I had two alcoholic parents that beat me bloody daily, for no reason, just because I was alive. It took me into my 30's before I could socialize with peers, and the scars of the abuse are life-long. It shaped my character, and I am nothing like my parents - but I chose a childless life and have very few friends. I am absolutely not lonely, this is my way of life. I chose to be a firefighter, medic and cop, and in this way cared for others. Don't let society dictate your path of life.
While I empathize with your past experiences, the problem with your statement is that you could have choosen to opt out of living at any point in time during your life, but you chose not to. Why? Because no matter what you've gone through, deep down you know that to be alive is better than to not be alive. Not bringing children into this world is your choice, but please don't paint it as some selfless act.
@@oriehi_raphael_paul I would say that most men crave for the dream of having a beautiful family of their own but the risk is immensely against the modern men. I'm glad that some have found someone to raise children's to this world and wish them the best.
This was very touching, I had the same domestic abuse upbringing, tried ending my life when I was 12, my brother saved me. The way this world is i am not interested to bring children into this world, I love my own company now days and wouldnt have it any other way.
I escaped a life of poverty by avoiding heard mentality. I didn't have a single role model to guide me but I had an abundance of bad examples. A blessing in disguise, I imagine.
EXACTLY...i remember when i was 7. To think about poverty and how i would not live that life. I just did the opposite of what everyone in the hell hole i grown up did.
Absolutely - anti-role models can be just as helpful as real role models. Looking at someone and saying, "I don't want to end up like that" can be powerful.
I am 48, never married, and childless. I catch myself feeling like I'm weird, have failed at something everybody else does, and not living up to something. But I never wanted, nor even liked, children. And I find it very questionable to rely on another person for fulfilment, completeness, and a sense of security. My parents seperated after 37 years, when I was already 34. So, that did enhance my feeling that in the end, there is no such thing as ultimate trust in someone else. Humans are mood-driven fleshy robots, totally unpredictable. Self-reliance and feeling complete on your own are absolutely essential.
Until you have to be accountable in your life review and come back when you fail to achieve your life purpose. No pressure lol.@@Lone_Star86 Read up on NDEs and your YOLO will shrivel up fast
I'm 53 and never had kids but several of my ex-girlfriends had kids shortly after we broke up (usually one year later). 1) I read that studies show that our DNA finds its way into kids that aren't technically ours, not sure that's true. 2) I helped these girls in their lives so there are more kids on Earth thanks to my being here. While it's not my DNA per se, I still helped the community. Some of us are better off being free and helping 100 people than being tied to helping 1 other person. Also, the financial risk of ruin for a man these days is a huge factor. I don't regret not having an ex wife.
It's okay for men to not have kids (2/3 of men who ever lived did not) because they pay NET taxes. It's not so much okay for women to not have kids (1/3 of women who ever lived did not) because they are on the receiving end. But that would self correct when men could choose which 1/3 of women not to reproduce. But now we have the welfare state paying her rent, social media telling her she's hot and Tinder hooking her up with an occasional Chad with Bad taste. When you subsidize something, you get more of it. We got more fugly women (who now want to see themselves represented on TV).
I'm 72, never married, have no children, and just a few important friends. I spend lots of time in solitude in my small home. I have no pressing needs or responsibilities, no worrying debt, and plenty of time to think. For me, a life of observance and contemplation is very important. Making a family and doing great things that may improve humanity is a wonderful way to create a lasting legacy, but I much prefer to sit this one out.
Along my life, over 60 now, I never fitted in. Never felt belonging to a group or another, never liked what most people of my age liked. I thought there was something wrong about me. I had my own world and was happy being in it. This video shad a light in this life and made me feel normal for the first time. So happy reading others accounts showing that there are more people out there feeling the same way. Thank you so much for showing this vision where we can feel that in the end we belong to a group in its own way!
Same here. 64 and I never fitted in society. Only recently detected that I was a 'system buster' spiritually speaking it was never the goal to fit in, on the contrary!
I did everything society told me to do, my life was miserable. I don't care anymore what society says, I think for myself, what I want, what's good for me, what makes me happy. I'm here to be myself, not someone else.
Why do what society wants you to do in the first place if it's not what you want? I am the one that wants kids, not the society. It IS a natural imperative, without it I wouldn't be here.
What did society tell you? not to have kids? or to be a boss bitch? (assuming you're a woman). Society is just a standard it doesn't mean you MUST go with it ...rather adapt I would say
You want to get married, settle down and have kids? That's great! You want to stay single, focus on yourself and your passions/hobbies? That's great too! I don't understand why some people get offended at the idea of the latter, as if we're somehow cheating at life by not doing the former.
I think those who judge are likely unhappy with their own lives and decisions. If someone is truly content with their own decisions they don’t feel the need to judge the lives of others..This applies to both people with and without children
Whatever you want to do is accepted in a hyper modern and individualistic society maybe but in collective or even somewhat traditional societies and historically it was stigmatized when you stayed single and don't start a family and sometimes even now it's considered schizoid behavior
@@questioneverything1224that's true sometimes and other times people judge when you don't go with the norm or you don't do what everyone else in the family did it's not always because they're miserable or think they made the wrong choice
Because you are not holding up the society you rely on. You are not paying your side of the bargain. I have all the stress, cost and effort to create, soldiers, nurses, engineers, surgeons, Doctors, teachers, builders, farmers the list goes on and on. You have not paid your fair share but expect to still reap the benefits. It's not about feelings it's about duty-free
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. Marriage isn't for everyone. Marriage is a wonderful institution invented so that two people could solve problems together they would never have had, had they remained single. Being single is an opportunity to live life on your own terms. A single life, not married with no children, has the ability to maneuver in life, with minimal constraints, that is the true power. Men are not worried about dying alone. Men are worried about living miserably. I'd rather live dangerously free than peacefully enslaved.
It seems like you don't think of marriage as a partnership, 2 people who love each other and want to navigate life together, and h ave a family that brings untold joy. You will be very lonely someday.
@@janettemasiello5560 Yeah it's possible that he'll be very lonely one day, maybe he's already lonely, maybe he just said that cause he wants to convince himself that he'll be fine alone, or maybe he's really just happy to be alone.. we can't really tell.. but I hope he'll tell us why it's better to live dangerously free than peacefully enslaved....
I am 67 years old. I never wanted to be married or have children. The idea of all of it was really unappealing to me. I have no regrets. In fact, I couldn’t figure out why people even wanted to do it. I actually always preferred animals to people, so I’ve always had a bunch of them. Even when I was part of a family growing up I didn’t like it. And personally, I don’t think my parents should have ever had kids because they were terrible at being parents. And I agree with you, when people choose to have kids, the kids don’t have a say in it. If they did, many would say no thanks. Being alive isn’t easy.
there is an existence after this one sir, i am Hindu from India and human birth is mostly suffering, please do read The Bhagavad Gita As It Is by Bhaktivedanta Prabhupada ji, all humans are unique, there are two ways of living life, materialistic or spiritual, this modern existence, you cannot be 100% spiritual/religious,one should have balance, there are realms of existence besides this earth, and how one lives his life determines where we go after this, to be born again as a human on earth, is for me the worst thing possible, Hare Krishna
@@bodhixxx1 same, i used to think it was a cosmic mistake, still do, but have my aged folks at home so gotta keep going at least for their sake, im their only child, and they have been very very good parents
Same here. I have had a strong opinion against having children since I was 5. Now I am 47 and think exactly the same, but I can relate to you regarding your parents. My parents neglected me emotionally and I think that’s the reason why I never wanted children, because I never felt truly loved so I didn’t want to reproduce that pattern. Even if I am still for being childless for many reasons, I also think that it’s not that normal to have a strong opinion on that issue being just a little child.
@@elsaaforges my reasons for staying single are a bit different, in India where im from, most are arranged marriages, based on community, wealth, status, etc i have also been unlucky in my affections for the opposite sex, also i think i have unrealistic standards, marriages today are mostly like a business transaction, sure you might fall in love after the marriage, have kids etc but nah, id rather be alone. i cant live a life of pretention, i cant marry for the sake of getting married. its too hard. nope, wont do it
Steve Jobs nailed it when he said, "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. "
Most of the people I know who have chosen not to have children are the most thoughtful, intelligent people I know. Peterson doesn't know whry he is talking about.
My father had 10 children. From the 9 remaining, as one of my half-siblings passed away, only 3 of us were willing to take care of him during his last months. The rest of them didn't even want to have him at their homes. Having children and being a good parent is no guarantee that you will be taken care of when you're old.
Most people are spoiled today. You sound spoiled and entitled. It's not good to pamper your children as they will turn out thankless. Another thing is mother's whom used the father and lie on him. Generally men are not appreciated by society.@@Мага_Крутой
@@Мага_Крутой please don't speak disrespectfully of somebody you don't know. He was a good man, a good father and always worked hard to provide for all of us. Sadly, some people are just ungrateful.
When I was 9 years old, I told my mama that I would never get married or have children. I remember her saying that I might change my mind, but it was my life to choose what I wanted to do or not. I'm 67 years old, not married, and have no children; I am very happy with my life and don't feel like I have missed a thing.
I never married, I don't have kids. I think generally people that choose this route are not valued by society. However I know why I made the decisions I made and I stand by them. I have my reasons and I don't have to explain them to anybody. You're allowed to be you.
Didn’t have a kid until late, best decision, I shouldn’t have waited so long. Being a parent is the most challenging thing in life...spending money carelessly does however follow the majority in the West.
Dude nobody said you have to have kids. My uncle is 62 and never had kids or get married and he’s happy. But if you want kids and want to get married then you can if you want if that’s what makes you happy. Just do what makes you happy
I never went onto the apps. Met women in person. There isn't a difference. I do feel like a badass solo renegade now. Having fun my way with my time. It's great.
Everyone reading this, let me just say: Don’t let online strangers or family or friends determine if you should want kids or not. If you do, PLEASE make sure you are in a good financial, mental, physical, and emotional state to do so (and with a equally agreeable partner). If you don’t, then create some short and long-term goals since you’ll have a pretty large free-time margin down the line. Keep walking in truth and in love ❤
I refuse to put up with the insanity of the modern w-om-an and the madness of our broken dating and mating systems, not to mention the merciless, anti-male divorce court industry. I also refuse to continue to regard my gen-it-als as mere toys. They are for making another human being, not playing around with. Therefore, I have resolved to become celibate. All unused s-exu-al energy will be converted into creativity.
I'm in my 30s. I'm single, I have no kids and I'm happy. All the money I make is spent on myself and all my free time is spent on doing things that I like doing. Call me immature, call me selfish, say that I'm wrong. In my humble opinion, the ones who are deluding themselves are those who think that the universe gives a crap about whatever they choose to do.
Exactly it shouldn't matter if someone wants to start a family or not. I'm not a parent by any means but one quote that sticks to the back of my head is: "Every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child"
Good on you I went with the heard got married when I didn't want to so I could fit in ended up in a divorce marriage just doesn't feel right to me I felt very trapped. Maybe with the perfectly compatible person it does I have my little girl out of it but I just don't think I was built for it.
That's great. 🎉When men force things they don't just make themselves unhappy, they also make the women or partners unhappy as well. I hope you continue to do what you know makes you happy whether that changes or stays the same.
I never wanted to have children or to get married. I'm 58 now and still feel this way. Did i miss out on something ? Maybe, but i really cannot see what that would have been. I DO know from a very early age that i am a loner, and those around me keep reminding me of this fact, by always attacking it, proving i understand myself a lot better than they could ever do.
I’m 54, and enjoy it even more as I see my friends having to support grown children, raise their grandchildren, and have no money or freedom! Too much drama for me.
I'm 33 years old, I don't have kids, I don't want to have kids. For most of my life I feel like I've already failed at living for myself, I've been somewhat been overwhelmed over the opinions of others before people even gave me a real deal of expressing myself, people like racist, people of great authority, crazy alcoholics and self centred people. I'm more of a loner anyways because most people I've been in contact with hardly have enough in common with me nor interests with me. I don't want to be overwhelmed again by politics and the ridiculous point of views of others whom share an overload of their passion.
Recently I caught up with an old boyfriend, we dated in our late 20s, I am 50 now. He was a bit worried for me, since I never got married, nor have kids. I thanked him for his concern and I wasn’t offended in the least. That’s when I knew I was truly comfortable with the choices I’ve made.
Most women regret not having kids. Most men don't care one way or the other. That makes sense given that women have the kids financed by someone else and men have to finance the kids.
I would say to Jordan P: I would have had a kid if I had found a woman who I loved, and who I believed would be a good parent to my child, while also being myself, psychologically, emotionally, and financially prepared to have a kid. We all need to find our own paths in life, and not force ourselves into marriage and creating a child because "we're supposed to." Having a child in such a way is the very definition of selfishness. The last thing this world needs is more people born into unhealthy and loveless situations.
Same. I'm not against having children. I know I would love my child. But how am I supposed to think about children when I haven't even met the right mother for them? My previous serious relationships have ended badly. If I had had children with those women, it would have been a nightmare. I'd be in debt or just plain broke.
I think a lot of times people that follow society's norms and conventions are scared by those that don't. If someone has gotten married, bought a house, and has children, they are extremely invested into that lifestyle. Being confronted with someone happily living an alternative lifestyle might evoke feelings of doubt. They might have never considered doing things differently, or according to their own ideas. And that feeling of: "Wait, I could have chosen? I could have decided for myself what I wanted to do with my life?" can be pretty intense. Also, making life choices (like having children) that you can't go back on kind of force you into making yourself believe it was the right choice. And that also works both ways of course.
@@dannymoneywell Have you even seen the video? Einzelgänger stated that having kids is not a guarantee that they will provide for you when you're old. Your kids might simply not bother with you or, as it has unfortunately happened, die before that can happen.
This is why I decide to just do whatever tf I want and if others dont like me, then that's on them. Not me. I have zero expectations for people to like me, and I will not be a slave to others anymore. If they hate me, I am okay with it because I know that their hate comes from a one-sided perspective. No one will ever know the true me. So why should I listen to someone who only knows a small piece of me. I know who I am and no one will ever guilt trip me into thinking otherwise.
@@dannymoneywell do you know the date, time and circumstances of your death? You can't . So how do you know you won't die alone? My grandmother had 4 children 9 grandchildren and a loving husband, she was alone in her home when she died. Even if your children live close to you, their lives are more important to them than your life, especially if they have jobs and kids of their own. I haven't spoken to my brother in 29 years, do you know you won't fall out with your kids because of their choices or your refusal to change? You can't. You can't know your future so you can't predict it. If you outlive your spouse, and your kids aren't physically or emotionally close to you, you're going to depend upon strangers for everything, the very things you claim causes you pity for those who you think will experience those things. You have no control over your life or your death, you can only live it and hope you don't suffer the things you appear to fear. People who stay single don't delude themselves about the possibility of how they will spend their final years, but they aren't prepared to sacrifice their single existence because of it. So with that in mind, I see your position a coping mechanism. You fear the future you highlight, and can't cope with that possibility. If you're married and have children, did you do so for genuine reasons or did you cross your fingers and hope those actions would reduce the likelihood of experiencing the things you've afraid of?
I am a 32 year old father to a three year old. Life is much much harder ever since having a kid. It's unecessary hard.. If you want to have children and live like this fine, if not, that's fine too. There are enough humans on this earth... we are not facing an extinction problem
@@celpabedn how many people choose not to take care of their parents ? A lot are in nursing homes. Not to mention how many people have bad relationships with their parents where they wouldn't even consider taking care of them? I think its stupid to assume you get a caregiver when you have kids. Check out vivarium movie (2019) with Jesse Eisenberg. Pretty eye opening.
@@ivanvukasovic1371what could anyone say in response to this, except... Why do you care? And also, what is it you personally think children owe to their parents?
@ivanvukasovic1371 i will be honest to you: if you knew what you wanted, you d be so sure, even your parents couldnt stop you from being you- aka: you wouldnt really give a fuck. 'there is a possibility' is not equal with ' the two of us are fine with that' . The reason why you give 1 fuck, is bcs this opinion talks For you. You want children. Your partner doesnt.
Those who pressure others to do as they did, getting married, having kids, just want you to validate their own life decisions. That serves to reaffirm that they made the right choice.
JP is a government plant there to lead and control the opposition since there are a lot of sexless single angry men out there talking in groups on the net, sharing information. To those in power, this is scary, as it should be. The fabric of society is unraveling, and men are checking out. Historically, the majority of men never passed on their genes. They died one way or another or were sexually selected against. So he is also wrong about the facts. Government and corporations need manpower tho and there is a severe demographic decline going on that is global in scale. As for me I'm going my own way.
I had that. Decades ago I moved from poverty farm land USA and went to the sunbelt. I prospered. At one point one of my farm land family said 'when will you come back here and suffer like the rest of us?' Never did that....
A child is a human being. One should not have children if they cannot care for and provide for the children. Also children need time and dedication from the parents that brought them into this world.
Cowardly thinking. There is never a perfect time for a child. Can you say all your life choices are perfect? Should you not make any choices in life if they aren't well thought out and guaranteed to bring a successful outcome ?
I'm 58, single, never married, no children. Always had to deal with people judging me. Once I went to a counselor and he gave me a children's book called Ferdinand the bull. It actually really helped. Now I don't care what people think of me. All I know is I'm not lonely and I absolutely love my life and it is very full and enriching.
An impact on my perception of having kids, is when my father told me that his father (my grandfather I never really knew) despised his children. The assumption of parents loving their children is naïve.
it's not, and that makes no sense. Loving children is imperative. If you don't, you're disrespecting your ancestors as well as your predecessors. Your grandfather was a failure and naive, not those who love.
@@ProtoIndoEuropean88 all people are not the same, who knows what that old man went through in his life, maybe he loved another but married the grandmother, and was sad throughout his life, maybe he had a drinking problem, everyone is different, there are childless people who are good with kids and parents who abuse their kids, the world is a strange place
@@शिवा1008 Then the problem is simply toxic people, not having kids nor making a family! The problem lies in how our society is being run by these politicians.
Sometimes the hardest to deal with is the judgement and opinions of those around you. Knowing your family, coworkers and friends consider you as a weirdo or incapable or broken in some way. And to explain all this goes way above the head of the normal culturally integrated human.
What can we do if usually if not every single time this kind of speech and ideas are the product of weird incels who couldn't get laid if their lives depended on it so they say they don't need these things to make them feel better about their own disfunctional emotional and social interactions and the empty shells they call their lives? Not gonna paint the white sheep black just to appease you.
As much as it can hurt, you will always be an anomaly to someone who just can't or doesn't want to acknowledge your way of living as valid, and the way they go about it can range from a minor inconvenience to the most depraved shit ever. It's why speaking your mind and standing up for your own good is so important, or else they'll use every chance they get to steamroll over you
@@ItsaDonut you are right, and its really not a big problem for me. Its more like, how others perceive me, its a part of my psyche still. Having a nice car, wearing nice clothes, having a nice house, its nice to think people perceive you as successful, that you made it. Having normal relationships with children is also part of that "success" just because society decided it should be, no amount of philosophy from our individuality can change society. Since we cannot change society, we can only change ourselves, we have to accept this and accept that for that part of our lives many people will consider us failures. Even if people love us deeply and respect us, due to their conditioning, at times they will feel pity for us, think we are broken, they cannot help it. This can be hard at times, and my younger self struggled with this a lot. Its just slightly sad to consider this, I don't really mean anything by it either, and its not something that needs fixing, just thinking out loud here i guess. Thanks for your support and reply.
Actually I often had people telling me they envy my lifestyle because I am able to manage and do things alone, something that has been taken from them or because they are too afraid to do things alone.
I knew at a very young age that I wanted a peaceful single life. I grew up with tons of drama and disfunction within my own family which led to lots of blaming and narcissism. Id rather live the quiet life than live a life someone else wanted for me and hate it. I saw that go bad in my family as well. Never do something for someone else. Do it bc you want to do it! I cant tell you how many people have wanted to change me to their own liking and for their own benefits. Its disgusting. I dont want to be part of cult aka society.
My father condemned me all throughout my twenties for not starting a family and carrying on the family name. Interestingly enough, in his youth he had multiple lovers with whom he had seven illegitimate children he was barely there for, one divorce and a second marriage that is slowly festering with each passing day.
@@vernongrant3596 when you have only one parent in your life, their opinion of you matters that much. Believe it or not I connected more with my step mom and when she started to hate him too I realized just how toxic he was.
I tried marriage. Got divorced after 8 years. No kids and im 44 with no debt, no drama, and no regrets. I have so much peace now. I tried dating, but I even found that to be a chore.
The minute I think of dating, marriage, kids, spouse, this, that, I'm filled with a nauseating sense of dread that comes. I even have breathing problems, as mild as it is. It just forms an unpleasant knot in my gut
I could never take life seriously. I've never wanted to follow the lifescript 1.0. The longer I live the more I'm convinced that it's best to just stay away from all the human-made drama altogether. Their insecurities, fragile egos, fear of death and controlling, needy nature are way too exhausting to deal with. I just want peace and quiet, nothing else.
I understand these all...yet can't stop myself from being affected....what to do!! I seriously want to imply what I know... still i find myself stuck to things said to me or judgements passed on ... what's the way out!! I sincerely m asking
@@shraddyswift8206once you realize you are not your thoughts and emotions but just the vessel experiencing them you will become free. Learning to be the observer and not applying judgement to the thoughts that pass like clouds is a fundamental part in separating from the chains of the ego. I highly recommend Eckhart Tolle, Micheal Singer, and Mooji teachings to help better understand this concept. All the love and hope you can find freedom.
@@shraddyswift8206 When you observe your lingering thoughts and feelings you become above them. So acknowledge those worrying thoughts about those judgements and then say what you truly want. Did you know your mind shapes your reality? Billions of people want happiness and now he universe is showing us how, shape your thoughts.
When I was a younger man, I used to wonder why the married with children spent so much time trying to convince the young and unmarried that it was an imperative to get married and have children. I heard all the reasons and rationalizations, and while I wasn't opposed to marriage, I didn't have it as a personal goal. In fact, I think that marriage is an essential institution for the furtherance of our species and for the development and maintenance of society. Still, I couldn't quite grasp why there was so much pressure by those who choose the family way to convince everyone that that was the only sensible and honorable way. Finally, it dawned on me, as I observed at all the unhappy married couples, the bitter divorces, and consequent state of society. The reason must be that misery loves company.
Marriage is not an essential institution bro. It’s thrust upon us, the state interferes through marriage. Women have been brainwashed that marriage is a spiritual occasion, all these disney characters and happily ever after psyop. State controls men through women.
For me, life got much better when I learned to mind my own business and not try to mind others business. So, if I am to suggest something, it is - "Do what you think is best for you, and ignore the opinions of others".
Same here. Whenever I made choices based on what I thought was best for me I was winning in life. Whenever I made choices based on opinions of others, my life was turning into a mess.
I onced walked into a cabin in the woods where everyone carved their names into the walls and all the wooden furniture- thereby totally trashing the place. They did this so a physical manifestation of their presence would remain after they left the cabin. This sums up the primary motivation why most people have children.
People have children because we are biologically built by genes that are selfishly trying to continue to exist. The Selfish Gene by Dawkins. And the fields of evolutionary biology and psychology expound on all this. It’s basic biology. It’s not a conscious choice so much as an instinct for most people. The more curious question is why people who have kids seem to want all the other 8 billion humans to do the same. Why would they care? This also has philosophical answers but beyond the scope of this comment.
Primitive biological desire yes, stupid well that would depend on your reason for the primitive behavior and if your allowing your biology and not your 'logic' to lead you@@normanosborn1277
That's a bad comparison though. You'd have no complain about the people who built that cabin in the woods, thereby leaving a physical manifestation of their presence in a place that didn't have them before. I myself find parallels between the cabin and childless people. A long line of ancestors tried their best to raise children and yet it ended with childless people because "life sucks". That's like the people who doesn't maintain the cabin passed down their family line and left it rotten and marked with graffiti.
@@FactsCountdown LOL. facts. I was interested in a big family when I was younger. It never worked out and time just went on and I got older and older. Now, I'm in my mid 40s and happy that I never had kids because frankly, the world and most people are so sh1tty, that I wouldn't want to sentence a human being to a lifetime on this planet.
@@Slender-billed_Curlew so we should try finding good person which we can make happy each other or just try to be happy alone? may be being alone is not the answer? or being with partner is not the answer?
I'm almost 43 years old and a single man. I've never been totally against marrying but I've always known it was optional, not mandatory. My family members have often been puzzled as to why I decided to opt out of marriage barring something extraordinary happening. However, I don't absolutely need a soulmate or children. What I do need is peace, tranquility and emotional balance in my life. I'll remain single if it means avoiding unnecessary drama.
For me, my freedom to chose what to do every day with my time without having obligations to children or even a partner is priceless. I will never give this up and I don‘t care anymore what others may think of how I live my life. If they use their time to think and debate about how others live their life, they are the ones using their time the wrong way. As long as you are not harming or taking advantage of others, you are free to live your life the way you want.
I follow my nature. No partner, no family, no stress, no obligations, no troubles, no consessions. Freedom, serenity, Joy, goals, creativity, nature. I love it! 😊
You are the only person who can decide what's right for you. If you choose not to get married and have children, it's no one else's business. Your life, your choice.
Except western countries are sort of pyramid schemes for social benefits so without kids expect a different quality of life when you are old if too many people dont have kids.
@@ItsaDonut Because the world is a cold difficult place to thrive in even with a family and without one it's and even harder colder lonelier place where at the end of your natural life you will be alone and depending on strangers for everything, it's not that complex of a concept to grasp.
@@dannymoneywell Having a family with kids does not guarantee that they will be there for you when you are old, or even care about you as is. Children leave their parents all the time, spouses leave their partners all the time. Besides, your kids could potentially not make it that far. On the other side, having no partner or kids doesn't guarantee loneliness. You can have a social circle of people who care about you instead of strangers. You can also find companionship in other things that aren't tied to family. Can always take care of the elderly who aren't related to you, or have a pet.
Fact is, life drags us to many places we can't predict. Sometimes we want children or marriage and we can't find it. Sometimes we have sex with a woman, she gets pregnant and we marry because now we have a responsibility whether we like it or not. So the best thing is to make peace with how our lives are going, either having more money and buying a car or a computer as a single man, or watching your child grow and deriving satisfaction from that. We choose less than we think, it's hard to wrestle our impulses, and it is hard to be either married or single, because the life we don't have seem alluring because we only focus on the good parts of it.
Most people don’t want kids though. They want sex. Once the kids show up then they want to take care of them. That’s how biology makes animals for the most part. In all of human history the vast majority of children were not planned and they are “wanted” after they show up. Now that we can decouple sex and reproduction the game changes.
We all are self obsessed, self obsessed so much so that we don't even see the stupidity of this video creators statement: I would want to work on my goal instead of marriage and maybe make contribution to humanity. The problem is not this, but if 100% people followed your life path THERE WOULD NO HUMANITY BE LEFT. 😅 It always comes down to is whatever your doing in life can other people do it or not when they watch you, don't let other people fill up with contempt that they hate you also don't let them see you, truly mind your solitude.
@@words007first of all. All of the people never think the same.and also the creator of the video never mentioned like, this is the right thing to do. You're just finding an stupid excuse to justify your ideology.
Wow, THANK YOU! 58 years of questions, never married, no children for fear of being what I came from and knowing my existence was forced. You touched on many things! 🙏
I am a woman who has never wanted to have children. I have a meaningful job helping others at a hospital, I have a few good friends, I do a lot of fun stuff in my free time (I climb mountains, ski, fly a paraglider, read, meditate, do yoga, play a piano, swim in the lake, watch movies... ) and on my way I even met an amazing partner and have love in my life. I am truly happy and satisfied living my life. I love my nephews and my partner's nieces, but whenever I see a mother and a child I just think "I am so happy it is not me" and go back to my wonderful life... ❤
Yea, that's great. But although many men think that's okay for them to be single and childless, they heavily judge women who are CHOOSING to be single and childless.
Perfectly timed video for all those “why are you single”, “when are you getting married” and “when are you having kids” conversations that inevitably occur at this time of year!
Reminds me of a joke. "When i was younger and attended weddings of relatives the older ones would come up and say: you are next. When i started doing this at funerals they didnt find it funny anymore" :)
I’m perfectly happy being child free and never been married. I had girlfriends and made this clear to them. I enjoy traveling, buying my big boy toys and financially stable. I’ll be 50 yrs old in two months and have no regrets.
"A child didn't ask to be here." I spend a lot of time thinking this since young age. I didn't ask to be born and I'm not happy. That's probably the reason I never wanted to bring a life into this world of suffering. Now nearly 60 and I cannot thank enough to be able to support the life I really enjoy, which is not much for many people, and not caring what others think about it. I learned overtime that the most important thing in life is if you are happy without thinking what others think of you. This video says it all. Thank you for another great video!
The problem with that statement is that you could have choosen to opt out of living at any point in time during those [nearly] 60 years, but you chose not to because no matter what terrible experiences you may have had, deep down you know that to be alive is better than to not be alive. Not bringing children into this world is 100% your choice, but please don't paint it as some selfless act.
It's just my own view. I did not paint anyone's view with anything. I learned to appreciate living but I do not have attachment to it whatsoever. If I die tomorrow I wouldn't miss living at all. Here is my point. You would think I should have killed myself, but that is precisely the suffering I am talking about. Taking my own life will surely be an enormous physical suffering, wouldn't' it? I didn't have to think about that if I didn't live. I do appreciate my mother for bringing me to this world, so I call her every year on my birthday to thank her for having me. Although she choose it herself, she suffered greatly when she gave birth to me. For that suffering, I respect her choice and try not to be a total waste for her. I respect people's choice of how they live their lives or how they think, because I have no right to judge anyone's lives. And I hope other's don't judge mine as well.
I am 71, never married. Sometimes I do regret not having any children, at least none that I know of. But I've enjoyed life it's been an adventure and looking forward to the rest of this adventure
Admirable honesty about regretting not having kids but nonetheless having enjoyed life and looking forward to the rest of life. I feel similarly, it’s not black and white for me!
I'm 41, divorced with no kids, not religious and couldn't be happier. I don't date, I no longer desire to be in a relationship and don't currently have pets. Anytime I aspired to be what society wanted me to be, I was miserable. I may have mental health struggles and brain problems to contend with, but I'm happier in life than I ever have been before. I live a very peaceful life where I can pretty much do whatever I want and I would never go back to the life society wants me to live.
While this might sound conspiratorial (growing up in a cult like Mormonism will tend to do that) An idea Started to form in my twenties, is that they want to sell you something that makes you deeply miserable, yet market as the be all end all of happiness, so that you are so busy trying to figure out why you are so unhappy that you simply are unable to see that your being robbed for essentially no reason. The text book example of this is the car. So many people are maddingly depressed when driving, their health suffers, yet they are told not only that it's necessary, but that it's "freedom". Meanwhile cars get bigger, the loans get bigger, and the people get bigger, all without understanding that literally the person in Amsterdam is healthier, wealthier and happier BECAUSE they don't own a car.
@@ethanstump I would argue that cars can be a great time IF you have the wealth to maintain them, and you live in a place with low traffic. As for the average American consumer...well...they get sold a bill of goods and stay miserable as a result of it. The McMansion, the SUV, the long stressful high traffic commuting, all of it is a garbage lifestyle. I went a different path and am far happier for it.
@@Ziegfried82 that's the thing though, is that car manufacturers specifically lobbied the government during the world wars NOT to be labeled as luxury goods. i personally would've loved if cars had remained the domain of the rich, but the rich specifically did not want that to be so.
I'm close to 41 and happy that I made the decision to not have children. All my life, everyone has told me that I'd make a great dad, and yes, I agree. I did want children up until 6 years ago. I'm just glad it didn't happen when I wanted to be a father. I cherish my peace, tranquility, and free time way too much. As a life long introvert, having all that drama, noise, constant eventfulness, never having worthwhile free time, loss of tons of money, constant worry about the well being of my loved ones, being social by force so my child/children can have healthy mentalities, etc...would be a nightmare. I'm an awesome uncle & great uncle. That's more than enough for me. I just feel bad for my mom. I'm her only child, and she always wanted, and I admit, she deserves to be a grandmother. The only reason my choice bothers me, is because of my mother. She's been so great in my life, even as an adult. My decision robs her of the happiness she deserves 😢
When I was young, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to be a flight attendant, I wanted to live in Hawaii. None of that happened after I got pregnant. After my girls were grown and moved out, I jetted to the southern US and enrolled in college and went to New Orleans with various friends. I got involved in photography and theater. I never finished my degree (it was kinda dumb)…and now I look ahead towards my future. I no longer listen to anyone who tells me what I need to do. I do what I want, when and how I want to do it. My point is, never listen when other people tell you how to live out your life. As far as we know, we only get one life (unless you are Buddhist or something) so make it YOUR best life. ❤
I was 18 when I got married, she was 17. It was hard, I watched my friends all go to college while I slaved away in welding shops. That was 1990. We got through the tough times (first 5-7years) and made it work. Wasn’t easy. But worth it. My kids turned out great, my son went to Navy, married his girl now I have 4 wonderful grandkids. My daughter is now 30. She has chosen to not have kids or get married. I can see both sides of this. Extremes in both decisions. I love them both no matter what. Oh yeah, thought I would add, Money don’t make good parents guys.
Money might not make you a better parent but drifting in their hand built drifting go-kart that their dad welded up for them will. You can't do that along with many other things without having some money to afford to buy good time with them.
You completely sold out and went for the money jugular ;) Welding payed a lot back then, more than PhDs today. Somewhere I heard you get 3x pay in military if you have a spouse. I'm amazed this is not taught in schools as a career path. With a spouse you get the following perks: 1) Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH), 2) Family Separation Allowance (FSA), 3) Tricare Health Insurance, 4) Basic Allowance for Subsistence (BAS), and Other Benefits: These can include access to military commissaries and exchanges, educational benefits, and recreational opportunities. Wow! I think people remain poor because they are kept in the dark via information asymmetry lol
Great interview on diary of a ceo with Chris Williamson. Most men’s brains have been high jacked by their daily dose of online p@r.n hacking their drive to find a mate protect a family, strive for a purpose, be a steward of change from a sick society. They justify with their higher brain like this enzweiler dude denying that their reptilian brain is being manipulated. They participate in the womanly world of talk more than action as they have been programmed for fear. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of not being important enough, so they smile weed to cope. Men are becoming so feminized by society by their inability to see, it’s not about choice…the choice is gone. Addicts only have the choice to get help on order to stop. Most can’t handle the pain so they will fail and go back into comfort. The men that do, will be looked up to as something special when they just actually unplugged from the matrix of brain hacking done by experts of addiction.
I… don’t know what to say. This video came at the PERFECT time for me. I’ve always thought I was weird for wanting to remain single and childless. But I look through the comments, and I see a whole community of people who feel the same way. ❤ Life isn’t a checklist made by other people. Life is an experience determined solely by you.
Well, the only thing I can say about Dr. P scathing opinion in the beginning is this. *That is the typical comment I would expect from a condescending, pretentious, sophistic, baby boomer* yes, the majority of their generation are fooked up ppl, insomuch that they had lived life on easy mode while all subsequent generations had continued deteriorating conditions.
You're definitely not weird! I'm 40, single, no children, never been married, have a successful career, focus on my passions and self development and very happy in the process 😊
When I was pretty young my mom told me "someday you'll have a pain in the ass just like you running around and you'll understand." I replied "nope." I think about that moment fairly regularly. I've stuck to it. I sometimes feel kind of bad because I know for sure she'd love some grandchildren, but bringing a child into this world just seems cruel. Not to mention that in America it's a one way ticket to poverty. The energy that I would spend raising kids, I hope, is being used to advance society in other areas.
There is not even a need to advance society. Most people don't. Many people can't, even if they would like to. But it is not their fault. There is nothing wrong with just living your life without these thoughts of doing something for society. We are not ants.
Yeah we pretty much are wanting more wage slaves to ''contribute to society''. Its BS, I rather be on a stranded island than be in this shithole. Everyone is an opportunist, looking to make some money from you. Nothing in these modern societies is free. People can't even build their own shit because the government owns the land. If I could just pack up find a off the grid area and build my own shit I would. However at some point someone will find it, government will tear that shit down and tell me I have to leave because they own it or theres some law preventing me from occupying the space. Maybe thats why survival skills aren't taught in school, keep people locked in to society.
I'm not targetting your grandma per say but one can't draw conclusion on a single sample. I'd say it's not rare that grand parents may be way nicer with their grand children than they were with their own children (it's a 24/7 relationship, with grandchildren it's only from time to time). The grand parents may also raise their childs like spoiled little brat who won't care in return, so if their kids don't care about them may partly be their fault.
I was born to an abusive mother and a father who I rarely see because he is busy with work My childhood was hell, there was no one to really care about me I was bullied at school, beaten, and burned at home by my mother for no logical reason. In addition, I did not have any real friends. They were all toxic and exploitative. This left me with a lot of scars as I grew older I began to suffer from insomnia and anxiety most of the time, social phobia, in addition to self-loathing and depression. I always wonder: What did I do to deserve all this? I was just a crying, fragile little girl All I want is to feel okay, that I'm good enough, and that I'm worthy of love I really wonder why I didn't think about suicide at that time... I grew up to become an introverted, isolated, and eccentric woman in the eyes of my family and others I became cold, sarcastic, and indifferent to anything that happens to me in this life. Even death doesn't scare me anymore. I think the three best things that have ever happened to me in this cruel world My silly cat, Leon, and my best friend, Lian. I also joined nursing. I did not find nursing suited me at first, but now I believe that I was truly created to be there. I was created to take care of others. I remember that one time brought tears to my eyes when a patient told me while smiling that although I appear to be a cold-hearted woman, I really have the heart of a caring angel. This hit me hard and I was truly touched by his words I am now single and have decided to remain so. I find marriage and having children to be optional and not compulsory as society and those close to us impose on us. My mother pressured me to marry a lot because many people proposed to me for marriage, but I refused. She told me that I would be alone and that no one would care about me, and that I would die and rot alone. I don't know why I laughed at the time, I found it really ridiculous But I was always alone, mom. What has changed now? I'm so used to being like that anyway that even the presence of other people doesn't make me feel comfortable I would rather be like this than have a child exposed to neglect, violence, and bullying, as happened to me A child is in pain and never stops asking what he did wrong, mom I decided to remain single, I am really happy I have my cat and my books and I play the piano and watch the stars and my blue flowers I play chess with my best friend every Friday I have nursing, philosophy and psychology and I didn't really feel like it This happy before Also, as I said, the matter differs from one person to another. The decision in the end is up to you, whether you want to get married and have children or remain single. Just do not let anyone determine that except you, because no one understands you except you.
You had a bad childhood,but you lived through it and that horrible experience formed you as you are now, plus you didn't let other people's perception dictate your life,good things will come now, the worst has passed,good luck:)
I can't thank you enough for how you and your content introduced me to a fresh way of thinking and living. I found this channel back in 2022 while I was going through a really difficult phase of my life and didn't know which way to head. Einzelgänger will always hold a special place in my heart. I am truly thankful. ❤
I agree with this video. My mother suffers from mental illness and my father was an abusive alcoholic. They should have never had children but they had 4 because they were being selfish. I never asked to come into this world. And since they didn't know how to raise children in a loving environment, I suffer from depression, anxiety and OCD. I made the decision years ago not to have children because of this. I also understand that bringing a child into this world is against their will. They might suffer from the same things that I have even if I gave them a loving and supportive environment. I wasn't willing to do that. I am so glad that I decided agaisnt having children. I'm not sad that I won't have anyone to visit me when I am older. I am excited that I will be able to do whatever I want when I am older without disappointing or relying on my children. I have true freedom of not having anyone that relies on me or I rely on.
I’m a 62 year old man. Was married at a young age. Tried to start a family, but no luck. At the time we were greatly disturbed by this, but here I sit nearly 40 years later, divorced and on my own and….strangely enough…..thankful I never had kids. With age and maturity I came to realize that I was much better off childless. My life is less complicated, less expensive, and more free. Loneliness? Nah. Not really a problem for me. I have enough friends and family relations as it is. Also, anytime I need to get out and rub shoulders with people I grab my wallet and my keys and off I go on a leisure activity like travel. I am fully content and this man made a LOT of very good points on this video. Parenthood is not for everyone. To each their own.
I can't appreciate this video enough. Whenever I talk about how having children can be selfish, others look at me like I'm crazy and selfish. I'm not, I've just been able to see past the fairytale we've been sold.
Indeed, being a _good_ parent precludes selfishness while mere reproduction or the desire to do so does not indicate virtue. I've known terribly selfish parents who scarred their children for life. These were regular people whom others would say of them things like "she's so sweet."
My parents fought constantly so I never wanted to risk replicating that scenario in my life. As I grew up my friends were getting divorced and having to pay child support. Just seems like more reasons to avoid it than not.
Yeah same here, they simply never stopped fighting, day & night, 24/7/365. I'm born 1960, parents circa 1930. I do see it as a blue collar, 10th grade educated, greatest / silent gen thing, everyone I knew as a kid, friends & family, same thing - totally abusive parents, to each other, to their kids. I had to get away from my parents when I went away to college, managed to live on my own from then on. Even coming home to visit for a day or 2, right back to the constant fighting, over the same old stupid trivial things for decades, every day, it would trigger feelings of extreme anxiety & depression - later on I figured out I literally have PTSD about my entire childhood, especially family gatherings & holidays, I still have PTSD about Christmas season, need to stay home alone all of December. Sad.
A 50% divorce rate and that means hefty child support payments and a loss of your assets. Doesn't seem like very good odds. Not sure why anyone would even risk getting into that situation.
Great video! I definitely cringe whenever I hear people proclaim what people are supposed to do with their lives. Some people just want to feel in control of others and like they are doing it “right.”
And the marriage thing is the religious construct to control women, men's property, used to ensure women were pure to be married off to the highest bidder, the dowery. Hence the tradition now where the brides parents pay for the wedding. It's all a bunch of hooey. I'm have been in a committed relationship for 3 yrs. Don't need to marry Ever. We both don't want to. Doesn't change our feelings for each other. Married or not. ✌️
Judgemental people like to talk about freedom and liberty etc, but they usually mean only for themselves and people like them. For anyone who's different from them that talk suddenly goes out the window and they say something like "you should get married and have children". That is, people who are different don't have any freedom or liberty to live how they want to, but should conform to what judgemental people think is the right way to live.
To understand this you would have to examine who is calling you selfish. A parent who wants grandchildren? Some jerk on the internet? There’s usually a logical explanation for such a comment. And that motivation is going to be in the selfish interest of the person trying to shame you.
yeah it’s really fucking tedious lol choosing to not have a kid due to health and environmental reasons is one of the most selfless things you can do never pay attention to those kind of people, they’re insecure and projecting how they feel about themselves towards you
Well ; I disagree to some extent !!! My husband & I would love to have children of our own ; we are financially stable with very good solid careers & good jobs but Unfortunately due to medical conditions beyond our control even with IVF; have been unsuccessful 🥲🥲🥲. I look @ couples with children 👦 & really wish I could be in their shoes . We’re not jealous or envious; We just wish we could have a family of our own as well . So I wouldn’t say All Parents & Non parents feel sorry for each other ; May be just some !!! I know Parenting is very challenging but most loving couples eventually figure it out & raise able bodied & responsible children !!! I still hope we get that Opportunity God willing🙏🏿
He is the most inspiring person I have ever met, I listen to a lot of his stories. Those shares changed me a lot for the better when I heard those profound shares from him
Everybody have problems and miscommunications, its up to each individual to make an effort to maintain healthy relationships. If you do not do or can not do it, then he is right, you are an lazy, selfish, dilutional or immature. Good parents try to leave this world just a little better for their children and do not feel sorry for each other. Family unit is a core of our civilization and current narrative and people like you is what will destroy it. Fun fact, without families we as a species will cease to exist.
Ecclesiastes 4:2-3 GNT "I envy those who are dead and gone; they are better off than those who are still alive. But better off than either are those who have never been born, who have never seen the injustice that goes on in this world." Rock of Ages "Traditional wisdom is often long on tradition and short on wisdom." Warren Buffett, businessman investor "Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man" F. Nietzsche. "laughing lion" for the ages “It would be better if there were nothing. Since there is more pain than pleasure on earth, every satisfaction is only transitory, creating new desires and new distresses, and the agony of the devoured animal is always far greater than the pleasure of the devourer” ― Arthur Schopenhauer
@@qdpqbp so married ppl do not watch youtube SO YOU ARE HERE QZ YOU FEEL LONELY HAHAHAA POOR ONE GO TALK TO WALL MAYBE U GET FEELINF LESS LONLEY HHHHHHHHH
I was born to be a mother. My kids are my world. This has made me realise that too many people are having children who really don't have the maternal instincts and would rather be doing something else. Having children is only for those who truly want kids. There are too many unloved kids/people who have mental illness due to knowing they were not really loved and wanted. Just watch Soft White Underbelly to see what I mean.
I wasn't loved as a child. Beaten and mentally abused. Still struggling sometimes and I am 61. Don't get me wrong. I think kids are wonderful and probably they are sometimes not so wonderful. I always thought I might be horrible to my kids too and rather have none. I am glad I don't have kids. But I am very glad that children like me. I am very kind to kids.
Loving Mothers always seem to have the absolute purest reasoning and acceptance. I’m patiently waiting for humanity to allow loving mothers lead us to heal…again-thank you
Same, it felt like it was not my own decision, as a 47 year old male women just don’t feel attracted to me so I have been single and dateless my whole life. I’m also at the point now that I think it’s Best thing that happened to me.
@@koningkoe I'm a 44F and would happily date a man your age (45-50) is my preferred age range. All the men I find in this age range are either divorced with kids or still banging on about wanting them. 🙄. I really don't want kids!! You sound great! 😅
@@Kittygirl88851 I am great, people like my personality generally. the problem is that I have a partially deformed face that can't be corrected by surgery so that's the reason I wouldn't find any woman that wanted to give me a chance and I certaintly won't blame them. I fully understand why women ignore me I would probably do the same if I was a woman. Even though i'm deformed there some men out there that are deformed as well and they did find love, but I was not that fortunate sadly. I enjoy being alone but I someimes feel sad that skipped everything in life but i'm happy that i'm still alive.
I am a 50 year old woman who is happily not married . There isn’t one single married friend of mine, who doesn’t envy my life. I am successful, I am attractive. I have time to learn, read, grow , take care of my health and so many other things. I travel for a living and travel for leisure four times a year. I am truly happy. The common thing I hear from my married friends with kids is when their kids are grown they’re going to join me in my lifestyle. My own married sister is miserable with her kids and drowning in health issues that she’s not able to take care of because she’s working herself to death to take care of her house and kids while her deadbeat husband left her after 23 years of marriage. I respect the institution of marriage, but I knew from a very young age that it was not for me. Great video and thank you.
No need to put down people who chose to have children. Your personal anecdata proves nothing. I have 4 children who are grown, and am really happy in my life. I was never married, raised my kids into successful adults, own my own house and land, work and am healthy and fit. So my lifestyle is also great, and having 4 children did not prevent me from living it. Good luck to everyone who chooses the path that is right for them.
@@kidstuff44555 beautiful-happy for you . You wouldn’t know this, unless you’re a childless woman, but childless women are put down drastically in our society. This was the point of my story, and not to put you or anyone else with children down.
@@Busybeeee You're right. I wouldn't know your experience, only my own. I think women can't win if they care what society thinks. These days being a mother is often portrayed as a worthless or stupid decision too. Men are granted more leeway to be respected in their choices, but women are criticized whatever they do
Thank you for that Video. I'm Autistic (Aspergers) and can't endure contact with other People for too long. I tried, trust me. I got shamed for being on my own many times. They just don't understand that having a Family would break me mentally. I just don't want that.
@@Einzelgänger Thank you Mate. I'm just living a very humble and to most People boring life and that's all I want. Would not wish for anything else, the simple pleasures bring me the most joy in life.
Same here, single for life aspie, 39F, dog is my best friend, no family. I decided the buck stops here. No more passing the buck on all these chronic illnesses from trauma genes being flipped on so many generations now. Took medical retirement from big tech at 38.
As a sufferer of mental illness, I am in the camp of those who believe that having children is too much for us to handle. In my twenties, I was naïve and just assumed that I would one day find my soulmate and have children. But after countless rejections and going through a brief but terrible marriage, I experienced a mental breakdown and have never fully recovered. MDD and chronic anxiety prevents me from being "normal" - whatever that means. I don't have the luxury of ignorance. My existential crisis is profound. I'm not asking for sympathy, I'm trying to take it day by day and not let it my depression take my life. Hopefully some day science will find a cure for depression.
Have you tried sustained, regular exercise and wildly reducing processed foods? I deal with depression but these two things help me a ton; maybe they'll help you, too.
MDD is tough. Like a shadow that never leaves you, completely. I hope you have adequate coping skills. Exercise is a good one. Find a purpose to continue each day, no matter how difficult. Don't ever lose your purpose.
43 and so happy I never got married or had kids. I still live alone and wouldn't have it any other way. Nothing wrong with marriage and kids, but that lifestyle just isn't for me. I love my solitude. Being around people for too long stresses me out.
Exactly… so many couples start the most random and idiotic “fights” between eachother, about the most pointless of things. I swear, my parents also even in their 60’s will get into screaming matches about the dumbest and most pointless of things. They both instigate them with me also, whenever I come over. Which is why I stay away. I enjoy my peace and comfort of being alone. Something is just inherently wrong about this human society. Working in the ER at Kaiser Permanente for the last 15 years also just goes to show just how many useless, brainless and attention seeking (which they aren’t getting in their own lives) miserable people there are in our society.
Yeah, right there with ya. Give me my solitude. Went to a High School reunion. Every husband there was griping about the wife and the single ones were care free. Go figure.
@dennisdjy Yeah, my girlfriend knows I'll never marry her, have kids with her, or move in with her. She says she's cool with it, and she gives me the space I need so I have a good arrangement so far.
the idea is staying in competition alone until everyone dies off eventually one way or another and if that means compromising competition until your death we'll then be it.
Putting up with my mother telling us constantly for 16 years (before she left) that every problem in her life, and the reason she was so angry and miserable all the time, was because of 'you bloody kids!' put me and both my brothers right off the idea of being that miserable 🤷♂ Way to end your genetic line mum! 🤦♂
I know exactly what you mean. But I had children late in life, largely because my wife wouldn’t have it any other way. I have changed radically for the better. Yes it has been near-limitless stress, but the change was worth it all.
@@Elemblue2 That's a good point but I've got two motorbikes that need looking after now and I'd probably have to stop riding if I had kids coz I really suck at it 😂
@@LiminalLion Thanks for your reply. They’re adults now. One is severely autistic, and mentally at the level of a nonverbal 3 year old. It has been and continues to be gruelling right into my 70’s. But yes it has changed me for the better as a person.
Yeah...don't give me that "biological imperative" nonsense. The world is ON FIRE right now. No place for new life until WE are ready to put the fire out and I see ZERO evidence.
I'm 37 years old, married and just had a little girl 2 months ago. I'm really happy with my wife and life overall as we work like a team in every way of life. I never feel alone or without support because of her loyalty and love. Therefore I respect her as my equal and work hard for her to feel the same. However I truly understand people who don't want to get married. My older brother got married with the wrong person, they always fight, shame themselves, and have no respect for their relashionship. She has cheated him and for reasons I cant understand he accepted her back. I feel terrible for my brother a I truly believe he would have been happier staying single. So, I think that if you found the right person for you, absolutely is worth living in marriege. If not, dont force it just to satisfy society expectations. You can be happy whatever path you choose to follow. Just be true and honest with yourself
Being childfree is a life choice and is as valid as having kids. It has good things and bad things and you have to deal with the consecuences of both choices. As a childfree married woman, I feel as normal and happy as the next person 🤸♀️
I haven't found anything bad about being child free. I actually adopted out , my only born child. That is how much I never wanted to be a mom. 😏 I gave her everything I couldn't. Anyway I digress....I'm 53, most likely I'll be living with my girlfriends drinking wine and playing in the sun! Heck yes!!
I am almost seventy. As a child, I experienced abuse and poverty. I decided then that when I grew up I would enjoy life and remain free of family. I have never regretted it. I couldn't imagine me any other way. My long marriage ended with my husband leaving me in poverty so I do wish I had avoided marriage too. I am alone, most everyone has passed but I have my wonderful pets. I live in the woods. I am at peace. I was demonized by society for not wanting children. Society feels threatened by those of us who walk a different path. I love difference and diversity. Kindness is my religion. I don't fit in anyone's box. The road less traveled is always the most interesting one. Live and let live. I do have my opinions though and Jordan Peterson is someone to avoid!
I'm almost 60. Never married, though I had a partner for 28 years till he died. Some of it was really good, some really bad. I always knew I never wanted children and have only ever had one person question that. I don't feel demonised, that's possibly reflective of the wider society we live in. Peterstone can come out with some good stuff, but when he talks in absolutes as he does in that clip, it becomes a judgemental diatribe instead of a nuanced exploration of human nature
@@sy_dianne5224 He's making a blanket statement in a specific context that has been clipped for media soundbites. He's not making a moral judgement about all people, he's just talking about what makes people happy in general and what is good for society in general. He wouldn't have a problem with someone living a humble life of solitude if that's what makes them happy. He would, rightfully, I think, have a problem with someone trying to promote a lifestyle of single childlessness to those who would not benefit from it, while simultaneously feeling entitled to the fruits of a society that requires a steady supply of children (i.e, a next generation) to function.
Definitely walking an “unconventional path..” Always felt I was on the outside looking in on society! Thank you for sharing 🙏🏾😊 For all those souls out here battling themselves wondering why they are having the thoughts & feelings that do not match up with societal “conventions”...💞
We are building a new, sustainable society based on logic and reason instead of being brainwashed by what most see as tradition but is really just a program🎉👀🎯
I was surprised by that statement. Usually, the choice of not having kids is very difficult. It can come from trauma, but most of the time, it requires a very deep knowledge of yourself. When everyone goes one way, you need to know all the reasons why you're going in the opposite direction. That's definitely maturity, in my opinion.
Nah, not anymore than the people "going one way" need to know all the reasons they're going in that direction. You could flip a coin to make your decision
It has longer been viable to get married or raise a family in our current western society. I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in Morocco in the late '90s. Having grown up in NYC, it was strange to be suddenly living in a culture where the larger community behaves as if they have a stake in YOUR life. I was in a small town a few miles outside the provincial capital. My landlord's family expected to have me over for dinner once a week, as did my boss and several faculty colleagues at the local school I worked. If a married couple in our building was overheard arguing the previous day, the landlord and neighbors would visit, intervene, stick noses in, and offer suggestions/solutions. Everyone keeping tabs on each other, sometimes annoyingly, but basically to make sure nobody in the community is lonely, having issues or problems (not even me- the weird Foreigner!), if there's a problem, everyone chips in the solve it, to relieve the stress.. It was so strange to be living in a society or community that not only "talks" about supporting marriage, but "actively" supported it through actions. In America, let's be honest, we ACTIVELY sabotage marriage! Bored? Unfulfilled? Your spouse pissed you off today? DIVORCE NOW! I realized that I could ONLY get married if I were living in such a community, where the entire village has a stake your marriage succeeding. You cannot do it alone! Definitely NOT in New York City, where nobody gives an #&% about you or your wife, and YOU don't give an &%$ about your neighbors (until they're on the local 6pm News!!). A much older Peace Corps Volunteer in his 70s told me that once upon a time, what I was seeing in my Moroccan town, existed in the USA pre-WW1.
Yeah. Mr Peterson was unwittingly projecting when he called us “delusional”. IMHO delusional is to take a look at the state of marriage, knowing full well that the odds are against you, and still go through with it.
@@juniorjames7076 While there's a lot of truth to that, I think it's also important to point out that some marriages are innately bad and will never be fixed by the community's efforts to "help." So in these cases, the community can be toxic. It will sometimes force the continuation of a toxic marriage. This is dangerous and it destroys lives. There have always been plenty of miserable, unhappy marriages throughout history. (That was the case in USA pre-WW1 and I guarantee you that there were such couples in that Moroccan town.) The couple remained married because they had no choice. The community would not let them divorce. They had to wait until death did them part in silent misery. They would have children because they had no real choice. It was demanded by their families, by society and God. This is of course a major point that lowlife Jordan Peterson conveniently leaves out when peddling his propaganda. Also, our ancestors had little in the way of birth control, which is the second BIG elephant in the room that Jordan Peterson does not like to address, either. "Were your ancestors wrong to have children?" The moron acts like people had a choice.
As a therapist who has extensive experience working in child protection and with victims of domestic violence, I applaud those who know themselves well enough to make a conscious choice and the courage and intelligence not to cave in to social pressure.
Courage and intelligence... not to help renewing their country's population. Quite negative, despite said people judging themselves not to be parent-material.
it's not about that. it's an issue of demographic. the least productive and stable people are breeding the most. the most intelligent and rational people are not. the current ecology is also not conducive to growth and reproduction. the empire must downsize and a lot of people have to displace or disappear by other means for there to be a renewed period of rising birthrate. in other words, there are no good environments left for intelligent people to begin families. the left saw to that.
@Briselance so you would like children to have parents who aren’t fully invested in them because they only did it to “keep the population up” and for the children to have multiple issues because of it?
@@Briselance This planet already has what, about 9 billion people now? Are you saying there aren't enough people already? India is half the size of the U.S. and yet felt the need to inflate its population to a full billion more than that of the U.S.! What have the rewards been? - no improvement in the country's standard of living - a million people per year dying of air pollution - 5-6 figures of people per year dying of snakebite - mass emigration to other countries Other wonderful Third World economic write-offs include Bangladesh (half the population of the U.S., but twice the size of Iowa), Philippines, Nigeria, Indonesia, etc.
I agree with this. Many people who have kids live miserable, unhappy lives and raise terrible children who grow to be terrible adults and continue the cycle while some people who never reproduce live amazing lives and contribute to society. See Sir Isaac newton, Beethoven, George Washington, Michelangelo, Nikola Tesla, etc. If having kids was so great and beneficial, modern society would be wonderful with no crime or human misery.
@@Szklana147 But stats and studies show is accurate. Liking an opinion isn’t needed to make it accurate. Also to not to say all parents feel this way or kids but with billions in our world living in poverty w/lack of proper shelter, food, a safety and one’s who aren’t most struggle in a life time debt cycle to provide these things plus whatever society says you should. It’s not a stretch to believe the comment. Let’s not forget the millions of children neglected, abused, or trafficked and older ones on the street to avoid foster care or abusive home lives. Where do you think too many end up? There’s also epidemic levels (and rising) of depression, addiction etc. Our world isn’t easy for most parents and sadly too many children.
Just look at the majority of the so-called "politicians" (aka thugs and criminals in fancy suits) - they are the living proof how parenting can lead to a moral and existential cul-de-sac. These are supposed to be our 'leaders', Jesus Christ. And why should be somebody "led" by someone else who is as stupid and moronistic as the sheep itself? My God.
Difference is, people like Isaac newton, Beethoven, George Washington, Michelangelo, Nikola Tesla had made useful inventions, broadened the human psyche with new insights, created extremely powerful music or profound art that added a beauty to society that's unparalleled. They had fruitful careers that gave to society other than offspring, and I'm sure they'd be less productive if they did have kids(on the other hand if those kids inherited their gifted minds the kids could have multiplied their achievements especially given their head start with a parents). However, most people in modern society don't have careers, they have jobs and can be replaced with the next poor schmuck with minimal training, only to be discarded as waste as soon as their productivity drops in old age. And then you still have a good 20-30 years to go....
@@jmc8076 In the past 50 years 90% of the kids born in this world were born in (abject) poverty, the question of whether to have kids is only a thing in wealthy, developed nations. The question of whether to have kids is hardly asked by people in poverty or hardship, they just do because they need them kids to take care of them or when they're too old to plough the land.
Haha. Yeah I can give 2 shits about continuing my bloodline. Why would I bring the burden of life on anybody after my disdain for it. I'll die happy knowing I didn't reproduce. I don't care if its a dealbreaker in a relationship.
Great video. Another thing I really hate is when I tell people that I don't want to get married or have children, I get the response, "You don't know that for sure. Maybe you haven't met the right person." I've even had people double down when I've repeated it and said, "No, I really don't want those things." It's almost as if it blows their minds that a person could never want that, or that the person must be unhappy.
They are simply projecting their anxiety on you, by gaslighting you. The hard part in life is to figure things out on your own. Finding out by trail and error what your « core values» are. But when you do, you gain real confidence. And autentisity.
All I know is that I have six brothers who all have kids and are broke and unhappy. I chose not to have kids. I have a high six figure income, I have traveled the world and now at 57 I am very happy with my life. If that is immature, I will take it. Thank you for this video.
Are you saying your brothers are all broke and unhappy because they have children? I am single with no children, but my five siblings all have children. Only one is broke, but they are all relatively happy. Life and attitude is what you make of it.
I'm right there in the same boat. And +1 for Route 66, I grew up along that in one of the small towns 😁 I have lived in Italy and Liberia, Africa and have seen and experienced so many amazing things. Also made friends around the world and helped some of them attend and graduate from college. We've truly done well, brother!
As long as your path makes you happy and you are doing no harm to others along the way, I see no problem with whatever path you are on. The key seems to be to make sure you enjoy the ride and not spend your life looking at greener grass.
Absolutely, and to have enough self-awareness to know what you want. Sometimes people don't and end up with kids they don't want, or leave it too late and miss put on kids. Either is sad.
Daaaaamn this is SPOT on. Congratulations man… You won the internet. You peeled the ridiculous remark by mr Jordan back like an onion and transformed that sh** into a magnificent lesson… The xenophobic reaction people tend to have is sooo toxic. You illustrated this beautifully… Amazing. I cannot find the words to express my gratitude that you took the time to make this video. It should be mandatory course material around the globe. I’m serious. You hit every friggin nail on this topic and every argument you make is factually right. I’m dumbfounded… You rule man, you friggin rule. Please continue your ways and never stop… The world is a becoming a better place thanks to minds like you 🙏
@@clairelane3642 In the future, the population will decline NOT expand. It's already happening where I live and in many other countries. This is due to many people choosing not to have children as well as a decrease in fertility and an inability to have children. There will be many problems in societies when there is a critical decline.
@@kristinab1078you're just regurgitating what you've heard others say. The world has always had 'problems' and will continue to. The only 'problem' those people you listen to mean, is the 'economy'. The system needs a never ending supply of cattle, to use to fuel the economy, so it can thrive. That's why they don't actually solve issues like poverty, hunger, war, slavery and terrorism (that the orchestrate). Quit the hive mind thinking, and start analyzing from your own POV. Do the thinkinf for yourself, be critical of everything, or you'll be lead off a cliff one day, with the rest of the sheeple (metaphorically).
Jordan Peterson’s daughter got pregnant without being married. 🙄 He should preach to his daughter. He and Dave Ramsey is what you call p whipped. Their wives run the show.
It took me until I was 45 to realize that I am happier alone (as in not co-habitating, not necessarily completely isolated and never see another human). I like people, but in small doses. I like seeing people in public, at Starbucks or restaurants I eat at, or at the bus stop. And when I've had enough, I want to go home to my cat and everyone else to fuck off. And I don't want a 'permanent' romantic relationship either. Daliances and flings are perfect. Fall in "love", have fun for a bit, and then move on and do it again. I'm even more ok with monogamy than I am with co-habitation. In theory, I could see myself in an 'exclusive' relationship, as long as that person lived on their own like I do. Come over for dinner, get laid, go home! I wish I had known this about myself when I was 18. I wasted my whole life and went through an enormous amount of trauma and heartbreak until I figured this out.
Omg, you just described me to the T! I used to think I was the only one who thought like this. I'm in my 30s, never had a girlfriend, had several flings and prefer the company of people in small doses, just like you. My mother pressures me to get married now and then but I ignore her. If the time is right I might consider marriage but never out of haste!
I relate to this so much. Although i never had any flings, I never got to cohabitation either. It was just me going to her place or her coming to my place and then getting my own time and that was the perfect end-stage for a relationship to me. Never wanted to move it past that point. I could've been monogamous for life that way, but of course women's instincts are wholly incompatible with that idea.
@pandoraeeris7860 I agree with your comment! I'm a female in my mid 50s and have had several years-long relationships, and have been engaged twice. But I knew in my heart that despite loving both guys (different years, not the same time period,😁), I would not be married or have kids. I have very close friends, who are totally miserable alone. I try to show the positive side, but they feel the societal pressure, even though they are not at an age when they could still bear children. I get much more collectively from all the short interactions at cafes, stores, the dog park,etc. without having the weight of a relationship. I currently have a guy who's 15 years older who is trying hard to get me to date... But I am not interested. Funnily enough, a year ago, I was spending fun times with a guy who is 20 years less than I am... So I tend to like younger guys (yeah, creepy) 😆 but in small time increments.
I definitely prefer going against the grain and paving my own path to be my unapologetic self. It took 43 years to gain the confidence to live on my own terms, but it's absolutely liberating. My intuition is what I listen to rather than any social programming. Thank you for sharing your profound perspectives!
I agree, especially with being your own unapologetic self. People like to shame us and try to make us believe we should be "ashamed" of who we are, or be ashamed of mistakes, of standing out from everyone else. Can definitely say I firmly disagree with that. I don't apologize to anyone for who I am, or about honest mistakes I've made. I don't care if the majority disagree with me. I think people can tell that we don't go along with the program, and they can be really put off by that sometimes. They're so used to being sheep that go along with what you're "supposed" to go along with. But I'm a firm believer in independent/individual thought and standing up for what's right when needed.
Excellent comment, for those of us who forge their own way! I don't ask anyone to follow me, we can have our own ways, most of the criticism comes from those who chain themselves! I crawled, out of the cave of ignorance a long time ago, we still have the freedom to do so.
As a 40 year old man thats single and childless; I get alot of pressure from my father to have a family. He doesnt understand that times are different, times are tough, and for me personally, I feel like having a family and raising children seems too stressful and financially draining.
Ironaically, those who are more responsible and cautious don't have kids, while the crappy people tend to have kids nowadays. Of course, it doesn't help that the government steals from those who are productive to support those who are not making it more financial difficult for more responsible people to have a family
At your age it's not worth the risk. Divorce is always a possibility and trying to rebuild your life at say 50-54 would be a huge undertaking. Also at your age and likely your spouse the chances of having a special needs child is greatly increased. I have three kids with my wife and my middle child is non verbal autistic. The mentality of a toddler perpetually. She has a family history of bi polar, schizophrenia and other things. I work away from home for extended periods of time otherwise we would already be divorced. In all likelihood we still will be as it has become undeniable that she cannot get along with anyone for long no matter whom it is. As the great Robin Williams put it. Being alone is not the worst thing In the world, being in a relationship with someone and yet still feeling alone is
High divorce rates and you lose most of what you've worked for, hefty child support payments. Stay single and wake up every morning smiling and thankful for your freedom.
I had two alcoholic parents that beat me bloody daily, for no reason, just because I was alive. It took me into my 30's before I could socialize with peers, and the scars of the abuse are life-long. It shaped my character, and I am nothing like my parents - but I chose a childless life and have very few friends. I am absolutely not lonely, this is my way of life. I chose to be a firefighter, medic and cop, and in this way cared for others. Don't let society dictate your path of life.
I had a similar upbringing and totally understand. 💜
You are an inspiration
While I empathize with your past experiences, the problem with your statement is that you could have choosen to opt out of living at any point in time during your life, but you chose not to. Why? Because no matter what you've gone through, deep down you know that to be alive is better than to not be alive. Not bringing children into this world is your choice, but please don't paint it as some selfless act.
@@oriehi_raphael_paul
I would say that most men crave for the dream of having a beautiful family of their own but the risk is immensely against the modern men.
I'm glad that some have found someone to raise children's to this world and wish them the best.
This was very touching, I had the same domestic abuse upbringing, tried ending my life when I was 12, my brother saved me. The way this world is i am not interested to bring children into this world, I love my own company now days and wouldnt have it any other way.
I escaped a life of poverty by avoiding heard mentality. I didn't have a single role model to guide me but I had an abundance of bad examples. A blessing in disguise, I imagine.
Same here, no role models but a lot of bad examples to NOT follow...
EXACTLY...i remember when i was 7. To think about poverty and how i would not live that life. I just did the opposite of what everyone in the hell hole i grown up did.
I heard it is spelled HERD mentality
Absolutely - anti-role models can be just as helpful as real role models. Looking at someone and saying, "I don't want to end up like that" can be powerful.
My father AND mother 🙄
I am 48, never married, and childless. I catch myself feeling like I'm weird, have failed at something everybody else does, and not living up to something. But I never wanted, nor even liked, children. And I find it very questionable to rely on another person for fulfilment, completeness, and a sense of security. My parents seperated after 37 years, when I was already 34. So, that did enhance my feeling that in the end, there is no such thing as ultimate trust in someone else. Humans are mood-driven fleshy robots, totally unpredictable. Self-reliance and feeling complete on your own are absolutely essential.
Exactly. Life is short so just do what makes you happy.
Until you have to be accountable in your life review and come back when you fail to achieve your life purpose. No pressure lol.@@Lone_Star86 Read up on NDEs and your YOLO will shrivel up fast
Dude, you've got this thing figured out. That last line about self-reliance is key, whether or not you enter into a relationship and/or have kids.
I'm 53 and never had kids but several of my ex-girlfriends had kids shortly after we broke up (usually one year later). 1) I read that studies show that our DNA finds its way into kids that aren't technically ours, not sure that's true. 2) I helped these girls in their lives so there are more kids on Earth thanks to my being here. While it's not my DNA per se, I still helped the community. Some of us are better off being free and helping 100 people than being tied to helping 1 other person. Also, the financial risk of ruin for a man these days is a huge factor. I don't regret not having an ex wife.
It's okay for men to not have kids (2/3 of men who ever lived did not) because they pay NET taxes. It's not so much okay for women to not have kids (1/3 of women who ever lived did not) because they are on the receiving end. But that would self correct when men could choose which 1/3 of women not to reproduce. But now we have the welfare state paying her rent, social media telling her she's hot and Tinder hooking her up with an occasional Chad with Bad taste. When you subsidize something, you get more of it. We got more fugly women (who now want to see themselves represented on TV).
I'm 72, never married, have no children, and just a few important friends. I spend lots of time in solitude in my small home. I have no pressing needs or responsibilities, no worrying debt, and plenty of time to think. For me, a life of observance and contemplation is very important. Making a family and doing great things that may improve humanity is a wonderful way to create a lasting legacy, but I much prefer to sit this one out.
Wat yu do to work
I'm happy for your child free-life.
❤
Same here brother!!!
You are a free soul! Enjoy your peaceful life sir.
Along my life, over 60 now, I never fitted in. Never felt belonging to a group or another, never liked what most people of my age liked. I thought there was something wrong about me. I had my own world and was happy being in it. This video shad a light in this life and made me feel normal for the first time. So happy reading others accounts showing that there are more people out there feeling the same way.
Thank you so much for showing this vision where we can feel that in the end we belong to a group in its own way!
always remember you are not alone in feeling completely fine being alone. be proud of your independence. stay strong brother
Here's a 61 🇮🇹 ✌
I've been feeling a lot of this, especially since my wife left.
Same here. 64 and I never fitted in society. Only recently detected that I was a 'system buster' spiritually speaking it was never the goal to fit in, on the contrary!
I confirmed to my parents and society's expectations, and lived a LIE. It is very arrogant of Jordan Peterson to make statements like that.
I did everything society told me to do, my life was miserable. I don't care anymore what society says, I think for myself, what I want, what's good for me, what makes me happy. I'm here to be myself, not someone else.
Good for you. And you know, there’s a saying that I really love: opinions are like a-holes, everybody has one. 😅 So you do you !
Why do what society wants you to do in the first place if it's not what you want? I am the one that wants kids, not the society. It IS a natural imperative, without it I wouldn't be here.
You just inspired me to pursue porn
What did society tell you? not to have kids? or to be a boss bitch? (assuming you're a woman). Society is just a standard it doesn't mean you MUST go with it ...rather adapt I would say
@@Leonhart_93 who says you are better because you are here! Many are the times I wish I never were!
You want to get married, settle down and have kids? That's great! You want to stay single, focus on yourself and your passions/hobbies? That's great too! I don't understand why some people get offended at the idea of the latter, as if we're somehow cheating at life by not doing the former.
This is exactly right. To each his own. Why the conservative right wing media feels the need to turn this into a culture war pissses me off.
I think those who judge are likely unhappy with their own lives and decisions. If someone is truly content with their own decisions they don’t feel the need to judge the lives of others..This applies to both people with and without children
Whatever you want to do is accepted in a hyper modern and individualistic society maybe but in collective or even somewhat traditional societies and historically it was stigmatized when you stayed single and don't start a family and sometimes even now it's considered schizoid behavior
@@questioneverything1224that's true sometimes and other times people judge when you don't go with the norm or you don't do what everyone else in the family did it's not always because they're miserable or think they made the wrong choice
Because you are not holding up the society you rely on. You are not paying your side of the bargain. I have all the stress, cost and effort to create, soldiers, nurses, engineers, surgeons, Doctors, teachers, builders, farmers the list goes on and on. You have not paid your fair share but expect to still reap the benefits. It's not about feelings it's about duty-free
If you're born to fit the mold, you'll never break it.
If you're born to break the mold, you'll never fit it.
great saying - i'll remember it cause i was born to break it trying to fit in
You never can leave your own footsteps, if you always follow the footsteps of others.
I'm the latter
Amen.
I'm stealing it.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. Marriage isn't for everyone. Marriage is a wonderful institution invented so that two people could solve problems together they would never have had, had they remained single. Being single is an opportunity to live life on your own terms. A single life, not married with no children, has the ability to maneuver in life, with minimal constraints, that is the true power. Men are not worried about dying alone. Men are worried about living miserably. I'd rather live dangerously free than peacefully enslaved.
Why though? Why would u rather live dangerously free?
It seems like you don't think of marriage as a partnership,
2 people who love each other and want to navigate life together, and h ave a family that brings untold joy.
You will be very lonely someday.
@@janettemasiello5560 Yeah it's possible that he'll be very lonely one day, maybe he's already lonely, maybe he just said that cause he wants to convince himself that he'll be fine alone, or maybe he's really just happy to be alone.. we can't really tell.. but I hope he'll tell us why it's better to live dangerously free than peacefully enslaved....
@@janettemasiello5560 You can be married and lonely, not every marriage works out
@@mengmeng243you prefer to live enslaved?
I am 67 years old. I never wanted to be married or have children. The idea of all of it was really unappealing to me. I have no regrets. In fact, I couldn’t figure out why people even wanted to do it. I actually always preferred animals to people, so I’ve always had a bunch of them. Even when I was part of a family growing up I didn’t like it. And personally, I don’t think my parents should have ever had kids because they were terrible at being parents. And I agree with you, when people choose to have kids, the kids don’t have a say in it. If they did, many would say no thanks. Being alive isn’t easy.
there is an existence after this one sir, i am Hindu from India and human birth is mostly suffering, please do read The Bhagavad Gita As It Is by Bhaktivedanta Prabhupada ji, all humans are unique, there are two ways of living life, materialistic or spiritual, this modern existence, you cannot be 100% spiritual/religious,one should have balance, there are realms of existence besides this earth, and how one lives his life determines where we go after this, to be born again as a human on earth, is for me the worst thing possible, Hare Krishna
@@शिवा1008 if given the choice to exist or not to exist on this planet I would have chose NOT to.
@@bodhixxx1 same, i used to think it was a cosmic mistake, still do, but have my aged folks at home so gotta keep going at least for their sake, im their only child, and they have been very very good parents
Same here. I have had a strong opinion against having children since I was 5. Now I am 47 and think exactly the same, but I can relate to you regarding your parents. My parents neglected me emotionally and I think that’s the reason why I never wanted children, because I never felt truly loved so I didn’t want to reproduce that pattern. Even if I am still for being childless for many reasons, I also think that it’s not that normal to have a strong opinion on that issue being just a little child.
@@elsaaforges my reasons for staying single are a bit different, in India where im from, most are arranged marriages, based on community, wealth, status, etc i have also been unlucky in my affections for the opposite sex, also i think i have unrealistic standards, marriages today are mostly like a business transaction, sure you might fall in love after the marriage, have kids etc but nah, id rather be alone. i cant live a life of pretention, i cant marry for the sake of getting married. its too hard. nope, wont do it
Steve Jobs nailed it when he said,
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. "
He was also a big a hole
Jobs was very egoistic. He denied fathership of his daughter Lisa. Not a guy of high moral and certainly not an idol.
True, but as Lady Gaga once said,
"Ra ra ooh la la"
@@Siddartha1980nobody cares about your personality when your arguement is valid like the case here.
The man was a knobhead. His staff wasted their life working for him and making him rich.
Most of the people I know who have chosen not to have children are the most thoughtful, intelligent people I know. Peterson doesn't know whry he is talking about.
That's been my experience to 😊
yeah i am shocked to hear him say such stupidity. Probably has some childhood trauma still.
My father had 10 children. From the 9 remaining, as one of my half-siblings passed away, only 3 of us were willing to take care of him during his last months. The rest of them didn't even want to have him at their homes. Having children and being a good parent is no guarantee that you will be taken care of when you're old.
There is no way children will love their parents less than they deserve. I am sure your father was awful as a parent
Most people are spoiled today. You sound spoiled and entitled. It's not good to pamper your children as they will turn out thankless. Another thing is mother's whom used the father and lie on him. Generally men are not appreciated by society.@@Мага_Крутой
@@Мага_Крутой please don't speak disrespectfully of somebody you don't know. He was a good man, a good father and always worked hard to provide for all of us. Sadly, some people are just ungrateful.
@@LouiseAttaque888 Sounds like a raging narcissist
@@LouiseAttaque888 People are quick to judge, i'm sorry. Not everyone knew gratitude, that is reality.
When I was 9 years old, I told my mama that I would never get married or have children. I remember her saying that I might change my mind, but it was my life to choose what I wanted to do or not. I'm 67 years old, not married, and have no children; I am very happy with my life and don't feel like I have missed a thing.
I knew it at 14
I came to the same realization around 11 or 12. Everyone scoffed at me and told me I would change my mind. I am 43 now. I never changed my mind.
Are you a proponent of Anti-natalism by any chance?
Bro im glad I changed my mind of not getting married I ain't living a miserable life like my parents!
Same here chlofene!!
I never married, I don't have kids. I think generally people that choose this route are not valued by society. However I know why I made the decisions I made and I stand by them. I have my reasons and I don't have to explain them to anybody. You're allowed to be you.
Didn’t have a kid until late, best decision, I shouldn’t have waited so long. Being a parent is the most challenging thing in life...spending money carelessly does however follow the majority in the West.
I mentally ill and don't want kids that I can't do a good job taking care of. I think that I am making a mature decision.
Dude nobody said you have to have kids. My uncle is 62 and never had kids or get married and he’s happy. But if you want kids and want to get married then you can if you want if that’s what makes you happy. Just do what makes you happy
Username checks out 😂 Remember, you can’t be a mother to your pets as a substitute for children.
@@alwaysright3943 Why not, because you say so ?
I quit dating apps and my life has never been much peaceful than now.
I never went onto the apps. Met women in person. There isn't a difference. I do feel like a badass solo renegade now. Having fun my way with my time. It's great.
Same.
Prostitution apps
I just stop giviing a fuck honestly after hooking up with a chick. I felt very empty after it was over and knew something was wrong.
No kidding. Same here. Now the idea of even try again DISGUSTS ME.
Everyone reading this, let me just say:
Don’t let online strangers or family or friends determine if you should want kids or not. If you do, PLEASE make sure you are in a good financial, mental, physical, and emotional state to do so (and with a equally agreeable partner). If you don’t, then create some short and long-term goals since you’ll have a pretty large free-time margin down the line. Keep walking in truth and in love ❤
I refuse to put up with the insanity of the modern w-om-an and the madness of our broken dating and mating systems, not to mention the merciless, anti-male divorce court industry.
I also refuse to continue to regard my gen-it-als as mere toys. They are for making another human being, not playing around with.
Therefore, I have resolved to become celibate. All unused s-exu-al energy will be converted into creativity.
You are an online stranger telling people how they should live. What an irony.
@@_sneer_ :-D 🫶🏾
@@_sneer_ No he/she isnt. They're saying that its your own choice and you should think for yourself.
And lots of people who have kids aren't in these good physical and mental states
I'm in my 30s. I'm single, I have no kids and I'm happy. All the money I make is spent on myself and all my free time is spent on doing things that I like doing. Call me immature, call me selfish, say that I'm wrong. In my humble opinion, the ones who are deluding themselves are those who think that the universe gives a crap about whatever they choose to do.
Exactly it shouldn't matter if someone wants to start a family or not. I'm not a parent by any means but one quote that sticks to the back of my head is:
"Every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child"
Good on you I went with the heard got married when I didn't want to so I could fit in ended up in a divorce marriage just doesn't feel right to me I felt very trapped. Maybe with the perfectly compatible person it does I have my little girl out of it but I just don't think I was built for it.
@@daryl9799Thank you for your honesty. I wish you the best ❤
That's great. 🎉When men force things they don't just make themselves unhappy, they also make the women or partners unhappy as well. I hope you continue to do what you know makes you happy whether that changes or stays the same.
Happy people tell people online that they are happy usually lol
I never wanted to have children or to get married. I'm 58 now and still feel this way.
Did i miss out on something ? Maybe, but i really cannot see what that would have been.
I DO know from a very early age that i am a loner, and those around me keep reminding me of this fact, by always attacking it, proving i understand myself a lot better than they could ever do.
I’m 54, and enjoy it even more as I see my friends having to support grown children, raise their grandchildren, and have no money or freedom! Too much drama for me.
Societal standards. The big hive mind, group think syndrome.
I'm 33 years old, I don't have kids, I don't want to have kids. For most of my life I feel like I've already failed at living for myself, I've been somewhat been overwhelmed over the opinions of others before people even gave me a real deal of expressing myself, people like racist, people of great authority, crazy alcoholics and self centred people.
I'm more of a loner anyways because most people I've been in contact with hardly have enough in common with me nor interests with me. I don't want to be overwhelmed again by politics and the ridiculous point of views of others whom share an overload of their passion.
They are Jealous and Only Want You in the SAME CHAINS They ARE IN. TOO BAD, Them. Not Happening. Sorry You WERE SO GUILIBLE
@MadaraUchiha-ly8wr
You're doing FINE, My Friend. DO NOT CHANGE ONE IOTA
Lets face it guys. Not everyone should have kids. Its usually the broken families that have the most kids
One of the reasons why the world is such an f'd up place, these kinds of people spreading their seeds all over the place.
You ever seen idiocracy? Lol. Perfect example.
yeah, most people should not have kids?
yeah, the imbeciles
❤ agreed, thanks 🙏
Recently I caught up with an old boyfriend, we dated in our late 20s, I am 50 now. He was a bit worried for me, since I never got married, nor have kids. I thanked him for his concern and I wasn’t offended in the least. That’s when I knew I was truly comfortable with the choices I’ve made.
Most women regret not having kids.
Most men don't care one way or the other.
That makes sense given that women have the kids financed by someone else and men have to finance the kids.
poor old lady.... i feel bad for you. God loves you
@@stoicsanjin poor fearful man.. i feel bad for you. i hope one day you can win over your fear of being different
You are living your life the way you decide, be proud of it! Cheers!
@@stoicsanjinlol bro triggered by women having a choice
I would say to Jordan P: I would have had a kid if I had found a woman who I loved, and who I believed would be a good parent to my child, while also being myself, psychologically, emotionally, and financially prepared to have a kid. We all need to find our own paths in life, and not force ourselves into marriage and creating a child because "we're supposed to." Having a child in such a way is the very definition of selfishness. The last thing this world needs is more people born into unhealthy and loveless situations.
I'd bet that most aren't planned pregnancies.
Well said
Very well said.
Same. I'm not against having children. I know I would love my child. But how am I supposed to think about children when I haven't even met the right mother for them? My previous serious relationships have ended badly. If I had had children with those women, it would have been a nightmare. I'd be in debt or just plain broke.
Totally agree.
I think a lot of times people that follow society's norms and conventions are scared by those that don't. If someone has gotten married, bought a house, and has children, they are extremely invested into that lifestyle. Being confronted with someone happily living an alternative lifestyle might evoke feelings of doubt. They might have never considered doing things differently, or according to their own ideas. And that feeling of: "Wait, I could have chosen? I could have decided for myself what I wanted to do with my life?" can be pretty intense. Also, making life choices (like having children) that you can't go back on kind of force you into making yourself believe it was the right choice. And that also works both ways of course.
Scared? We pity thee, we won't be the ones dying alone depending on strangers for everything, how strong's that copium you're on, Mr. Disfunctional?
@@dannymoneywell Have you even seen the video? Einzelgänger stated that having kids is not a guarantee that they will provide for you when you're old. Your kids might simply not bother with you or, as it has unfortunately happened, die before that can happen.
This is why I decide to just do whatever tf I want and if others dont like me, then that's on them. Not me. I have zero expectations for people to like me, and I will not be a slave to others anymore. If they hate me, I am okay with it because I know that their hate comes from a one-sided perspective. No one will ever know the true me. So why should I listen to someone who only knows a small piece of me. I know who I am and no one will ever guilt trip me into thinking otherwise.
@@dannymoneywelllol I barely speak to my abusive mother so if that was her plan in having me... oh well tough luck for her
@@dannymoneywell do you know the date, time and circumstances of your death? You can't . So how do you know you won't die alone?
My grandmother had 4 children 9 grandchildren and a loving husband, she was alone in her home when she died.
Even if your children live close to you, their lives are more important to them than your life, especially if they have jobs and kids of their own.
I haven't spoken to my brother in 29 years, do you know you won't fall out with your kids because of their choices or your refusal to change? You can't.
You can't know your future so you can't predict it. If you outlive your spouse, and your kids aren't physically or emotionally close to you, you're going to depend upon strangers for everything, the very things you claim causes you pity for those who you think will experience those things.
You have no control over your life or your death, you can only live it and hope you don't suffer the things you appear to fear.
People who stay single don't delude themselves about the possibility of how they will spend their final years, but they aren't prepared to sacrifice their single existence because of it.
So with that in mind, I see your position a coping mechanism. You fear the future you highlight, and can't cope with that possibility.
If you're married and have children, did you do so for genuine reasons or did you cross your fingers and hope those actions would reduce the likelihood of experiencing the things you've afraid of?
I am a 32 year old father to a three year old. Life is much much harder ever since having a kid. It's unecessary hard.. If you want to have children and live like this fine, if not, that's fine too. There are enough humans on this earth... we are not facing an extinction problem
Growing old and not having anybody to help or take care of you would be even more problematic!
@@celpabedn how many people choose not to take care of their parents ?
A lot are in nursing homes. Not to mention how many people have bad relationships with their parents where they wouldn't even consider taking care of them?
I think its stupid to assume you get a caregiver when you have kids. Check out vivarium movie (2019) with Jesse Eisenberg. Pretty eye opening.
Happily married 35 years. We never wanted kids. 66 and 75 now, no regrets. People have to find their own path in life.
@@ivanvukasovic1371what could anyone say in response to this, except... Why do you care? And also, what is it you personally think children owe to their parents?
@@ivanvukasovic1371it's your life, not your parents'
@ivanvukasovic1371 i will be honest to you: if you knew what you wanted, you d be so sure, even your parents couldnt stop you from being you- aka: you wouldnt really give a fuck. 'there is a possibility' is not equal with ' the two of us are fine with that' .
The reason why you give 1 fuck, is bcs this opinion talks For you. You want children. Your partner doesnt.
this is how i want it to be
Your kids would have stuck you in nursing home and abandoned you anyway. Good job.
Those who pressure others to do as they did, getting married, having kids, just want you to validate their own life decisions. That serves to reaffirm that they made the right choice.
That is incredibly selfish of them. I bet those people only pretend to care about your best interests.
Very intelligent comment. And accurate👍🏻✌🏻
JP is a government plant there to lead and control the opposition since there are a lot of sexless single angry men out there talking in groups on the net, sharing information. To those in power, this is scary, as it should be. The fabric of society is unraveling, and men are checking out. Historically, the majority of men never passed on their genes. They died one way or another or were sexually selected against. So he is also wrong about the facts. Government and corporations need manpower tho and there is a severe demographic decline going on that is global in scale. As for me I'm going my own way.
Absolutely true ! And jealousy I would say too. Of course in a good world it would be different.
I had that. Decades ago I moved from poverty farm land USA and went to the sunbelt. I prospered. At one point one of my farm land family said 'when will you come back here and suffer like the rest of us?'
Never did that....
A child is a human being. One should not have children if they cannot care for and provide for the children. Also children need time and dedication from the parents that brought them into this world.
Common fucking sense which most people don't have
Wishful thinking🤦♂️
Cowardly thinking. There is never a perfect time for a child. Can you say all your life choices are perfect? Should you not make any choices in life if they aren't well thought out and guaranteed to bring a successful outcome ?
@@vlid0I think the meaning is more about people that are in poverty already and then add a child to the mix?
@@Sci-lives
Or multiple children as so often seems to be the case with those who are least able to provide for them.
I'm 58, single, never married, no children. Always had to deal with people judging me. Once I went to a counselor and he gave me a children's book called Ferdinand the bull. It actually really helped. Now I don't care what people think of me. All I know is I'm not lonely and I absolutely love my life and it is very full and enriching.
An impact on my perception of having kids, is when my father told me that his father (my grandfather I never really knew) despised his children. The assumption of parents loving their children is naïve.
Of course
so true, kids stay babies only for a short time, having a parent like that is something like a curse but Karma has a plan for us all,
it's not, and that makes no sense. Loving children is imperative. If you don't, you're disrespecting your ancestors as well as your predecessors. Your grandfather was a failure and naive, not those who love.
@@ProtoIndoEuropean88 all people are not the same, who knows what that old man went through in his life, maybe he loved another but married the grandmother, and was sad throughout his life, maybe he had a drinking problem, everyone is different, there are childless people who are good with kids and parents who abuse their kids, the world is a strange place
@@शिवा1008
Then the problem is simply toxic people, not having kids nor making a family! The problem lies in how our society is being run by these politicians.
Sometimes the hardest to deal with is the judgement and opinions of those around you. Knowing your family, coworkers and friends consider you as a weirdo or incapable or broken in some way. And to explain all this goes way above the head of the normal culturally integrated human.
What can we do if usually if not every single time this kind of speech and ideas are the product of weird incels who couldn't get laid if their lives depended on it so they say they don't need these things to make them feel better about their own disfunctional emotional and social interactions and the empty shells they call their lives? Not gonna paint the white sheep black just to appease you.
F them
As much as it can hurt, you will always be an anomaly to someone who just can't or doesn't want to acknowledge your way of living as valid, and the way they go about it can range from a minor inconvenience to the most depraved shit ever. It's why speaking your mind and standing up for your own good is so important, or else they'll use every chance they get to steamroll over you
@@ItsaDonut you are right, and its really not a big problem for me. Its more like, how others perceive me, its a part of my psyche still. Having a nice car, wearing nice clothes, having a nice house, its nice to think people perceive you as successful, that you made it. Having normal relationships with children is also part of that "success" just because society decided it should be, no amount of philosophy from our individuality can change society.
Since we cannot change society, we can only change ourselves, we have to accept this and accept that for that part of our lives many people will consider us failures. Even if people love us deeply and respect us, due to their conditioning, at times they will feel pity for us, think we are broken, they cannot help it. This can be hard at times, and my younger self struggled with this a lot.
Its just slightly sad to consider this, I don't really mean anything by it either, and its not something that needs fixing, just thinking out loud here i guess. Thanks for your support and reply.
Actually I often had people telling me they envy my lifestyle because I am able to manage and do things alone, something that has been taken from them or because they are too afraid to do things alone.
I knew at a very young age that I wanted a peaceful single life. I grew up with tons of drama and disfunction within my own family which led to lots of blaming and narcissism. Id rather live the quiet life than live a life someone else wanted for me and hate it. I saw that go bad in my family as well. Never do something for someone else. Do it bc you want to do it! I cant tell you how many people have wanted to change me to their own liking and for their own benefits. Its disgusting. I dont want to be part of cult aka society.
I love and totally agree with what you said
As African, I relate
I agree
A lot of healthy people out here who chose early not to marry and have children. Good on you.
My father condemned me all throughout my twenties for not starting a family and carrying on the family name.
Interestingly enough, in his youth he had multiple lovers with whom he had seven illegitimate children he was barely there for, one divorce and a second marriage that is slowly festering with each passing day.
Sounds like he was some busy fellar XD
Sounds about right for the boomer generation
My dad already cheated on my mom what Legacy bro F that S*** I don't wanna deal with no family legacy and be my own person!
Your father is a bad human being, why would you even care what he thought about your lifestyle?
@@vernongrant3596 when you have only one parent in your life, their opinion of you matters that much. Believe it or not I connected more with my step mom and when she started to hate him too I realized just how toxic he was.
I tried marriage. Got divorced after 8 years. No kids and im 44 with no debt, no drama, and no regrets. I have so much peace now. I tried dating, but I even found that to be a chore.
The minute I think of dating, marriage, kids, spouse, this, that, I'm filled with a nauseating sense of dread that comes. I even have breathing problems, as mild as it is. It just forms an unpleasant knot in my gut
Thanks for sharing that, as a single 26 yo guy, this somehow resonates with me, as I've tried dating and felt the same.
Yup
i tried a relationship after being divorced and it was even worse. the more time passes, the worse women get. now i got peace and i am quite happy.
100% Ditto on that.
I could never take life seriously. I've never wanted to follow the lifescript 1.0. The longer I live the more I'm convinced that it's best to just stay away from all the human-made drama altogether. Their insecurities, fragile egos, fear of death and controlling, needy nature are way too exhausting to deal with. I just want peace and quiet, nothing else.
I understand these all...yet can't stop myself from being affected....what to do!! I seriously want to imply what I know... still i find myself stuck to things said to me or judgements passed on ... what's the way out!! I sincerely m asking
@@shraddyswift8206once you realize you are not your thoughts and emotions but just the vessel experiencing them you will become free. Learning to be the observer and not applying judgement to the thoughts that pass like clouds is a fundamental part in separating from the chains of the ego. I highly recommend Eckhart Tolle, Micheal Singer, and Mooji teachings to help better understand this concept. All the love and hope you can find freedom.
@@shraddyswift8206 When you observe your lingering thoughts and feelings you become above them. So acknowledge those worrying thoughts about those judgements and then say what you truly want. Did you know your mind shapes your reality? Billions of people want happiness and now he universe is showing us how, shape your thoughts.
@@shraddyswift8206 Know that a lot of us have to deal with the punching bag treatment unless you have privileges to deal with it less or not at all.
When I was a younger man, I used to wonder why the married with children spent so much time trying to convince the young and unmarried that it was an imperative to get married and have children. I heard all the reasons and rationalizations, and while I wasn't opposed to marriage, I didn't have it as a personal goal. In fact, I think that marriage is an essential institution for the furtherance of our species and for the development and maintenance of society. Still, I couldn't quite grasp why there was so much pressure by those who choose the family way to convince everyone that that was the only sensible and honorable way. Finally, it dawned on me, as I observed at all the unhappy married couples, the bitter divorces, and consequent state of society. The reason must be that misery loves company.
100%
My take on it as well.
Marriage is not an essential institution bro. It’s thrust upon us, the state interferes through marriage. Women have been brainwashed that marriage is a spiritual occasion, all these disney characters and happily ever after psyop. State controls men through women.
That's it.
You got it right
So you married
For me, life got much better when I learned to mind my own business and not try to mind others business. So, if I am to suggest something, it is - "Do what you think is best for you, and ignore the opinions of others".
Yup.
Or if on a bumper sticker.....
SUCCESS IS HAVING
YOUR OWN APPROVAL
Things that society depends upon should obligatory. No society can survive without kids. So you should delineate private business and public duty.
Same here. Whenever I made choices based on what I thought was best for me I was winning in life. Whenever I made choices based on opinions of others, my life was turning into a mess.
@@angelinasimon3513 Yes Ma'am. It was amazing when I started doing things for me first, and not others. Of course, the others got upset with it.
For me, as long as that involves causing no harm to others, I'm all for it.
I onced walked into a cabin in the woods where everyone carved their names into the walls and all the wooden furniture- thereby totally trashing the place. They did this so a physical manifestation of their presence would remain after they left the cabin. This sums up the primary motivation why most people have children.
That's such a stupid, primitive biological desire that should be trumped by logic.
People have children because we are biologically built by genes that are selfishly trying to continue to exist. The Selfish Gene by Dawkins. And the fields of evolutionary biology and psychology expound on all this. It’s basic biology. It’s not a conscious choice so much as an instinct for most people.
The more curious question is why people who have kids seem to want all the other 8 billion humans to do the same. Why would they care? This also has philosophical answers but beyond the scope of this comment.
Primitive biological desire yes, stupid well that would depend on your reason for the primitive behavior and if your allowing your biology and not your 'logic' to lead you@@normanosborn1277
Having children is and was a way for people to gratify their sexual desire in a socially acceptable way.
That's a bad comparison though. You'd have no complain about the people who built that cabin in the woods, thereby leaving a physical manifestation of their presence in a place that didn't have them before.
I myself find parallels between the cabin and childless people. A long line of ancestors tried their best to raise children and yet it ended with childless people because "life sucks". That's like the people who doesn't maintain the cabin passed down their family line and left it rotten and marked with graffiti.
"The greatest tragedy of family is the unlived lives of the parents " -- Carl Jung
The greatest tragedy is to bring another innocent soul to suffer on this prison planet.
@@FactsCountdown LOL. facts. I was interested in a big family when I was younger. It never worked out and time just went on and I got older and older. Now, I'm in my mid 40s and happy that I never had kids because frankly, the world and most people are so sh1tty, that I wouldn't want to sentence a human being to a lifetime on this planet.
jorden ignoring that
@@Slender-billed_Curlew so we should try finding good person which we can make happy each other or just try to be happy alone?
may be being alone is not the answer? or being with partner is not the answer?
Damn, that hits deep, i always urged my mom to live her own life intead of worrying about me and my life
I'm almost 43 years old and a single man. I've never been totally against marrying but I've always known it was optional, not mandatory. My family members have often been puzzled as to why I decided to opt out of marriage barring something extraordinary happening. However, I don't absolutely need a soulmate or children. What I do need is peace, tranquility and emotional balance in my life. I'll remain single if it means avoiding unnecessary drama.
Bingo!!!
I hear you dude. I never married or had children myself. Sounds like a lot of drama for sure 👽
U have good sense.
For me, my freedom to chose what to do every day with my time without having obligations to children or even a partner is priceless. I will never give this up and I don‘t care anymore what others may think of how I live my life. If they use their time to think and debate about how others live their life, they are the ones using their time the wrong way. As long as you are not harming or taking advantage of others, you are free to live your life the way you want.
Dear Kushi
RIGHT ON!
EXACTLY!
DITTO!
❤ from a contented childless never married faded HippieChick. ✌ 😄
É sobre isso!!!
I follow my nature. No partner, no family, no stress, no obligations, no troubles, no consessions. Freedom, serenity, Joy, goals, creativity, nature. I love it! 😊
I have all that and two sons.
and your life is of no consequence either...
You have failed in life. It’s okay.
What a bunch of douches on this comment thread.
@@matthewschiebout7384 Neither is yours.
You are the only person who can decide what's right for you. If you choose not to get married and have children, it's no one else's business. Your life, your choice.
Sure, and you're the one who'll live to suffer the consequences, that's true for any bad choice.
Except western countries are sort of pyramid schemes for social benefits so without kids expect a different quality of life when you are old if too many people dont have kids.
@@dannymoneywell Why is not having kids and not getting married a bad choice by default?
@@ItsaDonut Because the world is a cold difficult place to thrive in even with a family and without one it's and even harder colder lonelier place where at the end of your natural life you will be alone and depending on strangers for everything, it's not that complex of a concept to grasp.
@@dannymoneywell
Having a family with kids does not guarantee that they will be there for you when you are old, or even care about you as is. Children leave their parents all the time, spouses leave their partners all the time. Besides, your kids could potentially not make it that far.
On the other side, having no partner or kids doesn't guarantee loneliness. You can have a social circle of people who care about you instead of strangers. You can also find companionship in other things that aren't tied to family. Can always take care of the elderly who aren't related to you, or have a pet.
I never got married and never had children. As time advances, I am more and more convinced I made the right decision for myself and for the planet.
Definitely the right decision
same
Fact is, life drags us to many places we can't predict. Sometimes we want children or marriage and we can't find it. Sometimes we have sex with a woman, she gets pregnant and we marry because now we have a responsibility whether we like it or not. So the best thing is to make peace with how our lives are going, either having more money and buying a car or a computer as a single man, or watching your child grow and deriving satisfaction from that. We choose less than we think, it's hard to wrestle our impulses, and it is hard to be either married or single, because the life we don't have seem alluring because we only focus on the good parts of it.
Most people don’t want kids though. They want sex. Once the kids show up then they want to take care of them. That’s how biology makes animals for the most part. In all of human history the vast majority of children were not planned and they are “wanted” after they show up. Now that we can decouple sex and reproduction the game changes.
"I really don't fit in, even if I wanted to"
This hits home 😢
Jesus didnt "fit in" either.. Most genius's have almost no friends., Mensa is full of alcoholics. The ocean of humanity takes many forms
I feel the same. I invest so much, is it me
We all are self obsessed, self obsessed so much so that we don't even see the stupidity of this video creators statement: I would want to work on my goal instead of marriage and maybe make contribution to humanity. The problem is not this, but if 100% people followed your life path THERE WOULD NO HUMANITY BE LEFT. 😅
It always comes down to is whatever your doing in life can other people do it or not when they watch you, don't let other people fill up with contempt that they hate you also don't let them see you, truly mind your solitude.
@@words007first of all. All of the people never think the same.and also the creator of the video never mentioned like, this is the right thing to do. You're just finding an stupid excuse to justify your ideology.
@@words007 Watch the video ten times over and you might understand the essence. Not everyone has the skill of listening.
Wow, THANK YOU! 58 years of questions, never married, no children for fear of being what I came from and knowing my existence was forced. You touched on many things! 🙏
I am a woman who has never wanted to have children. I have a meaningful job helping others at a hospital, I have a few good friends, I do a lot of fun stuff in my free time (I climb mountains, ski, fly a paraglider, read, meditate, do yoga, play a piano, swim in the lake, watch movies... ) and on my way I even met an amazing partner and have love in my life. I am truly happy and satisfied living my life. I love my nephews and my partner's nieces, but whenever I see a mother and a child I just think "I am so happy it is not me" and go back to my wonderful life... ❤
Yea, that's great. But although many men think that's okay for them to be single and childless, they heavily judge women who are CHOOSING to be single and childless.
Perfectly timed video for all those “why are you single”, “when are you getting married” and “when are you having kids” conversations that inevitably occur at this time of year!
😂😂😂 for real. I want to get married but not now and I'm not sure I want kids, most of the time I don't want.
Reminds me of a joke. "When i was younger and attended weddings of relatives the older ones would come up and say: you are next. When i started doing this at funerals they didnt find it funny anymore" :)
Solution: I don't talk to my relatives for years now and never will again.
@@mosuke5123😂😂😂
Are you okay??
I’m perfectly happy being child free and never been married. I had girlfriends and made this clear to them. I enjoy traveling, buying my big boy toys and financially stable. I’ll be 50 yrs old in two months and have no regrets.
yet
@@lynnedavidson4772I’m 79 and I haven’t had regret yet 😱🤔😜🖕👀
@@lynnedavidson4772 if he hasn't had regrets "yet" he never will. Stop pushing your own insecurities on others.
@@lynnedavidson4772 why do you say so?
@@lynnedavidson4772dude is fifty, if he was to be regretful of that choice a decade ago it would already have bitten him
"A child didn't ask to be here." I spend a lot of time thinking this since young age. I didn't ask to be born and I'm not happy. That's probably the reason I never wanted to bring a life into this world of suffering. Now nearly 60 and I cannot thank enough to be able to support the life I really enjoy, which is not much for many people, and not caring what others think about it. I learned overtime that the most important thing in life is if you are happy without thinking what others think of you. This video says it all. Thank you for another great video!
The problem with that statement is that you could have choosen to opt out of living at any point in time during those [nearly] 60 years, but you chose not to because no matter what terrible experiences you may have had, deep down you know that to be alive is better than to not be alive.
Not bringing children into this world is 100% your choice, but please don't paint it as some selfless act.
It's just my own view. I did not paint anyone's view with anything. I learned to appreciate living but I do not have attachment to it whatsoever. If I die tomorrow I wouldn't miss living at all. Here is my point. You would think I should have killed myself, but that is precisely the suffering I am talking about. Taking my own life will surely be an enormous physical suffering, wouldn't' it? I didn't have to think about that if I didn't live.
I do appreciate my mother for bringing me to this world, so I call her every year on my birthday to thank her for having me. Although she choose it herself, she suffered greatly when she gave birth to me. For that suffering, I respect her choice and try not to be a total waste for her.
I respect people's choice of how they live their lives or how they think, because I have no right to judge anyone's lives. And I hope other's don't judge mine as well.
Children are not retirement plans
I am 71, never married. Sometimes I do regret not having any children, at least none that I know of. But I've enjoyed life it's been an adventure and looking forward to the rest of this adventure
Admirable honesty about regretting not having kids but nonetheless having enjoyed life and looking forward to the rest of life. I feel similarly, it’s not black and white for me!
I'm 41, divorced with no kids, not religious and couldn't be happier. I don't date, I no longer desire to be in a relationship and don't currently have pets. Anytime I aspired to be what society wanted me to be, I was miserable. I may have mental health struggles and brain problems to contend with, but I'm happier in life than I ever have been before. I live a very peaceful life where I can pretty much do whatever I want and I would never go back to the life society wants me to live.
While this might sound conspiratorial (growing up in a cult like Mormonism will tend to do that)
An idea Started to form in my twenties, is that they want to sell you something that makes you deeply miserable, yet market as the be all end all of happiness, so that you are so busy trying to figure out why you are so unhappy that you simply are unable to see that your being robbed for essentially no reason. The text book example of this is the car. So many people are maddingly depressed when driving, their health suffers, yet they are told not only that it's necessary, but that it's "freedom".
Meanwhile cars get bigger, the loans get bigger, and the people get bigger, all without understanding that literally the person in Amsterdam is healthier, wealthier and happier BECAUSE they don't own a car.
@@ethanstump I would argue that cars can be a great time IF you have the wealth to maintain them, and you live in a place with low traffic. As for the average American consumer...well...they get sold a bill of goods and stay miserable as a result of it. The McMansion, the SUV, the long stressful high traffic commuting, all of it is a garbage lifestyle. I went a different path and am far happier for it.
Do you have to pay her any alimony, though? Not sure if it still applies if you didn't have kids.
@@forgottensage-o5o No, I have never been made by the court to pay alimony.
@@Ziegfried82 that's the thing though, is that car manufacturers specifically lobbied the government during the world wars NOT to be labeled as luxury goods. i personally would've loved if cars had remained the domain of the rich, but the rich specifically did not want that to be so.
I'm close to 41 and happy that I made the decision to not have children. All my life, everyone has told me that I'd make a great dad, and yes, I agree. I did want children up until 6 years ago. I'm just glad it didn't happen when I wanted to be a father. I cherish my peace, tranquility, and free time way too much.
As a life long introvert, having all that drama, noise, constant eventfulness, never having worthwhile free time, loss of tons of money, constant worry about the well being of my loved ones, being social by force so my child/children can have healthy mentalities, etc...would be a nightmare.
I'm an awesome uncle & great uncle. That's more than enough for me. I just feel bad for my mom. I'm her only child, and she always wanted, and I admit, she deserves to be a grandmother. The only reason my choice bothers me, is because of my mother. She's been so great in my life, even as an adult. My decision robs her of the happiness she deserves 😢
True but I bet she wants to see you happy and having kids when you didn’t want too she wouldn’t want that for you
Well it ain’t over yet. You’re 41 not 71. Still can make babies.
Nah. Your decision is your decision. She’s not entitled to grandchildren.
How can you be an uncle if you have no siblings?
@@RodneyAvery-o2q 🤔🤔🤔
When I was young, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to be a flight attendant, I wanted to live in Hawaii. None of that happened after I got pregnant. After my girls were grown and moved out, I jetted to the southern US and enrolled in college and went to New Orleans with various friends. I got involved in photography and theater. I never finished my degree (it was kinda dumb)…and now I look ahead towards my future. I no longer listen to anyone who tells me what I need to do. I do what I want, when and how I want to do it. My point is, never listen when other people tell you how to live out your life. As far as we know, we only get one life (unless you are Buddhist or something) so make it YOUR best life. ❤
Pain of being a non resident father for 15 years is slowly killing me. Don't have a child from someone you don't love. Don't!
What's non resident father mean? 😮
@@honor9lite1337 He doesn’t live in same state as his child.
No it means the child doesn’t live with you at your residence. The child lives at another residence hence the saying he is not the resident parent.
Then why did you do it? Did you not believe in love at that time or what?
This stated so poorly. The use of double negatives doesn’t help. What are you really saying here?
I was 18 when I got married, she was 17. It was hard, I watched my friends all go to college while I slaved away in welding shops. That was 1990. We got through the tough times (first 5-7years) and made it work. Wasn’t easy. But worth it. My kids turned out great, my son went to Navy, married his girl now I have 4 wonderful grandkids. My daughter is now 30. She has chosen to not have kids or get married. I can see both sides of this. Extremes in both decisions. I love them both no matter what. Oh yeah, thought I would add, Money don’t make good parents guys.
Well done!
this feels like a tough life, well lived.
Money might not make you a better parent but drifting in their hand built drifting go-kart that their dad welded up for them will. You can't do that along with many other things without having some money to afford to buy good time with them.
You completely sold out and went for the money jugular ;) Welding payed a lot back then, more than PhDs today. Somewhere I heard you get 3x pay in military if you have a spouse. I'm amazed this is not taught in schools as a career path. With a spouse you get the following perks: 1) Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH), 2) Family Separation Allowance (FSA), 3) Tricare Health Insurance, 4) Basic Allowance for Subsistence (BAS), and Other Benefits: These can include access to military commissaries and exchanges, educational benefits, and recreational opportunities. Wow! I think people remain poor because they are kept in the dark via information asymmetry lol
Great interview on diary of a ceo with Chris Williamson.
Most men’s brains have been high jacked by their daily dose of online p@r.n hacking their drive to find a mate protect a family, strive for a purpose, be a steward of change from a sick society.
They justify with their higher brain like this enzweiler dude denying that their reptilian brain is being manipulated.
They participate in the womanly world of talk more than action as they have been programmed for fear. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of not being important enough, so they smile weed to cope.
Men are becoming so feminized by society by their inability to see, it’s not about choice…the choice is gone. Addicts only have the choice to get help on order to stop. Most can’t handle the pain so they will fail and go back into comfort.
The men that do, will be looked up to as something special when they just actually unplugged from the matrix of brain hacking done by experts of addiction.
I… don’t know what to say. This video came at the PERFECT time for me. I’ve always thought I was weird for wanting to remain single and childless.
But I look through the comments, and I see a whole community of people who feel the same way. ❤
Life isn’t a checklist made by other people. Life is an experience determined solely by you.
I'm feeling like I've found my tribe in these comments❤ Peace ✌️
Well, the only thing I can say about Dr. P scathing opinion in the beginning is this.
*That is the typical comment I would expect from a condescending, pretentious, sophistic, baby boomer*
yes, the majority of their generation are fooked up ppl, insomuch that they had lived life on easy mode while all subsequent generations had continued deteriorating conditions.
Life isn’t a checklist made by other people - you are so right!
Damn straight
You're definitely not weird! I'm 40, single, no children, never been married, have a successful career, focus on my passions and self development and very happy in the process 😊
When I was pretty young my mom told me "someday you'll have a pain in the ass just like you running around and you'll understand." I replied "nope." I think about that moment fairly regularly. I've stuck to it. I sometimes feel kind of bad because I know for sure she'd love some grandchildren, but bringing a child into this world just seems cruel. Not to mention that in America it's a one way ticket to poverty. The energy that I would spend raising kids, I hope, is being used to advance society in other areas.
❤ brilliant 😊
There is not even a need to advance society. Most people don't. Many people can't, even if they would like to. But it is not their fault. There is nothing wrong with just living your life without these thoughts of doing something for society. We are not ants.
Yeah we pretty much are wanting more wage slaves to ''contribute to society''. Its BS, I rather be on a stranded island than be in this shithole. Everyone is an opportunist, looking to make some money from you. Nothing in these modern societies is free. People can't even build their own shit because the government owns the land.
If I could just pack up find a off the grid area and build my own shit I would. However at some point someone will find it, government will tear that shit down and tell me I have to leave because they own it or theres some law preventing me from occupying the space. Maybe thats why survival skills aren't taught in school, keep people locked in to society.
I had to take care of my grandma because her children (including my mom) didn’t want to. Advice from my grandma: don’t have kids
Sad and funny at the same time.
I'm not targetting your grandma per say but one can't draw conclusion on a single sample. I'd say it's not rare that grand parents may be way nicer with their grand children than they were with their own children (it's a 24/7 relationship, with grandchildren it's only from time to time).
The grand parents may also raise their childs like spoiled little brat who won't care in return, so if their kids don't care about them may partly be their fault.
I was born to an abusive mother and a father who I rarely see because he is busy with work
My childhood was hell, there was no one to really care about me
I was bullied at school, beaten, and burned at home by my mother for no logical reason. In addition, I did not have any real friends. They were all toxic and exploitative.
This left me with a lot of scars as I grew older
I began to suffer from insomnia and anxiety most of the time, social phobia, in addition to self-loathing and depression. I always wonder: What did I do to deserve all this? I was just a crying, fragile little girl
All I want is to feel okay, that I'm good enough, and that I'm worthy of love
I really wonder why I didn't think about suicide at that time...
I grew up to become an introverted, isolated, and eccentric woman in the eyes of my family and others
I became cold, sarcastic, and indifferent to anything that happens to me in this life. Even death doesn't scare me anymore.
I think the three best things that have ever happened to me in this cruel world
My silly cat, Leon, and my best friend, Lian. I also joined nursing. I did not find nursing suited me at first, but now I believe that I was truly created to be there. I was created to take care of others.
I remember that one time brought tears to my eyes when a patient told me while smiling that although I appear to be a cold-hearted woman, I really have the heart of a caring angel.
This hit me hard and I was truly touched by his words
I am now single and have decided to remain so. I find marriage and having children to be optional and not compulsory as society and those close to us impose on us.
My mother pressured me to marry a lot because many people proposed to me for marriage, but I refused. She told me that I would be alone and that no one would care about me, and that I would die and rot alone.
I don't know why I laughed at the time, I found it really ridiculous
But I was always alone, mom. What has changed now?
I'm so used to being like that anyway that even the presence of other people doesn't make me feel comfortable
I would rather be like this than have a child exposed to neglect, violence, and bullying, as happened to me
A child is in pain and never stops asking what he did wrong, mom
I decided to remain single, I am really happy
I have my cat and my books and I play the piano and watch the stars and my blue flowers
I play chess with my best friend every Friday
I have nursing, philosophy and psychology and I didn't really feel like it
This happy before
Also, as I said, the matter differs from one person to another. The decision in the end is up to you, whether you want to get married and have children or remain single. Just do not let anyone determine that except you, because no one understands you except you.
Write a book may be
Search antinatalism
You had a bad childhood,but you lived through it and that horrible experience formed you as you are now, plus you didn't let other people's perception dictate your life,good things will come now, the worst has passed,good luck:)
Join to a humanist association or be a volunteer in something. Or better: work helping animals. Thats gonna makes you feel so good.
I can't thank you enough for how you and your content introduced me to a fresh way of thinking and living. I found this channel back in 2022 while I was going through a really difficult phase of my life and didn't know which way to head. Einzelgänger will always hold a special place in my heart. I am truly thankful. ❤
I agree what a blessing he is. I like to pass on the Christian audiobooks and sermons channel.
I found Einzelgänger in 2022 as well. I have bought all of his book and they are very helpfull.
@@brotto3145 truly!
@@LeeAdrian777 there's a lot to learn and unlearn
I agree with this video. My mother suffers from mental illness and my father was an abusive alcoholic. They should have never had children but they had 4 because they were being selfish. I never asked to come into this world. And since they didn't know how to raise children in a loving environment, I suffer from depression, anxiety and OCD. I made the decision years ago not to have children because of this. I also understand that bringing a child into this world is against their will. They might suffer from the same things that I have even if I gave them a loving and supportive environment. I wasn't willing to do that. I am so glad that I decided agaisnt having children. I'm not sad that I won't have anyone to visit me when I am older. I am excited that I will be able to do whatever I want when I am older without disappointing or relying on my children. I have true freedom of not having anyone that relies on me or I rely on.
Nice cat pic
I’m a 62 year old man. Was married at a young age. Tried to start a family, but no luck. At the time we were greatly disturbed by this, but here I sit nearly 40 years later, divorced and on my own and….strangely enough…..thankful I never had kids.
With age and maturity I came to realize that I was much better off childless. My life is less complicated, less expensive, and more free.
Loneliness? Nah. Not really a problem for me. I have enough friends and family relations as it is. Also, anytime I need to get out and rub shoulders with people I grab my wallet and my keys and off I go on a leisure activity like travel.
I am fully content and this man made a LOT of very good points on this video.
Parenthood is not for everyone. To each their own.
I can't appreciate this video enough. Whenever I talk about how having children can be selfish, others look at me like I'm crazy and selfish. I'm not, I've just been able to see past the fairytale we've been sold.
Indeed, being a _good_ parent precludes selfishness while mere reproduction or the desire to do so does not indicate virtue. I've known terribly selfish parents who scarred their children for life. These were regular people whom others would say of them things like "she's so sweet."
It's best to not mingle with light headed and deluded individuals
My parents fought constantly so I never wanted to risk replicating that scenario in my life. As I grew up my friends were getting divorced and having to pay child support. Just seems like more reasons to avoid it than not.
Yeah same here, they simply never stopped fighting, day & night, 24/7/365. I'm born 1960, parents circa 1930. I do see it as a blue collar, 10th grade educated, greatest / silent gen thing, everyone I knew as a kid, friends & family, same thing - totally abusive parents, to each other, to their kids. I had to get away from my parents when I went away to college, managed to live on my own from then on. Even coming home to visit for a day or 2, right back to the constant fighting, over the same old stupid trivial things for decades, every day, it would trigger feelings of extreme anxiety & depression - later on I figured out I literally have PTSD about my entire childhood, especially family gatherings & holidays, I still have PTSD about Christmas season, need to stay home alone all of December. Sad.
@@sideshowbob It sounds like you grew up in a warzone. Not surprised you have PTSD. My sympathies.
Same here.
@@sideshowbob WTF YOU "STAYING HOME ALONE" ALL DECEMBER IS 90% OF PEOPLE ARE AT HOME ALONE TROUGH MOST OF THE MONTH YOU CLOWN
A 50% divorce rate and that means hefty child support payments and a loss of your assets. Doesn't seem like very good odds. Not sure why anyone would even risk getting into that situation.
Great video! I definitely cringe whenever I hear people proclaim what people are supposed to do with their lives. Some people just want to feel in control of others and like they are doing it “right.”
So bloody true
And the marriage thing is the religious construct to control women, men's property, used to ensure women were pure to be married off to the highest bidder, the dowery. Hence the tradition now where the brides parents pay for the wedding. It's all a bunch of hooey. I'm have been in a committed relationship for 3 yrs. Don't need to marry Ever. We both don't want to. Doesn't change our feelings for each other. Married or not. ✌️
Judgemental people like to talk about freedom and liberty etc, but they usually mean only for themselves and people like them. For anyone who's different from them that talk suddenly goes out the window and they say something like "you should get married and have children". That is, people who are different don't have any freedom or liberty to live how they want to, but should conform to what judgemental people think is the right way to live.
im 25 and have no plans of having kids or getting married or having a gf. I love my single life to much
My favourite is when I'M called selfish for NOT having children.
That's breeder "logic".
Use Anti-Natalism to defend yourself, lol.
To understand this you would have to examine who is calling you selfish. A parent who wants grandchildren? Some jerk on the internet? There’s usually a logical explanation for such a comment. And that motivation is going to be in the selfish interest of the person trying to shame you.
yeah it’s really fucking tedious lol
choosing to not have a kid due to health and environmental reasons is one of the most selfless things you can do
never pay attention to those kind of people, they’re insecure and projecting how they feel about themselves towards you
Selfish toward who??? Your non existent children? A society that's trying to exploit you and treat you like a baby factory?
There's one thing that parents and non parents agree on- they both feel sorry for each other
yet parents also feel sorry for themselves too, because modern parenting makes you into a slave of the society you live in.
EXCELLENT comment
Well ; I disagree to some extent !!! My husband & I would love to have children of our own ; we are financially stable with very good solid careers & good jobs but Unfortunately due to medical conditions beyond our control even with IVF; have been unsuccessful 🥲🥲🥲. I look @ couples with children 👦 & really wish I could be in their shoes . We’re not jealous or envious; We just wish we could have a family of our own as well . So I wouldn’t say All Parents & Non parents feel sorry for each other ; May be just some !!! I know Parenting is very challenging but most loving couples eventually figure it out & raise able bodied & responsible children !!! I still hope we get that Opportunity God willing🙏🏿
He is the most inspiring person I have ever met, I listen to a lot of his stories. Those shares changed me a lot for the better when I heard those profound shares from him
Everybody have problems and miscommunications, its up to each individual to make an effort to maintain healthy relationships.
If you do not do or can not do it, then he is right, you are an lazy, selfish, dilutional or immature.
Good parents try to leave this world just a little better for their children and do not feel sorry for each other.
Family unit is a core of our civilization and current narrative and people like you is what will destroy it.
Fun fact, without families we as a species will cease to exist.
I am 60 years old, and never had children and I am not married. I am perfectly happy and have no regrets in my decisions to walk a different path.!
only 60 years old
still so young and immature
once you hit 63 you will surely change your mind!
Ecclesiastes 4:2-3 GNT
"I envy those who are dead and gone; they are better off than those who are still alive. But better off than either are those who have never been born, who have never seen the injustice that goes on in this world." Rock of Ages
"Traditional wisdom is often long on tradition and short on wisdom."
Warren Buffett, businessman investor
"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man"
F. Nietzsche. "laughing lion" for the ages
“It would be better if there were nothing. Since there is more pain than pleasure on earth, every satisfaction is only transitory, creating new desires and new distresses, and the agony of the devoured animal is always far greater than the pleasure of the devourer”
― Arthur Schopenhauer
@@SuspiriaX you are not funny
@@qdpqbp so married ppl do not watch youtube SO YOU ARE HERE QZ YOU FEEL LONELY HAHAHAA POOR ONE GO TALK TO WALL MAYBE U GET FEELINF LESS LONLEY HHHHHHHHH
im happy for you.
‘’Be alone ,that is the secret of invention. Be alone, that is when ideas are born”
Nikola Tesla
I was born to be a mother. My kids are my world. This has made me realise that too many people are having children who really don't have the maternal instincts and would rather be doing something else. Having children is only for those who truly want kids. There are too many unloved kids/people who have mental illness due to knowing they were not really loved and wanted. Just watch Soft White Underbelly to see what I mean.
What you've expressed above is one of the most mature opinions I've ever encountered.🖖👍
I wasn't loved as a child. Beaten and mentally abused. Still struggling sometimes and I am 61. Don't get me wrong. I think kids are wonderful and probably they are sometimes not so wonderful. I always thought I might be horrible to my kids too and rather have none. I am glad I don't have kids. But I am very glad that children like me. I am very kind to kids.
❤ so true
God bless you, but to each its own.... its all about loving your own situation.....
Loving Mothers always seem to have the absolute purest reasoning and acceptance. I’m patiently waiting for humanity to allow loving mothers lead us to heal…again-thank you
I found out that being ALONE is probably the best thing that happened me. Wasn't on purpose, but it's just the way it is..
Same, it felt like it was not my own decision, as a 47 year old male women just don’t feel attracted to me so I have been single and dateless my whole life. I’m also at the point now that I think it’s Best thing that happened to me.
@@koningkoe I'm a 44F and would happily date a man your age (45-50) is my preferred age range. All the men I find in this age range are either divorced with kids or still banging on about wanting them. 🙄. I really don't want kids!! You sound great! 😅
@@Kittygirl88851 I am great, people like my personality generally. the problem is that I have a partially deformed face that can't be corrected by surgery so that's the reason I wouldn't find any woman that wanted to give me a chance and I certaintly won't blame them. I fully understand why women ignore me I would probably do the same if I was a woman.
Even though i'm deformed there some men out there that are deformed as well and they did find love, but I was not that fortunate sadly.
I enjoy being alone but I someimes feel sad that skipped everything in life but i'm happy that i'm still alive.
I am a 50 year old woman who is happily not married . There isn’t one single married friend of mine, who doesn’t envy my life. I am successful, I am attractive. I have time to learn, read, grow , take care of my health and so many other things. I travel for a living and travel for leisure four times a year. I am truly happy. The common thing I hear from my married friends with kids is when their kids are grown they’re going to join me in my lifestyle. My own married sister is miserable with her kids and drowning in health issues that she’s not able to take care of because she’s working herself to death to take care of her house and kids while her deadbeat husband left her after 23 years of marriage. I respect the institution of marriage, but I knew from a very young age that it was not for me. Great video and thank you.
No need to put down people who chose to have children. Your personal anecdata proves nothing. I have 4 children who are grown, and am really happy in my life. I was never married, raised my kids into successful adults, own my own house and land, work and am healthy and fit. So my lifestyle is also great, and having 4 children did not prevent me from living it. Good luck to everyone who chooses the path that is right for them.
@@kidstuff44555 beautiful-happy for you . You wouldn’t know this, unless you’re a childless woman, but childless women are put down drastically in our society. This was the point of my story, and not to put you or anyone else with children down.
@@Busybeeee You're right. I wouldn't know your experience, only my own. I think women can't win if they care what society thinks. These days being a mother is often portrayed as a worthless or stupid decision too. Men are granted more leeway to be respected in their choices, but women are criticized whatever they do
I'm 43 and do not have or want kids, marriage. Saying no to "social norms" is very beneficial too.
Thank you for that Video. I'm Autistic (Aspergers) and can't endure contact with other People for too long. I tried, trust me. I got shamed for being on my own many times. They just don't understand that having a Family would break me mentally. I just don't want that.
Sounds relatable. I hope you'll find (or already found) your own, authentic ways to make your life enjoyable and worth living. 💪
@@Einzelgänger Thank you Mate. I'm just living a very humble and to most People boring life and that's all I want. Would not wish for anything else, the simple pleasures bring me the most joy in life.
No, it wouldn't, but i won't discuss that with someone who is hardwired against change.
Same here, single for life aspie, 39F, dog is my best friend, no family. I decided the buck stops here. No more passing the buck on all these chronic illnesses from trauma genes being flipped on so many generations now. Took medical retirement from big tech at 38.
@joakimpettersen98💓
As a sufferer of mental illness, I am in the camp of those who believe that having children is too much for us to handle. In my twenties, I was naïve and just assumed that I would one day find my soulmate and have children. But after countless rejections and going through a brief but terrible marriage, I experienced a mental breakdown and have never fully recovered. MDD and chronic anxiety prevents me from being "normal" - whatever that means. I don't have the luxury of ignorance. My existential crisis is profound. I'm not asking for sympathy, I'm trying to take it day by day and not let it my depression take my life. Hopefully some day science will find a cure for depression.
Have you tried sustained, regular exercise and wildly reducing processed foods? I deal with depression but these two things help me a ton; maybe they'll help you, too.
Thanks for sharing, stay strong and to hell with people who judge you.
Lots of pharma products are poison. LARIAM the anti malarial drug screwed me up with depression for years.
I do not take pharma products now.
MDD is tough. Like a shadow that never leaves you, completely. I hope you have adequate coping skills. Exercise is a good one. Find a purpose to continue each day, no matter how difficult. Don't ever lose your purpose.
I hope life gets better. Miracles can happen especially if you go looking for them.
43 and so happy I never got married or had kids.
I still live alone and wouldn't have it any other way.
Nothing wrong with marriage and kids, but that lifestyle just isn't for me.
I love my solitude.
Being around people for too long stresses me out.
Exactly… so many couples start the most random and idiotic “fights” between eachother, about the most pointless of things. I swear, my parents also even in their 60’s will get into screaming matches about the dumbest and most pointless of things. They both instigate them with me also, whenever I come over. Which is why I stay away. I enjoy my peace and comfort of being alone. Something is just inherently wrong about this human society. Working in the ER at Kaiser Permanente for the last 15 years also just goes to show just how many useless, brainless and attention seeking (which they aren’t getting in their own lives) miserable people there are in our society.
That’s good. You have another 43 years of that solitude to go so it’s good you enjoy it.
@@tomfree-man5096 How you know he is going to live another 43 years more?
Yeah, right there with ya. Give me my solitude. Went to a High School reunion. Every husband there was griping about the wife and the single ones were care free. Go figure.
@dennisdjy Yeah, my girlfriend knows I'll never marry her, have kids with her, or move in with her.
She says she's cool with it, and she gives me the space I need so I have a good arrangement so far.
Who can afford children ? Maybe we just dont want to raise kids in poverty?
Exactly 💯
That's the idea.
the idea is staying in competition alone until everyone dies off eventually one way or another and if that means compromising competition until your death we'll then be it.
Putting up with my mother telling us constantly for 16 years (before she left) that every problem in her life, and the reason she was so angry and miserable all the time, was because of 'you bloody kids!' put me and both my brothers right off the idea of being that miserable 🤷♂
Way to end your genetic line mum! 🤦♂
I know exactly what you mean. But I had children late in life, largely because my wife wouldn’t have it any other way. I have changed radically for the better. Yes it has been near-limitless stress, but the change was worth it all.
Its all perspective. Ur mum was to busy looking backwards to look forwards. You can avoid that mistake.
@@Elemblue2 That's a good point but I've got two motorbikes that need looking after now and I'd probably have to stop riding if I had kids coz I really suck at it 😂
@@LiminalLion Thanks for your reply. They’re adults now. One is severely autistic, and mentally at the level of a nonverbal 3 year old. It has been and continues to be gruelling right into my 70’s. But yes it has changed me for the better as a person.
That sounds like a 'her' problem. No reason why you would have the same hangup.
"To bear children into this world is like carrying wood to a burning house.”
― Peter Wessel Zapffe
That is a good one!
Yeah...don't give me that "biological imperative" nonsense. The world is ON FIRE right now. No place for new life until WE are ready to put the fire out and I see ZERO evidence.
Ohh this said everything 🙏
Sad but true.
My main man PWZ.
I'm happy you don't fit in anywhere else. Because of it you created a place for others like you, to fit in. Thank you so much for your videos. ❤
Allow me to say...loudly....DITTO!!
well said
I'm 37 years old, married and just had a little girl 2 months ago. I'm really happy with my wife and life overall as we work like a team in every way of life. I never feel alone or without support because of her loyalty and love. Therefore I respect her as my equal and work hard for her to feel the same.
However I truly understand people who don't want to get married. My older brother got married with the wrong person, they always fight, shame themselves, and have no respect for their relashionship. She has cheated him and for reasons I cant understand he accepted her back. I feel terrible for my brother a I truly believe he would have been happier staying single.
So, I think that if you found the right person for you, absolutely is worth living in marriege. If not, dont force it just to satisfy society expectations. You can be happy whatever path you choose to follow. Just be true and honest with yourself
Being childfree is a life choice and is as valid as having kids. It has good things and bad things and you have to deal with the consecuences of both choices. As a childfree married woman, I feel as normal and happy as the next person 🤸♀️
I haven't found anything bad about being child free. I actually adopted out , my only born child. That is how much I never wanted to be a mom. 😏 I gave her everything I couldn't. Anyway I digress....I'm 53, most likely I'll be living with my girlfriends drinking wine and playing in the sun! Heck yes!!
Congratz on your marriage! Hopefully you two stay childfree and happy 💕
@@spacenerd9499Well for one, you have to deal with the stigma that comes with not having something in common with your peers.
@@Raebrained Thank you!! we will! hehe I'm almost 50 and my husband is 53, this year we arrived at 20 years together 🤩 we are very happy
@@comforth3898 sounds like a small price to pay for happiness
I am almost seventy. As a child, I experienced abuse and poverty. I decided then that when I grew up I would enjoy life and remain free of family. I have never regretted it. I couldn't imagine me any other way. My long marriage ended with my husband leaving me in poverty so I do wish I had avoided marriage too. I am alone, most everyone has passed but I have my wonderful pets. I live in the woods. I am at peace. I was demonized by society for not wanting children. Society feels threatened by those of us who walk a different path. I love difference and diversity. Kindness is my religion. I don't fit in anyone's box. The road less traveled is always the most interesting one. Live and let live. I do have my opinions though and Jordan Peterson is someone to avoid!
I'm almost 60. Never married, though I had a partner for 28 years till he died. Some of it was really good, some really bad.
I always knew I never wanted children and have only ever had one person question that. I don't feel demonised, that's possibly reflective of the wider society we live in.
Peterstone can come out with some good stuff, but when he talks in absolutes as he does in that clip, it becomes a judgemental diatribe instead of a nuanced exploration of human nature
The road less traveled actually a book by m. scott peck.
I was also shocked by Jordan’s statement, I thought he was smarter than that
He's clearly not that smart. @@sy_dianne5224
@@sy_dianne5224 He's making a blanket statement in a specific context that has been clipped for media soundbites. He's not making a moral judgement about all people, he's just talking about what makes people happy in general and what is good for society in general. He wouldn't have a problem with someone living a humble life of solitude if that's what makes them happy.
He would, rightfully, I think, have a problem with someone trying to promote a lifestyle of single childlessness to those who would not benefit from it, while simultaneously feeling entitled to the fruits of a society that requires a steady supply of children (i.e, a next generation) to function.
Definitely walking an “unconventional path..” Always felt I was on the outside looking in on society!
Thank you for sharing 🙏🏾😊
For all those souls out here battling themselves wondering why they are having the thoughts & feelings that do not match up with societal “conventions”...💞
We are building a new, sustainable society based on logic and reason instead of being brainwashed by what most see as tradition but is really just a program🎉👀🎯
@@jen-cy6wj I hope you're right but recent events don't give me much, tbh.🫤
"Youre supposed to marry."
"Says who? Some guy in youtube?"
Haha that cracks me up! 😂
Haha😂😂😂
I was surprised by that statement. Usually, the choice of not having kids is very difficult. It can come from trauma, but most of the time, it requires a very deep knowledge of yourself. When everyone goes one way, you need to know all the reasons why you're going in the opposite direction. That's definitely maturity, in my opinion.
Nah, not anymore than the people "going one way" need to know all the reasons they're going in that direction. You could flip a coin to make your decision
It has longer been viable to get married or raise a family in our current western society. I was a Peace Corps Volunteer in Morocco in the late '90s. Having grown up in NYC, it was strange to be suddenly living in a culture where the larger community behaves as if they have a stake in YOUR life. I was in a small town a few miles outside the provincial capital. My landlord's family expected to have me over for dinner once a week, as did my boss and several faculty colleagues at the local school I worked. If a married couple in our building was overheard arguing the previous day, the landlord and neighbors would visit, intervene, stick noses in, and offer suggestions/solutions. Everyone keeping tabs on each other, sometimes annoyingly, but basically to make sure nobody in the community is lonely, having issues or problems (not even me- the weird Foreigner!), if there's a problem, everyone chips in the solve it, to relieve the stress.. It was so strange to be living in a society or community that not only "talks" about supporting marriage, but "actively" supported it through actions. In America, let's be honest, we ACTIVELY sabotage marriage! Bored? Unfulfilled? Your spouse pissed you off today? DIVORCE NOW! I realized that I could ONLY get married if I were living in such a community, where the entire village has a stake your marriage succeeding. You cannot do it alone! Definitely NOT in New York City, where nobody gives an #&% about you or your wife, and YOU don't give an &%$ about your neighbors (until they're on the local 6pm News!!). A much older Peace Corps Volunteer in his 70s told me that once upon a time, what I was seeing in my Moroccan town, existed in the USA pre-WW1.
Yeah. Mr Peterson was unwittingly projecting when he called us “delusional”. IMHO delusional is to take a look at the state of marriage, knowing full well that the odds are against you, and still go through with it.
I personally have 0 trauma and have amazing parents. I just don't want kids
@@juniorjames7076 While there's a lot of truth to that, I think it's also important to point out that some marriages are innately bad and will never be fixed by the community's efforts to "help." So in these cases, the community can be toxic. It will sometimes force the continuation of a toxic marriage. This is dangerous and it destroys lives. There have always been plenty of miserable, unhappy marriages throughout history. (That was the case in USA pre-WW1 and I guarantee you that there were such couples in that Moroccan town.) The couple remained married because they had no choice. The community would not let them divorce. They had to wait until death did them part in silent misery. They would have children because they had no real choice. It was demanded by their families, by society and God. This is of course a major point that lowlife Jordan Peterson conveniently leaves out when peddling his propaganda. Also, our ancestors had little in the way of birth control, which is the second BIG elephant in the room that Jordan Peterson does not like to address, either. "Were your ancestors wrong to have children?" The moron acts like people had a choice.
As a therapist who has extensive experience working in child protection and with victims of domestic violence, I applaud those who know themselves well enough to make a conscious choice and the courage and intelligence not to cave in to social pressure.
Courage and intelligence... not to help renewing their country's population.
Quite negative, despite said people judging themselves not to be parent-material.
@@Briselanceshut up
it's not about that. it's an issue of demographic. the least productive and stable people are breeding the most. the most intelligent and rational people are not. the current ecology is also not conducive to growth and reproduction. the empire must downsize and a lot of people have to displace or disappear by other means for there to be a renewed period of rising birthrate. in other words, there are no good environments left for intelligent people to begin families. the left saw to that.
@Briselance so you would like children to have parents who aren’t fully invested in them because they only did it to “keep the population up” and for the children to have multiple issues because of it?
@@Briselance This planet already has what, about 9 billion people now? Are you saying there aren't enough people already? India is half the size of the U.S. and yet felt the need to inflate its population to a full billion more than that of the U.S.! What have the rewards been?
- no improvement in the country's standard of living
- a million people per year dying of air pollution
- 5-6 figures of people per year dying of snakebite
- mass emigration to other countries
Other wonderful Third World economic write-offs include Bangladesh (half the population of the U.S., but twice the size of Iowa), Philippines, Nigeria, Indonesia, etc.
I agree with this. Many people who have kids live miserable, unhappy lives and raise terrible children who grow to be terrible adults and continue the cycle while some people who never reproduce live amazing lives and contribute to society. See Sir Isaac newton, Beethoven, George Washington, Michelangelo, Nikola Tesla, etc. If having kids was so great and beneficial, modern society would be wonderful with no crime or human misery.
What a delusion thinking.
@@Szklana147
But stats and studies show is accurate. Liking an opinion isn’t needed to make it accurate. Also to not to say all parents feel this way or kids but with billions in our world living in poverty w/lack of proper shelter, food, a safety and one’s who aren’t most struggle in a life time debt cycle to provide these things plus whatever society says you should. It’s not a stretch to believe the comment. Let’s not forget the millions of children neglected, abused, or trafficked and older ones on the street to avoid foster care or abusive home lives. Where do you think too many end up? There’s also epidemic levels (and rising) of depression, addiction etc. Our world isn’t easy for most parents and sadly too many children.
Just look at the majority of the so-called "politicians" (aka thugs and criminals in fancy suits) - they are the living proof how parenting can lead to a moral and existential cul-de-sac. These are supposed to be our 'leaders', Jesus Christ. And why should be somebody "led" by someone else who is as stupid and moronistic as the sheep itself? My God.
Difference is, people like Isaac newton, Beethoven, George Washington, Michelangelo, Nikola Tesla had made useful inventions, broadened the human psyche with new insights, created extremely powerful music or profound art that added a beauty to society that's unparalleled. They had fruitful careers that gave to society other than offspring, and I'm sure they'd be less productive if they did have kids(on the other hand if those kids inherited their gifted minds the kids could have multiplied their achievements especially given their head start with a parents).
However, most people in modern society don't have careers, they have jobs and can be replaced with the next poor schmuck with minimal training, only to be discarded as waste as soon as their productivity drops in old age. And then you still have a good 20-30 years to go....
@@jmc8076 In the past 50 years 90% of the kids born in this world were born in (abject) poverty, the question of whether to have kids is only a thing in wealthy, developed nations.
The question of whether to have kids is hardly asked by people in poverty or hardship, they just do because they need them kids to take care of them or when they're too old to plough the land.
Whatever my ancestors did, it stops here.
Haha. Yeah I can give 2 shits about continuing my bloodline. Why would I bring the burden of life on anybody after my disdain for it. I'll die happy knowing I didn't reproduce. I don't care if its a dealbreaker in a relationship.
Great video. Another thing I really hate is when I tell people that I don't want to get married or have children, I get the response, "You don't know that for sure. Maybe you haven't met the right person." I've even had people double down when I've repeated it and said, "No, I really don't want those things." It's almost as if it blows their minds that a person could never want that, or that the person must be unhappy.
Yeah, a lot of people really lack imagination. And any man who wants to get married in today's culture needs to get his brain checked.
They are simply projecting their anxiety on you, by gaslighting you.
The hard part in life is to figure things out on your own. Finding out by trail and error what your « core values» are. But when you do, you gain real confidence. And autentisity.
@@Ikaros23everyone have their own reality and base everything on that, no one can peek another person reality. So we are always projecting.
All I know is that I have six brothers who all have kids and are broke and unhappy. I chose not to have kids. I have a high six figure income, I have traveled the world and now at 57 I am very happy with my life. If that is immature, I will take it. Thank you for this video.
Are you saying your brothers are all broke and unhappy because they have children? I am single with no children, but my five siblings all have children. Only one is broke, but they are all relatively happy. Life and attitude is what you make of it.
I'm right there in the same boat. And +1 for Route 66, I grew up along that in one of the small towns 😁 I have lived in Italy and Liberia, Africa and have seen and experienced so many amazing things. Also made friends around the world and helped some of them attend and graduate from college. We've truly done well, brother!
As long as your path makes you happy and you are doing no harm to others along the way, I see no problem with whatever path you are on. The key seems to be to make sure you enjoy the ride and not spend your life looking at greener grass.
Absolutely, and to have enough self-awareness to know what you want. Sometimes people don't and end up with kids they don't want, or leave it too late and miss put on kids. Either is sad.
I can't believe my luck that I found this video, I have a feeling that you are the first person who understood my thoughts, I love all your videos!
Daaaaamn this is SPOT on. Congratulations man… You won the internet. You peeled the ridiculous remark by mr Jordan back like an onion and transformed that sh** into a magnificent lesson… The xenophobic reaction people tend to have is sooo toxic. You illustrated this beautifully… Amazing. I cannot find the words to express my gratitude that you took the time to make this video. It should be mandatory course material around the globe. I’m serious. You hit every friggin nail on this topic and every argument you make is factually right. I’m dumbfounded… You rule man, you friggin rule. Please continue your ways and never stop… The world is a becoming a better place thanks to minds like you 🙏
And maybe this will contribute to decreasing the toxic human overpopulation destroying the planet and other species.
@@clairelane3642 In the future, the population will decline NOT expand. It's already happening where I live and in many other countries. This is due to many people choosing not to have children as well as a decrease in fertility and an inability to have children. There will be many problems in societies when there is a critical decline.
Well said! I second this.
@@kristinab1078you're just regurgitating what you've heard others say.
The world has always had 'problems' and will continue to.
The only 'problem' those people you listen to mean, is the 'economy'.
The system needs a never ending supply of cattle, to use to fuel the economy, so it can thrive.
That's why they don't actually solve issues like poverty, hunger, war, slavery and terrorism (that the orchestrate).
Quit the hive mind thinking, and start analyzing from your own POV. Do the thinkinf for yourself, be critical of everything, or you'll be lead off a cliff one day, with the rest of the sheeple (metaphorically).
Jordan Peterson’s daughter got pregnant without being married. 🙄 He should preach to his daughter. He and Dave Ramsey is what you call p whipped. Their wives run the show.
It took me until I was 45 to realize that I am happier alone (as in not co-habitating, not necessarily completely isolated and never see another human).
I like people, but in small doses. I like seeing people in public, at Starbucks or restaurants I eat at, or at the bus stop. And when I've had enough, I want to go home to my cat and everyone else to fuck off.
And I don't want a 'permanent' romantic relationship either. Daliances and flings are perfect. Fall in "love", have fun for a bit, and then move on and do it again. I'm even more ok with monogamy than I am with co-habitation. In theory, I could see myself in an 'exclusive' relationship, as long as that person lived on their own like I do. Come over for dinner, get laid, go home!
I wish I had known this about myself when I was 18. I wasted my whole life and went through an enormous amount of trauma and heartbreak until I figured this out.
Omg, you just described me to the T! I used to think I was the only one who thought like this. I'm in my 30s, never had a girlfriend, had several flings and prefer the company of people in small doses, just like you. My mother pressures me to get married now and then but I ignore her. If the time is right I might consider marriage but never out of haste!
Same here.
I relate to this so much. Although i never had any flings, I never got to cohabitation either. It was just me going to her place or her coming to my place and then getting my own time and that was the perfect end-stage for a relationship to me. Never wanted to move it past that point. I could've been monogamous for life that way, but of course women's instincts are wholly incompatible with that idea.
@pandoraeeris7860 I agree with your comment! I'm a female in my mid 50s and have had several years-long relationships, and have been engaged twice. But I knew in my heart that despite loving both guys (different years, not the same time period,😁), I would not be married or have kids. I have very close friends, who are totally miserable alone. I try to show the positive side, but they feel the societal pressure, even though they are not at an age when they could still bear children.
I get much more collectively from all the short interactions at cafes, stores, the dog park,etc. without having the weight of a relationship. I currently have a guy who's 15 years older who is trying hard to get me to date... But I am not interested. Funnily enough, a year ago, I was spending fun times with a guy who is 20 years less than I am... So I tend to like younger guys (yeah, creepy) 😆 but in small time increments.
@@amg9163 . Older men want a nursemaid. Younger men don't!
I definitely prefer going against the grain and paving my own path to be my unapologetic self. It took 43 years to gain the confidence to live on my own terms, but it's absolutely liberating. My intuition is what I listen to rather than any social programming. Thank you for sharing your profound perspectives!
I agree, especially with being your own unapologetic self. People like to shame us and try to make us believe we should be "ashamed" of who we are, or be ashamed of mistakes, of standing out from everyone else. Can definitely say I firmly disagree with that. I don't apologize to anyone for who I am, or about honest mistakes I've made. I don't care if the majority disagree with me.
I think people can tell that we don't go along with the program, and they can be really put off by that sometimes. They're so used to being sheep that go along with what you're "supposed" to go along with. But I'm a firm believer in independent/individual thought and standing up for what's right when needed.
Excellent comment, for those of us who forge their own way! I don't ask anyone to follow me, we can have our own ways, most of the criticism comes from those who chain themselves! I crawled, out of the cave of ignorance a long time ago, we still have the freedom to do so.
As a 40 year old man thats single and childless; I get alot of pressure from my father to have a family. He doesnt understand that times are different, times are tough, and for me personally, I feel like having a family and raising children seems too stressful and financially draining.
Listen to your voice, forget what the world says
Ironaically, those who are more responsible and cautious don't have kids, while the crappy people tend to have kids nowadays. Of course, it doesn't help that the government steals from those who are productive to support those who are not making it more financial difficult for more responsible people to have a family
At your age it's not worth the risk. Divorce is always a possibility and trying to rebuild your life at say 50-54 would be a huge undertaking. Also at your age and likely your spouse the chances of having a special needs child is greatly increased. I have three kids with my wife and my middle child is non verbal autistic. The mentality of a toddler perpetually. She has a family history of bi polar, schizophrenia and other things. I work away from home for extended periods of time otherwise we would already be divorced. In all likelihood we still will be as it has become undeniable that she cannot get along with anyone for long no matter whom it is. As the great Robin Williams put it. Being alone is not the worst thing In the world, being in a relationship with someone and yet still feeling alone is
High divorce rates and you lose most of what you've worked for, hefty child support payments. Stay single and wake up every morning smiling and thankful for your freedom.