I am very attracted by modest dressed women, they look very confident and mature, what I really like. Other woman I cant really take serious, because of their inapropiate way of dressing. Either way I am disgusted by that (wich is also kinda wrong, because I dont look at that Person with love) however if I am able to look at such a woman with love, I feel just sorry for her...
Not controversial to us Christians. But certainly for those that have embraced the secular culture, where evil is good and good is evil. While I agree the most persuasive argument for dressing modestly will likely be that of becoming a more virtuous man or woman by growing in the virtues of temperance and sub-virtues of purity and modesty. Another reason beyond that is to do it for the sake of others. Dressing modestly for the sake of guarding the soul of your sisters and brothers in Christ who might still struggle with lust. It's a whole lot easier to run contrary to the 6th commandment when a person dresses immodestly.
Reformed slut here🙋🏽♀️ I agree with everything you said! I was immodest in my thoughts and actions and I slept with many men looking for the Love God had for me the entire time. I am so grateful to God for patiently waiting for this former prodigal daughter’s eyes to open and return to the Father! Pints with Aquinas played a huge role in my return! God bless you, Matt. You are ALWAYS in my prayers💚
I have been following the Vatican 1930s guidelines for about 6 years (upper arms covered, no cleavage, no clingy fabric, skirt below the knee). I feel happy and dignified, I sew my own skirts with fabrics I like, I've learned about colors that suit me. It's an ongoing process of not wasting money in ugly or uncomfortable stuff. We don't need much to live and dress modestly. We just need to choose wisely.
It's not easy for a woman who has to work full time along with caring for children and other such things to also sew her own clothes. The breasts are also a tricky thing as they definitely shouldn't be shown off immodestly, but in the late Victorian age and through the Edwardian age and into the 20th century still lasting into current society, we developed an unhealthy "modesty" about breasts that has greatly discouraged breast feeding children. As the Victorian aristocracy saw breastfeeding as something dirty and peasant like and the invention of baby formulas that were intended for medical use only and should've remained that way were promoted as a sign of modesty and class. My grandmother in the 1950's and 60's was dirt poor with 8 children and no wic program worked ungodly hours to help her husband support the family and ensure that they were all bottle fed because breast feeding was so badly looked down on. Even with my own children through the 21st century I've been told I must feed them in bathrooms and dressing rooms while other women walk around freely in booty shorts for no purpose other than enticing men, and lingerie ads hang on the walls. That's a very serious problem in my opinion and the church has been a monster in promoting it since the invention of artificial formulas and acceptance of the pseudoscience claiming that its just as good as breast milk. This false modesty has also done far more to objectify women than it ever did to honor us and the purpose God created us for.
@Megan Greene I am a mother of 4 and have been breastfeeding with no fuss at Mass and everywhere else with no detriment to my clothing standards or vice versa. So I don't agree with whatever the complaint is. Usually modest catholic women are also quite crunchy and supportive of breastfeeding, natural birth, better foods, homeschooling... so... no, that "false modesty" is not my experience at all.
@Megan Greene Ah, sorry. Just checked and the post that I thought I was replying to was deleted, so I ended up replying to the next one on the list without realising. I'll delete the comment that you received.
I just gotta say with my own personal experiences, when I dress modestly, lady like, feminine, what have you... I get far more respect, courtesy and kind compliments from men. Ladies your actions set the standards.
It needs to start with how we dress for Holy Mass or whenever entering a chapel. I attended a Maronite monastery once that prohibited both men and women from dressing immodesty (e.g. no shorts, tank tops, or spaghetti straps). If we must dress modestly to enter a monastery chapel or even most of the churches in the Holy Land or Rome, the same principle should apply for all churches.
Great comments here. I dress modestly. Finding clothes is a bit of a challenge, so I shop vintage and make small alterations like lengthening skirt hems and closing up back slits. I still dress fashionably, with a lot of cardigans layered over tee shirts. As a small penance, I quit wearing pants three years ago. It's actually a lot warmer in winter, since I can hide a lot of layers under a long denim skirt. Occasionally, young women tell me how much they want to dress up and look more feminine and pretty. It's actually fun.
Hi, Eccomi. There are many elements which can and often do contribute to this difficulty. All can be traced to the Fall, which knows no limit of degradation save the truncation of death. The best solution I have found is the conscious attention to the objective. Perfect union in Heaven with God, family, friends, spouse of multiple decades, children, their spouses of multiple decades, descendants can recalibrate our idea of what is important and what will help achieve that goal. This vision can help inform how we relate with others.
In support of what Matt says, one of the things I find both funny and sad is that in movies, when men get dressed up they are wearing a shirt and jacket, but no matter how cold it is, the woman always has to be wearing a strappy or strapless dress with no coat.
When you can't keep up with the fashions (or won't for the sake of modesty), pick an era you like and get a coat in that style. I have an Edwardian era coat that is very modest and gets lots of compliments.
Matt, good job and thank you for being a voice on a potentially explosive topic! Our generation needs fatherly voices and things like this are needed. May the Lord draw many sons and daughters to Himself through and pour out abundant grace and favor on you and your ministry! God bless you!
As a woman of quite a few decades (I have grandkids), I can say that women NEED to hear what men think about their dress...in particular, godly men. You were quite brilliant I thought and I LOVE the quotes from the Saints, thank you for those. In this age when the Church appears to be leaning more and more toward secularism, we need to look BACK at the Saints who have inspired us and the Church for ages. Happy that I found you.
In the Catechism, in the section on the ninth commandment, the conversation about modesty is centered on human dignity. We dress modestly to veil/protect the body from those who would seek to abuse it, which also reflects the value and importance placed in one’s own body. Modesty isn’t about skirt length or whatever else, it is about recognizing your own dignity, and demanding (by the way that you dress) to be treated with respect. If you want to be treated like a prostitute, the easiest way is to dress like one
Definitely, an that’s why so many young women struggle with it because they don’t have the correct view of their body. 😢 It’s honestly a struggle for me sometimes too not to get trapped in the desire for outside validation for what I wear.
@@katien3022 i sympathize. It’s also not entirely girl’s fault: if you can’t sew your own clothes, you can only buy what’s available for you, and the majority of clothing stores are more interested in being trendy than classy. And further, it is the natural desire of a woman’s heart to be desired, found captivating, etc, so dressing for attention seems like a shortcut to the attention women want. Certainly hard all around, but virtue is made in the testing; endure and be glorified!
And vice versa. If we want to be treated like a lady or a true Christian, we should WEAR and ACT and TALK like one. I feel terrible and angry when I see women in church wearing tight, revealing dresses and even shorts. Let’s dismiss for a moment the rules of Christian ethics, it’s just a matter of common sense. Don’t they realize that in church they are in the PRESENCE of God. I have confronted women in church who are dressing immodestly in a very gentle and loving way but I don’t think it makes a difference. In one of those cases this lady I talked to about her dress was wearing in the same exact way the following Sunday. This generation doesn’t like to be told what to do or what to wear. Rebellion and selfishness are signs of the end of times. Once I talked to the priest about people sitting in the church with crossed legs and he said there’s nothing mentioned about that in the catechism. For me sitting in church with your legs crossed is lack of reverence to the Lord. The church is not a sitting room in your house where you want to be comfortable.
@@ArchetypeGotoh So true. What teens see all around them does not set a good example. It's definitely difficult to find truly modest clothing, so it's a struggle to dress respectfully. Even online Christian clothing stores sell clothes that I wouldn't want my daughters to wear.
Thanks Matt! It's funny how anything remotely challenging is deemed offensive. I often struggle when going to the grocery store. I used to be a college athlete, and I struggle when I see younger athletes shopping in their sports bras flip-flops, and short shorts... We're called to cloth the naked. But what do we do when the naked resist being clothed? "Oh well!... I shall cover them in my hail Marys" And so I pray "Ave Maria, Gracia plena...."
Lmaooo cecelia just be gay🌈 live your lesbian life sis! Enjoy the view of those sports bras! There is no god! Its three middle eastern men in a trench coat😂
This was so beautiful. I loved hearing every word. It brought me back to a state full of Grace and humility. What a blessing it was listening to this. Bless your heart!
Re: women wearing skirts gracefully, I fault parents for not instructing girls on how to move properly. That said, it's useful to bend over, cross legs, etc. in the fitting room when you are first buying clothes. Similarly, if you ever are going to stand in strong light in an outfit, you need to check out transparency values. (And if in doubt, be absolutely sure you wear a camisole, slip, etc.)
It's brave to talk about modesty and important to remind folks about the varied definitions and uses of this word. Thank you for repeating that modesty applies to both women and men in our speech, in our dress ( and those 70s jeans for men left little to the imagination) and in daily lives.
Why be modest? Why not just wear less clothes when hot and more clothes when cold. If youre walking around mad horny all the time oggling every single woman you pass….maybe its just you? Its ok to be attracted to people sheesh.
I agree that completely changed my decisions on wardrobe for life, I was very grateful for his charity and approach. It made the person ask themselves the hard questions rather than someone telling them.
I dress modestly and firmly believe in modesty. But I will NEVER believe it is a woman’s fault for getting raped because she dressed immodestly. Her own sins do not justify the sins committed against her.
Yes. That is victim blaming. Men need to take stock of themselves and be responsible for their own sinfulness. Society had tolerated their predatory behavior for too long. And I'm not just talking about men who rape. All men have to start respecting women as children of God, not as scapegoats.
I really like how the saint connected it with digging a pit and not covering it. The person who fell into the pit was not looking where they were going, so it was their fault, but the person who dug the pit is also guilty.
Thanks for this video Matt! Men and women both need to hear this. You say it a lot more charitable than I do. I have a habit of being very brutally honest, blunt, and direct in all my speech, and it gets me into trouble. It is something that I definitely need to work on. I digress...thanks for the video!
What if you are training at a high intensity in an extremely warm climate? Going shirtless for men, or in a sports bra for women, seems appropriate then.
Additionally, what about wearing spandex or the like (for women) as a way to maximize performance, in, say, running? Just seems like some nuance is necessary rather than broad absolutes.
This is a problem I find difficult to solve, because the reason for wearing “immodest” clothing isn’t at all to adorn oneself or for any vain reason. When exercising, the goal is to reduce misery as much as possible, and clothing can go a long way to do that
As a woman I've always thought how immodest woman do not want to be sexualized, like for instance in Bikinis or 2 piece swimsuits. They say the should not be made a sex objects. Ect. Yet these very same woman I have heard say while passing though the swimsuits in route to somewhere else or coworkers say "isn't this so sexy?" Or "that isn't sexy enough". Simply crazy. Also another that gets me is they are fine being seen in those, but not underwear. Nothing tight or revealing for this girl. My future husband will know how special he is.
I think what's happening there is that they enjoy the pleasure aspects of attention, being found attractive etc and this is partly due to society saying that being sexy, sexually available and attractive is the main value for women. This is very hard to not be influenced by, even though it often also makes us feel anxious. Yet, at the same time, they know that there are downsides, but it's hard to give up the feel good aspect. That's why they want to be found attractive but not objectified. Basically have the good points but no negatives I.e. to have your cake and eat it.
I have not cursed in 5-6 months and when you said the word " Slut " .. I was like YOOOO MAN haha i forgot this word even existed bro. You can do it bro i have faith in you brother
I'm a woman and when I learnt about modesty thru such videos, I fell into agreement almost instantly. By God's grace I never questioned this and never thought - why only women? And ofcourse I changed my dressing. And, I always thought you were British... Now when you mentioned you are an Aussie, I recognise that scene 😀
First off, in regards to other commenters, it's rather doubtful that makeup could be "evil," because not only did OT heroines wear makeup, but several of the OT patriarchs had daughters named after makeup. (And I say this as someone who doesn't wear makeup.) If Job could name a daughter from his final happiness "horn of eyeliner" (Keren-Happuch), obviously God does not object to eyeliner on girls, much less on women. And having established a principle that it's okay, everything else goes to taste and prudence. Moving along... St. Francis de Sales gives fashion and modesty advice as part of An Introduction to the Devout LIfe, which everyone acknowledges to be a spiritual classic. And his idea is that a devout woman (or man) should dress with normal modesty, not excruciating modesty, and should keep up with fashion in a way that accords to her state in life, as long as she's not wasting her money or going too far. His ideal is that one should neither dress offensively to old people nor be outrageously old-fashioned to young people. He was French and understood social life.
When I’m watching this during lunch, and I take a big bite of food and Matt says, “I can see your breakfast,” and I spit my lunch out all over the table…
Sagging pants, wife beaters or tight t-shirts with short sleeves are also immodest among men in my opinion…many orthodox Christian monasteries do not allow men with shorts or short sleeves, even in the deserts, even if modest.
Great explanation, thank you for bringing different perspectives and ways of thinking about the points you made but still staying faithful to Catholic teaching
modesty should be present in all of our actions! not only clothing, but also language, as you mentioned, and body language. keeping good posture, talking less about yourself, not being loud... also man often don't like when woman dress with dresses and modest skirts, but still show more than they should below the neck area (also arms/shoulders). woman usually do this in summer time and use it as excuse, which is not excusable, but man don't lead the way enduring the hot weather with a long shirt (for example). woman should still be the "target" of modesty, but man need to recognize other aspects of modesty that certainly applies to them, even clothes
@@daughterofchrist1775 yes! getting to know and serve her is the best way to imitate Christ! is it from a video you are referencing? I'd enjoy hearing Fr Ripperger
You know this reminds me of gym clothes that’re catered to women. I tried shopping for some new clothes and I had a very hard time finding anything modest.
I'm a protestant who's looking into the Catholic church and I really enjoyed this view on modesty. I can't tell you how many times I've been to church and people take advantage of come as you are and look inappropriate. I can't even go to the gym without seeing people who are almost naked and bending over which shows everything.
Is it possible to have a group who could share these guidelines with women, and offending men, who come to Mass and other Church functions improperly, but most especially, indecently, dressed? How do you approach such a personal subject without alienating the person?
And people think Islam is extreme. I actually love head coverings. I feel ten times more feminine and beautiful. I am not Muslim but because of what I wear I have been mistaken as Muslim a few times.
@@IONov990 Muslim women are the visual embodiments of every image you will ever see of the blessed Virgin Mary. The veil is beautiful, modest and reverential.
Growing up and being male, I was always taught by the world and family, both consciously and subconsciously, that the woman is the thermometer of a civilization's moral temperature; and they are the *ONLY* foundation off which a person should aspire to become the ultimate Catholic archetype. When I reached my teens, I began contemplating the observable reality of Catholic women on every occasionand paid complete attention to their attitudestowards moral "rules." They always seemed to treat acts, even suggestions of sexual purity with contempt and resentment. I digested the message very intensely, so much so I'd go days without talking much to anyone. That in every single case, I saw the female half of the Human species only become disgusted by the Biblical tenants of purity; it struck a cord with me. I sensed as though I was living in a Matrix but then God handed me a remedy dose. It actually changed my whole view of the world. That's how strong my perspective on it was. Depression set in for a many a month after that realization. Thankfully, by the Grace of God, I soon found peace in he my creator and true Master, and of course honoring the Blessed Virgin Theotokos in her rightful place during that dreadful trial. Glory to God! The positive from it all was that it refocused my worship like behavior towards women and onto the essence of God. I no longer look upon "ultimate female archetype" as a means of guaging how to reach holiness or to fulfill the mission God lied before me. Don't worship God for that anymore. I worship God for the sake of God. In this spirit I was liberated. For clarity, I hold respect for females' role and am polite as much as the next person. I'm not commenting as a jab at women. It is an experience of a love affair, God simply won me over instead of the other. I think many males can relate. Just a well wisher here, so please don't shoot the messenger. I'm simply sharing my perspective. Do with it what you will. God bless you all.
St. Padre Pio was extremely strict regarding modesty and would turn women away from the confessional even when he just mystically knew that they dressed immodestly when at home alone. Super convicting. I wish it wasn't so hard to dress modestly. In the meantime I'll just have to keep wearing multiple dresses and adding top and skirt layers. 🙄😬😞
In my city the school board just past a new dress code. The only rules are the nipples genitalia and butt must be covered. It’s very sad to see how far Canadian values have drifted away from Christian values. Please pray for my country.
Oh, and it's not automatically immodest for men to wear shorts. Men have been wearing above-knee breeches for thousands of years, depending on the weather and the task. And both men and women have kilted up their skirts for various tasks to various heights, up to and including right under their butts and tucked into their loincloths and other underwear. The cut and fit of clothing makes a big difference, too. People are automatically modest if they are dressed for the occasion, for safety, for cleanliness, and so on.
This isn’t going stop being a difficult topic until the actual reason for modesty is understood. It’s not because sex is bad (it’s not) or because one person can control what goes on inside another person’s mind (sorry, gentlemen, your lust is your problem). That kind of reasoning is exactly what leads to burkas and honor killings. It’s faulty reasoning which leads to other kinds of sin. Stop it. The simplest way to put it is this: Bodies are not property. One’s body is not merely a vehicle for one’s soul. While not interchangeable they are inseparable. What you do with both *matters*. It is this fact which has been neglected in discussion of modesty. The idea that the soul is separate from the body and is just a meat puppet leads to hedonistic behavior, or worse, believing that flesh is corrupted and hating what God has created. Oof. Bodies are not things to be bought and sold or remodeled like a house. Or taken out for a joyride. You *are* your body. Bloody well act like it.
Here’s one for men: in summer, you go to the beach, the weather is hot, you are hanging out with friends or family, you sit down to eat lunch at your friends house, I know it’s casual, maybe you came from the pool but please wear a shirt!!! It makes me so uncomfortable as a woman, even if it’s my relative. It seems like a really specific thing but it has happened to me multiple times. Men don’t see what’s the issue most of the time.
Hello 🙋🏼♀️ As you can see, I am a female. Yippee!!! I just wanted to let you know that I absolutely agree with the Saints! Modesty should be practiced by both males and females. Females are perfectly aware of how they dress and why they dress the way they do.. Many times we dress to get that reaction from the opposite sex because we are not receiving the comments we want from our husbands or significant other. However, I don’t think the majority of women are aware of the detrimental effects it has on the others who are not their spouses. We must begin by educating our children, (male and female,) about the beauty and importance of our bodies. This is something parents are not doing . Unfortunately, we are too busy rushing from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep. The focus today is trying to keep our children off of their phones and other electronics. Modesty and self respect, etc. never even make it anywhere in the daily discussion. And just incase your viewers want to know, I am in my mid fifties with four children ages 20 to 33 and I have a 13 year old granddaughter as well. Lastly, I must tell you that I don’t think there is anything wrong with looking at a man who is wearing a kilt. Especially if he is showing his, “breakfast “!!!!😄😆😃 Blessings to you and your awesome show! Keep up the good work! Kerry G🕊
Hmmm. Idk as a lesbian i love to be looked at and look at other women. I can also appreciate beauty in anyone. A nice body is nice to look at, and it feels nice to be complimented. Do you feel like nobody finds you attractive…is that why you want to punish other women?
Great video! I agree with all you said especially a pornified culture. Recently, John Henry-Weston did a video with soap actor Austin Peck who is now a TLM Catholic. Soaps are pornographic and Austin has done some nude scenes. I had hoped Weston would have addressed this with him at the very least not to mislead his audience. Sadly, he didn't. I really appreciate you saying publically your struggle with swearing. I recall your discussion with Tim Gordon where you both swore. I have heard Tim use the F-bomb and frequently used Hell and damn. No matter how you look at things those curse words are sins. I can struggle with this too. So again I am grateful you addressed this publically and are working on changing behavior. We wish not to be a stumbling block to someone's sanctity!
Some middle eastern dude: “Ladies, uh…you exist to make bb and succ pp. marry your rapist. Cuz if another guys pp has been in there…ew dirty🤮✋🏼. Umm anyways uwu please stfu and make dinner while me and the boys go do stuff at church with the doors closed😏💦🫵🏽😎Ps i love you sorry i didnt mean to threaten to torture the sh*t out of you forever if you dont love me back…or did i😏😏 Cult-raised Women: 😍🥰😘💯💯💯🥳GOD is GOOD Yall😜🙈Lord Jesus, I am SO glad 2 be a WOMAN😍✌🏼i ❤️ being bred 🐮and being quiet🙊😎🤩
I’m choosing to dress modestly even at home 🏡. I don’t want to look frumpy but I wear bright colors. My dresses are midi length. I don’t have tattoos or rings in my nose. My makeup is natural, no green hair. I dress each day like it’s a special day of being “in Christ”. Dressing nicely puts me in a positive frame of mind, too. That’s my 2 cents.
So what your saying is you dress in a way that makes u happy? Great sis! Me too! In whatever makes ME feel comfortable. You do you abd mind your own biznisssssss bisshhhhhhagsgajdk
I'm just starting the video, so I hope this gets answered within it, but my thing about modesty is that its standards are constantly changing between cultures and within cultures. The US had an extremely different idea of modesty before the 20s. Someone from 1900 would think the most modest outfit i own (which is so modest it gets me weird looks when I'm out) looks prostitute-like because it shows my ankles. In Japan, very short skirts are considered acceptably modest as long as the top covers them entirely. So I don't think your initial tip of comparing our outfits to what prostitutes wear works very well. There needs to be a clear line across time of which body parts should and shouldn't be covered. Mostly just commenting my initial thoughts for the algorithm. Can't wait to watch!!
Thank you for an intelligent reply! I feel bad for most of these people in the comments. Lots of older men and women who are clearly from more rural areas where education is suppressed and even demonized. Makes it easier to warp their minds. They latch on to it easily becuase of envy. They are envious that their beauty has faded and that young people are happier and enjoying giving and recieving attention. The thing we “hate” is the either thing we want or the thing we hate in ourselves
I'm often amazed by how the wisdom of the saints is timeless, applying to their time, our time, and until the end of time -- especially on the topic of virtue
I made a video about this. I had a job to model clothes for a Christian clothing company, however, some of their stuff really contradicted the bible, modesty being one of them. I decided not to become a regular model for them. Their my neighbor and I love them. I pray they create attire that aligns with the Bible in the future. I could never bring myself to wear a skimpy bikini that had a bible verse on it. Yep. It had a bible verse on it...🤦 God really changed my heart. I never dressed provocative, but I dress a little differently now that I'm on this side of Christ. It's been more of a journey learning to appreciate modesty and see the beauty in it. There's been 1 or 2 times I've worn something, then went back looking at it and said, nah, I'm gonna take that down and put something else on or change something.
I honestly do not understand why people are so concerned about offending people for being Faithful to God in any manner, speech or otherwise. Of course we should be careful not to be condescending but at the same time we cannot twist Truth to be more agreeable to others. That could easily lead to slipping into grave error and more often than not it does. My suggestion to anyone, male or female to use this barometer on the way they dress in Church. Q: Would I get compliments from my secular friends at work or at a social gathering with those not following Jesus seriously? If yes, then it is likely to be inappropriate for Church. There are exceptions. However, women who wear blazers covering most of the areas that can be 'distracting' (unfortunately in this day and age one cannot even say only 'to men')...this to me is very smart for them to wear blazers because it is very simple, can be elegant and solve the issue quite easily and comfortably. My humble opinion. God Bless all! ➕
Re: modesty for men, it's usually a matter of either men who are trying to do something way out of bounds for most men (ie, dressing in drag and not as a joke, dressing like male prostitutes), or bringing leisure/work undress into more formal situations, or men who present themselves to others in a threatening way that involves sexuality. Or clothes that don't fit correctly, because men think the clothes still fit like they first did. Most men do a good gentlemanly job, in a quiet way, so women tend to notice glaring immodesty.
I enjoyed this video very much. What has bothered me so much in the past about this topic was that as far as the sin goes, all the blame was placed on the woman. People in my life would make excuses for men who would allow their mind to go places it shouldn't. Im not even joking when I say that I had a religious leader tell me that even if a woman is not wearing something that is outright revealing, a man will work his eyes around and envision what is underneath. I don't know about you, but if a man is doing that it sounds like the sin is in him, not the woman. It also really bothers me that no one talks about a woman's sexuality. We notice handsome men and are capable of thinking inappropriately too.
Regarding men: I find it really off-putting when they wear slim fit suits. It's almost as revealing of their figure as leggings and men must be really uncomfortable in them. There doesn't have to be a compromise between elegance and comfort but you have to save money for it, or you need to thrift it.
Hmm. Have u ever asked a man in a slim fit suit if he’s comfortable? Becuase most who i see wearing these are very proud to show off muscles! Also…if you dont like seeing the male form….you might be…you know…🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈
I think that whether a lady wears a skirt or a guy wears a kilt they should wear stockings or something to cover their legs. The blessed Virgin Mary is always shown completely covered, and so is St Joseph. I once heard a traditional priest say that no one should complain to him since he has to wear black in the summer from head to toe. Linen is one way of covering while still remaining cool in the summer. If you look at pictures from the 20th century in each decade, you can see how things slowly degraded.
The Blessed Virgin Mary lived in a time and place when cloth was relatively plentiful, and in a place where the sun was relatively strong and created a need for coverage, unlike Scotland in the times of kilts. Hem lengths differ over time because of conditions, use, and affordability. Men in the Holy Land sowed seed with their skirts kilted up around their waists, and Peter sometimes went fishing "lightly clad," which meant basically in nothing. It wasn't meant to show off their legs; it was so they could do their jobs safely, without ruining their clothes.
@@suburbanbanshee I have never heard anyone claim that cloth was more available in biblical times before. That is a new argument. However, it is not true. Clothing was more expensive back then. In every single culture the Blessed Virgin Mary is shown completely covered. So culture and time has nothing to do with it. Hem lengths have nothing to do with it either. If the hem length does not cover the legs completely, then stockings or something similar can do it instead. The idea that socks would be to expensive if a little longer is nonsense. Obviously fishing and swimming has different rules than when out in the street. But even so, there is no way that women would have been "lightly clad" in the water if men were around.
In one district of prostitution I have seen, the prostitutes were dressed in a pretty but modest manner, by modern standards. These things are rather fluid.
Everything has meaning. Even the clothes you use. Think about what they mean. Think about the kind of woman/man you want in your life and then think about what kind of woman/man your clothes are attracting.
Don't forget that modesty is contextual to the society in question. As C.S.Lewis said, "A girl in the Pacific islands wearing hardly any clothes and a Victorian lady completely covered in clothes might both be equally ‘modest’, proper, or decent, according to the standards of their own societies: and both, for all we could tell by their dress, might be equally chaste (or equally unchaste)." In medieval Scotland, a man wearing a kilt and nothing else below his waist would not have been immodest at all. But a man in this day and age in America doing so would be a violation even of our state laws, and rightly so.
This topic has been on my mind since yesterday. While in Mass, I noticed something that has become increasingly normal in our culture (though I wasn't expecting to see it in Mass of all places), which is women wearing extra-large t-shirts with shorts so short that it looks like they are not wearing anything underneath the shirt. This was the case, but it was a girl that must have been maybe 12-14 years old standing in between her two modestly dressed parents. I was saddened by it. Shouldn't we start teaching this to our kids from a young age? Maybe I should've said something to the father in private and I'm a coward for not having done so.
Yeah we need to warn young guys and girls that men in the Catholic church have a history of child abuse and that if anyone makes an inappropriate comment or touches them, they need to get the police involved immediately.
My suggestion for how to dress modestly is simply to always dress one degree higher than the average. It sends the right message and also prevents people from becoming to proud of their modesty.
I say we should cover up everything that needs to be covered up. This sounds good but the culture should not be the benchmark for what level of modesty is right, and also if we should be more modest, we should not fall short of that because of the danger of pride. I believe we should be as good as we can, and then battle the pride as it comes, because as a principle, doing the wrong thing to not be proud seems misguided.
@@andrewkelly2028 In my estimation the average for modesty is not as bad as we might think. There are naturally people I see who I think are dressed inappropriately, I live in a college town, but they are in a minority. This is why I think one degree higher that average is best. There are no objective standards that the universal church can set all over the world after all.
@@47StormShadow This is true but I do believe that there is an objective standard to basic modesty. There are certain parts of the body that just should not be revealed. And if a culture of people are completely naked, I don't think "one step above average" is necessarily the right option there. Maybe in our culture, if modesty is almost but not quite at the right level, that system would work.
@@jonatikaWwe Its a general term naturally but the idea is: if the average person wears short shorts then wear shorts that are a couple inches longer or perhaps if the fashion is to show a little cleavage then don't show any.
Hi Matt this like my 3rd time within the last two months watching this and am a big fan, also I must appreciate you good works; cant tell you how it as transformed me and you are always in my prayers, it is a great resource for an essay (more like a letter ) am currently writing titled "A Case For Modesty", I will appreciate if anyone can throw more light on short gown as dressing modest
I think the way to balance the discussion is to talk about modesty in terms of behavior. Most men don't tend to be immodest in their dress, but in terms of their behavior. So at the same time when talking to women or girls about dress, we should talk to men about their immodest behavior.
I can't even tell you how much this video was a blessing to me....And after a prayer wow! So my question is what book from TA is this from? I would like to read it. Is it the Suma or another writing?
I live in a hot climate and parents have a difficult time getting their children particularly girls to dress modestly. Their fashion is more revealing than covering.
Yeah i live in hawaii and we are all half naked cuz guess what its hot and we love to swim and be outside 😊 and yet hawaii is known for its aloha spirit and love and kindess. Almosrt like…the things youve been taught arent true…
If a women is home clothed in the skirt or dress that she is going to wear outside or for Mass she will most likely look at herself in the mirror which is not a problem. However, there is a twofold issue. One is when she fails to turn around and view how it looks from the back. The other is when she fails to realize that her clothing is not glued onto her. It may look fine when she looks in the mirror but It will move as she moves. It will rise as she sits or kneels or even walking sometimes. This issue where it rises is exacerbated depending on how the girl/women sits. I have children and have dealt with this for years.
I think in order to improve the conversation around modesty, we should spend as much time on men's self-aggrandizing, braggadocious behavior as we do on women's clothing, since modesty is equally a virtue for both men and women. Also, it should be emphasized that modesty is about temperance, that is, moderating one's passions. So, the focus should be on cooperating with God's grace primarily, and on our effects on others secondarily.
The problem is that all women will say that they dress modestly even traditional minded women. I go to Mass and sometimes I think my head is going to screw off from trying to avoid the view of women whose attire is much too tight or is much too high. But they will say that they are dressing modestly.
You shouldn't be judgy and order others around, but it's *also* courteous to not dress in a way that distracts or arouses others. As a guy who highly struggles with lust, I feel very distracted by women in tight or skin-baring clothes. I don't want to order them around, and they might even say "just get it under control dude," but to that I ask: if it's not a big deal, why do you *really* insist on dressing like this then? You know there's something important to it, otherwise you wouldn't be so insistant on dressing that way. Everyone should be considerate to everyone essentially.
If you look at the biblical model of marriage and how it has been corrupted, I wonder if the equivalent of women deliberately invoking lust in men based on how they dress would be men invoking greed in woman. IE woman showing off skin(lust) and men showing off wealth(greed). Here modesty would apply to both equally, but the trap/pit is different. Thoughts?
Interesting concept. I never thought of this parallel. I have to say, though, as a woman, men can also invoke lust in women by the way they dress and act as well.
Okay I wear mechanic overall most days, work boots, and a ball cap Vietnam veteran. I only once wore a set of shorts to Mass we were down to the beach.
Yeah youre right….the change would be that ultimate modesty is women and children in full length burqas unable to leave the house🙄 why dont we do the reverse and all the men unable to control themselves can stay tf home and away from me🤢
There are some things we cannot know through reason and logic. Reason can get you far, but only so far as the limits God has put in place. Through the Holy Spirit we can attain a more complete understanding that transcends what our minds can comprehend.
Where pride is the sovereign authority, religious morality is held in contempt. The real question is: why aren't the true moral authorities of Christ, namely the Catholic Bishops, explicitly and unrelentingly condemning this publicly?
Wearing a modest top covering all of my front up to my chin is still not enough at times, due to men just being men and knowing where my bosom is located, and thereby their eyes travel from my eyes, down to that approximate area and there they stare for a moment, and then smile quickly with approval, then look back up at my eyes as if to cover the tracks of their eye movements, because they think I didn't see what I just saw. But I did. And so, after long sleeves and heavy coverage of lose fitting blouses didn't work, then came adding on large cover ups, which I keep pulling across my chest in self defense, feeling the stares of judgmental ladies at mass, and becoming scared and mad at the same time, and frustrated and outraged, as all I had wanted was to worship Christ the King of Kings, and instead I get led into some sort of mental game of harassment and intimidation, based upon my modest garb not being modest enough. So then, I added in even more, when I decided to add on a shawl or decorative scarf to fall over my entire chest, or to even wear my jacket and not take it off at all. I'm single and it seems to me that being so makes me a walking target for hate of all kinds, and to despair that I will never be good enough nor ever really be accepted or fit in. Please reconsider leading others into sin this way, as I have to fight trying to keep going to a place where I never feel well with all of this heavy clothing, except at the communion rail-where at long last, its just me and Christ, and I melt into a love for Him and He for me, that makes me deeply know, just for that moment, what its really all about.
Your struggle is self inflicted. You are not responsible for how another feels unless you are hitting them over the head. Dress for the climate and circumstances.
@@markpatterson2517 A priest quietly came up to me after mass to instruct me to cover my shoulders the next time I came, when I had worn a sleeveless, lose fitting dress blouse with a high neckline. It was about 100 degrees that day, a year ago. I obeyed him out of reverence and being corrected. I don't want to cross him, as I have too much respect and love for him, a senior priest who is standing up against the destruction of the One True Church and the TLM. Pray for priests.
@@tmc187 I don't think its all gross if they are attracted to what God made, yet I read stories of women wearing a burka who get raped, as well as infants. I could just about wear anything it seems, as they know whats "in" there. Women who are married seem to be protected no kidding-by their husbands very presence who seem to convey a sort of force field of protection just by being there in the pew with them. My state in life, is single and devoted to Christ.
I'm very sorry to hear that. I will keep you in my prayers and I will try to remember to offer up my suffering during the heat(I live in a warm climate aswell) for you and other women who suffer.
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Dressing modestly protects women from unworthy men, but attracts good and virtuous men. It doesn’t seem controversial at all.
This is a great remark
I am very attracted by modest dressed women, they look very confident and mature, what I really like.
Other woman I cant really take serious, because of their inapropiate way of dressing. Either way I am disgusted by that (wich is also kinda wrong, because I dont look at that Person with love) however if I am able to look at such a woman with love, I feel just sorry for her...
Not controversial to us Christians. But certainly for those that have embraced the secular culture, where evil is good and good is evil.
While I agree the most persuasive argument for dressing modestly will likely be that of becoming a more virtuous man or woman by growing in the virtues of temperance and sub-virtues of purity and modesty. Another reason beyond that is to do it for the sake of others. Dressing modestly for the sake of guarding the soul of your sisters and brothers in Christ who might still struggle with lust. It's a whole lot easier to run contrary to the 6th commandment when a person dresses immodestly.
A M E N !
superb summary!
Reformed slut here🙋🏽♀️ I agree with everything you said! I was immodest in my thoughts and actions and I slept with many men looking for the Love God had for me the entire time. I am so grateful to God for patiently waiting for this former prodigal daughter’s eyes to open and return to the Father! Pints with Aquinas played a huge role in my return! God bless you, Matt. You are ALWAYS in my prayers💚
I have been following the Vatican 1930s guidelines for about 6 years (upper arms covered, no cleavage, no clingy fabric, skirt below the knee). I feel happy and dignified, I sew my own skirts with fabrics I like, I've learned about colors that suit me. It's an ongoing process of not wasting money in ugly or uncomfortable stuff. We don't need much to live and dress modestly. We just need to choose wisely.
GOD bless you sister! Greetings from Germany
It's not easy for a woman who has to work full time along with caring for children and other such things to also sew her own clothes. The breasts are also a tricky thing as they definitely shouldn't be shown off immodestly, but in the late Victorian age and through the Edwardian age and into the 20th century still lasting into current society, we developed an unhealthy "modesty" about breasts that has greatly discouraged breast feeding children. As the Victorian aristocracy saw breastfeeding as something dirty and peasant like and the invention of baby formulas that were intended for medical use only and should've remained that way were promoted as a sign of modesty and class. My grandmother in the 1950's and 60's was dirt poor with 8 children and no wic program worked ungodly hours to help her husband support the family and ensure that they were all bottle fed because breast feeding was so badly looked down on. Even with my own children through the 21st century I've been told I must feed them in bathrooms and dressing rooms while other women walk around freely in booty shorts for no purpose other than enticing men, and lingerie ads hang on the walls. That's a very serious problem in my opinion and the church has been a monster in promoting it since the invention of artificial formulas and acceptance of the pseudoscience claiming that its just as good as breast milk. This false modesty has also done far more to objectify women than it ever did to honor us and the purpose God created us for.
@Megan Greene I am a mother of 4 and have been breastfeeding with no fuss at Mass and everywhere else with no detriment to my clothing standards or vice versa. So I don't agree with whatever the complaint is. Usually modest catholic women are also quite crunchy and supportive of breastfeeding, natural birth, better foods, homeschooling... so... no, that "false modesty" is not my experience at all.
@Megan Greene I know that Pius XI wasn't a Modernist. I was replying to a comment about Roncalli.
@Megan Greene Ah, sorry. Just checked and the post that I thought I was replying to was deleted, so I ended up replying to the next one on the list without realising. I'll delete the comment that you received.
I just gotta say with my own personal experiences, when I dress modestly, lady like, feminine, what have you... I get far more respect, courtesy and kind compliments from men. Ladies your actions set the standards.
And honestly I find women who dress that way (modestly) more attractive but never in a lustful way.
Ummm wut?
It needs to start with how we dress for Holy Mass or whenever entering a chapel. I attended a Maronite monastery once that prohibited both men and women from dressing immodesty (e.g. no shorts, tank tops, or spaghetti straps). If we must dress modestly to enter a monastery chapel or even most of the churches in the Holy Land or Rome, the same principle should apply for all churches.
Amen 🙏
At my church 2 girls walked in with yoga pants and sports bras 🤯🤯🤯
@@caseymcmullin5194 did u sprint to confession lol
Great comments here. I dress modestly. Finding clothes is a bit of a challenge, so I shop vintage and make small alterations like lengthening skirt hems and closing up back slits. I still dress fashionably, with a lot of cardigans layered over tee shirts.
As a small penance, I quit wearing pants three years ago. It's actually a lot warmer in winter, since I can hide a lot of layers under a long denim skirt. Occasionally, young women tell me how much they want to dress up and look more feminine and pretty. It's actually fun.
Julie its giving cottagecore lesbian
Hi from Brissie. It's so hard to teach teenage girls to dress modestly. Pull of society's cultural norms is so strong.
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Hi, Eccomi.
There are many elements which can and often do contribute to this difficulty. All can be traced to the Fall, which knows no limit of degradation save the truncation of death. The best solution I have found is the conscious attention to the objective. Perfect union in Heaven with God, family, friends, spouse of multiple decades, children, their spouses of multiple decades, descendants can recalibrate our idea of what is important and what will help achieve that goal. This vision can help inform how we relate with others.
@@gregorybarrett4998 what fall? People are just acting the only way they know how to throughout time.
In support of what Matt says, one of the things I find both funny and sad is that in movies, when men get dressed up they are wearing a shirt and jacket, but no matter how cold it is, the woman always has to be wearing a strappy or strapless dress with no coat.
This isn't just movies, it's every day life. :(
When you can't keep up with the fashions (or won't for the sake of modesty), pick an era you like and get a coat in that style. I have an Edwardian era coat that is very modest and gets lots of compliments.
😁
As a grandmother, I whole heartedly agree.
Matt, good job and thank you for being a voice on a potentially explosive topic! Our generation needs fatherly voices and things like this are needed. May the Lord draw many sons and daughters to Himself through and pour out abundant grace and favor on you and your ministry! God bless you!
As a woman who is now making her way back to Catholicism, I agree 100%. Thank you for posting this and shedding light on this.
As a woman of quite a few decades (I have grandkids), I can say that women NEED to hear what men think about their dress...in particular, godly men. You were quite brilliant I thought and I LOVE the quotes from the Saints, thank you for those. In this age when the Church appears to be leaning more and more toward secularism, we need to look BACK at the Saints who have inspired us and the Church for ages. Happy that I found you.
One of the hardest topics to cover during these times of immodesty and you nailed it perfectly! Thanks 🙏🏻
People do not like others policing their fashion choices.
Ew david stop looking at kids
In the Catechism, in the section on the ninth commandment, the conversation about modesty is centered on human dignity. We dress modestly to veil/protect the body from those who would seek to abuse it, which also reflects the value and importance placed in one’s own body. Modesty isn’t about skirt length or whatever else, it is about recognizing your own dignity, and demanding (by the way that you dress) to be treated with respect.
If you want to be treated like a prostitute, the easiest way is to dress like one
Definitely, an that’s why so many young women struggle with it because they don’t have the correct view of their body. 😢 It’s honestly a struggle for me sometimes too not to get trapped in the desire for outside validation for what I wear.
@@katien3022 i sympathize. It’s also not entirely girl’s fault: if you can’t sew your own clothes, you can only buy what’s available for you, and the majority of clothing stores are more interested in being trendy than classy. And further, it is the natural desire of a woman’s heart to be desired, found captivating, etc, so dressing for attention seems like a shortcut to the attention women want. Certainly hard all around, but virtue is made in the testing; endure and be glorified!
And vice versa. If we want to be treated like a lady or a true Christian, we should WEAR and ACT and TALK like one.
I feel terrible and angry when I see women in church wearing tight, revealing dresses and even shorts. Let’s dismiss for a moment the rules of Christian ethics, it’s just a matter of common sense. Don’t they realize that in church they are in the PRESENCE of God. I have confronted women in church who are dressing immodestly in a very gentle and loving way but I don’t think it makes a difference. In one of those cases this lady I talked to about her dress was wearing in the same exact way the following Sunday.
This generation doesn’t like to be told what to do or what to wear.
Rebellion and selfishness are signs of the end of times.
Once I talked to the priest about people sitting in the church with crossed legs and he said there’s nothing mentioned about that in the catechism. For me sitting in church with your legs crossed is lack of reverence to the Lord. The church is not a sitting room in your house where you want to be comfortable.
@@ArchetypeGotoh So true. What teens see all around them does not set a good example. It's definitely difficult to find truly modest clothing, so it's a struggle to dress respectfully. Even online Christian clothing stores sell clothes that I wouldn't want my daughters to wear.
It's certainly not only about skirt length, but skirt length is certainly a part of it (among many other things).
Thanks Matt! It's funny how anything remotely challenging is deemed offensive.
I often struggle when going to the grocery store. I used to be a college athlete, and I struggle when I see younger athletes shopping in their sports bras flip-flops, and short shorts...
We're called to cloth the naked.
But what do we do when the naked resist being clothed?
"Oh well!... I shall cover them in my hail Marys"
And so I pray "Ave Maria, Gracia plena...."
Lmaooo cecelia just be gay🌈 live your lesbian life sis! Enjoy the view of those sports bras! There is no god! Its three middle eastern men in a trench coat😂
This was so beautiful. I loved hearing every word. It brought me back to a state full of Grace and humility. What a blessing it was listening to this. Bless your heart!
Re: women wearing skirts gracefully, I fault parents for not instructing girls on how to move properly. That said, it's useful to bend over, cross legs, etc. in the fitting room when you are first buying clothes. Similarly, if you ever are going to stand in strong light in an outfit, you need to check out transparency values. (And if in doubt, be absolutely sure you wear a camisole, slip, etc.)
It's brave to talk about modesty and important to remind folks about the varied definitions and uses of this word. Thank you for repeating that modesty applies to both women and men in our speech, in our dress ( and those 70s jeans for men left little to the imagination) and in daily lives.
Why be modest? Why not just wear less clothes when hot and more clothes when cold. If youre walking around mad horny all the time oggling every single woman you pass….maybe its just you? Its ok to be attracted to people sheesh.
Anyone still unsure about this topic should check out Brian Holdsworth’s video
I agree that completely changed my decisions on wardrobe for life, I was very grateful for his charity and approach. It made the person ask themselves the hard questions rather than someone telling them.
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How can anyone be unsure after Aquinas lmao jk.
Brian's video is definitely a good companion piece to this. :)
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"If you choose to take it 💉or choose to give it 💉to your children you are participating in evil"...Sr. Mariam
I love this and think it is a hard lesson to learn in this society we live in. Thank you for sharing.
I dress modestly and firmly believe in modesty. But I will NEVER believe it is a woman’s fault for getting raped because she dressed immodestly. Her own sins do not justify the sins committed against her.
Yes. That is victim blaming. Men need to take stock of themselves and be responsible for their own sinfulness. Society had tolerated their predatory behavior for too long. And I'm not just talking about men who rape. All men have to start respecting women as children of God, not as scapegoats.
@@teresacatherine3811Very true!
I really like how the saint connected it with digging a pit and not covering it. The person who fell into the pit was not looking where they were going, so it was their fault, but the person who dug the pit is also guilty.
Thanks for this video Matt! Men and women both need to hear this. You say it a lot more charitable than I do. I have a habit of being very brutally honest, blunt, and direct in all my speech, and it gets me into trouble. It is something that I definitely need to work on. I digress...thanks for the video!
One big way men could seriously improve on modesty is exercising shirtless (and similarly for women wearing yoga pants or just a sports bra).
What if you are training at a high intensity in an extremely warm climate? Going shirtless for men, or in a sports bra for women, seems appropriate then.
Additionally, what about wearing spandex or the like (for women) as a way to maximize performance, in, say, running? Just seems like some nuance is necessary rather than broad absolutes.
This is a problem I find difficult to solve, because the reason for wearing “immodest” clothing isn’t at all to adorn oneself or for any vain reason. When exercising, the goal is to reduce misery as much as possible, and clothing can go a long way to do that
There is almost always a focus on how women should be modest but not on how men should be responsible for this as well. Why is that?
@@teresacatherine3811 Men are more visually sexual, on average, than women
Good job Matt. Once again you present our Catholic values with humility and kindness. God bless!
As a woman I've always thought how immodest woman do not want to be sexualized, like for instance in Bikinis or 2 piece swimsuits. They say the should not be made a sex objects. Ect. Yet these very same woman I have heard say while passing though the swimsuits in route to somewhere else or coworkers say "isn't this so sexy?" Or "that isn't sexy enough".
Simply crazy.
Also another that gets me is they are fine being seen in those, but not underwear.
Nothing tight or revealing for this girl. My future husband will know how special he is.
I think what's happening there is that they enjoy the pleasure aspects of attention, being found attractive etc and this is partly due to society saying that being sexy, sexually available and attractive is the main value for women. This is very hard to not be influenced by, even though it often also makes us feel anxious. Yet, at the same time, they know that there are downsides, but it's hard to give up the feel good aspect. That's why they want to be found attractive but not objectified. Basically have the good points but no negatives I.e. to have your cake and eat it.
If youre jealous of women who feel comfortable in bikins just say that
I have not cursed in 5-6 months and when you said the word " Slut " .. I was like YOOOO MAN haha i forgot this word even existed bro. You can do it bro i have faith in you brother
I'm a woman and when I learnt about modesty thru such videos, I fell into agreement almost instantly. By God's grace I never questioned this and never thought - why only women?
And ofcourse I changed my dressing.
And, I always thought you were British... Now when you mentioned you are an Aussie, I recognise that scene 😀
First off, in regards to other commenters, it's rather doubtful that makeup could be "evil," because not only did OT heroines wear makeup, but several of the OT patriarchs had daughters named after makeup. (And I say this as someone who doesn't wear makeup.) If Job could name a daughter from his final happiness "horn of eyeliner" (Keren-Happuch), obviously God does not object to eyeliner on girls, much less on women. And having established a principle that it's okay, everything else goes to taste and prudence.
Moving along... St. Francis de Sales gives fashion and modesty advice as part of An Introduction to the Devout LIfe, which everyone acknowledges to be a spiritual classic. And his idea is that a devout woman (or man) should dress with normal modesty, not excruciating modesty, and should keep up with fashion in a way that accords to her state in life, as long as she's not wasting her money or going too far. His ideal is that one should neither dress offensively to old people nor be outrageously old-fashioned to young people. He was French and understood social life.
There’s a lot of stuff that they did in the OT that we no longer do. Polygamy for example. I see makeup the same way. There’s no need for it.
Thank you for these thoughts. It really gave me a lot to meditate on. So charitable and practically helpful. Thanks!
When I’m watching this during lunch, and I take a big bite of food and Matt says, “I can see your breakfast,” and I spit my lunch out all over the table…
This took way to long to come out. None the less a very good video. Thanks for your hard work, Matt!
Modesty is a virtue that shows love to others and brings glory to God through appropriate dress.
(Tim Challies)
Dress Modestly!!!
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Modesty is clean, is wise, is classic, is elegant, is prudent, is not calling unnecesary atention.
I as a guy stopped wearing shorts even in 33°c weather. It's just too immodest for me
@ Zira Thank you! I live in MX. No one wears shorts in church but perhaps a visiting male tourist, occasionally.
Sagging pants, wife beaters or tight t-shirts with short sleeves are also immodest among men in my opinion…many orthodox Christian monasteries do not allow men with shorts or short sleeves, even in the deserts, even if modest.
Great explanation, thank you for bringing different perspectives and ways of thinking about the points you made but still staying faithful to Catholic teaching
modesty should be present in all of our actions! not only clothing, but also language, as you mentioned, and body language. keeping good posture, talking less about yourself, not being loud... also man often don't like when woman dress with dresses and modest skirts, but still show more than they should below the neck area (also arms/shoulders). woman usually do this in summer time and use it as excuse, which is not excusable, but man don't lead the way enduring the hot weather with a long shirt (for example).
woman should still be the "target" of modesty, but man need to recognize other aspects of modesty that certainly applies to them, even clothes
Fr Ripperger speaks of spiritual modesty, I am sure Blessed Mother is an example of this perfection.
@@daughterofchrist1775 yes! getting to know and serve her is the best way to imitate Christ! is it from a video you are referencing? I'd enjoy hearing Fr Ripperger
You know this reminds me of gym clothes that’re catered to women. I tried shopping for some new clothes and I had a very hard time finding anything modest.
Thank you for trying!
I'm a protestant who's looking into the Catholic church and I really enjoyed this view on modesty. I can't tell you how many times I've been to church and people take advantage of come as you are and look inappropriate. I can't even go to the gym without seeing people who are almost naked and bending over which shows everything.
YOU should dress how YOU want
Here's a spicy idea for a debate: RESOLVED: "Marian Modesty" guidelines should be embraced by all Catholic women.
😳 I've never heard about those, I'll look them up!
Ave! Regina Caelorum.
Is it possible to have a group who could share these guidelines with women, and offending men, who come to Mass and other Church functions improperly, but most especially, indecently, dressed? How do you approach such a personal subject without alienating the person?
And people think Islam is extreme. I actually love head coverings. I feel ten times more feminine and beautiful. I am not Muslim but because of what I wear I have been mistaken as Muslim a few times.
@@IONov990 Muslim women are the visual embodiments of every image you will ever see of the blessed Virgin Mary. The veil is beautiful, modest and reverential.
A quote directly from Versailles Catholics: "What is provocative, provokes¡" Billot de Lochner.
Growing up and being male, I was always taught by the world and family, both consciously and subconsciously, that the woman is the thermometer of a civilization's moral temperature; and they are the *ONLY* foundation off which a person should aspire to become the ultimate Catholic archetype.
When I reached my teens, I began contemplating the observable reality of Catholic women on every occasionand paid complete attention to their attitudestowards moral "rules." They always seemed to treat acts, even suggestions of sexual purity with contempt and resentment. I digested the message very intensely, so much so I'd go days without talking much to anyone.
That in every single case, I saw the female half of the Human species only become disgusted by the Biblical tenants of purity; it struck a cord with me. I sensed as though I was living in a Matrix but then God handed me a remedy dose. It actually changed my whole view of the world. That's how strong my perspective on it was. Depression set in for a many a month after that realization.
Thankfully, by the Grace of God, I soon found peace in he my creator and true Master, and of course honoring the Blessed Virgin Theotokos in her rightful place during that dreadful trial. Glory to God!
The positive from it all was that it refocused my worship like behavior towards women and onto the essence of God. I no longer look upon "ultimate female archetype" as a means of guaging how to reach holiness or to fulfill the mission God lied before me. Don't worship God for that anymore. I worship God for the sake of God. In this spirit I was liberated.
For clarity, I hold respect for females' role and am polite as much as the next person. I'm not commenting as a jab at women. It is an experience of a love affair, God simply won me over instead of the other. I think many males can relate. Just a well wisher here, so please don't shoot the messenger. I'm simply sharing my perspective. Do with it what you will. God bless you all.
St. Padre Pio was extremely strict regarding modesty and would turn women away from the confessional even when he just mystically knew that they dressed immodestly when at home alone. Super convicting. I wish it wasn't so hard to dress modestly. In the meantime I'll just have to keep wearing multiple dresses and adding top and skirt layers. 🙄😬😞
In my city the school board just past a new dress code. The only rules are the nipples genitalia and butt must be covered. It’s very sad to see how far Canadian values have drifted away from Christian values. Please pray for my country.
Oh, and it's not automatically immodest for men to wear shorts. Men have been wearing above-knee breeches for thousands of years, depending on the weather and the task. And both men and women have kilted up their skirts for various tasks to various heights, up to and including right under their butts and tucked into their loincloths and other underwear. The cut and fit of clothing makes a big difference, too.
People are automatically modest if they are dressed for the occasion, for safety, for cleanliness, and so on.
And for hundreds of thousands of years humans have been half naked whats your point
This isn’t going stop being a difficult topic until the actual reason for modesty is understood. It’s not because sex is bad (it’s not) or because one person can control what goes on inside another person’s mind (sorry, gentlemen, your lust is your problem). That kind of reasoning is exactly what leads to burkas and honor killings. It’s faulty reasoning which leads to other kinds of sin. Stop it.
The simplest way to put it is this: Bodies are not property. One’s body is not merely a vehicle for one’s soul. While not interchangeable they are inseparable. What you do with both *matters*. It is this fact which has been neglected in discussion of modesty. The idea that the soul is separate from the body and is just a meat puppet leads to hedonistic behavior, or worse, believing that flesh is corrupted and hating what God has created. Oof.
Bodies are not things to be bought and sold or remodeled like a house. Or taken out for a joyride. You *are* your body. Bloody well act like it.
Here’s one for men: in summer, you go to the beach, the weather is hot, you are hanging out with friends or family, you sit down to eat lunch at your friends house, I know it’s casual, maybe you came from the pool but please wear a shirt!!! It makes me so uncomfortable as a woman, even if it’s my relative. It seems like a really specific thing but it has happened to me multiple times. Men don’t see what’s the issue most of the time.
I avert my eyes when i see a shirtless man….im a lesbian…maybe you should do some self searching🤣
Hello 🙋🏼♀️
As you can see, I am a female. Yippee!!! I just wanted to let you know that I absolutely agree with the Saints! Modesty should be practiced by both males and females.
Females are perfectly aware of how they dress and why they dress the way they do..
Many times we dress to get that reaction from the opposite sex because we are not receiving the comments we want from our husbands or significant other.
However, I don’t think the majority of women are aware of the detrimental effects it has on the others who are not their spouses.
We must begin by educating our children, (male and female,) about the beauty and importance of our bodies. This is something parents are not doing .
Unfortunately, we are too busy rushing from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep.
The focus today is trying to keep our children off of their phones and other electronics. Modesty and self respect, etc. never even make it anywhere in the daily discussion.
And just incase your viewers want to know, I am in my mid fifties with four children ages 20 to 33 and I have a 13 year old granddaughter as well.
Lastly, I must tell you that I don’t think there is anything wrong with looking at a man who is wearing a kilt. Especially if he is showing his, “breakfast “!!!!😄😆😃
Blessings to you and your awesome show! Keep up the good work!
Kerry G🕊
Hmmm. Idk as a lesbian i love to be looked at and look at other women. I can also appreciate beauty in anyone. A nice body is nice to look at, and it feels nice to be complimented. Do you feel like nobody finds you attractive…is that why you want to punish other women?
Yoooo wtf is breakfast🤢🤢🤢🤣🤣🤣🤣
Great video! I agree with all you said especially a pornified culture. Recently, John Henry-Weston did a video with soap actor Austin Peck who is now a TLM Catholic. Soaps are pornographic and Austin has done some nude scenes. I had hoped Weston would have addressed this with him at the very least not to mislead his audience. Sadly, he didn't. I really appreciate you saying publically your struggle with swearing. I recall your discussion with Tim Gordon where you both swore. I have heard Tim use the F-bomb and frequently used Hell and damn. No matter how you look at things those curse words are sins. I can struggle with this too. So again I am grateful you addressed this publically and are working on changing behavior. We wish not to be a stumbling block to someone's sanctity!
Some middle eastern dude: “Ladies, uh…you exist to make bb and succ pp. marry your rapist. Cuz if another guys pp has been in there…ew dirty🤮✋🏼. Umm anyways uwu please stfu and make dinner while me and the boys go do stuff at church with the doors closed😏💦🫵🏽😎Ps i love you sorry i didnt mean to threaten to torture the sh*t out of you forever if you dont love me back…or did i😏😏
Cult-raised Women: 😍🥰😘💯💯💯🥳GOD is GOOD Yall😜🙈Lord Jesus, I am SO glad 2 be a WOMAN😍✌🏼i ❤️ being bred 🐮and being quiet🙊😎🤩
I’m choosing to dress modestly even at home 🏡. I don’t want to look frumpy but I wear bright colors. My dresses are midi length. I don’t have tattoos or rings in my nose. My makeup is natural, no green hair. I dress each day like it’s a special day of being “in Christ”. Dressing nicely puts me in a positive frame of mind, too.
That’s my 2 cents.
So what your saying is you dress in a way that makes u happy? Great sis! Me too! In whatever makes ME feel comfortable. You do you abd mind your own biznisssssss bisshhhhhhagsgajdk
Glad you touched on this topic. Even priests avoid taking about this, so as not to lose points with parishioners.
Yeah woulnt want bring up the rates at which children are abused in the catholic church eh?….
I'm just starting the video, so I hope this gets answered within it, but my thing about modesty is that its standards are constantly changing between cultures and within cultures. The US had an extremely different idea of modesty before the 20s. Someone from 1900 would think the most modest outfit i own (which is so modest it gets me weird looks when I'm out) looks prostitute-like because it shows my ankles. In Japan, very short skirts are considered acceptably modest as long as the top covers them entirely. So I don't think your initial tip of comparing our outfits to what prostitutes wear works very well. There needs to be a clear line across time of which body parts should and shouldn't be covered.
Mostly just commenting my initial thoughts for the algorithm. Can't wait to watch!!
Thank you for an intelligent reply! I feel bad for most of these people in the comments. Lots of older men and women who are clearly from more rural areas where education is suppressed and even demonized. Makes it easier to warp their minds. They latch on to it easily becuase of envy. They are envious that their beauty has faded and that young people are happier and enjoying giving and recieving attention. The thing we “hate” is the either thing we want or the thing we hate in ourselves
@szs2785 It isnt good attention lol.
I'm often amazed by how the wisdom of the saints is timeless, applying to their time, our time, and until the end of time -- especially on the topic of virtue
Thank you for sharing!
"Swearing is something I've struggled with"
Well, yes, you were born and raised in Australia
Champion mate. Thanks for seeking that which your heart sees as necessary. May the Lord lead you evermore.
I made a video about this. I had a job to model clothes for a Christian clothing company, however, some of their stuff really contradicted the bible, modesty being one of them. I decided not to become a regular model for them. Their my neighbor and I love them. I pray they create attire that aligns with the Bible in the future. I could never bring myself to wear a skimpy bikini that had a bible verse on it. Yep. It had a bible verse on it...🤦 God really changed my heart. I never dressed provocative, but I dress a little differently now that I'm on this side of Christ. It's been more of a journey learning to appreciate modesty and see the beauty in it. There's been 1 or 2 times I've worn something, then went back looking at it and said, nah, I'm gonna take that down and put something else on or change something.
You should have Brother JD on here regarding this topic.
His profile pic is a black cross with an orange background
How about we give this lecture to men who wear Speedos?
The dreaded budgie smugglers 😂
I honestly do not understand why people are so concerned about offending people for being Faithful to God in any manner, speech or otherwise. Of course we should be careful not to be condescending but at the same time we cannot twist Truth to be more agreeable to others. That could easily lead to slipping into grave error and more often than not it does. My suggestion to anyone, male or female to use this barometer on the way they dress in Church. Q: Would I get compliments from my secular friends at work or at a social gathering with those not following Jesus seriously? If yes, then it is likely to be inappropriate for Church. There are exceptions. However, women who wear blazers covering most of the areas that can be 'distracting' (unfortunately in this day and age one cannot even say only 'to men')...this to me is very smart for them to wear blazers because it is very simple, can be elegant and solve the issue quite easily and comfortably. My humble opinion. God Bless all! ➕
Re: modesty for men, it's usually a matter of either men who are trying to do something way out of bounds for most men (ie, dressing in drag and not as a joke, dressing like male prostitutes), or bringing leisure/work undress into more formal situations, or men who present themselves to others in a threatening way that involves sexuality. Or clothes that don't fit correctly, because men think the clothes still fit like they first did.
Most men do a good gentlemanly job, in a quiet way, so women tend to notice glaring immodesty.
Ewwwww if you hate women just say that
Bingo!! As one who is a sinner; who in my younger years could have fit all of those points at one time or another.
I enjoyed this video very much.
What has bothered me so much in the past about this topic was that as far as the sin goes, all the blame was placed on the woman. People in my life would make excuses for men who would allow their mind to go places it shouldn't. Im not even joking when I say that I had a religious leader tell me that even if a woman is not wearing something that is outright revealing, a man will work his eyes around and envision what is underneath. I don't know about you, but if a man is doing that it sounds like the sin is in him, not the woman.
It also really bothers me that no one talks about a woman's sexuality. We notice handsome men and are capable of thinking inappropriately too.
Amen sister.
The bible says marry your rapist…..
Could it be…that these stories were written by a bunch of crusty middle eastern men with superiority complexes?….
Regarding men: I find it really off-putting when they wear slim fit suits. It's almost as revealing of their figure as leggings and men must be really uncomfortable in them. There doesn't have to be a compromise between elegance and comfort but you have to save money for it, or you need to thrift it.
Hmm. Have u ever asked a man in a slim fit suit if he’s comfortable? Becuase most who i see wearing these are very proud to show off muscles! Also…if you dont like seeing the male form….you might be…you know…🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈
I think that whether a lady wears a skirt or a guy wears a kilt they should wear stockings or something to cover their legs. The blessed Virgin Mary is always shown completely covered, and so is St Joseph. I once heard a traditional priest say that no one should complain to him since he has to wear black in the summer from head to toe. Linen is one way of covering while still remaining cool in the summer. If you look at pictures from the 20th century in each decade, you can see how things slowly degraded.
The Blessed Virgin Mary lived in a time and place when cloth was relatively plentiful, and in a place where the sun was relatively strong and created a need for coverage, unlike Scotland in the times of kilts.
Hem lengths differ over time because of conditions, use, and affordability. Men in the Holy Land sowed seed with their skirts kilted up around their waists, and Peter sometimes went fishing "lightly clad," which meant basically in nothing. It wasn't meant to show off their legs; it was so they could do their jobs safely, without ruining their clothes.
@@suburbanbanshee I have never heard anyone claim that cloth was more available in biblical times before. That is a new argument. However, it is not true. Clothing was more expensive back then.
In every single culture the Blessed Virgin Mary is shown completely covered. So culture and time has nothing to do with it. Hem lengths have nothing to do with it either. If the hem length does not cover the legs completely, then stockings or something similar can do it instead. The idea that socks would be to expensive if a little longer is nonsense.
Obviously fishing and swimming has different rules than when out in the street. But even so, there is no way that women would have been "lightly clad" in the water if men were around.
Appreciate this Mr. Fradd
“Woe to women lacking Modesty.”
-Our Lady of Fatimá
In one district of prostitution I have seen, the prostitutes were dressed in a pretty but modest manner, by modern standards. These things are rather fluid.
Everything has meaning. Even the clothes you use. Think about what they mean.
Think about the kind of woman/man you want in your life and then think about what kind of woman/man your clothes are attracting.
Don't forget that modesty is contextual to the society in question. As C.S.Lewis said, "A girl in the Pacific islands wearing hardly any clothes and a Victorian lady completely covered in clothes might both be equally ‘modest’, proper, or decent, according to the standards of their own societies: and both, for all we could tell by their dress, might be equally chaste (or equally unchaste)."
In medieval Scotland, a man wearing a kilt and nothing else below his waist would not have been immodest at all. But a man in this day and age in America doing so would be a violation even of our state laws, and rightly so.
This topic has been on my mind since yesterday. While in Mass, I noticed something that has become increasingly normal in our culture (though I wasn't expecting to see it in Mass of all places), which is women wearing extra-large t-shirts with shorts so short that it looks like they are not wearing anything underneath the shirt. This was the case, but it was a girl that must have been maybe 12-14 years old standing in between her two modestly dressed parents. I was saddened by it. Shouldn't we start teaching this to our kids from a young age? Maybe I should've said something to the father in private and I'm a coward for not having done so.
Wow, you handled the video very well. What a sticky topic to talk about. This should be studied in all Catholic High Schools.
Yeah we need to warn young guys and girls that men in the Catholic church have a history of child abuse and that if anyone makes an inappropriate comment or touches them, they need to get the police involved immediately.
My suggestion for how to dress modestly is simply to always dress one degree higher than the average. It sends the right message and also prevents people from becoming to proud of their modesty.
I say we should cover up everything that needs to be covered up. This sounds good but the culture should not be the benchmark for what level of modesty is right, and also if we should be more modest, we should not fall short of that because of the danger of pride. I believe we should be as good as we can, and then battle the pride as it comes, because as a principle, doing the wrong thing to not be proud seems misguided.
@@andrewkelly2028 In my estimation the average for modesty is not as bad as we might think. There are naturally people I see who I think are dressed inappropriately, I live in a college town, but they are in a minority. This is why I think one degree higher that average is best. There are no objective standards that the universal church can set all over the world after all.
@@47StormShadow This is true but I do believe that there is an objective standard to basic modesty. There are certain parts of the body that just should not be revealed. And if a culture of people are completely naked, I don't think "one step above average" is necessarily the right option there. Maybe in our culture, if modesty is almost but not quite at the right level, that system would work.
What does "one degree higher" mean?
@@jonatikaWwe Its a general term naturally but the idea is: if the average person wears short shorts then wear shorts that are a couple inches longer or perhaps if the fashion is to show a little cleavage then don't show any.
Hi Matt this like my 3rd time within the last two months watching this and am a big fan, also I must appreciate you good works; cant tell you how it as transformed me and you are always in my prayers, it is a great resource for an essay (more like a letter ) am currently writing titled "A Case For Modesty", I will appreciate if anyone can throw more light on short gown as dressing modest
As a women I agree with you
I think the way to balance the discussion is to talk about modesty in terms of behavior. Most men don't tend to be immodest in their dress, but in terms of their behavior. So at the same time when talking to women or girls about dress, we should talk to men about their immodest behavior.
I can't even tell you how much this video was a blessing to me....And after a prayer wow! So my question is what book from TA is this from? I would like to read it. Is it the Suma or another writing?
This video thumbnail is gold xD
Well done, Matt!
I'm a man, not a stone. Don't tempt me. I'm a fallen. I can only resist so long. But if I sin, it's my fault, that's true.
Thumbnail was awesome. That is all 🙂
I live in a hot climate and parents have a difficult time getting their children particularly girls to dress modestly. Their fashion is more revealing than covering.
Yeah i live in hawaii and we are all half naked cuz guess what its hot and we love to swim and be outside 😊 and yet hawaii is known for its aloha spirit and love and kindess. Almosrt like…the things youve been taught arent true…
Good talk bro.
If a women is home clothed in the skirt or dress that she is going to wear outside or for Mass she will most likely look at herself in the mirror which is not a problem. However, there is a twofold issue. One is when she fails to turn around and view how it looks from the back. The other is when she fails to realize that her clothing is not glued onto her. It may look fine when she looks in the mirror but It will move as she moves. It will rise as she sits or kneels or even walking sometimes. This issue where it rises is exacerbated depending on how the girl/women sits. I have children and have dealt with this for years.
Great video!
By God, the first 60 seconds was 10x better than Dave Chappelle's comedy special
I think in order to improve the conversation around modesty, we should spend as much time on men's self-aggrandizing, braggadocious behavior as we do on women's clothing, since modesty is equally a virtue for both men and women.
Also, it should be emphasized that modesty is about temperance, that is, moderating one's passions. So, the focus should be on cooperating with God's grace primarily, and on our effects on others secondarily.
Whoever designed the thumbnail should be given a nice pat on the back -- good stuff.
The problem is that all women will say that they dress modestly even traditional minded women. I go to Mass and sometimes I think my head is going to screw off from trying to avoid the view of women whose attire is much too tight or is much too high. But they will say that they are dressing modestly.
You shouldn't be judgy and order others around, but it's *also* courteous to not dress in a way that distracts or arouses others.
As a guy who highly struggles with lust, I feel very distracted by women in tight or skin-baring clothes. I don't want to order them around, and they might even say "just get it under control dude," but to that I ask: if it's not a big deal, why do you *really* insist on dressing like this then? You know there's something important to it, otherwise you wouldn't be so insistant on dressing that way.
Everyone should be considerate to everyone essentially.
If you look at the biblical model of marriage and how it has been corrupted, I wonder if the equivalent of women deliberately invoking lust in men based on how they dress would be men invoking greed in woman. IE woman showing off skin(lust) and men showing off wealth(greed). Here modesty would apply to both equally, but the trap/pit is different. Thoughts?
Interesting concept. I never thought of this parallel. I have to say, though, as a woman, men can also invoke lust in women by the way they dress and act as well.
Saint cyprian has a great treatise on the dress of virgins too!
Okay I wear mechanic overall most days, work boots, and a ball cap Vietnam veteran. I only once wore a set of shorts to Mass we were down to the beach.
Sadly where I live some young men wear their pants with the waist under their butt cheeks. They think it makes them look cool.
And short shorts too.
Ugh! I see that a lot, it is rediculous and scruffy
We could ask for the virtue of modesty & all kinds of changes may take place.
Yeah youre right….the change would be that ultimate modesty is women and children in full length burqas unable to leave the house🙄 why dont we do the reverse and all the men unable to control themselves can stay tf home and away from me🤢
I now identify as a crusty old fart so this doesn't come up that often :)
There are some things we cannot know through reason and logic. Reason can get you far, but only so far as the limits God has put in place. Through the Holy Spirit we can attain a more complete understanding that transcends what our minds can comprehend.
Well said.
Yeah...
Where pride is the sovereign authority, religious morality is held in contempt. The real question is: why aren't the true moral authorities of Christ, namely the Catholic Bishops, explicitly and unrelentingly condemning this publicly?
Wearing a modest top covering all of my front up to my chin is still not enough at times, due to men just being men and knowing where my bosom is located, and thereby their eyes travel from my eyes, down to that approximate area and there they stare for a moment, and then smile quickly with approval, then look back up at my eyes as if to cover the tracks of their eye movements, because they think I didn't see what I just saw. But I did. And so, after long sleeves and heavy coverage of lose fitting blouses didn't work, then came adding on large cover ups, which I keep pulling across my chest in self defense, feeling the stares of judgmental ladies at mass, and becoming scared and mad at the same time, and frustrated and outraged, as all I had wanted was to worship Christ the King of Kings, and instead I get led into some sort of mental game of harassment and intimidation, based upon my modest garb not being modest enough. So then, I added in even more, when I decided to add on a shawl or decorative scarf to fall over my entire chest, or to even wear my jacket and not take it off at all. I'm single and it seems to me that being so makes me a walking target for hate of all kinds, and to despair that I will never be good enough nor ever really be accepted or fit in. Please reconsider leading others into sin this way, as I have to fight trying to keep going to a place where I never feel well with all of this heavy clothing, except at the communion rail-where at long last, its just me and Christ, and I melt into a love for Him and He for me, that makes me deeply know, just for that moment, what its really all about.
Your struggle is self inflicted. You are not responsible for how another feels unless you are hitting them over the head. Dress for the climate and circumstances.
I understand you completely, I am single and also wear modest clothing but men are just so gross. I will add you to my prayers.
@@markpatterson2517 A priest quietly came up to me after mass to instruct me to cover my shoulders the next time I came, when I had worn a sleeveless, lose fitting dress blouse with a high neckline. It was about 100 degrees that day, a year ago. I obeyed him out of reverence and being corrected. I don't want to cross him, as I have too much respect and love for him, a senior priest who is standing up against the destruction of the One True Church and the TLM. Pray for priests.
@@tmc187 I don't think its all gross if they are attracted to what God made, yet I read stories of women wearing a burka who get raped, as well as infants. I could just about wear anything it seems, as they know whats "in" there. Women who are married seem to be protected no kidding-by their husbands very presence who seem to convey a sort of force field of protection just by being there in the pew with them. My state in life, is single and devoted to Christ.
I'm very sorry to hear that. I will keep you in my prayers and I will try to remember to offer up my suffering during the heat(I live in a warm climate aswell) for you and other women who suffer.