Are Finnish People Rude? 🇫🇮
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.ย. 2024
- I ask Varpu, a Finnish creator living around Helsinki about how the gender equality has impacted life in Finland. Are Finnish men rude in not opening the door or offering to help with heavy luggage? What is "sisu" and what does it show about the Finnish mentality?
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Full video here (Part 1 of 2):
rb.gy/cs82yp
I am a woman and I was taugh to always open the door for the person behind you...either man o woman or cat...Has nothing to do with gender, its basic manners to my understanding.
In Canada, you can be following a Hell's Angel into a store and he will hold the door for you.
Do not try to change any foreign culture.
That is your culture and what Varpu is saying is her culture. It should stay as it is.
@@roberth4395how is her comment on TH-cam going to change centuries of finish culture? 🤔 also, just because something is culturally acceptable , doesn't mean it's okay. 🤷♀️
@@anneshirley9560 Finnland is in the top 1-3 countries in the world.
Unless you come from Norway, Sweden or Finland your culture is inferior, so your advice can only hurt.
I think learning aspects from another culture to adapt it to yours is something that has happened for millennia. When a culture has a deficit of warmth in terms of caring about unknown people through small gestures of daily kindness, I’d say best thing you can do is adapt, learn and change. Keeping individualistic manners (no matter how resilient you want to show you are) for the sake of tradition and culture makes zero sense at a level of emotional health. Being kind and showing it through gestures such as holding a door open shouldn’t be tied to a culture or a gender. If a culture doesn’t have this, they are missing on good stuff. We globalize and hybridize products, why not cultures and customs?
Men might not open the door for you, but people usually hold the door open if someone is coming after them.
Women nowadays don't care about it that much, because they're way ahead of men 😂
@@karolinawww6834 what does that even mean. you come off as a supremacist.
It common every were, in Delhi metro 🚇 we give seats to women and to old age people.
That’s true. I lived in Finland for many years and people ALWAYS hold doors for those behind them. I think Finns are just not chatty and don’t have great social skills by global standards (haha). But they are very polite and nice and definitely offer help when someone looks like they may need it.
@@karolinawww6834just admit you hate men
Just because someone doesn't ask for help, doesn't mean they don't need it. Even in Finland.
Plz.give me a fin bf
Thx
Verbalise your needs - that's it
@@user-yp4tp8gg4q🤔
@cqtaylor
That might be true but in Finland if you offer help to the stranger it might be taken as "You don't believe I can handle this situation? I will so you that I'm stronger than you believe!" without so many words said aloud 😃
@arcabuz
Finnish social intelligence says that not everyone wants somebody on their face all the time, so if you don't ask help people will let you be in peace.
I am an american living in finland and people always hold open doors for me here? Both men and women do it so it doesn't seem gendered either, just whoever goes first holds the door open.
Seems like basic politeness to me, just Be nice to other people.
Finns are also great at exaggerating, as shown in this video
For all of you gentlemen out there, I really appreciate it when you open the door. It is such a polite gesture and very chivalrous.
Well, I don’t consider myself an unusual Finnish man. I always make sure to hold the door open for the person behind me, whether it’s a mother with a baby, a woman or man of any age/ethnicity/style...
Being a Finn, I believe she’s actually describing Helsinki area Finnish culture (a bit like New York City culture 😁) There’re huge differences among different parts of Finland.
Filipinos can’t survive in Finland😄. It’s imbedded in our culture to help and be needed. Living alone specially if you are an elderly is not normal for us.
So nice...🎉
Thank god it is like that! Kindness, wanting to help others, taking responsibility are great values.
And let's not forget that the elders are the ones who raised our generations, so they deserve to be cared for.
💯
We believe in the saying that "No man is an island."
True but as a Filipino, it's best to strike a balance between helping neighbors and family and tolerating laziness, ungratefulness, and incompetentce in our society. Yes, we are known for being kind, friendly, and sweet but so many people also use that to manipulate and take advantage of others.
Well that sounds interesting. Im in Finnland every summer as my grandmother was from Finnland. I have experienced that when you ask someone they go out of their way to help you and at our summer house (kesämökki) when a neighbor sees or hears something that he believes you could need help they are immediately coming over and ask you if you need help. As for when a generator sounds strange or a boatmotor doesn’t start and stutters the neighbors suddenly appear next to you and offer their help.
I visited Finland and the people are all nice. I have a special needs son and all were warm to him and kind to him. Also, many children shared things with him which he didn’t ask for such as sleds (a lot). Maybe if you don’t come off needy they are kind because now they don’t feel used??? So the kindness was more genuine since I didn’t ask or demanded anything.
I am hoping you had a positive experience overall and I am glad you had some nice experiences with the kids ❤
Thank you. This is exactly it; we operate sorta "under the radar", not making a fuss about doing certain gestures but including the important ones in our daily life.
It's interesting that you say that they helped you because you weren't needy, not begging like a bum. In here bums are often treated with inhumane "you don't exist so I just walk past you without a word" treatment. Even though I won't give bums any cigarette or beer money unless they manage to trick me somehow, I still talk to them because they too are people.
A lot of us finns would do well to take to heart the old saying:
"Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future."
It means, people like Gandhi slept with too young ladies and touched them to satisfy their desires. People like me have done things we would not do again really, but we still work for a better way to give more happiness to others. Bums can be heroes in life too.
Yea, I'm gonna guess that people are nicer to a child with a medical condition than the average person. Jesus.
Nice approach 😊
There was some rubbish in this video. Most Finnish men would help a woman with a baby. Definitely.
True. When I have been with a stroller in Helsinki pretty much everyone opens doors for us and wants to help if they can.
I didn't recognize Finns described here at first and then I thought that she must be describing southerners because we do help each other here up north - even strangers and especially pregnant ladies and mothers. Then I read villapullas comment and now I don't have any clue what she is talking about .
Definitely (from a Brit living in Pori)
She didn’t say help create one. Don’t bet on it they most certainly would not
Yes I believe so too.
That they would help...
People in the comment section, don't judge a whole nation by listening some Helsinkian about her own surroundings...
Yes, Helsinkilainen are not really Finns. They are more globalists
I think it's great. So progressive.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 What MSA meant by his comment is that people should not assume that what she said in the video is actually true for most of Finnish people. My guess is that the woman being interviewed is from Helsinki, our capital city, because if you go anywhere else, people are generally much more helpful to others than what she described.
You can be self-sufficient, resourceful, rssilient, and still be helpful and kind to people, including strangers. It's weird how this simple thought has never occurred to a whole society. Cheers from Italy 🇮🇹😂😂😂
well resilient here is code word for "get out ot of your misery alone and if you are struggling dont cry like a baby, if you seriously mental broken then you have health insurance, consult a therapist and everything will be fine within 1 week". Its the same in Germany.
You have a point.
Yeah i hate it when people like her over simplify things. As a man i do help, offer help and get helped sometimes. Also more often than not people appreciate the general politeness.
You do not get it at all.
Finnish people are INDEPENDENT. If you ask a fin to help, they will help you, but you have to ask for it as they believe you are capable of managing in your own.
Sometimes it is seen as insulting to offer help, like they can't do it on their own. It is about agency. Always ask before helping!
This sounds sad to me. But I'm Italian, so my culture is diametrally opposite than theirs. But I love to help others and I'm grateful for a kind gesture from a stranger person who sees I'm in need of something.
Italy has the nicest people Ive met abroad. If I move from the US Ill live in Italy
I’m American, and I feel the same
@@blaackberry That's so kind of you, thank you!
That's interesting. I dated an Italian guy for a while. Even though I am Uzbek born and raised in Uzbekistan, I never felt much of cultural differences between us.
Genuine question: why do Italians get so hellbent over food?
I don't expect a man to open the door for me because I have two healthy hands.
However, if I carry something heavy, I expect anyone to open the door for me or help with the door.
I will always do the same.
As a Finn from Western Finland, I do not agree or relate to any of this🤨
Being direct isn't the same as being rude, it's just a normal way of communicating. If you are constantly annoyed by someone presenting things in a normal (calm), direct way, then the problem is in fact you.
Ok but what does being direct have to do with what she said?
I dated Finish guy -great expirience.Gentleman, educated, best places for dinner& drinks and he payed bills in manner that i never felt uncomfortable.
We had great conversations and understood each other though I am not from Finland.
My friend is Swedish and he says that’s why there’s a lot of single Swedes 😊
I don't get kt
He puts a smiley face at the end😂😂😂
It’s true. All those lonely women and men. Equality is a scam.
Too many feminists:(
They not worth it its like going night club and try find one as ur future wife and expect she will not stab u from behind when u become weak Lol
I am fin man and I always open doors for women and help carry things. Some Finnish women are just not used to it. Usually women are taken by this. 😊
Same here in Latvia. People don't like when strangers bother them or make small talk.
I’m the same way. :)
It's always good to be self-sufficient. But I like to use my self sufficientness to help others out to. We can be more efficient together.
Coming from South America, something I really appreciate from Slovenian culture is how much people try to help, specially if they see you with a small child. There are situations where one person can't handle everything and you see a big difference when societies are setting in collective values, instead of individuals. Even if you are strong and self sufficient, a bit of kindness is always a great relief.
you moved to Slovenia from South America? wow that is so rare! I hope you like it. :)
As an American woman, I love everything about her energy and her dialogue.
Be self-sufficient and stop waiting for dudes to do sh!t for you.
♥️👏
As an American woman, you will be alone forever
@@Kelly-pp1et
😂…you really think that I need you to tell me that? Really?
I’ll be JUST fine… believe me!
♥️👸🏻♥️
@@TLW369 yeah sure 🤦🏼♀️
@@TLW369
Eventually you will get old and your body will degrade.
At that point you've either saved up enough to pay for a nursing home all on your own... or suffer in silence. Enjoy
I’ll open or hold a door for any stranger if the situation facilitates it
Some people think this kind of behaviour is individualism at its best, a very common feature in Nordic countries, I guess Finnish people are not so fond of sugarcoating or fake politeness or pleasantries as a way of saving face because it's a waste of time and energy, but that's just my perception.
To Finns, managing by yourself is an important life skill. There is no hidden agenda there, nor is it about coldness of character. Even during ancient times, many Finns did not live in communities. We would keep a distance when building, and only live with our own immediate family. It's our way and that's simply it.
@@turpasauna And what about greeting your neighbours or having small talk? They're supposed to be social skills and humans are social beings and not robots.
@@herrprofessor Greeting is a social skill, small talk did not really exist in Finland traditionally. We are like the Japanese, comfortable in silence. If you want to chat up a Finn, weather is always a safe topic.
@@turpasauna Sisu also plays a prominent role in this kind of behaviour, it's better to be discrete, not to be flamboyant and don't stand out like Floyd Mayweather Jr when he flaunts lots of money while posing with lots of banknotes in front of him.
Happy on their own, with a bottle of vodka. Nothing is wrong with helping others, or with a man opening a door to a lady. We all are capable on our own, but a little kind and friendly gesture makes the world a much better place with genuinely happier people. Talk to your neighbor in the elevator. Say hello to a total stranger and smile.
I hope people don’t start thinking that we don’t want help. It’s more like if the person doesn’t need help, I don’t have help in gentlemen way but if someone is struggling we do ask if they need help or we need help. And we do keep the door open for the next person as long it doesn’t take them awkwardly long time to came.
There are entire youtube channels where people have moved to finland because they fell in love with finnish society etc
Sadly when some people see a glimpse of another culture they interpret it in the worst way possible and don't listen to the person speaking. (the person speaking in this video is very humble and quite a few people seem to overlook that)
What she said about politeness is true. I fell out with a Finnish friend because l found her direct to the point of rudeness.
I'm a woman but ive never cared about chivalry i dont mind it but i just think its weird cause opening a door does not require any effort but gives the illusion that a man is taking efforts for you.. everything ive heard about finland is awesome. People are self sufficient and mind their own business mostly. I love how direct they are.
I live in Portugal and holding the door for someone isn't a man or woman's job or chivalry but normal social conduct.
If I'm walking into a building and notice someone is behind me I'll hold the door and the person who comes behind me will likely hold the door for whoever comes behind, doesn't matter gender or age, I'll even hold the door for the neighbors cat or dog.
I also hold elevator doors in the building I live so like this the elevator does one single trip and we all save time and resources.
Even yesterday i saw an old lady walking very slowly supported by a crutch trying to cross a very movimented street. I went to her and asked if she needed my help to cross the road she gave me her arm and said 'If you wont mind I really appreciate'. The i just put my hand up to the cars could see us while the lady was telling me she still can live her life and shes not in a rush but crossing the street is scary since she's afraid thar drivers run out of pacience and run over her.
Being self sufficient doesn't mean that help isn't appreciated.
You think men don't open doors for other men? It's common fu!@ing courtesy. You really don't understand men do you.
@@redleeks6253 Agreed, I am from the USA and opening the door isn't us trying to say you aren't capable, its just us trying to be nice, its common manners
Pretty much the same for the Dutch. (I am Dutch)
Yeah, and it is sad. I know people who don't want to buy their friends birthday presents, because they see it as an inconvenience. Dutch kids also really don't help their parents, even if the kid is 27 and still living with their parents. That is insane to me
Is that where the phrase “going Dutch” comes from
@@Cyhcg5uhgbthat's kinda extreme. sounds awful to me.
@@Cyhcg5uhgb
Less consumerism
This is not particularly Finnish culture, but rather Helsinki city culture. In other parts of Finland they do use polite words, open doors to strangers etc. daily polite things. It's just that Helsinki is quite rude place
You forgot about Turku.. This place sucks!
@@hannelerantanen760 We'll at least they say hi to strangers and open doors in Turku! And it's closer to western europe!
So asking for help is a weakness after all? I knew those therapist were lying to me
Thats not at all what she said, is it?
@@karinland8533She said that people are self-sufficient and dont need help. I don't know how did to correlate both things.
You can be self sufficient and still need or request help.
no she said that offering help can be seen as an insult.
@@specialnanobot And that's somehow supposed to be any better?
@@NoctLightCloud yeah it actually is, since asking for help is fine? Like I understand this is mostly trolls responding on this channel since most people aren't this culturally illiterate and if I get it -most people get it.
judging an entire people from a few seconds of interview is generally not something people do, and it says more about those who do than the person appearing in a highly edited video.
It's gonna be really interesting finding out what the reasons behind the making mountains out of molehills are tho, cheers!
I would feel rude to expect someone to open a door for me or do my heavy lifting just because I'm woman. Or take someone's time just to move my lips but say nothing. But I'm a Finnish woman.
I love that we have raised to understand that anyone can do about anything and it has nothing to do with your gender etc.
We are loyal, warm and loving people when we get to know each others, but we don't say we are friends or that we love you after few hours.
And we help people with kids regardless of the gender of the parent if there is need 🙄
I'm a Finn and we always hold doors for others. But offering your spot in the queue to someone with just a few groceries is unheard of
I'm Finnish and that has happened to me several times, when I go to a store and only buy one item and someone in front of me with 50 items lets me cut them in line and I have never asked them to do that.
@@jyripeltola6677 It has never happened to me here. But happens so much in southwestern Europe
A Finnish man here. I beg to differ. I once had broken my leg, and needed crutches to walk. I was the only man in the bus, and at one stop a woman with a pram asked, if someone would help her. The women in the bus didn't make any other gesture but all looked me with a cold stare. I had to raise my crutches to them to see before one of them went to help the woman with the pram. I could possibly have helped her, because I needed my both arms to walk with the crutches, and couldn't have lifted the pram.
From what I've experienced so far, the Finns are all very polite and nice to others.
It's not bad to be self-sufficient, resilient etc. but not just for the sake of being. I think that humans as species got so far because of "team work".
Scandinavians are Germanics and similar! Wunderbar 🇩🇪🇫🇮🇸🇪🇩🇰🇦🇽🇳🇱
Not really. Germans love to bother people. They get mad at you if you don't respond to their "hallos" or chitchat, even if the person is a complete stranger to you. Believe me, Germans have very different culture. They are still Western and have that "fake smile politness" going on.
you putting 🇳🇱? Then why not 🇦🇹🇨🇭 too?
@@NoctLightCloud i put by ethnic,flags Siwss are NOT ONLY germanic! As well Áustria, can BE germanic like Swabian Voralberg or Bavarian Salzburg and Tirol, and as well slavic, slovenians, slovaks, Czech and hungarian!And i don' t have a Frisian flag!
Lack of compassion = quality of life CONFIRMED
It's not missing, I'd say it's different and that's ok. Finnish people are very honest and respectful and I prefer this to fake politeness that is mixed with demands and high maintenance attitude. Maybe nobody opened doors for me but I didn't have to ask anyone to respect my private space, not to endlessly talk on the phone on a long train ride. Also, anytime I asked someone for help they were really nice and dedicated. Maybe they didn't indicate it themselves but I think it's ok to just ask.
I can tell you they are proud of being very independent. I lived in Finland for quite a while.
One of my neighbours was a Finnish elderly lady who spent most of her life in Italy but she returned in her later years. One day that we happen to strike a conversation (because she locked herself out) told me that it was a mistake to come to Finland. She was completely alone, despite the company of two dogs. She was just alone all the time. Nobody came to visit her.
We are not not to be on our own. This is sad.
no, and she didn't say that. She said people rely on themselves which is actually a good thing, idk why people add so much of their own ignorance into it, ofc finnish people hang out and are friendly to people, they're human just like all other humans.
Then why do you add so much of your own ignorance into it?
This sounded very strange. People help one another if there seems to be a need for it, e.g. I think she is totally wrong with having it hard as a mother with a child in a stroller. I don't know how many times I have opened doors for them or let them go first etcetera.
Another thing is helping as an automatic reaction, particularly when it come to "being a gentleman", which imo is a strange notion from olden times. As a man trying to do it, you can actually get negative reactions, i.e. it has to do with the last point: Do you think that I can't manage it myself...
Once offered my seat on a train to a pregnant European woman I swear she looked at me like I was nuts,😂😂😂
That’s funny I did the same and then afterwards even though it seemed obvious she was pregnant for five or six months at least I wondered if maybe she was just had a fat tummy!?! I was so embarrassed that maybe I mistook fat for pregnant and the woman maybe might be insulted & with surrounding people wondering why I offered this woman my seat? - as I didn’t want to insult the pregnant or fat lady that I got off the bus stop or two early. I still think she was pregnant though but the reaction of confusion with people around me is the only thing that made me wonder- this was in France !
It's pretty common in india. I see every day some one is given his seat to women ( Delhi metro)
@@bigboss.800there aren't that many women getting pregnant in Europe as in India, though
I hold the door if someone is coming out of the store while I'm about to go in. Or if I'm going in first and someone is behind me. It doesn't matter if they are young, old, a man or a woman.
Since I'm there, I might as well be of use and make the traffic flow better. Also, I was taught to be considerate of others.
I lived in Finland for 10 long years... I can say if you ask for help it's also looked down upon and people often do not help others even if you ask. As a foreigner who married a fin, you can expect it to be an issue culturally in your relationship. Especially if you ask for help or for them to do things. Their response will often be why can't you do it yourself...
You can also be seen as lazy if you need help or can't do something yourself. Old people are often not cared for by younger ones and put to old people homes instead and never visited either is a norm. This culture in Finland has only been since the second world war. And the doors being not opened is only since feminism was so heavily pushed. I personally think it's a bit of a rude society and it comes across that way to people visiting also. Fins don't like Russians, but I personally find russians are more friendly than fins.
Maybe they wanted to blast away anything of the russian culture on their own, including door openings. Maybe they felt that made them too much like Russians.😂
Very interesting! Thanks for sharing. Lots of truth to this.
In Sweden, for ex. there are so many old people dying alone and staying in their flats for days, that there are services to help with the aftermath. As many as 1 in 10 are buried with no family or friends present.
in Japan services for the dead are also very common.. It's definitely very alarming.
I have heard the idea of "hiding old people" in the Netherlands. Not hiding exactly but they are made to feel they shouldn't interfere with the younger people. How true it is I am not sure but I heard it from the Dutch.
Whereas going to parties in Portugal or Italy or Latin America etc you have friends and family and grandmas and grandpas all eating and dancing away together; being part of the fun. Makes sense there is less depression .
@@DatingBeyondBorders community makes you live longer and better. maybe that's something for them to have in mind since everyone gets older.
@@DatingBeyondBorders Letting everyone enjoy life together sounds so much better!! 💗
Hmmm, what sad society
@@rawman909 I've never been there. I'm wondering if such a society is even worth visiting.
We Finns really like to create these exaggerated tales of how stereotypically antisocial we are and then proudly tell them to strangers
They seem to behave as cold as their weather.............
You would be surprised how refreshing it is.
Finnish people are true while most other nations are fake.
If you prefer to live in pretend land, good for you.
🤣🤣
The warmest thing about Finns is the amount of coffee they drink.
@@violets-for-roses Or their saunas.
@@sledgehog1 True, but drinking several cups of coffee a day is a really Nordic thing and the Finns drink the most per capita.
My mom's family is Finnish, and this video makes so much sense to me. Now I know why I don’t like having the door held open!
Its a different story outside the cities, like its city people that are rude and selfish. Go to a smaller town and people do speak about everything you do but we also help each other much more, we thank each other even the bus driver(they do not do it in the cities). Also when a city person moves to an area the "village spirit" goes down until the city person adapts because they just abuse the help from everyone not giving anything back(like you can bake some bread or something make something that you are good at, doesn't need to be expensive as long as the person knows you put effort into it but nothing is better than something bad tasting).
It’s so weird how different things are here in TEXAS. I’ve never opened the door for myself, and even if I get there first and wait for a gentleman to come through, he refuses for me to open it (ALWAYS)and asks me to go through first. EVERY every single time. I think it’s important to preserve cultural differences😊I’m glad I’m on this side!
That sounds infantilizing to me
Some parts of the US are certainly better than others, but for the most part, Americans are very helpful.
Sounds kinda misogynistic ngl. That goes against feminism. Women don’t need men opening doors for them, like they’re fragile beings. Let them be strong and independent.
@@Henry-sd7vd Yea. It's nice whenever someone holds the door open for you when they are in front of you, regardless of gender. But what OP describes is just too much
I have never entered my car without opening the door for the woman first.
I think she meant that she doesn't need a man to open car doors or restaurant door or pull chairs. Like she does not need that kind of gentleman, she has been taught to do it by herself. Yes we finns keep the door open to people coming after us.
Finland is a very beautiful country people are very good friendly nice and polite people who are interested in visiting Finland can visit I also invite finnish people to visit here enjoy the hospitality nature food culture etc
not sure how you can claim people are self sufficient in a country with such an extensive welfare system. He may not open the door for you but he contributes to your health care etc.
Can you choose to not be sick?
Self-sufficiency shouldn't be mutually exclusive with the greater good of society.
It's interesting how different cultures have different ideas of what's polite. In Switzerland, it's very uncommon to ask people whether you need help, we just expect you to ask and then most of us will help you as best as they can. Personally, I only approach people to ask them whether they need help if they're clearly forgeiners and/or look very lost and I know I can help them quickly.
Doesn’t sound as the Finland I’ve grown up in. I help if I can even without asking. Opening doors and keep holding the up for others is also a natural thing. Don’t know what part of Finland she is talking about. Here in the neighbourhood of Helsinki we do care if someone needs help. Or maybe I’m very blind.
I'm a finnish woman, I wouldn't dream not holding door open for someone behind me or not taking few quick steps to open door for someone in front of me if they seem to have difficulties of moving. I've also asked several times if I can help to take someone's shopping cart back, usually I've been walking through parking lot and seen older person w/walking stick just finishing loading their stuff in the car. Why not help them safe their legs little bit? It really can make a difference, especially in the winter.
I think those are all common courtesy in today's modern society like in almost everywhere in the world. Though it practically also boils down to whatever that particular person choose to go above and beyond to extend their gesture of politeness and whatever the person receiving it will accept it said gesture.
I have a old classmate whom used to work at a KFC restaurant a long time ago and part of his job was to help open the entrance door to customers. One day he held open a the door so that a family whom is the customers could enter the restaurant and he was actually scolded by one of the family (whom my friend said was a grandfather) by saying, "it was insulting that any human being even need someone else to held open a door for them since humans are not cows". My friend was totally shocked by such remark coming from that grandfather.
Finnish way of life is not for the faint of heart. They don't want your bs. They are good ole boys who can sort things out on their own. They can plant a seed in the frozen soil out of which an apple tree will grow with one hand and kill a bear with the other. Love from Hungary, your distant family!
Finland is amongst the top 3 in the world of everything! I as a Norwegian bow. They are better than us.
As an Indian female, I generally help senior citizens, my granny has also been helped by other people many a times.
Had a female colleague here in FIN complaining about chauvinism when a man held the door for her or offered help with a flat tire.
Happyness is real only when shared
Not true. That only means you don't know how to be alone. Also, that's not how you spell happiness
@@karolinawww6834not disagreeing but being alone without living friends, family, pets, or community might just be the fastest ticket to suicide. You don’t experience real loneliness until you actually have nowhere left to go.
Knowing how to be comfortable alone is important, but we’re pack animals and we’re meant to be with others we care about
I wonder if that mentality also makes them more likely to be single? Are there a lot of people there who choose to stay single for their entire lives?
Not many choose to, but people are too self reliant or too shy...
You can be self sufficient and in a relationship, but it just means you don't want a partner that doesn't contribute. Families are generally expected to have two incomes, both bring in the money and share the financial burdens, rather than it solely being on men.
@@Jonra1 It's sad.
@@Nothingbutdust_ Nothing sad about that. It shows that we are all in this together and we support each other in everything instead of harping one member of the family to do everything.
We can all emphasise with our struggles and know how much gains mean, so we can celebrate each other without faking our feelings.
Graduation is an important milestone. When a younger relative or friend graduates, we all remember how it felt to graduate ourselves. The feeling of accomplishment, joy and happiness along with the exitement for the future. We get together because we feel that sense of happiness for the gradtuated person and we celebrate their happiness too.
I'd much rather have a partner that knows how awfull rude customers make you feel and how stafisfied you can be when you finish a project and it turns out well than one that doesn't have that understanding. I don't want a partner that belittles my discontent of soiled diapers at every turn since they never touch diapers. I want a partner that has the diaper in their hand before I ask them to, ready to make a soiled diaper burrito in mere seconds to be tossed into the bin, cause we both feel discruntled by the smell of soiled diapers. When you have shared life experiences, you can comfort and support your partner better.
We all carry our needles into the anthill that is our shared lives.
Being forced or assumed to be a sole provider or having sole responsibility of anything feels lonely, depressing stressfull and awfull in more ways than I can list here.
"Samaistuminen", the capability to do that and how it feels is an incredibly important thing in human relationships.
@@Nothingbutdust_Nothing sad about that. It shows that we are all in this together and we support each other in everything instead of harping one member of the family to do everything.
We can all emphasise with our struggles and know how much gains mean, so we can celebrate each other without faking our feelings.
Graduation is an important milestone. When a younger relative or friend graduates, we all remember how it felt to graduate ourselves. The feeling of accomplishment, joy and happiness along with the exitement for the future. We get together because we feel that sense of happiness for the gradtuated person and we celebrate their happiness too.
I'd much rather have a partner that knows how awfull rude customers make you feel and how stafisfied you can be when you finish a project and it turns out well than one that doesn't have that understanding. I don't want a partner that belittles my discontent of soiled diapers at every turn since they never touch diapers. I want a partner that has the diaper in their hand before I ask them to, ready to make a soiled diaper burrito in mere seconds to be tossed into the bin, cause we both feel discruntled by the smell of soiled diapers. When you have shared life experiences, you can comfort and support your partner better.
We all carry our needles into the anthill that is our shared lives.
Being forced or assumed to be a sole provider or having sole responsibility of anything feels lonely, depressing stressfull and awfull in more ways than I can list here.
"Samaistuminen", the capability to do that and how it feels is an incredibly important thing in human relationships.
Thr complete opposite of southern Europeans
Smes like the more north the colder people are the more south the warmer people are
Mediocre manners are the hallmark of a rancid society. I'm from Spain and I wouldn't be caught dead being disrespectful to anyone with children who needed help. My children were taught to always be helpful to those who are in need.
You made vini jr cry
I know finnish people and spanish people and I find spanish people bery rude and the women often bully others.
Finnish people on the other hand are kind and respectful. If you need fake kind words spoken to feel good, you wont enjoy the presencenof a finn.
A "rancid society"? You're completely misunderstanding the Finnish culture, and being very rude about it. Finns give you space _because_ they are polite. They're quiet _because_ they are polite. Just because your cultural norms are different, doesn't mean they're good or ours are bad.
I've been to both finland and spain and experienced culture-shock in neither, our countries are more the same than they are different, people are more the same than different and it's kinda psychotic assuming a bunch of things based on you misunderstanding what a person is saying, should I judge every person from spain based on this ignorant comment? Did she say "we just loooove disrespecting people with children in finland hell yeah!" no. I assume everyone who thumbs up'd your comment also come from really -insert ignorant observation here- cultures and just have to -insert narcissism here- ?
@@kisikisikisi 100%
😐that sounds really sad. So much warmth comes from helping others
Finnish people do help eachother. It's more of a mindset thing, where it's not expected culturally. So when you help you just do it because you want to help, not because you're expected to do so.
@villapulla I guess cause I always want to help, it's a gift to myself too. And if someone helps me, I'm so grateful and smile all day. To be deprived of that sounds sad. But I guess what you mean, is others might be helping because they feel they have to and not because they want to. In places in the US, like Seattle or San Francisco, people will not help anyone, they avoid you and everyone walks around with angry faces.
I experienced that when I invited a Finnish girl to California. I picked up from the airport and tried to help with one of her suitcases, and she refused and dragged both suitcases herself to the parking garage.I even commented jokingly whether she thought that I would ru. Away with her suitcase.
Seems like a fantastic loving society
The northeast in America is similar but I've noticed it changed some maybe over time it will catch on that being kind is most important!
Sometimes it embarrases me when someone even does not say "thank you" when I hold a door for her/him and even more they look at me like I didn`t deserve to do do that. In every, let`s say decent, society it is right thing and it shows you are well-mannered. Finland and Russia are similar in this respect.
😊 Finnish people are really warm. Though I feel they can be quite 🤫😅. I know they have a good heart but it really takes time for them to open up
I think this depends what you have learned also. I have noticed some strange sounding manners from some younger people on social media too or how they explained something about the country or a word which sounded strange. People are individuals too so there might be some differences depending from person to person.
I like that idea. No more holding the doors for gals. No more birthday present and stupid 💐🌷🥀. No more gifts. Just think of the 💵💵 a man can save. I'm moving their .
🇺🇸 🇫🇮
Interesting, I suspect it developed over the years as a defense mechanism to survive. Kind of how prisoners behave.
The last part really reminds me of my father's aunt. She has had 3 different cancer diabetes many surgeries she saw the suicide of her own son the death of her man and still at the age of 85 she is in the fields picking potatoes
Its not a sign of weakness to learn to accept help, it is a humble Action.
I've never resonated with something more than this.
I think we should all practice reciprocity even in small actions vs just chivalry, there’s no reason men can’t hold the door for women AND women can’t hold the door for men. We should all be doing small good turns for each other I feel
I think its more about parental education with younger generations. My grandmother already taught me some basic politeness in social circumstances.
It's not a country of polite and warm people. That's all i can say.
Finns are warm but not in a show off way. I have always get help here and if i have helped someone then suddenly +3 more people are willing to help, too. It is like finns are just shy to bother people and mindeing your own buisness is considered polite.
Yea, you're better off in West with fake smiles and useless chitchat.
@@teoleno4019triggered are you ???You must feel some truth in what they are saying
@@teoleno4019
Cynical people like you are the problem. Smiles for their own sake are great and can brighten someone's day, and that "useless chitchat" has led to more learning experiences than I can recall. Go have another drink, Erkko.
You've completely misunderstood this. Finnish people are quiet and stay out of your way _because_ they are polite. Nothing has as much value as your personal space, and people go out of their way to respect it. Foreigners think we're rude but on the flipside, we think they're rude as well. Neither way is more correct than the other, but saying that Finns aren't polite just tells me you don't know anything about our culture.
😅hi ladies first time finding you both today, interesting chat.
I am an older woman, very independent, it must be part of my DNA 😅
My Mother was Finn, her Father Italian.
But I have never had a chance to visit myself.
I find learning more, about the Culture very interesting 💯👏🫶🌹
Thank you.. so helpful to know!
I'm 100 Finnish. I born here and i live here. 🇫🇮
And?
The common courtesies of older times are long gone here in the States,too. If you try to help strangers you’re probably going to get the cops called on you 😢
Netherlands is similar
When i was in Helsinki i encountered something i found to be absolutely bizarre, it is considered EXTREMELY rude to pat someone's dog even if it walks up to your leg wagging its tail and looking for attention!? This to me was such a severe shock, and i considered it really rude and cold behaviour.. ive never encountered such an aggressive / possessive attitude towards pets in my life. Where i come from it would be considered a bit weird if you didnt say hello and pat a nice dog that wants to meet you.
Holy trust issues!!! 😂
Ask first if it’s okay. Some dogs may react aggressively.
@torpmorp1324 Its got nothing to do with the safety of the person petting the dog at all. This is a finnish cultural norm, it is about the pet being a persons possession and you are strictly not allowed to touch it without explicit permission.
I had an entire crowd of people turn on me at a bar and i had no idea why until i got back to my table and my Finnish friend and i had to retrace step by step my every action like detectives, since i left the table, to work out what the hell happened!? Then i told her i patted this cute little dog next to me, and she almost had a heart attack!! YOU DONT EVER DO THAT SHAWN!!!!!! 😱
Their culture sounds like my personality 😅 I would thrive there ✨️
I have been to some Nordic countries, I did not think they were plain rude, just highly individualistic and leading a very boring way of life for my standards. I could not live there as I need a bit of lively heat and spice to make my days spark. I like my life to be an epic adventure, not an eldery rotine.
It's almost like Independence to a fault.
chivalry, not politeness
Opening a door is chivalry? How the mighty have fallen 😂
@@karolinawww6834Opening the door for women and only women would be seen as chivalry, I think. Being polite to a woman only because they are a woman is what I believe chivalry to be defined as, but I understand your sentiment.
Finns are modern and great. Love from sweden🇸🇪
It’s straightforward, those that needed too much help never made it through winter in the olden days. So now it’s culture for the Nordic’s to value self reliance.
Common courtesy also includes giving someone the opportunity to show their chivalry by helping you.
She looks like a Nordic woman fron the 1600s. She's extremely beautiful
, if she wants to pay my dinner, go ahead!
Sounds incredibly depressing. When i met my Danish gf she was more like that then i latinod my way in and accustomed her to the latun chivalry, she is a much happier person now
I'm Filipino, and this is shockingly different from our culture. Father's walk their babies when the mother is busy (cooking, laundry etc.) And it's quite rude for woman if the man didn't open the door for them. Gentlemen is common here.
Sounds like a paradise for me, an introvert!
In this way of of life, its too easy to get depression, anxiety and so to commit suicide. These society norms of Scandinavian countries explain why they have highest suicide rates.
the story that Scandinavian countries have a high suicide rate is not true, if you look at the statistics they don't have a particularly high suicide rate. However, Finland is not even a Scandinavian country. The Scandinavian countries are Denmark, Sweden and Norway
High suicide rates are common in regions and countries with long, cold winters. Lack of sun exposure is a big factor in seasonal depression.
They don't have the highest suicide rates.