Why would somebody need to be through the gates an hour before the flight? Kinda worried I'll make the same mistake at some point, being chronically late (though I always seem to wait 30+ mins before boarding starts regardless).
Is that not typical in other places? In the US, especially if you’re checking bags, you must put them through at least an hour before boarding begins. Most responsible people aim to get to the airport 3-4 hours before boarding to make sure there are no unpleasant surprises.
@@chunli99 I'm in the US. Never check bags, so that makes some sense. I just go through security then wait to board the plane. Ofc they'd need more time to put your bags underneath.
"I'm stupid/I'm a screw-up" seems to be an extremely common feeling in people with adhd. I think that's the thing I've heard most people say after they got their diagnosis at a late age. That they always felt less intelligent than everyone else, and were so ashamed of it. Undiagnosed, adhd can lead to so many crippling mental health problems, and it makes me sad when parents refuse to get their kids tested when they (or the kid, or teachers) suspect something is wrong. Even if meds are off the table, a diagnosis can change everything.
They told my mom to get a diagnosis for something but my mom never had insurance for me as a child so I never got officially diagnosed the school never told me what I officially had just put me in the Special Ed classes
@@trappersshadow9751 I'm so sorry to hear that. And your mother is obviously not the kind of parent I'm talking about, since she didn't refuse to get you tested. She was unable to, and that's very different. I'm European, and sometimes I forget how bad the US healthcare system is.
My heart just ached for you, especially as you described that you were crying and felt “so stupid.” 💜 I’ve had stuff like that happen to me too, especially pre-diagnosis. It was even worse when I tried SO HARD to get it right, like you did sitting there, but there would be something I just didn’t know I needed to do… 😢
I've done one long haul flight in my life and it had an hour to change airports for another flight before taking a boat. I think everyone from my front door to Heathrow to Buenos Aires to Tierra del Fuego was aware of my plans - cabbies, check in people, coffee shop staff and patrons, the guy picking up litter by the bureau de change in Buenos Aries, who didn't speak English... and finally the lady in the hotel in Ushuaia who found room for me when I arrived three days early thinking I was about to miss the boat. I made it to Antarctica and the penguins but the level of drama mystified everyone I know. Just working through diagnoses now, nearly 60.
I developed so much anxiety throughout my life about this stuff and it makes my chronically esrly. After getting diagnosed with ADHD it makes sense why I can't relax in these situstions until I'm positive I'm on the right plane, bus, etc. And even THEN I'm still paranoid I'm on the wrong one. I have to listen to the pilot when he says where we're headed before I rest. Lol. Time management made me hyper vigilant and yet I still mess up. Dates, times, locations... It's like doing physics just to remember them properly, even when using calendars, notes and alarms.
I had missed/ messed up 8 flights within 2 years: 1. Confused the arrival time with the departure time 2. Confused 17:00 with 7pm 3. Confused the date and arrived there one day after the booking because I didn't feel the need to check, thinking I remember it 4. Was actually just running late 5. Was at the airport restaurant waiting for boarding time. But had confused the boarding time with the take off time. By the time I went to the gate it was too late to board the airplane. 6.Thought I had a flight booked but booking hadn't gone through and prices were 10 times higher than anticipated. 7.Confused 7am with 7pm 8.Thought being there 40 minutes before checkin is fine but it was actually 1 hour before the flight when they closed the gate. Still feeling anxious before each flight, worried that I overlooked something. even though I have gotten so much better after severe lifestyle changes. Didn't miss a flight in 14 years.
Oh my goodness. Thank you for that rundown of mistakes. 😂 I relate so hard, and it’s always soothing (😂) to hear/read similar mortifying experiences that I’ve had all my life that I rarely told anyone. I’m glad you learned from them, and have been successful in making your trips since then. I also learn well from my mistakes, though I tend to over-think, anticipate, and plan for all the possible ways things could go wrong. 😦
I have also missed a flight while in the airport because my Mum took me there too early so I thought I had loads of time until I didn't, also undiagnosed at that point. In later life I arrived for a flight a whole day early because I was so afraid I would miss it, I had said goodbye to loads of family and had to go back again and tell them all
I ALMOST missed my flight once! I got to the airport extremely early like 2 hours before. I pulled out my laptop to just pass sometime by and suddenly I hear by name being shouted for "final call for flight blah blah". I jumped up and rushed overly and just barely made it. The look on the flight crews faces were awful but felt deserved I was mortified.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one. After something like that, one’s airport hyper-vigilance was through the roof. Thank you for being brave and vulnerable. Gives us all a lot of hope.
I am nothing if not a ball full of neurotic hyper-vigilance from* all the horrifying mistakes I learned from. I would, from then on, have a series of must-do tasks to avoid such outcomes. Not that I would properly & in a timely way act those out, especially if I’d be accompanied ( = distraction), but from then on airport trips would provide zero joy and only a sense of impending doom waiting (not the plane-crash type of doom; just the missed-flight type). *(well, the neurotic hyper-vigilance originally resulted from parent interactions, and became my primary survival tactic, but that’s a different story)
@@ceterisparibus8966 -- Well, the ADHD is something that is always there, threatening my held jobs or job-getting attempts. But my hyper-vigilance always drove me to go above & beyond normal efforts in order to prevent anyone from ever seeing that I did not function very well. I have always had an intense sense of desperation to prevent anyone from noticing I'm doing something wrong, that I'm not doing everything possible to match some distorted high expectation I had (and, for distorted reasons, thought other people had), etc. So that drove me to prepare & plan... and to put tremendous energy into just looking normal. I have a history of overworking (I don't recommend it, btw). I have immense trouble understanding whether I'm slow at any particular task/project versus what any person would be over-burdened with. I'm 62 years old, and not quite as intense day-to-day. But I still have moments when I am so anxious for being "found out." Anyway, - Much of the time, I got by. - Sometimes my bosses said I was the best employee they ever had. - I also lost a job because my brain wasn't well suited for it. BIG CLUE/ADVISE: I have held my current job for 19 years now. Initially I applied for it because I recognized the position would work with my strengths, and have little use of my weaknesses. I work well if I can concentrate on one long project at a time with little interruption, instead of having a fast-paced, constantly changing situation. It wasn't very exciting, but I had come to conclude that it's not very fun working my axx off in a job that overuses my weaknesses. (What's upsetting is that my bosses kept adding on new responsibilities that prevent me from keeping up with my primary responsibilities, and they chop up my day and my concentration on the long projects. ☹) Anyway -- getting to know your strengths & weaknesses, and the circumstances that are friendly to your strengths (and which ones utilize too much of your weaknesses) I think is something to keep trying to do. That's separate from general interests... what you're pulled to do. Early in your adult life, those things are not so easy to see, but different experiences show you. So another important thing is to not look at yourself as the problem if something doesn't work out --- It's just information... ...just feedback that allows you to better hone a future that will better suit you. Do as I say, not as I do (!!) in that regard ! *** @ceterisparibus8966 -- What made you ask about getting/holding jobs? Are you going through difficulty with jobs?
My partner has ADHD too and his “hack” is that we are always at the airport like 4 hours before the flight. It’s a little crazy tbh. And the entire time it’s no relax mode. Sitting in front of the gate checking and double checking. Watching all the earlier flights come and go. Make sure to pack a lunch!!! 😂😂😂😂
@@ceterisparibus8966by creating a life of exhausting hyper vigilance. 😂. But seriously my method is by having a very regimented, strict schedule. I also utilize my calendar and alerts frequently to keep me on schedule. I also am able to harness my hyper focus for work which makes me appear to be a super hard worker. When the team is working on a problem I’m easily able to stay up until it’s fixed. But basically I try to design my days in a way to prevent missing things if I’m distracted and to harness my hyperfocus. I will always be distractible, but I can create an environment where it won’t cause problems. It has taken me 40 years give or take to get this all sorted out. But my advice is for ppl to play the part of a strict but loving/understanding parent when designing their lives. Make sure to make a life where your strengths can really shine and your weaknesses can be accommodated.
So I’ve noticed laundry mentioned a few times in your videos and I thought of this adhd hack for laundry: to avoid having to separate it into colors sometimes I start piles of specific colors that can go together and just put everything in it’s own pile instead of a giant mixed pile, I’ve been thinking about getting a few colored hampers to put them in their own color coded hampers so I won’t have to go through the task of separating laundry just to throw a load into the wash and then whenever one color bin gets full enough for a washer sized load I put it in the wash!
Yeah, I pre-sort into the dirty washing bins: whites in one, darks and colours in another and sports wash (i.e. any special items) in what's supposed to be the liner for one of the wash bins. We have two bins, but I'd like to have more so I can properly split the categories up. Then dirty bedding is stuffed into one of the pillow cases as its own container. I wash and dry each set of bedding on its own with no other washing and then store the clean bedding again in one of the pillow cases, but folded this time. This method means that I always have complete bedding sets and I never lose things like socks because they've got mixed up in the bedding (I may lose them for other reasons, but this eliminates one of them).
What kind of laundry y'all have? I only have once piece of clothing that "bleeds" colour, and I wash it by hand, the rest goes in one pile into the machine, never had any problems from it
I feel like the only reason I can mask my issues with time is because my dad was a stickler for time. You dont waste people's time. If you're not early you're late. So I usually arrive dumb early to jive and just wait because I'm afraid of being late. I spend more time counting the time to whatever I have to do
i almost missed a plane because i was too early, about 1 hour early. i thought oh i have so much time let’s do something fun, i went to duty free at Armani make up counter, and started to look for a foundation. there were 2 ladies there and they put me on the makeup chair, started to try foundations, match my color, give me advice. i was feeling great, having fun, totally forgot i,m in an airport and what time is it. i realize all that because it was a loud announcement 📢 about my flight, so i bought a foundation and run 🏃♀️ to the terminal . i wasn’t diagnosed then, i couldn’t explain how could i forgot i,m there to take a plane not shopping. the foundation is still my favorite after 6 years and extremely flattering . soooo 😊
This is why I won’t travel alone, and I always make sure the person or people I’m traveling with know the whole plan and exactly where we need to be and when and how to get there. I don’t even like to drive to unfamiliar places for events or hangouts and I usually have a friend pick me up and drive us there. I take my turns driving to closer places I know how to get to already and don’t have to have specific times to be there by.
Some time ago I had an appointment to take an MR scan, I had been waiting half a year for this. At first I mixed up where to go. I thought the knew where it was, but it wasn't there. Walked around in a circle and found it. And then when everything was ready for the scan, the operator asked me: Did you have any coffee today? And I said yes, and he said you weren’t supposed to. It said so in a message we sent you. I had to get a new appointment and felt so bad, I could have cried, luckily they didn’t charge me. Why don’t I read messages and letters properly?
You were just reading with your eyes not with your mind. Thinking of something else at the same time. Unfortunately your brain decided to not register what you were following with your eyes when reading. When I was wearing a watch I would glance at my watch without consciously registering the time. This would happen many times a day.
I've done this with email replies to things like job applications. I get the email confirmation they received my resume and I don't open them. Which is terrible because most have followed up instructions and/or links to testing materials.
Yeah, that's one of those moments where I'd really hate myself. Especially before my ADHD diagnosis. Luckily, I now have a lot of mechanisms in place to avoid stuff like that. But it akl onlx really works, because I do not expect of myself to just remember stuff as someone without ADHD would.
This is so relatable. Is there any fking cure because the constant anxiety of being late despite my absolute hardest to try and manage my time is a special kind of hell
ADHD here. Diagnosed at 40. 43 now. I missed a flight sitting at the ACTUAL GATE when I was 20. I was deep love gazing with my boyfriend at the time. Totally locked in. The world around me disappeared during my hyper focus.
When I was younger because I was not zipping around the classroom the doctor diagnosed me with HDD instead of ADHD but now in my late 30s I feel like ADHD can describe me much more accurately than ADD. So I'm not sure if I was just misdiagnosed as a kid or that it can change over time. Thank you for your videos and in a weird way relieves this weight off my chest and that maybe I'm not some lazy burden I've been led to believe over the years. Sorry for the long comments I guess what I trying to say is THANK YOU
They now call it ADHD inattentive (hyperactive mind), ADHD hyperactive (hyperactive body), and ADHD combined (meets enough criteria for both). What was called ADD is the equivalent to ADHD inattentive. Since you said that you were zipping around the room, you probably don't have the hyperactive type, but do have the inattentive type. It's still ADHD though so many of the symptoms are the same between the 2 types, just some symptoms present differently in the 2 types as well. Also, girls present a little differently than boys as well. In general, girls more often have the inattentive type, while boys more often have the hyperactive type. It's all ADHD though. So, if you were diagnosed with ADD, then you have what is now called ADHD -whatever type you have. It's just that 20, even 10 years ago, symptoms weren't understood well further than boys running around the classroom and girls daydreaming. ADHD affects so much more.
I missed my flight, because in my head I switched the depature and arrival time. I was at the airport. Just waiting. That was really expensive and stressful and I felt so so so incredible stupid
I was on my way up to interview at Microsoft, connecting flight in SFO. I had an hour and a half to wait, so grabbed lunch and went to the gate, wearing headphones the whole time. The board behind the desk showed "Philadelphia" and the small red scrolling display said "Seattle". I thought that meant Philly was boarding and Seattle was next. Right after Seattle disappeared from the red sign, I went to the desk and found out they were using the red sign for "now boarding" and I had literally just missed my flight. It, too, was before I was diagnosed. P.S. Somehow, I got the job and kept it for 12 years, too! :)
I just recently discovered your channel and watching some of your videos almost bring me to tears because it describes and visually shows what I struggle to get from my head out into words. So thank you so much
My Dad always said all this stuff was normal. He has ADHD, too, and his family has all sorts of stuff, so he just thought it was normal. So I don't feel stupid. I just see why I messed up, see it as reasonable, and learn from it. Now I feel very blessed for this. If I had made that same mistake with the flights, I wouldnt have been crying. I would have just acted super meek and submissive and explain what happened and say I'm super sorry. I also have autism, so "acting" like this is super duper normal for me. It's not lying. I just have to consciously manage my body language, words, and tone of voice to get across what is essentially already existent on the inside.
Apparently I'm the "'OMG I'm late for everything so I'm going to miss my flight' so I am at the gate like an hour early every single time" type of ADHD, because I can't imagine missing a flight.
I was traveling alone really foe the first time and was flying feom Alaska to Arizona with a stop in Seattle...at my stop I was taking pictures and strolling through the airport because I had plenty of time. Got to the gate and sat, thought the info was for a different flight and I'm just sitting and all of a sudden their calling for last call for MY flight ... I had to run, I genuinely thought they were boarding for the flight before mine🤦🏻♀️
Nearly missed a flight once by driving to the wrong airport. I flew that route regularly, but this once I booked a different airline - and they went from the other airport (Berlin had two at that time). I did not realize that until I could not find my gate. Catched my flight thanks to Berlin taxi drivers being kind AND totally bonkers as drivers xD Hence, I feel this a lot!
So relatable! I once sat at a gate at Fort Lauderdale, Florida, airport. I just didn't notice the plane was boarding. I believe it was a 'time blindness' issue - where I felt there should have been a lot more time between me sitting down and the plane leaving. But even then... Or perhaps I was too hyperfocused on learning Spanish? No clue, but I missed the plane that was literally boarding a mere 10 meters away from me - in direct sight. I just remember that the lady who booked me on the same flight but for the next day couldn't believe my story... I remember telling her, 'It must have departed from another gate,' and her telling me, 'No 'mam - it departed from the gate you were at'... For the longest time, my chances of catching a plane were about 50/50. Definitely missed a very important flight at Heathrow as well (also due to time blindness)! Nowadays, I have three backup plans/friends in place, and I normally don't sleep the night before catching a flight. p.s. still undiagnosed due to gaps in insurance - so who knows!? ;-)
I once absentmindedly drove to Heathrow instead of going to Essex because I took the wrong turn at a roundabout and didn't notice for nearly 30 miles 😬 Not quite as stressful as missing a flight but not fun for my petrol bill.
Oh man, talking of flights, I almost missed mine last holiday. I had a huge sensory overload in the airport, so went for my standard large comfort mocha, but the barrister was partially slow at making it. They had to open new chocolate bags etc. anyway I had a huge time blindness moment, thought I had at least 30mins to get to the gate… so wasn’t bothered and waited just happy to get my coffee. Turns out i had only 5mins to get to the gate! I had to full on peg it, bag in one arm, hot coffee sloshing about and all down my top… literally made it as they began closing the doors! I then had a very damp and embarrassed flight… 😂
I was on a 5 hour flight...not that long. My husband was picking me up. I got off the plane and walked around the airport for almost two hours trying to find the exit...I was too embarrassed to ask for directions , absolute nightmare. When I finally found my husband, I burst into tears, this airport I use at least three times a year 😢
Also, always changing my flight. I’ll book it and then when it comes about time, push it back, mad at myself that I should know better to book at that time. Almost every time pushing it back at least one to three times. Still miss my flight
Once i missed my morning flight - overslept(i knew i'd better not buy morning tickets due to the possibility of oversleeping, well i was absolutely right😊)had to buy new tickets, cause there was no exchange policy,and almost missed that flight too - got to check-in desk in 1 second(i kid you not) before the checking in was closed. 😅
I didn't get diagnosed until my mid-30s. However, when I was 20 I had a flight at 6AM and I knew I wasn't going to make it if I tried being "normal", so I went to the airport the night before and stayed there all night. Airports are spooky at night! Anyway, if I'd known I had ADHD I'd have felt better about it or would've known a better way but c'est la vie.
I've been physically in a train station and missed the same journey 4 times in a row. 😅 I have also missed 2 flights in my life due to time blindbess & lack of direction.
I’ve done this!!! In Dallas if I remember right. It was on a layover and I missed the connecting flight cause the first flight was delayed, so that one wasn’t my fault. But they booked me on the next flight so I sat at a bar and read a book and just got lost in thought I guess. Completely missed that one too. Went back to the desk and was just like…. “Um…. Iiii…. I’m so sorry but I missed it” and tbh, my memory has blocked out how I got on another flight. I do think they were kind to me, but I was so humiliated I dissociated. Next thing I remember is an old customer saying, “Hey look who it is! What are the odds we’re on the same flight!”
You're okay, though I'm sure you know that. It's just the stress of it. It's possible someone would catch it, but I don't think it should be expected. People forget to remind people that are new to situations about things and it ends up feeling like all our fault, when it isn't.
So today I skipped my medication bc I didn’t have anything pressing to do. I was pulling into a parking lot towards a taco bueno to grab a bite since I hadn’t eaten all day. Some random thought popped into my mind and I turned straight into a ditch. Terribly cold drizzly, nasty weather. I waited two hours for a tow truck, while thoroughly beating myself up, and coming up with a reasonable story to tell everyone to cover my stupidity. Inattentiveness is one of my biggest problems. Those pop-in thoughts are so detrimental.
I almost missed one recently and I was in the airport. To be fair they had so many delays that day that I stopped checking, assuming the app would tell me when it was boarding. Well that didn't happen and suddenly I was being paged and had to RUN. They made me run all the way down the gang plank. Luckily when I got to the plane the stewardess there said "stop running! Breathe, why are you running? there are many people still getting settled" She was very irritated to find out that they had made me run the whole way, once I was clearly there. She brought me extra water. But in the meantime, I felt really stupid as every eye was on me for most of this process...
Omg I did this VERY SAME THING with my two daughters who were 12 and 2 years old 😱 I was crying too and this super nice lady bought us a hotel room and baby formula (forgot that too) 🤦🏼♀️
I missed a bus which I was waiting for. It was right in front of me. But I was bored some minutes before, so I called my mom. Talked about cool stuff so the bus drove away without me. At first I didn't got what happened. Thought the bus was too late.😂
I did this exact same thing. Missed a flight being late, missed the next one already being in the airport. Friend was waiting to pick me up at destination. There is just so explaining that can help someone understand who doesn't have ADHD. It makes you feel like the worst most inconsiderate stupid person in the world, which isn't true but you don't have control over it or how people view it.
I've found the cure to ADD time blindness. Significant anxiety regarding being late. This way my ADD does the exact opposite. I show up early because my mind cannot stop ruminating on not being late. I get so antsy and hyper focused I don't know what else to do with myself and I end up being stupidly early and attached to the location I need to be.
I hope everyone with severe adhd finds peace and happiness within themselves and love and understanding for themselves. It's not your fault. Just try to play the hand you've been dealt to the best of your ability, keep your sense of humor, and above all know you are being protected by the higher powers that be, things happen for a reason. Maybe you were meant to NOT fly out on those flights. Only God knows. Xx
I have never done this with a plane but I did it with the bus, I literally got distracted on Facebook and didn't notice it turn up and noticed when I turned around and saw the back of it leaving the bus station
Thankfully this is not an experience I've had yet. Perhaps some credit is due to the many years of my early childhood spent flying on planes with parents that were very competent travelers. I always err on the side of overestimating how early I need to be at the airport for fear of getting there too late.
SIDE NOTE: You know when you're watching Unsolved Mysteries then supper comes along so you HAVE to watch Spongebob while eating then back to Unsolved Mysteries??!!
They should have told you, not your fault you didn’t think to ask. Who would? I feel like this could have almost as easily happened to a neurotypical person. But as ADHD fosters perfectionism and emotional dysregulation, I can understand why you blamed yourself and became very upset. I would have too 100%
Curious about how it is inside one ADHD torture chamber of a mind?! Spin around in a circle, til u fall over- that discombobulation (not the dizziness) you feel, those few min, are what it’s like inside this brain, 24/7. 🕊️
That doesn't count. No way. You were ON TIME according to the incomplete information they gave you. It still sucks though because I know it hits harder anyway... Just because that kind of thing happens all the time to us.
Well, you know you might not have heard them tell you you had to go through early because you were just feeling so relieved to get another chance. It's not really fair to say no one told me. I always say, I didn't hear anyone tell me. I mean who really knows.
To me this is just a woman who w doesn’t want to deal with accountability at all. To be honest with you I’m impressed how she’s getting away with everything. However highly disappointed that she’s using a true problem people actually deal with.
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To be fair, nobody told you that you needed to be through more than an hour before the flight.
Why would somebody need to be through the gates an hour before the flight? Kinda worried I'll make the same mistake at some point, being chronically late (though I always seem to wait 30+ mins before boarding starts regardless).
@@nashdashflash I suppose due to security? But yeah, it's a bit odd
Is that not typical in other places? In the US, especially if you’re checking bags, you must put them through at least an hour before boarding begins. Most responsible people aim to get to the airport 3-4 hours before boarding to make sure there are no unpleasant surprises.
@@chunli99 I'm in the US. Never check bags, so that makes some sense. I just go through security then wait to board the plane. Ofc they'd need more time to put your bags underneath.
They could've told me, and I'd still claim nobody did - because I was thinking of something else at that moment.
"I'm stupid/I'm a screw-up" seems to be an extremely common feeling in people with adhd. I think that's the thing I've heard most people say after they got their diagnosis at a late age. That they always felt less intelligent than everyone else, and were so ashamed of it. Undiagnosed, adhd can lead to so many crippling mental health problems, and it makes me sad when parents refuse to get their kids tested when they (or the kid, or teachers) suspect something is wrong. Even if meds are off the table, a diagnosis can change everything.
They told my mom to get a diagnosis for something but my mom never had insurance for me as a child so I never got officially diagnosed the school never told me what I officially had just put me in the Special Ed classes
@@trappersshadow9751 I'm so sorry to hear that. And your mother is obviously not the kind of parent I'm talking about, since she didn't refuse to get you tested. She was unable to, and that's very different.
I'm European, and sometimes I forget how bad the US healthcare system is.
@@JWildberry the school could have at least said what they suspected i had
Was diagnosed as a child and never told why I was the way I was. Just informed by a doctor four years ago. My family blames me for not being perfect
That or "I'm lazy"
Feeling that all too familiar feeling of 'wtf is wrong with me?' 😢 and the feeling of nothing has helped.... It's so draining
My heart just ached for you, especially as you described that you were crying and felt “so stupid.” 💜 I’ve had stuff like that happen to me too, especially pre-diagnosis. It was even worse when I tried SO HARD to get it right, like you did sitting there, but there would be something I just didn’t know I needed to do… 😢
I've done one long haul flight in my life and it had an hour to change airports for another flight before taking a boat. I think everyone from my front door to Heathrow to Buenos Aires to Tierra del Fuego was aware of my plans - cabbies, check in people, coffee shop staff and patrons, the guy picking up litter by the bureau de change in Buenos Aries, who didn't speak English... and finally the lady in the hotel in Ushuaia who found room for me when I arrived three days early thinking I was about to miss the boat. I made it to Antarctica and the penguins but the level of drama mystified everyone I know. Just working through diagnoses now, nearly 60.
In ADHD terms, you're practically an astronaut.
I developed so much anxiety throughout my life about this stuff and it makes my chronically esrly. After getting diagnosed with ADHD it makes sense why I can't relax in these situstions until I'm positive I'm on the right plane, bus, etc. And even THEN I'm still paranoid I'm on the wrong one. I have to listen to the pilot when he says where we're headed before I rest. Lol. Time management made me hyper vigilant and yet I still mess up. Dates, times, locations... It's like doing physics just to remember them properly, even when using calendars, notes and alarms.
I had missed/ messed up 8 flights within 2 years: 1. Confused the arrival time with the departure time 2. Confused 17:00 with 7pm 3. Confused the date and arrived there one day after the booking because I didn't feel the need to check, thinking I remember it 4. Was actually just running late 5. Was at the airport restaurant waiting for boarding time. But had confused the boarding time with the take off time. By the time I went to the gate it was too late to board the airplane. 6.Thought I had a flight booked but booking hadn't gone through and prices were 10 times higher than anticipated. 7.Confused 7am with 7pm 8.Thought being there 40 minutes before checkin is fine but it was actually 1 hour before the flight when they closed the gate. Still feeling anxious before each flight, worried that I overlooked something. even though I have gotten so much better after severe lifestyle changes. Didn't miss a flight in 14 years.
Oh my goodness. Thank you for that rundown of mistakes. 😂 I relate so hard, and it’s always soothing (😂) to hear/read similar mortifying experiences that I’ve had all my life that I rarely told anyone.
I’m glad you learned from them, and have been successful in making your trips since then.
I also learn well from my mistakes, though I tend to over-think, anticipate, and plan for all the possible ways things could go wrong. 😦
❤️
Glad the lady was nice and helpful
I have also missed a flight while in the airport because my Mum took me there too early so I thought I had loads of time until I didn't, also undiagnosed at that point. In later life I arrived for a flight a whole day early because I was so afraid I would miss it, I had said goodbye to loads of family and had to go back again and tell them all
I have to set an alarm when waiting for a plane, can easily forget all about it.
I ALMOST missed my flight once! I got to the airport extremely early like 2 hours before. I pulled out my laptop to just pass sometime by and suddenly I hear by name being shouted for "final call for flight blah blah". I jumped up and rushed overly and just barely made it. The look on the flight crews faces were awful but felt deserved I was mortified.
Once?
Almost?
Deserved?
We try really hard and deserve some compassion
I know this exact feeling and the feel if those tears.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one. After something like that, one’s airport hyper-vigilance was through the roof.
Thank you for being brave and vulnerable. Gives us all a lot of hope.
I am nothing if not a ball full of neurotic hyper-vigilance from* all the horrifying mistakes I learned from.
I would, from then on, have a series of must-do tasks to avoid such outcomes.
Not that I would properly & in a timely way act those out, especially if I’d be accompanied ( = distraction), but from then on airport trips would provide zero joy and only a sense of impending doom waiting (not the plane-crash type of doom; just the missed-flight type).
*(well, the neurotic hyper-vigilance originally resulted from parent interactions, and became my primary survival tactic, but that’s a different story)
@@sfstuccoEvery single thing you said speaks to me. Wow. On another note, how do you get and hold down opportunities for work?
@@ceterisparibus8966
-- Well, the ADHD is something that is always there, threatening my held jobs or job-getting attempts.
But my hyper-vigilance always drove me to go above & beyond normal efforts in order to prevent anyone from ever seeing that I did not function very well.
I have always had an intense sense of desperation to prevent anyone from noticing I'm doing something wrong, that I'm not doing everything possible to match some distorted high expectation I had (and, for distorted reasons, thought other people had), etc.
So that drove me to prepare & plan... and to put tremendous energy into just looking normal.
I have a history of overworking (I don't recommend it, btw).
I have immense trouble understanding whether I'm slow at any particular task/project versus what any person would be over-burdened with.
I'm 62 years old, and not quite as intense day-to-day. But I still have moments when I am so anxious for being "found out."
Anyway,
- Much of the time, I got by.
- Sometimes my bosses said I was the best employee they ever had.
- I also lost a job because my brain wasn't well suited for it.
BIG CLUE/ADVISE:
I have held my current job for 19 years now.
Initially I applied for it because I recognized the position would work with my strengths, and have little use of my weaknesses.
I work well if I can concentrate on one long project at a time with little interruption, instead of having a fast-paced, constantly changing situation.
It wasn't very exciting, but I had come to conclude that it's not very fun working my axx off in a job that overuses my weaknesses.
(What's upsetting is that my bosses kept adding on new responsibilities that prevent me from keeping up with my primary responsibilities, and they chop up my day and my concentration on the long projects. ☹)
Anyway -- getting to know your strengths & weaknesses, and the circumstances that are friendly to your strengths (and which ones utilize too much of your weaknesses) I think is something to keep trying to do. That's separate from general interests... what you're pulled to do.
Early in your adult life, those things are not so easy to see, but different experiences show you.
So another important thing is to not look at yourself as the problem if something doesn't work out --- It's just information... ...just feedback that allows you to better hone a future that will better suit you.
Do as I say, not as I do (!!) in that regard !
*** @ceterisparibus8966 -- What made you ask about getting/holding jobs?
Are you going through difficulty with jobs?
My partner has ADHD too and his “hack” is that we are always at the airport like 4 hours before the flight. It’s a little crazy tbh. And the entire time it’s no relax mode. Sitting in front of the gate checking and double checking. Watching all the earlier flights come and go. Make sure to pack a lunch!!! 😂😂😂😂
@@ceterisparibus8966by creating a life of exhausting hyper vigilance. 😂. But seriously my method is by having a very regimented, strict schedule. I also utilize my calendar and alerts frequently to keep me on schedule. I also am able to harness my hyper focus for work which makes me appear to be a super hard worker. When the team is working on a problem I’m easily able to stay up until it’s fixed. But basically I try to design my days in a way to prevent missing things if I’m distracted and to harness my hyperfocus. I will always be distractible, but I can create an environment where it won’t cause problems. It has taken me 40 years give or take to get this all sorted out. But my advice is for ppl to play the part of a strict but loving/understanding parent when designing their lives. Make sure to make a life where your strengths can really shine and your weaknesses can be accommodated.
So I’ve noticed laundry mentioned a few times in your videos and I thought of this adhd hack for laundry: to avoid having to separate it into colors sometimes I start piles of specific colors that can go together and just put everything in it’s own pile instead of a giant mixed pile, I’ve been thinking about getting a few colored hampers to put them in their own color coded hampers so I won’t have to go through the task of separating laundry just to throw a load into the wash and then whenever one color bin gets full enough for a washer sized load I put it in the wash!
Yeah, I pre-sort into the dirty washing bins: whites in one, darks and colours in another and sports wash (i.e. any special items) in what's supposed to be the liner for one of the wash bins.
We have two bins, but I'd like to have more so I can properly split the categories up.
Then dirty bedding is stuffed into one of the pillow cases as its own container. I wash and dry each set of bedding on its own with no other washing and then store the clean bedding again in one of the pillow cases, but folded this time. This method means that I always have complete bedding sets and I never lose things like socks because they've got mixed up in the bedding (I may lose them for other reasons, but this eliminates one of them).
What kind of laundry y'all have? I only have once piece of clothing that "bleeds" colour, and I wash it by hand, the rest goes in one pile into the machine, never had any problems from it
I feel like the only reason I can mask my issues with time is because my dad was a stickler for time. You dont waste people's time. If you're not early you're late. So I usually arrive dumb early to jive and just wait because I'm afraid of being late. I spend more time counting the time to whatever I have to do
i almost missed a plane because i was too early, about 1 hour early. i thought oh i have so much time let’s do something fun, i went to duty free at Armani make up counter, and started to look for a foundation. there were 2 ladies there and they put me on the makeup chair, started to try foundations, match my color, give me advice. i was feeling great, having fun, totally forgot i,m in an airport and what time is it. i realize all that because it was a loud announcement 📢 about my flight, so i bought a foundation and run 🏃♀️ to the terminal . i wasn’t diagnosed then, i couldn’t explain how could i forgot i,m there to take a plane not shopping. the foundation is still my favorite after 6 years and extremely flattering . soooo 😊
This is why I won’t travel alone, and I always make sure the person or people I’m traveling with know the whole plan and exactly where we need to be and when and how to get there. I don’t even like to drive to unfamiliar places for events or hangouts and I usually have a friend pick me up and drive us there. I take my turns driving to closer places I know how to get to already and don’t have to have specific times to be there by.
Some time ago I had an appointment to take an MR scan, I had been waiting half a year for this. At first I mixed up where to go. I thought the knew where it was, but it wasn't there. Walked around in a circle and found it. And then when everything was ready for the scan, the operator asked me: Did you have any coffee today? And I said yes, and he said you weren’t supposed to. It said so in a message we sent you. I had to get a new appointment and felt so bad, I could have cried, luckily they didn’t charge me.
Why don’t I read messages and letters properly?
You were just reading with your eyes not with your mind. Thinking of something else at the same time. Unfortunately your brain decided to not register what you were following with your eyes when reading. When I was wearing a watch I would glance at my watch without consciously registering the time. This would happen many times a day.
I've done this with email replies to things like job applications. I get the email confirmation they received my resume and I don't open them.
Which is terrible because most have followed up instructions and/or links to testing materials.
Yeah, that's one of those moments where I'd really hate myself. Especially before my ADHD diagnosis. Luckily, I now have a lot of mechanisms in place to avoid stuff like that. But it akl onlx really works, because I do not expect of myself to just remember stuff as someone without ADHD would.
This is so relatable. Is there any fking cure because the constant anxiety of being late despite my absolute hardest to try and manage my time is a special kind of hell
That's understandable, with the extra rules and all. Hope you can go easy on yourself about this.
ADHD here. Diagnosed at 40. 43 now. I missed a flight sitting at the ACTUAL GATE when I was 20. I was deep love gazing with my boyfriend at the time. Totally locked in. The world around me disappeared during my hyper focus.
When I was younger because I was not zipping around the classroom the doctor diagnosed me with HDD instead of ADHD but now in my late 30s I feel like ADHD can describe me much more accurately than ADD. So I'm not sure if I was just misdiagnosed as a kid or that it can change over time. Thank you for your videos and in a weird way relieves this weight off my chest and that maybe I'm not some lazy burden I've been led to believe over the years. Sorry for the long comments I guess what I trying to say is THANK YOU
They now call it ADHD inattentive (hyperactive mind), ADHD hyperactive (hyperactive body), and ADHD combined (meets enough criteria for both). What was called ADD is the equivalent to ADHD inattentive.
Since you said that you were zipping around the room, you probably don't have the hyperactive type, but do have the inattentive type. It's still ADHD though so many of the symptoms are the same between the 2 types, just some symptoms present differently in the 2 types as well. Also, girls present a little differently than boys as well. In general, girls more often have the inattentive type, while boys more often have the hyperactive type.
It's all ADHD though. So, if you were diagnosed with ADD, then you have what is now called ADHD -whatever type you have.
It's just that 20, even 10 years ago, symptoms weren't understood well further than boys running around the classroom and girls daydreaming. ADHD affects so much more.
I love your new sit-down chats!!
I love both of you so much & wish you a fabulous New Year❣️❣️
I missed my flight, because in my head I switched the depature and arrival time. I was at the airport. Just waiting. That was really expensive and stressful and I felt so so so incredible stupid
I was on my way up to interview at Microsoft, connecting flight in SFO. I had an hour and a half to wait, so grabbed lunch and went to the gate, wearing headphones the whole time. The board behind the desk showed "Philadelphia" and the small red scrolling display said "Seattle". I thought that meant Philly was boarding and Seattle was next. Right after Seattle disappeared from the red sign, I went to the desk and found out they were using the red sign for "now boarding" and I had literally just missed my flight. It, too, was before I was diagnosed.
P.S. Somehow, I got the job and kept it for 12 years, too! :)
I just recently discovered your channel and watching some of your videos almost bring me to tears because it describes and visually shows what I struggle to get from my head out into words. So thank you so much
Thank you for sharing these and giving us a chance to have more compassion for ourselves and for others
My Dad always said all this stuff was normal. He has ADHD, too, and his family has all sorts of stuff, so he just thought it was normal. So I don't feel stupid. I just see why I messed up, see it as reasonable, and learn from it. Now I feel very blessed for this.
If I had made that same mistake with the flights, I wouldnt have been crying. I would have just acted super meek and submissive and explain what happened and say I'm super sorry. I also have autism, so "acting" like this is super duper normal for me. It's not lying. I just have to consciously manage my body language, words, and tone of voice to get across what is essentially already existent on the inside.
Thank you for this!!! Done this several times! You think as much as it’s happened I’d have it down to a science where it doesn’t. Always something
Apparently I'm the "'OMG I'm late for everything so I'm going to miss my flight' so I am at the gate like an hour early every single time" type of ADHD, because I can't imagine missing a flight.
I was traveling alone really foe the first time and was flying feom Alaska to Arizona with a stop in Seattle...at my stop I was taking pictures and strolling through the airport because I had plenty of time. Got to the gate and sat, thought the info was for a different flight and I'm just sitting and all of a sudden their calling for last call for MY flight ... I had to run, I genuinely thought they were boarding for the flight before mine🤦🏻♀️
Nearly missed a flight once by driving to the wrong airport. I flew that route regularly, but this once I booked a different airline - and they went from the other airport (Berlin had two at that time). I did not realize that until I could not find my gate.
Catched my flight thanks to Berlin taxi drivers being kind AND totally bonkers as drivers xD
Hence, I feel this a lot!
I had something eerily similar happen twice in my life, and I fervently hope it'll never happen again.
So relatable! I once sat at a gate at Fort Lauderdale, Florida, airport. I just didn't notice the plane was boarding. I believe it was a 'time blindness' issue - where I felt there should have been a lot more time between me sitting down and the plane leaving. But even then... Or perhaps I was too hyperfocused on learning Spanish? No clue, but I missed the plane that was literally boarding a mere 10 meters away from me - in direct sight. I just remember that the lady who booked me on the same flight but for the next day couldn't believe my story... I remember telling her, 'It must have departed from another gate,' and her telling me, 'No 'mam - it departed from the gate you were at'... For the longest time, my chances of catching a plane were about 50/50. Definitely missed a very important flight at Heathrow as well (also due to time blindness)! Nowadays, I have three backup plans/friends in place, and I normally don't sleep the night before catching a flight. p.s. still undiagnosed due to gaps in insurance - so who knows!? ;-)
I once absentmindedly drove to Heathrow instead of going to Essex because I took the wrong turn at a roundabout and didn't notice for nearly 30 miles 😬
Not quite as stressful as missing a flight but not fun for my petrol bill.
Oh man, talking of flights, I almost missed mine last holiday. I had a huge sensory overload in the airport, so went for my standard large comfort mocha, but the barrister was partially slow at making it. They had to open new chocolate bags etc. anyway I had a huge time blindness moment, thought I had at least 30mins to get to the gate… so wasn’t bothered and waited just happy to get my coffee. Turns out i had only 5mins to get to the gate! I had to full on peg it, bag in one arm, hot coffee sloshing about and all down my top… literally made it as they began closing the doors! I then had a very damp and embarrassed flight… 😂
That was their fault for not telling you
I was on a 5 hour flight...not that long. My husband was picking me up. I got off the plane and walked around the airport for almost two hours trying to find the exit...I was too embarrassed to ask for directions , absolute nightmare. When I finally found my husband, I burst into tears, this airport I use at least three times a year 😢
Also, always changing my flight. I’ll book it and then when it comes about time, push it back, mad at myself that I should know better to book at that time. Almost every time pushing it back at least one to three times. Still miss my flight
I’m so glad I don’t fly alone. God knows how many flights I’d miss. I’d probably wouldn’t even get to the airport on time!
Once i missed my morning flight - overslept(i knew i'd better not buy morning tickets due to the possibility of oversleeping, well i was absolutely right😊)had to buy new tickets, cause there was no exchange policy,and almost missed that flight too - got to check-in desk in 1 second(i kid you not) before the checking in was closed. 😅
to be fair you weren't fully informed on prosedure
It would be great to see the rest of the podcast. Where is it available?
I didn't get diagnosed until my mid-30s. However, when I was 20 I had a flight at 6AM and I knew I wasn't going to make it if I tried being "normal", so I went to the airport the night before and stayed there all night. Airports are spooky at night! Anyway, if I'd known I had ADHD I'd have felt better about it or would've known a better way but c'est la vie.
I've been physically in a train station and missed the same journey 4 times in a row. 😅
I have also missed 2 flights in my life due to time blindbess & lack of direction.
I’ve done this!!! In Dallas if I remember right. It was on a layover and I missed the connecting flight cause the first flight was delayed, so that one wasn’t my fault. But they booked me on the next flight so I sat at a bar and read a book and just got lost in thought I guess. Completely missed that one too. Went back to the desk and was just like…. “Um…. Iiii…. I’m so sorry but I missed it” and tbh, my memory has blocked out how I got on another flight. I do think they were kind to me, but I was so humiliated I dissociated.
Next thing I remember is an old customer saying, “Hey look who it is! What are the odds we’re on the same flight!”
Feeling relief at not being the only person to make the same mistake, unfortunately I had to buy another ticket.
I didn't think I was stupid. I thought I was suffering from early onset dementia.
I have the same problem. I mix up boarding times and such. I wander off thinking I have enough time, etc.. I have gotten much better though.
You're okay, though I'm sure you know that. It's just the stress of it. It's possible someone would catch it, but I don't think it should be expected. People forget to remind people that are new to situations about things and it ends up feeling like all our fault, when it isn't.
So today I skipped my medication bc I didn’t have anything pressing to do. I was pulling into a parking lot towards a taco bueno to grab a bite since I hadn’t eaten all day. Some random thought popped into my mind and I turned straight into a ditch. Terribly cold drizzly, nasty weather. I waited two hours for a tow truck, while thoroughly beating myself up, and coming up with a reasonable story to tell everyone to cover my stupidity. Inattentiveness is one of my biggest problems. Those pop-in thoughts are so detrimental.
I almost missed one recently and I was in the airport. To be fair they had so many delays that day that I stopped checking, assuming the app would tell me when it was boarding. Well that didn't happen and suddenly I was being paged and had to RUN. They made me run all the way down the gang plank. Luckily when I got to the plane the stewardess there said "stop running! Breathe, why are you running? there are many people still getting settled" She was very irritated to find out that they had made me run the whole way, once I was clearly there. She brought me extra water. But in the meantime, I felt really stupid as every eye was on me for most of this process...
I'm at the airport right now, and thank goodness this video popped up in my notifications lol 😅
Omg I did this VERY SAME THING with my two daughters who were 12 and 2 years old 😱
I was crying too and this super nice lady bought us a hotel room and baby formula (forgot that too) 🤦🏼♀️
I missed a bus which I was waiting for. It was right in front of me. But I was bored some minutes before, so I called my mom. Talked about cool stuff so the bus drove away without me. At first I didn't got what happened. Thought the bus was too late.😂
I did this exact same thing. Missed a flight being late, missed the next one already being in the airport. Friend was waiting to pick me up at destination. There is just so explaining that can help someone understand who doesn't have ADHD. It makes you feel like the worst most inconsiderate stupid person in the world, which isn't true but you don't have control over it or how people view it.
I've found the cure to ADD time blindness. Significant anxiety regarding being late. This way my ADD does the exact opposite. I show up early because my mind cannot stop ruminating on not being late. I get so antsy and hyper focused I don't know what else to do with myself and I end up being stupidly early and attached to the location I need to be.
Happy new year, and happy new flight booking :)
If I am traveling alone, I am more often five hours early. Better safe than sorry
I hope everyone with severe adhd finds peace and happiness within themselves and love and understanding for themselves. It's not your fault. Just try to play the hand you've been dealt to the best of your ability, keep your sense of humor, and above all know you are being protected by the higher powers that be, things happen for a reason. Maybe you were meant to NOT fly out on those flights. Only God knows. Xx
I once forgot my passport in the Hong Kong airport bathroom. Luckily the cleaner found it and gave it in at the terminal😅
I have never done this with a plane but I did it with the bus, I literally got distracted on Facebook and didn't notice it turn up and noticed when I turned around and saw the back of it leaving the bus station
This has happened to me. Missed my flight and then missed my 2nd new flight too. 😭
I missed the same flight 3 times in a row while being at the airport the whole time!
Thankfully this is not an experience I've had yet. Perhaps some credit is due to the many years of my early childhood spent flying on planes with parents that were very competent travelers. I always err on the side of overestimating how early I need to be at the airport for fear of getting there too late.
SIDE NOTE: You know when you're watching Unsolved Mysteries then supper comes along so you HAVE to watch Spongebob while eating then back to Unsolved Mysteries??!!
That doesn't sound like ADHD, it sounds like somebody didn't do their job properly by not communicating that fact to you.
Happened to me 2 🤣🤣🤣. No worries
How can we manage this, please 🥺 I need advice
They should have told you, not your fault you didn’t think to ask. Who would? I feel like this could have almost as easily happened to a neurotypical person. But as ADHD fosters perfectionism and emotional dysregulation, I can understand why you blamed yourself and became very upset. I would have too 100%
Oh that sucks so hard. I’m sure I would’ve just left the airport I’d dread it so much.
All these people pretending to have ADHD. Doctors are over diagnosing everything nowadays.
Oh, look.. we have a Dr in the house
Curious about how it is inside one ADHD torture chamber of a mind?!
Spin around in a circle, til u fall over- that discombobulation (not the dizziness) you feel, those few min, are what it’s like inside this brain, 24/7. 🕊️
I mean if they didn’t give you all the info that’s on them 🤷🏻♂️
This has literally happened to me. 😅.
But nobody told her! 😢❤ How is that got anything to do with adhd?
Missing your second flight wasnt your fault though don't put yourself down for that
Yeah. I've done that.
Oh no! I'm sorry you had to experience that. But to be fair it wasn't only your fault - nobody told you!
That doesn't count. No way. You were ON TIME according to the incomplete information they gave you.
It still sucks though because I know it hits harder anyway... Just because that kind of thing happens all the time to us.
Well, you know you might not have heard them tell you you had to go through early because you were just feeling so relieved to get another chance. It's not really fair to say no one told me. I always say, I didn't hear anyone tell me. I mean who really knows.
❤
adhd is autism on ez mode
How mortifying 😮
I've done this😂
To be fair... LA is horribly set up and Heathrow has one of the most idiotic notification and boarding set ups I've ever seen
To me, he often looks lowkey srsly pissed with her, in every vid🤔
Honestly you didn’t know and was instructed so how could you know that you was meant to be there an hour before. You’re not stupid at all!
To me this is just a woman who w doesn’t want to deal with accountability at all. To be honest with you I’m impressed how she’s getting away with everything. However highly disappointed that she’s using a true problem people actually deal with.