I grew up undiagnosed, this was and still is big issue in my life, whenever things got too much. Often very suddenly I would and still do melt down into a crying shouting mess. I didn’t understand why it happened, I was frequently, both as a child and adult reprimanded for my behaviour, told asked why couldn’t, I as an obviously intelligent women, just ‘do it’ get on with life as everyone else did. Stop making such a fuss, stop seeking attention, stop trying to get your own way, etc. It affected my mental health, to point of suicidal attempts. When I was finically diagnosed age 56 it all made sense. Now I’m 60, I still melt down and become overwhelmed by life, but just knowing it’s not my fault really helps me to deal with it and not condemn myself. My wish is that no other child particularly the girls/women are left undiagnosed and have to go through life struggling. Orion you are doing such a fab job, you explain things so well and make the information really easy to take in, thank you.
I had an appointment in the city yesterday. I'm not comfortable driving in the city so my mom drove me. My husband had to take time off work to watch the kids. I arrive and the receptionist couldn't find me on the schedule. I handed her my paperwork and she told me I'm a month early. I had a meltdown and burst into tears. What I find hard as a parent is you just have to kind of suck it up and push through, there is really no time to recover.
Make the time😊. Put recovery time on your schedule and treat it like you did your job interview appt. Even if you do not think you urgently need it, do it. Recovery time does not need to be a week on a quiet island; just a few hours *alone* helps. Last year, stubborn me did not take even the tiniest amount of time for myself and that led to me _almost_ being jobless. Fortunately, HR said I could go on medical leave (for months) instead, and they would call it vacation if anyone asked. 🤗 Taking breaks can be *hard* but not taking them can lead to worst outcomes. Perhaps start small (i.e., if you have not already). _Happy Healthy Body and Mind to You_ 🧘
Also be very aware that the autistic person might not be able to tell you why they have gone into meltdown. I am 49 and it is only in the last couple of years that I have gotten a feeling when I am getting anxious/overwhelmed. Before that I would have seemed like I was fine and then an explosion out of nowhere. These days I get the feeling but am so used to masking that people around me still usually can't tell. Even though I now get that warning sign I still a lot of the time can't tell you what is setting it off.
THIS! My parents don’t understand that I don’t understand either and that there doesn’t necessarily need to be a “problem” when these happen. So this is really useful for them to know.
My wife had just realized she was autistic after about 2 years of running a business together. I didn't understand why she became aware so suddenly but this helped me understand. That the demand overcame her capabilities to cope. Thank you
Your videos have been a lifesaver. I am currently in a new relationship with an autistic man, and your video series has helped me to better understand him and manage my own emotions as well. Thank you so much for these!
Thank you for making these videos. It is really helping me get my head around my late diagnosis. Due to a very stressful life to date, I have had plenty of meltdowns. I have gotten to the stage of an autistic burnout!! 😢😢
Thanks for the video: wanted to add-when I'm in sensory overwhelm and have had a meltdown I often really need to lie down in a dark room under a weighted blanket. Sometimes I need long nap. This is the best medicine if I've got into hypoarousal - the quickest fix is just to let my brain rest completely. I'd be so distressed being encouraged to go outside. Sometimes fresh air and sunlight is wonderful - but just wanted to point out that encouraging someone outside post meltdown could very much be construed as a demand- and for someone in recovery from a nervous system stress response that wouldn't be ideal. Different stages of disregulation need different types of movement/recovery in my experience. If I'm building towards meltdown vestibular and proprioceptive input from cycling or walking is really helpful. If I'm post meltdown I'm sometimes unbelievably low and exhausted and profoundly need rest and to very gentley UP regulate with some gentle music, gentle familar tv programme, snacks drinks etc.
I love this video so much and what infuriates me when I’m having a meltdown is if someone tells me OK take a deep breath I mean I know they’re trying to help, but when I am in the meltdown mode, my brain doesn’t really listen to anything. If my water bottle is near me at the time, I’m having a meltdown, sure I will drink from it, or if my therapeutic duck is near, I will turn him on and hold him for a while, and have him quack or Trenton on the mute setting, so he doesn’t quack, but still move, or if Shayna’s around, I will talk to Shayna
You know what? Thanks 👍 I just realized looking at your video that I had a meltdown in front of my boss the other week. I got aggressive and threw my gloves in the wall and walked away. Later on he wanted an apology and he got one. but I do realize now that it was wrong of me.
My question is- is the expression of it “controllable” to any degree ? Over time with age I definitely “express” the release is a super mild way (with a lot of intentionality)
Are there warnings of a meltdown? It is springing up in me seemingly out of nowhere and in embarrassing places and I cannot control it. I know my energy has been drained and hasn’t really ever returned back to my normal capacity but I have difficulty identifying emotion states unless I have time or the signal is quite strong.
I'm still embarrassed to tell people who I am or explaining why I repeat myself or why I cant look at you directly I got diagnosed about 8 months ago my psychiatrist was concerned when I wasn't directly contacting her with eye contact so its hard to explain to the world
If you don’t know that an adult person is diagnosed a meltdown can feel like an attack. This is why it is hard to stay calm. If the other person then blames you for everything then it is even harder. So easier said than done to stay calm
We are normal people also, there are so many variations in normal people. I think neurotypical, or NT, people may not understand ( if they don't know much about autism). I don't put this as a criticism, but to say that YOU are not abnormal. You are just different than the majority. What is a "normal" person? I am sure you wouldn't exclude others from that definition, i.e. a wheelchair bound person perhaps, why exclude yourself? You should be respected and valued as much as any other "normal person". Others have a much better chance of understanding if we tell them about how we experience things. Think about neurotypical people with phobias, others can understand that if they know about the phobia. Sorry to run on, but I really felt that you were ruling out yourself as normal, you actually are probably exceptional in areas some NT's find difficult.
The humiliation is well felt and is so hard to make that feeling stop. I also feel terrible for not being able to exert control.
I grew up undiagnosed, this was and still is big issue in my life, whenever things got too much. Often very suddenly I would and still do melt down into a crying shouting mess. I didn’t understand why it happened, I was frequently, both as a child and adult reprimanded for my behaviour, told asked why couldn’t, I as an obviously intelligent women, just ‘do it’ get on with life as everyone else did. Stop making such a fuss, stop seeking attention, stop trying to get your own way, etc. It affected my mental health, to point of suicidal attempts. When I was finically diagnosed age 56 it all made sense. Now I’m 60, I still melt down and become overwhelmed by life, but just knowing it’s not my fault really helps me to deal with it and not condemn myself. My wish is that no other child particularly the girls/women are left undiagnosed and have to go through life struggling. Orion you are doing such a fab job, you explain things so well and make the information really easy to take in, thank you.
I had an appointment in the city yesterday. I'm not comfortable driving in the city so my mom drove me. My husband had to take time off work to watch the kids. I arrive and the receptionist couldn't find me on the schedule. I handed her my paperwork and she told me I'm a month early. I had a meltdown and burst into tears. What I find hard as a parent is you just have to kind of suck it up and push through, there is really no time to recover.
That must have been so very difficult 😞
I’m so sorry to hear that Whitney. I feel for you.
Make the time😊. Put recovery time on your schedule and treat it like you did your job interview appt. Even if you do not think you urgently need it, do it. Recovery time does not need to be a week on a quiet island; just a few hours *alone* helps. Last year, stubborn me did not take even the tiniest amount of time for myself and that led to me _almost_ being jobless. Fortunately, HR said I could go on medical leave (for months) instead, and they would call it vacation if anyone asked. 🤗 Taking breaks can be *hard* but not taking them can lead to worst outcomes. Perhaps start small (i.e., if you have not already). _Happy Healthy Body and Mind to You_ 🧘
When my dad was alive he used the term freak out which is about the way to describe melt down
Also be very aware that the autistic person might not be able to tell you why they have gone into meltdown. I am 49 and it is only in the last couple of years that I have gotten a feeling when I am getting anxious/overwhelmed. Before that I would have seemed like I was fine and then an explosion out of nowhere. These days I get the feeling but am so used to masking that people around me still usually can't tell. Even though I now get that warning sign I still a lot of the time can't tell you what is setting it off.
THIS! My parents don’t understand that I don’t understand either and that there doesn’t necessarily need to be a “problem” when these happen. So this is really useful for them to know.
My wife had just realized she was autistic after about 2 years of running a business together. I didn't understand why she became aware so suddenly but this helped me understand. That the demand overcame her capabilities to cope. Thank you
Your videos have been a lifesaver. I am currently in a new relationship with an autistic man, and your video series has helped me to better understand him and manage my own emotions as well. Thank you so much for these!
Thank you for making these videos. It is really helping me get my head around my late diagnosis. Due to a very stressful life to date, I have had plenty of meltdowns. I have gotten to the stage of an autistic burnout!! 😢😢
Thanks for the video: wanted to add-when I'm in sensory overwhelm and have had a meltdown I often really need to lie down in a dark room under a weighted blanket. Sometimes I need long nap. This is the best medicine if I've got into hypoarousal - the quickest fix is just to let my brain rest completely. I'd be so distressed being encouraged to go outside. Sometimes fresh air and sunlight is wonderful - but just wanted to point out that encouraging someone outside post meltdown could very much be construed as a demand- and for someone in recovery from a nervous system stress response that wouldn't be ideal. Different stages of disregulation need different types of movement/recovery in my experience. If I'm building towards meltdown vestibular and proprioceptive input from cycling or walking is really helpful. If I'm post meltdown I'm sometimes unbelievably low and exhausted and profoundly need rest and to very gentley UP regulate with some gentle music, gentle familar tv programme, snacks drinks etc.
Interruption by distraction giving space to regulate. Thank you! I can try that and change of environment that was the trigger.
Always so helpful - thanks Orion!
I love this video so much and what infuriates me when I’m having a meltdown is if someone tells me OK take a deep breath I mean I know they’re trying to help, but when I am in the meltdown mode, my brain doesn’t really listen to anything. If my water bottle is near me at the time, I’m having a meltdown, sure I will drink from it, or if my therapeutic duck is near, I will turn him on and hold him for a while, and have him quack or Trenton on the mute setting, so he doesn’t quack, but still move, or if Shayna’s around, I will talk to Shayna
You know what? Thanks 👍 I just realized looking at your video that I had a meltdown in front of my boss the other week. I got aggressive and threw my gloves in the wall and walked away. Later on he wanted an apology and he got one. but I do realize now that it was wrong of me.
Great
No you have to recharge yourself if a situation is to much i turn all my lights off and take a nap
My question is- is the expression of it “controllable” to any degree ? Over time with age I definitely “express” the release is a super mild way (with a lot of intentionality)
Are there warnings of a meltdown? It is springing up in me seemingly out of nowhere and in embarrassing places and I cannot control it. I know my energy has been drained and hasn’t really ever returned back to my normal capacity but I have difficulty identifying emotion states unless I have time or the signal is quite strong.
Rocking is the only process i have for meltdowns or blankets
I'm still embarrassed to tell people who I am or explaining why I repeat myself or why I cant look at you directly I got diagnosed about 8 months ago my psychiatrist was concerned when I wasn't directly contacting her with eye contact so its hard to explain to the world
If you don’t know that an adult person is diagnosed a meltdown can feel like an attack. This is why it is hard to stay calm. If the other person then blames you for everything then it is even harder. So easier said than done to stay calm
😢
Medicine, thank you
Normal people don't understand our hearing
We are normal people also, there are so many variations in normal people. I think neurotypical, or NT, people may not understand ( if they don't know much about autism).
I don't put this as a criticism, but to say that YOU are not abnormal. You are just different than the majority. What is a "normal" person? I am sure you wouldn't exclude others from that definition, i.e. a wheelchair bound person perhaps, why exclude yourself? You should be respected and valued as much as any other "normal person". Others have a much better chance of understanding if we tell them about how we experience things.
Think about neurotypical people with phobias, others can understand that if they know about the phobia.
Sorry to run on, but I really felt that you were ruling out yourself as normal, you actually are probably exceptional in areas some NT's find difficult.
I need to get to the woods
Oh, I understand this so well. The woods are my calm space. When I was very small I would hold on tight to a tree!
To much sound I can not handle