Why is it that women has to be the worker bee in the relationship. She has to deny her feelings to appease him. And it's her fault when the man strays. I feel that a man see the woman as a care taker , a therapist, intimately always available no matter what she needs. You see how he alludes to they should pour into each other. When you use the word BUT, you erase the original point. It's back to she has to keep him interested, no matter how she feels. A man very rarely concerns himself with her feelings. Men have taken the thought that, as long as my needs are met, we are good. Why isn't he saying her feelings are just as important as mind. It's sad that men don't love as God has told him to love, treat her as he wants to be treated. He must lead with his words and actions. First be and example, instead of always taking.
the trick is that you learn to not deny your feelings and neglect your needs. Pour into yourself first and be secure in your own happiness before you pour into him. And once you feel you are starting to get taken advantage of - dry that well up! This has worked well for me.
Yes but a man gets caught up in the way he feels/sees things, losing sight of his partner’s feelings too. It’s only human to sometimes make that mistake. If it’s constant then it becomes a danger to the relationship.
I don't know the source buy I heard this and never forgot it: The 5 most important sentences are I was wrong I am sorry Please forgive me I love you God bless you I hurt someone I didn't mean to hurt and it grieved me. I said all 5 sincerely from my heart and in that order. They forgave me instantly. Thank God.
Don’t lose yourself period. Must find balance in loving yourself & other(s). Actions are the best measurements In gauging if a person’s words are genuine💯
I think it is more that alot of guys aren't good at communicating how they feel. Which I understand is hard for alot of them. A woman can't be held liable if a guy doesn't speak up and say how he feels.
You do understand that men are teaching other men to just "grin and bear it" in relationships right? The "happy wife, happy life" mantra is a big reason for it because for years society has told men that our happiness doesn't matter at all in the relationship. That's why we often don't communicate when we're unhappy. We've grown up seeing husbands just ignore their concerns for the benefit of their family far too often. It's even shown in entertainment where the RV husband is just seen as a financial provider and he never discusses his feelings to his wife.
Sometimes it is not the right time, and she just isn’t ready to be the giver! She gave to much in the last one! But the new one is demanding for the other person to be more giving! I am not ready to give right now! I am not pouring into anyone. I am on “E-empty “
I agree🎉🎉🎉!!! Please pray that the next man I meet won't have soul ties so I can love him as recklessly as I would love my child. Sadly, some men won't allow you to love them. I want to love without his fear getting in the way! ❤️❤️❤️
My ex husband would always say things like “we had fun”, “we had a good night”, “we didn’t like the food there”, etc. When in reality, he just assumed I felt the same way about everything that he did. He never even noticed or cared to ask my feelings. He was SHOCKED and DEVASTATED when I told him I was leaving, which SHOCKED ME. I said, I’ve been telling you for over a decade how unhappy I was. He said, “all women say shit like that when they’re mad. Then the next day you wake up and everything is fine.” NO ITS NOT FINE. We just stop talking about it because your not paying attention or doing anything about it anyway. So here’s a tip men: regardless what you’re taught, we don’t complain or say things just because we are mad at that moment. We just hold things in giving you a chance to change the behavior as long as possible. At a certain point we realize you really don’t see the problem and that’s when we finally go off. We ABSOLUTELY MEAN WHAT WE SAY. Anything said to you has been playing in our minds for a long time.
I have a guy now that throws obvious hints for me to consider how he’s feeling… even though I know for a fact he’s prioritizing other women over our connection. Because he’s been honest about letting me know he can’t consistently contact me everyday because he’s already dedicated himself to his “platonic” women friends over me…. Oh yeah… he also invited a coworker to an outting of ours. Both acted like oh no we’re just friends but yet…ol boy is just full of it. And he acted like I was so mean because I wouldn’t get with his program. Acting as if I’m not taking his feelings into consideration. Well technically I already ended it back in Dec… but he truly believes just because he’s honest with his Phoney betrayals…. The woman should still b understanding of his feelings & go along with it
Say it again!!! We have been tricked into believing hardness and meaness is the same as strength. We think kindness and gentleness is the same as weakness. Then we cheer each other on as "strong, black women", when often, we're really just walking-wounded and trying not to be hurt anymore. Our relationships (dating, marital, familial, parental) become the casualties of war.
Beautiful message!!!! Please keep up the good work. Yes it does have to be on both sides of each other thinking. It's very important to have a wonderful agreement and spiritually understanding to make relationships as equal.
yess my blackman dont communicate good woman and good man belong to each other one sided relationship becs my man dont communicate both desire they have to know each with talk to each thank you couch✌️🙏🏽❤️
This doesn’t seem accurate. Women are most likely always seeking solutions in a relationship to make it better. Ex: A man isn’t likely to suggest couples counseling. Men are not tapped into their feelings , even more now than ever. And given that the recent divorce stats say 81% of women are the ones filing for divorce now, that means they did A LOT to work things out. Women have issues with letting go, so that means the men aren’t showing up, not only for women but themselves.
I think this coach needs to update their material, get more in tune with the cultural temperature, read all the studies on the “crisis of men” and then revisit this video. Bc he missed the mark.
Until they come into their soul and live authentically instead of from the ego, that’s what you get, a lot of times… that superficial way about themselves. Vulnerability is key.
I think sometimes we gotta remember it's hard on both sides, if your man being loyal and good to you be the same to him and watch him flourish, a woman job Im starting to believe is nurture the best out her man while the man is kind of like the backbone and moral Instiller and the protector for the family. I don't think u ever stop learning as a man that's why I believe men become more valuable depending what u consider value as we get older
I embrace this, but men need to appreciate a good woman. Men seem to worry about being so masculine, "I'm the man of the household" attitude that they won't open up, and communicate with their women. We need our feelings to be heard, we need men to genuinely listen. When l see that he isn't listening to me, but he wants me to listen to him, makes me resentful towards him. So you have to treat your partner how you want to be treated, the goes for both men and women.
How is it the woman needs to correct everything when we have all of these abusive men unloving women and children . Please try and hold men accountable or nothing will ever change.
You have men that only want you to pour into them. I see it! They don’t reciprocate some of them. I can always tell when I come across a man that has never received support or anybody cared about their feelings. They become attached to me. And feel like I should be filling their cup daily. My own father felt I should protect him and support him and I was his youngest daughter. He would abuse my mother because of his mommy issues. He never did what he was supposed to do as a man, working nothing. But want to come to me for everything and put pressure on me as a child just because of my sex. I couldn’t even be a kid. Then when I meet men I notice immediately when they want me to pour into them, support them, believe in their dreams and feelings but what about mine. And I’m not even dating these guys just in conversation I notice it. They don’t understand the law of reciprocity.
I'll have no problem pouring into my man. It's when I notice I'm the only one giving, that I stop. I'll communicate but I'm finding it's like trying to nail jello to a wall😅
All y'all goofballs talking about how men don't communicate! They do all the time if they feel safe and comfortable! They'll show you through actions also! Also, Stephan is speaking on general terms in a healthy relationship! Stop complaining, either stay or go
None good, but God and those in His steps: Mark 10:18 And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God. Psa 37:23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord:and he delighteth in his way.
This constant obsession to relationships especially with a man is borderline idolatry and fulfilling thr book of Genesis: "women will desire/obsessed to man...We need Grace to see it God's way on both sides 🙏🏼
It's interesting how you start off holding each party accountable, but than shift your focus to women. Let me help you, a man will receive from a woman what he puts into her and the relationship. There is no different formula, try as you might to find equal footing, the male must pour good water onto good soil. He must be the head first. You do not take my word for it. Just try it or ask people in a healthy marriage. If the man isn't pouring into her cup,her cup will be dry(period). I tell my sons. God will pour enough into you,to pour into your wife and she into her children. That is the design. Men keep wanting a woman to pour into them. You are supposed to be overflowing from the source, sir.
The problem is the narcissistic men are much better at finding the good women first and before you know it she’s left traumatised from an abusive relationship and will then come with paranoia and maybe a bit more selfish to protect herself
Tell me your community is accursed suffering from a multitude of multiplied generational curses manifesting into people without actually telling me🤦♂️
![อยู่ได้แล้ว - LIPTA feat. Mirrr [OFFICIAL MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/-9-hpntNym4/mqdefault.jpg)
The problem is everyone believes they're 'good'
But he needs to communicate, a woman can say and do the right thing but if he shuts down and don't communicate, what do you do 🤔
Sarah Tabe- Whitfield, same thing here!!
Emotionally unavailable unfortunately.. an emotionally available person will realize what Stephan is saying
A man/woman can communicate everything under the sun but if it doesn't align then it won't be heard. Point blank period.
Find a Partner who will.
Man I’ve been there…
Mutual love comes with knowledge and understanding of each other.
Why is it that women has to be the worker bee in the relationship. She has to deny her feelings to appease him. And it's her fault when the man strays. I feel that a man see the woman as a care taker , a therapist, intimately always available no matter what she needs. You see how he alludes to they should pour into each other. When you use the word BUT, you erase the original point. It's back to she has to keep him interested, no matter how she feels. A man very rarely concerns himself with her feelings. Men have taken the thought that, as long as my needs are met, we are good. Why isn't he saying her feelings are just as important as mind. It's sad that men don't love as God has told him to love, treat her as he wants to be treated. He must lead with his words and actions. First be and example, instead of always taking.
You are on point with everything you wrote. Men/ boys forgetting about their roles!
the trick is that you learn to not deny your feelings and neglect your needs. Pour into yourself first and be secure in your own happiness before you pour into him. And once you feel you are starting to get taken advantage of - dry that well up! This has worked well for me.
Please say that a little louder...for all the MEN in the back!
Yes but a man gets caught up in the way he feels/sees things, losing sight of his partner’s feelings too. It’s only human to sometimes make that mistake. If it’s constant then it becomes a danger to the relationship.
So true because once a woman starts thinking more of herself then she starts to forget about him and his feelings
Women DO realize his needs and desire are as Important as theirs. Men don't!
Words that should always be said: I forgive you! I love you! Most important with GOD we got this!🙏🏽❤️
I don't know the source buy I heard this and never forgot it:
The 5 most important sentences are
I was wrong
I am sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
God bless you
I hurt someone I didn't mean to hurt and it grieved me. I said all 5 sincerely from my heart and in that order. They forgave me instantly. Thank God.
@@ohdear2275, Thank you for sharing this with me!🌻
Amen!!
Amen
😂 this makes you more desirable to a man, his needs? Dusty chronicles are funny. Ladies make sure you get a man who loves you more than you love him.
Mutual love is the prize 🥰
Glory be to the Most High God of Isreal!!
Don’t lose yourself period. Must find balance in loving yourself & other(s). Actions are the best measurements In gauging if a person’s words are genuine💯
Whatever. I gave him MY ALL. It wasn't enough bc HE has to heal his past as well. I gave my all to the wrong person.
Damn. Sis, you NEVER give ANYONE your all. You matter first, foremost, and always. ❤
I think it is more that alot of guys aren't good at communicating how they feel. Which I understand is hard for alot of them. A woman can't be held liable if a guy doesn't speak up and say how he feels.
I agree. They don't usually say anything until they are mad and it ends up turning into a big argument.
Yeah, but what if he tell you how he feel and the female get caught up in her feelings???? Everybody's got feelings💗
...100!
You do understand that men are teaching other men to just "grin and bear it" in relationships right? The "happy wife, happy life" mantra is a big reason for it because for years society has told men that our happiness doesn't matter at all in the relationship. That's why we often don't communicate when we're unhappy. We've grown up seeing husbands just ignore their concerns for the benefit of their family far too often. It's even shown in entertainment where the RV husband is just seen as a financial provider and he never discusses his feelings to his wife.
@@princessreesepieces”the female”? 🤔 Is she an object now or a person?
Sometimes it is not the right time, and she just isn’t ready to be the giver! She gave to much in the last one!
But the new one is demanding for the other person to be more giving!
I am not ready to give right now! I am not pouring into anyone. I am on “E-empty “
Mi too Low very low and empty to the Point of closed off
A man like you is a blessing to a women
Correct. But men also do that. The problem is very often both sides are doing that at the same time. It's more complex when that happens.
I agree🎉🎉🎉!!! Please pray that the next man I meet won't have soul ties so I can love him as recklessly as I would love my child. Sadly, some men won't allow you to love them. I want to love without his fear getting in the way! ❤️❤️❤️
Yes… That’s So True👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💯💯💯❤️❤️❤️
My ex husband would always say things like “we had fun”, “we had a good night”, “we didn’t like the food there”, etc. When in reality, he just assumed I felt the same way about everything that he did. He never even noticed or cared to ask my feelings. He was SHOCKED and DEVASTATED when I told him I was leaving, which SHOCKED ME. I said, I’ve been telling you for over a decade how unhappy I was. He said, “all women say shit like that when they’re mad. Then the next day you wake up and everything is fine.” NO ITS NOT FINE. We just stop talking about it because your not paying attention or doing anything about it anyway. So here’s a tip men: regardless what you’re taught, we don’t complain or say things just because we are mad at that moment. We just hold things in giving you a chance to change the behavior as long as possible. At a certain point we realize you really don’t see the problem and that’s when we finally go off. We ABSOLUTELY MEAN WHAT WE SAY. Anything said to you has been playing in our minds for a long time.
I agree💯it should be equal and both care about each others feelings.... Resiprosity 💯💙💙💙
FACTS!!!
Excellent point
I have a guy now that throws obvious hints for me to consider how he’s feeling… even though I know for a fact he’s prioritizing other women over our connection. Because he’s been honest about letting me know he can’t consistently contact me everyday because he’s already dedicated himself to his “platonic” women friends over me…. Oh yeah… he also invited a coworker to an outting of ours. Both acted like oh no we’re just friends but yet…ol boy is just full of it. And he acted like I was so mean because I wouldn’t get with his program. Acting as if I’m not taking his feelings into consideration. Well technically I already ended it back in Dec… but he truly believes just because he’s honest with his Phoney betrayals…. The woman should still b understanding of his feelings & go along with it
Girl run 🏃🏽♀️
Amen thank you for the word 🙏 😊 ☺️ 😀 it do not go one way it to way God bless 🙏 😊 🙌 ❤️ ♥️ 😀 🙏 you
Totally agree
Yes...his needs matter. Women need to be kinder to good men. ❤️🙏💯
Say it again!!! We have been tricked into believing hardness and meaness is the same as strength. We think kindness and gentleness is the same as weakness. Then we cheer each other on as "strong, black women", when often, we're really just walking-wounded and trying not to be hurt anymore. Our relationships (dating, marital, familial, parental) become the casualties of war.
Kindness matters esp when it comes to considering fulfilling someone's needs. #Respect #Consideration
Beautiful message!!!! Please keep up the good work. Yes it does have to be on both sides of each other thinking. It's very important to have a wonderful agreement and spiritually understanding to make relationships as equal.
yess my blackman dont communicate good woman and good man belong to each other one sided relationship becs my man dont communicate both desire they have to know each with talk to each thank you couch✌️🙏🏽❤️
I embrace it but I MUST INTENTIONALLY be mindful and show him daily vs autopilot social constructs. It’s hard but if you want reciprocity go ta work.
The problem is most people
Particularly men think their baggage is a
Package deal
Truth
I believe in that I understand that
You are a blessing to me❤❤ love how you do your podcasts❤❤🙏🙏
💯 agree
prayers sent ❤☮️
Amen
100% so true
True
You're doing a great job. Your videos are very much on point. Sisters listen up!!!!
Big facts
AMEN THIS GO BOTH WAY!!
WELL SAID!!!!
SO TRUE
👏 couldn't agree more 💯
This doesn’t seem accurate. Women are most likely always seeking solutions in a relationship to make it better. Ex: A man isn’t likely to suggest couples counseling.
Men are not tapped into their feelings , even more now than ever. And given that the recent divorce stats say 81% of women are the ones filing for divorce now, that means they did A LOT to work things out. Women have issues with letting go, so that means the men aren’t showing up, not only for women but themselves.
I got so cought up in doing all je desired that ive realized he doesn't do for me what i do for him
Amen and Amen 🙏😊❤
I think this coach needs to update their material, get more in tune with the cultural temperature, read all the studies on the “crisis of men” and then revisit this video. Bc he missed the mark.
So True Amen Thanks Stephan Love Youuuuuuu........👋🏽💜🥰👍🏾
I believe people are just too superficial to get to that part in a relationship
Until they come into their soul and live authentically instead of from the ego, that’s what you get, a lot of times… that superficial way about themselves. Vulnerability is key.
You both equally blessed
That’s true ❤
Yes and you have to wait and learn
I agree 🔥
So true and thank you for your wisdom!💙
Amen🙏. That is true
Amen to that
THAT'S WHEN COMMUNICATION COMES IN ..😊😊💙❤🙏
I think sometimes we gotta remember it's hard on both sides, if your man being loyal and good to you be the same to him and watch him flourish, a woman job Im starting to believe is nurture the best out her man while the man is kind of like the backbone and moral Instiller and the protector for the family. I don't think u ever stop learning as a man that's why I believe men become more valuable depending what u consider value as we get older
Thank for sharing this
But individuality! I thought we didn't need anyone?
Yes true talk thank you ❤❤❤
There are very few good men as women ❤
What if he doesn't have much desire or motivation?
Amen 🙏
I embrace this, but men need to appreciate a good woman. Men seem to worry about being so masculine, "I'm the man of the household" attitude that they won't open up, and communicate with their women. We need our feelings to be heard, we need men to genuinely listen. When l see that he isn't listening to me, but he wants me to listen to him, makes me resentful towards him. So you have to treat your partner how you want to be treated, the goes for both men and women.
True facts
That's true
AMEN!🔥❤️
Not excusing either sex but men & women: we are basically "wired" differently I hear ?
Amen
How is it the woman needs to correct everything when we have all of these abusive men unloving women and children . Please try and hold men accountable or nothing will ever change.
You have men that only want you to pour into them. I see it! They don’t reciprocate some of them. I can always tell when I come across a man that has never received support or anybody cared about their feelings. They become attached to me. And feel like I should be filling their cup daily. My own father felt I should protect him and support him and I was his youngest daughter. He would abuse my mother because of his mommy issues. He never did what he was supposed to do as a man, working nothing. But want to come to me for everything and put pressure on me as a child just because of my sex. I couldn’t even be a kid. Then when I meet men I notice immediately when they want me to pour into them, support them, believe in their dreams and feelings but what about mine. And I’m not even dating these guys just in conversation I notice it. They don’t understand the law of reciprocity.
💕🎶🎼😌
Roberta Flack
The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face 🙏
💯💯💯💜
Those hair extensions and beards, though.
this man is talking in circles
Amen 🙏❤
I'll have no problem pouring into my man. It's when I notice I'm the only one giving, that I stop. I'll communicate but I'm finding it's like trying to nail jello to a wall😅
💥🎯
All y'all goofballs talking about how men don't communicate! They do all the time if they feel safe and comfortable! They'll show you through actions also! Also, Stephan is speaking on general terms in a healthy relationship! Stop complaining, either stay or go
Right
Trusttttt
❤️
None good, but God and those in His steps:
Mark 10:18
And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God.
Psa 37:23
The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord:and he delighteth in his way.
Which episode is this from?
🙏🏿🙏🏿
I don’t really think a lot of these men get on channels just for Clickbait. Because he know that is not true
"A good man is a blessing to a woman....just as a good woman is a blessing to a man..."
StephanSpeaks
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm 🤔
Can ,You have a Married Man has a Good Friend??
This constant obsession to relationships especially with a man is borderline idolatry and fulfilling thr book of Genesis: "women will desire/obsessed to man...We need Grace to see it God's way on both sides 🙏🏼
❤️❤️❤️❤️
It's interesting how you start off holding each party accountable, but than shift your focus to women. Let me help you, a man will receive from a woman what he puts into her and the relationship. There is no different formula, try as you might to find equal footing, the male must pour good water onto good soil. He must be the head first. You do not take my word for it. Just try it or ask people in a healthy marriage. If the man isn't pouring into her cup,her cup will be dry(period).
I tell my sons. God will pour enough into you,to pour into your wife and she into her children. That is the design. Men keep wanting a woman to pour into them. You are supposed to be overflowing from the source, sir.
The problem is the narcissistic men are much better at finding the good women first and before you know it she’s left traumatised from an abusive relationship and will then come with paranoia and maybe a bit more selfish to protect herself
Tell me what you want
😁❤️👏🙌
In my opinion you would be more handsome if you cut that bear or wear it shorter
I disagree. Great message but it doesn’t work like that. Women want the window dressing.
Tell me your community is accursed suffering from a multitude of multiplied generational curses manifesting into people without actually telling me🤦♂️
His hair is so off putting
Truth
Amen 🙏