What to Look for In a Trauma Therapist (4-Video Compilation)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ม.ค. 2024
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Many people with Childhood PTSD have tried countless treatments for trauma and still haven't found what worked. Could therapy be right for you? That may depend on WHO you choose to help you -- the wrong therapist could send you off course. In this 4-video compilation I teach you how to know what to look for (and what to avoid) when you choose a therapist, and things to consider when you're wondering if talk therapy is the right choice for you.
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Dear Anna, your free content has taught me and helped me more than any paid therapy service I have had in over 20 years. You have definitely found your calling in this world. Thank you for everything. I look forward to your class on the 18th (or maybe 23rd) because I'm definitely one of those people who has always under-earned.
I'm so glad the channel has been helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy
"Choosing the wrong people to help you heal from childhood trauma is ironacally a very traumatized thing to do".
So true! 😊
It's actually catastrophic at times. 16 1/2 years later and well over $100,000 paid, I realize my psychologist never believed in or understood CPTSD and had no interest in treating what she doesn't believe in. I blame myself as I continued but I was in a traumatic attachment relational pattern. Of course the money is gone and I can never get any of it back but I have virtually no return on that heavy investment. I wish I knew then, when I started therapy, what I know now in terms of what is so critical for finding a safe therapist. Mine was not safe at all. I feel wrecked.
I have received more healing by listening to you and employing the daily practice than any other healing modality I’ve tried. My CPTSD was off the rails whenever I was in therapy. You are by far the least dangerous people helper I have encountered on my healing journey and I’ve had several. Seriously grateful for you and your work here, Anna!🧚🏻💕
Anna, I’ve been in therapy for many years, and I fled from my last therapist when I realized she didn’t understand me at all. It was traumatic, and I felt betrayed. I have a new therapist who’s excellent, and I’m making progress. But you have helped me tremendously, and you continue to help me. You are not dangerous. Keep up your good work, and thank you!
Psychiatrist recently diagnosed me with major depressive disorder, CPTSD and maybe a personality disorder. I’ve always been told that I’m a good worker but the thing I struggle with is a big lack of self esteem and I get bullied (exactly like your video “How People Can Tell You Have Low Self Esteem). I keep quitting jobs because of this. I spent hundreds of dollars telling my life story to my psychologist. One of her answers was “try saying this to the bully”. It would be great if I had a bit of self esteem to begin with!!!
I’ve told my parents “I’ve signed up for a course with “The Crappy Childhood Fairy” to try and fix myself. You can imagine how that went down… like a lead balloon 😂
I'm very glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
You have helped me more than any therapist I've seen over the years. I think you're amazing at what you do and I thank you. ❤️
I'm so glad the channel has been helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I am a counselor in training and I totally agree with these methods. It reminds me of the biopsychosocial model. This channel gives a holistic approach like this model. NO one has a monopoly on healing. I ditched therapy in the beginning myself but now know I had to deal with dysregulation issues myself.
My experience with therapy has been similar, but I have found a trauma-informed councillor doing Compassionate inquiry, which is a technique developed by Gabor Mate and is based on very similar premises Anna talks about 😊
Love Gabor Mate
When I’ve said my therapist just isn’t a match for me, I’ve been told that I’m difficult, I’m being too personal, i need to give it more time, my expectations are too high, among others that all say I’m wrong. I gave up. I either hide from the world or want to just leave it. You’re a smart Fairy, I wish I knew you.
I have been doing the daily practice over a week and I had a trigger/emotional dysregulation during a visit to my ex husband's house, I did an emergency writing, it helped me come back down to my body and let go of what's out of my control, and I left the house before my codependent self took over. I'm pretty sure this avoided me dissociating and creating more unnecessary problems.
That's awesome. I keep my pen & paper with me, too! Anna helps so many of us!
Thank you for everything you do Anna. We are so lucky to have you.
Anna you have helped me. Didn't have childhood abuse. Think maybe it's because of some ot John Bradshaw 's work or teaching
Better Help sounded so perfect for me until I realized that I couldn't afford it. I am so grateful for you and have learned so much that has helped me you are truly such a gift to me and so many others thank you.🥰💖💗🌸✨
I'm so glad the channel has been helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I was with a counsellor for 6 years. There were red flags, but I felt dependant on her. She was controlling, and sometimes passive aggressive, often unprofessional, and didnt actually have much knowledge or any strategies. Then she kept trying to persuade me i wasnt autistic, even after a psychiatrist said it was highly likely, and the AQ suggested I was, and from my reading about it, it made sense of my life. I definitely am, and her reasons were incorrect or based on outdated myths about autism.
Then, one session she shamed me for maybe 10 minutes about something i did that she disagreed with. It was traumatic. I told her i wanted to stop seeing her but then i went back a couple of times because she said there should be a winding down session or something. She used these sessions to gaslight me about what happened.
Ive since realised she is narcissistic (like my whole family), and she kept me under her control for her ego, and because she knew she could get a lot of money out of me. I think narcissistic people prey on autistic people a lot.
I am seeing a new therapist now, who does Internal Family Systems, and she is professional and caring, but i dont know if im getting much benefit, and its expensive. I dont know whether to make a complaint about my previous therapist. I worry she is being abusive to other vulnerable people, and trying to diagnose people like a psychiatrist (a really bad one).
I actually think id be better off watching more of these videos, Dr Ramanis videos, and also Therapy in a Nutshell ones. Ive learn a lot more from these than from any IRL therapist.
I dont know if you can read all of these,Anna, but thank you for these videos. 😊
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. You're in the right place.
Nika@TeamFairy
I have had numerous therapists not give me anything. Only wanted me to talk and never gave anything. Majority of them said "this is how therapy works, you just need to talk about it".
Thank you so much for your dedicated work)
Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Oh my goodness, I have had the same experience when I talk at all about any past trauma, I get “sick” every time. I have had many therapists but not in many years. Because every time I tried it made me “sick”. I never understood why, I always thought it was because I was weird and could not be really seen or understood.
We understand as few others can. You're in the right place :) -Calista@TeamFairy
You are so right!!!
My problem is that just telling my counselor about my childhood trauma makes me relive it , so what was well suppressed now has been dug up and poked, so now Im depressed for days because of reliiving the trauma, so I know I could just not talk about it, but then how does my counselor know what Im dealing with?
I had a gentleman help me to a point and then it became just a repetitive cycle and I realized I got trapped. In the beginning, he was great and it was what I needed. But I stayed way past my comfort zone and I ended up just being fused to his couch for a long time.
He was always good with me (at least I thought)
But at the same time we were covering the same ground over and over and he points out things in a way. But it was becoming a compulsive habit where I’d go, do the work in his office and go home like nothing happened.
He was good to a point, yet there always felt like some promise of him being a good friend. And you’re right, I got way too attached and he enjoyed the back and forth we have. Dare I say, he did it out of Boredom?
It took me making a great friend to help me take care of myself and have my self therapy in my own way which helped me let go.
And thank you sm for saying there is an end in sight for the work. That never happened for me until I ended therapy and did things on my own.
I have been lucky that I have found therapists that "get me".... I have grown quite selective when looking for friends who "get me"...
Thank you for explaining your experience and even more so for service. I dont feel it would be helpful to share in the comments the details of what i have been dealing with durring my current 5year running episode of care within a local community based behavioral heath orgasnization. But i will say i have been asking/expecting a trauma based treatment for my C-PTSD. Although Ive been told that would be one of our main foucuses, no one has even touched on my trauma. Ive been shuffled around, building a theraputic relationship with a therapist, just to then have my case transfered to another one, where i start the get to know you process again, get somewhat comfortable, and been transfered again to someone new. In the last 5 years i have had 9 different therapists. I have been putting my ALL into working towards my mental health recovery. I have made progress in certain areas, but my main priblems remain. I feel like until someone helps me work on my traumas, i will never feel the relief i so crave. I feel unfixable. Like no one can help me. Like no one wants to try to help me. I feel unworthy of the treatment i know that i desperatly need. I feel like i am nothing more than screwed up and i shoyld just accept that this is me & learn to live with it.
A very accurate way to describe dysregulation...
Plus, we must have a flashing light on our heads, that we draw people like this, even a therapist. Blows my mind!.
Thankyou
Thanks for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
When one does not respect your boundaries... You have to walk away... Nuff said...
Anna the therapists I saw only listened but did not provide guidance to really heal. One was just a nosey listener and gossipy. Therapist nowadays are just not effective in my opinion. I know FOR A FACT many are just as if not more troubled than their patients. Ill never go back. Recovery rooms and 12 step and your channel and work is working for me❤😊
Glad you are here.
Nika@TeamFairy
Went to see a counselor, who gave me red flags, but when in 2020-2021 I brought my daughter in with me, and she became unprofessional and stayed attached to my daughter unethically and damaged me. Still have no idea how to report her. I am glad I found a better fit that has helped me through the damage this last one did, but not sure how my daughter and I will ever heal our relationship with the past one's "hand in the pot".
I think that I have made progress with boundaries over the years...
I understand there's a lot of good therapist of the opposite sex. However I just believe it's best to stay with a same sex therapist so these types of things don't happen!
Gentle reminder that queer people exist.
It may depends on you trauma/culture/personal challenge.
My therapist is a woman sligtly younger than me (a man). It worked really well from the begining, i feel very lucky.
My main issue is with my father (in some extend both my codependent parents).
CCF and Patrick Tehan are good ressources i shared with my therapist (who is not fluent in english).
She said she was happy we worked like a team, it was seemless.
I hope the best for you.
Not necessarily true! I am female and fell in love with my female therapist!
@@ylana4444 Yes, I should have included if you're gay not to go to the sex that you're attracted to!
If it is any cold comfort to her,I wouldn't be a bit surprised if her ex therapist is no longer a therapist...
❤
💙🦋
"Trauma porn" or as I like to call it sensationalizing your story, is creepy and disgusting and I have experienced it. I run! I have learnt more from your videos than the therapy sessions I wasted financial resources on. Therapy is expensive and most of us who require therapy don't have that kind of money to spend, especially so we are retraumatized. Don't stay in the care of a bad therapist and don't let bad therapy stop your healing journey. 🙏❤️
It sounds like she might have had romantic feelings for the therapist that she didn't know how to process and when her sister crossed that line it triggered her. Doctors who take advantage of their patients are beyond unethical. They are in the perfect position to do so as they are trained on exactly what to look for. No better position for a true predator to be in where they can have complete access to and control over someone's life.
💕
Question Anna, what training did you go through since I have finally caught you saying that you are not a therapist.
Why not look at the TH-cam About page, or my website or LinkedIn profile, or my book? bit.ly/49uJDTL
I just needed to be patient and keep listening. Inattentive adhd. I have found your videos helpful. 1st longer video. Only watched a few shorts. Thank you, Anna, for helping people .
I hope she can make her marriage work... A lot ot times we say things that we don't mean in the heat of the moment...
NO, this is TOTALLY BAD, there is transference too.
She shouldn't go back... EVER.
Who can afford therapy?
I know, right? This assumption that everyone should go really misses the fact that it's out of reach for most people.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy agreed
you need to be either very rich or very poor. your problem is being middle class!
Insurance
@@maplenook 🤣🤣🤣👌
I believe 90% of Therapists don’t know what they’re doing and should be fined and not allowed to practice. They’re essentially criminals.Never should have been given a certificate or license. Through introspection and investigation I have alot of my own answers, and don’t necessarily “need” a therapist, but what I do need is a friend that I can talk to on a regular basis, I think just being heard can be helpful at times if you’ve been shut down most of your life, but until I meet the perfect therapist I would never let some ill qualified, dangerous person give me advice..not to mention the financial strain.