Yes 😢you are correct!! My feelings were so hurt because he didn't want anyone to know. But I finally broke it off, due to his inconsistencies. 👋 I want to thank you for standing up for women everywhere.
Don't Mind & Feel Soo Broken.. Coz, U've Done A Grt Favour On Urself That U Dodged The Bullet & Saved Urself Frm Any Harm In Future..! Stay Safe Frm The Street Dogs Until U're Getting Ur 💯% Reliable Pet..😊
As a therapist, having boundaries that follow with consequences you follow through on are great. Unfortunately, that means sometimes the consequence is you have to leave.
I agree, 100% and when they don’t put you on their social media says either one they don’t want anybody to know they’re with you or even worse they are embarrassed of you.
I see these type posts all the time. Had me going into paranoia like let me look at his family members phones just to see if I was that only option where only I could see that I was with him. 😒 tbh I think if anyone wants to cheat, they will. There's more than 1 type of social media platform to do sneaking around to. You can get free numbers, disappearing in an instant convos, private convos,,, but I always felt like if I had to hound him that much, then i didn't know what I was doing w/ him. 1 of his greatest defenses was I deleted Facebook for you!... & I guess for a bit he did. While I kept all mine... Not that I'm the usual suspect. But someone can still post u and still embarass the hell outta you. Idkw ppl come up w/ certain things tho. Somexs ppl really r that private, wth. When we split, well, I somehow lost my account anyways. Deleted all his pics & didn't update crap. I had everyone I should've blocked since early on. Then I blocked him. I wouldn't doubt some frenemys look up all my accounts to see what's up. But wrong route. They'll get a hint, at most. They still won't really know what I'm up to tho. So in the same sense of protecting my sanity, I do think ppl should protect their privacy. Yeah I fell into entertaining it but I didn't post alot either. And he did get to a pt of using it less but that's besides my pt. Not posting someone isn't always a red flag. But if his personality is contrasting from like the more reserved type, yeah, id question it a little more. & to this day, only 1 guy has my nudes. & it was never my ex "husband." But that's OK tho bc I had that dudes nudes too. Which he somehow managed to dig through. From like closer to a decade ago. I remember looking through his stuff, & he didn't want to delete his exs. 1 the most bc he lived w/ her family... so pretty much, always loved being a mooch. Anyways, kind of funny how they don't take pics w/ each other & they're in r.ships w/ themselves. . But her trying to act like they're doing the normal thing is like awww how sweet. He sent u a pic of him walking down the st from the slums. A place he thought was OK to raise our baby. But yeah, stay excited. It's not arrogant or me too highly thinking of myself. If daddy has cameras & u got 2 kids at 21, still living w/ him, prob not f up some more? As far as him, at least he gets to keep a safe distance. That way he can lie more than he already does. He's that addictive type
@ArtAbsurdist My ex-covert narc husband did this. I ended up divorcing him for numerous reasons. He was also a serial cheater. Upon reflection, my first red flag was when he said that all his Exes were crazy; but, he was friends with them as they had kids together. We have a child together too and after our divorce he tried to remain friends with me (friends w/benefits). I told him we were not friends, we were co-parents. He didn't like that. But, after I enforced my boundaries, he had to abide by it. He treats me more respectfully now (at least to my face) than he did when we were married. I'm sure the other shoe will drop soon.
Depends on the relationship, i think the relationship is getting serious a man should definitely share the status. But your going on dates and getting to know each other it's not a big deal. It is definitely something you should discuss with the person your dating.
So true! It's nice to hear a man say this out loud! I knew guys don't post because they're keeping their options open and appear to be single, single, but yet they expect their girl to show she is taken. Yup!
I agree...you don't deserve that. My friend was once someone's secret. I told her that her situation (metaphorically) was like him sitting at the table of life with his wife eating...then he would chew up the food in his mouth, place it into his hand and pass it secretly under the table to her, to feed his secret who's sitting under the table. He was using and disrespecting both you and his wife. He treated you like a second-class citizen. Neither his wife or you deserved that. At first being a special secret seems exciting and fun, until you realize that he's the only one benefitting from the situation. I'm confident you are a wonderful person and you deserve to be the Queen at the table of your relationship. You are worthy.
@@BCarinio Thank you. In my case there was no wife. I was a "secret" in that I was in a FWB situation where no one knew of my existence including his friends or family, but that is ALSO very disrespecting. I was niave. I believed the "friendship " part would turn into something more until I realized we were not really even friends. Lesson learned. I hope someone reading this will benefit from my miscalculation.
I was married for 6 years. We had a child together too. I changed my relationship status, which I had never done. He left it pending for 6 years. He said he was never on social media. I tried to check out his friends list, but he had his profile set not to show his friends. Then, I changed my relationship status to "it's complicated." I guess he was on social media to see that. I divorced him. Now, I have been single for 3 years. I am healing and holding out for the right man.
Is that true? Everything is a tool. The tool in itself is not evil. It is the man or woman behind it that directs it. A knife can be used to violantly kill or to surgically save or simply just cut food up. There are many, like the wonderful man posting this video on social media who inspire me and whome I celebrate.
@@dylancag977 I think the key words here are, “A lot.” Of course SM in it of a itself is fine, but if you’re on it too much, can be considered major red flag. Hell, working certain jobs is considered a red flag. Because someone could say, “Well, influencers have to use SM for business.” Well, some people think being an influencer is a red flag too. 🤷♀️
Every partner who had social media that refused to acknowledge or only briefly mentioned me as a partner ended up being ambivalent about the relationship or ashamed it was me. It's one thing to keep the details of your relationship private, but it's another to not acknowledge it at all or pretend you don't have one. If you feel like you're being hidden at all and it's a serious relationship, ask yourself why. This doesn't just apply to social media.
I agree, I feel like why not? Why wouldn't you want to post such an important relationship just like we post friends...you don't have to tell your whole life with your person but let people know your taken 😊 Thankyou for being a blessing of a man ..God bless you
I don't post anything personal or important to me because it's my way of protecting. An enemy doesn't know what to target if they don't have information. There's a saying, "If you love it, keep it private." I live by this. Besides, my actual family and friends know of my marriage and celebrations because they're around me. They actually participate in the celebrations. But the general public? Nah. Not your business!🩷
I completely agree!! My ex told me that he did not want to be FB friends because that was my private stuff....what?? A month later I was abruptly discarded after he told me he never felt this way about anyone and on and on for a girl/coworker 24 years younger than him. Huge red flag!
he did this to me!!! even tho he introduced me to his family but never updated his status even after 2 yrs of dating! don’t let nobody hide u! he still had photos of his ex that he had from travelling in college… but not me!
I have been watching your 30 second powerful snippets for a while now and am still a huge fan. So glad you got a bigger gig! Keep telling the truth on how much you love us women, and how to be a better person and have healthy relationships. Thanks so much for your wisdom and encouragement.
This happened to me. He refused to mention me anywhere on his platform. Yet he posted pics of meals we ate at restaurants that I paid for most of the time but never mentioned he was out with me. He just posted the food. Women were always flirting with him on there. This and other red flags eventually told me that I was caught up in nothing but a dead end situationship for months while he played around on the side. 😢 He told me in so many words I wasn't good enough for him , his family or his social circle. The most confusing part was he let me get attached to his young son but all the while he had no intention of anything more with me.Horrible lonely experience. I miss the baby most of all.😢😢 He was emotionally and verbally abusive so I guess I dodged a bullet.
You did dodge that bullet you were a babysitter, maid , cook, & taken for granted from that loser. Not your fault. You did what you felt & what h e made you believe. I know it happened to me but ,I left that taker real quick. Your are a beautiful woman & are a beautiful soul. Go live your best life for you only..your way for you dear lady. .I dony know you,but I'm just trying to lift you up . Much hugs & prayers you find your peace..May God always let you know you are deserving of the life you deserve. God bless..🎉❤😊😊😊😊😊
You are so refreshing! You come from Love and Human respect. Too much negativity (Pearl) only breeds animosity. We all need each other so keep up you're great work!!
Gotta love those couples that fight on social media.thats sad.i don't believe in downgrading anyone.if it gets to that point and yall can't TALK IT OUT IN PRIVATE "NOT FOR THE WORLD TO SEE" THEN END IT...relationships aren't that complicated if your in a HEALTHY ONE...good job chris.❤
YOU ARE AN AWESOME WOMEN'S ADVOCATE!! I have been in a relationship with a narcissist for over 7 years and NOBODY even knows about ME!! It's heartbreaking to feel the one you love is ashamed of you.
They like their privacy because they don't want people on dating apps to know they are not single. If a person is on social media, they clearly don't have an issue with privacy, but suddenly they value privacy when it comes to people knowing you are in a relationship? Boy no....
Sadly, you are right again. I've been married 19 1/2 years. I just started social media posting 4 years ago (for my business). Husband has been on social media a lot longer. NEVER posted a picture of me. Selfies, yes! The kids, yes! Nature, yes! Reposts, yes! I didn't really think much of it until he posted on Facebook that another (married) woman's smile was beautiful. And since he follows me, of course, it popped up on my page. That's when his affair was discovered, and his whole lie started unraveling. I'm done!
So so true. I was with somebody for four years and would never post me. And I wasn't allowed to have any social media. He told me it was just about his boys. I broke it off it was the best decision I ever made.
I agree, we finally broke up after 4vyears. He never posted our relationship on Facebook, but I found out he was friends with all kinds of women . I finally ended it . Just so many red flags but when I saw all the women, who most I don't even think there real lol, I had to end the relationship
I agree for the most part but some of us women don't like being posted on any social media. We prefer to stay out of pictures and definitely not posted. It's a personal choice. Thank you Mr. Perry for all you do and blessings to you and your family. 💜💜
When i was in a horrible relationship i took a picture of him , he told me not to post him on social media, that was the start of me learning, he's out of my life now ,he wanted to be friends, nope your a stranger now ,am so grateful i learnt too be on my own, love it ..
No one is saying post every little thing that happens in your relationship but there shouldn’t be an issue to post a photo of the one you claim to love on your profile. Are you ashamed of them? If you’re married or in a committed relationship with someone that should be evident! Period.
💯💯💯💯👌 thank you so much truth. It's like you're saying what I'm thinking to myself. Good to know i was in the right track with my thoughts/feelings! Validation✨
Chris, where have you been..your old school but current. Honorable like clean, true before God & man... God bless you lil Bro... keep preaching real love relationships. Today it's so squirrly corrupt.. People dont know what true love looks like-not even in the church... God bless you, PRAYER OUT!
I agree 💯 percent. It should be simple. If you are with someone and have good intentions you won't mind posting them. When people start complicating it there is usually something wrong.
I was with someone for 15 years and he never posted me finally found the courage to leave I been 3 years free and. Beyond proud of myself And never will I settle for this ever again amen 🙏 !!!!
I feel the exact same way, thank you for your complete honesty, people should post their lover on social media, what are you hiding? you know social media/FB is a dating site too, not posting your spouse is definitely a problem ‼️💯‼️
That's so true Trent. It's the reason I walked away. I was the secret he never told anyone about. I appreciate all of your advice. I was Blessed the day I started listening to you. V😊😊
Marilyn A. God bless you Brother for posting this. This is so true and I agree with all the words you share on I know that we need to hear words of encouragement when we're going through it. God bless you all who are reading this. May he continue to bless everyone and give you the strength to come out stronger. 🖐️🙏
If a man in a relationship truly loves his woman ! He would be proud too post her and show her off too the world ! If you are not cheating on her and truly committed too just her than you would show her off too the world ! The only reason you would not is that you are cheating on her behind her back trying too keep it on the down low or be sneaky because you don't want your other hook ups too find out your in a relationship and see her ! My man as much as I love him is guilty of this and it really hurts me and causes a lot of unnecessary stress and friction in our relationship not too mention it is 100% disrespectful and wrong too your partner who has been nothing but loving and faithful ! I agree with this video 100% 🧔🌹😭
3years invested in a man I paid for things, I allowed him to live with me, treated him as a king. He hid me from day one.never letting someone do that again
Nall Im just talking I don't get caught up in all that posting cause you really ain't got nothing to prove. And he might not just see you in that way. I don't know just looking at glass half full.
Just got ghosted after an argument and watch your videos! Ty it’s helped me a lot, I have been off of social media for years and just got back on and found there are pics of him and his family but none of me and him.. so I know now, I was just an option.. thanks for being things to light. Moving on!!!
Your absolutely right! Chris! I've been following you on video and I like the way you say things!,and you make alot a sence! I thankyou for you to be on air! Guys should tune in to your hearing absolutely 😊, and I thankyou
That is exactly what I think . The reason some people don't walk away from a situation like this is because they don't see their own value and actions like this only adds to her low self esteem creating feelings of unworthy of love
So glad I stumbled upon your channel. Everything you say is straight up facts, no doubt about it. This is another one that hit home. At the time He never mentioned our relationship on his media. Here’s a prime example, he had been speaking with a “family friend” on line the duration of our relationship. 2 years go by and I never knew about her until he mentioned she was coming into town and he’d like for me to meet her. I was baffled as I never heard of this person. I never knew about her and she never knew about me. He felt he never thought of bringing it up because it was never brought up while they were chatting on social media. She had been divorced and had lost a family member, now tell me something…. Is this a case of a vulnerable meet up? Think of the attention this person was seeking. And how awkward it would have been for her for me to join them as a 3rd wheel to their meet up. Like who does that? Once I approached him about it of course he got defensive and was pissed at me because she was a family friend. If they do not share you on their social media as being happily involved with, this kind of crap is going on behind everyone’s back. Unfortunately I had fallen victim of it, and since then I have a huge problem with media profiles. Only thing I have is Pinterest for home ideas and TH-cam for watching the news and getting a better idea on how to deal with Narcissistic abuse. And the funny stuff. Everyone is too quick to hit a person up via media and only for one dirty reason. Anyways, long story short… glad I found Chris on here, he’s a real man who speaks truth 100 percent of the
Thank you so much,you be on point, you really do understand, I love everything you post , I thought I was by myself on the things you post. You make us as women to open up our minds to what we have and really don't have in a relationship.
Soo true. I dont really do social media, FB etc . I was in a relationship and I put a foto of us up on what's app and he never liked it and he never put a foto of us up . As u said , he wanted to keep he options open
I'm glad I don't have social media so he can't force me to post and I don't force him...its not a factor for us. But family, friends, and Co workers know we are in a relationship
Heck yeah! I was in one which turned out to be one of the bitter experiences of life He would never post me, like ever. We were living together!! Anytime I talked about it turned into a major disagreement session. Often transitioning into meltdown. Obviously, I ended the thing. I haven't looked back to process grief yet. Come to think of it, there have been red flags since the beginning, what was I thinking. The third year of our affair was when I started calling his behaviour out & the following year was like a nightmare. I am surprised I took all this for what!!! We talked about the differences and my disappointments at length. I don't think there's anything I need to revisit to recalibrate. It was some experience. You're absolutely right. Why would you hide a woman! Like why? If one is ashamed or embarrassed, they must stay away from us!! Perhaps, there must exist a boundary and all women ought to follow - if someone is hiding you, he is not for you ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Sending wishes for you, dearest one ❤
Readolivia@...Sorry to hear 😞 you went through all that to learn and grow. I hope this difficult experience worked and made you learn the important lesson and made you realise how beautiful and strong you are, made you wiser and Most Important, that brought you closer to God. ...❤ You and admire you! 😅...
@@esterriesparabe Thank you for your kind words. It was a massive learning experience. I came aware of my strengths and qualities I didn't know about. Also the childhood trauma bit came out. In a strange way, it helped me. We met in July. He was upset, clearly. There's no going back, of course. Any lady out there, if you're in doubt, listen to your instincts. More often than not, it's saying something. Sending everyone peace and serenity 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀
This is late but honestly…why do y’all care to be posted so much lol? Like social media is not life. I think it’s perfectly fine to be private on social media. What if I barely post on there
@@123beserk It isn't about Social Media. If you're in a relationship, you don't hide the lady/man. Besides, it's my perspective & you are entitled to yours. You don't agree with mine is your choice as much as it is mine to not offer you my reasons for my understanding. Clearly, if you resonated with my understanding, you wouldn't have been asking or posting "lols". Seems you haven't been betrayed, cheated, abused or misused. Good for you! Of course, exploit the lady, her resources, energy, & wealth... Post & show off all about what you enjoy from her & don't ever declare her... maybe I should understand why you're questioning my annoyance over his misbehavior. Took me a while but I understood. "LOL" Do you realise, you are in no position to question my understanding & life choices? Peace ♥️
This guy is a different breed.....God bless you my brother. May your life continues to be filled with love truth from above. You are such a beautiful soul. Happy to find you here. There's hope for tomorrow cos of you brother
♥️🌼 This is something I always appreciated about my older brother. He wanted others to know who his person was. He didn't care what others thought.( Thank you for that memory🙏🧡.)
They don't post their true relationship status because they are not proud and truly love their partner.They are not committed because they are not happy, not contented and not serious. Many of them just want an open relationships to have more time to play around with low value chicks which is disgusting. 🤨
Thank you Chris that is so true people who hide their relationship and how he is doing other things I thank God for you expressing to help women's out and I only women's men as well but you're right about people being secret about their relationships special when people tell you they love you and they care for you and you mean the world to them❤
I think you are such an Amazing man to speak the truth!!!! Why are all the Great ones taken!!!! Dont wry abt these haters because you are truly one of a kind and im sending you and your family lots of love from N.C.!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤
Social media actually ruins alot of relationships.... if you post anything about your partner be careful and selective about what you post... the whole world doesn't need to be in all your business
Hello Sir, absolutely. Everyone should know that I have a wife and I love her dearly. However, as always. A relationship or marriage is not a one way street. Red flags exist with women as well as men. You are blessed
Married 12 years, we had both "apparently" been off social media, but i find out,it was only me. Hes now shacked up with his coworker (5 months) still married to be & im damn grateful im NOT on social media for all the stroking of egos. When their phone goes silent and they have a pass code, save yourself some time and leave they ass behind. Cheaters & Narcissist are Rampant
WHAT YOU JUST SAID MAKES DERN GOOD SENSE TO ME- WHY WOULDN'T THEY?- TO KEEP OPTIONS OPEN I GUESS LIKE YOU SAID, NOT TRULY COMMITTED. BECAUSE HE'S PROUD TO HAVE HER, LOVE IT- SO TRUE- I AGREE
My former bf never posted about me for the very reasons you listed. He was being dishonest and unfaithful.
Are y’all with me on this⁉️🤔
Drop a 💯 if you agree.
I can see you posting if she your woman yea. If she is not don't post her
You're draining the narcissist swamp🎯💣🎤👑
Some people don't care about posting pictures I mean it's cool but I mean if u Know what it is with y'all then don't freight about it.
I mean just cause he is not posting doesn't mean he doesn't care
@@latashahumphrey769 Facts
Yes 😢you are correct!! My feelings were so hurt because he didn't want anyone to know. But I finally broke it off, due to his inconsistencies. 👋 I want to thank you for standing up for women everywhere.
❤❤❤
Don't Mind & Feel Soo Broken.. Coz, U've Done A Grt Favour On Urself That U Dodged The Bullet & Saved Urself Frm Any Harm In Future..!
Stay Safe Frm The Street Dogs Until U're Getting Ur 💯% Reliable Pet..😊
As a therapist, having boundaries that follow with consequences you follow through on are great. Unfortunately, that means sometimes the consequence is you have to leave.
True 100%
Hey
I agree, 100% and when they don’t put you on their social media says either one they don’t want anybody to know they’re with you or even worse they are embarrassed of you.
💯. Even after marriage he never posted me or anything about our relationship. He refused, too. This is TRUTH. 💯
I see these type posts all the time. Had me going into paranoia like let me look at his family members phones just to see if I was that only option where only I could see that I was with him. 😒 tbh I think if anyone wants to cheat, they will. There's more than 1 type of social media platform to do sneaking around to. You can get free numbers, disappearing in an instant convos, private convos,,, but I always felt like if I had to hound him that much, then i didn't know what I was doing w/ him. 1 of his greatest defenses was I deleted Facebook for you!... & I guess for a bit he did. While I kept all mine... Not that I'm the usual suspect. But someone can still post u and still embarass the hell outta you. Idkw ppl come up w/ certain things tho. Somexs ppl really r that private, wth. When we split, well, I somehow lost my account anyways. Deleted all his pics & didn't update crap. I had everyone I should've blocked since early on. Then I blocked him. I wouldn't doubt some frenemys look up all my accounts to see what's up. But wrong route. They'll get a hint, at most. They still won't really know what I'm up to tho. So in the same sense of protecting my sanity, I do think ppl should protect their privacy. Yeah I fell into entertaining it but I didn't post alot either. And he did get to a pt of using it less but that's besides my pt. Not posting someone isn't always a red flag. But if his personality is contrasting from like the more reserved type, yeah, id question it a little more. & to this day, only 1 guy has my nudes. & it was never my ex "husband." But that's OK tho bc I had that dudes nudes too. Which he somehow managed to dig through. From like closer to a decade ago. I remember looking through his stuff, & he didn't want to delete his exs. 1 the most bc he lived w/ her family... so pretty much, always loved being a mooch. Anyways, kind of funny how they don't take pics w/ each other & they're in r.ships w/ themselves. . But her trying to act like they're doing the normal thing is like awww how sweet. He sent u a pic of him walking down the st from the slums. A place he thought was OK to raise our baby. But yeah, stay excited. It's not arrogant or me too highly thinking of myself. If daddy has cameras & u got 2 kids at 21, still living w/ him, prob not f up some more? As far as him, at least he gets to keep a safe distance. That way he can lie more than he already does. He's that addictive type
I'm really sorry about everything❤❤❤
He was cheating on you then, chances are he had at least one long term affair
@ArtAbsurdist My ex-covert narc husband did this. I ended up divorcing him for numerous reasons. He was also a serial cheater. Upon reflection, my first red flag was when he said that all his Exes were crazy; but, he was friends with them as they had kids together. We have a child together too and after our divorce he tried to remain friends with me (friends w/benefits). I told him we were not friends, we were co-parents. He didn't like that. But, after I enforced my boundaries, he had to abide by it. He treats me more respectfully now (at least to my face) than he did when we were married. I'm sure the other shoe will drop soon.
I love this guy. What a blessing he is to humanity. 👏🏼🙏🏼
Same 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤️👍🏼💪🏼
This guy is a sucker and a fraud
🙏
Constantly telling women what they want to hear. What else is new.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Social media ruins so many relationships though😢
It’s designed that way.
Social media is toxic.
No. An unhealthy, untrusting, non solid relationship does that
I agree social media ruins to many relationships, not all of them, but most of them.
This is why I deleted my social media to avoid anything
Depends on the relationship, i think the relationship is getting serious a man should definitely share the status. But your going on dates and getting to know each other it's not a big deal. It is definitely something you should discuss with the person your dating.
If you have a girlfriend, she is very blessed to have you. I’m sure you have a mom who has raised you right.
My husband of 19 yrs post all the time but never me. You are absolutely right this is where he do most of his cheating.
Why are you still with him?
Every time you speak, I hear nothing but truth and wisdom. How blessed your woman must be to have a man like you!
It's hard to find a man that speaks the truth and is not ashamed. God Bless❤️
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Another red flag is him not even accepting your friend request on social media.
Completely stupid for either of you to be on social media.
Cierto 👍🏼
Damn yall really do love corny 🥷🏿s
YOU GOT THAT S---- RIGHT, PROUD TO HAVE HER
So true! It's nice to hear a man say this out loud! I knew guys don't post because they're keeping their options open and appear to be single, single, but yet they expect their girl to show she is taken. Yup!
I was someone's "secret" once. Never again! Im worth more even on my own than dealing with that crap!
I agree...you don't deserve that. My friend was once someone's secret. I told her that her situation (metaphorically) was like him sitting at the table of life with his wife eating...then he would chew up the food in his mouth, place it into his hand and pass it secretly under the table to her, to feed his secret who's sitting under the table. He was using and disrespecting both you and his wife. He treated you like a second-class citizen. Neither his wife or you deserved that. At first being a special secret seems exciting and fun, until you realize that he's the only one benefitting from the situation. I'm confident you are a wonderful person and you deserve to be the Queen at the table of your relationship. You are worthy.
@@BCarinio Thank you. In my case there was no wife. I was a "secret" in that I was in a FWB situation where no one knew of my existence including his friends or family, but that is ALSO very disrespecting. I was niave. I believed the "friendship " part would turn into something more until I realized we were not really even friends. Lesson learned. I hope someone reading this will benefit from my miscalculation.
I was married for 6 years. We had a child together too. I changed my relationship status, which I had never done. He left it pending for 6 years. He said he was never on social media. I tried to check out his friends list, but he had his profile set not to show his friends. Then, I changed my relationship status to "it's complicated." I guess he was on social media to see that. I divorced him.
Now, I have been single for 3 years. I am healing and holding out for the right man.
Good
Good luck and God bless
Being on any social media is a red flag. Smarten up!!! Why does anyone need validation from outside of family
Guess what you made a mistake and in time you will wish you hadn't made it.
I like your advice especially when you said to "give to God all the brokenness of our partners,our loved ones."Keepup on your Godly masculinity.❤
Being on social media a lot is a major red flag in itself
Is that true? Everything is a tool. The tool in itself is not evil. It is the man or woman behind it that directs it. A knife can be used to violantly kill or to surgically save or simply just cut food up. There are many, like the wonderful man posting this video on social media who inspire me and whome I celebrate.
I use it for business purposes
Damn straight! Soo many clowns on every level!
@@dylancag977 I think the key words here are, “A lot.”
Of course SM in it of a itself is fine, but if you’re on it too much, can be considered major red flag.
Hell, working certain jobs is considered a red flag.
Because someone could say, “Well, influencers have to use SM for business.” Well, some people think being an influencer is a red flag too.
🤷♀️
@@dylancag977nah, it's a red flag. You need Facebook for what? Validation. Meaning you're not the man for me.
Every partner who had social media that refused to acknowledge or only briefly mentioned me as a partner ended up being ambivalent about the relationship or ashamed it was me. It's one thing to keep the details of your relationship private, but it's another to not acknowledge it at all or pretend you don't have one. If you feel like you're being hidden at all and it's a serious relationship, ask yourself why. This doesn't just apply to social media.
Yes.. they don't want other women to know.. because they are afraid to lose them
I agree, I feel like why not? Why wouldn't you want to post such an important relationship just like we post friends...you don't have to tell your whole life with your person but let people know your taken 😊
Thankyou for being a blessing of a man ..God bless you
I don't post anything personal or important to me because it's my way of protecting.
An enemy doesn't know what to target if they don't have information.
There's a saying, "If you love it, keep it private."
I live by this.
Besides, my actual family and friends know of my marriage and celebrations because they're around me. They actually participate in the celebrations.
But the general public? Nah. Not your business!🩷
I completely agree!! My ex told me that he did not want to be FB friends because that was my private stuff....what?? A month later I was abruptly discarded after he told me he never felt this way about anyone and on and on for a girl/coworker 24 years younger than him. Huge red flag!
he did this to me!!! even tho he introduced me to his family but never updated his status even after 2 yrs of dating! don’t let nobody hide u!
he still had photos of his ex that he had from travelling in college… but not me!
You are very good! Gives me hope in this world that there is deep Wisdom from a young man bearing the truth. Really well done!
Life was way better before social media.
I have been watching your 30 second powerful snippets for a while now and am still a huge fan. So glad you got a bigger gig! Keep telling the truth on how much you love us women, and how to be a better person and have healthy relationships. Thanks so much for your wisdom and encouragement.
This happened to me. He refused to mention me anywhere on his platform. Yet he posted pics of meals we ate at restaurants that I paid for most of the time but never mentioned he was out with me. He just posted the food. Women were always flirting with him on there. This and other red flags eventually told me that I was caught up in nothing but a dead end situationship for months while he played around on the side. 😢 He told me in so many words I wasn't good enough for him , his family or his social circle. The most confusing part was he let me get attached to his young son but all the while he had no intention of anything more with me.Horrible lonely experience. I miss the baby most of all.😢😢 He was emotionally and verbally abusive so I guess I dodged a bullet.
You did dodge that bullet you were a babysitter, maid , cook, & taken for granted from that loser. Not your fault. You did what you felt & what h e made you believe. I know it happened to me but ,I left that taker real quick. Your are a beautiful woman & are a beautiful soul. Go live your best life for you only..your way for you dear lady. .I dony know you,but I'm just trying to lift you up . Much hugs & prayers you find your peace..May God always let you know you are deserving of the life you deserve. God bless..🎉❤😊😊😊😊😊
@@sweetiehogg7249 Thank you
You are so refreshing! You come from Love and Human respect. Too much negativity (Pearl) only breeds animosity. We all need each other so keep up you're great work!!
Agreed. That shit is not found, its bred.
Gotta love those couples that fight on social media.thats sad.i don't believe in downgrading anyone.if it gets to that point and yall can't TALK IT OUT IN PRIVATE "NOT FOR THE WORLD TO SEE" THEN END IT...relationships aren't that complicated if your in a HEALTHY ONE...good job chris.❤
Absolutely true words spoken! Definitely agree with you totally!
Thank you for sharing. Amen
I love this !!!!! Nothing but the truth 💯
YOU ARE AN AWESOME WOMEN'S ADVOCATE!!
I have been in a relationship with a narcissist for over 7 years and NOBODY even knows about ME!! It's heartbreaking to feel the one you love is ashamed of you.
I don't think he is ashamed I think he does not want people see you shine more than him or because he wants to have open market to cheat.
Narcissists are 100% evil. They only live for themselves.
If your boundaries are low and few...
Totally agree with you bro...people just want to keep their options OPEN now
They like their privacy because they don't want people on dating apps to know they are not single. If a person is on social media, they clearly don't have an issue with privacy, but suddenly they value privacy when it comes to people knowing you are in a relationship? Boy no....
Exactly 😂
Sadly, you are right again.
I've been married 19 1/2 years. I just started social media posting 4 years ago (for my business). Husband has been on social media a lot longer. NEVER posted a picture of me. Selfies, yes! The kids, yes! Nature, yes! Reposts, yes! I didn't really think much of it until he posted on Facebook that another (married) woman's smile was beautiful. And since he follows me, of course, it popped up on my page. That's when his affair was discovered, and his whole lie started unraveling. I'm done!
Wowww
So so true. I was with somebody for four years and would never post me. And I wasn't allowed to have any social media. He told me it was just about his boys. I broke it off it was the best decision I ever made.
You werent allowed??? Ugh...you are the boss of you...nobody else❤❤❤❤
What do I think?? I think YOU are extremely intelligent and tapped in, sir. God bless you & the lives you touch 🙏🏼
Amen❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I agree, we finally broke up after 4vyears. He never posted our relationship on Facebook, but I found out he was friends with all kinds of women . I finally ended it . Just so many red flags but when I saw all the women, who most I don't even think there real lol, I had to end the relationship
Good riddens babe
I agree for the most part but some of us women don't like being posted on any social media. We prefer to stay out of pictures and definitely not posted. It's a personal choice. Thank you Mr. Perry for all you do and blessings to you and your family. 💜💜
You are exactly right! I’m so glad someone other than myself feels this way! Thank you for addressing this! 🙂
When i was in a horrible relationship i took a picture of him , he told me not to post him on social media, that was the start of me learning, he's out of my life now ,he wanted to be friends, nope your a stranger now ,am so grateful i learnt too be on my own, love it ..
No one is saying post every little thing that happens in your relationship but there shouldn’t be an issue to post a photo of the one you claim to love on your profile. Are you ashamed of them?
If you’re married or in a committed relationship with someone that should be evident! Period.
💯💯💯💯👌 thank you so much truth. It's like you're saying what I'm thinking to myself. Good to know i was in the right track with my thoughts/feelings! Validation✨
Chris, where have you been..your old school but current. Honorable like clean, true before God & man... God bless you lil Bro... keep preaching real love relationships. Today it's so squirrly corrupt.. People dont know what true love looks like-not even in the church... God bless you, PRAYER OUT!
Your videos are the one thing helping me understand I'm not crazy. And I need this right now.
Thank you.
Exactly, people are just shady, and it's very hard to trust.
I agree 💯 percent. It should be simple. If you are with someone and have good intentions you won't mind posting them. When people start complicating it there is usually something wrong.
No picks. Just mention in a committed relationship and not looking.
Social media nowadays
I was with someone for 15 years and he never posted me finally found the courage to leave I been 3 years free and. Beyond proud of myself
And never will I settle for this ever again amen 🙏 !!!!
I feel the exact same way, thank you for your complete honesty, people should post their lover on social media, what are you hiding? you know social media/FB is a dating site too, not posting your spouse is definitely a problem ‼️💯‼️
That's so true Trent. It's the reason I walked away. I was the secret he never told anyone about. I appreciate all of your advice. I was Blessed the day I started listening to you. V😊😊
Marilyn A. God bless you Brother for posting this. This is so true and I agree with all the words you share on I know that we need to hear words of encouragement when we're going through it. God bless you all who are reading this. May he continue to bless everyone and give you the strength to come out stronger. 🖐️🙏
I had the same .. no one knew about me and texting other girls on social media and said he is single
If a man in a relationship truly loves his woman ! He would be proud too post her and show her off too the world ! If you are not cheating on her and truly committed too just her than you would show her off too the world ! The only reason you would not is that you are cheating on her behind her back trying too keep it on the down low or be sneaky because you don't want your other hook ups too find out your in a relationship and see her ! My man as much as I love him is guilty of this and it really hurts me and causes a lot of unnecessary stress and friction in our relationship not too mention it is 100% disrespectful and wrong too your partner who has been nothing but loving and faithful ! I agree with this video 100% 🧔🌹😭
My ex husband cheated before we separated, we are now divorced. If he wanted someone else, he should have told me and I would have never married him
You are right dear❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you very much you mentioned about women feeling.
Please rephrase your statement because appears to be chain of guilt-trip.
There are dudes who post their woman on their social media and still slide in the DMs of other women and like their half naked pictures
Nothing but peace and love brother on this what you are doing is good on my real talk 🙌🏿🙏🏿💪🏿💯
You are such a wise knowledgeable nice guy. I love listening to your videos
3years invested in a man I paid for things, I allowed him to live with me, treated him as a king. He hid me from day one.never letting someone do that again
Good Morning and thank you for sharing this true message. Amen to that! 🙏
Exactly 💯💯 and my man shut down his social media until I come to New York City to him on this coming Friday too
Facts I'm so glad I don't go through that. That's right show your woman
Nall Im just talking I don't get caught up in all that posting cause you really ain't got nothing to prove. And he might not just see you in that way. I don't know just looking at glass half full.
Show your woman?? Idiotic
Just got ghosted after an argument and watch your videos! Ty it’s helped me a lot, I have been off of social media for years and just got back on and found there are pics of him and his family but none of me and him.. so I know now, I was just an option.. thanks for being things to light. Moving on!!!
Your absolutely right! Chris! I've been following you on video and I like the way you say things!,and you make alot a sence! I thankyou for you to be on air! Guys should tune in to your hearing absolutely 😊, and I thankyou
That is exactly what I think . The reason some people don't walk away from a situation like this is because they don't see their own value and actions like this only adds to her low self esteem creating feelings of unworthy of love
You are absolutely correct! I have always felt the same!
It is!!run ladies..run!
The Truth Will Set You Free. God Bless You ❤
I truly appreciate you. ❤❤❤
So glad I stumbled upon your channel. Everything you say is straight up facts, no doubt about it. This is another one that hit home. At the time He never mentioned our relationship on his media. Here’s a prime example, he had been speaking with a “family friend” on line the duration of our relationship. 2 years go by and I never knew about her until he mentioned she was coming into town and he’d like for me to meet her. I was baffled as I never heard of this person. I never knew about her and she never knew about me. He felt he never thought of bringing it up because it was never brought up while they were chatting on social media. She had been divorced and had lost a family member, now tell me something…. Is this a case of a vulnerable meet up? Think of the attention this person was seeking. And how awkward it would have been for her for me to join them as a 3rd wheel to their meet up. Like who does that? Once I approached him about it of course he got defensive and was pissed at me because she was a family friend.
If they do not share you on their social media as being happily involved with, this kind of crap is going on behind everyone’s back. Unfortunately I had fallen victim of it, and since then I have a huge problem with media profiles. Only thing I have is Pinterest for home ideas and TH-cam for watching the news and getting a better idea on how to deal with Narcissistic abuse.
And the funny stuff.
Everyone is too quick to hit a person up via media and only for one dirty reason. Anyways, long story short… glad I found Chris on here, he’s a real man who speaks truth 100 percent of the
I love you I love everything you posted gives me strength to know what not to take from a man
Thank you so much,you be on point, you really do understand, I love everything you post , I thought I was by myself on the things you post. You make us as women to open up our minds to what we have and really don't have in a relationship.
Thank u so much from S.A I value your teachings so much
Soo true. I dont really do social media, FB etc . I was in a relationship and I put a foto of us up on what's app and he never liked it and he never put a foto of us up .
As u said , he wanted to keep he options open
I am sending this to my husband...pray for us! Thanks again Chris for the great content.
I'm glad I don't have social media so he can't force me to post and I don't force him...its not a factor for us. But family, friends, and Co workers know we are in a relationship
Chris, you are a priceless gem❤
Heck yeah!
I was in one which turned out to be one of the bitter experiences of life
He would never post me, like ever. We were living together!! Anytime I talked about it turned into a major disagreement session. Often transitioning into meltdown. Obviously, I ended the thing. I haven't looked back to process grief yet.
Come to think of it, there have been red flags since the beginning, what was I thinking. The third year of our affair was when I started calling his behaviour out & the following year was like a nightmare.
I am surprised I took all this for what!!!
We talked about the differences and my disappointments at length. I don't think there's anything I need to revisit to recalibrate.
It was some experience. You're absolutely right. Why would you hide a woman! Like why? If one is ashamed or embarrassed, they must stay away from us!! Perhaps, there must exist a boundary and all women ought to follow - if someone is hiding you, he is not for you ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Sending wishes for you, dearest one ❤
Readolivia@...Sorry to hear 😞 you went through all that to learn and grow. I hope this difficult experience worked and made you learn the important lesson and made you realise how beautiful and strong you are, made you wiser and Most Important, that brought you closer to God. ...❤ You and admire you! 😅...
@@esterriesparabe Thank you for your kind words. It was a massive learning experience. I came aware of my strengths and qualities I didn't know about. Also the childhood trauma bit came out. In a strange way, it helped me.
We met in July. He was upset, clearly. There's no going back, of course.
Any lady out there, if you're in doubt, listen to your instincts. More often than not, it's saying something.
Sending everyone peace and serenity 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀
This is late but honestly…why do y’all care to be posted so much lol? Like social media is not life. I think it’s perfectly fine to be private on social media. What if I barely post on there
@@123beserk It isn't about Social Media. If you're in a relationship, you don't hide the lady/man.
Besides, it's my perspective & you are entitled to yours. You don't agree with mine is your choice as much as it is mine to not offer you my reasons for my understanding.
Clearly, if you resonated with my understanding, you wouldn't have been asking or posting "lols".
Seems you haven't been betrayed, cheated, abused or misused. Good for you!
Of course, exploit the lady, her resources, energy, & wealth... Post & show off all about what you enjoy from her & don't ever declare her... maybe I should understand why you're questioning my annoyance over his misbehavior. Took me a while but I understood. "LOL"
Do you realise, you are in no position to question my understanding & life choices?
Peace ♥️
💯👍🏼🙌🏼 love ya Chris, Always keeping it real@!
Yeah❤❤❤❤❤
This guy is a different breed.....God bless you my brother. May your life continues to be filled with love truth from above. You are such a beautiful soul.
Happy to find you here. There's hope for tomorrow cos of you brother
Everything u said is so so true! I know some like this and someone has done this to me before. Yes he was definitely cheating too... smh!
🔥🔥🔥🎯💯...Nothing but da truth!
You’re so right! I agree with most things you share! Continue to keep it 💯🙏🏻
♥️🌼 This is something I always appreciated about my older brother. He wanted others to know who his person was. He didn't care what others thought.( Thank you for that memory🙏🧡.)
You are very honest, Real about what REAL man are. To be for woman. Enjoy all of video& supportive in many ways. Blessings to you 🤍🌷🎚🙏🏽
They don't post their true relationship status because they are not proud and truly love their partner.They are not committed because they are not happy, not contented and not serious. Many of them just want an open relationships to have more time to play around with low value chicks which is disgusting. 🤨
You hit the nail on the head. ❤💯
Thank you Chris that is so true people who hide their relationship and how he is doing other things I thank God for you expressing to help women's out and I only women's men as well but you're right about people being secret about their relationships special when people tell you they love you and they care for you and you mean the world to them❤
I think you are such an Amazing man to speak the truth!!!! Why are all the Great ones taken!!!! Dont wry abt these haters because you are truly one of a kind and im sending you and your family lots of love from N.C.!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thanx again my ex was a massive flirt and attention seeker ! Acted single all the time on social media ....
So happy I don't have these problems. No social media for either. Such bs times lol
Respect to you Rachel.
Social Media is toxic as £u€K.
I stay well away.
The Nex is totally addicted. No prizes for guessing why.
Sometimes men have secret social media.
Social media actually ruins alot of relationships.... if you post anything about your partner be careful and selective about what you post... the whole world doesn't need to be in all your business
You don’t have to post your partner if you don’t want to. It’s enough to put MARRIED in your relationship status.
Hello Sir,
absolutely. Everyone should know that I have a wife and I love her dearly.
However, as always. A relationship or marriage is not a one way street.
Red flags exist with women as well as men.
You are blessed
You are always bang on the money! Love your articulation and approach. Brilliant on every single video I’ve seen of yours. 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
very true! I will proudly show off my next man proudly! I miss that so much
I enjoy watching you. You have a great voice & advice. Keep it going!!❤
You are more than 100% sir 1000% thats so true.why hide someone who love .
I always enjoy your advice. Thank you for making a difference
Married 12 years, we had both "apparently" been off social media, but i find out,it was only me. Hes now shacked up with his coworker (5 months) still married to be & im damn grateful im NOT on social media for all the stroking of egos.
When their phone goes silent and they have a pass code, save yourself some time and leave they ass behind. Cheaters & Narcissist are Rampant
Thanks for explaining this out, you have a strong insight into relationships. thanks for teaching in wisdom. love you too stay safe.
Beautiful message, Real!❤
WHAT YOU JUST SAID MAKES DERN GOOD SENSE TO ME- WHY WOULDN'T THEY?- TO KEEP OPTIONS OPEN I GUESS LIKE YOU SAID, NOT TRULY COMMITTED. BECAUSE HE'S PROUD TO HAVE HER, LOVE IT- SO TRUE- I AGREE
Thank You Sir!may God Bless You&Ur Famil6 Always...💯❤️🙏
💯💯💯💯💯right sir thank you powerful message sir