Sexual Fantasies, Science Deniers, and Dirty Sex

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ความคิดเห็น • 84

  • @deezname6417
    @deezname6417 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Why would politicians care about the environment? Forgive the ageism, but most of them are on a umm...short timeline, and they've already got theirs. All they have to do is keep the corporations happy and continue to keep the general population docile so they can enjoy their money and influence, and then they're dead. If they have kids, the politician has enough influence and money to keep their kin safe...So...

  • @saloni9006
    @saloni9006 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I’ve had both male acquaintances and female friends have crushes on and fantasies about me, female friends are more likely to be forward and communicative with it, despite this they’re never or rarely entitled, and I’ve only ever felt unsettled and betrayed by men’s fantasies, not always and not all male friends, but depending on a man’s personality and how well you know them, it’s more likely to feel devious, like I thought you were my friend and that’s where your head was? I think it goes back to the cultural role of entitlement. This submitter lacks entitlement to such an extent that she feels guilty about simply having thoughts that increased with her libido, perhaps because women are in their cultural roles still a little detached from their sexuality and we’re still learning autonomy and confidence and about the spectrum of our sexualities beyond passivity. BECAUSE of her frantic response to her thoughts, unless she loses control over them like you guys said, I think it’s unlikely anyone around her feels violated or betrayed (unless she grows very communicative and their own sexualities are repressed and such conversations unsettle them?)

  • @saloni9006
    @saloni9006 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I feel like double standards about taken men fantasising about other / taken women is more creepy because of it’s institutional context and history, men are (obviously not inherently by gender, but as a cultural role) significantly more likely to act on it, they’re more likely to not respect / apply boundaries such as consent, communication, penance, in their cultural role they’re more entitled, sexuality itself has institutionally been a man’s domain and something others are subjected to as opposed to active and dominant in, men DID anthropologically & culturally be accepted to have multiple partners without a condition of mutual agreement, etc. so women having fantasies just isn’t as intimidating and is more likely to be passive and self reflective rather than aggressively indulgent.
    This is all over the place but I’m a blabbermouth so I got more
    Because of the very same institutions and cultural roles mentioned above, because women are patriarchally objects subjected to sex as opposed to dominant aggressors that control sexual narratives (until feminist movements claimed autonomous female sexuality, but we’re still learning), women’s sexual projection isn’t usually seen as creepy despite possible discomfort whoever they’re fixating on may feel. It can invalidate the entitlement a man in that position may have to feeling uncomfortable with that attention and he is not ‘allowed’ to be very defensively aggressive about shutting it down. Because of how internalised these systems are, some women even feel over comfortable taking liberties, and may be unable to perceive themselves as “creepy.” Obviously not the case with the submitter, and her undue (in my personal opinion) guilt about having active fantasies is more inclined to the conventional female role of an empath and a nurturer, and the boundaries of that role may be contributing to her guilt with her sexuality
    I paused to type this at 11:16 so if it’s covered, whoops, I’m a rambler

    • @Yattayatta
      @Yattayatta 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You are forgetting something very important, in the human species, sexual selection is carried out by women almost exclusively. That means women can to a larger extent sit back and choose, men have to approach, this automatically creates situations where a man that is not socially adept will come off as a creep. I'm not saying one gender has it easier or harder, I'm saying you are only seeing this from one side, go make a dating profile on a dating site, name yourself Kevin Smith, put in your work profile that you work some normal blue collar job, take some average picture of a guy (ask for consent) and see how well you do, you won't do very well, and you wont' be contacted, you will have to start messaging women to get any response, soon you will find out that the competition is fierce.
      Again, I'm not saying men have a harder time, women have to deal with their own set of problems, like men posing as looking for long term things while they are not, or posing as someone with means to care for them, presenting false facades and the list goes on. All I'm saying is, look at it from both sides and you'll figure out why some guys come off as creepy.

    • @saloni9006
      @saloni9006 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Yattayatta the literal history of men being the pursuers is men being the autonomous pursuers of their desires, women were property they could (still can in many cultures) literally bid on, women weren’t allowed the authority of rejection - the perspective of women not “having to do the work” is a very contemporary dynamic that grew from women acquiring autonomy and a say in who they go to, which was achieved through hard and painful work. I agree that now women don’t have to pursue! But women get pursued whether or not they want to be pursued and that’s actually why most guys that come off as creepy come off as creepy. Women that are looking to be pursued are not inherently uncomfortable with male attention.
      And the reason why men are usually pursuers is because patriarchy gave them that role, and until VERY recently it was a role of extreme privilege. Also why, in the past and in many cultures today, women that aren’t attached to respectable male figures like fathers and husbands are so vulnerable, because men looking to pursue women traditionally ask for the woman from the male authority that governs her, in an absence of one, many male pursuers feel entitled to taking Willy nilly. I grew up without a father in a culture that values male authority and felt extremely vulnerable, in fact, many middle aged men felt entitled to touching and stroking me in pretense of fatherly replacement at his literal funeral. In any case, my discussions are general evaluations of gendered social roles and not prosecutions of men, when I say men I am usually referring to male cultural roles as opposed to men as people. Men as people can be perfectly innocent, obviously, my concerns lie with the context of their cultural roles.
      First wave feminism was just 40-50 years ago, that too heavily rejected and challenged, that too only in the West. Women today STILL struggle with having the authority to reject someone, and still get murdered for doing just that. Average men on dating apps having to be more active pursuers against each other isn’t comparable. That’s also more about conventional attractiveness, the same men will also not pursue and feel less inclined to respond to women they’re not attracted to - and that’s perfectly fine. It’s a privileged, natural, exchange, and men (cultural role) just aren’t used to (historically) having to invest much into acquiring a woman, so they’re not (institutionally) groomed to know how to best handle women having choices. Don’t forget women had to (and still do) fit their entire lives and personality into becoming the most ideal prized horse for men to want to take because our entire purpose was to appeal to a suitable husband. Most got married off as children to much older men. I think men can handle having to message extra people. It all stems from the same system, and female autonomy is still new, so eventually they’ll figure out that having to invest energy into being appealing to a woman is absolutely appropriate, as opposed to a burden.

    • @Yattayatta
      @Yattayatta 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@saloni9006 Had a long reply typed out for you but my web browser decided it was not to be.
      I don't have the energy to type it all again, but the short version is, 2% of men might've had it good throughout history, don't put that on the 98%, in fact disposable males have been a fact throughout history, both working the hardest slave labor, the most dangerous jobs (Check out work place mortality for males and females any year you want example) and military.
      Arranged marriage is arranged for both parties, you don't go picking a child bride you want to marry in any western culture, you simply get told as a man as well. I realize middle eastern cultures are sometimes different here, but I don't know to what extent as I've only lived in north Africa for a few months.
      Also men absolutely hate other men taking liberties with women, if you are touched in public, call out and any man with a spine will come to your defense.

  • @saloni9006
    @saloni9006 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    my mother (with a lot of adoration and respect I mention she’s a developing world country/ formal colony citizen without formal tertiary education) was scared of getting vaccinated because of its symptoms and after effects and she still got it without needing anyone to explain to her that it may give her a fever for 24 hours but it’s still necessary because it’s very simple and does not require elegant thought 😭

  • @purityiseverything99
    @purityiseverything99 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    not dirty sex, Dr. Honda 🤦🏾‍♀️😩😂

  • @TonyIgnatova
    @TonyIgnatova 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    What a bunch of wonderful topics to start the week!

  • @saloni9006
    @saloni9006 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I don’t think dreams take YOUR consent in your fantasy casting, fantasising about a friend usually catches people very off guard, I think most of the problem with that is being taught dreams mean something, and people often mistaking that for an active attraction to that real person as opposed to your brain trying to cater to YOUR sexuality and its needs with its limited resources and simply casting familiar models, which I feel like is often the case? Maybe I’ve got it very wrong but I’m pretty sure most fantasies I’ve had and those that people around me have been open ish about having about me have been simple projection of a developing sexuality on local inspiration

  • @saloni9006
    @saloni9006 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    ok so they were on a break but Ross jumped from prosecuting her for another guy’s perceived interest in her, which she did not host, to actually going and immediately fucking someone, and Ross was just a self sympathetic and entitled douche and idc about technicalities I don’t like him, the worst part of it was emotionally he KNEW immediately he did something bad but instead of genuinely repenting he screamed WE WERE ON A BREAK in her face for the rest of the show

  • @saloni9006
    @saloni9006 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I think sexual fantasy is very different than active objectification, exploring your own sexuality with the idea of others (or pursuing it consensually) isn’t wrong (I don’t think) but consciously sexualising a real person’s body to get off obviously is. It’s not even that the first requires you to have feelings for someone, I think it’s still about your own sexuality, as in do you explore sexuality in a healthy way where you engage in a mutual exchange of desires, or do you use people to get off without adequate respect to their desires? I think that’s again why women’s fantasies are less intimidating than men’s, because men’s cultural roles and institutional history aligns them more with the latter

  • @kristenfairchild8747
    @kristenfairchild8747 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I was bicycling for exercise in my neighborhood years ago, and one of those trucks that modified their vehicle to roll smoke was behind me. I inconvenienced this person by making them have to drive around me, so he purposefully made it blow that dark smoke out onto me. I was so angry. I went home crying and i grabbed mayo and eggs out of my fridge and drove around looking for this truck. I couldn't find them thankfully.

    • @hcaballero1992
      @hcaballero1992 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Just carry pocket rocks next time

  • @rabbitwho
    @rabbitwho 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    To the person who thinks their workmate gave them covid: don't forget you can still get it while vaccinated and while being cautious. What if you live with someone who has to work a job where they can't socially distance? And don't forget the pfizer might reduce hospitalization by 90% with the delta variant, but it doesn't reduce transmission by quite that much, though the numbers aren't clear yet
    you can also just get really unlucky, even with the original covid, which was way way less transmissible than the alpha and delta variants, you could still occasionally catch it just from going to the grocery store, though it was rare

  • @marionaoliver4055
    @marionaoliver4055 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hey Kirk, what do you mean that usually one doesnt get covid if you are careful?? We got it and we dont even know where from! And we were extra careful... and we were vaccinated first round as well

  • @lavenderrose786
    @lavenderrose786 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    You 2 guys are the Best....

  • @MelanitaVilla
    @MelanitaVilla 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I totally agree with what Berto is saying about fantasizing. It's important to clear it up in our head and address it when it becomes obsessive and stop it from going there. It can absolutely be damaging to you and your partner if either you or your partner allow it to go there. It's funny because it actually lines up with what the Bible says about lust and self-control!

  • @lagomorph770
    @lagomorph770 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    The woman having an increase in her libido all of a sudden should get checked out by a physician, she might have something that is changing her hormones.

  • @nicky132
    @nicky132 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Kirk and Humberto, if there was a fantasy consent database, would your names be there? I think many listeners need this information 🤭

    • @rabbitwho
      @rabbitwho 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Berto has granted us consent but Dr. Kirk has not. In any fantasies involving Dr. Kirk his face must be blurred.

    • @phonuz
      @phonuz 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@rabbitwho lol

  • @saloni9006
    @saloni9006 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    sex is only dirty to people with repressed sexualities that project and prosecute outside themselves, I swear middle aged swingers are the happiest people on earth

    • @saloni9006
      @saloni9006 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      also related to patriarchal victim blaming, notions of virtue, etc, sex is ‘dirty’ because male cultural roles are indulgent in a toxic and often abusive way and repressed women are some of the most condemnful creatures ever and everyone is divorced from autonomous exploration

    • @Amicitia-
      @Amicitia- 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sex and sexuality in our modern society is absolutely "dirty" and immoral by most human standards.

  • @hannahneeley5810
    @hannahneeley5810 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I love all your videos but This was very hard for me to get though the part of your partner thinking off someone else in bed. Now I can’t stop thinking if my husband does 🙁

    • @ambycarr1695
      @ambycarr1695 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Exactly I understand it maybe common but me, myself I have NEVER fantasized about another person while in bed with my partner. That just seems cruel to me and it doesn’t even cross my mind. Maybe because I’m just so infatuated with my partner and I find everything about them attractive even after all these years.

    • @EchelonBizarre
      @EchelonBizarre 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Same. I think, just because many do it, doesn't mean it's right. With many things in life. I feel like, when you swore into a commited, faithful relationship, that means not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally as well. Like, really sit with the thought - why would you fantasize about someone else, when you are with the person you are with? Especially during intimate times? It seems like red flags. Logically you'd think that being with and fantasizing about your partner and your partner only, you'd fantasize about them only, because that's the person you chose, otherwise, what'sthe point. It would hurt my feelings knowing my partner fantazises about someone else. Why the heck are you even with me then if I'm not 'your fantasy worthy'? That's just doesn't make sense.

    • @Amicitia-
      @Amicitia- 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      If he watches p*rn regularly he 100% does this
      Edit: Don't want to sound condescending btw I'm sorry you and others have to even worry about this in the first place

    • @helenah9192
      @helenah9192 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I am scared to listen to it now because I am an overthinker and I would hate that thought as well:(((((( how was it

    • @helenah9192
      @helenah9192 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@EchelonBizarre Def agree with this

  • @jessicalink5483
    @jessicalink5483 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    It's so interesting to hear your take on this. I almost majored in psych in college but ended up switching after multiple issues with professors. One professor thought that if you liked anything in bed other than straight vanilla you were messed up. They thought those people needed extensive therapy to fix themselves😒

  • @GabriellaLascano
    @GabriellaLascano 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Yay

  • @eyleenvargas
    @eyleenvargas 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    HI! What is the name of the movement of pollution?

    • @666NB666
      @666NB666 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      coal roller

  • @chloenewnam5044
    @chloenewnam5044 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    You should react to the documentary on Amazon Prime called “The Sunshine Hotel” It’s a slice of life film that won awards and I’m sure you’d have a lot to say about it.

  • @Amicitia-
    @Amicitia- 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "Science denier" is an elitist term.

    • @jboyox6675
      @jboyox6675 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      No it’s not

    • @Amicitia-
      @Amicitia- 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@jboyox6675 ?

  • @diversity_now
    @diversity_now 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I'm sorry but what a stupid nonsense. This makes me really really angry. I caught Covid in March in Germany despite being super careful. I didn't meet up with anyone for months. I only went to a doctors appointment and used public transport and apparently that was enough. And I had my roommate yell at me for that and it was insanely stressful. You saying that this person should just "allow their anger" is so disrespectful because it clearly comes from a place of judgment you have yourself. This, altogether with the biphobia and these honestly strange ideas that having fantasies is equates violating someone is enough for me to de-patronize.

    • @Amicitia-
      @Amicitia- 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Most psychology-adjacent people have this condescending holier than thou attitude towards the general public. Your instincts are correct here
      Edit: I'm sorry you caught covid and also got yelled at for no reason. With these unpredictable circumstances you can do everything right and still fall victim to it

  • @elenap.3787
    @elenap.3787 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You have childish arguments against what you call science deniers. Science has not reached a consensus on the issue of vaccines and there are scientists who proved that existing vaccines are unfortunately not the solution. So the question is rather: which science do you choose to believe? From a political viewpoint we live historic times, you seem not to be willing to see that. Read some Hannah Arendt.

    • @janeryan2709
      @janeryan2709 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      There is a consensus on the issue of vaccines, WTF are you talking about?