narcissist is to work on your own insecurities & low self-esteem within yourself. Foster self-love within yourself so you can validate yourself! ❤
To defeat narcassist, you must become narcassist.
Have strong boundaries and stick to them, While you work on your self worth.
Absolutely. I felt like he was trying to suck the life out of me
Moving your arm wants to take energy from you, chewing wants to take energy from you. Just make sure what you're chewing replenishes the energy or you'll lose some.
Exactly my experience as well....
I fell for a gorgeous, confident, charming Narc who love-bombed me and made me feel SO desirable/gorgeous that I was sucked into his web. Great relationship BUT he was never there when I was sick, nor stood beside me in times of strife and to top it all, abandoned me the day after my dad died! Yup, I learned the hard way but now that I can spot a Narc a mile off, I’ve never fallen for all that crap again.
You don't know a narc for sure til you're seriously vulnerable. They will shit all over your deep pain and abandon you horrifically when you need a loving partner the most.
I was destroyed bit by bit and I still get flashbacks over it all but I'm getting stronger every day.they have no feelings it's all acting to them 😢
❤🙏🏽
Why have you got to taint that relationship by turning it into some big dark conspiracy, why can't he just be a floored person who made you feel loved but also hurt you intensly? It's a story as old as time and is the source of a lot of literature, poetry and music. The level of emotion we can cause each other UNINTENTIONALLY is amazing and the best way to deal with this is to judo it into something else whether that's art or just an understanding of the person you would now like to meet and what's most important to you..
But simply retrospectively looking at an entire period of time you had with someone and moments you shared as one big evil conspiracy where someone was constantly pulling strings, had bad intentions the entire time snd nothing was ever real, is so bad and so stupid this is not how to deal with it snd will only generate feelings of resentment and paranoia about other partners etc. It's just very human and animalistic.
@@danielkelly8756 dude stfu, you're a narcissist. Stop the gaslighting, olodo.
thanks for sharing this. whoever experienced narcistic abuse knows, you will never want that shit to happen to you again. take care folks! and stay safe!
At the core of a Narcissist and psycopath is a person with fear of abandonment by his or her mother and left to fend for themselves, so instead of growing up the hard way, they resign themselves to acquiring, food and safety by feeling entitled to the maternal impulse of everyone, often through violence and manipulation
they couldn't individuate from.Mama
@@FindYourFree yes, the basis of all personality disorders
Sorry let's correct that, at the core of ANY LIVING BEING
We are monkeys with big brains we are not superhuman we are human
This is LITERALLY it!! 🫡🎯🎯
I dated and married a narcissist within 10 months. It was crazy. He was violent and almost killed me before I escaped. I felt like I was crazy… he was so good at acting.
You are not crazy
I hope you're doing okay
Sounds like my last ex.
What made you feel like you were crazy?
@@bimrebeatsthe gaslighting from the narcissist
If you see too many narcissistic traits even though there not clinically diagnosed. RUN!! Dont wait for the clinical diagnosis most never get the help to ACTUALLY be diagnosed because the problem isn't them its you in there eyes so they rarely seek treatment. RUN if theres to many narcissistic traits in the early dating stages or early days of a relationship
They don't change, just change the way they approach you.
Do you want to be told 100 times to walk away? Are you having Alzheimer ?
@@Potencyfunction Beloved I know someone who knows they are with a narcissist and won’t leave 😫.
I’m interested in learning why people stay for YEARS! I have listened and watch her participate in his delusions of grandeur and get defensive when I say hey this is not healthy- you need to separate just for a while and heal. When he left her she followed like a sick puppy to be used again!!! Now they look like they are on the up but I see that cycle coming around again and it’s cruel to say I told you so - I will just be there because that’s what love ones do support and pray- maybe it can work out for her and she can start using him. But she is a good woman and not crazy like me 😅
@@PotencyfunctionYou are so disrespectful. You are no expert in the subject of a narcissist.
Agree. Behaviorism aka SOR model. ( stimuli-organ-response) I do not have education in psychology but I have a B level in it, however too add more disrespect, I´ve been living with one for years and I know how they are.@@jessi547
the population of narcissists is increasing; the best thing to do is pray. be in constant communication with the Holy Spirit and He will guide you.
"....in the last days. people will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. having a form of godliness, but denying its power. have nothing to do with these people." 2nd timothy 3:1-5
If there were 1000 men and one of them was a narcissist, that one would always find me in a crowd of 1000 women.
After I became a christian, my self esteem and my self worth is over the roof and such people have no chance with me anymore. As a daughter of God I know my worth now and I will be treated as one.
Amen, sister! 🧡🙏🏽
I am so happy for you. ❤
Wrong. You CHOSE THEM.
If you read the old testament then Yahweh behaves very much like a narcissist.
I often get the sense that when someone accuses another of being a narcissist, they are projecting their own personality, as they themself think they 'deserve better', that another is not worthy of them, they think highly of themself, and need admiration.
Mine wasnt rich nor handsome. He loved bombed and conned. And im a empath who was duped. We live and learn.
My periods stopped overnight due to stress.
They have problems. Get out stay out. Do not look back
Thank you for sharing this video. I'm doing my best to heal from narcisstic abuse. Paul...you are spot on with all you say about narcisstists. I experienced a very dangerous narcissist.....no one else could see it but overtime I started to see it more and more. The manipulation, the control, the set ups....the list goes on. When I was being gaslighted, devalued, discarded, threatened and more she actually bragged about her behaviour and spoke about how she has done it all before on another...she was so proud of herself for all she achieved. I'm still in shock over it all and I'm dealing with PTSD. Some days are better than others. Thank you again.
So sorry you went through this.... i left narc ex few years ago. I now live like a hermit, shy away from people. I used to be so happy, confident and always caring for others. I even left my nursing career because i had nothing left to give.
Hi there, thanks for your reply...much appreciated🙏. I'm sorry you went through it all. I get how you feel regarding being a hermit and shying away from people. I prefer being in my own company after it all. I tend not to speak about it with others and can't just pretend I'm OK and do chit chat. Hope you find contentment and peace.
I absolutely agree,I fell for my Narsessectic ex at one of my lowest points in my life..I met all the criteria and was an easy target..I woke up at 2 years into the relationship,Leaving the man I loved,Making mysrlf homeless in the process along with the uncertainty of my future,Or staying in what became a Physiological and abusive relationship.I choose me and left.It took me a long time to realise it wasnt my fault and i. Stronger for it.I realised my ex was a Gas Lightning Narsessectic prick.I can change me but he will always be who he is.Its really important that these topics are discussed.So thank you.
LMAO
Settle the f*ck down Rachael. You can't even spell the condition right.
What you did was very brave. I hope you have now found someone who is much more worthy of you.
Your story is literally the same as mine--time frame, homelessness, etc. It's been almost a year & I'm still healing. Glad u got away, too. 🥰
Very hot topic for very relatable reasons. They're EVERYWHERE!!!
Paul comes across more savvy in these 10 minutes alone, than he has in the reality TV shows he’s presented. Respect
The TV show producers don't let you go that deep. Also most of the general population is too thick for this deep level of knowledge and don't want it.
Couple of months ago, I met someone that was tall and attractive, and very well off and because I have dealt with a narcissist before I saw the signs and this guy he wasn’t 😊hiding everything from the very beginning he had ultimatums, and then I found out that after talking on the phone for two weeks. He was sharing everything I told him, I just let that go as quick as possible. I know you’re not supposed to diagnose anybody, but to me I felt like he was showing signs of narcissism.
Agree and I think people's expectations of what they want in a partner are unrealistic now. You need balance and you need to have realistic expectations of life in order to be content
You have already spotted them. But you choose not to act on the behaviors, for the bigger picture for what you're gaining.
Amazing podcast. I think Paul is awesome in his insight and presenting skills
Thank you two very much I didn’t know what was going on in the dating world. It has certainly changed. Conversations are not the same and seem like I’m the man initiating everything and reaching out and suggesting things/ places to go. I have a better understanding now. Thank you 🙏
They say that online dating sites are hunting grounds for narcissists. Now we're saying speed dating is a hotbed for not only narcissists, but psychopaths too. Unfortunately, we've eroded society to the fact where the traditional ways of meeting people through community gatherings, family acquaintances. Or church are no longer really viable options. So I guess we all just have to stay alone.
I believe that narcissism can be healed. I know someone who had narcissistic tendencies and then they had an ego death and they rebuilt themselves with a healthier ego. It took them years but they have become quite a stand-up person.
Dating will become a huge issues if we don’t be our self’s and trying to pretending to be someone else :) ❤ another amazing cut from the podcast 🎉
We'll end up alone because you have to be able to change slightly to make any relationship work!
"Compromise"
How true!! Leopard never changes its spots.
He didn’t really explain to people how to spot a narcissist though. The most I learned was to look out for those that are “using” others. However, a lot of us “use” people in life, whether it’s friends, coworkers, or romantic partners. I need help on a work assignment, I use my coworker for their knowledge on the subject that I’m not so great at, etc.
I wouldn't call it "use" for non-narcissist. Yes, we receive help from others that we seek out, but presumably we return that same help to friends, family, associates, co-workers without it being/feeling transactional. From my experience of being married to a narcissist, they typically don't offer that same help, in particular if the relationship is in the discard stage. If they do it's transactional.
Narcissists tend to have everyone (their sources of "supply") doing things for them, but when you need them 99.9% of the time they're too busy, sick, etc. There is always an excuse of why that can show you reciprocity. In addition to zero lack of empathy and the inability to admit doing anything wrong.
To help spot a narcissist you should look out for certain red flags. This involves dating slowly and allowing them to slowly expose themselves...
If you feel yourself getting addicted or obsessing over them, then that could be a sign.. if things move a break neck speed, that's another sign... if they have a history of crazy exes... thats another sign.. Little to zero emotional empathy, that's another sign..
Other things include
Having no respect for boundaries
Grandiose opinion of themselves..
Unhealthy drug/sex kinks
Cold behaviour
Always trust your gut....
If you feel anxious etc etc... your body is telling you something
Check out H.G. Tudor.
That's part of the problem with everyone on social media talking about mental health and things like narcissism. Now everyone is depressed or has narcissism and so on. But you are correct and that's why you'll see endless people saying they were entangled with a marginal part of the population. If you look for it based on a few snippets, you'll find it.
That’s not “using” that’s having an interpersonal relationship that is reciprocal- so I hope 👀 in your case 😅. I don’t use my friends and family that’s disgusting and low life. Using people is looking at them as OBJECTS to fulfill your needs then discard them like a jizzed in sock! Never ever returning the love given being emotionally, spiritually and physically supportive.
I SUPPORT my friends and they SUPPORT me. We do not USE each other. Please understand to know the difference it can save your life ❤
I would more argue that in those situations the Narcissist is the one with the low self esteem problem and looking for validation as you'll notice because them feeling comfortable with speed dating like the Pyschopath makes sense since being there any longer poses a risk for exposure.
I refused to date someone ,it took him one year to persue me ,he even went to talk to my uncle ,he love bombed my uncle by buying him beer and icecream for his children. My uncle sat me down and said ,he is a food person ,give him chance. When I agree to date him he wanted to have sex with me on the first date. He tricked me on our way out that he wanted to pick up something at his friend's house. We went there ,I waited outside he told me to come in. His friend was not there. He locked the door. I faught him that day. He planned something else in the following month ,I gave in on that one it took me all night to fight him in a locked house. I gave in when all my body was aching from fight. My uncle did not beleive me ,I had a child with him. He said he was revanging because I rejected him for one year.
Very very well put! Good on you, both!
I often get the sense that when someone accuses another of being a narcissist, they are projecting their own personality, as they themself think they 'deserve better', that another is not worthy of them, they think highly of themself, and need admiration.
Completely agree the main people calling their exes narcs are they themselves a bit narc like . Any breakup requires empathy and forgiveness on both sides to be fully healed
I think the "deserving better", comes more from the gaslighting, abuse and worthlessness they received from their ex partner. Not necessarily that they think highly of themselves.
Surely no one thinks it's normal to experience those things in a relationship. For most people in those relationships, they had already let a lot of abuse slide, (made excuses for their partner etc.) before they realised they, "deserve better"
Just my two pennies...
Maybe maybe not. Everyone deserves respect.
Bang on, the label of narcissist is a hot catch word these days for anyone that wants to shift the focus from their own shady traits
God bless u for dis...once someone tells me their ex was a narc, my alarm bells immediately goes ringing...lol
When my narc ex and I were getting to know each other I asked him what is 1 word a friend of his would use to describe him to a stranger and he got up and danced and said CONFIDENT! 🕺
6 months later I told him... you are either Prince Charming in real life or a Psychopath, and the only way that I'll know is with time.
He looked at me with a straight face and said... Well Prince Charming had to have some psycho in him, or it wouldn't work. Then he smirked and walked away.
That was the beginning of the end. He courted me for almost 6 months. Within 90 of being in a relationship, my intuition was sure of the answer.
He’s not lying, though. It’s the same way with all of these athletes/ mega stars. A lot of people think they’re “humble,” but they would have never got to where they’re if their ego wasn’t through the roof. All of them required some sort of narcissistic personality to get to where they are. The reason you found him so damn charming is because he had narcissistic tendencies. Is it amazing? We are attracted to what we hate
Handsome, inteligent and wise expert.
I see myself as a narcissistic person. I'm in psychotherapy because I can't no more justify my acts because my traumas ❤
15%! That's insane!! That's more than 1 out if 8...
7
I agree with 15%.
I've met so many.
It wont be 1 in 7 cars that pass you that contain a Dark Triad , as they all Love Status.
If the car is Passing You, it can be large, flashy, arrogant, and expensive!!
So it could be 1 in 4 cars passing you contain a dark triad!!
Easiest way to determine a narcissistic person is if they suddenly take on your fake hobbies/interests lol!
Not necessarily. Also says a lot if a person has to employ fake hobbies. 🤔
I AM GLAD PEOPLE ARE WAKING UP TO NARCISSISM
Does this just apply to narcissistic relationships or can this be the product of addictions, opposite attachment styles triggering each other, resentment, etc
My narcissist was always late. He had absolutely no respect for other people's times. I'm talking about not just about ordinary late, but also missing boats and planes etc. If I said why don't you get a watch. He said he didn't need a watck
Listening to his description, its cmear ro say he's basing it on men being narcissists but its proven that these traits are more common in women than men
Statistically, women show a more vulnerable and low self worth behaviour than men and therefore, in order to protect themselves, it is important for them to have high standards and high self worth. That doesn't equate to narcissism. Narcissism and vanity are two different things.
Great listen.
Thank you.
Yeah okay I needed to hear this today. I have self esteem issues and I got attached to a narcissist. But I soon understood what mistake I did. I am not sure about him though. He says and acts like he loves me. I want to ask can a narcissist really love someone or are they just pretending?
Stress will make these ppl die early.... I left him cause I am not dealing with stress....unnecessarily..... I am happyyyy
There is a lot of overlap with narcissism and high functioning autism.
No, confident people can get roped in by narcissistic types too. I met a doctor whose ex was narcissistic. She was an extremely confident person and great in her field.
Im 42 and highly intelligent. I never ran into a somatic narcissist before. I already had pre existing conditions. I will get my revenge. I have spades aint played. Im still gathering intelligence. I did not deserve that abuse and im vexed. This narc lives in patterson new jersey.
I am 42. I met a narc female. Attractive, sweet voice, American and living in Moscow, Russia. Thd ex pat community know her mask. I moved there and knew no one. She targeted me. Groomed me for sex (I refused) then my home and money. I am a female myself. I kicked her out - destroyed my life in the international community. I am getting my revenge. I have shocking audio that I put on all ex pat telegram and whatsap.
People are holding on to their core beliefs. Fools. What is your plan?
If you are highly intelligent you will just move on…..
the best revenge is SUCCESS! With the person you deserve. That narc is waiting on you to be so pressed that you would send any energy their way bad or good.
@@hoodhippychick true. I be needing a outlet. I'm back in school for a degree. Watching my health.
Spot on. 🎯
Dr. Sam Vaknim is one of the pioneers to understanding narcissistic abuse (he coined the term). He would be an incredible guest.
I see what he’s saying. However I think many women our tired of being controlled so we are fine being independent. More and more women are realizing in today’s age we can thrive without a partner.
Amen to that🎉
more women are unhappy than the 1960s'. More women are also on antidepressants. so much for "independence"
Some of you are not single by choice and its mostly because some of you dont want to be held accountable or receive feedback on shitty behaviours no matter how constructive it is. There are some men like that too but It is extremely difficult for some men in relationships to show their partners the folly of their ways because as you all say "if you cant handle me at me worst then you dont deserve me at my best". Soo?!!!
It's time that you take a closer look at the controlling and manipulative ways women present themselves.
Everyone is a narc until you’re destroyed by one. Mine was NPD with diagnosis. I didn’t know. Horrendous - destroyed me- 4 years rebuilding my life, they are the devil
Omg yeah, I remember than when I met him, I thought "wow, so confident"
Just to see later that actually he feels entitled and not enough within himself - it's just a mask
Entitlement level 1000
The last thing you loose is your hope. A parasite needs a host to survive. Save your energy. Walk away.
Reminds me of a relationship I was in from 18 to 21. If he hadn't moved away to America I don't think I would have ever left him of my own accord. It was a massive wake up call.
Another angle is that he ran to another place because of me... Maybe I'm the narcissist 😂😂
if you are asking yourself that ? you aren't the narcissist. Narc's lack self awareness and don't self reflect.
What!!!
I don’t have those check boxes!
So shallow!
You need to interview Prof Sam Vaknin! NPD is a fascinating yet extremely sad psychiatric condition, whose roots are based on abusive or ‘emotionally dead’ mothers/maternal figures. Sam Vaknin is an expert on this and continues to educate many of us.
15%! Approx 1 in 7 cars that pass you on the road has a dark tetrad inside it 😮
Definitely in Luton 😅
wow very insightful...may i say the progression of the ages in what we want in a partner from women's point of view could also be similarly reflected in when a woman age; ie as women age, they realise they have lower and lower tolerance to bullshit from men and we want men who would be good partners in both parties' self actualisation.
I was with him until he said people stay in relationships with narcissists bc they “check boxes” and gave the examples of a man being over 6ft tall. Does this guy know anything about narcissistic relationships?? Their partners are VICTIMS OF ABUSE and narcissistic abuse is a difficult cycle to escape from. No one is staying bc their partner is tall! Way to blame the victim! Wow.
Funny how it "seems" to be that there are more male "narcissists" from these comments than there are females even though there are more women than men. 😂😂😂
Seems like a good guy
7:27 its our prehistoric cannibalistic hunter-brain, that extends the pray patern from animals on individuals of the same species.
If you think victims of narcissistic abuse stay for those superficial reasons, then you know absolutely nothing about the narcissism.
Word salad. He says that the way to spot a narcissist is to live with them for two years, and see if they lie. Ok then.
Looking back at my ex-husband, signs were there as early as pre-marriage. Silly me did not understand those signs then.
FR. He is no Dr. RAMANI, that's for sure.
@@lnaph😂😂😂😂
@@neen9438 🙂
2 years is too long to waste on these frauds!! 😮😅
Wish this video was here 10 years ago lol 😂.
what do you find for laugh in 10 years are you a psychopat or what you are?
FACTS!!!!
That intro is also a reminder of who's more likely to get the kob after a job interview...
This is "dating" which isnt about love.
Don't forget moral panic
People were not romantic until the 1800's.... how come, some of the ancient wonders of the world were built to celebrate/mourn love: the Taj Mahal in India, Semiramis Hanging Gardens think of stories like the Trojan War from Homer where the war started because of a woman.....
They haven't read songs of Solomon? 😂
It's funny he speaks as if he's 300,000 years old lol
Please, interview a WELL educated, WELL experienced therapist about narcissism!
And, COVERTS!!
People get DEEPLY destroyed, VERY sick and often wish for death after coming out on the other side of abuse like this!!
Lol reminds me of Andrew gate & his brother two ultimate con men & narcissists :))
Hang on im confident.x you both are nutters .x glad im only a narcissist
I had to watch two time, he is way too hot.
For God‘s sake, those people are just children in adult bodies, why does everybody panic? Learn to deal with children and accept that you too also might secretely be looking for an adult figure in your life abd are angry inside that this other person is also just a child like you😉. It is part of our current world because there are too many people with no purpose because we are too many and people got children gor no factual reason (like e.g. working on ones land). Just my point of view.
Get Prof sam vaknin
Anyone else starting to get annoyed by the constant begging at the end of each video and the way he says “PercenT” 😂 We know Steven.
So basically modern dating troubles are due to hypergamy.
This guy lost me when he said that we live in a Patriarchy. Woman can sell their bathwater and make thousands.
Oh stop being so sensitive. What he means is that men still run things. That's just how it is. Men run things, build things. It's a Patriarchy.
@@Gnomesmushermen and women run a lot of things, it's delusional to believe western society is a patriarchy. Men have never been weaker.
Not sure how your example of a very obscure fetish is proof that patriarchy doesn’t exist
@@Gnomesmusher rulers don’t build, slaves and soldiers do
@@bimrebeats And men are all those things
"He (the narcissist) checks these boxes." This is a gendered bias and misleading statement.
Easy they smell fishy
Covert narcissists are not on this boat tho
And im sorry to say dis but i think a lot more women are narcs than they choose to admit....never seen a lady who went through a break up admit she was the one who messed things up...just thinking😅
the old sociaty, so simpler - did they have better sex because their choise of partner was mainly that.
The percentage is higher bcz they don't go to check themselves in therapy.
Anyone up for some speed dating now?? Lol
He is sitting infront of you. The old dragons den, split personality. One minute he says his wealth makes him lonely and the next he is dishing out cash like a slave trader. Make your mind up bruv. Bit confused aren't you
Only to find out that l am the narcissist 😂😂😂
The clickbait titles makes me not watch to share the videos
26/2/24 💜💜💜💟♏️
You lost me at patriarchy. I was already on the fence when he started talking nonsense about in the past people only made it for reproduction. study some history dude
This is modern religion and this guy has no idea what he's doing. "Dark tetrad"... how dare he talk like that. Narcissism and talking about it is extremely lucrative and very good for attention online. The only thing that exists which acts in this way is not human form, the Facebook and TH-cam/social media algorhythms do work in this sort of calculated manipulative way where they push and pull you in a very controlling way.
This person is talking very well and presents very well but he has not got a clue
What people dont realise is the number of Narcissists that come to watch these types of videos because it. Further fuels their ego believe it or not so they learn and adapt with these videos hence why they are hard to spot 😅
Wauwww
Men have used other humans since ever. This new age psychology souvds so hypocratic to me. There is nothing wrong with using people, this is human nature.
This was strictly from a female perspective 😂
Narcissistic is in all male
Total bollocks
This guy is no Dr. Ramani 😂 who is this dud? 🙄
Lol this guy makes his money from helping these types of people go on dates have you seen celebs go dating and married at first sight - what a leech