As a 37 year old single mother of an 8 year old daughter and 10 year old son, I was getting licensed as a foster mom. Before my license was even approved, I received a call for a 6 week old baby girl and her 12 month old sister. I said yes, because I'm crazy! They were with us for 23 months. When their baby brother was born in April 2020, the height of COVID, we picked him up from the hospital. He was with us 7 months. They're all adopted together by an extended family member. All that to say, you have no idea what you can handle until it's handed to you. I had 5 kids at home full time: newborn, 1, 2, 9, and 11 and me working from home full time. I often ask myself how I survived it, but I did!
When we got a baby from the hospital we took pictures and kept a baby book for the future adoptive parents with all the milestones they will miss. They really appreciated getting those and one reached out to us through the placement group we worked with after she became an adult and we still stay in touch 20 yrs later.
Hey, thanks for being vulnerable you guys. When Cole said “ it’s not the bio kids I want, I want to be a parent” I started crying… I’m adopted at birth. I have always compared myself to a biological child from my adoptive parents… a child that cannot exist. Thanks for making me realize it wasn’t about biological, even though my mom’s heart broke from miscarriages. It was about being a parent. My parents have given me something they never had, and I’m forever grateful.
When we adopted my brother, we were sat down and told "after today, he's your brother. He is OUR child and your brother, period. There's no references to being adopted or not belonging. He belongs as much as you do". He was told he was adopted and that we all chose him to be in our family. A 5lb preemie to now my 54 yr old baby brother. No one ever mentioned his adoption issues until he wanted details. I'm glad you got great parents. I bet they're eternally grateful for you❤
@@julesmisty What a beautiful story. My first cousin was adopted but I never think of her that way. I know that her mother would move heaven and earth for her.
Congratulations you guys! Becoming foster parents was the best decision we ever made and led us to adopting our daughter 💕It's an emotional process but is so worth it and you're going to be incredible parents! If you ever have any questions or just need to talk, feel free to reach out to us! Sending you so much love!
Yeah and they grow up and aren't even thankful for being adopted, look at the statistics, only few of adopted kids actually appreciate the adoptive parents
Every time a man apologizes for crying I just feel so bad. I hate how society doesn’t let men have feelings; they’re perfectly human and if anything seeing my man cry would make me love him more. Never be afraid to say or show how you feel!
Sadly it’s mainly other men that push that on other men I think women have always welcomed seeing a man be emotional imo. It does suck tho they have feelings too.
Excited to see your journey! My husband is a T-3 paraplegic. Our famous last words, “we just want to be certified for one.” Before we were officially certified, we were presented with a sibling set of 3. We took a few days and said yes. Six months later we added their sister. Now we have adopted the 4 siblings! Ages started out as 18 months, 2 years, 9 years and 11 years old. Thankfully we were never discriminated against. Honestly the kids having a full time male figure was a complete GAME CHANGER for them. (I will say we are in Idaho though….know nothing about CA). Total time 2.5 years fostering and have officially adopted our kiddos for 2 years now.
I worked in a labor and delivery unit in a hospital in a low income area. We had babies that needed foster support when parents needed a chance to get themselves help and support to get their child back home. Reunification is a powerful blessing for the child and the parents. ❤. You both will be fantastic foster parents.
Sorry to sound ignorant but does fostering kids mean that they’ll eventually go back to their birth mother or will they get adopted by Cole & Charisma? I think I’m confused by the terminology.
@@ItsJanesta They are saying they are temporarily taking care of the kid until the kid gets either adopted or placed back with their bio parents. I don't think they'll adopt unless they decide to. I hope this helps. I'm also not trying to sound ignorant.
@@tyashiaslife9109 N @ItsJanesta I WAS WONDERING THE SAME QUESTION TOO BUT I DIDN'T ASK CAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA SOUND STUPID FOR ASKING BUT UNTIL THIS COMMENT I WAS GONNA GOOGLE THE ANSWER BEFORE I CHECKED TO SEE WHO WILL ASK THE SAME QUESTIONS THAT WE DID LET ALONE MORE QUESTIONS THAT WE DON'T KNOW IN GENERAL
@@ItsJanesta the hope for all fostered children is reunification with the parents. The permanent adoption is a decision of the foster parents and a process of first trying to reunite the children or child with their parents first. The process of the child being adopted can be long in the foster care process.
As an educator, the hard part of dealing with children who have trauma is that they are not always receptive to your love. They lose the ability to trust. Keep that in mind. I wish you well.
I “aged out “ of the California foster care system at 18. You have no idea how perfect you both are for being foster parents. Foster children are going to be winning the lottery living with you. Unfortunately I think you will be amazed by the amount of complex trauma you see. I’m excited for you both& the future kids you impact. ❤
I agree that your intentions are noble. When people say, "Protect your heart", don't dismiss it. Its not just the loss of kids that you've grown attached to, its also the system itself. You will want to burn the system down when you get into it. You will be joyful and angry all in the same day sometimes. Protect your heart. The idea of being supportive to the parent is a noble one, but not always possible. I've witnessed fellow foster parents get in trouble for connecting with bio parents of their foster kids in attempts to "support" the family better than child services. Remember, the kids were taken for a reason. No matter what story you're told, you don't know all the pieces so stay curious and non judgmental, even of child services. I fostered with a third-party organization and would recommend that to anyone. Having that extra layer of fellow foster parents to call on and support each other is important. Our organization gathered the parents together once a month so we got to know each other. I allowed us to support and offer respite to each other when needed with people you know are trained and are in the same context with you. It also means that if your child has to move (for whatever reasons...one of my kids had a 30 minute notice because of an error made in the court case with the type of home the kid could be allowed in by the courts), he still got to see his former foster parents because he had already made a connection with them and the separation wasn't so traumatic on him with the traumatic move. My biggest thing I learned was...KNOW YOUR LIMITS. You're not a bad person when you tell a case worker that you cannot take a child because of one of the factors in their case (e.g., enuresis and encopresis. YES Its real and may be tied to their trauma, pyromaniac tendencies). Don't forget that child services is charged to find children who are taken away a home. They won't always tell you everything for different reasons and what they tell may only be part of what they know or has been alleged. I enjoyed being a foster parent for 4 years and wonder if I will do it again when my bio kids get older. I was a single parent who fostered boys and mostly boys with known challenges (emotional or medically fragile). I still am connected to "my" two boys and many other boys who came through my home. I'm praying for y'all and excited to see how you all navigate this next part of your journey!
The fact that Cole felt vulnerable enough to cry on camera and express his love for charisma is so amazing. I hope their family grows and they can share that love with a child(ren) ❤❤❤
This made my heart so happy to see. When I was 15 I had my first son. When he was 13 months the dr told me because I wasn’t living with my parents and my sons weight was considered failure to thrive, he had to call Children Services ( this was in Lancaster ). Luckily because I was underage they took us both. We went to a foster home for a few months and ended up in a bad situation but then ended up in a maternity home in Los Angeles called St Anne’s. It ended up being a wonderful experience and after 3 years they gave up on him gaining weight and realized there was nothing I was doing and he didn’t gain weight. He’s now 29, is 5 ft 9 and weighs 113. I am really grateful for the experiences I had especially all of parenting classes. I was really hoping you guys would foster so seeing this video just made my day. Thank you
While I know it's sometimes best for a child to be given up for adoption, I admire you for keeping your firstborn. I'm glad you both ultimately got the support you needed.
As an adopted former foster child, Thank You for recognizing that the journey to parenthood by adoption/foster and biological children are different journeys. Not better. Not worse. Different. Thank you for giving yourselves time and permission to be honest about your emotions, wants, and motives. That work on your parts could prevent so much pain for future children in your home. I know many of us were made to feel like substitute solutions, or plan B. I think you both will be wonderful parents in whatever capacity comes your way.
@@douxhealth-beauty3196 I get that. I have used the word accessory myself in relation to my adoption. My adoptive mom didnt want to actually BE a mom. She just wanted to be perceived as a mom. She reminded me at every possible moment that I failed to meet the expectations in the role of her daughter.
Congratulations, you two! Fostering has been the greatest joy of our life for the past 4 years. We’ve been certified twice and, 4 days after being re-certified in a new state, got the call for a newborn baby boy. Almost 11 months later and our sweet boy is still with us and is the joy of our lives. We have experienced the very heights of joy and the very depths of despair along the wild ride of fostering. It is so worth it, because these kids are worth it. The best piece of wisdom we’ve gathered is that it is our responsibility to do the hard things so that the kids don’t have to. We can handle the grief of loss in fostering - it’s our job to shoulder that so that these kids can be spared as much trauma and pain as possible. Praying for you two as you enter into this amazing ministry!
I love the raw honesty of Cole's emotions. You both have so much love to give and I think this is just such a beautiful beginning to the journey you have ahead.
I am raising thee of my grandchildren. The first 2 came home from the hospital with me-however, the third was in a state that handled things very differently. It took me 5 LONG and very scary months to get my grandchild home. My grandbaby was with 2 foster families after leaving the NICU-and I will be thankful to them for the rest of my life. These families loved on my grandbaby like she was their own. They communicated with me daily-sending pictures, text and videos. The answered my questions and concerns about her and doctor's appointments etc...My youngest grand is now going on two years old, and I continue to update those foster families on how she is and send pictures regularly. They were her first families-who kept her safe and loved while I fought for her to come home. You are doing valuable, selfless, and rewarding work. Thank you so much!
I have not been in your situation, and I have nine grandchildren, and I know I would’ve done anything to help protect and raise them. Kudos to you for having such an open heart.
What exciting news! I've worked as a county Children & Youth caseworker, and a foster care caseworker., in Pennsylvania . You both appear to be in a great mind set. The list of questions for a possible foster child is a wonderful idea. Congratulations
Bless you for taking in your grandchildren. I would do the same, but I know how hard it would be as I'm not 21 anymore! These two great people will make big changes in these kids lives, even if they don't know it now. Good foster families are needed everywhere. ❤
Our youth pastor and his wife decided to do foster before they had kids. The first placement was a brand new baby. A day later 2 siblings 4 and 6 came. They ended up adopting them and never had biological kids. Now they have 3 amazing kids. You just never know God's plans for you. Watching your channel I see two amazing loving people who will make great foster parents.
That’s amazing! I’m a licensed foster parent. Take it one day at a time, it’s very rewarding, and heartbreaking. Some families still allow you to be in their lives via updates. Congratulations
@@morganmaria6318 self explanatory! Meaning kids can be in your home for an extended period of time, then the judge decides to give them back, you keep in contact only to find out they should’ve never went back in the first place. I recently had a bonus child go back to her parents, her mom had 14 CPS cases previously, this baby was burned over 40% of her body due to her mom pouring scolding water on her.
when cole started crying “idk what happened” why is this me whenever i start crying 🤣 in all seriousness, this is so incredible of you guys. and also makes total sense as you are such lovely humans. so excited for this new chapter for y’all! 🥹🌷💫
My mother fostered children between 0 and 3 years old. Be prepared for some joy and pain during the foster care process. You're human and becoming attached is real. At the end she fostered two babies that were hours old. And those two knuckleheads will be turning 30 in a few years. I will always remember the joy we went through during their adoption process. Congratulations!!
I don’t know if you are continuing fertility treatments, but here is my story: after trying for a second child we tried IVF and the specialist said my eggs were damaged and gone. We signed up to be foster parents and also decided to do adult date nights-we signed up for a celebrity lecture series, a music concert series, and ballroom dancing! You know what’s coming next! Naturally conceived pregnancy. Of course it was the dancing!!!
Yeah, i really feel these beautiful people are kind of in a hurry, i love the idea of fostering but wonder if they dont need to be together for a longer time. Age is still very much on their side. I Maybe wrong but i wish they'll just chill and play for somtime bfore getting into advance parenting.
My husband and were foster parents for 3 years from 2010 to 2013 until we adopted our daughter from birth in February of 2013. The ages of 0-3 years old (this was the age group my husband and I also had) it the hardest age group in my opinion because who doesn’t fall in love with a baby you will get attached however the placements we had just needed a helping hand for the parents ,we found that we provided mentors-ship mostly so that the child could reunify with family sometimes that wasn’t necessary mean the birth parents! Comments like the above are so lame, I already know you guys are rock stars at filtering out the negative! Charisma my husband is paraplegic and we were also concerned about how we would be accepted but we were welcome with open arms it was the most rewarding decision my husband and I made to this day! God bless you and Cole I’m praying for you and your new journey may it be filling and rewarding❤️.
That happens so much! The stress and pressure from trying to become pregnant affects fertility so much. That’s why there is so many cases when someone used a surrogate to conceive and after the surrogate gets pregnant, the intended mom also gets pregnant 😅
As a former foster parent, you are not prepared for the heart ache/break but you will survive it. Give your self time to grieve as needed and have a good support group to join. Support is needed and should be with other foster parents that will understand your feelings and judge you less. I would not trade the years we fostered for anything because of our beautiful babies we adopted. I’m so happy you all are on this journey 🙏
I knew this was the announcement!!! I just had a feeling. I just closed our home as we were foster to adopt parents since 2015 and we’ve adopted five over that span of time. You’re going to be awesome parents.
You guys are great for this!!!! Perfect Only because you asked for advice… As someone who was fostered almost two years through an unofficial process, I very much appreciated the couple I chose to label as my God-parents. I also had wonderful visits with my sweet mother and siblings until I moved back home. My mother was so appreciative of the pastors who opened their home to me and spoke of them highly. Yet, despite positive and structured visits, I would cry when I returned to the foster home after my family visitation. My unusual emotional behavior led to my God-parents assuming the family visits were detrimental. They almost stopped them, thinking they were protecting me. Point is: even the most well-behaved children in the best foster home and with the best family visitation possible may struggle when they return to your home away from their bio/first family despite appreciating you and despite having a heathy home/family visit. Those visits are still important, and you are still needed/ and likely appreciated.
I can understand his emotions! He sees your giving heart and he know how good you are to him and seeing you want to give more love to a needed child. He said he want to be like you which says a lot! I know this will be a blessed home for the child.
Something from my experience I have noticed kids in foster care, you can’t show them online. So just a reminder to people that they might be able to talk about their experiences but won’t have any foster kids in their videos. This is an amazing thing you are doing ❤
Congratulations, it's an emotional roller coaster. Never apologize for that. My sister is a foster parent. She received an eighteen month little girl at one in the morning. She received four pampers and one sneaker. She is turning six in June and is finally up for adoption. Parental rights have been terminated.
Foster/ adoptive mom here! What a joy it has been for my life. We have adopted 4 kids and one is disabled and uses a wheelchair and that's why I started following y'all! Full circle! Best wishes!
remember all kids deserve to be loved, when I was younger, my family ended up fostering 4 kids, 2 of them we adopted, and 1 we kept until she aged out, but we just excepted her as a blood sister. patients is the key. trying to understand their needs.
I am very excited for you. I am a foster parent. My biggest suggestion is find a group of other foster parents that you can talk too. I love it, however their is a lot of frustration with the system! Have a therapist you can do grief work if you have a child that either goes home or is placed else where. I think you guys will be great!
As a family that fostered for 13 years, this is so awesome! I can tell you that these sweet kids are going to bring your life so much joy and you will be blessed by them just as much has you will be a blessing to them. We adopted 3 of our many foster babies we had. No it is not easy and there will be many hard days, but this will be the best journey you are about to begin! Congratulations!!
I’m so glad you are becoming foster parents and realized that you wanted to become parents without the need to be bio parents. As an adoptee, I’m grateful that Cole, especially, has been able to open his mind to this option of family. I am sorry about your IVF challenges. I see you are in the perfect situation to live on the child(ren) that are placed in your home. My parents fostered over 40+ children in my first 15 years of life. I’m in an interesting way have been reunited with one recently after 35+ years. He was a foster brother with his two younger siblings. I remember how our family grew by three in an instant, but my parents wanted to make sure they stayed together. Since we were small people we could squeeze an infant and two children under 7 in our small home. I’m delighted of who my parents are who raised me and were pioneering adopting outside of race. Thank you for this episode. I love learning from you both!
This has moved me to tears…….And Cole, like I’ve always taught my sons….showing emotions through tears is a “manly” -- human thing. It has moved me because , so many children could be loved and cared for through fostering…… You both will be such wonderful parents and will help many children….specially children who really need what you both have to offer….(Our Canadian system is similar to yours) Our family spent 14 years, fostered over 40 children , and adopted 2 through the system….No regrets……I Plan to write about the Blessings, and will always encourage and introduce others to do …… One of the great Blessings, is how this experience has helped our naturally born children (3 boys) to become great husbands and fathers…..setting a great example for their youngest brother…….(who came to us at 2 days old)…….Our only daughter came at 4 years old…They’re now early thirties, late twenties respectively….. YOU HAVE DONE WELL……You will be guided and greatly Blessed by the Lord….
I have been a foster mama for over 20 yrs. If there is one thing I could tell you keep a life book on the child like name caseworker when the child came and left and who they went with pic's of 1st and last day.This book is just for you.
as a public defender who represents so many parents working hard to get their kids back home, i really admire how much you respect the goal of reunification. yall rock and will flourish. thank you for what you are doing.
As a person who was a foster child from the age of three, one piece of advice I can give you guys is: just be there and listen. It doesn't take much to make a child feel loved and safe. Being truly present and listening to what they have to say is so important, since a lot times those children will feel like they have no voice and what they have to say is not important. I have so much respect for you guys' bravery to enter a path that is most likely going to result in the occasional heartbreak, but please don't forget the immense impact you are going to have on those children through everything you will provide, be it the food, the company, the laughter and all the love...they will be forever thankful! ❤
I did foster care for 6yrs 0-5yr but had an 8yr one time. I had kids already so I was just being cautious about bringing in older kids. I took tons of pics of the kids and printed them for the parents. I had kids 24 hours to almost 2 years at times. I got planned placement,surprise pick up from a hospital, re-placed in my home..etc. They were all treated as if they were our own. (I hate hearing the stories of the mistreatment some fc kids experience!) My bio got Nike, fc got Nike, bio got a special lunch, fc got a special lunch..etc. We were very blessed that our families took them in as if they had been there all along. Family birthday's, Christmas, Easter all the stuff that comes along with it was the same no matter what. I actually had contact with a few parents. I actually have contact many many years later with one of them. I see them thriving and I love it! For all involved! There are so many kids that need a safe space until they can go home, get adopted or whatever is meant to be for them. (I'm hearing you talk about how many right now and I thought one at a time (since I had 2) but I usually had 2 extra kiddos. I did take on 3 once. I was a stay at home mom and my husband worked. I stayed busy.. Lol Keeping up with visits, appointments, home visits, child-parent preschool, sports... I heard so many people say that a lot of people do it for money but they make sure you are stable before you go into it so I was confused. Not to mention I was paid 575 a month (back then) for a child which went to diapers, formula/food, clothes, necessities even a semi private preschool. I didn't use resources like WIC or EBT. They were offered. It's just a lot to sign up for and maintain with kids coming and going. Their needs were met out of what I was paid. I didn't 'make money' off of the kids. It's sad that some have been known to do that.😕 I love that you're thinking ahead about what you can and can not do before taking a kiddo in. 🤍 It would be hard on them to have to move again right away.
As an infertility patient who was unable to have a child, who with my husband became an adoptive parent, I am so excited for you guys! When your heart and home feels empty because you have this strong desire for children, life can be very unfulfilled. I could not have been a foster parent because the heartbreak of losing a child was more than I could bear emotionally. I am sure you will be wonderful parents because you have so much love to give. Best of luck and all God's blessings on your journey!
Any child placed in your care will be so fortunate to have such kind people showering them with love. Wishing you the very best on your new life adventure.
This makes me joyous!!! I was a foster care social worker for over a decade and so many foster care youth are in need of safe, stable, nurturing homes ❤❤❤❤ thank you!
My aunt and uncle fostered 6 siblings but ended up adopting all of them. The children all went through a lot of traumatic experiences and it has been hard to help them through processing and coping with their trauma but after 6 years they are all thriving. Being able for provide them a safe and loving home was the most important motivation for fostering. Seeing a 5 year old running around the house, being so excited to have his own bed, toys, food to eat is so emotional to witness. It’s so nice to see more and more people open to fostering, to protect and love children is amazing to see, so thank you ❤ You’re both going to be amazing parents ❤
I'm so excited for you both. As a person going through infertility we my husband and I thought about fostering and how it is important to understand that the main goal of fostering is reunification. But I love the fact that the want to help a child in need and using your pain and turning it into your purpose is beautiful in itself. You guys are inspirational.
We started out as foster parents with the goal of reunification. Life being the way it is, reunification didn't end up being possible, and there were no kinship placements, so 2.5 years after having our child with us as a foster child, we were able to adopt her! We struggled with infertility as well, but decided to go straight to adoption for our second child. Like you two, we wanted to be parents (again) more than we needed a biological connection with a child. We ended up getting pregnant while in the process of adopting our second child! You both will be fantastic foster/resource parents, and I know due to privacy of the child and bio family you won't be able to share too much information with us, and that's okay. Praying for you on this journey - it's such a fulfilling ride ❤
I was so privileged to have you share this with me last week Friday. It will not be easy but it can be rewarding and you two are very good people for it.
Not only are you a beautiful couple, but you have a beautiful spirit too.... you will learn so so much. Big hug for this new adventure of a lifetime ❤😊
Aw. My Heart. YAY!! My heart is so happy for Y'all, & also for the kids who have Y'all as parents. I know You both will make Awesome Parents to every child who walks through your door, that's filled with so much UNCONDIONAL LOVE. You, & the children will be so blessed to have each other. We're so happy for Y'all. So a BIG CONGRATULATIONS to Y'all!! I can already feel the UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, & JOY!! 🥰🤗😍💜💜
This is going to be a very big, hard, emotional but for sure beautiful and healing journey for the both of you. I can't imagine whishing better role-models and foster parents for the kids that will be in your care.
So happy for you! One area that I took up to study human behavior was working as a volunteer at a Crisis Nursery. A good place to go and spend the day with a child that has been dropped off suddenly and who’s crying uncontrollably and constant, and hasn’t learned to soothe itself- suck it’s finger(s), which is critical to do for ever how long, or who doesn’t have it’s favorite stuffy animal or blanky. Having a collection of stuffies or small blankies that can become theirs when they leave would be giving the child a part of you to take, and be a momento. The child can even participate in the creating the soothing object. So, while you’re waiting for the child/ren, consider a reasonably priced sewing machine (or hand sew), a bit of cozy fabric cuts in a square, and be able to direct the child to their cozy when they get stressed and screaming for you to discipline them the old way their parent had been doing - that at this point may not have been the best. Another is a hand puppet can be easy to create to sort out emotions with, despite the age. They can even go get the cozy/puppet in the room for processing the pain (taking part)! We as humans soon forget it’s a puppet and hone in on the creature who’s comforting. So loving is the exchange. Having survived abuse myself, has helped me help others in these ways - learning right away that the world is their oyster to design it the way they choose. God bless your pathway. Sharon.
So excited you're becoming resource parents. I'm a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) who supports children who have been removed from their birth parents and placed in resource homes and have seen firsthand what a difference a loving, safe and stable home can make for children who have been through trauma. Thank you for doing this and for making this video to raise awareness.
It takes very strong and committed people to be foster parents. I have extreme faith that you two will be perfect. You are both so caring; for me the hardest part would be giving them up, I would be heartbroken. Looking forward to seeing your foster child/children. Stay safe you two.
WOW!! .... Absolutely And Unequivicolly Super Happy To Hear This Fantastic News!! ... YAY!!! .. This Is Such A Momentous Time In Your Beautiful Life!! ... You Two Will Be The Very Best Foster Parents Ever!! .. BRAVO!! ... Cannot Wait To Hear More Uplifting News. .. God Bless You Both!! ... So Much Love Coming Your Way!! .. CC❤❤❤
Guys I am so happy for you all. We were foster parents for 5-7 years and we adopted one child along with already having 3 kids. Two more we had in permanent custody for 14 years. It’s a blessing to open up your hearts to except these children. We wasn’t going to adopt until this little girl came to us and the social worker said she didn’t have anyone she told us to please pray about it and today that little girl is 27 years old with two babyboys when we opened our home and hearts we helped to save this child’s life and so will you I am so happy for you guys🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️❤️also our little girl we adopted she has spastic cp and other health problems it was difficult but God bought us through it and he will do the same for you guys ❤
My husband and I Fostered for 8 years and Adopted 2 boys, one infant and one toddler which are now ages 22 and 20 . I am so happy that you are welcoming Foster Children into your lives ! I definitely will be in Prayer for you both , it is one of the most beautiful, yet challenging journeys you may ever go through. Days full of joy and days full of heart ache. But I think you will both be a blessing in the lives of many children, as they will be to you! Hugs... You've got this! ❤
Our family has done foster care for years and have several adopted now. I applaud you all and you will be such great foster parents! Foster parenting can be beautiful, heart-breaking, infuriating, and so rewarding. More importantly than anything, I wish you good case workers, supervisors, and judges. It makes all the difference, and it's so rare to have all three working for the best interest of the child. God bless you all! ❤
My Mom was a foster parent for 20+ years. Never let a parent know where you live, set boundaries for parents, and you'll be good. The reason I suggest setting boundaries. Some parents will show up late and expect you guys to be there, some will call at all hours of the night. Getting an older child can be challenging, some of them know how to work the system. Being a foster parent is one of the greatest gifts you can give a child in need. The first couple of months will be hard, but once you get into how it works you'll be just fine. You'll get attached and it can be challenging. Watching the love you both have for each other I know you'll be great parents Watching the channel gives me hope for my future. Allowing us to see what everyday life is like is amazing. Keep up the great work, and many blessings to the both of you.
Congratulations! This is something you two are perfect for by just being the people you are. The coolest thing is, you have documented your life & exactly who you two are as a couple for over 5 years right here on TH-cam. Anyone can watch from day one or any random video & they will see how you & your whole families have been & just grown stronger over the years. No rude surprises, or scandals will be found. That's big! Many of us have done something we are not too proud of or had some family drama in the same 5 years span yours has been an open book. Maybe it would have no problems as to fostering kids, but that is nothing you two need to worry about. You really do come from great families & have had great childhoods, that definitely gives you a good start on parenting. Pretty sure you even talked about not having your own children shown on the channel content. Lots of people do show their kids but a lot do not. I'm very glad you are in the WILL NOT group.
Y’all got me crying over here. What an honorable decision and journey to embark on. That is something I have always wanted to do as well. Good for you both. I think Sofie will be happy about this too! Not to mention your whole loving extended family. Bless you both for wanting to provide a safe, loving home to someone in need. 🎉
these children are going to be so loved and shown that it is okay to show emotions. you two are such amazing people and congratulations, you both deserve the world! thank you for sharing your journey and please NEVER apologize for being true to yourselves and showing emotions. i'm sure so many people appreciate how genuine and open you both are
As someone who dealt with the child welfare system and continues to help others in the system at camp- this is amazing!! You all are the perfect couple to do so as well! Ensure you have a community around you that can assist with whatever it may be- bringing meals, respite care, donations, etc! Love you all!!
Wahooo!!! I loveeee this! I’m a social worker currently working in healthcare, but I spent several years working with kids and parents in child welfare and my absolute favourite thing was reunifying! It was always such a celebration! My favourite foster parents were the ones who were happy to be a forever parent to the kiddos but who were also able to prioritize the kiddos and know that it might be right for kiddos to go back to family and made a party of that too. Thank you for sharing your journey 💕
Congratulations!!🎊 It’s going to be very rewarding to you and a child. The room looks amazing . Everyone needs love and support on both ends. Both of you (hearts) are amazing and you will be amazing parents. You have all of our emotional support , positive energy and prayers . Blessings upon blessings are come your way
I had the honor of knowing a woman who, along with her husband, fostered well over 100 children. They adopted 5 girls at the end. Her stories inspired me and helped me understand how incredible it is to open your home and hearts to children who need a safe and loving home. You both will be blessings to any child who comes into your home.
Never apologize for showing emotion. It is important for good men to be role models for showing healthy emotions.
Cole have always should love and very loving man.
yes, agree
I agree 💯 it’s very human!
I absolutely agree!
Yeah my boyfriend is really sensitive and it's a beautiful thing that he shows emotion especially when he cares about my feelings
As a 37 year old single mother of an 8 year old daughter and 10 year old son, I was getting licensed as a foster mom. Before my license was even approved, I received a call for a 6 week old baby girl and her 12 month old sister. I said yes, because I'm crazy! They were with us for 23 months. When their baby brother was born in April 2020, the height of COVID, we picked him up from the hospital. He was with us 7 months. They're all adopted together by an extended family member. All that to say, you have no idea what you can handle until it's handed to you. I had 5 kids at home full time: newborn, 1, 2, 9, and 11 and me working from home full time. I often ask myself how I survived it, but I did!
In absolute awe. Wow! By the Grace of God 🙏💗 You're inspiring!! ❤
I'm so happy for both of you. Congratulations, I know you'll both be Awesome Foster Parents.
That is Awesome❤
I'm so happy for both of you and for the kids that will be with you guys congratulations
SUPER MOM❤
When we got a baby from the hospital we took pictures and kept a baby book for the future adoptive parents with all the milestones they will miss. They really appreciated getting those and one reached out to us through the placement group we worked with after she became an adult and we still stay in touch 20 yrs later.
Cole you are right don't give up on having your bio children
But it is so wonderful you and Charisma are sharing your home with a chid
❤
You are so good for and with each other!
Amazing
That’s what I missed I’m adopted and don’t have any new baby pictures 😢
Your marriage is the marriage that can teach the world
This!
Hey, thanks for being vulnerable you guys. When Cole said “ it’s not the bio kids I want, I want to be a parent” I started crying…
I’m adopted at birth. I have always compared myself to a biological child from my adoptive parents… a child that cannot exist. Thanks for making me realize it wasn’t about biological, even though my mom’s heart broke from miscarriages. It was about being a parent.
My parents have given me something they never had, and I’m forever grateful.
And I'm sure you gave them just as much as they gave you. ❤
@@zbagz01 thankyou🌈
@@jmodancer100 ❤😀
When we adopted my brother, we were sat down and told "after today, he's your brother. He is OUR child and your brother, period. There's no references to being adopted or not belonging. He belongs as much as you do". He was told he was adopted and that we all chose him to be in our family. A 5lb preemie to now my 54 yr old baby brother. No one ever mentioned his adoption issues until he wanted details. I'm glad you got great parents. I bet they're eternally grateful for you❤
@@julesmisty What a beautiful story. My first cousin was adopted but I never think of her that way. I know that her mother would move heaven and earth for her.
Congratulations you guys! Becoming foster parents was the best decision we ever made and led us to adopting our daughter 💕It's an emotional process but is so worth it and you're going to be incredible parents! If you ever have any questions or just need to talk, feel free to reach out to us! Sending you so much love!
My Schoeller family!😊❤️❤️
What age are you fostering?
Love your family and the adventures you share. You are truly a blessing.
Yeah and they grow up and aren't even thankful for being adopted, look at the statistics, only few of adopted kids actually appreciate the adoptive parents
@@corrinelemon5609 They have an adopted daughter; such a beautiful fun family! 💕 Check them out! ☺️
Every time a man apologizes for crying I just feel so bad. I hate how society doesn’t let men have feelings; they’re perfectly human and if anything seeing my man cry would make me love him more. Never be afraid to say or show how you feel!
My boyfriend is sensitive but I think it's a beautiful thing he's got a beautiful heart
Sadly it’s mainly other men that push that on other men I think women have always welcomed seeing a man be emotional imo. It does suck tho they have feelings too.
❤
Excited to see your journey! My husband is a T-3 paraplegic. Our famous last words, “we just want to be certified for one.” Before we were officially certified, we were presented with a sibling set of 3. We took a few days and said yes. Six months later we added their sister. Now we have adopted the 4 siblings! Ages started out as 18 months, 2 years, 9 years and 11 years old. Thankfully we were never discriminated against. Honestly the kids having a full time male figure was a complete GAME CHANGER for them. (I will say we are in Idaho though….know nothing about CA). Total time 2.5 years fostering and have officially adopted our kiddos for 2 years now.
I worked in a labor and delivery unit in a hospital in a low income area. We had babies that needed foster support when parents needed a chance to get themselves help and support to get their child back home. Reunification is a powerful blessing for the child and the parents. ❤. You both will be fantastic foster parents.
Sorry to sound ignorant but does fostering kids mean that they’ll eventually go back to their birth mother or will they get adopted by Cole & Charisma? I think I’m confused by the terminology.
@@ItsJanesta They are saying they are temporarily taking care of the kid until the kid gets either adopted or placed back with their bio parents. I don't think they'll adopt unless they decide to. I hope this helps. I'm also not trying to sound ignorant.
@@tyashiaslife9109 N @ItsJanesta I WAS WONDERING THE SAME QUESTION TOO BUT I DIDN'T ASK CAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA SOUND STUPID FOR ASKING BUT UNTIL THIS COMMENT I WAS GONNA GOOGLE THE ANSWER BEFORE I CHECKED TO SEE WHO WILL ASK THE SAME QUESTIONS THAT WE DID LET ALONE MORE QUESTIONS THAT WE DON'T KNOW IN GENERAL
@@ItsJanesta the hope for all fostered children is reunification with the parents. The permanent adoption is a decision of the foster parents and a process of first trying to reunite the children or child with their parents first. The process of the child being adopted can be long in the foster care process.
@KC-qi7gn No, you're good. It's okay to wonder about something. I just caught what they said.
As an educator, the hard part of dealing with children who have trauma is that they are not always receptive to your love. They lose the ability to trust. Keep that in mind. I wish you well.
I “aged out “ of the California foster care system at 18. You have no idea how perfect you both are for being foster parents. Foster children are going to be winning the lottery living with you. Unfortunately I think you will be amazed by the amount of complex trauma you see. I’m excited for you both& the future kids you impact. ❤
I hope you've been able to find love and community as an adult. You deserve it. 💛
Absolutely @@bbkix
Good luck to you. You are a special person. From Australia with love.
I agree that your intentions are noble. When people say, "Protect your heart", don't dismiss it. Its not just the loss of kids that you've grown attached to, its also the system itself. You will want to burn the system down when you get into it. You will be joyful and angry all in the same day sometimes. Protect your heart.
The idea of being supportive to the parent is a noble one, but not always possible. I've witnessed fellow foster parents get in trouble for connecting with bio parents of their foster kids in attempts to "support" the family better than child services. Remember, the kids were taken for a reason. No matter what story you're told, you don't know all the pieces so stay curious and non judgmental, even of child services.
I fostered with a third-party organization and would recommend that to anyone. Having that extra layer of fellow foster parents to call on and support each other is important. Our organization gathered the parents together once a month so we got to know each other. I allowed us to support and offer respite to each other when needed with people you know are trained and are in the same context with you. It also means that if your child has to move (for whatever reasons...one of my kids had a 30 minute notice because of an error made in the court case with the type of home the kid could be allowed in by the courts), he still got to see his former foster parents because he had already made a connection with them and the separation wasn't so traumatic on him with the traumatic move.
My biggest thing I learned was...KNOW YOUR LIMITS. You're not a bad person when you tell a case worker that you cannot take a child because of one of the factors in their case (e.g., enuresis and encopresis. YES Its real and may be tied to their trauma, pyromaniac tendencies).
Don't forget that child services is charged to find children who are taken away a home. They won't always tell you everything for different reasons and what they tell may only be part of what they know or has been alleged.
I enjoyed being a foster parent for 4 years and wonder if I will do it again when my bio kids get older. I was a single parent who fostered boys and mostly boys with known challenges (emotional or medically fragile). I still am connected to "my" two boys and many other boys who came through my home. I'm praying for y'all and excited to see how you all navigate this next part of your journey!
The fact that Cole felt vulnerable enough to cry on camera and express his love for charisma is so amazing. I hope their family grows and they can share that love with a child(ren) ❤❤❤
Cole knows Charisma 💯
Often fosters parents decide to adopt and then become pregnant
You are amazing people!
This made my heart so happy to see. When I was 15 I had my first son. When he was 13 months the dr told me because I wasn’t living with my parents and my sons weight was considered failure to thrive, he had to call Children Services ( this was in Lancaster ). Luckily because I was underage they took us both. We went to a foster home for a few months and ended up in a bad situation but then ended up in a maternity home in Los Angeles called St Anne’s. It ended up being a wonderful experience and after 3 years they gave up on him gaining weight and realized there was nothing I was doing and he didn’t gain weight. He’s now 29, is 5 ft 9 and weighs 113. I am really grateful for the experiences I had especially all of parenting classes. I was really hoping you guys would foster so seeing this video just made my day. Thank you
While I know it's sometimes best for a child to be given up for adoption, I admire you for keeping your firstborn. I'm glad you both ultimately got the support you needed.
As an adopted former foster child, Thank You for recognizing that the journey to parenthood by adoption/foster and biological children are different journeys. Not better. Not worse. Different. Thank you for giving yourselves time and permission to be honest about your emotions, wants, and motives. That work on your parts could prevent so much pain for future children in your home. I know many of us were made to feel like substitute solutions, or plan B. I think you both will be wonderful parents in whatever capacity comes your way.
Same first sentence…with lots of complications.. I often felt like an accessory to someone else’s life.
@@douxhealth-beauty3196 I get that. I have used the word accessory myself in relation to my adoption. My adoptive mom didnt want to actually BE a mom. She just wanted to be perceived as a mom. She reminded me at every possible moment that I failed to meet the expectations in the role of her daughter.
@@lynn2574I’m sorry you had to endure that. That must have made you feel really bad when you adoptive mom treated you that way.
@@lynn2574🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
@@lynn2574 That is so sad. I hope that you have overcome your childhood and possibly forgiven your mom. You are a better person. Take care
Congratulations, you two! Fostering has been the greatest joy of our life for the past 4 years. We’ve been certified twice and, 4 days after being re-certified in a new state, got the call for a newborn baby boy. Almost 11 months later and our sweet boy is still with us and is the joy of our lives. We have experienced the very heights of joy and the very depths of despair along the wild ride of fostering. It is so worth it, because these kids are worth it. The best piece of wisdom we’ve gathered is that it is our responsibility to do the hard things so that the kids don’t have to. We can handle the grief of loss in fostering - it’s our job to shoulder that so that these kids can be spared as much trauma and pain as possible. Praying for you two as you enter into this amazing ministry!
Congratulations! As a licensed clinical social worker who works with children in foster care, I thank you for becoming foster parents.
I love the raw honesty of Cole's emotions. You both have so much love to give and I think this is just such a beautiful beginning to the journey you have ahead.
I am raising thee of my grandchildren. The first 2 came home from the hospital with me-however, the third was in a state that handled things very differently. It took me 5 LONG and very scary months to get my grandchild home. My grandbaby was with 2 foster families after leaving the NICU-and I will be thankful to them for the rest of my life. These families loved on my grandbaby like she was their own. They communicated with me daily-sending pictures, text and videos. The answered my questions and concerns about her and doctor's appointments etc...My youngest grand is now going on two years old, and I continue to update those foster families on how she is and send pictures regularly. They were her first families-who kept her safe and loved while I fought for her to come home. You are doing valuable, selfless, and rewarding work. Thank you so much!
I have not been in your situation, and I have nine grandchildren, and I know I would’ve done anything to help protect and raise them. Kudos to you for having such an open heart.
@@cathytauscher6760 family is everything-nine grandchildren! So wonderful
What exciting news! I've worked as a county Children & Youth caseworker, and a foster care caseworker., in Pennsylvania .
You both appear to be in a great mind set. The list of questions for a possible foster child is a wonderful idea. Congratulations
Bless you for taking in your grandchildren. I would do the same, but I know how hard it would be as I'm not 21 anymore! These two great people will make big changes in these kids lives, even if they don't know it now. Good foster families are needed everywhere. ❤
@leslieearnest9602 Thank you so much---I am so lucky to have them!
Our youth pastor and his wife decided to do foster before they had kids. The first placement was a brand new baby. A day later 2 siblings 4 and 6 came. They ended up adopting them and never had biological kids. Now they have 3 amazing kids. You just never know God's plans for you. Watching your channel I see two amazing loving people who will make great foster parents.
That’s amazing! I’m a licensed foster parent. Take it one day at a time, it’s very rewarding, and heartbreaking. Some families still allow you to be in their lives via updates. Congratulations
What do you mean heartbreaking 😢?
@@morganmaria6318 self explanatory! Meaning kids can be in your home for an extended period of time, then the judge decides to give them back, you keep in contact only to find out they should’ve never went back in the first place. I recently had a bonus child go back to her parents, her mom had 14 CPS cases previously, this baby was burned over 40% of her body due to her mom pouring scolding water on her.
Heartbreaking when you have to let children go after bonding with them
@@lauramunyasia479 it’s more to it than that, the ultimate goal is reunification, it’s abuse of the children over and over again.
@lauramunyasia479 Oh yes, because bonds are always created .
when cole started crying “idk what happened” why is this me whenever i start crying 🤣 in all seriousness, this is so incredible of you guys. and also makes total sense as you are such lovely humans. so excited for this new chapter for y’all! 🥹🌷💫
My mother fostered children between 0 and 3 years old. Be prepared for some joy and pain during the foster care process. You're human and becoming attached is real. At the end she fostered two babies that were hours old. And those two knuckleheads will be turning 30 in a few years. I will always remember the joy we went through during their adoption process. Congratulations!!
I don’t know if you are continuing fertility treatments, but here is my story: after trying for a second child we tried IVF and the specialist said my eggs were damaged and gone. We signed up to be foster parents and also decided to do adult date nights-we signed up for a celebrity lecture series, a music concert series, and ballroom dancing! You know what’s coming next! Naturally conceived pregnancy. Of course it was the dancing!!!
Yeah, i really feel these beautiful people are kind of in a hurry, i love the idea of fostering but wonder if they dont need to be together for a longer time. Age is still very much on their side. I Maybe wrong but i wish they'll just chill and play for somtime bfore getting into advance parenting.
My husband and were foster parents for 3 years from 2010 to 2013 until we adopted our daughter from birth in February of 2013. The ages of 0-3 years old (this was the age group my husband and I also had) it the hardest age group in my opinion because who doesn’t fall in love with a baby you will get attached however the placements we had just needed a helping hand for the parents ,we found that we provided mentors-ship mostly so that the child could reunify with family sometimes that wasn’t necessary mean the birth parents! Comments like the above are so lame, I already know you guys are rock stars at filtering out the negative! Charisma my husband is paraplegic and we were also concerned about how we would be accepted but we were welcome with open arms it was the most rewarding decision my husband and I made to this day! God bless you and Cole I’m praying for you and your new journey may it be filling and rewarding❤️.
That happens so much! The stress and pressure from trying to become pregnant affects fertility so much. That’s why there is so many cases when someone used a surrogate to conceive and after the surrogate gets pregnant, the intended mom also gets pregnant 😅
Congratulations, guys. I fostered 3 siblings and adopted all 3. You'll love it. It's very rewarding ❤
As a former foster parent, you are not prepared for the heart ache/break but you will survive it. Give your self time to grieve as needed and have a good support group to join. Support is needed and should be with other foster parents that will understand your feelings and judge you less. I would not trade the years we fostered for anything because of our beautiful babies we adopted. I’m so happy you all are on this journey 🙏
Congratulations! No one deserves it more. Those kids are going to be so loved.
Oh my goodness Cole you are so special!! You will both be such great role models! Great parent's! Good people!
SO refreshing to see parents online say straight up that they're not putting kids in their content. I wish you both the best in this journey!
I knew this was the announcement!!! I just had a feeling. I just closed our home as we were foster to adopt parents since 2015 and we’ve adopted five over that span of time. You’re going to be awesome parents.
I love how you two love each other.
You guys are great for this!!!! Perfect
Only because you asked for advice… As someone who was fostered almost two years through an unofficial process, I very much appreciated the couple I chose to label as my God-parents. I also had wonderful visits with my sweet mother and siblings until I moved back home. My mother was so appreciative of the pastors who opened their home to me and spoke of them highly. Yet, despite positive and structured visits, I would cry when I returned to the foster home after my family visitation. My unusual emotional behavior led to my God-parents assuming the family visits were detrimental. They almost stopped them, thinking they were protecting me. Point is: even the most well-behaved children in the best foster home and with the best family visitation possible may struggle when they return to your home away from their bio/first family despite appreciating you and despite having a heathy home/family visit. Those visits are still important, and you are still needed/ and likely appreciated.
I can understand his emotions! He sees your giving heart and he know how good you are to him and seeing you want to give more love to a needed child. He said he want to be like you which says a lot! I know this will be a blessed home for the child.
Awwwww and that's so sweet & loving of him. Blessing to you both🙏🏽
Also emotions of the IVF experience and how he still would love biological children... I am happy for them both in this decision to foster.
Wow awesome. God blessings to both of you
😅M
@@cynthijohns
I love hearing about the journey you went on from “gotta have bio babies” to “we will foster babies” to “we just want to be parents” ❤
Something from my experience I have noticed kids in foster care, you can’t show them online. So just a reminder to people that they might be able to talk about their experiences but won’t have any foster kids in their videos.
This is an amazing thing you are doing ❤
Yeah, it's literally illegal. But she did say that in the video.
aww, any child would be lucky to have you two as parents. congrats
Congratulations, it's an emotional roller coaster. Never apologize for that. My sister is a foster parent. She received an eighteen month little girl at one in the morning. She received four pampers and one sneaker. She is turning six in June and is finally up for adoption. Parental rights have been terminated.
Foster/ adoptive mom here! What a joy it has been for my life. We have adopted 4 kids and one is disabled and uses a wheelchair and that's why I started following y'all! Full circle! Best wishes!
remember all kids deserve to be loved, when I was younger, my family ended up fostering 4 kids, 2 of them we adopted, and 1 we kept until she aged out, but we just excepted her as a blood sister. patients is the key. trying to understand their needs.
Gosh, he's so sweet...that was such sweet vulnerability to see. Thank you for not cutting it out we need more of this.
I am very excited for you. I am a foster parent. My biggest suggestion is find a group of other foster parents that you can talk too. I love it, however their is a lot of frustration with the system! Have a therapist you can do grief work if you have a child that either goes home or is placed else where. I think you guys will be great!
Congratulations guys you will be great parents
More people like you guys are needed.
I grew up in the foster care system.
Having people who are caring and willing is so important.
I'm crying with Cole. He's going to be an absolutely amazing person, Husband, and Father!!!!
Congratulations...I'm so happy for you all. ❤
Congratulations! Any child under your care will be loved and blessed.
As a family that fostered for 13 years, this is so awesome! I can tell you that these sweet kids are going to bring your life so much joy and you will be blessed by them just as much has you will be a blessing to them. We adopted 3 of our many foster babies we had. No it is not easy and there will be many hard days, but this will be the best journey you are about to begin! Congratulations!!
LOVE LOVE LOVE THE GIFT YOU CAN GIVE FREELY...PREPARE FOR LOVE TO BE RETURNED TO YOU!
Pattie Labelle "s "YOU ARE My FRIEND ".
I’m so glad you are becoming foster parents and realized that you wanted to become parents without the need to be bio parents.
As an adoptee, I’m grateful that Cole, especially, has been able to open his mind to this option of family.
I am sorry about your IVF challenges.
I see you are in the perfect situation to live on the child(ren) that are placed in your home.
My parents fostered over 40+ children in my first 15 years of life. I’m in an interesting way have been reunited with one recently after 35+ years. He was a foster brother with his two younger siblings.
I remember how our family grew by three in an instant, but my parents wanted to make sure they stayed together.
Since we were small people we could squeeze an infant and two children under 7 in our small home.
I’m delighted of who my parents are who raised me and were pioneering adopting outside of race.
Thank you for this episode. I love learning from you both!
This has moved me to tears…….And Cole, like I’ve always taught my sons….showing emotions through tears is a “manly” -- human thing. It has moved me because , so many children could be loved and cared for through fostering……
You both will be such wonderful parents and will help many children….specially children who really need what you both have to offer….(Our Canadian system is similar to yours)
Our family spent 14 years, fostered over 40 children , and adopted 2 through the system….No regrets……I Plan to write about the Blessings, and will always encourage and introduce others to do ……
One of the great Blessings, is how this experience has helped our naturally born children (3 boys) to become great husbands and fathers…..setting a great example for their youngest brother…….(who came to us at 2 days old)…….Our only daughter came at 4 years old…They’re now early thirties, late twenties respectively…..
YOU HAVE DONE WELL……You will be guided and greatly Blessed by the Lord….
I have been a foster mama for over 20 yrs. If there is one thing I could tell you keep a life book on the child like name caseworker when the child came and left and who they went with pic's of 1st and last day.This book is just for you.
as a public defender who represents so many parents working hard to get their kids back home, i really admire how much you respect the goal of reunification. yall rock and will flourish. thank you for what you are doing.
As a person who was a foster child from the age of three, one piece of advice I can give you guys is: just be there and listen. It doesn't take much to make a child feel loved and safe. Being truly present and listening to what they have to say is so important, since a lot times those children will feel like they have no voice and what they have to say is not important.
I have so much respect for you guys' bravery to enter a path that is most likely going to result in the occasional heartbreak, but please don't forget the immense impact you are going to have on those children through everything you will provide, be it the food, the company, the laughter and all the love...they will be forever thankful! ❤
Fostering is so needed! I am so happy to hear this!!! ALL children, biological or not, are a blessing!!!! 🤍🤍🤍
I did foster care for 6yrs 0-5yr but had an 8yr one time. I had kids already so I was just being cautious about bringing in older kids. I took tons of pics of the kids and printed them for the parents. I had kids 24 hours to almost 2 years at times. I got planned placement,surprise pick up from a hospital, re-placed in my home..etc. They were all treated as if they were our own. (I hate hearing the stories of the mistreatment some fc kids experience!) My bio got Nike, fc got Nike, bio got a special lunch, fc got a special lunch..etc. We were very blessed that our families took them in as if they had been there all along. Family birthday's, Christmas, Easter all the stuff that comes along with it was the same no matter what. I actually had contact with a few parents. I actually have contact many many years later with one of them. I see them thriving and I love it! For all involved! There are so many kids that need a safe space until they can go home, get adopted or whatever is meant to be for them. (I'm hearing you talk about how many right now and I thought one at a time (since I had 2) but I usually had 2 extra kiddos. I did take on 3 once. I was a stay at home mom and my husband worked. I stayed busy.. Lol Keeping up with visits, appointments, home visits, child-parent preschool, sports... I heard so many people say that a lot of people do it for money but they make sure you are stable before you go into it so I was confused. Not to mention I was paid 575 a month (back then) for a child which went to diapers, formula/food, clothes, necessities even a semi private preschool. I didn't use resources like WIC or EBT. They were offered. It's just a lot to sign up for and maintain with kids coming and going. Their needs were met out of what I was paid. I didn't 'make money' off of the kids. It's sad that some have been known to do that.😕
I love that you're thinking ahead about what you can and can not do before taking a kiddo in. 🤍 It would be hard on them to have to move again right away.
As an infertility patient who was unable to have a child, who with my husband became an adoptive parent, I am so excited for you guys! When your heart and home feels empty because you have this strong desire for children, life can be very unfulfilled. I could not have been a foster parent because the heartbreak of losing a child was more than I could bear emotionally. I am sure you will be wonderful parents because you have so much love to give. Best of luck and all God's blessings on your journey!
Any child placed in your care will be so fortunate to have such kind people showering them with love. Wishing you the very best on your new life adventure.
This makes me joyous!!! I was a foster care social worker for over a decade and so many foster care youth are in need of safe, stable, nurturing homes ❤❤❤❤ thank you!
They have so much love & respect for each other, it’s admirable!
My aunt and uncle fostered 6 siblings but ended up adopting all of them. The children all went through a lot of traumatic experiences and it has been hard to help them through processing and coping with their trauma but after 6 years they are all thriving. Being able for provide them a safe and loving home was the most important motivation for fostering. Seeing a 5 year old running around the house, being so excited to have his own bed, toys, food to eat is so emotional to witness.
It’s so nice to see more and more people open to fostering, to protect and love children is amazing to see, so thank you ❤ You’re both going to be amazing parents ❤
I'm so excited for you both. As a person going through infertility we my husband and I thought about fostering and how it is important to understand that the main goal of fostering is reunification. But I love the fact that the want to help a child in need and using your pain and turning it into your purpose is beautiful in itself. You guys are inspirational.
As someone that's adopted and been in foster care. This is so amazing. Congrats!!!
We are in South Africa and have 3 foster children. It is a amazing journey. You learn to love like God loves us. Bless your beautiful ❤.
Congrats and welcome to the Foster Parent World you all!!!
These two are beautiful souls together. They are fantastic. God bless this beautiful family.
We started out as foster parents with the goal of reunification. Life being the way it is, reunification didn't end up being possible, and there were no kinship placements, so 2.5 years after having our child with us as a foster child, we were able to adopt her! We struggled with infertility as well, but decided to go straight to adoption for our second child. Like you two, we wanted to be parents (again) more than we needed a biological connection with a child. We ended up getting pregnant while in the process of adopting our second child!
You both will be fantastic foster/resource parents, and I know due to privacy of the child and bio family you won't be able to share too much information with us, and that's okay. Praying for you on this journey - it's such a fulfilling ride ❤
Every time Cole cries, I cry. God bless you both and your journey with taking care of your children.
I was so privileged to have you share this with me last week Friday. It will not be easy but it can be rewarding and you two are very good people for it.
Not only are you a beautiful couple, but you have a beautiful spirit too.... you will learn so so much. Big hug for this new adventure of a lifetime ❤😊
Congratulations, any child will be blessed to have you two as their foster parents! They will be coming into a loving and caring home.
You guys are awesome. There are so many children that need a home to feel loved and safe.
Aw. My Heart. YAY!! My heart is so happy for Y'all, & also for the kids who have Y'all as parents. I know You both will make Awesome Parents to every child who walks through your door, that's filled with so much UNCONDIONAL LOVE. You, & the children will be so blessed to have each other. We're so happy for Y'all. So a BIG CONGRATULATIONS to Y'all!! I can already feel the UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, & JOY!! 🥰🤗😍💜💜
Happy for you😅
9 o
Dad crying made me cry. You are such. A STRONG MAN!!! Your going to be the most amazing dad/father/parent EVER❤❤❤❤
That was so sweet Cole getting emotional. The nursery is adorable especially the little animals on the wall.
This is going to be a very big, hard, emotional but for sure beautiful and healing journey for the both of you. I can't imagine whishing better role-models and foster parents for the kids that will be in your care.
So happy for you! One area that I took up to study human behavior was working as a volunteer at a Crisis Nursery. A good place to go and spend the day with a child that has been dropped off suddenly and who’s crying uncontrollably and constant, and hasn’t learned to soothe itself- suck it’s finger(s), which is critical to do for ever how long, or who doesn’t have it’s favorite stuffy animal or blanky. Having a collection of stuffies or small blankies that can become theirs when they leave would be giving the child a part of you to take, and be a momento. The child can even participate in the creating the soothing object. So, while you’re waiting for the child/ren, consider a reasonably priced sewing machine (or hand sew), a bit of cozy fabric cuts in a square, and be able to direct the child to their cozy when they get stressed and screaming for you to discipline them the old way their parent had been doing - that at this point may not have been the best. Another is a hand puppet can be easy to create to sort out emotions with, despite the age. They can even go get the cozy/puppet in the room for processing the pain (taking part)! We as humans soon forget it’s a puppet and hone in on the creature who’s comforting. So loving is the exchange. Having survived abuse myself, has helped me help others in these ways - learning right away that the world is their oyster to design it the way they choose. God bless your pathway. Sharon.
Thank you for opening your hearts to all ages. I believe you and your home will be a soft landing place during a hard time for these children.
I’m so happy for yall, I was a foster mom & I really enjoyed it! These kids need so much love & a home that is secure
So excited you're becoming resource parents. I'm a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) who supports children who have been removed from their birth parents and placed in resource homes and have seen firsthand what a difference a loving, safe and stable home can make for children who have been through trauma. Thank you for doing this and for making this video to raise awareness.
Love this!! I did CASA before becoming a foster parent. Now I'm a social worker and foster parent!!
The kids will be blessed with such great people for their parents and guardians. They will also have phenomenal grands! Congratulations ❤❤❤
It takes very strong and committed people to be foster parents. I have extreme faith that you two will be perfect. You are both so caring; for me the hardest part would be giving them up, I would be heartbroken. Looking forward to seeing your foster child/children. Stay safe you two.
I'm so happy for you guys. Any child would be lucky to have you guys as parents.😭❤
Congratulations 🎈🎊🎉🍾 Cole and Charisma! You will be amazing parents 🙏🌺
WOW!! .... Absolutely And Unequivicolly Super Happy To Hear This Fantastic News!! ... YAY!!! .. This Is Such A Momentous Time In Your Beautiful Life!! ... You Two Will Be The Very Best Foster Parents Ever!! .. BRAVO!! ... Cannot Wait To Hear More Uplifting News. .. God Bless You Both!! ... So Much Love Coming Your Way!! .. CC❤❤❤
Guys I am so happy for you all. We were foster parents for 5-7 years and we adopted one child along with already having 3 kids. Two more we had in permanent custody for 14 years. It’s a blessing to open up your hearts to except these children. We wasn’t going to adopt until this little girl came to us and the social worker said she didn’t have anyone she told us to please pray about it and today that little girl is 27 years old with two babyboys when we opened our home and hearts we helped to save this child’s life and so will you I am so happy for you guys🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️❤️also our little girl we adopted she has spastic cp and other health problems it was difficult but God bought us through it and he will do the same for you guys ❤
My husband and I Fostered for 8 years and Adopted 2 boys, one infant and one toddler which are now ages 22 and 20 . I am so happy that you are welcoming Foster Children into your lives ! I definitely will be in Prayer for you both , it is one of the most beautiful, yet challenging journeys you may ever go through.
Days full of joy and days full of heart ache.
But I think you will both be a blessing in the lives of many children, as they will be to you!
Hugs... You've got this! ❤
He got emotional and I started to cry, he’s amazing as well as she is.
God's preparing y'all for your own babies! Please don't give up hope! God's faithful. ❤️🙏🏽🤗
Our family has done foster care for years and have several adopted now. I applaud you all and you will be such great foster parents! Foster parenting can be beautiful, heart-breaking, infuriating, and so rewarding. More importantly than anything, I wish you good case workers, supervisors, and judges. It makes all the difference, and it's so rare to have all three working for the best interest of the child. God bless you all! ❤
Congratulations!!! The kids who are placed in your care will be so loved❤
My Mom was a foster parent for 20+ years.
Never let a parent know where you live, set boundaries for parents, and you'll be good.
The reason I suggest setting boundaries. Some parents will show up late and expect you guys to be there, some will call at all hours of the night.
Getting an older child can be challenging, some of them know how to work the system.
Being a foster parent is one of the greatest gifts you can give a child in need.
The first couple of months will be hard, but once you get into how it works you'll be just fine.
You'll get attached and it can be challenging.
Watching the love you both have for each other I know you'll be great parents
Watching the channel gives me hope for my future.
Allowing us to see what everyday life is like is amazing. Keep up the great work, and many blessings to the both of you.
Congratulations! This is something you two are perfect for by just being the people you are. The coolest thing is, you have documented your life & exactly who you two are as a couple for over 5 years right here on TH-cam. Anyone can watch from day one or any random video & they will see how you & your whole families have been & just grown stronger over the years. No rude surprises, or scandals will be found. That's big! Many of us have done something we are not too proud of or had some family drama in the same 5 years span yours has been an open book. Maybe it would have no problems as to fostering kids, but that is nothing you two need to worry about. You really do come from great families & have had great childhoods, that definitely gives you a good start on parenting. Pretty sure you even talked about not having your own children shown on the channel content. Lots of people do show their kids but a lot do not. I'm very glad you are in the WILL NOT group.
You guys are a beautiful family! I’m sure the child(ren) that is/are blessed to be in your home will be blessed in this season of their life.
Y’all got me crying over here. What an honorable decision and journey to embark on. That is something I have always wanted to do as well. Good for you both. I think Sofie will be happy about this too! Not to mention your whole loving extended family. Bless you both for wanting to provide a safe, loving home to someone in need. 🎉
these children are going to be so loved and shown that it is okay to show emotions. you two are such amazing people and congratulations, you both deserve the world! thank you for sharing your journey and please NEVER apologize for being true to yourselves and showing emotions. i'm sure so many people appreciate how genuine and open you both are
As someone who dealt with the child welfare system and continues to help others in the system at camp- this is amazing!! You all are the perfect couple to do so as well! Ensure you have a community around you that can assist with whatever it may be- bringing meals, respite care, donations, etc! Love you all!!
Wahooo!!! I loveeee this!
I’m a social worker currently working in healthcare, but I spent several years working with kids and parents in child welfare and my absolute favourite thing was reunifying! It was always such a celebration!
My favourite foster parents were the ones who were happy to be a forever parent to the kiddos but who were also able to prioritize the kiddos and know that it might be right for kiddos to go back to family and made a party of that too.
Thank you for sharing your journey 💕
You guys are amazing, such beautiful souls❤
We adopted two of our kids. Our process involved them being placed in foster care first. Thank you for fostering. It is a God gift. ❤
Congratulations!!🎊
It’s going to be very rewarding to you and a child. The room looks amazing . Everyone needs love and support on both ends. Both of you (hearts) are amazing and you will be amazing parents. You have all of our emotional support , positive energy and prayers . Blessings upon blessings are come your way
I had the honor of knowing a woman who, along with her husband, fostered well over 100 children. They adopted 5 girls at the end. Her stories inspired me and helped me understand how incredible it is to open your home and hearts to children who need a safe and loving home. You both will be blessings to any child who comes into your home.