I got tampo from my Pinay in the beginning of our relationship but honestly I’m ok being single and not tolerating the silent treatment. I made it clear if she’s not going to communicate with me about her feelings and why she is upset with me then I’ll give her back her freedom to find another bf.
@@donquixote1502 If you have invested time into traveling to meet your Pinay and put effort into truly understanding her life and her family background, you should know if your going to be able to tolerate her tampo and find a way to work things out and grow as a couple or know if you want to bail out.
@@donquixote1502 you are inexperienced apparently. This is a tactic very common amongst western females as well. It’s called ghosting in the narcissist personality disorder realm. My ex wife used to pull that crap with me and she got it from her mother, whom would even pull that with her kids. The guy is right on point with telling her that’s not going to be tolerated because it is indeed a form of abuse when someone you care about especially if deeply. That passive aggressive behavior is a form of defiance especially depending upon how far she will take it. A defiant woman is not a female a man worth his salt should deal with. She should humble herself and come to you about why she is upset. If you truly care about her and she’s not being unreasonable or manipulative then you will most likely get to a resolution.
Life is too short to accept Tampo. If the girl wants to waste hours or days of my life for pretty much no reason, she is stealing my time. Why should anyone accept that?
your time isn't being stolen, you have to give your time willingly to them... which begs the question why are you spending time on her tampo? accomplish something else productive or do something that benefits the both of you that she usually does... your time isn't wasted (cuz things still need being done), and she calms down faster.. less time in tampo. (it isn't a que for your own personal time on your own personal interests, selfishly.. it's a que to show you can be active in the together life and even take the initiative on things while she isn't... it'll be paid back with interest from her part).
So, if I can summarize, the main message here is: When confronted with tampo, supplicate, supplicate, supplicate. Act beta, and if that doesn’t work, keep expressing servile beta energy, and eventually, she’ll soften up. Don’t ever speak directly or express your own frustration plainly, but rather, speak the way a woman would, and mention how she’s hurt your feelings. Please correct me if I’m wrong, but this all sounds like a great strategy for slowly inducing me to act more like the man women are not attracted to. I’m a little confused at the moment.
hahaha, well said. Show her you love her, but don't feed her positive attention if she keeps sulking in silence. Let her realize she is only hurting yourself, and then receive her with open arms when she decides she made a mistake.
This is just one of the many reasons I will never again get into a relationship. This crap drives me insane. If you're mad at me and don't have the courtesy or the guts to tell me what the hell is bothering you then to hell with it. Get over it. If you don't have more respect for me than that then you can just stew in silence for all I care. Even if I make an effort to 1) Figure out whatever I did, or didn't do, or whatever. 2) Apologize for having done it, or not done it, even if it was something that never even happened, and 3) beg your forgiveness, and 4) walk on eggshells for a week or two trying not to set you off again, then it's just a matter of time before this happens all over again. There are 3 1/2 billion men in the world. Why not go out and find one that will put up with that crap?
Agreed. The Filipinas in my home country do the same thing. Its toxic. Its drama....and its all the reasons that should be avoided in relationships....not rewarded. Someone remind me what a guy gets out of a relationship like this? Then you run the numbers on why Filipino men have walked away after the first kid. And bingo...men everywhere are walking away.
@@patrickfreeman8257 Yup - but not such a clear answer if you live in the west even if you want to be in the child's future? Hard to believe you can't even be a responsible father if you have a toxic partner. Hence why men are walking away all the way to the far east. Women in Canada are pissed too and I take a little solace in that. Live life to the fullest without toxic manipulators.
Tampo ruined my last relationship. It happened about every 2 weeks and each time it led to her packing her things and threatening to leave. After about 5 months of this I helped her pack and rid myself of that stress. The funny thing is of all the times I went through this I never once knew what the Tampo was for. A relationship will not work without at least decent communication. I am more than willing to apologize if I did something to offend her, but I'm not a mind reader!
Agreed. I had white girl pull this stunt every few weeks in her own way for attention for not having a crystal ball to read her mind....yet should wouldn't use her mouth to communicate. So when she starting packing up things for drama....I did what any kind hearted man would do and assist his girl and get her out of my house. She was so shocked and it felt so good to get rid of the stress. Any relationship that has that kind of stress should be avoided....imagine if your guy buddy pulled this stunt everytime you picked him up to play golf? Kick these people to the curbs.
@@dirtycompass3957 My ex wife used to try this nonsensical "you should just know" every now and then. The most infuriating part of it all was when the answer and/or resolution was finally reached in each case, I would find out that more than 3 out of 4 times it wasn't even something that I did. Sometimes it was her and she just forgot, or she misunderstood something and expected that I should "jUsT kNoW" the solution to her imagined problem. Anyway.... She's homeless now, so apparently no one else was willing to put up with her, either.
@@Rubeauti woman are really hard to please Plus alot of drama Every time she go shopping She want me to hold the stuff She bought instead of using the basket or cart
The very first time that a woman threatens to leave...... do not give her the choice. Make her leave. Make her pack her things and leave your home. Either she will go away or come back begging to be forgiven. If you choose to allow her back into your home, let her know that she just got her only chance back and the next time she threatens to leave.....she will leave and there will be no more options. The reason I allow for this first chance back is because boundaries have to be tested to be established. If she never threatens to leave, then it will never be tested. If she threatens the first time, then you can show her that this behavior is not acceptable and you should make HER request to be forgiven and allowed back, and then if she ever does it again, then she knew what to expect. It was her decision to threaten the second time and now she has to leave and find a new chapter in her life without you. It is natural for women to test the limits of acceptable behavior so that they understand what is acceptable in your relationship. It is the man's responsibility to establish what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. Just like a child who will only clean their bedroom enough so that you will allow them to go outside and play..... women are emotional children and they test the limits. If women were emotional adults then they would behave properly on their own volition and would not need to test the limits.
Tampo is something that many foreigners struggle with, …or more exactly don’t want to deal with. It’s a cultural difference that is difficult to accept when in our world we expect to talk things out, even if it ends in an argument to reach a conclusion. Sucking up to a girl is seen as weak for Western guys. They might learn to accept it, but they will never like it. Thanks for the advice, and understanding of it though, any knowledge is helpful.
When I get any of these bad treatments from my wife, I take my jacket, car keys a drive away, I Will enjoy my time alone without problems, go to eat in restaurant, I may come back home after many hours, or if she had very bad tantrum, I will drive to the cabin at the woods and sleep there overnight. Let her cool down and enjoy her time without me.
Tampon is something all women do across the world. I get it's part of female nature. There are differences between men and women and both should work together to grow together instead of growing apart. Both are responsible to make a relationship work. When your woman gets emotional and upset at you, understand this is a time to make your women feel loved and appreciated and dig at the root of the problem. Soften her up as Rubi says. But if the woman is just been manipulative and spoiled then that's a whole different story. True love, compassion needs to exist between the two to make a relationship work. It takes a real man and a real woman with a desire to give and not just take.
So what I got from your vlog is that Filipinas have developed this passive aggressive behavior to an art form? When I was married to my EX she used to try this with me and, to be honest, I relished it. I didn't have to hear anything and I would just give her enough rope that she'd eventually hang herself. Most of the time it was when I got home a little later than usual from work and she'd make all kinds of accusations for me being late. Most of the time it was a traffic accident that caused the delay, but she almost immediately went to me cheating ( really? In just 5-10 minutes??) I found out eventually that everything she accused me of was a case of guilty conscience as I became ill one day at work and came home early to catch her in the act of cheating on me! Needless to say that I immediately divorced her lying, cheating self. I've been wondering how you Filipinas are and this is very informative. Glad to see you finally make a new video.
@@Rubeauti I was surprised when I saw that you had responded to my comment so quickly. I've been considering going to the Philippines to possibly find a loving Filipina bride, but I'm not sure if I will. For all the positive traits that I hear of there seem to be almost as many drawbacks as well. The point is moot anyway until the Philippines rescind the Covid vaccine requirements for entry to your country. I am unvaccinated and will remain so especially in light of all the issues that have arisen from them. By the way, I have never gotten Covid and I am healthy!
@@clydeallen8681 very wise decision. I’m in the same boat my friend. Similar experiences with an ex and I know for sure that silent treatment crap is not something I will ever tolerate from a woman again. It’s definitely a form of abuse and she is “punishing” you with it. It is not in her place as my subordinate to “punish” me with her silent defiance. You’re also making the right decision on that vaccine 💩. I’m also pure blood and there’s no way I’m complying with that bull 💩. Everyone including their govt should know at this point that was a poorly executed scam demon and it only worked on certain groups of people. All of a sudden it’s no longer topic of conversation sense they’ve received such massive resistance and backlash for pulling that 💩.
Rubeauti, Pea did a vlog comparing Thailand to PI and I have since seen another respected vlogger pointing out that Thailand has a cheaper cost of living than PI. The upside of PI is the common usage of English (not so in Thailand). The upside of Thailand is better internet, infrastructure (power reliability, water quality etc), lower cost of living and the lack of TAMPO. As a soon to be expat from an English speaking country trying to decide between PI and Thailand the more vlogs I watch pointing out tampo and other downsides of PI the more I am thinking it may to be time to learn a foreign language. Thank you for being so upfront on the issues foreigners face having a relationship with a Pinay. God Bless.
You can also find your wife from Philippines and still move to thailand with her, enjoy all the benefits of Thailand and avoid the problems with thai girls, for them money is number 1 in the world and they know how to separate western guy from his money.
I once complained to a friend that I was receiving the silent treatment from my wife... He told me that he doesn't consider that a problem, but a vacation!
Tampo might be a huge reason why a western guy leaves the Filipina. It's OK to withdraw to cool down for 20 minutes or so, before telling your partner what upset you. Someone with the habit of TAMPO is not for me, I've had enough of that here in Sweden even within my family.
My Filipina and I came up with a solution to avoid Tampo. Whenever she feels the urge to give me the silent treatment she goes into our bathroom and turns on the water in the shower and waits for me. I go to her and we get undressed and get into the shower together without saying a word. We do what you expect in the shower and then when we get out we dry each other off. After that she lays on our bed and I rub her favourite lotion all over her. After that I listen to what she has to say about whatever the problem was and that’s all. We then go back to being on good terms and this works for us. 😅❤
because it's a typical behaviour of childish / inmature or manipulative, narcissistic women. most Pinay are young, pretty and.. narcissistic (making selfies, expecting only positive feedback, getting away with their bad actions, etc.) first they overreact, then tampo (ignoring), later aggression - Filipino drama can kill love :(
This is like one of the worst things to do in a relationship, ask any psychologist. When your communication relies on mind-reading, you're already setting yourself up for failure.
@@destroyermaker Sure, if both parties are self-aware enough. But most of the time it'll just lead to a never-ending battle of egos that will eventually consume the whole relationship.
Yeah. Sometimes I won't see her for days, even though we are in the same house. Screw the lambing for her. I keep telling her I'm doing the lambing for me, which will be a boat. 😂😂😂
Tampo can go on for a week for no logical reason, best way to fix this problem or minimise it, is to mirror her actions,trust me I have had 22 years of trying to solve this problem. They hate it when you tampo them and it ends much quicker if you use this method.
I have accepted and adapted to many aspects of Filipino culture. Tampo will NEVER be one of them, I will move on. Your advice is directly out of the radical feminist playbook- Submit, bow, appease, apologize, buy gift, for what? For her to become encouraged by your submissive behavior? Then learn to do it again and again right before something important to you is about to happen? Like a big purchase or picking up good friends or family at the airport coming from your home country? Or other stressful events? These are times when you want her support the most. I will never tolerate that crap. Time to easily get a fresh new girl.
Yes. Agreed. Everyone needs to work on their emotional intelligence. Cultural differences is not an excuse for poor behaviour and bad conflict management.
What if you married her and she pulls the tampo while waiting for the spousal visa. At 40 divorce ain't new to me but being played is enough perhaps the wester culture is seeping into thier values
I am an American engaged to a Filipina and I have found your videos very helpful in understanding many of the cultural differences between us. Thank You !!!
I understand this tendency to try and manipulate a guy into her "touchy" point of view, my ex Russki wife did it a lot. Not that big a deal. But... At some point your Filipina also needs to understand your western culture too, where this is considered childish. There should be a balance. If she is never willing to make a few emotional compromises, then, with me, it will be goodbye, every man needs to decide for himself what to do. The comments of "its cute.." really, you must be so desperate, you'll put up with anything. No relationship can survive, if the guy ( or girl ) is the one doing all the compromising.
I get that it's a cultural thing, but relationships are built upon mutual trust, mutual respect, and of course communication. Relying on a tactic like Tampo and withdrawing communication is something that I would imagine being long term detrimental. That said, I do agree with taking some time to let both sides cool off.
Just bc tampo is culturally accepted, doesn't detract away from the fact that it is still manipulative and emotional abuse in varying degrees. Tampo can and has caused a lot of damage to relationships. It can very easily be used to take advantage of others. Depending on how often tampo is used it puts one partner at the mercy of another. That’s not love. Just scrolling through some of the comments and you'll see what guys have had to go through and why they had enough.
The reason why Tampo is seen as such a toxic technique to fixing conflict/resolution type scenarios with Western guys is that even though it's a culture thing Filipinas have grown up with, it doesn't magically make us psychics and magical mind readers.That and the fact that Tampo can too easily be weaponized as a tool for manipulation in worse case scenario. The problem with using Tampo on foreigners is that it's used with the implied assumption of "You should know how to fix this problem or know what I want without me communicating this information to you!" A younger guy might tolerate her Tampo for a good long time while an older guy might just check out of the relationship altogether. Part of the issue for Filipinas wanting to get serious with westerners is Tampo should be absolutely used as a LAST RESORT method and NOT your first move. Communication about one's thoughts and feelings at all times is essential. Tampo isn't something one should just "get used to" simply because it's a "culture thing" absolutely not! Tampo makes a problems cyclical in nature. Something upsets the Filipina, she stops talking and does not explain the issue, time goes by things "go back to normal" and the cycle repeats again. Nothing was learned in that cycle. Tampo in relationships with westerners either gets broken out of the Filipina or it breaks the relationship entirely. The mindset needs to be "WE need to fix this issue!" not "YOU need to fix this issue! I did nothing wrong!" Tampo is the tactic of an immature girl not a mature woman. We're in this relationship together so we both need to be adults about it and "FIX IT TOGETHER!"
Thank you for your insight! 🤗 Communication is key in any relationship, regardless of culture. It's important for us to understand each other and respect each other's differences.
It occurs to me at 66 years of age to make this observation. Catholicism can be interpreted as a co-dependent form of behavior. Co-dependency can keep a human being miserable and even insane and kill you if you do not develop a better , saner way of life. The sulk and the temper tantrum are not for someone who wants sanity and serenity in their life. Do not follow a path of being in control. Rather, set sane boundaries, communicate what those boundaries are and then stand by them while at the same time allowing room for positive interaction and personal growth. You can count on people to be people. If I am dating or even in a LTR with someone who is 30 to 50 years old, I do not expect her to be as mature as myself. She will act her age. So expect it. Coming from A society where codependecy is the norm will not help. Police your own back yard and do not take another's inventory. I hope this helps. Peace.
Agree with you on a lot, but this one I don't. If she's not mature enough to speak up then I won't put on the effort to try to resolve something I'm blindingly guessing what it is.
It’s a childish, immature and frustrating behavior having dealt with it for 17 years now. I’d rather have a partner that would just engage me in a good old fashioned argument. This behavior is not productive for accomplishing anything in your daily life.
Tampo is ok if it happens for a few days because it prevents unwanted cursing, uncalled insults, public emabarassment and psychological trauma during the height of anger. Please stop finding a filipina girl friend if you are selfish, not patient and not willing to make an effort to understand them. Please find a filipino buddy and ask for advises if you encounter this kind of problems believe me we are already used to it. A few filipino men actually like their gf having tampo because for them it's rewarding to know how far you can understand your gf even without saying anything.
I like your videos, I am adjusting to the culture in Mindoro. I have been in the Philippines for 3 months now and I grew up in the US and watching your videos are helpful.
I once remarked to another Filipina TH-camr that I thought it might be a mark of emotional maturity to be able to take a step back, stop the angry come-back before it leaves your lips, and take a break until you calm down rather than making bigger mistakes. I can still look at Tampo that way but I realize that not all Filipina's have such pure motives. It can be a means of manipulation (to "win" an argument even when you know you are wrong... or to get a "gift", given under coersion, etc.). Understanding which type of reaction it is probably involves getting to know that particular Filipina better (while she is getting to know you better at the same time, including what you will put up with and what you won't). Luckily, I am patient, kind, and understanding... up to a point. Cross that point and you will learn something very different about me -- not negative, not angry, not violent, but unbelievably firm in my resolve. I am more likely to have someone "walk all over me" (sometimes to avoid conflict or because I really don't think the topic is worth getting that upset over (which is my general bias)) than to treat someone else in the same fashion or lash out at them. BUT I have also learned to set firm boundaries and keep them when I need to and good luck getting back on MY good side once you push me past the limitations of what I consider decent or reasonable behavior! LOL (P.S. -- Some people say this is a trait of Leos or INFJ personality types generally -- amazingly tolerant... up to a point and then get ready for the deep freeze treatment that could last days, weeks, months, etc., or never recover from if you push too far). I am not like most people, so I try to make allowances for the differences and be extra empathetic and understanding... it's like I am from a different culture than everyone else on the planet, so I always have those "Cultural Differences", except I experience it with everyone, even my own family. But take advantage of my kind nature on a regular basis and you could come home to an empty house... with fair, advanced warnings given, of course. 😨😥 P.P.S. -- I know you said you don't believe in these things (Tarot), but my Mother believed in it, so I have tried to give it a fair "shake" and I have found it can be a great tool for personal psychological insight if nothing else. This Leo tarot reading from today pretty much sums up where I am at now and emphasizes what I have been talking about here: th-cam.com/video/RyQsAnJTw6I/w-d-xo.html
You are right, this happens in others parts of the world and is common among children, how about talking, no need for lengthy justifications. With so many women in the Philippines there's no need to put up with this.
Oh Rebeauti, you are so sweet the way you describe tampo. I have not experienced this with my fiance' yet. But there is always a first time,.... right? Amazing as it is to some people, we just have a sweet loving relationship with no disagreement or confrontation. I am hopeful for our future together ❤.
It's ok for a person to need a little time to their self or remain silent - temporarily - to wait until they are in a better state to communicate in a healthy way. The positive suggestions here are good for that, but I would always push it toward encouraging communication and not allowing a prolonged occurrence. But if it is being used as a manipulation & control tactic, caving to that will emasculate you as a man in the relationship and sour her against you for her being able to steal control. Set boundaries and do not tolerate that unless you want to eventually lose her. (coming from someone who is naturally too compassionate and has had to learn _the hard way_ that women thrive within boundaries and not without).
I have to say I think this "Tampo" thing is alien to western culture, one could view it as childish, verbal communication rectifies problems, not acting as a spoilt ten year old child. The trying to get around the "Tampo" by the partner is called grovelling, once a child realises they get what they want by hissy fits then that's the future. Sorry but for me it would wear me down completely. Incidentally the clip of the woman hitting the man in the mall with the ukulele, she has to be Thai. 🤣🤣🤣
Most foreigners particularly Americans we'll put up with tample some may even find it cutesy. But there are a number of Filipinas who use this tactic to the extreme period to those women I Wood Warrn... 2 can play that game. Foreigners particularly Americans are very highly sought after by Filipino women so when using tample they should be very careful not to overdo it lest they lose their foreigner. Because the fact is if he doesn't like him there are plenty of other women who will take her place
Oh yes , I am very direct and confrontational when something goes wrong. Not to be rude or callous but because I dont have time to guess what happened and walk on eggshells until I figure it out. Men in the west value peace and co-operation in the home life.
Some women in the US do this as well, maybe not to such an extent. By the way, how are your injuries healing from your bike accident? I hope you're doing much better ❤
I love ur delivery. One thing I noticed when I went to your country is how vibrant the mall experience is. Here in America they are disappearing very quickly. They have been declining for a while, but Covid seemed to speed things up. More people are shopping online and people still craving the mall experience, but the stores have to increase their price so the can cover the expenses of leasing the space. So I think overall people aren't willing to pay inflated prices just to be able to go to a brick n mortar place just to try the garments on. About the Tampo, I made it clear from the beginning that I wasn't going to play that game. So if this childish behavior is her plan , it's a waste of time because she knows as well as I do where the door is.
If I did something wrong (and know it) I'll kiss up to make up. But. If I have no idea and she is ignoring me, pouting, not responding at all? I give her 15 minutes to snap out of it or I'll be looking for another girl. Being mad is one thing, being petty mad is not tolerated, regardless of her culture.
So basically Tampo is similar to hormones behavior, when my partner used to do Tampo I would blame it to her hormones, and I even send her articles about how to deal with hormones changes and postpartum, lol But now I know is her Tampo, because she shows the same signs you mention. From now on I will just tease her that is her Tampo acting up, good thing it sounds like Tampon so I can joke about that, most of the time she laughs on my hormones jokes because I say it in a way that is soft and joking not in a hurtful way.
@@Rubeauti it does most of the time, but the few times when her Tampo is hardcore she will get upset, and in that case I will stop with my jokes, and let her know to not let her hormones, I mean her Tampo control her. She appreciates my understanding, the fact that I know she is having those hormones or postpartum moments.
Tampo sounds a lot like what western psychologist call “Narcissistic Control”-and in effect, Filipinas are turning their romantic partners into sources of “Narcissistic Supply”. I’ve noticed a pattern of Narcissistic (and sometimes Malignant Narcissistic) tendencies within the matriarchal Filipino culture. One Filipina I met even drove her western husband to suicide with her manipulation and control. Some of these “dark” narcissistic traits include blame shifting, a sense of entitlement, a total lack of Empathy, a belief of one’s own superiority over others, a lack of accountability, gaslighting and many other toxic psychological traits.
Yes, to have marry a Filipina from Manticao and currently divorcing her, a psychologist said to me that She was a "covert vulnerable narcissist", and all her family was a narcissistic family. What I hate from filipino culture, it is like a covert Narc paradise where every bad behaviour is tolerated in the culture.
@@simonbeausoleil9724 it almost seems like narcissistic behavior is incentivized in the Philippines 🇵🇭 mind blown 🤯. Locals call it “toxic Filipino culture”.
Amor propio = Narcisstic way of life Face = Narcissistic persona Saving face = Narcissistic injury Passive-aggressive = Narcissistic rage that can be the accepted Tampururót Tampo = Silent treatment Tampuhan = Accepted silent treatment in a couple Lambing = To never have wrong May sumpong = To accept the irresponsability of others (like all sumpong stuff) Hiya = The Narcissistic pride that we must never hurt (kahihiyan) Balat-sibuyas = Onion-skinned, cannot accept to be wrong or criticism Utang na Loob = Weapon of a narcissistic family, to take everything for granted
@@simonbeausoleil9724 Same story, I'm divorcing a covert Narc Filipina that was doing silent treatment for her own wrong behaviour...I have marry her, because we were from the same Christian faith, but after this, I have found over internet her lesbian story, her other lies...She was about to be accepted to become Permanent Resident in Canada. She Beginned to do a tampo because I was not happy at her to not update me for 5 days and She answered me with a Whatsapp video were She is even able to contradict herself in her lies...She beginned an unlimited tampo, I got enough, I said everything to her own Sister(The only one working to bring a revenue in her family). Her Sister said to me that She was currently on a silent treatment from her since months(They are all in the same house)...after this I confronted her parents and bring all the story in front of her own Pastor. She have flee away for months from her own family, her parents try to hide everything for the sake of the Saving Face and Hiya... but lucky me, her Pastor forced her to take the blame for the divorce.(Something important in my faith)
If Filipinas want to give the silent treatment with foreigners, especially indefinitly and with no explanation, then they need to know that their behavior is a huge negative and very likely to result in a "bye, bye" for good . The alternative to silence is not necessarily an emotional argument but a rational discussion to resolve an issue or a better understanding of each other with foreigners . I know this from experience. I now have a wonderful Filipina wife who knows how to better understand me and wants me to understand her better. That's the best alternative to tampo.
@@thebackforty939 At the risk of repeating myself, an indefinite and unexplained silence is a non-starter. That is, "Goodbye, we will never be compatible."
Not in the Netherlands. Dutch women speak their mind. If they don’t, they’ve checked out of the relationship already and are waiting for a good moment to break up.
My Filipina tried this once with me and I told her we are too old for that childish bullshit. If you want me to do something for you the ask me. If I pissed you off tell me. I'm not a mind reader and that kind of attitude will make me leave you permanently. After that we say what's on our minds and don't hide anything and communicate with each other. It's that simple guys. Don't let her act that way or she will do it all the time and you'll be pissed off at her and yourself. Communicate and be adults. Sulking and being a crybaby isn't the way to handle things ladies
Well that won't work cuz she gets the same treatment from me and my girl knows this already and she doesn't even try xD what i recommended is to work on good communication between partners, knowing each other, knowing what we like and what we don't. so we are ready for the "tougher" times. it always have to be 50/50
To all foreigners please don't look for Filipinas if you can't deal with tampo, My husband knows how to deal with my tampo, he always chat me i love you and I miss you and emoji of crying face ( it melts my heart, after I'm ok ), sometimes my favorite food, sometimes a flower in our garden , sometimes he use our daughter, my daughter giving a note that it says I love you mommy don't make TAMPO we're hungry 😂, sometimes he find ways to make me laugh.. usually my tampo it takes only few hours, I'm very lucky to my husband he didn't find my tampo as a childish thing. He know Filipino culture well because most of his friends is Filipino.
Oh Yeah my ex girlfriend, is back home in the Philippines because of Tampo, it was just a nightmare to be with her, so she got a one way ticket home, now living happily after that 😀
This silent treatment could cause issues with western men. For instance, I would be more than happy to carry the shopping bags or most of them if she simply asked me and there would be no hard feelings at all. However, the silent treatment is a negative behavior in my opinion and I would not like it at all. If a woman acts like a child, then she should not be surprised to be treated as a child. When people originate from different cultures they need to adapt to each other..... they should meet halfway to make the relationship as successful as possible. It is a good idea to seek to find the things which are most important to each culture and adapt to them in exchange for the same efforts from your partner.
silent treatment is a form of narcissism, If she does that to you often, send her packing because over time it will get worse and i know that from experience. Narcissists are psychologically damaging to their partners and that damage can fuck you up for years
I have been subject to tampo 50 times in the first 3 years of our relationship. And in my view it is just a power fight. Rooted in jealousy. And always the only advice we men get is to bend over backwards to her whims and lower yourself to her childish behavior. While all the reason you are here is to escape feminism attitude from the western women. Needless to say I can't handle tampo very well. And after putting up with it for 2 or 3 years she finally gave up on it and we hardly have tampo anymore. Kudos to myself for trying so long to make it work. If she had a tampo I go beer... Sulk with yourself.
My wife had tampo when I got on to for doing something that I told her not to do several times. She got mad at me and wouldn't speak to me. I went about my business and let her sulk. I even went out to dinner without her. Magic tampo cured
Filipinas should be more understanding of the real world instead of expecting the whole world to do as they want... it's not all about the Filipina's wants and needs.. what about their foreign partner's wants and needs?
I can honestly say it reeks of bi-polar exhibitions. Also a way to tell you which friend she does not approve of. Blantant disregard of marriage vows. Sinister and scandalous because i love her so much and hate seeing her distraught. Only time and patience works. Salamat sa akong pasensya, salamat sa imong pasensya.
I Rubeauti. Good video. I am one of the people that think it is kind of childish. How can you know the problem if your partner will not talk about it and just give the silent treatment. It is best to talk about things so you can understand each other better. Keeping it all inside is not a good thing and sometimes can make matters worse. I am also thinking too much tampo will drive the guy away and then the girl is left with nothing. Keep smiling and stay safe
@@Rubeauti you should check out the effects on adult men who were raised by a narcissist mother. They tend to be people pleasers, lack confidence, make poor life decisions and tend to go with the flow to avoid conflict rather than standing up for themselves and carry a lot of repressed guilt, shame and anger. When dating, a narcissist will use "love bombing" to get you attached and then switch to bad behavior until you're ready to leave. Then repeat the love bombing stage. It keeps the victim confused allowing the narcissist to keep control over them. But in the parent child relationship. The child is dependant on the parent without escape. So the child learns very very early that there thoughts and feelings don't matter so rather than learning how to think for themselves. They learn that they are responsible for the parents moods to survive. Does any of that sound familiar?
@@Rubeauti I'll also add in a narcissistic family with more than one child. The children take up different rolls. The scapegoat is what I described in my other comment. Other child roles would "the golden child" who can't do no wrong in the parents eyes. "The forgotten child" would be the one that goes unnoticed for the most part because they learned from the treatment of the scapegoat.
Nakakalokaaa! Hahaha you nailed it! Bakit ngayon lang 'tong content na 'to? Char!😆 Mixed emotions ako title palang dhai! I had a sad experience before, mistakenly expressed tampo, 'cause before that, i often use it in a "pabebe way". Inaway nya 'ko malala dhai! Since that day inaavoid ko na magtampo, kahit totoo na!😅 it was sad but a lesson for both of us i think. He doesnt like it and thinks it's an immature way. Kaya i just avoid expressing tampo as much as i can. He shows concern and keeps on checking and giving me reassurances anyway, when he suddenly notice a little change in my mood. Kaya i dont feel like my tampo emotions is being invalidated kahit na i really dont express it too much. So i can say we're both meeting each other halfway on this. We're still in a "getting-to-know-each-other" stage, happily. It's him who introduced you to me btw. Napa- subscribe tuloy ako sayo bruha ka!😆❤❤❤
That's a mighty purty belly button , honey child! LOL. Good conversation. Just take her hand, sit her down, and give her your undivided attention. Has always worked for me. Be sincere, let her know you are sorry, and give her a little space. Love will overcome. Much easier to solve problems if the love is there.
I have to admit, I got this treatment cause I didn't rush to give her "the first Kiss" that's something I don't rush nor just jump her cause how I feel, I never got signs that is what she wanted and was waiting for. Also I'm not a forcefull man.
@@champagneshade6249 4 days after we met in person we talked online for about a year before I went to the Philippines with her uncle. She did ask me on the 3rd day if I was gay and was confused when she asked me, I said NO I guess she thought I wasn't interested in her cause I didn't make a move on her.
As a foreigner, I literally never deal with Tampo. Ignore her right back and that immature behavior lasts about 2 hours at the most. Her need for attention will end that Tampo real quick! No Suyo from me unless she acts right.
"I like to burp in restaurants. It's just my culture." NO! This is not how it goes. If you have bad behavior it has to be fixed, not coddled. A video like this should have condemned the behavior at the beginning. It's childish and destructive for relationships and that's it. Don't use culture as an excuse. When you experience it, don't expect that person to change. Many victims have learned this the hard way. Also, it's interesting that this was emphasized to be a Filipina trait, but then white couples are used in several of the clips.
It is a human trait, it is just a trait that is more common in Filipinas because we usually train this behavior out of people when they are children in the west because it isn't ok to act immature like this but if you listen they aren't as confrontational as we are in the west they are a polite and conformist society like most of the east in which they view confrontation as rude, and stepping out of line where we view it as productive and corrective. We view this type of behavior as childish and and selfish because how can you expect someone to read your mind.
@@Sumoniggro You are taking a very empathetic view and that is a valuable characteristic to have. I love Asian culture and the welcoming and non-confrontational people is a large part of why I'm anxious to escape the US and go to the Philippines, Thailand, etc., where I would fit in better. My original comment comes from personal experience dealing with that part of their personality and I think everyone benefits if they overcame their upbringing and adjusted that habit. (I probably have some habits to adjust also...hehe).
This was very informative! Thank you very much!♥ I have a question for you. I have a background in clinical psychology, so I'm wondering if levels and severity of tampo vary, depending on Philippine regions. For example: is this Filipina behavior more prevalent in those who were raised larger cities, or in those who were raised in more rural areas? Or is region not a factor at all? Because I would tend to think that at least some degree of Western culture would permeate throughout the populace of larger cities.
@@Rubeauti, thank you for your prompt answer!🥰 I guess we both were right. Given this revelation (thank you so much), I think I will stick with the Provinces as I'm an American who, in terms of a potential romance, wants to get away from modernized Western women. Especially modern American women. That is, of course, if this recession ever ends and I can finally afford a plane ticket to the Philippines.😅😁
@@JosephLupoli An interesting point.... I'd prefer a lady in Province too, but then worry what happens if she is not the one for me. Everyone there would know her business...unlike in city! A failed romance would hit her harder. Plus they are far harder to meet. 😂
@@daveh5947, yes. You also make a great point!👍 I suppose I might study a potential location which could offer the best of both worlds. Maybe a mid-sized city that's still fairly close to the provinces.
@@JosephLupoli My lady is from the capital and she's far from westernized (a bit though because she's travelled for work). She's the most amazing woman I've ever met, so I certainly wouldn't discourage anyone from looking in a city.
Thank you so much for this information. I find it very valuable. Your direct delivery and complete explanation of your content are inspiring to me in my relationship with the Filipina I love. You almost make me want to become the subject of and target of her tampo just so I can respond properly in the way you describe. Honest and accurate communication is so important! Thank you again.
To me, there is a clear and unambiguous difference between the normal periodic need for a little alone time, and Tampo, because the latter means their issue never gets revealed and resolved, which is both stupid and self defeating. Communication is the foundation of any LTR/Marriage. If they cant/wont snap out of it and communicate, they're GONE. I'd tell them that right up front, as a red line that must never be crossed.
hi rubeauti, oh dear i would be no good with a Filipino because if she suspected or thought i had done something wrong and wont tell me then tough i would just put my coat on and go out for the evening then go off to work the next day, she has the problem not me, i treat women as equal i encourage them to say what's on their mind, always sit down and talk about a problem saying nothing only lets it fester and grow Bigger in the mind and that makes things worse, but very good choice of topic
Great video, now I know that the silent treatment my ex-wife used to give me has a name. I'm normally a quiet person, so the silence doesn't bother me.
Me either! In fact, I love it when I get a break! Not to mention I can go for days without talking or even worry about anything and my Filipina learned it has zero affect on me.....which the lack of reaction to her Tampo caused her to display even more Tampo by cleaning the house! Win/Win!
Over the many years i have been travelling to the Philippines I have met many wonderful and amazing woman until they hit the point of Tampo and Jealousy! I call them weapons of mass destruction! When I question woman on these two matters the general response I get is but Sir, this is very much part of our culture!. I go onto explain this kind of behaviour is not part of my culture and i go on to explain the harm and damage it can cause to a healthy meaningful relationship! I find the whole experience of Tampo and Jealousy so mentally and emotionally draining as well as a waste of valuable time. The Solution that works for me is have amazing experiences with amazing people creating unforgettable memories with people in the Philippines as a Single man. Good luck to the many guys who chose to endure the whole Tampo and Jealousy thing and all the stress and frustrations that come with it!
I really like watching your videos and I think they are very informative. However.... when watching this one, it becomes easy to see how some cross cultural relationships can go to shit quickly! Most western men are just NOT gonna kiss a woman's ass just because she throws a little fit and shows her immaturity! I agree with some of the other comments that that is a quick way to lose your guy altogether, unless he already has a lot of time invested into the relationship! I think most good men who realize their value would definitely not put up with being treated that way; let alone apologize and buy her gifts for doing so. While I get that it is part of your culture, relationships go both ways so don't be surprised when your guy loses interest and ends up holding someone else"s hand later. If you want a good partner, you need to BE A GOOD PARTNER! Learn to communicate better! Use your words.
Good video, even if i allready did know about this and the terrible utang na loob. Two things what im affraid can destroy a relationshio with a philippine women.
Wow, you have excellence in editing. You master this so quickly. Most impressive indeed. I have not yet been to the Philippines or met a Filipina. But I have studied the Philippines culture for some time. There are two things to do if you are lucky to meet a Filipina. And you need to do it early in your relationship. 1. Tell her how you will handle your money, and set the ground rules. Will you or will you not give her any allowance and if you want to support her family! Make this very clear. 2. Talk about Tampo before it happens. Give your view about how to act when feelings are hurt or you are angry. Ok, that is my humble view. ❤
I got tampo from my Pinay in the beginning of our relationship but honestly I’m ok being single and not tolerating the silent treatment. I made it clear if she’s not going to communicate with me about her feelings and why she is upset with me then I’ll give her back her freedom to find another bf.
She didn´t invent this reaction, it´s something she has grown up with. If you are a good man and really love your gf. You work this out.
@@donquixote1502 If you have invested time into traveling to meet your Pinay and put effort into truly understanding her life and her family background, you should know if your going to be able to tolerate her tampo and find a way to work things out and grow as a couple or know if you want to bail out.
@@donquixote1502 you are inexperienced apparently. This is a tactic very common amongst western females as well. It’s called ghosting in the narcissist personality disorder realm. My ex wife used to pull that crap with me and she got it from her mother, whom would even pull that with her kids. The guy is right on point with telling her that’s not going to be tolerated because it is indeed a form of abuse when someone you care about especially if deeply. That passive aggressive behavior is a form of defiance especially depending upon how far she will take it. A defiant woman is not a female a man worth his salt should deal with. She should humble herself and come to you about why she is upset. If you truly care about her and she’s not being unreasonable or manipulative then you will most likely get to a resolution.
@@dezcuts5319 Exactly. I was raised by a narcissist mother and this behavior is a huge red flag to me to say the least
@@nashvilleoutlaw Give me the cold shoulder, and I'll go get a cold beer.
Life is too short to accept Tampo. If the girl wants to waste hours or days of my life for pretty much no reason, she is stealing my time. Why should anyone accept that?
your time isn't being stolen, you have to give your time willingly to them... which begs the question why are you spending time on her tampo? accomplish something else productive or do something that benefits the both of you that she usually does... your time isn't wasted (cuz things still need being done), and she calms down faster.. less time in tampo. (it isn't a que for your own personal time on your own personal interests, selfishly.. it's a que to show you can be active in the together life and even take the initiative on things while she isn't... it'll be paid back with interest from her part).
Also true
I like this, I simply use the time to give us both a break. Couples need their own time.
So, if I can summarize, the main message here is: When confronted with tampo, supplicate, supplicate, supplicate. Act beta, and if that doesn’t work, keep expressing servile beta energy, and eventually, she’ll soften up. Don’t ever speak directly or express your own frustration plainly, but rather, speak the way a woman would, and mention how she’s hurt your feelings.
Please correct me if I’m wrong, but this all sounds like a great strategy for slowly inducing me to act more like the man women are not attracted to. I’m a little confused at the moment.
hahaha, well said. Show her you love her, but don't feed her positive attention if she keeps sulking in silence. Let her realize she is only hurting yourself, and then receive her with open arms when she decides she made a mistake.
This is just one of the many reasons I will never again get into a relationship. This crap drives me insane. If you're mad at me and don't have the courtesy or the guts to tell me what the hell is bothering you then to hell with it. Get over it. If you don't have more respect for me than that then you can just stew in silence for all I care. Even if I make an effort to 1) Figure out whatever I did, or didn't do, or whatever. 2) Apologize for having done it, or not done it, even if it was something that never even happened, and 3) beg your forgiveness, and 4) walk on eggshells for a week or two trying not to set you off again, then it's just a matter of time before this happens all over again. There are 3 1/2 billion men in the world. Why not go out and find one that will put up with that crap?
Agreed. The Filipinas in my home country do the same thing. Its toxic. Its drama....and its all the reasons that should be avoided in relationships....not rewarded. Someone remind me what a guy gets out of a relationship like this? Then you run the numbers on why Filipino men have walked away after the first kid. And bingo...men everywhere are walking away.
@@dirtycompass3957 Hey, walking away from a toxic woman - totally understandable. Walking away from the child...inexcusable
@@patrickfreeman8257 Yup - but not such a clear answer if you live in the west even if you want to be in the child's future? Hard to believe you can't even be a responsible father if you have a toxic partner. Hence why men are walking away all the way to the far east. Women in Canada are pissed too and I take a little solace in that. Live life to the fullest without toxic manipulators.
Tampo ruined my last relationship. It happened about every 2 weeks and each time it led to her packing her things and threatening to leave. After about 5 months of this I helped her pack and rid myself of that stress. The funny thing is of all the times I went through this I never once knew what the Tampo was for. A relationship will not work without at least decent communication. I am more than willing to apologize if I did something to offend her, but I'm not a mind reader!
Agreed. I had white girl pull this stunt every few weeks in her own way for attention for not having a crystal ball to read her mind....yet should wouldn't use her mouth to communicate. So when she starting packing up things for drama....I did what any kind hearted man would do and assist his girl and get her out of my house. She was so shocked and it felt so good to get rid of the stress. Any relationship that has that kind of stress should be avoided....imagine if your guy buddy pulled this stunt everytime you picked him up to play golf? Kick these people to the curbs.
@@dirtycompass3957
My ex wife used to try this nonsensical "you should just know" every now and then. The most infuriating part of it all was when the answer and/or resolution was finally reached in each case, I would find out that more than 3 out of 4 times it wasn't even something that I did. Sometimes it was her and she just forgot, or she misunderstood something and expected that I should "jUsT kNoW" the solution to her imagined problem.
Anyway.... She's homeless now, so apparently no one else was willing to put up with her, either.
@@decwow That is beautiful Karma my good sire lol
@@Rubeauti woman are really hard to please
Plus alot of drama
Every time she go shopping
She want me to hold the stuff
She bought instead of using the basket or cart
The very first time that a woman threatens to leave...... do not give her the choice. Make her leave. Make her pack her things and leave your home.
Either she will go away or come back begging to be forgiven.
If you choose to allow her back into your home, let her know that she just got her only chance back and the next time she threatens to leave.....she will leave and there will be no more options.
The reason I allow for this first chance back is because boundaries have to be tested to be established. If she never threatens to leave, then it will never be tested. If she threatens the first time, then you can show her that this behavior is not acceptable and you should make HER request to be forgiven and allowed back, and then if she ever does it again, then she knew what to expect. It was her decision to threaten the second time and now she has to leave and find a new chapter in her life without you.
It is natural for women to test the limits of acceptable behavior so that they understand what is acceptable in your relationship. It is the man's responsibility to establish what is acceptable and what is not acceptable.
Just like a child who will only clean their bedroom enough so that you will allow them to go outside and play..... women are emotional children and they test the limits. If women were emotional adults then they would behave properly on their own volition and would not need to test the limits.
Tampo is something that many foreigners struggle with, …or more exactly don’t want to deal with. It’s a cultural difference that is difficult to accept when in our world we expect to talk things out, even if it ends in an argument to reach a conclusion. Sucking up to a girl is seen as weak for Western guys. They might learn to accept it, but they will never like it.
Thanks for the advice, and understanding of it though, any knowledge is helpful.
When I get any of these bad treatments from my wife, I take my jacket, car keys a drive away, I Will enjoy my time alone without problems, go to eat in restaurant, I may come back home after many hours, or if she had very bad tantrum, I will drive to the cabin at the woods and sleep there overnight. Let her cool down and enjoy her time without me.
Quite simply, communication is key. Learn it, practice it. Thanks for helping understand the reasons as well
Tampon is something all women do across the world. I get it's part of female nature. There are differences between men and women and both should work together to grow together instead of growing apart. Both are responsible to make a relationship work. When your woman gets emotional and upset at you, understand this is a time to make your women feel loved and appreciated and dig at the root of the problem. Soften her up as Rubi says. But if the woman is just been manipulative and spoiled then that's a whole different story. True love, compassion needs to exist between the two to make a relationship work. It takes a real man and a real woman with a desire to give and not just take.
So what I got from your vlog is that Filipinas have developed this passive aggressive behavior to an art form? When I was married to my EX she used to try this with me and, to be honest, I relished it. I didn't have to hear anything and I would just give her enough rope that she'd eventually hang herself. Most of the time it was when I got home a little later than usual from work and she'd make all kinds of accusations for me being late. Most of the time it was a traffic accident that caused the delay, but she almost immediately went to me cheating ( really? In just 5-10 minutes??) I found out eventually that everything she accused me of was a case of guilty conscience as I became ill one day at work and came home early to catch her in the act of cheating on me! Needless to say that I immediately divorced her lying, cheating self. I've been wondering how you Filipinas are and this is very informative. Glad to see you finally make a new video.
@@Rubeauti I was surprised when I saw that you had responded to my comment so quickly. I've been considering going to the Philippines to possibly find a loving Filipina bride, but I'm not sure if I will. For all the positive traits that I hear of there seem to be almost as many drawbacks as well. The point is moot anyway until the Philippines rescind the Covid vaccine requirements for entry to your country. I am unvaccinated and will remain so especially in light of all the issues that have arisen from them. By the way, I have never gotten Covid and I am healthy!
@@clydeallen8681 very wise decision. I’m in the same boat my friend. Similar experiences with an ex and I know for sure that silent treatment crap is not something I will ever tolerate from a woman again. It’s definitely a form of abuse and she is “punishing” you with it. It is not in her place as my subordinate to “punish” me with her silent defiance. You’re also making the right decision on that vaccine 💩. I’m also pure blood and there’s no way I’m complying with that bull 💩. Everyone including their govt should know at this point that was a poorly executed scam demon and it only worked on certain groups of people. All of a sudden it’s no longer topic of conversation sense they’ve received such massive resistance and backlash for pulling that 💩.
Rubeauti, Pea did a vlog comparing Thailand to PI and I have since seen another respected vlogger pointing out that Thailand has a cheaper cost of living than PI. The upside of PI is the common usage of English (not so in Thailand). The upside of Thailand is better internet, infrastructure (power reliability, water quality etc), lower cost of living and the lack of TAMPO. As a soon to be expat from an English speaking country trying to decide between PI and Thailand the more vlogs I watch pointing out tampo and other downsides of PI the more I am thinking it may to be time to learn a foreign language. Thank you for being so upfront on the issues foreigners face having a relationship with a Pinay. God Bless.
You can also find your wife from Philippines and still move to thailand with her, enjoy all the benefits of Thailand and avoid the problems with thai girls, for them money is number 1 in the world and they know how to separate western guy from his money.
I once complained to a friend that I was receiving the silent treatment from my wife... He told me that he doesn't consider that a problem, but a vacation!
Tampo might be a huge reason why a western guy leaves the Filipina. It's OK to withdraw to cool down for 20 minutes or so, before telling your partner what upset you. Someone with the habit of TAMPO is not for me, I've had enough of that here in Sweden even within my family.
I don't think they actually value the relationship in the first place or they wouldn't do it. They're looking at it like a transaction.
This is “The Kobiashi Maru” of situations with your Filipina. One can only attempt to mitigate the damage.
My Filipina and I came up with a solution to avoid Tampo. Whenever she feels the urge to give me the silent treatment she goes into our bathroom and turns on the water in the shower and waits for me. I go to her and we get undressed and get into the shower together without saying a word. We do what you expect in the shower and then when we get out we dry each other off. After that she lays on our bed and I rub her favourite lotion all over her. After that I listen to what she has to say about whatever the problem was and that’s all. We then go back to being on good terms and this works for us. 😅❤
❤❤
because it's a typical behaviour of childish / inmature or manipulative, narcissistic women.
most Pinay are young, pretty and.. narcissistic (making selfies, expecting only positive feedback, getting away with their bad actions, etc.)
first they overreact, then tampo (ignoring), later aggression - Filipino drama can kill love :(
Thank you for sharing your experience. I understand it can be difficult to navigate relationships. I hope you find peace and happiness.
This is like one of the worst things to do in a relationship, ask any psychologist. When your communication relies on mind-reading, you're already setting yourself up for failure.
It leads to open communication before long.
@@destroyermaker Sure, if both parties are self-aware enough. But most of the time it'll just lead to a never-ending battle of egos that will eventually consume the whole relationship.
@@bradstick3505 You're projecting
@@destroyermaker yeah right
@@destroyermaker read a book
It's childish and shouldn't be tolerated.
I call it tampo timeout. I get a break from the wife. 😂
Never reward bad behavior
Yeah. Sometimes I won't see her for days, even though we are in the same house. Screw the lambing for her. I keep telling her I'm doing the lambing for me, which will be a boat. 😂😂😂
Tampo can go on for a week for no logical reason, best way to fix this problem or minimise it, is to mirror her actions,trust me I have had 22 years of trying to solve this problem. They hate it when you tampo them and it ends much quicker if you use this method.
Yes i have done this many times and it ends immediately
This is what I do too
I have accepted and adapted to many aspects of Filipino culture. Tampo will NEVER be one of them, I will move on. Your advice is directly out of the radical feminist playbook- Submit, bow, appease, apologize, buy gift, for what? For her to become encouraged by your submissive behavior? Then learn to do it again and again right before something important to you is about to happen? Like a big purchase or picking up good friends or family at the airport coming from your home country? Or other stressful events? These are times when you want her support the most. I will never tolerate that crap. Time to easily get a fresh new girl.
Yes. Agreed. Everyone needs to work on their emotional intelligence. Cultural differences is not an excuse for poor behaviour and bad conflict management.
Wooow..... EXACTLY!!!! I just left a similar comment above and now you're teaching me I was a little bit too tame.
What if you married her and she pulls the tampo while waiting for the spousal visa. At 40 divorce ain't new to me but being played is enough perhaps the wester culture is seeping into thier values
@@RAW.v.M Uhgg. That's a devastating blow. Another confirmation that marriage is unnecessary.
Tampo= narsasistic abuse.
Run don't walk.
I am an American engaged to a Filipina and I have found your videos very helpful in understanding many of the cultural differences between us. Thank You !!!
I understand this tendency to try and manipulate a guy into her "touchy" point of view, my ex Russki wife did it a lot. Not that big a deal. But... At some point your Filipina also needs to understand your western culture too, where this is considered childish. There should be a balance. If she is never willing to make a few emotional compromises, then, with me, it will be goodbye, every man needs to decide for himself what to do. The comments of "its cute.." really, you must be so desperate, you'll put up with anything. No relationship can survive, if the guy ( or girl ) is the one doing all the compromising.
Yeah, it's a no for me. I wouldn't put up with as it reeks of immaturity and toxicity😂
Thank You Counselor Rubeauty. I will come back to your clinic for more lessons!!! Good Job!!!!!!
I get that it's a cultural thing, but relationships are built upon mutual trust, mutual respect, and of course communication. Relying on a tactic like Tampo and withdrawing communication is something that I would imagine being long term detrimental.
That said, I do agree with taking some time to let both sides cool off.
Just bc tampo is culturally accepted, doesn't detract away from the fact that it is still manipulative and emotional abuse in varying degrees. Tampo can and has caused a lot of damage to relationships. It can very easily be used to take advantage of others. Depending on how often tampo is used it puts one partner at the mercy of another. That’s not love. Just scrolling through some of the comments and you'll see what guys have had to go through and why they had enough.
The reason why Tampo is seen as such a toxic technique to fixing conflict/resolution type scenarios with Western guys is that even though it's a culture thing Filipinas have grown up with, it doesn't magically make us psychics and magical mind readers.That and the fact that Tampo can too easily be weaponized as a tool for manipulation in worse case scenario. The problem with using Tampo on foreigners is that it's used with the implied assumption of "You should know how to fix this problem or know what I want without me communicating this information to you!" A younger guy might tolerate her Tampo for a good long time while an older guy might just check out of the relationship altogether. Part of the issue for Filipinas wanting to get serious with westerners is Tampo should be absolutely used as a LAST RESORT method and NOT your first move.
Communication about one's thoughts and feelings at all times is essential. Tampo isn't something one should just "get used to" simply because it's a "culture thing" absolutely not! Tampo makes a problems cyclical in nature. Something upsets the Filipina, she stops talking and does not explain the issue, time goes by things "go back to normal" and the cycle repeats again. Nothing was learned in that cycle. Tampo in relationships with westerners either gets broken out of the Filipina or it breaks the relationship entirely. The mindset needs to be "WE need to fix this issue!" not "YOU need to fix this issue! I did nothing wrong!" Tampo is the tactic of an immature girl not a mature woman. We're in this relationship together so we both need to be adults about it and "FIX IT TOGETHER!"
Thank you for your insight! 🤗 Communication is key in any relationship, regardless of culture. It's important for us to understand each other and respect each other's differences.
It occurs to me at 66 years of age to make this observation. Catholicism can be interpreted as a co-dependent form of behavior. Co-dependency can keep a human being miserable and even insane and kill you if you do not develop a better , saner way of life. The sulk and the temper tantrum are not for someone who wants sanity and serenity in their life. Do not follow a path of being in control. Rather, set sane boundaries, communicate what those boundaries are and then stand by them while at the same time allowing room for positive interaction and personal growth. You can count on people to be people. If I am dating or even in a LTR with someone who is 30 to 50 years old, I do not expect her to be as mature as myself. She will act her age. So expect it. Coming from A society where codependecy is the norm will not help. Police your own back yard and do not take another's inventory. I hope this helps. Peace.
you are 100% correct in this. After 26 years of marriage I can attest that every word you said today is true.
Agree with you on a lot, but this one I don't. If she's not mature enough to speak up then I won't put on the effort to try to resolve something I'm blindingly guessing what it is.
It’s a childish, immature and frustrating behavior having dealt with it for 17 years now. I’d rather have a partner that would just engage me in a good old fashioned argument. This behavior is not productive for accomplishing anything in your daily life.
Ha, good tips for the "unsuspecting" foreigner. Good video Ruby and fun editing. You are more articulate than most Westerners
Tampo is ok if it happens for a few days because it prevents unwanted cursing, uncalled insults, public emabarassment and psychological trauma during the height of anger. Please stop finding a filipina girl friend if you are selfish, not patient and not willing to make an effort to understand them. Please find a filipino buddy and ask for advises if you encounter this kind of problems believe me we are already used to it. A few filipino men actually like their gf having tampo because for them it's rewarding to know how far you can understand your gf even without saying anything.
I like your videos, I am adjusting to the culture in Mindoro. I have been in the Philippines for 3 months now and I grew up in the US and watching your videos are helpful.
I once remarked to another Filipina TH-camr that I thought it might be a mark of emotional maturity to be able to take a step back, stop the angry come-back before it leaves your lips, and take a break until you calm down rather than making bigger mistakes. I can still look at Tampo that way but I realize that not all Filipina's have such pure motives. It can be a means of manipulation (to "win" an argument even when you know you are wrong... or to get a "gift", given under coersion, etc.).
Understanding which type of reaction it is probably involves getting to know that particular Filipina better (while she is getting to know you better at the same time, including what you will put up with and what you won't). Luckily, I am patient, kind, and understanding... up to a point. Cross that point and you will learn something very different about me -- not negative, not angry, not violent, but unbelievably firm in my resolve. I am more likely to have someone "walk all over me" (sometimes to avoid conflict or because I really don't think the topic is worth getting that upset over (which is my general bias)) than to treat someone else in the same fashion or lash out at them. BUT I have also learned to set firm boundaries and keep them when I need to and good luck getting back on MY good side once you push me past the limitations of what I consider decent or reasonable behavior! LOL (P.S. -- Some people say this is a trait of Leos or INFJ personality types generally -- amazingly tolerant... up to a point and then get ready for the deep freeze treatment that could last days, weeks, months, etc., or never recover from if you push too far).
I am not like most people, so I try to make allowances for the differences and be extra empathetic and understanding... it's like I am from a different culture than everyone else on the planet, so I always have those "Cultural Differences", except I experience it with everyone, even my own family. But take advantage of my kind nature on a regular basis and you could come home to an empty house... with fair, advanced warnings given, of course. 😨😥
P.P.S. -- I know you said you don't believe in these things (Tarot), but my Mother believed in it, so I have tried to give it a fair "shake" and I have found it can be a great tool for personal psychological insight if nothing else. This Leo tarot reading from today pretty much sums up where I am at now and emphasizes what I have been talking about here: th-cam.com/video/RyQsAnJTw6I/w-d-xo.html
My wife does this occasionally, my advice is. Enjoy the peace quiet for a change. 👍
You are right, this happens in others parts of the world and is common among children, how about talking, no need for lengthy justifications. With so many women in the Philippines there's no need to put up with this.
Oh Rebeauti, you are so sweet the way you describe tampo. I have not experienced this with my fiance' yet. But there is always a first time,.... right? Amazing as it is to some people, we just have a sweet loving relationship with no disagreement or confrontation. I am hopeful for our future together ❤.
I hope you 🎶"Don't go changin'"🎶 when you become popular. So many creators change and not for the better.
Your videos are very natural, relaxed, classy (you are too) and informative.
It's ok for a person to need a little time to their self or remain silent - temporarily - to wait until they are in a better state to communicate in a healthy way. The positive suggestions here are good for that, but I would always push it toward encouraging communication and not allowing a prolonged occurrence.
But if it is being used as a manipulation & control tactic, caving to that will emasculate you as a man in the relationship and sour her against you for her being able to steal control. Set boundaries and do not tolerate that unless you want to eventually lose her.
(coming from someone who is naturally too compassionate and has had to learn _the hard way_ that women thrive within boundaries and not without).
Excellent acting Rubeauti! I think the lesson here is treat your love properly and well! Excellent video lovely Rubeauti ❤️😘
Perfect "guidevlog" on Tampo! 🙂 Thank you! ♥️
Thanks, good video. This was driving me crazy now I have a better understanding of it.
I have to say I think this "Tampo" thing is alien to western culture, one could view it as childish, verbal communication rectifies problems, not acting as a spoilt ten year old child. The trying to get around the "Tampo" by the partner is called grovelling, once a child realises they get what they want by hissy fits then that's the future. Sorry but for me it would wear me down completely. Incidentally the clip of the woman hitting the man in the mall with the ukulele, she has to be Thai. 🤣🤣🤣
Rubi,this is common among most asian women way, but makes men anxious,
Most foreigners particularly Americans we'll put up with tample some may even find it cutesy. But there are a number of Filipinas who use this tactic to the extreme period to those women I Wood Warrn... 2 can play that game. Foreigners particularly Americans are very highly sought after by Filipino women so when using tample they should be very careful not to overdo it lest they lose their foreigner. Because the fact is if he doesn't like him there are plenty of other women who will take her place
Oh yes , I am very direct and confrontational when something goes wrong. Not to be rude or callous but because I dont have time to guess what happened and walk on eggshells until I figure it out. Men in the west value peace and co-operation in the home life.
Some women in the US do this as well, maybe not to such an extent. By the way, how are your injuries healing from your bike accident? I hope you're doing much better ❤
@@Rubeauti Take care of yourself ! 😋
Hey my mom does it and i feel more adult than her.
I love ur delivery. One thing I noticed when I went to your country is how vibrant the mall experience is. Here in America they are disappearing very quickly. They have been declining for a while, but Covid seemed to speed things up. More people are shopping online and people still craving the mall experience, but the stores have to increase their price so the can cover the expenses of leasing the space. So I think overall people aren't willing to pay inflated prices just to be able to go to a brick n mortar place just to try the garments on. About the Tampo, I made it clear from the beginning that I wasn't going to play that game. So if this childish behavior is her plan , it's a waste of time because she knows as well as I do where the door is.
If I did something wrong (and know it) I'll kiss up to make up. But. If I have no idea and she is ignoring me, pouting, not responding at all? I give her 15 minutes to snap out of it or I'll be looking for another girl. Being mad is one thing, being petty mad is not tolerated, regardless of her culture.
Thanks! Best explanation and advice
Your gestures are so natural, that I'm pretty confident saying you must be going "tampo" often. 😂
So basically Tampo is similar to hormones behavior, when my partner used to do Tampo I would blame it to her hormones, and I even send her articles about how to deal with hormones changes and postpartum, lol
But now I know is her Tampo, because she shows the same signs you mention. From now on I will just tease her that is her Tampo acting up, good thing it sounds like Tampon so I can joke about that, most of the time she laughs on my hormones jokes because I say it in a way that is soft and joking not in a hurtful way.
@@Rubeauti it does most of the time, but the few times when her Tampo is hardcore she will get upset, and in that case I will stop with my jokes, and let her know to not let her hormones, I mean her Tampo control her.
She appreciates my understanding, the fact that I know she is having those hormones or postpartum moments.
Tampo sounds a lot like what western psychologist call “Narcissistic Control”-and in effect, Filipinas are turning their romantic partners into sources of “Narcissistic Supply”. I’ve noticed a pattern of Narcissistic (and sometimes Malignant Narcissistic) tendencies within the matriarchal Filipino culture. One Filipina I met even drove her western husband to suicide with her manipulation and control. Some of these “dark” narcissistic traits include blame shifting, a sense of entitlement, a total lack of Empathy, a belief of one’s own superiority over others, a lack of accountability, gaslighting and many other toxic psychological traits.
Also, a culture of weak men that put up with that crap.
Yes, to have marry a Filipina from Manticao and currently divorcing her, a psychologist said to me that She was a "covert vulnerable narcissist", and all her family was a narcissistic family. What I hate from filipino culture, it is like a covert Narc paradise where every bad behaviour is tolerated in the culture.
@@simonbeausoleil9724 it almost seems like narcissistic behavior is incentivized in the Philippines 🇵🇭 mind blown 🤯. Locals call it “toxic Filipino culture”.
Amor propio = Narcisstic way of life
Face = Narcissistic persona
Saving face = Narcissistic injury
Passive-aggressive = Narcissistic rage that can be the accepted Tampururót
Tampo = Silent treatment
Tampuhan = Accepted silent treatment in a couple
Lambing = To never have wrong
May sumpong = To accept the irresponsability of others (like all sumpong stuff)
Hiya = The Narcissistic pride that we must never hurt (kahihiyan)
Balat-sibuyas = Onion-skinned, cannot accept to be wrong or criticism
Utang na Loob = Weapon of a narcissistic family, to take everything for granted
@@simonbeausoleil9724 Same story, I'm divorcing a covert Narc Filipina that was doing silent treatment for her own wrong behaviour...I have marry her, because we were from the same Christian faith, but after this, I have found over internet her lesbian story, her other lies...She was about to be accepted to become Permanent Resident in Canada. She Beginned to do a tampo because I was not happy at her to not update me for 5 days and She answered me with a Whatsapp video were She is even able to contradict herself in her lies...She beginned an unlimited tampo, I got enough, I said everything to her own Sister(The only one working to bring a revenue in her family). Her Sister said to me that She was currently on a silent treatment from her since months(They are all in the same house)...after this I confronted her parents and bring all the story in front of her own Pastor. She have flee away for months from her own family, her parents try to hide everything for the sake of the Saving Face and Hiya... but lucky me, her Pastor forced her to take the blame for the divorce.(Something important in my faith)
Hi Rubeauti as usual your content is very appropriate and informative. Thanks for all you do! Keep up the fantastic work! Be well
I think its absolutely ADORABLE! So cute. They are so gentle and non combative. Guys should appreciate this and value her cultural ways.
try dealing with it every 2 weeks...
@@X3lfl3X lol Try being with an American woman and its every two hours lol. I will take my chances with them.
If Filipinas want to give the silent treatment with foreigners, especially indefinitly and with no explanation, then they need to know that their behavior is a huge negative and very likely to result in a "bye, bye" for good . The alternative to silence is not necessarily an emotional argument but a rational discussion to resolve an issue or a better understanding of each other with foreigners . I know this from experience. I now have a wonderful Filipina wife who knows how to better understand me and wants me to understand her better. That's the best alternative to tampo.
this is really true...... just as we need to better understand them they in turn need to better understand us.
@@thebackforty939 At the risk of repeating myself, an indefinite and unexplained silence is a non-starter. That is, "Goodbye, we will never be compatible."
That's a worldwide phenomenon with all women, it's just how you women are.
Not in the Netherlands. Dutch women speak their mind. If they don’t, they’ve checked out of the relationship already and are waiting for a good moment to break up.
When someone is mad at me and they shut up . that's a win for me .
My Filipina tried this once with me and I told her we are too old for that childish bullshit. If you want me to do something for you the ask me. If I pissed you off tell me. I'm not a mind reader and that kind of attitude will make me leave you permanently. After that we say what's on our minds and don't hide anything and communicate with each other. It's that simple guys. Don't let her act that way or she will do it all the time and you'll be pissed off at her and yourself. Communicate and be adults. Sulking and being a crybaby isn't the way to handle things ladies
Well that won't work cuz she gets the same treatment from me and my girl knows this already and she doesn't even try xD what i recommended is to work on good communication between partners, knowing each other, knowing what we like and what we don't. so we are ready for the "tougher" times. it always have to be 50/50
To all foreigners please don't look for Filipinas if you can't deal with tampo,
My husband knows how to deal with my tampo, he always chat me i love you and I miss you and emoji of crying face ( it melts my heart, after I'm ok ), sometimes my favorite food, sometimes a flower in our garden , sometimes he use our daughter, my daughter giving a note that it says I love you mommy don't make TAMPO we're hungry 😂, sometimes he find ways to make me laugh.. usually my tampo it takes only few hours, I'm very lucky to my husband he didn't find my tampo as a childish thing. He know Filipino culture well because most of his friends is Filipino.
Ty so much for saying this. It's easy to think it's a manipulation rather than a cultural thing
😂😂😂 and vice versa
dont damage our mental health - stick to Pinoy bf
Oh Yeah my ex girlfriend, is back home in the Philippines because of Tampo, it was just a nightmare to be with her, so she got a one way ticket home, now living happily after that 😀
Best decision you ever made. You saved yourself a lifetime of pain bro.
This is good info to know. I’m definitely learning more about tampo I appreciate it very much Rubeauti keep up the good work 😎💪🏾
This silent treatment could cause issues with western men. For instance, I would be more than happy to carry the shopping bags or most of them if she simply asked me and there would be no hard feelings at all. However, the silent treatment is a negative behavior in my opinion and I would not like it at all.
If a woman acts like a child, then she should not be surprised to be treated as a child.
When people originate from different cultures they need to adapt to each other..... they should meet halfway to make the relationship as successful as possible.
It is a good idea to seek to find the things which are most important to each culture and adapt to them in exchange for the same efforts from your partner.
Hi there Rubeauti! I wish you told me this before! Lol! Nice episode again my friend 👌🏽😘
silent treatment is a form of narcissism, If she does that to you often, send her packing because over time it will get worse and i know that from experience. Narcissists are psychologically damaging to their partners and that damage can fuck you up for years
Is tampo mostly exhibited by younger filipinas? Do they eventually mature or grow out of that habit?
I have been subject to tampo 50 times in the first 3 years of our relationship. And in my view it is just a power fight. Rooted in jealousy. And always the only advice we men get is to bend over backwards to her whims and lower yourself to her childish behavior. While all the reason you are here is to escape feminism attitude from the western women. Needless to say I can't handle tampo very well. And after putting up with it for 2 or 3 years she finally gave up on it and we hardly have tampo anymore. Kudos to myself for trying so long to make it work. If she had a tampo I go beer... Sulk with yourself.
My wife had tampo when I got on to for doing something that I told her not to do several times. She got mad at me and wouldn't speak to me. I went about my business and let her sulk. I even went out to dinner without her. Magic tampo cured
Good vid. Just next time, make the background music quieter than your voice lol ;)
Where was this video 5 years ago! 😫😫😫It would have saved me a lot of fighting & confusion 😳😁
Best advice I have heard on tampo. With my personality, I will just do the same. I just don't do drama.
Filipinas should be more understanding of the real world instead of expecting the whole world to do as they want... it's not all about the Filipina's wants and needs.. what about their foreign partner's wants and needs?
I can honestly say it reeks of bi-polar exhibitions. Also a way to tell you which friend she does not approve of. Blantant disregard of marriage vows. Sinister and scandalous because i love her so much and hate seeing her distraught. Only time and patience works. Salamat sa akong pasensya, salamat sa imong pasensya.
I Rubeauti. Good video. I am one of the people that think it is kind of childish. How can you know the problem if your partner will not talk about it and just give the silent treatment. It is best to talk about things so you can understand each other better. Keeping it all inside is not a good thing and sometimes can make matters worse. I am also thinking too much tampo will drive the guy away and then the girl is left with nothing. Keep smiling and stay safe
Great 👍🏼 You covered all bases and provided good insight. I was concerned about it being used as manipulation at some point but you touched on that.
Yep, it's manipulation. Just play along with it.
@@Rubeauti you should check out the effects on adult men who were raised by a narcissist mother. They tend to be people pleasers, lack confidence, make poor life decisions and tend to go with the flow to avoid conflict rather than standing up for themselves and carry a lot of repressed guilt, shame and anger.
When dating, a narcissist will use "love bombing" to get you attached and then switch to bad behavior until you're ready to leave. Then repeat the love bombing stage. It keeps the victim confused allowing the narcissist to keep control over them.
But in the parent child relationship. The child is dependant on the parent without escape. So the child learns very very early that there thoughts and feelings don't matter so rather than learning how to think for themselves. They learn that they are responsible for the parents moods to survive. Does any of that sound familiar?
@@Rubeauti I'll also add in a narcissistic family with more than one child. The children take up different rolls. The scapegoat is what I described in my other comment. Other child roles would "the golden child" who can't do no wrong in the parents eyes. "The forgotten child" would be the one that goes unnoticed for the most part because they learned from the treatment of the scapegoat.
Nakakalokaaa! Hahaha you nailed it! Bakit ngayon lang 'tong content na 'to? Char!😆 Mixed emotions ako title palang dhai! I had a sad experience before, mistakenly expressed tampo, 'cause before that, i often use it in a "pabebe way". Inaway nya 'ko malala dhai! Since that day inaavoid ko na magtampo, kahit totoo na!😅 it was sad but a lesson for both of us i think. He doesnt like it and thinks it's an immature way. Kaya i just avoid expressing tampo as much as i can. He shows concern and keeps on checking and giving me reassurances anyway, when he suddenly notice a little change in my mood. Kaya i dont feel like my tampo emotions is being invalidated kahit na i really dont express it too much. So i can say we're both meeting each other halfway on this. We're still in a "getting-to-know-each-other" stage, happily. It's him who introduced you to me btw. Napa- subscribe tuloy ako sayo bruha ka!😆❤❤❤
That's a mighty purty belly button , honey child! LOL. Good conversation. Just take her hand, sit her down, and give her your undivided attention. Has always worked for me. Be sincere, let her know you are sorry, and give her a little space. Love will overcome. Much easier to solve problems if the love is there.
I have to admit, I got this treatment cause I didn't rush to give her "the first Kiss" that's something I don't rush nor just jump her cause how I feel, I never got signs that is what she wanted and was waiting for. Also I'm not a forcefull man.
When did this occur? Was this on the first date?
@@champagneshade6249 4 days after we met in person we talked online for about a year before I went to the Philippines with her uncle. She did ask me on the 3rd day if I was gay and was confused when she asked me, I said NO I guess she thought I wasn't interested in her cause I didn't make a move on her.
Tampo, sounds like a tantrum to me. I’m not going to treat a woman like a child. We’re going to learn how to communicate or it won’t work long term.
Sooo true!! Lol..😂 you are sooo funny!! Great sense of humor! Went great with the Jazz music!! Love your videos! Love my Filipina!! ❤❤❤
Thanks so much for taking the time to watch my videos and appreciate my sense of humor! Much appreciated ❤️
As a foreigner, I literally never deal with Tampo. Ignore her right back and that immature behavior lasts about 2 hours at the most. Her need for attention will end that Tampo real quick! No Suyo from me unless she acts right.
Never allow a pinay to tampo if she does you must be willing to let her go and move on
"I like to burp in restaurants. It's just my culture."
NO! This is not how it goes. If you have bad behavior it has to be fixed, not coddled.
A video like this should have condemned the behavior at the beginning. It's childish and destructive for relationships and that's it. Don't use culture as an excuse.
When you experience it, don't expect that person to change. Many victims have learned this the hard way.
Also, it's interesting that this was emphasized to be a Filipina trait, but then white couples are used in several of the clips.
It is a human trait, it is just a trait that is more common in Filipinas because we usually train this behavior out of people when they are children in the west because it isn't ok to act immature like this but if you listen they aren't as confrontational as we are in the west they are a polite and conformist society like most of the east in which they view confrontation as rude, and stepping out of line where we view it as productive and corrective. We view this type of behavior as childish and and selfish because how can you expect someone to read your mind.
@@Sumoniggro You are taking a very empathetic view and that is a valuable characteristic to have. I love Asian culture and the welcoming and non-confrontational people is a large part of why I'm anxious to escape the US and go to the Philippines, Thailand, etc., where I would fit in better.
My original comment comes from personal experience dealing with that part of their personality and I think everyone benefits if they overcame their upbringing and adjusted that habit. (I probably have some habits to adjust also...hehe).
This was very informative! Thank you very much!♥
I have a question for you.
I have a background in clinical psychology, so I'm wondering if levels and severity of tampo vary, depending on Philippine regions.
For example: is this Filipina behavior more prevalent in those who were raised larger cities, or in those who were raised in more rural areas? Or is region not a factor at all?
Because I would tend to think that at least some degree of Western culture would permeate throughout the populace of larger cities.
@@Rubeauti, thank you for your prompt answer!🥰 I guess we both were right.
Given this revelation (thank you so much), I think I will stick with the Provinces as I'm an American who, in terms of a potential romance, wants to get away from modernized Western women. Especially modern American women.
That is, of course, if this recession ever ends and I can finally afford a plane ticket to the Philippines.😅😁
@@JosephLupoli
An interesting point.... I'd prefer a lady in Province too, but then worry what happens if she is not the one for me.
Everyone there would know her business...unlike in city! A failed romance would hit her harder.
Plus they are far harder to meet.
😂
@@JosephLupoli from what i heard today you could be soon packing your bags, even if not vaccinated
@@daveh5947, yes. You also make a great point!👍
I suppose I might study a potential location which could offer the best of both worlds. Maybe a mid-sized city that's still fairly close to the provinces.
@@JosephLupoli My lady is from the capital and she's far from westernized (a bit though because she's travelled for work). She's the most amazing woman I've ever met, so I certainly wouldn't discourage anyone from looking in a city.
I really love this video it's very true
Wow 😂😂 👍
I have experienced Tampo and I am already done with it! It is the most childish reaction and should be taught out of all Pinay's.
Thank you so much for this information. I find it very valuable. Your direct delivery and complete explanation of your content are inspiring to me in my relationship with the Filipina I love. You almost make me want to become the subject of and target of her tampo just so I can respond properly in the way you describe. Honest and accurate communication is so important! Thank you again.
To me, there is a clear and unambiguous difference between the normal periodic need for a little alone time, and Tampo, because the latter means their issue never gets revealed and resolved, which is both stupid and self defeating.
Communication is the foundation of any LTR/Marriage. If they cant/wont snap out of it and communicate, they're GONE. I'd tell them that right up front, as a red line that must never be crossed.
Great video!!! Thank you so much!!
Thank You RB. It's a no go for Tampo.
Haha, That was Good 👍 I think you Been Practicing This Eye Rolling 🤣
hi rubeauti, oh dear i would be no good with a Filipino because if she suspected or thought i had done something wrong and wont tell me then tough i would just put my coat on and go out for the evening then go off to work the next day, she has the problem not me, i treat women as equal i encourage them to say what's on their mind, always sit down and talk about a problem saying nothing only lets it fester and grow Bigger in the mind and that makes things worse, but very good choice of topic
Great video, now I know that the silent treatment my ex-wife used to give me has a name. I'm normally a quiet person, so the silence doesn't bother me.
Me either! In fact, I love it when I get a break! Not to mention I can go for days without talking or even worry about anything and my Filipina learned it has zero affect on me.....which the lack of reaction to her Tampo caused her to display even more Tampo by cleaning the house! Win/Win!
Over the many years i have been travelling to the Philippines I have met many wonderful and amazing woman until they hit the point of Tampo and Jealousy! I call them weapons of mass destruction! When I question woman on these two matters the general response I get is but Sir, this is very much part of our culture!.
I go onto explain this kind of behaviour is not part of my culture and i go on to explain the harm and damage it can cause to a healthy meaningful relationship! I find the whole experience of Tampo and Jealousy so mentally and emotionally draining as well as a waste of valuable time.
The Solution that works for me is have amazing experiences with amazing people creating unforgettable memories with people in the Philippines as a Single man. Good luck to the many guys who chose to endure the whole Tampo and Jealousy thing and all the stress and frustrations that come with it!
I really like watching your videos and I think they are very informative. However.... when watching this one, it becomes easy to see how some cross cultural relationships can go to shit quickly! Most western men are just NOT gonna kiss a woman's ass just because she throws a little fit and shows her immaturity!
I agree with some of the other comments that that is a quick way to lose your guy altogether, unless he already has a lot of time invested into the relationship! I think most good men who realize their value would definitely not put up with being treated that way; let alone apologize and buy her gifts for doing so.
While I get that it is part of your culture, relationships go both ways so don't be surprised when your guy loses interest and ends up holding someone else"s hand later. If you want a good partner, you need to BE A GOOD PARTNER! Learn to communicate better! Use your words.
Good video, even if i allready did know about this and the terrible utang na loob.
Two things what im affraid can destroy a relationshio with a philippine women.
Wow, you have excellence in editing. You master this so quickly. Most impressive indeed. I have not yet been to the Philippines or met a Filipina. But I have studied the Philippines culture for some time. There are two things to do if you are lucky to meet a Filipina. And you need to do it early in your relationship. 1. Tell her how you will handle your money, and set the ground rules. Will you or will you not give her any allowance and if you want to support her family! Make this very clear. 2. Talk about Tampo before it happens. Give your view about how to act when feelings are hurt or you are angry. Ok, that is my humble view. ❤
Passive aggression is the cruelestj way tot comunicatetalk it out.early.....
@@larryprimavera8 Your point is?
Why wouldnt you give her poor mom a few pesos?.. seem pretty selfish to me
@@davejohnson3822 Did you read my comment? I was talking about setting some rules. Not what I would do!
@@davejohnson3822 Where did I say that?