Feeler vs Thinker Relationship Compatibility
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ส.ค. 2024
- #MBTI #Compatibility #16personalities
Can feelers and thinkers be in a compatible relationship or are they the natural enemies that the internet shows them to be? Watch and then find your compatible match on the TypeMatch app!
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As an INTJ my experiences with NFPs have been so awful I don’t think I could ever say they’re a good romantic match. Friends, we’re fantastic. Lovers, absolutely not. I want a mind mate. Their strength in logic is so weak that our conversations at length are highly dissatisfying for me and I’m frequently dismissed as argumentative. Not even with the FJs in my life do I ever have these issues. On the other hand I totally get the theory that our decision making functions should match our partner because my experience with different Ti users has been, repeatedly, “I don’t want to think for you” when in actuality, my Te was just trying to get on the same page. Or when my spirits are low, maybe I’m just drained, I’m somehow responsible for ruining their time and “why couldn’t you put on a happy face?”. I for sure can’t relate to these sentiments. Trying to make decisions together can be fumble-y. Even still, I can respect our differences and I’d personally choose a Ti user over an FP.
The trick for an INTJ is finding an xSFP, but being very careful they haven't just found a mistyped xSFJ which isn't ideal. xSFPs are socially oriented but not fluffy or harmony-focused. They share the fierce independence of xNTJs.
I just had a discussion (but argument from her perspective) with an ENFP friend. She got upset and said 'You just have to win every argument'. I was flabbergasted because I had no desire to win anything. I was just pointing out the holes in the argument she was making. She isn't the first person who has said that (those persons have been feelers too however). It's just so upsetting to be ascribed a motive that I simply do not have. Like, does the objective truth not matter 😫. I think thinkers look for the holes and inconsistencies. When someone predominantly goes by what they feel, their feelings will sometimes be wrong (by virtue of the fact that most facts are learned not felt/intuited). Other feelers don't challenge each other because they think similarly. The thinker is right a lot of times (at least from an objective/factual perspective) because they aren't going by what they feel, but by what they can decipher is the objective truth from the facts they have gathered (and not that they can't be wrong but they look for holes even in their own arguments and are always fine tuning their arguments and beliefs). The feeler feels frustrated that the thinker is always finding flaws with their argument, misinterprets this as the thinker wanting to be right or win and gets upset. I don't know how to pretend that something is not true or true to make someone feel good. It just goes against my nature to do this (especially if the matter is nothing personal and doesn't affect the person I'm speaking with). If it's a personal matter then I will oftentimes just agree with them to not hurt their feelings but if it's something about systems, societies, science etc., I have a hard time agreeing just to make peace. It almost makes me feel inauthentic to do that. Just frustrating sometimes.
@@riiraa881
I think trying to find holes is more so an INTJ thing because we have Ti Critic. We’re critical of logic and truth. ISTJs have Ti critic too but I feel like having Si saves them by wanting to stay comfortable. ENTPs may also do it to an extent with Ti parent, they want to be responsible with logic and the truth. ESTPs may as well to themselves but they probably don’t care as much because they’d rather live in the moment and use their Ti parent in application. In short, not all thinkers are going to tear apart an “argument” for breakfast.
What do you think about INFJ's logic? I am pretty proud of mine honestly.
@@LittleMew133
I can only say in theory that I think it would be fine since they are Ti users. But that’s me only looking at that cognitive function, there are other considerations.
Good explanation. I am an INFJ. Nonetheless, I don't struggle to communicate with ESTPs since we have the same cognitive functions and our Ti vs Fe are in the middle of the stack.
However, I have had ESTJs tell me "Man, I just don't understand you" 😙
I struggle to communicate with ESFP and not to be overwhelmed by ESTP.
Absolutely, I'm an INTJ and my Mom was an INFJ and we clashed on our Fe/Te. She sometimes just couldn't understand me. I felt like I understood her but she seemed to struggle to get me. It was tough because we loved sharing our Ni/Se but that would not always prevail. It sucks because I have dated and LOVE ENFJs and INFJs and frankly I find them sexier than the FPs (it's that shared Se) but I wish we could get past that Fe/Fe clash because that's rough! I find that I really do appreciate healthy Fe and respect healthy Ti. But they don't seem to reciprocate, which hurts. Also, although it seems I'm a better fit with ENFP/ESFP, I don't particularly ever find myself attracted to those types. I DID often find ESFPs attractive in my youth but then we almost never crossed paths or if we did our lives we so TOTALLY different (due to Ni/Se dom functions) that OMG I can't even imagine how that could work. I thought they were just either stupid or insane. 😂 So far the best overall match I've found is with INFPs. Their emotions are cute to me, not annoying. And I don't mind if they are annoyed by my thinking. Deep down I know they like it and I'm secure enough in it to do it for the both of us whether they appreciate me for it or not (although they usually DO). 🥰
This is EXCELLENT! I want to say that your analogy re Si users and pineapple on pizza being about what they grew up with is excellent and VERY similar to how Fi users understand each other (this may be what you were saying?). For example, two Fi users may not have the exact same values but (as long as their values don't clash) they can UNDERSTAND and respect the value of the other because they recognize how the function works at its base, that the Fi value is intrinsic to that individual and we inherently value and respect a person's authentic self because we understand how those values might have been developed and cherish/honor that. So we actively make a space for them to be themselves, even if it is different/different values. The only time two Fi users won't get along (with regard to Fi) is if their values actively clash, e.g. one loves hunting and the other is vegan for humane reasons...that's probably not going to work. But, they don't have to be the same values (although when they are, it's pretty awesome!).
Your videos are mirrored and it is a bit uncomfortable to watch since the writing is all backwards. So either try to un-mirror the video, or not use a blackboard for the explanation.
Also, you're beautiful.
Sincerely, an INTP.
She said she forgot to a couple of videos ago, looks like she forgot again
it would be ideal if there was a TH-cam feature that mirrored it so we don't have this kind of problem for sure
I try but I have ADHD and can't seem to remember even when I write it on a sticky note and put it next to me
@@TypeMatch same haha and I would probably make the same mistake over and over 😅
@@spinningadam What, do you want a date? Or just reinforcing the intp creepiness. hahaha jk
@@elnogo9196 not sure what you're referring to lmao
Hi, it would be better if the image were flipped as the writing on the board is all mirrored.
Totally agree with your position that it's not about T vs. F, it's about complementarity between cognitive functions. That's the Socionics position too. Shared language is ideal, as Fi/Ti and Te/Fe are mutually exclusive and naturally oppositional, while Fe/Ti and Te/Fi naturally complement.
One more thing, which Socionics covers but Myers Briggs does not, is Stubbornness vs. Flexibility. The Dominant and Tertiary are both sort of stubborn. They want to call the shots (with varying levels of success), while the Auxiliary and Inferior are much more yielding. So, although Dominant and Inferior have the largest gap between them, the Inferior will yield entirely to the Dominant in the other person once they are reassured and comfortable, rather than made to feel vulnerable (because they can feel a lot of pain here if the experience is bad. In contrast, the Dominant and Tertiary in each person can compete somewhat, as the Tertiary wants to feel as if it is chiefly making the contribution, and needs subtle support, rather than to be led entirely by another person. That is why the Auxiliary is better when paired with another's Tertiary.
Can you put an example with ENTP?
@@Lizzzi86
ENTP and ISFJ share the same values of theoretical exploration (Ne+Ti),excitement for novelty (Ne+Fe), aesthetic symmetry (Si+Ti) and positive emotionality (Si+Fe). At the same time they are total opposites in terms of strengths, the ENTP much more inclined to venture into new ideas and open up novel possibilities in the intellectual space, while the ISFJ being much more likely to create harmony and stability in the social space.
As well as this, the ENTP asserts Ne and Fe a lot more, wanting to be front and centre in introducing their ideas and creating enthusiastic reactions, which the ISFJ yields to. In contrast, the ISFJ asserts Si and Ti, balancing out sensory experiences and creating stability and regularity which the ENTP yields to.
spot it you got it?
I'd be curious if you think two types with the same thinking/feeler functions and same perceiving/judging functions and same order, but switched priority (so one with a primary perceiving vs one with a primary sensing) are more compatible than sharing the same functions with different order.
For example an INTP and ISFJ vs INTP and ESFJ. I'm assuming this is where the introverted vs extroverted compatibility comes into play?
I'd say the INTP will have an easier time with the ISFJ in terms of communication. Fe dominant types can trigger the INTP's Fe inferior insecurity and vis versa for the Ti hero of the INTP triggering the ESFJs insecurity
@@TypeMatch why does the hero 'trigger' inferior insecurity, rather than guide and support it?
I heard us "not like anyone else" freaks are sometimes like wine... Better with age type scenario.(so I've convinced myself) Might be something to look into. Just sayin. 🤞
This is hard to read
Its obvious she's a "feeler". i need a mirror to see what she wrote lol