Asexual people speak out | DW Documentary
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 พ.ย. 2024
- What does it mean to live without sexual desire? Can you have children? Can you find a partner? Is it still possible to be in love? We meet three asexual people who tell us about their lives.
Three asexual people talk about their lives and their very different ways of navigating their sexual orientation. Lennart is 38 and lives in Hamburg. After a few relationships he concluded that he’s asexual and aromantic. He has no interest in having sex or a partner. 60-year-old Martin from Speyer realized in his youth that he was asexual, even if he didn’t have a term for it at the time. Nonetheless, he is married and has two children. But for him, sex is only a means to an end. 22-year-old Akaya from Bielefeld has no sexual desire of any kind. She also finds masturbation unappealing. She lives with her girlfriend in a homoromantic relationship without sex. A Report by Tessa Clara Walther
#documentary #dwdocumentary #asexuality
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In this oversxualized world people are made to believe, that you can't be happy without sex. A lot of sex. And if you don't want that, you are mentally sick. I'm asexual and I've never found people who treated me normal after I told them. Honestly, I think it is easier nowadays to find acceptance as a homosexual than as an asexual.
Indeed! It is a matter of time. When people say we are minority ,I say ..who did the research??? ...! Major don't even know if there is such thing ...
Haha, such a correct reply... today, at my workplace, 2 women (married), could find , or figure out how to "catagorize" this (as if I was a weirdo. 😊
True
to anyone saying this is trauma: you do realise that, if a person is living a fully functional life, and are happy about themselves, then they don't need to go digging through their past to find the root cause of a 'problem' they don't perceive as a 'problem', right? Just live and let live!
Exactly. If they don't want it, and they're happy with that, that should be enough. They're not hurting anyone, not even themselves.
True, we treat norms like they're natural and unchangeable. The human experience is not one that can be well placed in neat boxes. Some people are different, and that's ok.
No surprise why western world is collapsing demographyically....😂😂
Exactly , As long as people are happy , that's all that matters.
@@joexavier4070 Asexual people are valid and don't have any duty or obligation to procreate, no one does if they don't want. Do you have anything to back up that claim? That asexual people, which constitute less than 1% of the population, are responsible for any populations decline? Or are you just trying to scapegoat marginalized people doing no harm for the things you perceive as problems?
There are more asexual people among us than we know (or are willing to admit, perhaps). We need to learn to accept them without trying to "fix" them. Thank you, DW, for another relevant video.
No surprise why western world is disintegrating fastly..with this kind of thoughts people are becoming lazy and weak...law of nature weak will be dominated by strong
Who was asking about peoples sex life??? Only liberals give this any air time
Mental illness is everywhere keep popping those big pharma pills
Nah. They just confused as you are
I’m straight and not interested in sex but that doesn’t mean that I’m a completely different sexuality and different species, just because I don’t want to get intimate.
A reproductive system that doesn't incentivize reproduction, is surely a bug. We absolutely should love and accept the asexual, but we shouldn't pretend that this isn't a pathology of the sex organs.
Good to see these people living happily in their own lives, doing no harm to others.
Good comment, man.
Perfect comment
Liberalism = mental disorder.
♥️
As it should be with every human
If being gay or heterosexual is not due to trauma, why being asexual would be? I can't understand why does that trigger so many...
you're right! Most People are just unaware of asexual people in general too 🙄
Maybe it’s not, who really knows?!
However, a gay person can literally think they are straight, a straight person can literally think they are gay, and some people can fancy most people, some, few, many, the realise almost no people are for you.
Evidence shows that people usually go one way or the other after childhood therapy.
I do wonder how many asexual become sexual after major childhood therapy.
I’ve personally witnessed my sexuality shift in a way I could not believe. I was polyamorous bisexual, and very sexual.
Now, I don’t really feel the urge with almost anyone, but I do know my pull is still towards women right now. My attraction to men was purely based
In the end after much inner work, sexual contact becomes very very specialised and very very intimate.
I would wager that if most people tried childhood therapy, things would shift. I’m not suggesting they do it change their sexuality, but if they have childhood feelings arising, pains, etc.
I personally am now starting to believe there are very certain people for us in the end and (apparently) the more inner work you do, the more you get feelings only for one person, who you’ll eventually meet. I wonder if that’s what these guys have going on, but in a way, almost prematurely!
People can get triggered by my comment if they like...but at the end of the day I’m only sharing my thoughts. Not judging.
If they are happy as they are they won’t be triggered anyway, as they will be sure in themselves.
they hate usssssss but wanna be usssss make it make sense 😂😂😂
@@winterroadspokenword4681 I'm a 100% proud ace, and I can tell you that's some pretty triggersome rhetoric right there
@@winterroadspokenword4681 you just said a load of nonsense
I can relate to all of this. After the first time I had sex, I remember thinking, "That's it? That's what everyone says is so great?" A previous partner used to tell me I was broken. I eventually left that relationship. As one of the people in this interview said, sex felt like a chore, just a bodily function, I didn't look forward to it, and I often felt depressed afterwards. My feelings about sex have never changed and I am much happier without the stress of that expectation from others. I'm glad these people have found partners who understand them and they should be proud of themselves for adhering to their beliefs.
Hmm, that is strange. Did you reach orgasm? Your Brain produces Oxytocin after you have an orgasm. It makes you feel Happy. It's a Biological response. This whole thing interest me. It seems so foreign and I am trying to wrap my head around it. My first thought is "What is the cause"
Thank you for making this documentary! Im asexual, im a 21 year old male who has never had sex nor do i plan on ever having sex. Its great to finally see fellow asexuals getting the recognition we deserve, its definitely made it easier for me to express myself. I am going to make a youtube video about my sexuality soon!
I wish I had known sooner. I would go a year between relationships, claiming I just needed time to heal. I kept thinking I Kai hadn’t met the right person. It’s been 8 years and I’m happier than ever - but I’m 41.
Fellow Ace here. Wassaaap 🙌🏻
I am 22, about to be 23 in March. Through my life, i had maybe 1 or 2 crushes. They were romantic though. I never felt sexual urges. I never been in a relationship or even kissed a person, and to be honest, I feel no urge or need. I couldn't care less if I die a virgin. I work on college classes, keep up with my art, video editing, and everyday work. I started identifying as asexual when I realized this about a year ago. Whenever someone made a sex joke to me, I feel extremely uncomfortable.
If this is a disorder due to my anxiety or my depression, I don't care. I don't want to change. I am content with my Sexuality.
This is my truth
Hey same .. would you like to be friends
You are an awesome human being!!
same
I just really hate when people ask me why I’m single
After awhile, they stop asking, you'll see...
People often say “but you’re so great - you deserve to be happy.” I explain that I am happy, and don’t need anyone else romantically for that. I’ve been single since 2011 but I tried dating for awhile and gave it up 8 years ago and I am happier than I have ever been.
will you marry me... i am also just like you
Yeah it's tiring how often people volunteer to "coach" young women to the ultimate goal in their mind. Marriage and a baby carriage
Why not just find another asexual?
Finally someone talks about asexuals! I recently discovered I am one, and I feel complete! Thank you for sharing this report!
It is a accomplishment. Search about Arahant.
Doesn't it feel sad though? like you are missing something amazing
@90skid97 why should it be sad if it is not amazing for you? I may find learning a foreign language or listening to early Renaissance music an amazing experience but I know it isn't for most people and I accept that. Why can't some people accept that something that's amazing for them is not so for others?
@@aumelb y
That's like saying if somebody enjoys having two arms or no arms. It's the most primal urge other than eating.
@@90skid97 lmao no
Love you and your documentaries DW. Half of the people of the world are crying out for acceptance in some way - you give them a voice in every way you can. Thank you!
Hi
DW losing issue!!
Asexual, Erectil dysfunction, aromantic, misanthropic, gay asexual - that's different types.
DON'T BLEND IT!!!
I'm also one asexual. But i glad to have only romantic relationship.
I feel their struggles so, so much! Being asexual myself is painful when I tell people about this part of me, especially here in Russia. I just want to live a life where people won't judge you for who you are. If you think about it, asexuals are the safest people in society: we don't judge others (because we're well aware of how it feels like), we don't rape (obviously) and overall I think asexuals are the sweetest people you can meet 😊 🖤🤍💜
I'm not asexual but i can see why asexuals should be seen as just normal people. We don't feel there's a problem with us unless someone from outside say that we have a problem especially when we don't harm ourselves or others.
Be you and be happy.
Very good points!
You guys are legit living on god mode when it comes to ignoring your sexual impulses altogether.
@@For_The-namesakesnake they aren't "ignoring" , they just don't get the impulses at all.
Aye me too
Leonard stated a quote that I found extraordinarily helpful in trying to explain non-asexual people’s perspectives: “there is a tendency to deny people their humanity because sex seems to be this thing that makes us human.”
When he said that, it helped me realize why some non-asexual people get so offensively baffled by asexuality.
But it’s true! It’s a nature.
@facellina
But it's not nature. Attraction is something I don't experience therefore it doesn't come naturally to me. Why do you feel your human experience is the only one that matters and is universal? It is not universally shared it is simply the most common experience. You're common. That's it.
But speaking of nature, asexuality has been observed in rams. Between 12-20% of rams are asexual. Pandas are usually ace as well.
Some people literally call the asexual mind “God mode”
I spent 26 years with a male partner,and had five adored children.
After separation, I chose celibacy. I wanted to feel self contained.
The need to consider a male partners constant urges, and living for many years being coersed and raped more than once, was too much for me.
I'm old now. I find men attractive, but the amount of physical and emotional energy needed by being in a relationship was too much.
The thought of a man forcing himself on me, terrifies me.
I'm done being expected to please men.
You lose your self-esteem and worth, along the way.
That said, I enjoy taking care of my appearance,enjoy theatre, the arts, travel, lunches and wine and the joy of friendships and spending time with my adult children and grandchildren.
Peace. Universal love of humanity and the precious planet Earth are more important.
Not all men have urges.
Some of us don't need sex at all.
God gives us abilities the world will refuse to acknowledge.
Yet, it "Is real"
@@rdallas81 hope they still exists?
I'm 37 and have had a similar experience, minus having children.
That does sound a bit more like trauma than asexuality. Or trauma on top of asexuality. Best to you anyway!
I'm sorry that you went through all that. Some people only take and take and take... That's a reality many people, ace or not, go through.
But I'm glad to hear you could leave him behind and live your life the way you wanted.
Asexual here! Thank you for the exposure. I REALLY REALLY want to emphasize that asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction and THANK YOU for getting that right. It's not celibacy nor a lack of libido. Also, many asexual folks want love and relationships, but some don't. Those are your aromantics. Some folks are aro-ace (both) AND some folks are even allosexual and aromantic. People don't talk about that enough.
Finally a positive comment from a person on a spectrum. If only there was less of judgemental individuals...
I was very happy with this doc as an ace person as well
This doc was really well done, and the diversity of ace experiences that they managed to cover in 12 minutes is impressive. I'm asexual and demi-romantic, and I hope that this video helps some folks to understand that not everyone is the same, and that is perfectly fine. Here, have some cake!🎂🎂🎂
Wow, that's great and makes my feel glad I participated.
@@lennart5185 way to go! Thanks for helping all of us (yes, you too!) raise awareness about our sexuality.
For all the pressure of teens about sex and sexuality- this should have been openly available as an option & be disclosed
Excellent documentary. It's great to see finally there is some awareness happening around asexuality. Unfortunately, it's so hard to find a life partner when you're asexual. You're a minority amongst a minority, and really hard to find someone to share your life with.
Biased documentry... This is all hidden agenda of lgbtq
So true.
exactly. I'm aroace and am only into platonic relationships. I would love a bestfriend/sibling life companion and that relates to me.
Indeed. I am so happy that I'm not alone being asexual.
@@sammyhiggs4202 same
Never thought I would see a day that we got a documentary about us
Seeing more representation over the last few years makes me so happy!
Edit: and no, I am not a victim of trauma, I have normal hormone levels, and I am perfectly "sane" as some people put it
Does being asexual automatically mean the person is an introvert?
I could be wrong but asexual people seem to be strong. As a heterosexual I definitely have to have another heterosexual.
Sounds like you are enjoying your existence.
@@jaiyabyrd4177 Not always! I am on a lot of Ace groups and there are a decent amount of people that are more extroverted. It's just your sexuality, just like there are heterosexuals that are also very introverted and extroverted! :D
@@GIChiyo
What is an ACE Group? Is that for Introverts/Extroverts or Asexual Person's?
I do apologize if my comparison of introverts and Asexual appears to be discrimination. I didn't intend it to.
Again, it just, imo, seems as though you have stronger inner drives.
Where as we heterosexual people have a stronger putter drive because we need a sexual partner.
Thanks, that makes me happy!
@@jaiyabyrd4177 In this statement "asexual people seem to be strong" may not apply really, because there is no urge to fight with (if that is what you mean). It's a way of thinking i guess; what is important to some may not be important to others. It's like being a non-conformist to what majority sees as normal; or ... being asexual is their normal.
Asexuality is NOT about disliking sex. Its about lack of attraction. Attraction does not determine behaviour.
I know. I don't understand why people keep mixing up the definition.
Thank you so much for making this documentary. I’m both asexual and aromantic, so it makes me so happy to be represented like this :). Also I’m so happy to see people being supportive in the comments. Weather you’re strait, gay, bi, trans, pan, or ace you’re valid and worthy of respect and happiness.
Can I ask you something? I myself am ace, but not aromantic. And because I have romantic feelings, I can still tell that I am into women in some sense. (And also, there is the drive of course.) But how about you? Can you distinguish any gender you are "into"? And if so, what would that mean in your case?
And by the way, because I read your username: Math is awesome ;)
@@efi3825 Just in case you don't get an answer to that from Tabbylovesmath, I'll give you mine :) . I'm aroace and I think I'd be heterosexual; I'm not attracted to people in the sexual or romantic way but sometimes I see men and I think "if I wasn't as I am that's probably the kind of guy I would go for".
But then that's my answer, that would actually be interesting to see what others feel like.
@@MymyLap- I see. Thanks mate.
@@efi3825That also makes total sense if you are not aromantic. You are still romantically attracted to people, and there are a bunch of different types of separate attractions you can have besides sexual too.
It sounds like you’re talking about ‘aesthetic attraction,’ which is when you can look at people and find them cute/beautiful/handsome/visibly appealing in some way, even if it wouldn’t necessarily make you want to be sexually intimate with them. That can still be romantic, like it sounds like you’re saying (and of course that could also be experienced platonically by an asexual person as well.)
I’m that way myself. I’m still questioning a bit, but I think that I’m (heteromantic) asexual - I’ve never felt sexual attraction to a person - and I can still find guys handsome or cute, in a non-sexual way, and it can be a factor in me wanting to be in a romantic relationship with them.
I’m not asexual but I totally understand why people are, I really do.
Same. I think i'm like 70% asexual lol
@@ashleyj0 I’m starting to think so about myself too, I’m just too damn busy to care 😂
Did you mean you "...understand "that/how" [some*] people are"? ... I mean, "why" would imply a reason, right?, but have we humans really discovered &/or understood "why"?
Also, I am guessing that your "why" doesn't imply asexuality can be a choice, am I wrong?
@@pauljsm no. I meant exactly what I said.
@IIReeperCreeperII you aren't asexual then
Finally see people like me. At 25, I've never had it and possibly never will. I've also never been in any relationship and never feel the urge to get into one. I am aware of attractive women of course but that's just it.
Thanks for this doc...I feel normal..I thought something was wrong with me.
It's not that I am AGAINST sex..I've just never felt the urge, even as a teen.
Some ppl have a bigger job on earth to do and fit humanity and if they had a partner, kids, sexual ties , trauma and drama , they could not do the mission they were sent to do. All because they have control over their loins.
@@rahimi4762 Yeah that just seems like a load of bs. "there's a higher purpose for this"
Yeah sure bud. "Sent to do" Last time I checked I was born, not send.
Welcome :-D looking forward to seeing you on r/asexuality
@@0xszander0 And they don't know what they're missing lol.
Bro.. Don't use TH-cam to verify who you are.
You're born the way you are born, so definitely nothing wrong there.
However I would personally check my hormone levels if I was in your shoes.
Might be no abnormalities there and that can actually verify something there. (instead of a non-scientific doc) And if not, then you know.
You are good who you are, but don't skip on trying our new things or get to know yourself better.
I believe that many people don't feel sexual urge, but once you reach adulthood, suddenly you are supposed to practice sex. We just ignore that Everyone is different.
So true
Hm, I guess it's like not liking or caring about football, for example. You see how passionate other people are about it, but you don't care. And you can be perfectly happy without it.
It's not really the same though because football isn't necessary for the human race to continue on like sex is. So yeah there's nothing wrong with someone who doesn't like football but usually there is something wrong with someone who doesn't like sex. It's usually a hormone imbalance, or severe depression, or a lot of anxiety.
People have an unhealthy obsession with sex and sports.
Exactly! I feel the same about sex as I do about football. I don’t choose to think about them or have any interest.
That's a good way to put it!
It's like this, only in a deep rural Texas High School where people think that you must be insane if you don't agree with them 😂 but also 😔 but still 😂
*I'm on the asexual spectrum and I've lived in Texas & love it. Don't come for me 😉
As an asexual guy, I am not attracted to anyone and that is who I am. I don’t need anyone’s opinion of wether my sexuality is “fake”, “invalid”, “attention seeking”. I especially don’t give a crap if my sexuality bothers a triggered minority of people within the LGB community or heterosexual community that try to act as though they’re more superior over me. I know what my sexuality is, I am 26 years old and know what my sexuality is.
Yes dude , live your best life out there 🤗
So happy for you accepting yourself and living in the way that makes you happy!
Good for you brother!
Saaaame 👏🏻⭐️
Refreshing! It took me too many years to accept that I was not "weird" for not wanting sex. Thanks!
We are definitely weird. And that's okay, some of us can't be normal and that needs to be accepted and tolerated more. Normalcy just means belonging to the majority and as much as we would love to those were not the cards we were dealt. We're unfortunate more than anything. Being born with different brain chemistry to the average person means being cheated out of the lives we should have had.
Everyone is different. 🤷🏾♀️ They're doing what's best for them.
Very true. Wonder how many men are having more orgasms watching a screen than with their partners?
Are you proud being LGBTQWEAZSDASD+?
@@boredguy5531 Hell yeah!
Weird lifestyle...stay their in west(land of degenerated)...don't come to my country
@@boredguy5531 Are you proud of being a close minded shits for brains loser?
Oh oh oh!! I'd love to have a relationship with someone like this. It'd be a great friendship, no sex, and that would be absolute acceptable to me. My ex-spouse couldn't figure out my disinclination to accommodate him. I've always believed the world didn't approve of my disinclination, there has to be sexual urges or a person isn't "normal." I've learned not to allow other people to dictate my life. This video is confirming and I appreciate it.
I'm an asexual female in a conservative third world country. I am determined not to be married off in an arranged marriage to be some guy's broodmare. I am so happy to see other asexuals thriving. Thanks for the documentary and bringing awareness towards asexuals ❤
People should be free to live their lifes in whatever way they want. Spread love and peace, and that is it!
I love learning about other people’s views for things I find normal or required. ❤
Normal?
Required?
Says who?
@@paulheydarian1281 says life lol
@@paulheydarian1281 says us
I might be asexual, and the way I see and experience it, is I've never had any sexual desires or thoughts about other people. I might find people physically attractive just as I find some paintings beautiful, but I don't want to sleep with the painting, I just appreciate its beauty. I might be attracted to someone's personality and want to be close to them emotionally, but even when I am, it doesn't translate to doing SEXUAL stuff with them. Those desires are foreign to me.
But I wouldn't say I was born this way.
I do feel somewhat repressed by my inner critic, perfectionism, and fearful avoidantness. I find sex the way other people have it gross, and if I'd were to have it, I would want to be treated like a sacrum, and no guy would agree to that in this day and age. So better avoid the topic entirely.
I feel the same way. I never had a desire for sex but I do find people attractive not in the way most people think. So what you are experiencing is most likely aesthetic attraction and sensual attraction.
@@ShadowofArts Or romantic/platonic.
For a long time, I also thought it better to avoid the topic but now that I'm in my 30s I've been way more open about it. Turned out two of my closer friends were both demi sexual and they thought everyone was like that. Some people will be mean about it or ghost you, but true friends will ask questions to learn more about you and be supportive. There are some forums online where you can talk to other Ace people and that was how I confirmed that trauma was definitely a correlation and not causation of asexuality.
Love this documentary. These asexual people are probably making many better life decisions than us.
I'm ace and I can't even get a job. Us aces are as unfortunate as anyone else. Especially me, as I have learning difficulties in addition to my asexuality, so I really don't fit in.
I had a family member tell me I was just repressed. I was so disappointed with them. I have never been happier than when I stopped trying to be something I wasn't. I don't wake up everyday thinking "I'm ace", but when I do think about it, I feel connected to myself and a community of people who live and think similarly to me. Thanks for this thoughtful documentary.
Yes asexuality needs to be understood and accepted. Some people still think asexuality only exists in plants.
Hmm maybe that's why I liked hugging trees in my teens because they were the only ones who get me 😅
Thank you so much for making this documentary, this is the first time in my life to get to know the right term to describe myself.
♥️
🙌🏻Same☀️
They're just comfortable being themselves
@Live Free According to you
@Live Free Perhaps being filmed while talking about intimate things with a good chance of being ridiculed, talked down, ignored and harassed makes you a little nervous? I mean, it's an outing in front of thousands of strangers. All the best to you!
The moral of this doc is, I believe: don’t give unsolicited advice.
TLDR;
Keep fapping. Lel.
But at the same time... giving unsolicited advice is the definition of woke.
but take a shower:)
@@EmpressKadesh It's also quite conservative.
There's nothing wrong with them. It's a natural response to the way the world views sex and sexuality.
It's not a 'natural response', it's simply the way they were born, just like how (most) people were born straight and not because they were taught to like the opposite gender _that_ way.
😂😂😂
It's not a response, that would imply it's a choice. It's just part of who we are.
I like seeing older people who are asexual. As a 41 year old asexual/demiromantic, this makes me feel less alone in the sea of kids and young adults who are asexual. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely glad that we're moving into a more positive direction regarding representation. It's just kind of a struggle for us older folk who didn't have access to even a quarter of the info out there regarding LGBTQIA topics. Growing up, i thought something was wrong with me, especially in my teen years. So many kids were having sex (and even getting pregnant) in high school, while i didn't want to in the slightest. I enjoyed watching TV and spending time with friends and my sister more than anything else.
It was only just this year that a therapist who's an expert on sexualities told me I'm probably asexual based on what i told her about how I've never felt sexually attracted to anyone, even the most conventionally attractive people, and never desire sex, even with my fiance.
To all of you out there trying to point at trauma as a "possible cause": it's got nothing to do with that. I even asked my therapist that question. She said it's just like any other sexuality or gender identity. You're just born that way.
I'm aro-ace and I'm 44. I only went on two dates in high school with the same
guy and that's it. He dated a couple of my friends and when he asked me I said yes
to see what it's like. Never even kissed the guy. I haven't been on any dates since.
I have no romantic or sexual attraction to anyone. Saw what my friends went through
dating and I felt bad for them.
I didn't find out the term until I was 40 in 2020 from a YT video. It was so nice to finally learn
the term and find out that I wasn't alone. Never cared about trying to fit it since I haven't anyway
since I was a kid born with a learning disability. So I had no reason to date to keep up appearances.
Just seems stupid to me since I have 0 interest in dating.
Finally, a docs that discuss about asexuality since there are not many people talk about asexuality in mainstream culture.
honestly surprised to see such good and varied representation in a random documentary so thank you!!!
Jus a quick shoutout to my fellow aces and our allies who educate and speak out against hate in the comments. You're the best!
💛💛💛
Companionship is far more important than sex.
Actually it is as lust blinds you and makes you make bad decisions.
Aw this was so awesome to see as a fellow asexual. Glad these people are living their best lives :)
Unfortunately we cannot live our best lives when we are outcasts from society. This is true for all minorities but especially us. No one understands, accepts or even acknowledges us. We're not even tolerated.
This topic is more important than we think. People must feel free to be themselves come what may. Great work DW!
I like your comment. It's about time that somebody talks about this.
Asexuality is an impossibility in our species tho. These people have reduced desires/urges, but given the right situation, their hypothalamus can force them to act on the instinct to breed.
I'm a 20 year old and I'm asexual. I find fun and happiness more pleasurable than sex. Even after countless girls that wanted to sleep with me after dozens of booze, my friends just save me from them. Because they understand why I chose to be asexual. Maybe I'll cross the line some day but I need time to understand myself and everything around me.
It's not a choice.
Choice???
I spent a large portion of my younger days being extremely promiscuous. You would find it hard to believe my story. You would find it hard to believe the amount of sexual partners I have had.
Quite normal sex. Nothing queer or wierd.
Now I am older I have no interest. I enjoy eye candy and love women but that is as far as it goes. I went from one extreme to the other and am now celibate.
Why do you think that happened?
@@sevena.channel Thanks for the question.
Partly my age but also about having too much of a good thing. I had my fill ... I think. I started to prefer doing different things.
I used to go out on the town every day and night, for years. Now I don't enjoy town life. I like to chill in the countryside. I avoid crowds and gatherings.
Just a friendly reminder for everyone that being celibate is not the same thing as being asexual. Celibacy is a choice, asexuality is not🙂
@@isabella2000 Okay
@@isabella2000 words words words words words. People are people so why should it be.......
Sexual desire is like Bielefeld for them, they heard about it, but it doesn't seem to exist.
I honestly don't understand why so many people have harsh criticisms towards this group of people. Like, do you guys really want to go to bed with them so badly?
I remember telling a couple friends I was asexual because we were talking about who we were attracted to and they started telling me lots of stuff I dont feel like going into detail about they cared so much about if I was having sex or not and I have no idea why I've tried it and I definetly dont feel like im missing out I dont know why people cant grasp a simple concept and why they care so much
We live everyday, we learn everyday .
The fact their are more people like
Me in the world makes me feel more like I belong
I love seeing people like me living happily and enjoying life
Its the acephobia in the comments for me look at those dislikes like we Ace's aren't even bothering anyone yet people hate on us
Likeee we really have them pressed
@@oglifeline1005 You lowkey remind me of Yasmin Benoit
@@DefineMorena thanks
literally though people are so uneducated and when you try to say something they shut it down i can't stand unopen minded folks
It's because there's a lot of stupid people out there. I just give the dumb people
that say aces have trauma and that's why they're like that downvotes and don't talk
to them. They're not worth talking to.
Most enlightened people on the Planet. They didn't fall for the grand Illusion, more power to them👍👍👍
They definitely have more time and money to pursue their dreams.
there's no 'grand illusion' nor are we special, we were simply born this way.
Thank you for supporting our community💜
What "grand illusion?" And enlightened? No, we're just regular people.
@@extremepsyche3135 Yeah, no. We still have problems, and ya know....we go to school and have jobs too....we have other relationships like platonic and romantic, some of us are physically disabled, we're regular people with a lot of the same struggles. Please don't treat us Ace people like we have things so easy and are these perfect, innocent, enlightened beings, when all we are is regular people.
GREAT VIDEO
The older generations didn't do a great job teaching about the different type of sexual orientation people are born .
People are born straight , gay , bisexual, asexual , pansexual , and you have people who have gender identity who are transgender people.
What's the difference between Bisexuality and Pansexuality?
DW Knocked this one out of the park, never heard of this and it’s very intriguing!😮
Ive been struggling all my life thinking something was wrong with me until a few weeks ago when i found out what a sexuals are! i don't get turned on have never gotten off its like im numb down there i even was thinking i mite have nerve damage i just don't feel it and sex is just another chore for me I've be celibate for 5 years now and i never want to have sex again no man wants that so I've come to terms with being happily single for the rest of my life 😊
I was/am/will be single. I did have a partnership but TG is over and getting older the pressure disappaers
@@ClareSw I'm looking for a rich senior citizen with one foot in the grave that can no longer get a hard on 😂😂 jk
Hi i want to talk with you
I totally understand aesexual people. We all dont have to conform or follow any way of living. Each can follow their own path.
Sexuality is super complex and very psychological hence many types of orientations have existed and will always exist. I believe sexuality is defined when you are still a toddler. You become heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual or asexual at that very young age and you grow up without talking about that inner intimate definition of yourself because you are too young to understand what's going on and you are too ashamed to talk about it. Then you grow up and you either feel comfortable when the world you live in finds your orientation ok, or you feel threatened and harassed when the world you live in finds it not ok.
It's transgender, not transs*xual. And it's a gender identity, not a s*xual orientation. And while I agree with most of what you said, it's something we're born with, it just takes us time and self awareness to figure it out.
What if you were super sexual in 20' and 30's and then in 40's the desire fell off? Not seeing much about that on here.
It protects you from STDs as well.
You feel attraction to people, faces etc, but just aren't attracted to their sexual organs.
Well i certainly do Not
that's me
Yeah that's exactly how I feel
Why is it so difficult for people to understand that human sexuality and sexual urges are on a spectrum, some people have a lot of it and some people don't. Just because someone is not on the same point on that spectrum or dial as everyone else doesn't mean they are less than as human beings. I don't understand why asexuals , people who are low on the sexual urge part of the spectrum, offends those who are have more.
Yeah we should accept everyone. However I do think if you're on the outskirts of that spectrum it is worth taking a look what might cause this.
I know people that are oversexual due to past trauma. On the other hand we know asexuality can be caused by hormone imbalances or trauma as well.
Don't give such unsolicited advice to anyone of course.. But I do wonder how many of these people actually know themselves. Or might actually have underlying issues causing them to be on that part of that sexual spectrum.
@@0xszander0 I would respectfully disagree.I think a lot of people are just born that way, like some people are born gay or lesbian. You just can't change their dial position for them with therapy or medication and suddenly make them more sexual.
What are you talking about? I can't imagine how it can offend anybody.
Because they’re projecting. Who ever called them slurs and judged them for it, they take it out on those who do not. Pretty sick
@@AlexV6 Really, look at some of the comments below (unless they have been deleted by DW) about how asexuals are unnatural, or have an abnormal lifestyle , or are quacks, or crazy, or "stop normalizing lunacy"
I'm 43 and I feel the same. I did it once in my early 20's and I knew I would never do it again, and I haven't! It just repulses me.
I've just known DW recently. I like your video so much. They are all useful, meaningful and attractive. Thank you :)
Being asexual is the best thing ever
Your hormones don't force you to try to flirt with idiots (from the gender you are attracted to )just because they are good looking
I really wish I was an asexual
Hormones don't do that sexual attraction does.
Hormones and Sexuality are both different things.
No...we still have hormones, we can still feel arousal..
As an ace can confirm
8 years myself. Not by choice though. I just can't seem to meet any people who aren't lame.
I always say that I'm the Q&A at the end of LGBT that gets left out sometimes. People will add them on when they write it out but we are often told we don't belong and didn't contribute to a community that has been our whole lives.
Then you are not asexual, it is different between having no sexual interest with not finding a good enough person (by your standard) to have sex with .
I am 57. And this is the first time I will say this. I am A sexual. I do have a son. I love him with all my heart, my marriage failed for a lot of reasons, but I am so happy for others. I just have hidden who I am for so long where I don’t fit the LGBTQ community, or the hetero world. To know there are others should bring me comfort, but for whatever reason doesn’t.
A very insightful and interesting presentation. As an asexual person, I truly appreciate the content.
So glad I watched this. A lot I didn't know. I'm happy for them and their openness!
The world can learn so much about what these folks are offering. They are correct in explaining the most important and meaningful part of a healthy relationship that will last is the experience that comes from interacting, bonding, and embracing someone in their entirety intellectually, the complete immersion and passion of absorbing and loving the entirety of the partner’s soul.
If we had more focus on that, and less mindless obsession on sex, we would have countless millions less cases of divorce, kids growing up with an absent parent, who are all but guaranteed to grow into damaged adults, and a world with much less trauma and mental illness.
I think these people have evolved neurally beyond the overwhelming majority of us, they have mastered that bit of reptilian wiring that drives animals to reproduce at all cost, in favor of exercising a trait that is arguably exclusive among our species- which is having the ability to choose logic and reasoning to deny our reptilian, primitive, instinctual programming.
After reading dozens of comments by people who think that asexuals are just abnormal and/or too ugly to ever get a sexual partner, I’m glad that you think positively about asexuals. However, I think it’s incorrect to say that asexuals are more “evolved” than non-asexuals as sexual orientations shouldn’t be placed on a hierarchy. We asexuals are no better or worse than anyone else.
No, they're the death of society and an evolutionary dead-end. A society without children has no future.
@Anonymous person Wow, me being 'the death of society', I like that, it sounds so dramatic! That being said, thinking the only way a person can benefit others ist by procreating seems at least a little narrow minded.
I guess these people are the least offensive and threatening humans when it comes to the subject of 'SEX'. What a refreshment!
No trauma for me, just what my sexuality is 👍
Being a conventionally attractive asexual person is annoying. People automatically think that you work out, keep fit, get dressed, or even just have basic hygiene in order to stay attractive to others...no, I just love working out and it makes me feel good physically, mentally, spiritually; plus gives me confidence. BUT it's so weird and awkward to go places and turn people down...I have gotten off of the "I have a boyfriend" excuse...used to, but went off of it once I realized they were only backing down cuz they only saw me as some other dude's "property"...it's awkward and one of the reasons I'm a hermit. I do Identify with the idea of finding others aesthetically beautiful/handsome or attractive, I do want a relationship (best friend I could be partners in life with and who would find me as beautiful as I see them)..overall I just enjoy my alone time with my pets and occupy my mind with hobbies.
I totally relate to that ..
FREE THINKING / CHOICE / DECISION, RIGHT OF EVERYONE
i dont get why ppl think being asexual is always a trauma thing ... im ace n sex n that kind of stuff in general just grosses me out
yeah, and some aren't even grossed out and may enjoy it. the only common thread is the lack of sexual attraction, and for some reason people find that hard to grasp.
Me too
Ever since I was a child I always found kissing and any sort of sex scenes in movies were disgusting.. I never wanted a boyfriend, never wanted children, never wanted sex. I was preassuered by society (and boyfriends especially) to do the sex, breeding, and marrying thing. I knew I wasn’t interested in women (I had offers. The thought of being with a woman disgusted me more than the thought of being with a man). I did the sex thing coz that is what you did to please your partner, but I found it all a chore. And kissing makes me want to vomit. After being married for a year or so I discovered the concept of Asexuality, and it was like a light went off in my brain. I told my husband, and he told me he just thought I was actually gay. I stopped initiating the sex-because-it-is-expected, and pretty soon after that we separated and divorced. I haven’t had sex since, and have been much happier. I made myself some ace wrist bands and found some badges. I wear them everywhere. Now when ever I get hit on, I show those off and the guys usually back right off. Sometimes they will ask about it and we get into deep conversations instead of “sexual stuff”. I now have much deeper friendships with people, and with the men who are my friends I can feel safe around them. We know where we stand relationship wise.
Definitely share your experience especially when it comes to kissing. Like, ew? And watching p*rn grosses me out to no end.
I'm kind of jealous! You would have so much more free attention and energy! And you would avoid so many bad relationships based purely on physical attraction.
not quite
My autism completely makes my energy be spent in something unrelated to my work lol
That's not how this works....I have ADHD and OCD.....I'm also ace and don't get quiet like ever.
Dies ist eine faszinierende Filmdokumentation, die so viel erklärt!
There's a documentary about this. Wow. I remember the first time I mentioned I may be asexual, i was told I hadn't met the right man so thats why i didnt get the urges. Now I just say I'm not interested in marriage or a relationship...which isn't true but it gets people off my back....but at a cost of loneliness.
This documentary made me have some hope that one day in the future people will understand and not try to 'fix' me when I say I'm asexual.
Wow awesome documentary, I didn’t know this until now, I learned something new today!
Hi @Ken Na, thanks for watching and commenting. We're glad you found the video informative. 🙂
I'm asexual but I watch. I don't feel anything toward anyone. You can say I'm antisexual. Just imagining that I'm in an intimate relationship makes me nauseous.
Good to see positive representation
Great documentary as usual DW.
Thank you very much for the support!
Glad someone is talking about this. In my experience, the asexuals I know are all very intelligent with very high IQs (Aspergers, High Functioning Autism), including myself. We really enjoy cerebral activities like Chess, Scrabble, Films, Conversation, Hobbies, etc. and just don't need physical relations. None of us have trauma. As best as I can explain is: the joy some people get from physical sex, we get that joy from intelligent connections.
so true
though I don't claim to be intelligent but the rest of it is relatable (not chess, scrabble but yeah anime,movies, series,deep sea)🖤🖤🖤
yeah thats so me :)
Im ace and I'm not remotely intelligent, unfortunately. I have no interest in chess or anime and I have a learning difficulty called dycalculia.
Another superb video DW👏 It has resonated with me. Thank you for the insight 🤎
hi.. will you live with me for full life in a relationship... i am also like u
Why are people complaining? Less competition for me!
Wow I guess apathy is better than hatred but I'm not certain...
These people would certainly save a lot of time and make their lives simpler.
It's actually no less complicated, and sometimes moreso for those of us who still want romantic relationships.
DW with a tangental documentary still.
Kudos. 🎉
I'm so happy they all found happiness with who they are and are being their authentic selves.
Today at work, a co-worker said, "I don't know why anyone would want 4 kids. How many kids do you have?" After a short hesitation, I answered, "Four." A few moments later she said, "What made you want four?" After I answered her, she said, "I still wouldn't want 4. It's not practical in this economy."
In a very slight way, I felt, perhaps for the first time that an inescapable fact about myself was being questioned and that my life was found subpar. I feel like this may be how people who are not heterosexual may feel...perhaps that being different was judged as being worse...not just different.
Is it not enough anymore to just accept someone without knowing their life story?
@Live Free huh?
The world was never like that. It's a hard place to survive in. Atleast for me.
I am so asexual that I had no clue something like sexual attraction existed before I googled asexuality
"when I see this my first thought is that the airbrush work is really old" haha, same! Thank you for that documentary
I was over sexual when I was young and nowadays I'm pretty asexual. But I still crave intimacy. Not sex! I never seen men as a sexobjekt. I never thought of gender when I talk to people. I talk with a person. Not a gender. I never had any sexual fantasy. I just had the feelings in my body when I was young. I don't look at my self as a gender. I see my self as a person. No strong feminine or masculine traits, I'm simply me. But yes I'm a woman and I am attracted to men and only men. Just not in a sexualised way. I love intellect, especially emotional intelligence. But oh.. have I been in love. A really deep soul connection that raised my standards to "extremely high" It's impossible for me to lower those standards. I rather die alone than lower my standards. I feel sex has transformed from something beautiful to something ugly lately in society, the more I see people's sexual expressions. It has gone from giving, to taking. It's no longer an expression for love, but to satisfy one's own needs. Ofc not everyone! But what is mostly seen and expressed.
I just wanna clarify one thing that the narrator got wrong: asexual people can feel sexual attraction, like me. I’m asexual but I feel sexual attraction, however, it’s just an attraction in the same way that someone is attracted to a beautiful song or painting.
Wow that is a great description I agree...
Somebody literally just told me that I may have a deep seated trauma because I do not like sex and they wished me well. I am heteroromantic asexual.
What trauma causes you to be straight is a good comeback
To be completely honest with everyone reading this right now. After almost 30 years now of having the worst kind of luck with relationships and girls. I have to admit that I’m Asexual now. As soon as I found out what it meant I straight up admitted it to my mother that Is how I feel now. But I just wanted to also point out that you have to be careful with explaining these things with someone because it’s really personal
I steel feel like "dysfunctionally heterosexual" is better in most social circumstances, especially with relatives. Nobody doubts me if I say I got no game... I don't think I would like them trying to fix me.
@@Andreas-gh6is yeah I get what you mean by that. And I promise you that I’m not the one to judge you or anyone else based on their own sexuality. That is just something that you have to talk about with someone that you can fully trust. Because like I said before it’s a really personal matter probably for a lot of people. And honestly for me personally and like I said before in what I said is that I’m almost thirty years old now and I had so much bad luck with relationships and trying to win myself over a soulmate. So yeah man I’m not here to judge you or anything like that. I totally understand how you feel about it. And like I said before. Make sure that you only talk about it with people that you can fully trust.
I appreciate them letting us into their state of mind.
Very interesting to be exposed to other human beings who may think or see differently than you.
If you’re not open minded, stop commenting. Just unsubscribe. You’re not ready for any pov that’s not your own.
I saw rainbow flag their😂
@@abyxavier6540 because asexuality is LGBT.
@@flytubehd9653 exactly. It's an oxymoron. They're in-between homosexuality and hetrosexuality and most spill over to lgbt+ because of it.
@@RochelleHa No, they're lgbt because they aren't heterosexual. Anyone who isn't heterosexual and heteroromantic is part of the lgbtq+ community.
@@RochelleHa It's not in between anything, it just is what it is, and lack of s*xual attraction is a s*xual orientation that isn't heteronormative. So therefore LGBTQIA+
as a teen I didn't know why I didn't ask anyone out I thouht I was gay but even with girls I would rather just hang out as friends the idea of sex always made me feel uncomfortable. It's wasn't until after I graduated from high school I was watching a TH-camr who said they were ace and I'm like: is that what I am? So I looked it up and that's when it hit me!! Now 5 years later I'm proud to be an ace and my parents support me!!
I am Asexual as well. I feel just perfect
these people are truly free
Why? If you can control your hunger, you can also learn to control your lust. How hard can it be.
@@backsteinfisch3894 us asexuals don't even feel lust