I wish my mind could forget... (a discussion on PTSD)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ธ.ค. 2024
  • I wish my mind could forget... (a discussion on PTSD)

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  • @andyslittlehomestead6705
    @andyslittlehomestead6705  5 หลายเดือนก่อน +56

    Thank y'all for your patience, had a busy day so this went up a little late. I also forgot to mention in the video, thank you so much to everyone who helped with our medical bills. I am so grateful for your kindness. For anyone who's interested in supporting the channel or checking out behind the scenes, take a look at our Patreon. Y'all are the best.
    www.patreon.com/Andyslittlehomestead

    • @denisegaylord382
      @denisegaylord382 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      There is a lot to say about mental health, but I see dark humor of situations very healthy. It means that you can shift your perspective, hence making it easier to, not necessarily understand the situation, but to accept it for what it is. I have been part of that rehash of a crisis with those that were in it with me, and I find it's therapeutic to be able to see it from a different viewpoint from my own perspective. As the old adage says, if you don't laugh about it, you will cry. But sometimes the crying about it gives us the release we from the pain and grief of the situation to be able to laugh about it later. Life is certainly stranger than any fiction created. Keep up the good work. The physical and the mental. They go hand in hand. Many prayers and blessings for your life, and that of your family Andy. 🥰 I will be cheering and praying for all y'all. 🙏❤️🕊

    • @codyerickson1310
      @codyerickson1310 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      If I had the cash I would.

    • @andrejka_talking_out_loud
      @andrejka_talking_out_loud 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ptsd needs to be changed from a "disorder" to the phrase "post traumatic stress RESPONSE" the response to trauma is how anyone normal would respond...

    • @davidwoermansr
      @davidwoermansr 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@denisegaylord382when people question my dark humor I always tell them I have 2 options start crying in my beer again after 20 years sober or cowboy up and embrace the chaos I can't do the first because I can't break a promise to my kids who were the driving force to be sober and I can't cry haven't been able to since I was 9 and fire damaged my tearducts and did massive scaring physically and mentally I'm sure the new cashier at the local DG that doesn't know me thinks I smoke weed all day since I buy eyedrops in bulk online and pick it up when I make the 8 mile trip to town then hurry back to my hermit hole built in a hillside overlooking where 2 rivers meet the lake every sunrise over that area of my family farm sure doesn't suck to watch if I go shopping in the big city 47 miles from home I love to take my pontoon boat and meet my friend at a dock in the closest campground to the dam if we're adding on to or remodeling 1 of my kids houses we pull the pontoon platforms I bought off a neighbor after a tornado flipped them upside-down he sold them to me for the low price of 300 for the small one and 425 for the big one an extra 100 for the trailers that's what it cost to buy them back from the insurance and I have spare parts my son made a new frame for the canopies and built a railing and tarp setup incase we haul sheetrock or bags of quickcrete or other moisture sensitive loads and with vehicle seats pinned in we can carry the whole family and camping gear to our favorite campsite secluded in a nice cove because there isn't a road within over a mile and it's still on public land we meet hikers sometimes hiking the lakeside trail

    • @davidwoermansr
      @davidwoermansr 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@andrejka_talking_out_loudit's come a long way from being called shell shocked but they just as well leave it a disorder so they don't have to research it and relearn how to treat people who seek help since everything else is now a disorder most of which when I was growing up was quickly cured with a quick "reminder" to respect and listen to your elders and having chores and responsibilities every day we only got paid when doing such for the neighbors

  • @andyslittlehomestead6705
    @andyslittlehomestead6705  5 หลายเดือนก่อน +43

    I hope that this video lands in the way I intended it to. I want to clarify that my intent here is to help others who may be struggling, who think they carry stuff alone, and who don't believe there's a way out. I hope that sharing some of what has worked for me is helpful, because it HAS in fact worked. If any of this video came off a different way, I apologize.

    • @PrairieDawnC
      @PrairieDawnC 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you for being a loving leader, Andy. I'm sharing this video with my oldest son, a highway sheriff.

    • @katieNu
      @katieNu 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      You are an amazing person, don't ever forget that. I truly appreciate what you do and the work you put into your videos. This is a message that needs to be heard by many, it's powerful. I'm a gulf war vet and currently work for the Dept. of Corrections in my state. I've had my brush with PTSD, trauma is something we all have to deal with at one point in time or another. The point being is that there are resources and people that share the struggles, don't ever think you have to fight alone. Thank you for your efforts here, you are appreciated by many.

    • @davidwoermansr
      @davidwoermansr 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Last month I hit a milestone I never thought I'd live to see 20 years sober getting out in the middle of nowhere and building my own code violation filled domicile my old sawmill isn't as powerful as yours it's run off a belt pulley of a farmall super MTA my kids have all built around me on the first place I bought next to my salvage yard and tow company I'm happy to be helping them add on as the next generation of shop and critter help arrives and is on the way you are always an inspiration and this one really hit home and was perfect timing I was slipping back towards dark thoughts of only my kids care and that should be enough but now that they're starting families growing the family farm and expanding their businesses now that they have trusted foremen so everything works as smoothly as when they're there so they can dedicate more time towards the farm and cattle I take every chance to provide free daycare but I'm having a slow rough recovery from my 7th spinal surgery in the past 27 years and I'm trying to use as little medication as possible I think I'll try going for a walk or cruise my 65 C20 to town or just around to check how harvest is going for everyone before before it gets hot miss attitude doesn't have vintage air yet I haven't been dressed and off of the property in over 2 months now I get lonely when the kids get busy and I know I'll be alone in my big house from now on since the kids are all out but I was forgetting some people other than family still carethanks for the slap upside the head to remind me to fight the darkness and get use to the loneliness God bless you and yours

    • @dalehoward7829
      @dalehoward7829 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Im not a first responder but i seem to find myself in situations when people are hurt or killed. Just happen to be there. Reaching out is the hardest thing. I never tell people in my life about things.

    • @davidwoermansr
      @davidwoermansr 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@dalehoward7829 you a truck driver because that's another occupation that sees alot of stuff people not paying attention and a truck is stopped by a wreck right in front of them I watched my boss die leaving Atlanta putting his truck in the ditch to miss a family that shot from the left lane to the exit I was a safe enough distance behind him to get stopped and almost on the shoulder before I was hit and demolished my trailer and totaled the tractor the dash cams in our trucks saved his widows insurance and she got paid

  • @southstreetbarbecue7875
    @southstreetbarbecue7875 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +33

    I was a Navy Corpsman (medic) for four years, and a paramedic for 12 years after I got out. Nothing affected me, even when I worked a friend's infant that died from SIDS. I got out of EMS in 2000 and never thought twice about it. Until I was 51 years old, about four years ago. Suddenly I was having dreams where dead patients were standing around my bed demanding to know why I didn't save them. I started talking to a therapist, where I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and ADHD. We tried several medications but they turned me into someone I didn't (and nobody else!) liked. Nowadays I cope by talking about traumatic events. My poor wife is a great listener and lets me unload on her when I need to, and that has helped tremendously.

    • @Wil_Liam1
      @Wil_Liam1 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      What years were you a corpsman ? Did you vacation in Iraq in 90/91 by chance ?

    • @southstreetbarbecue7875
      @southstreetbarbecue7875 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Wil_Liam1 No, I was at Cherry Point working in Immunizations. I never deployed.

    • @Objective-Observer
      @Objective-Observer 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      A religious director might be another option for your Garbage Dumps. They are trained listeners, and could have some coping skills to offer you. Ministers, Priests, Rabbis.. .. even if you don't have a faith, and aren't interested in finding one, Religious Leaders are called to help others, and they might have some survival skills to help you.

  • @anthonybrock-l2m
    @anthonybrock-l2m 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    My next ink: I run for the quiet… You have no idea (or maybe you do) how much I appreciate your candor, your honesty, your willingness to bear your soul. Thank you for giving, Brother.

  • @JamesBreaux-s2d
    @JamesBreaux-s2d 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    Man. My wife departed 2yrs ago. I've been trying to get it together. I'm going to watch this a few more times. You Were Talking to Me. Orangefield Texas. Thank You

    • @markhorrell9213
      @markhorrell9213 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Hi mate, l think l know how yr feeling. I lost mine too about 7 years ago. Had therapy,had friends to bounce off. With everything life throws at us we need to prioritise- just getting through the day with a sense of humour is a great start. Then...there's that role absence to adjust to(changed my morning ritual). My kids helped me heaps...but at the end of the day l'm the bloke that always believed that the glass is half full! We just have to focus on getting through it safely! I love Andy's stuff n have commented heaps.

  • @neilrobinson7843
    @neilrobinson7843 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I understand and agree with every single word you spoke. I don't have PTSD, I'm not a Vet or a first responder, I'm the bloke that's on the end of the phone at 3am in the morning talking someone out of doing bad things to themselves, I'm not using "that" word but I'm sure you understand what I mean..........but that means I have no one to talk to. I have tried talking to friends but then you realise, they don't care. They only wanted to talk to yo to help them out, when you NEED them, they just don't want to know. I have lost some so called "good friends" who really are just users.
    If I can help anyone I will but when the tables are turned everyone runs for the hills.
    Luckily I have a vey supportive family or I would not be here to write this. The mind is fragile and if you need meds "to build that bridge" as you say, take them, .
    Mental health issues do not mean you are weak
    It means you have been strong for too long
    Take care Andy and everyone reading, look after yourselves

  • @y0ur_name_here
    @y0ur_name_here 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Between multiple deployments and many years in emergency services, there are many, many things I'll never unsee. But, I know I'll never forget the people, the families, especially the kids I helped along the way. The bad weights on you, but the good ones do help offset that darkness. Bringing hope helps.

  • @Shield.148
    @Shield.148 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    40 + years as a Volunteer Firefighter, 33 years as an EMT, 12 Years as a career Police Officer. I can relate. My son said that for years after I left my EMS job in NYC, I would scream in my sleep. I have found that talking with people who have shared similar experiences, helps. Time also helps the memories fade. BUT, certain smells, sights, sounds can put me right back there. Alcoholism is prevalent in emergency services because we use it to try and forget. But alcohol doesn't work. I feel it is my purpose as well. On a good note, I delivered 5 babies in the field, and one of them is named after me!

  • @wickedskittle9917
    @wickedskittle9917 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I am not a veteran, but I have PTSD from years of abuse and other traumatic,
    I'm having a horrid night. Can't sleep, my body is in fight of flight no matter how much I tell myself I am sage. I am loved. I am not in danger. Etc.
    And I got on YT to try to relax. I saw this and I clicked instantly.
    I appreciate your honesty and I hope this video reaches everyone it's supposed to.
    Edited to say : I have a two people I could reach out to and they would stay up all night just to sit with me if I asked.....but I cannot for the life of me make them lose sleep because I am feeling crazy. Even though I would never hesitate to sit with them when they've asked....

  • @BettingOnTheOzarks
    @BettingOnTheOzarks 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    I’m a former LEO and had my fair share of f’d up calls. I finally left the profession and went into an entirely different profession. I wouldn’t say I have PTSD. To your point I also had turned to alcohol and one day I woke up and just left it alone. I began to watch your videos (back during the “Andy off Grid” days).
    I moved from the area where I had served and met a neighbor who was a retired police officer. We struck up a friendship and talk alot regarding our issues we’ve seen.
    It does help to talk to people who can relate. Stay strong, Andy. You’re not alone.

  • @GreatWhiteSquid
    @GreatWhiteSquid 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Been a cop and swat team leader for 12 years. There are some things that you just can't unsee, unhear, unsmell, or unexperience. God has been the only thing I've found to take away all the negative. He's the only one that has kept me sane!!! Thank you Lord!!!

  • @cliffpalermo
    @cliffpalermo 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    "borrowing that peace until tomorrow" Andy you are absolutely correct. Stopped drinking over a year ago. Never felt better, never want a drop again. Everything you speak is 100% accurate thanks for sharing many folks need and want to hear this. Im heavy on the caffeine!

  • @mikehoff2593
    @mikehoff2593 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

    Brother my wife and I woke to our 2 month old daughter already with Jesus one morning. And to say a simple prayer or talk with Jesus helps..it absolutely gave us peace enough to sleep day to day for years after. We love you too and God bless you and your family Andy. God is good all the time.

    • @BettingOnTheOzarks
      @BettingOnTheOzarks 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      That sucks, brother. I couldn’t imagine that happening to my own kid. God bless

    • @jesusisGod1434
      @jesusisGod1434 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I’m so sorry. The pain of losing a child is the worst pain there is.

    • @Growing-Our-Retirement
      @Growing-Our-Retirement 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      So sorry, it has to be the greatest loss a person can experience. Stay close and strong, all will be made right in the end. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

    • @JohnPaul-ol5zl
      @JohnPaul-ol5zl 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It's difficult to say one thing that can help with PTSD or any other heavy matters , yet I would suggest keeping busy with hobbies or volunteering. Spare time just doing nothing can be dangerous for the mind after tragic events. Keep your mind occupied with other things. Therapy and counseling is also helpful.
      I pray for all the strangers that read this and hope you get through another day. It might seem that there is no point, but I assure there is. We are each so much more than matter and energy. Our soul shouts our magnificent value.
      God bless and keep fighting the good fight.

    • @Wil_Liam1
      @Wil_Liam1 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I feel you as my 3 month old son was laid down almost 32 years ago for a nap and never woke up again,and I could lie to you and say that you'll get over it,but you never will... You will literally hold the next baby every second that you can,and never leave them alone for even a single second afterward... The pain does get smaller,but it will always be there at the back of your mind on birthdays,holidays, and those last 2 dates... I wish you well,and hope that you don't ever give up children or your partner ,as it drove me and his mother apart permanently, and will add you to my prayers 🙏..

  • @joshuaballew5489
    @joshuaballew5489 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    16 years as a medic and 9 years as a volunteer fireman. I feel like I was made to do this. Very little has bothered me and even those things were passing feelings. The thing that bothers me the most is that it doesn't. Keep on keeping on brother. We do it because few of us can.

    • @southstreetbarbecue7875
      @southstreetbarbecue7875 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I truly hope it remains that way for you, but if it doesn't, talk to someone. There's no good reason to fight the demons alone when they come calling. Even if it's just other people online. My email address is in my TH-cam profile. Feel free to save it and use it if you feel the need.

  • @davidgough1161
    @davidgough1161 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    I feel you, Andy. I went to the grocery store and came home. My wife had put a firearm to her forehead and pulled the trigger. I found her when I returned home. One of my dogs was standing on her chest, barking, wanting to go out. We all feel depression and anxiety, I feel the same way you do. I ride my bicycle to give myself endorfins. I have sought help and rely on some anti depressants. I try to help others and make things better for others, everything helps. I try to leave the past behind and work forward and have friends to talk to. It all works.

  • @Hochodo
    @Hochodo 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Your a real one Andy, it's weird to have so much love in my heart for a total stranger....technically I'm the stranger cause you put your life out there for us, and it's real and it's raw and it's better than any tv show someone can produce, that's the great thing about social media gives the average joe a platform, and your doing good stuff with yours dude been watching since the beginning on Facebook, and every video I like you more and more no homo😂 your genuine and honest and hard working and love to help the community, everyone has their struggles in life and not everyone beats those struggles but it sure is nice to see a guy killin it with all his ups and downs and just owning it, this video about ptsd has me thinking about my life and things I need to change and it's not even related to ptsd, thank you Andy,

  • @PhyllisHildenbrand
    @PhyllisHildenbrand 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I am so proud of you for staying sober! For yourself, for Carlos and your boys ❤️❤️❤️ In my lifetime, I was the wife protecting my kids from my husband in his drunk rage’s. It took a 5 yr old grandson to sober him up. The last 15 years of his life was completely sober. He self medicated his PTSD from his Vietnam days. Your work on the land reminds me of our good days together.

  • @firehousecustomfab3286
    @firehousecustomfab3286 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Andy, I've been a firefighter and EMT for 18 years. I've lost count of the lives I've seen lost or the suicide victims that I've had to recover. I've done CPR on my mom and been with my dad as he took his last breath. I have struggled for a long time and my sister thinks I'm the strongest person in the world because of what I have been able to do, but I hate the quiet times. And I've stayed moving to get through a lot of it. God has blessed me with a great family and they have been a rock for me. The demons are real but God and family and our"tribes" help. God bless you brother.

  • @Dagrond
    @Dagrond 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    I for one can be glad (silver linings) you have this "fireman's disorder", as I am glad for those with "policeman disorder", "civil servant disorder", "nurses aid disorder" and a hundred others. Our communities cannot run without you all. Thank you.

  • @ddh1480
    @ddh1480 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I was an alcoholic for 10+ years. I watched my dad die in the passenger seat of my truck and it truly gave me ptsd and all the fun that goes with it. You are right about escaping it and shutting your mind off to those things with alcohol. Your videos were such an impact on me to get sober and other things. I’m now over a year and a half alcohol free and it has changed my life for the better. We all have tough days but dealing with issues head on is so much more manageable sober. I thank you Andy for what you do and to talk about things that are hard to talk about for a lot of us.

    • @PrairieDawnC
      @PrairieDawnC 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Congratulations on your sobriety!

  • @TheUnWorthyOne10
    @TheUnWorthyOne10 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I'm a combat vet, I served 2 tours 1 iraq and 1 Afghanistan. I normally don't comment but what you said hit home. We never lost a man during either of my deployments, it was always after the fight that we lost men. Thinking back on all the bad things that happened to us and how we pulled through to lost after the fighting was done is hard. PTSD is the number 1 killer of soldiers. Just by you making this video I know will reach people that need to hear this. You know as well as anyone that people like us don't normally reach out. I got lucky because of my family, but without them I know I wouldn't be here today. Keep doing what your doing andy. I really enjoy watching your videos they bring joy in my life.

  • @AaronLardie
    @AaronLardie 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    You would have to be blind to miss all the messages before this one explaining their understanding and ability to relate to your message. They are not voicing it for themselves, but to show how you, Andy, help inspire us to continue to move. I do not want to expound on the ways you have motivated me, but please accept the weight of knowing you have that effect on people,...building code violations and all. God be with you, sir!

  • @mbf347
    @mbf347 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Well said Andy. This won’t be a highly viewed video, but it SHOULD be. Keep it up.

  • @justinbuehrig3405
    @justinbuehrig3405 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Thank you so much for inserting this content randomly throughout your normally scheduled chicken house construction.
    It helps to hear others, such as yourself share your struggles and daemons to know that many of us are not alone in our struggles. Don’t always know what I’ll get out of your videos but I do take something from them.

  • @allenhaney9439
    @allenhaney9439 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    God bless. I’m an old Marine and I found hard mindless work helped. I split wood 8 hours a day for over three months it kept me on this earth. Now when it gets hard I go to the deep woods sometimes for a few days sometimes weeks but it works.

  • @melodeeplath8002
    @melodeeplath8002 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Excellent video to post. People NEED this !
    Just talking it thru is so real to life.
    You are my Hero. Definitely helping ❤

  • @michaelloomer9851
    @michaelloomer9851 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Thanks for being real. That’s hard to find in this Internet world. Everything is happy and growing in sunshine roses. But that’s rarely the way it actually is so thanks for sharing it even though it’s uncomfortable. Not only you by running into burning buildings, but you’re helping people you can’t see or touch with your heartfelt stories and sharing your experiences thank you

  • @TriedTrue
    @TriedTrue 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    God bless this video and comments section. You are all worthy of healing, hope, and Salvation. I beat 24yrs of addiction so I know it's possible with God. I pray complete healing and restoration over all of your minds in Jesus mighty name. Amen

  • @jonpatzer5747
    @jonpatzer5747 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My father became a first responder and a volunteer fireman later in life and he changed because of what he had seen and dealt with and his way of dealing with it have been to help with families who need a little help and now he makes wooden stools for little kids to help them reach the sink or countertops. Gives him joy

  • @sharonandjosephaldridge4698
    @sharonandjosephaldridge4698 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you.
    I was on a code team and worked in a few ICUs. I prayed a lot and it helped. We also make laughter in weird situations that most folks won't understand.
    My son was a soldier. He self treated as you did and that didn't work out. But now I'm believing God is working all things out for good because I love Him and He loves my son.
    So everyday, I am thankful for the hope you share. Love y'all.

  • @angelabaril104
    @angelabaril104 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Loved seeing your smiling face today. PTSD is not easy, I have been there for many years. It is a battle each and every day and without God I would not be here. Love to all and God bless.

  • @samuelbashans3810
    @samuelbashans3810 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I spent 26.5 years in the Fire Service. I've seen alot of things as well. Alot of things I can't unsee. God bless my friend

  • @tundraluv
    @tundraluv 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Brother, these are the video that help fullfill your purpose and truly speak to your core audience. Thank you. I will be sending this to some fellow Vets who I think need to hear it.

  • @DerKaiser7485
    @DerKaiser7485 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Andy, I started following you around the beginning of your video journey. I started because I am a city boy who was learning how to homestead with my now ex-wife. I've learned so much from you over this journey, but the biggest lesson was not to give up. Believe it or not you helped me stay sober through a heartwrenching infidelity and divorce. I didn't give up on the homestead and more importantly I didn't give up on myself and God. I've recently joined my VFD and am in the process of getting carded. I'm fighting an inner dialog every day that I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, and I'm not likable. I wish I could financially help support you but all I can do for you at this time is pray for you and keeping pushing forward.

  • @taylorgirone1214
    @taylorgirone1214 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Andy, as someone who watches regularly, I'd like to say that no matter what the content, there is always something to take home from each video, weather it's a chance to see something from a different perspective, or something I can use later in life. We appreciate your content, and continue looking forward to more.

  • @DirtyPawsGarage
    @DirtyPawsGarage 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    12:34 fucked me up. Thank you. seriously. I'm a veteran that's been absolutely struggling recently, your videos help, alot. Thanks for changing lives.

  • @wallywallydingbat
    @wallywallydingbat 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Brother PTSD can absolutely be a culmination of repeated exposure, it doesn't have to be a single event. Take that from someone who has PTSD as a result of cumulative exposures to traumatic and life threatening events, turned alcoholic, now a sober alcoholic. Learning different coping strategies in therapy is awesome but in my experience, you'll never return to who you were beforehand. Once seen and done, it can never be unseen or undone. Love you man.

    • @wallywallydingbat
      @wallywallydingbat 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Also my strike rate is also zero on CPR so don't feel bad.

  • @joeydonahoo8900
    @joeydonahoo8900 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    All love Andy, you help so many people!

  • @paulfreudenberg165
    @paulfreudenberg165 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Im in no way a religious man but listening too you is inspirational. 2 years ago i was in a huge car wreck (non fault) a old lady with dementia T-boned me at a junction after she skipped a red light. As a result she passed away. I now live in constant physical and mental discomfort, fear and upset. Felt alone in this as police ended any after care, or follow up as too my health and well being. In the UK we have a tribe known as "Andys man club" where i have found solace and some relief from others involved in similar trauma. Thank you for sharing x paul.

  • @RyanHaney-f9q
    @RyanHaney-f9q 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I understand the quiet you’re looking for after losing my little girl. Archery is one way I found that stops the newsreel in my head of that day. Needless to say it’s worth a try.

    • @PrairieDawnC
      @PrairieDawnC 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I know people who knit for the same reason. An activity that requires intense concentration will keep your head off of the bad stuff.

  • @Dawndreams174
    @Dawndreams174 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I relate super heavily to when you talk about not being wired to ask for help and on the medication aspect. Being upfront I am not a vet or first responder but a victim of childhood abuse. I was recommended this video my cousin, a marine who also found a shrink and pulled me in for an evaluation after he noticed I was constantly staring into space. Its still hard to believe I even have a c-ptsd diagnosis as I thought that was something only vets and first responders or those in life of death tragedies get not someone who experienced events over a longer period of time. Thankyou for opening up about your experiences. The medications do feel like a life sentence im on 3 different pills and they all make me feel different side effects. 2 anti depressants an anti psychotic , tranquillizer, and off label mood stabilizer. The appointments also feel like they don't help and Ive been hospitalized 5 different times, been to a rehab facility for 6 months, then been partial hospitalized for 10 weeks a few times. I have met first responders in the mental ward and the jokes and understanding have been the only thing that made me feel heard. Still what I went through feels too mundane compared to their stories but truly am thankful for those who speak about what they go through in a real manner and are happy to help.

  • @AY-vc5dg
    @AY-vc5dg 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I am thankful for you and your transparency. As one of those silent sufferers, it's definitely God Who helps me get those inner conversations quiet. His Word is what keeps me on the right side. Thank you again, Andy, for being the light shining in darkness. Love ya and the whole family.

  • @bradenmoon9
    @bradenmoon9 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Hey Andy, I love your videos and your purpose, this new format is needed more now than ever 👊. I'm also 5 years sober, last drink 6/15/19, keep pushing forward brother!

  • @Namdrac
    @Namdrac 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for addressing the underlying mentality behind addiction. The "borrowing peace from tomorrow" is a beautiful way of thinking about addiction and how it can compound after long stints of indulgence.
    I'll be sober from alcohol for 5 years in October 3rd. Having quit in October of 2019, I'm confident that's the only reason I survived the unreal mental stress of managing a restaurant through all things Covid.
    A tribe... I wish i had one but despite the extra time it's cost me on my personal development, it's put a spotlight on a quality i never knew that i had. I had dozens of gardens (people) i was watering (caring for) but when i quit and had to take/make time for myself for a change, few checked on my plants and even fewer spared any water...
    Instead of making me bitter, my revenge is being better. A better father, person, friend and Christian.
    I've never thought about the accumulated trauma of a career first responder. Pointing at every house like a drywall guy but for a very different reason.

  • @dougmcghee2699
    @dougmcghee2699 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Great Men do tough jobs Bull...
    Stay strong for yourself and your family...
    Glad you've kept your mind stronger than the stations we face...
    Excellent video...
    Keep up the great job with your videos...

  • @patriciaramirez5632
    @patriciaramirez5632 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Andy, i just want to say that you can sit and talk for these 15 to 20 minutes every week and that is fine with me. You have been blessed with an amazing ability to talk about horrible things, and make it sound like its just a realistic part of life we have to accept, and not beat ourselves up for accepting it. You have my full attention when you come on. Glad you're starting to feel better. God bless you.

  • @roburquhart2350
    @roburquhart2350 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Andy , thanks for being real. It's helping me realize demons are just a fact of life. I'm not the only one with them. With God taking lead I can find my way back 🧡

  • @jjhowl
    @jjhowl 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I had a good friend take his life 4 weeks ago. No one saw it coming,he was a great guy who would help anyone out. We were all shocked when it happened. I think of him every day. RIP Scott.

  • @pghguyinva
    @pghguyinva 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Spent 12+ years as a FF/Medic I've seen some horrific 💩
    I never understood why I'd do anything for anyone but could never ask for help myself
    A cpl times ive asked only to be let down because it took me too long to not expect what you'd do from other people
    At the 4:15 mark i felt like you were talking to me & that hit me like a ton of bricks
    Thank you for posting this
    I love you brother & god bless

  • @joannedesbiens4981
    @joannedesbiens4981 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I never realized you were on TH-cam. I’ve always watched your videos through Facebook. Now I am watching them through TH-cam and I always loved your videos. Keep up the good work you’re helping so many people.

  • @MC-kx9kp
    @MC-kx9kp 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I'm cut from a rough, rough place and thankyou for sharing this material with us. My childhood felt like a lifetime or two. Nearly 40 now and my head is a fair bit quieter than it used to be. Jeez your words ring so mutually with thoughts and conversations I've had, with people and in my head. Peace ✌️

  • @jefflocke9029
    @jefflocke9029 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I'd rather listen to you all night talking than listen to a eulogy about you for 15 minutes! Salute brother!

  • @christinastewart9830
    @christinastewart9830 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I really love how you speak to us with a true and honest heart, Andy. I think that's what drew me to your channel.
    I am not a veteran, firefighter, or anything like that. I'm a child rape survivor. I have my momments, and I fight through them. I have never gone through therapy or whatever, but I have talked to a few awesome friends. I have gone to some classes at my old church that also helped.
    But honestly, people like you talking and saying what they've gone through, and then I think of how I can relate to it in some of the things (feeling wise) that I'm going through or have gone through. I think you are a wonderful person to put it all out there like you do. Thank you. You have been through hell and are making it so that others who are in that same hell and are struggling can know that there is a safe place to come and watch and not feel like they're alone. God bless you and your channel, Andy. Thank you.❤

  • @Giveitatrygarage
    @Giveitatrygarage 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Totally understand what your saying being a first responder (23 yrs law enforcement & 15+ years paramedic/firefighter) we see and deal things that most people just don't understand. Some things will always stay with you for life

  • @Redneckemtb
    @Redneckemtb 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Sounds like your first call and mine where very, very, simulator. I sure you will never know how much I needed to hear this today, but thank you.

  • @scarecrowsrc
    @scarecrowsrc 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    As a marine without any friends “because I changed to much “ my life is being stuck in my head most of the time…thanks for being my long distance friend Andy and keeping me going and helping me with my depression love ya and god bless thanks again and for taking the to talk to us about your depression and sharing your progress with us…it helps it really does

  • @Super1200custom
    @Super1200custom 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Very good message and thank you for yur service i spent 20 years in the service and I’ve been a volunteer ff and first responder since 1996 keep up the good messages that hits home for me a lot and I do appreciate it taking time to address those concerns more needs to be done and many more need to open up and seek help even when it’s hard

  • @Hobocreekfarm
    @Hobocreekfarm 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    God bless you , Andy!

  • @Liberty_DIY
    @Liberty_DIY 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    "I wish my mind could forget what my eyes have seen"...............Me too, Brother, Me too.

  • @andrewt7797
    @andrewt7797 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Thank you for those wise words. Glad to hear you're feeling better. All the best man

  • @CarlBeckerson-f5l
    @CarlBeckerson-f5l 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for your openness. I have trouble talking to people about my demons. My quiet time is on the lawn tractor, God Bless

  • @davidcunningham00
    @davidcunningham00 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Much respect and love, any time anyone needs always reach out, lost my brother in march because of Suicide.

  • @kennethsonier1766
    @kennethsonier1766 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Good evening from Cape Cod 🐋 it's important to share your problems with others. Through all these little talks that we've had Andy you've made me sit down and take a couple times. I thank you for the effort that you put in and for sharing with all of us. God bless you and your family 👍✌️🇺🇲

  • @farmernledell
    @farmernledell 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Andy first thanks for your service, I mean that while hearted both fire and military THANK YOU next your helping those of us with out PTSD to get a glimpse into what our loved ones are living through ❤

  • @mattashby3642
    @mattashby3642 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Great video to put out. I was in the fire service, and can to an extent understand what you're going through.
    Good to talk about it.

  • @mohillbilly5596
    @mohillbilly5596 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Keep on keeping on.
    I was on volunteer fire department for a while. Some things you don’t forget.
    God bless you and yours.

  • @helengesell2668
    @helengesell2668 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you, Andy. I appreciate your speaking the truth and the reality of it all.

  • @shawnmay7264
    @shawnmay7264 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Amen brother. Thanks for sharing. I look forward to each of your videos. Keep on keeping on.

  • @wyattbarbour7886
    @wyattbarbour7886 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You're a man's man bro. Love and God bless you Andy.

  • @bburns221987
    @bburns221987 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Been watching your videos for awhile 1st on Facebook now on both. Thank you for making this video. Will not elaborate more, but thank you.

  • @codyerickson1310
    @codyerickson1310 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    As a functioning alcoholic I feel ya man.
    Thanks for your honest words. Id rather drink than take those meds and be inside my own head. Working on getting better but it's a journey.

    • @PrairieDawnC
      @PrairieDawnC 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      There's no shame in asking for help when you're ready for it.

    • @codyerickson1310
      @codyerickson1310 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@PrairieDawnC The problem is I don't think I'll ever be ready.
      It sucks.

  • @dougmcmillan4602
    @dougmcmillan4602 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I hear ya little brother. Not a rescue worker but just real life experiences. Some close to me and traumatic at a very young age, but one I witnessed that was very bad. I was told by my step mother not to tell anyone I had seen it. You didn't go to therapists back then. Don't know that it would've helped but has bothered me my whole life. I was 13 at the time. This helped me by getting it off my chest. I hope you find the kind of peace that will help you. I enjoy your humor, as it's similar to my own. Good luck!

  • @jeffpeters1014
    @jeffpeters1014 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’ve seen some horrific things over the course of my career, time, consulting and the love and support of my wife gets me through the hardest times. If help isn’t offered, and it rarely is, reach out and get some. Be well sir 🙏

  • @audiebodine519
    @audiebodine519 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Yes sir God bless.

  • @crempel596
    @crempel596 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Condolences on the loss of your friend, Andy.

  • @garythomas315
    @garythomas315 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You have a wonderful mix of videos and you are doing God's work with every video. Do not give up and keep talking it helps you process.

  • @matthewcohen3521
    @matthewcohen3521 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    So much of this resonated with and was relatable to me that I wish I had the time to list every part I liked. So many good lessons and points that a lot of the world should hear but sadly probably won't. For a lot of people it's just nice to see sometimes that we're not the only ones that come away from these experiences thinking the same thing.

  • @justinmills8084
    @justinmills8084 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    God is the key to life. You have a way that brings a lot of people to like and understand your wit and sense of humor. Most people don't have that, I know I don't. Keep up the good work 👏

  • @kullinalldredge8499
    @kullinalldredge8499 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I hope your able to continue making content.
    These videos are always a motivation. Weather it's a serious one like this, or one of the goofy ones.
    "Keep on keeping on"

  • @marksanford9556
    @marksanford9556 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I work in a prison and have for a long time now. I can relate brother. I’ve seen some shit I wish I didn’t. I love the videos man. Times get tough but you’re doing a great thing.

  • @justinmills8084
    @justinmills8084 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I totally agree with you about seeing a therapist short-term having goals in mind and moving on. My wife has been seeing one for years, and I went with her a few times. The points I was making the therapist would flat out lie to my wife in helping support my wife's behavior. I showed her the proof in what my disagreement was, and SHE would still lie to my wife.
    I have seen them for myself dealing with stuff, and after 5 are 6 visits, they would tell me that they thought I was on the right track and say that they didn't want to waste my money. So if down the road I would like to come back to make an appointment.
    Frustrating that a Dr would convince my wife to keep coming back for years. My wife is not that messed up. She is the happiest woman I have ever known. I spend a lot of time with her, and she is pretty open with me. I have never lied to her, and she knows that. After 23 years of marriage, I think a person would know their spouse. 🤔

  • @dougmcghee2699
    @dougmcghee2699 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Been doing a great job Bull...
    Keep up with your program...
    I've learned a few by watching...

  • @willemdevilliers2296
    @willemdevilliers2296 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It is easy for people to say 'talk to someo e' have no idea what is going on in your mind. Sometimes you can not talk, you just keep it in. I know what you are going through¡
    Just keep your hands in Gods hand He can take all of us through it,!
    Love you brother!

  • @chrissmith2744
    @chrissmith2744 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Video hits hard..its a grim realitythat ppl dont understand.. 19 years as firefighter/emt in the same area that I live. It hits hard. They're some roads I refuse to drive down during certain hours cause I don't want to relive what I seen. See ppl you know in their worst days of their life. Pronouncing someone u know. U have to come up with your on way to coop with the issues when it's brought up. Like u said "dark humor" we all be in the south wing with our padded rooms.
    Just gotta keep on keeping on. The satisfaction of helping someone in their time of need is worth the weight I carry day to day.

  • @hoseman1
    @hoseman1 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I am happy to hear you can quiet the inner voices, they can be relentless, and most people don't understand them or the effect they can have on you.

  • @MrCfors
    @MrCfors 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Andy. It’s so true that people do not think of first responders dealing with ptsd Even then no one stops to think of tow operators. I was one in the lower mainland of British Columbia. Aka the greater Vancouver area. Tow operators are sometimes first on the scene and deal with almost the same messed up stuff everyone else sees. Sometimes worse. This shit I have seen I would gladly pay my left nut to forget. I have had an elderly woman die in my arms after a traffic accident that just happened that I came across while out looking for a car. It screws me up every time I think about it or hear a sink drain gurgling the same way she did before dying. I’ve pulled bodies out of vehicles because the emt’s and coroners could not get to the scene. I could go on and I was only one for 8 years. Imagine what a lifer sees. However, it has had a good effect on my outcome of life, now I enjoy the little things , life can be over in the blink of an eye, so enjoy it. Eat the bacon, act goofy to get people to laugh cause you never know when it’s your time. Thank you for sharing your experiences and nightmares. It does help to talk about them. Please keep
    Up the good work, thank you for your service as a fireman and someone who brings a smile and laughs to others in pain. If your ever up this way in northwester Ontario, I’ll take ya fishing.

  • @jonpatzer5747
    @jonpatzer5747 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Stay strong Andy and God bless you and your family

  • @jessramirez6696
    @jessramirez6696 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    God bless you and your family amen ❤️🙏🙏

  • @gina5191
    @gina5191 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I agree with what you said...
    Stay strong you got this

  • @benpersinger4600
    @benpersinger4600 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great video Andy! Thanks a bunch for sharing what has worked for you and bringing attention to mental health and to the giving folks who can’t/don’t ask for help. There is so much stigma around mental health and it really doesn’t need to be that way. We all have our demons and the world would be a lot better place if we supported each other in getting those things worked out vs burying them.
    Good luck on your health and future projects!

  • @ChrisMathews-ld8wt
    @ChrisMathews-ld8wt 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I have been out of the fire service since 2008 due to health reasons. Losing that ability to have those brothers and sisters in the service to talk to is for sure taken for granted. The longer I am out the more issues I seem to have with the nightmares and flashbacks. I would go back into the firehouse today if I could just to have those people to talk to again. The ones that really know what we go through. When you are out the world seems to get smaller and smaller making harder to cope day by day.

  • @bryanbrown1788
    @bryanbrown1788 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you again!, for being this person on the tube!!!

  • @JohnPaul-ol5zl
    @JohnPaul-ol5zl 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It's difficult to say one thing that can help with PTSD or any other heavy matters , yet I would suggest keeping busy with hobbies or volunteering. Spare time just doing nothing can be dangerous for the mind after tragic events. Keep your mind occupied with other things. Therapy and counseling is also helpful.
    I pray for all the strangers that read this and hope you get through another day. It might seem that there is no point, but I assure there is. We are each so much more than matter and energy. Our soul shouts our magnificent value.
    God bless and keep fighting the good fight.

  • @tombob671
    @tombob671 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Andy you're in my prayers 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

  • @jasonpeters6032
    @jasonpeters6032 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks Andy. You're typical code violation videos are pretty great but these one off - more true to life videos - mean a lot to me. They got me to realize there are others going through life too and sometimes it's ugly but its probably going to be ok. Keep up the good fight bud.

  • @jameslevron8295
    @jameslevron8295 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My dude,you’re a fucking inspiration and very much a role model in my 30 year old life.I started watching you via facebook i don’t know 2ish years ago,because it was funny and you had a super dope fucking jhon Deere with the narrow front end and I digress.heating you speak on these topics,all of your introspective videos,not just this particular one,is just.fucking .thank you,genuinely.its not simply having a common ground or agreeing with your opinion or process etc.lim rambling
    In summation i really want to thank you for what you do.for your content.as well as the wisdom imparted I genuinely hope to someday shake your hand, i don’t know man this went way longer than intended but i do hope you read it and i hope you can continue to be a hero and role model to others in the same way you are for me

    • @jameslevron8295
      @jameslevron8295 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      And if you ever find yourself in south Louisiana,I do hope to be lucky enough to meet you

    • @jameslevron8295
      @jameslevron8295 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This is Probably the first comment of left on a video in at least a year and definitely the very first of this nature and ideally me pointing that out reinforces the sincerity and gravity of my statements
      The utmost respect to youse
      And as well good day to youse

  • @brandonscott2851
    @brandonscott2851 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for all you have done and still do to help people I love watching your videos keep it up stay strong and God bless

  • @irisboots9816
    @irisboots9816 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Andy, I appreciate your candor and honesty. I have enjoyed your videos throughout your experiences. The mental health struggles are real and I have always told the first responders I know that they are heroes. No one will ever know what horrors they have dealt with. The story about the lady at the end was the lighthearted cumulative of the video 😂 It just puts things into perspective. Keep on working on yourself. We all appreciate you ❤

  • @austinbullock9274
    @austinbullock9274 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This hits home so hard. I'm used to everyone reaching out to me...but me reaching out seems impossible sometimes

  • @bobbywright5983
    @bobbywright5983 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Honestly, I love these videos that you do that.Have more to do with mental health and things going on in your mind. The other videos are good too but I really love Seeing people talk about what's going on in their minds.its really good to see and hear about.thank you so much