PERFECT GUEST!!! Ms. Sarah your sense of humour and eloquency are top tier!!! Thank you guys for shedding a bit more light into the conversation. Honestly, it's made me appreciate us, people with dark beautiful skin even more. We truly are MAJESTIC and EXOTIC!!!
My nickname at home has always been 'Blacky,' and as a child, it used to bother me-until I attended an all-Arab school in Mombasa. There, I faced colorism and racism from students and teachers at a very young age. By the time I finished primary school, I knew my dark skin would be a challenge. Thankfully, my grandmother helped me build my self-esteem, and today, I’m proud to be Black.
The doll experiment I learnt as a freshman. It broke my heart And yes, Our unity is our Strength 💯 Sarah Chan is goofy, hilarious, blunt and faces her experience and journey with a lot of humor. Her awareness, acceptance and self-love is just so impressive, admirable. You're gorgeous! Your Dad did an amazing of affirming you in your formative years ❤❤❤❤
As a dark-skinned woman living in NY, my experience with colorism here has been quite different from what I experienced in Kenya. Back home, it was more overt, but here it feels more subtle and masked. In the corporate world, it sometimes feels like dark-skinned people are only needed for photo ops to show diversity. In dating, it’s hard to tell whether the interest is genuine or if it’s a form of fetishization. It’s a wild experience navigating these dynamics.
Sarah is so beautiful ❤ and her voice is so unique! Jules thanks for sharing your experiences so vulnerably. I wish we could have more episodes on colorism in KE especially at high end places ie,restaurants & lodges. How differently people get treated if they’re dating white people or are of lighter or dark complexions. There’s alot to unpack. Thanks to Sharon for giving space to Sarah & Jules. But i hope she can also share more of her experiences next time.
This is a very good conversation, I live in a South America and I’ve been told countless times that I’m not attractive enough just because I’m black, I’ve been asked to even bleach my skin color but I feel very comfortable at this point of my life
I love Jules' input as I have been a fan from over 25 days and I know how passionate she feels about this... growing up, I didn't necessarily feel the privilege but that is privilege too as I know from educating myself. When I wanted to date, I felt like a trophy, a token thing as a result of all the terms most of which felt like we were describing an object (particularly for pleasure). Rangi ya thao, yellow-yellow, made me to feel like a 'thing'. Like people never saw me as a person, I was a means to an end (Pleasure for a guy). I see dark skinned babes hating 'black beauty' but to me it seemed either as 1. we're affirming our people because of racism and colonialism or 2. the way we say 'black pearl' or 'yellow/pink/black diamond', it seemed like beauty beyond beauty. I noticed that men wanted me to see "if the drapes matched the rug" (do my lips match) and that was more offensive and reductive no matter how much privilege it was to get attention. It also feels like you are one of the rungs a man climbs on the ladder to whiteness cause I am not the lightest skinned person ever. There was a light skinned guy who told me he wanted a light skinned person like me to give him light skinned kids. Note not to marry, just a bm or something. Again it seemed to me like people just see you like a skin in a game, a means to an end. Even with friendships, both boys and girls, it felt like they liked me for my exterior and were not interested in what was inside me. What I was, not who I was and I felt like a social currency more often than not, for people to access social capital. Recently I asked a guy what his type is and he said light skinned among other qualities. He himself is not and I questioned if he's ever dated someone darker than him, he said no. I told him that preference was rooted in colourism cause the qualities he mentioned could be provided by any kind of woman. There is this aspect of 'wife' as well cause men give the vibe they date light skinned people in a madona/whore dichotomy. Fuck lighter, do nasty things with them, then in the end, marry a 'madona' to have a family with. Men don't really approach you to seek a serious anything. You are just a thing to have fun with for the night and do all the worst nastiest things they could imagine. There's so much work to be done to undo all this individually as well as a society and I am still looking for my tribe who like me for who I am.
@@grace_k_wangui I appreciate the empathy, thanks so much for the compliment too. I feel so seen, I am a writer of the working towards a Nobel variety. You made my day (read fourth quarter)
@@hazelbonareri4744 you are welcome. I really hope that you find yourself on a comfortable place and someone who loves you for you. All the best in your endeavours and writing!
It's interesting that other listeners felt that Jules spoke more cause I didn't think so as such. I listen to the podcast on Spotify then come on TH-cam to like and share my comments. I find Jules really passionate about different topics and felt that she spoke just as much as she does in other episodes - equal to Sharon and other guests. I think it's moreso that Sarah Chan has such a rich background of experiences both nationally and internationally that I would've loved to listen more about her background AS A PERSON than just from the dark-skinned lens - please bring her back as a guest - I'll look for her tbh so it's manageable. In terms of my personal experience as a mid-tone black woman (I agree with Sharon's perspective on this), colourism started at home but didn't phase me much. Most of my siblings are the same shade as me except for one who is 'lighter'. We mostly saw them as pale and because we were the majority as a darker shade, we mostly saw them as sickly-looking rather than having a complexion we admired. Other than that, I don't think I've experienced colourism like that except in the UK where I now live
First, let me just say that this is a looooong conversation, and I’d love to see a part two, with more guests to explore this topic from all angles-both light and dark. Secondly, I applaud you, Jules and Sarah, for sharing your experiences as dark-skinned women. This isn’t an easy topic to discuss, and your openness is powerful. I’ll admit, at the beginning, I thought, "Oh my goodness, Jules keeps going on and on, not letting the guest speak!" But as the conversation went on, I realized she was sharing her own experience-rightfully so. In hindsight, I think Sharon could have been the one to take the lead as the host, with Jules and Sarah sharing their stories. I understand this is a tough conversation, and as a light-skinned woman, Sharon might have felt like she didn’t have as much insight or didn’t know how to navigate certain questions. But I think her natural curiosity, which makes her a great host, could have really worked well in this case-maybe it’s the journalist in her! But this doesn't take away from anything Jules has done here. Kudos to her, and I’m looking forward to more of these discussions. Also, shoutout to the production and editing team! I’m sure the footage and insights were long and rich, so finding a way to condense everything into an hour and a half must have been a tough job. You nailed it. Lastly, as a dark-skinned woman myself, I’ve always looooooooooved Sudanese people. When I see a dark-skinned woman, my jaw drops! I guess I didn’t write much about my own experience as a dark-skinned woman, but all I’ll say is-it’s a journey, and it’s the only one I have. So, I’m learning to love my skin, and I make it a point to walk with my head held high, no matter where I am in the journey.
Let's cut Julia some kidogo slack . I'm sure she didn't mean to overpower the conversation or so . She was probably excited about the conversation which is always is but it wasnt as pronounced because the previous guest have majorly been friends , people she's comfortable with. Even from over 25 days she's always been enthusiastic, that sometimes came off as overpowering . I'm sure she's gotten the feedback and will do better in subsequent episodes❤ IRIP for life 😊
Thank you so much for this conversation. Proudly team Melanin. I use my platform, which is my classroom to empower the girls to love themselves. Infact my students know me for the slogan 'unapologetically Melanin'
This has taken me back to my first day in primary school( I never went to kindergarten so this was my first socialization away from home). I immediately earned the nickname Blackie because apparently I was the darkest shade of melanin in my class. This was a long journey of struggling with self-esteem issues.To this day, even walking in the streets I will have someone cat call...sema Blackie, unaringa na vile unakaa msudanese. It does not bother me as much as a 30-something year old, but that really did a number on me, it affected my dating life and was one of the factors that led me to make a decision to not have children. I remember being turned down for marketing work in Uni because they wanted the yellow yellow, Bonface Mwangi(when he had an office hapo karibu Java Kstreet) turned me down, when I went to have a portfolio done, as in being dark was made something to be ashamed of. Then when you go abroad, it becomes a race thing...but then they bundle all of us together it is no longer a colorism thing. This conversations are very important tbh. I hope this is one of many. Also guys, please allow the guests to speak a little more otherwise just say they are moderators for your conversations as IRiP
This is a much needed conversation. Great job ladies on trying to cut down on what caught your attention segment so we can get more on the actual topic. Tbh, this felt like more of Jules story than Sarah's. I understand Jules is very passionate about this topic & gets hot about it but it would be nice when guests are allowed to speak more than the hosts. Another alternative, at least have Sharon take the lead cause she'll be more objective. It's great that we are starting to speak on such matters, we are off to a good start. I would love for Sarah to come back & allow her to speak more on her experience. Rem when you invite guests over, it's more about them and less about the hosts since we are not familair with the guests like we are with Jules, Sharon & Muthoni for the OGs. Please bring Sarah back if possible. I love how soft spoken she is & her sarcastic humor is chef's kiss. Thank you ladies for all the work involved in making this podcast a success. A little side note: Anyone here using thr fingo app👀. Been waiting for feedback about how it works for Diaspora.
love this but Jules you need to give your guests more time to talk. You interrupted her quite a bit and I feel like she has such a diverse experience. She talked about living in Sudan, Kenya and US and I think also Toronto. These are such different places and there was a bit more she wanted to say but you interrupted/over powered the conversation with your guest even dismissed certain things without giving her space to talk more. Like I would have loved for you to ask tell me more about your experience in x,y,z, and then give 2 min to talk and inquire more if she is silent, which this guest isn't. As someone who lived in Africa the abroad there is so much more to talk about if you gave her time and didn't interrupt. So going forward ask questions and keep quite for 2 min, then talk as much as you want and before you move on ask your guest to say something before you move on to the next topic of question. I am not say don't disagree or offer your own perspective. JUST GIVE OTHERS SPACE TO TALK FOR 2 MINUTES AT LEAST WHEN A NEW TOPIC IS INTRODUCED. Even ask Sharon, I know you didn't say much here but is there anything you quickly want to add. If not you move on.
Interviewing skills is a must. When to listen and when to speak. I don't understand people who ask people to appear on their shows but do not want them to speak.
Absolutely. I really wanted to hear the guest. There’s this time she even said she had something to say and she prompted Sharon instead. Please bring her back if you can. Then give her airtime😊
In my formative years, I didn’t even know terms like "light skins are pretty and dark skins are not" existed. It wasn’t until I was exposed to the real world (public school😂), with its biases and bullying, that I began to grapple with these ideas. So whenever someone called me pretty, I struggled to take it as a genuine compliment. Instead, I would question their intentions-were they saying it because they truly thought I was pretty, or simply because of my lighter skin tone? and ladies that is one downside of being light skin
Omg 😢😢😢 that letter is so emotional. I remember a time when I'd spend so much time under the sun so I can be dark enough to look exotic and attract rich foreigners. I would stay under the sun until my skin was tingling and burning. Society will always keep shifting but God makes us perfectly with no mistakes ❤ there's even a time I was out and a white guy was interesting in me and I could not understand I literally asked him " I thought you guys go for darker skinned black women" and he asked me what I mean. He was young, from a predominantly white area so he was conditioned to see race as is and not have a color preference and literally that Is when I knew ooh so there's white people who don't really have a color preference but on the other hand I had a dating app experience with a white guy that told me I'm cool but he prefers darker skinned black women 🙆♀️🙆♀️🙆♀️🙆♀️🙆♀️🙆♀️ mambo ni mengi, rangi ni mingi I don't know why we keep on suffering 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I live in Norway, relocated here as an adult. Currently pursuing a degree in nursing. Well being an African surrounded by majority whites, it’s not easy forming friendships and in group discussions i feel excluded and mostly in the shadows! I remember in first year we had group work and in my group, my fellow students (all white)didn’t understand the difference between a bachelor thesis and a research article , and the assignment given to us was to at least include one peer reviewed article. They kept submitting bachelor thesis to our teacher, ignoring my input on the same and refusing to submit the research article i had found until when our teacher got irritated getting 5 diff submission which were thesis, that’s when my team decided to send in the article i shared with them and the teacher approved it! i’m now in third/final year but the experience of being the dark one has not been easy. said all this to ask a question, how do you guys, my fellow africans think/feel a white person would be treated in Africa if they relocated there? went to school there? would it be easy for them to be accepted by the society?
Sorry, you went through this! I believe they would be embraced as we’re very accepting of foreigners but also because of our history of colonialism and the tendency to regard all things white as more superior, their opinions would be held in more regard. I think they’d have a smooth sailing. Thankfully now we’re more aware of how history and the Western/Europe centric media we consume has for long influenced our perception of our selves as black people and VV, how what most of what they are exposed to about Africa is not a holistic representation of the who are are as people.
Oh my! Reading your comment as an African living in Norway ( moved as an adult too), currently doing my third year in Sosialt Arbeid! Your narration is so relatable, almost surreal! I'm currently working on a group exam( really hate those) and having to deal with my basis group. It's exhausting. It's hard to have my input/ideas respected or even tried. And it doesn't help that I speak with an accent. Its really frustrating given that my results in individual exams are pretty good. I did work with white people in Africa and yes, they are accepted for the most but do face challenges too, very different from the ones we face but challenges none the less.
Great conversation .I expected more from Sara..she wasn't given time to give us her story,it would have been interesting to hear how she navigated colorism to where she is now..
I am dark-skinned and I have been in two interview situations where I later realised they really wanted to give the lighter-skinned women the job but ultimately, the final decision wasn’t theirs. It's ironic considering the jobs had nothing to do with appearance just that the male interviewers probably wanted someone "pretty" to look at. I also agree with what Jules and Sarah said about empowering your daughters. Growing up, my nickname was 'Karembo,' so I grew up knowing I was pretty. So when I encountered the light-skin bias in the real world, the confidence instilled in me from childhood ensured that it never fazed me. Tell your dark-skinned daughters they're beautiful. Still loving the pod, guys! 💜💜💜
Jules you nailed it 100% . Its a High Time Africans we WAKE UP and Stick to our Thing and drop all those foreign Policies which dont Serve and benefit us but rather benefit the Masters.
Yes Jules. There are some Kikuyu's who have white blood. You should read a book by Ngugi wa Thiong'o called Dreams in a Time of War: A Childhood Memoir. He talks about how Italians who were prisoners of World War 2 were brought to Kenya in Limuru. They were nicknamed them Bono from "bonjourno". Eventually those Italians had kids with some women in the area.
42:26 that's exactly what I think! Like if you're dark skinned and your 'type' is light skinned.... It says a lot about yourself and how you regard yourself!
This topic is so funny but educative 😂😂😂😂😂 kwanza the error error error part 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 It's really interesting how all races have different shades, it's beautiful to see so many shades of skin color. Maybe one day we'll get to a point as humanity where we see the beauty in uniqueness ❤❤❤
My sister was the one who made me realise that I was dark skinned. You see, my mom was that Muranga brown and my dad was dark skinned. From my sister's tone, I figured it was not good that my skin tone was leaning towards my dad's skin tone. It's taken well into my campus days to build my self esteem coz I was also a scrawny babe. Double homicide. Now... I attract who I attract and I'm good now.
This conversation is so layered because there is also the aspect of where you sit at the intersection of being completely dark and completely light. I say this because I have been called out severally for saying am dark but am also not light according to the African standards or any standards anywhere. Crazy stuff.
This conversation is so dear to me as a dark skin woman in kenya. I am quit comfortable in my skin but recently I was out with my little niece [she's light skin) and some old uncle bought her an apple, turned towards me and told me how I wouldn't get offered anything in life because I don't look like her "ungekuwa unakaa kama yeye hata wewe ngekuitishia yako😢😂😂" That has stuck with me .Everyday is a journey and I love my skin its beautiful it makes me ME!.The darker the Berry the sweeter the juice 😉❤
What a terrible thing to say to another human being. I hope he one day saw the error of his words but even if that doesn't happen, you are beautiful and they cannot take that power! 👏🏾
Great conversation! Kudos to the team. It would have been even more impactful to also have a conventional lighter skinned person on the panel to share their experiences. Light skin definitely gives you privilege. However, it still is a double edged sword. I have noticed a lighter skinned people tend to be objectified, work harder to prove themselves to fight the narrative that they were only hired because of their looks etc. This is a heavily nuanced conversation.
So maasai are predominantly black. That is the environment i grew up in. There are lighter ones but there never really was a point to make that distinction. Hio ndio ilikua ushago. Kuenda shule ya town nikiwa class seven is when i learnt the term black beauty. I was confused because i didn't grow up with it. Siku moja nikipeana story nikasema "na ni light skin beauty " and my friends were confused then said only the word black beauty existed -that is when i realised being black was not synonymous to being beautifull unless the society decided you were but they must remind you that you are in fact pretty but black.
#colourism just watched the whole episode and thank you for always reminding everyone on how colourism is still an issue. #IRIP on sticking to the issues that matter.
4:52 I feel like this podcast was released at the right time... The Kenyan celeb marriage ceremony that took place a week ago really got people talking... Iykyk
I loved the conversation. Maybe the reason why some of us feel like Jules ' overpowered ' the conversation is because the conversation wasn't structured.... It feels like it was a girls' hangout of sorts to vent and talk about their different experiences ❤.
I wish the guest had an opportunity to speak more. I barely got anything from her. Julia it’s great that you are passionate, next time let’s allow others to speak too❤️
The tribes that live where settlers lived have a lightness to their skin and softness to their hair that isn't very "African". I always chalked it up to climate but now that you mentioned that story Jules, I'm curious. I wanna dig deeper.
This conversation I so love.I always get triggered when I observe colorism playing out and wow does having conversations about it make people uncomfortable. Anyway, I come from a tribe in Northern Uganda that is known for having darker skinned and “aggressive” people. The latter mostly because of historical aspects of having more men (80%)conscripted into the army during the colonial period because of their physical attributes. Because of a prolonged civil war, a number of us joined boarding school in the capital Kampala and the derogatory comments where insane.I am dark skinned but an ‘acceptable’ range of chocolate that most found conventional. The privilege this came with was being told I am ‘better’ than people from my ethnic group and getting called dark beauty occasionally(now i despise this reference immensely because no one says brown beauty or white beauty). It took me a while to learn how harmful these backhanded compliments where. Unfortunately as a result of colorism so many childhood friends I know have done the most to distance themselves from our culture and embody mannerisms of Bantu to fit in
I was at Dubai airport a couple of years ago and wandered into a skincare store to kill time on my layover. The security guy came up to me and was "offering me help" by directing me to the lightening creams 🙃
Really important topic to explore, thanks so much for sharing your experiences. feedback would be that the girl in the orange trousers talks for way too long, unfortunatley i had to skip many times to get to the part where other people were talking too.
We however have to talk about HUMILIENTERTAINMENT. We cannot just sit here and accept that people can make jokes out of our looks, in the name of its funny. At people's emotional expense. NO! Speaking as a disabled woman as well with a disability from birth, children should not be allowed to bully other children, call them names because of their physical, behavioral or other differences in the name of, "They are just kids." Having been bullied all my school life because of my physical difference, I know those kids knew what they were doing and they are the same mean horrible adults we have on the internet that believe in eugenics. We have to do better.
I believe in positive globalization. Share culture, take what's good and reject the rest. I've noticed that Africans sometimes overcorrect when we're endeavouring to love our culture. Not everything our ancestors did was great and not everything foreign is evil. Christianity, for example, saved me and my sisters from FGM.
Guys, I was dating a Luo guy. He's dark skinned and so is his daughter. I patad he'd bought her some carrot oil ATI she's too dark for the world to embrace.😢😢 He was using the oil on himself as well. I tried so much to convince him that black is beautiful and powerful but nope. 😢
After this let’s get into “Height-ism”. Please please please. We also don’t control what height we are born into but somehow it is okay to make fun of short people (esp men) …?!
I feel like Juled really was the one being interviewed. Sarah Chan didn’t even speak much. What’s the point of bringing guest when you are the one to be speaking 90% of the time .
Jules doesn't seem to do well with guests, as she is always taking lead of the episode, and expounding on her personal perspective more than the guest. This means she is taking up too much time by not getting straight to her point. Then what is the point of having a guest if you do a larger shatr of the talking?
Damn, I played against Sarah in high school she kicked my toots several times. they used to have this perfect chemistry with her sister yoh it's good seeing her
Jules I truly dont get why you say you are dark skin. Unless the studio lights lie to my eyes you are in the middle of black skin spectrum....I'm not really minimizing your experiences but, eh! That said have....please have a conversation with lighter skin women and youll quickly learn one thing, it is a mirage of privilege. Just being lighter skinned means zilch if you dont put in work.
Same for me. How about respecting other people preferences cause you can't state/command a fixed standard of attraction for everybody? Also, women commonly say that they prefer tall dark men. Would this also be reverse colourism? Or its only an issue because dark skinned girls have a problem with what some men prefer? Also, light skinned girls challenges are a lot as well. This discussion was too one sided, victim mentality, entitled, external sided and not comprehensive. It would have been best if the conversation was redirected to women basically having self love and self worth to choose where they are celebrated and wanted.
How about respecting other people preferences cause we can't state/command/police a fixed standard of attraction for everybody. Also, women commonly say that they prefer tall dark men. Would this also be reverse colourism? Or its only an issue because dark skinned girls have a problem with what some men prefer? Also, light skinned girls challenges are a lot as well. This discussion was too one sided, victim mentality, entitled, external sided and not comprehensive. It would have been best if the conversation was redirected to women basically having self love and self worth to choose where they are celebrated and wanted.
FYI Christianity didn’t come from the westerners, it went to them from us. Please refer to the Bible on Acts chapter 8: Philip and the Ethiopian Eunuch story.
Great conversation, though I kinda feel Sarah was not given more time to speak. Feedback: can we have the guests speak more than the hosts 🙂
Thank you for your feedback
I totally agree with Mutheu.Same thing happened with Edith Kimani @@ItsRelatedIPromise
Agreed
rigghtttt, I wanted to mention the same. and she's being interrupted alot
I agree.
PERFECT GUEST!!! Ms. Sarah your sense of humour and eloquency are top tier!!! Thank you guys for shedding a bit more light into the conversation. Honestly, it's made me appreciate us, people with dark beautiful skin even more. We truly are MAJESTIC and EXOTIC!!!
I think Jules was passionate about the subject!lets give her grace ❤❤
For sure.❤
She was ,and I loved every bit of it ❤
A moment for Jules and the orange pants especially 😍👏🏾 You look beautiful!
💯 🎉❤
Thank you!!
As a south Sudanese, this episode was much needed 🇸🇸🇸🇸🇸🇸
My nickname at home has always been 'Blacky,' and as a child, it used to bother me-until I attended an all-Arab school in Mombasa. There, I faced colorism and racism from students and teachers at a very young age. By the time I finished primary school, I knew my dark skin would be a challenge. Thankfully, my grandmother helped me build my self-esteem, and today, I’m proud to be Black.
Her English is soo perfect..plus her voice 😍
And her Swahili too
The doll experiment I learnt as a freshman. It broke my heart
And yes, Our unity is our Strength 💯
Sarah Chan is goofy, hilarious, blunt and faces her experience and journey with a lot of humor. Her awareness, acceptance and self-love is just so impressive, admirable. You're gorgeous! Your Dad did an amazing of affirming you in your formative years ❤❤❤❤
As a dark-skinned woman living in NY, my experience with colorism here has been quite different from what I experienced in Kenya. Back home, it was more overt, but here it feels more subtle and masked. In the corporate world, it sometimes feels like dark-skinned people are only needed for photo ops to show diversity. In dating, it’s hard to tell whether the interest is genuine or if it’s a form of fetishization. It’s a wild experience navigating these dynamics.
Thank your for sharing
🎯🎯🎯🎯
Sarah is so beautiful ❤ and her voice is so unique!
Jules thanks for sharing your experiences so vulnerably. I wish we could have more episodes on colorism in KE especially at high end places ie,restaurants & lodges. How differently people get treated if they’re dating white people or are of lighter or dark complexions. There’s alot to unpack.
Thanks to Sharon for giving space to Sarah & Jules. But i hope she can also share more of her experiences next time.
This is a very good conversation, I live in a South America and I’ve been told countless times that I’m not attractive enough just because I’m black, I’ve been asked to even bleach my skin color but I feel very comfortable at this point of my life
Sarah's eyes are gorgeous. She's beautiful
I love Jules' input as I have been a fan from over 25 days and I know how passionate she feels about this... growing up, I didn't necessarily feel the privilege but that is privilege too as I know from educating myself. When I wanted to date, I felt like a trophy, a token thing as a result of all the terms most of which felt like we were describing an object (particularly for pleasure). Rangi ya thao, yellow-yellow, made me to feel like a 'thing'. Like people never saw me as a person, I was a means to an end (Pleasure for a guy). I see dark skinned babes hating 'black beauty' but to me it seemed either as 1. we're affirming our people because of racism and colonialism or 2. the way we say 'black pearl' or 'yellow/pink/black diamond', it seemed like beauty beyond beauty. I noticed that men wanted me to see "if the drapes matched the rug" (do my lips match) and that was more offensive and reductive no matter how much privilege it was to get attention. It also feels like you are one of the rungs a man climbs on the ladder to whiteness cause I am not the lightest skinned person ever. There was a light skinned guy who told me he wanted a light skinned person like me to give him light skinned kids. Note not to marry, just a bm or something. Again it seemed to me like people just see you like a skin in a game, a means to an end. Even with friendships, both boys and girls, it felt like they liked me for my exterior and were not interested in what was inside me. What I was, not who I was and I felt like a social currency more often than not, for people to access social capital. Recently I asked a guy what his type is and he said light skinned among other qualities. He himself is not and I questioned if he's ever dated someone darker than him, he said no. I told him that preference was rooted in colourism cause the qualities he mentioned could be provided by any kind of woman. There is this aspect of 'wife' as well cause men give the vibe they date light skinned people in a madona/whore dichotomy. Fuck lighter, do nasty things with them, then in the end, marry a 'madona' to have a family with. Men don't really approach you to seek a serious anything. You are just a thing to have fun with for the night and do all the worst nastiest things they could imagine. There's so much work to be done to undo all this individually as well as a society and I am still looking for my tribe who like me for who I am.
Sorry for your experience 💜by any means though are you writer- because the potential baby...IT'S THEREEE!!
@@grace_k_wangui I appreciate the empathy, thanks so much for the compliment too. I feel so seen, I am a writer of the working towards a Nobel variety. You made my day (read fourth quarter)
@@hazelbonareri4744 you are welcome. I really hope that you find yourself on a comfortable place and someone who loves you for you.
All the best in your endeavours and writing!
It's interesting that other listeners felt that Jules spoke more cause I didn't think so as such. I listen to the podcast on Spotify then come on TH-cam to like and share my comments. I find Jules really passionate about different topics and felt that she spoke just as much as she does in other episodes - equal to Sharon and other guests. I think it's moreso that Sarah Chan has such a rich background of experiences both nationally and internationally that I would've loved to listen more about her background AS A PERSON than just from the dark-skinned lens - please bring her back as a guest - I'll look for her tbh so it's manageable.
In terms of my personal experience as a mid-tone black woman (I agree with Sharon's perspective on this), colourism started at home but didn't phase me much. Most of my siblings are the same shade as me except for one who is 'lighter'. We mostly saw them as pale and because we were the majority as a darker shade, we mostly saw them as sickly-looking rather than having a complexion we admired. Other than that, I don't think I've experienced colourism like that except in the UK where I now live
First, let me just say that this is a looooong conversation, and I’d love to see a part two, with more guests to explore this topic from all angles-both light and dark.
Secondly, I applaud you, Jules and Sarah, for sharing your experiences as dark-skinned women. This isn’t an easy topic to discuss, and your openness is powerful.
I’ll admit, at the beginning, I thought, "Oh my goodness, Jules keeps going on and on, not letting the guest speak!" But as the conversation went on, I realized she was sharing her own experience-rightfully so. In hindsight, I think Sharon could have been the one to take the lead as the host, with Jules and Sarah sharing their stories. I understand this is a tough conversation, and as a light-skinned woman, Sharon might have felt like she didn’t have as much insight or didn’t know how to navigate certain questions. But I think her natural curiosity, which makes her a great host, could have really worked well in this case-maybe it’s the journalist in her! But this doesn't take away from anything Jules has done here. Kudos to her, and I’m looking forward to more of these discussions.
Also, shoutout to the production and editing team! I’m sure the footage and insights were long and rich, so finding a way to condense everything into an hour and a half must have been a tough job. You nailed it.
Lastly, as a dark-skinned woman myself, I’ve always looooooooooved Sudanese people. When I see a dark-skinned woman, my jaw drops!
I guess I didn’t write much about my own experience as a dark-skinned woman, but all I’ll say is-it’s a journey, and it’s the only one I have. So, I’m learning to love my skin, and I make it a point to walk with my head held high, no matter where I am in the journey.
💯💯
Thank for sharing and your feedback
First time encountering this channel, thank you for this topic. I will definitely subscribe!
Loved the show. Great topic and great discussion.
Feedback: Would love to hear more from Sarah Chan, maybe do a part 2
Let's cut Julia some kidogo slack . I'm sure she didn't mean to overpower the conversation or so . She was probably excited about the conversation which is always is but it wasnt as pronounced because the previous guest have majorly been friends , people she's comfortable with. Even from over 25 days she's always been enthusiastic, that sometimes came off as overpowering . I'm sure she's gotten the feedback and will do better in subsequent episodes❤
IRIP for life 😊
❤❤❤
Thank you for this ! People need to learn to share feedback in a better way.
Thank you so much for this conversation.
Proudly team Melanin.
I use my platform, which is my classroom to empower the girls to love themselves.
Infact my students know me for the slogan 'unapologetically Melanin'
Jules was here to offload. Good on her!
I got the same feeling too. She needed to say these things to heal her 20 something self
This has taken me back to my first day in primary school( I never went to kindergarten so this was my first socialization away from home). I immediately earned the nickname Blackie because apparently I was the darkest shade of melanin in my class. This was a long journey of struggling with self-esteem issues.To this day, even walking in the streets I will have someone cat call...sema Blackie, unaringa na vile unakaa msudanese. It does not bother me as much as a 30-something year old, but that really did a number on me, it affected my dating life and was one of the factors that led me to make a decision to not have children. I remember being turned down for marketing work in Uni because they wanted the yellow yellow, Bonface Mwangi(when he had an office hapo karibu Java Kstreet) turned me down, when I went to have a portfolio done, as in being dark was made something to be ashamed of. Then when you go abroad, it becomes a race thing...but then they bundle all of us together it is no longer a colorism thing. This conversations are very important tbh. I hope this is one of many. Also guys, please allow the guests to speak a little more otherwise just say they are moderators for your conversations as IRiP
Thank you for sharing
This is a much needed conversation. Great job ladies on trying to cut down on what caught your attention segment so we can get more on the actual topic.
Tbh, this felt like more of Jules story than Sarah's. I understand Jules is very passionate about this topic & gets hot about it but it would be nice when guests are allowed to speak more than the hosts. Another alternative, at least have Sharon take the lead cause she'll be more objective.
It's great that we are starting to speak on such matters, we are off to a good start. I would love for Sarah to come back & allow her to speak more on her experience. Rem when you invite guests over, it's more about them and less about the hosts since we are not familair with the guests like we are with Jules, Sharon & Muthoni for the OGs.
Please bring Sarah back if possible. I love how soft spoken she is & her sarcastic humor is chef's kiss. Thank you ladies for all the work involved in making this podcast a success.
A little side note: Anyone here using thr fingo app👀. Been waiting for feedback about how it works for Diaspora.
Thanks for the conversation .
Being dark skinned is a struggle especially in a society with pretty privilege .
Where Pretty =Rangi ya Thao
What a necessary conversation 👏🏽 maybe next time, we can also speak about the downside of being light skin 😮
Apart from sunburn and ageing faster, there is nothing else I can think of, they always have privileges.
This was a great episode!! please keep shedding light on social conditioning ❤ Beautiful guest and lovely hosts as always!! 🌸
Watching from Australia to hear Sarah! She’s absolutely gorgous! Love her.
Sharon mentioning Ruto is a bit funny😂😂
love this but Jules you need to give your guests more time to talk. You interrupted her quite a bit and I feel like she has such a diverse experience. She talked about living in Sudan, Kenya and US and I think also Toronto. These are such different places and there was a bit more she wanted to say but you interrupted/over powered the conversation with your guest even dismissed certain things without giving her space to talk more. Like I would have loved for you to ask tell me more about your experience in x,y,z, and then give 2 min to talk and inquire more if she is silent, which this guest isn't.
As someone who lived in Africa the abroad there is so much more to talk about if you gave her time and didn't interrupt. So going forward ask questions and keep quite for 2 min, then talk as much as you want and before you move on ask your guest to say something before you move on to the next topic of question.
I am not say don't disagree or offer your own perspective. JUST GIVE OTHERS SPACE TO TALK FOR 2 MINUTES AT LEAST WHEN A NEW TOPIC IS INTRODUCED. Even ask Sharon, I know you didn't say much here but is there anything you quickly want to add. If not you move on.
Couldn't agree more ❤
Well said.
Interviewing skills is a must. When to listen and when to speak. I don't understand people who ask people to appear on their shows but do not want them to speak.
Absolutely. I really wanted to hear the guest. There’s this time she even said she had something to say and she prompted Sharon instead. Please bring her back if you can. Then give her airtime😊
My thoughts exactly, I was listening to this on Spotify but I felt I had to come here to express this.
In my formative years, I didn’t even know terms like "light skins are pretty and dark skins are not" existed. It wasn’t until I was exposed to the real world (public school😂), with its biases and bullying, that I began to grapple with these ideas. So whenever someone called me pretty, I struggled to take it as a genuine compliment. Instead, I would question their intentions-were they saying it because they truly thought I was pretty, or simply because of my lighter skin tone? and ladies that is one downside of being light skin
Omg 😢😢😢 that letter is so emotional. I remember a time when I'd spend so much time under the sun so I can be dark enough to look exotic and attract rich foreigners. I would stay under the sun until my skin was tingling and burning. Society will always keep shifting but God makes us perfectly with no mistakes ❤ there's even a time I was out and a white guy was interesting in me and I could not understand I literally asked him " I thought you guys go for darker skinned black women" and he asked me what I mean. He was young, from a predominantly white area so he was conditioned to see race as is and not have a color preference and literally that Is when I knew ooh so there's white people who don't really have a color preference but on the other hand I had a dating app experience with a white guy that told me I'm cool but he prefers darker skinned black women 🙆♀️🙆♀️🙆♀️🙆♀️🙆♀️🙆♀️ mambo ni mengi, rangi ni mingi I don't know why we keep on suffering 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I live in Norway, relocated here as an adult. Currently pursuing a degree in nursing. Well being an African surrounded by majority whites, it’s not easy forming friendships and in group discussions i feel excluded and mostly in the shadows! I remember in first year we had group work and in my group, my fellow students (all white)didn’t understand the difference between a bachelor thesis and a research article , and the assignment given to us was to at least include one peer reviewed article. They kept submitting bachelor thesis to our teacher, ignoring my input on the same and refusing to submit the research article i had found until when our teacher got irritated getting 5 diff submission which were thesis, that’s when my team decided to send in the article i shared with them and the teacher approved it! i’m now in third/final year but the experience of being the dark one has not been easy. said all this to ask a question, how do you guys, my fellow africans think/feel a white person would be treated in Africa if they relocated there? went to school there? would it be easy for them to be accepted by the society?
Sorry, you went through this! I believe they would be embraced as we’re very accepting of foreigners but also because of our history of colonialism and the tendency to regard all things white as more superior, their opinions would be held in more regard. I think they’d have a smooth sailing. Thankfully now we’re more aware of how history and the Western/Europe centric media we consume has for long influenced our perception of our selves as black people and VV, how what most of what they are exposed to about Africa is not a holistic representation of the who are are as people.
Oh my! Reading your comment as an African living in Norway ( moved as an adult too), currently doing my third year in Sosialt Arbeid! Your narration is so relatable, almost surreal!
I'm currently working on a group exam( really hate those) and having to deal with my basis group. It's exhausting.
It's hard to have my input/ideas respected or even tried.
And it doesn't help that I speak with an accent. Its really frustrating given that my results in individual exams are pretty good.
I did work with white people in Africa and yes, they are accepted for the most but do face challenges too, very different from the ones we face but challenges none the less.
Sending love ❤
Sarah has a beautiful voice ❤
Ikr!
Jules: I need a name of a villain
Also Jules: Brayo
This took me OUT😭
Sarah is soo beautiful…😊 Sudanese and Senegalese are gorgeous generally…
You ladies look stunning wow!
And the colour Coordination 😍
Great conversation
.I expected more from Sara..she wasn't given time to give us her story,it would have been interesting to hear how she navigated colorism to where she is now..
Love the 🧡🧡 on the set today. Sema luku ni moto👌🏾😍. What a thought provoking convo🔥🔥. Melanin beauties in all shades.
It's Related I promise🤎🖤.
I am dark-skinned and I have been in two interview situations where I later realised they really wanted to give the lighter-skinned women the job but ultimately, the final decision wasn’t theirs. It's ironic considering the jobs had nothing to do with appearance just that the male interviewers probably wanted someone "pretty" to look at.
I also agree with what Jules and Sarah said about empowering your daughters. Growing up, my nickname was 'Karembo,' so I grew up knowing I was pretty. So when I encountered the light-skin bias in the real world, the confidence instilled in me from childhood ensured that it never fazed me. Tell your dark-skinned daughters they're beautiful. Still loving the pod, guys! 💜💜💜
Jules you nailed it 100% . Its a High Time Africans we WAKE UP and Stick to our Thing and drop all those foreign Policies which dont Serve and benefit us but rather benefit the Masters.
Yes Jules. There are some Kikuyu's who have white blood. You should read a book by Ngugi wa Thiong'o called Dreams in a Time of War: A Childhood Memoir.
He talks about how Italians who were prisoners of World War 2 were brought to Kenya in Limuru. They were nicknamed them Bono from "bonjourno". Eventually those Italians had kids with some women in the area.
42:26 that's exactly what I think! Like if you're dark skinned and your 'type' is light skinned.... It says a lot about yourself and how you regard yourself!
Uuuuh! Chan is so poised and she speaks with so much grace. Very Demure, very cutesy🥰
This topic is so funny but educative 😂😂😂😂😂 kwanza the error error error part 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 It's really interesting how all races have different shades, it's beautiful to see so many shades of skin color. Maybe one day we'll get to a point as humanity where we see the beauty in uniqueness ❤❤❤
I have liked even before listening in. This conversation ought to be had.
My sister was the one who made me realise that I was dark skinned. You see, my mom was that Muranga brown and my dad was dark skinned. From my sister's tone, I figured it was not good that my skin tone was leaning towards my dad's skin tone. It's taken well into my campus days to build my self esteem coz I was also a scrawny babe. Double homicide. Now... I attract who I attract and I'm good now.
This conversation is so layered because there is also the aspect of where you sit at the intersection of being completely dark and completely light. I say this because I have been called out severally for saying am dark but am also not light according to the African standards or any standards anywhere. Crazy stuff.
This conversation is so dear to me as a dark skin woman in kenya. I am quit comfortable in my skin but recently I was out with my little niece [she's light skin) and some old uncle bought her an apple, turned towards me and told me how I wouldn't get offered anything in life because I don't look like her "ungekuwa unakaa kama yeye hata wewe ngekuitishia yako😢😂😂" That has stuck with me .Everyday is a journey and I love my skin its beautiful it makes me ME!.The darker the Berry the sweeter the juice 😉❤
Yeees!!
What a terrible thing to say to another human being. I hope he one day saw the error of his words but even if that doesn't happen, you are beautiful and they cannot take that power! 👏🏾
That was a horrible thing your uncle said. Honestly adults should think before they speak!😮
Love the interior deco..
Great conversation! Kudos to the team. It would have been even more impactful to also have a conventional lighter skinned person on the panel to share their experiences. Light skin definitely gives you privilege. However, it still is a double edged sword. I have noticed a lighter skinned people tend to be objectified, work harder to prove themselves to fight the narrative that they were only hired because of their looks etc. This is a heavily nuanced conversation.
Great insight. Thank you
So maasai are predominantly black. That is the environment i grew up in. There are lighter ones but there never really was a point to make that distinction. Hio ndio ilikua ushago. Kuenda shule ya town nikiwa class seven is when i learnt the term black beauty. I was confused because i didn't grow up with it. Siku moja nikipeana story nikasema "na ni light skin beauty " and my friends were confused then said only the word black beauty existed -that is when i realised being black was not synonymous to being beautifull unless the society decided you were but they must remind you that you are in fact pretty but black.
Black is beautiful
Thanks for sharing
#colourism just watched the whole episode and thank you for always reminding everyone on how colourism is still an issue.
#IRIP on sticking to the issues that matter.
Thanks for hosting Sarah 😀 love her show
A name of a villain...... Ruto had me on the gloor😂😂😂😂
4:52 I feel like this podcast was released at the right time... The Kenyan celeb marriage ceremony that took place a week ago really got people talking... Iykyk
Yeeeeeeiiiii been waiting for this episode .💃💃💃
I loved the conversation. Maybe the reason why some of us feel like Jules ' overpowered ' the conversation is because the conversation wasn't structured.... It feels like it was a girls' hangout of sorts to vent and talk about their different experiences ❤.
I wish the guest had an opportunity to speak more. I barely got anything from her. Julia it’s great that you are passionate, next time let’s allow others to speak too❤️
Great episode!! 👏🏾👏🏾
I love her voice aaagghr😩❤
Jules took over the interview, as much as her opinions were valid, she didn't allow the guest talk much
The tribes that live where settlers lived have a lightness to their skin and softness to their hair that isn't very "African". I always chalked it up to climate but now that you mentioned that story Jules, I'm curious. I wanna dig deeper.
This conversation I so love.I always get triggered when I observe colorism playing out and wow does having conversations about it make people uncomfortable. Anyway, I come from a tribe in Northern Uganda that is known for having darker skinned and “aggressive” people. The latter mostly because of historical aspects of having more men (80%)conscripted into the army during the colonial period because of their physical attributes.
Because of a prolonged civil war, a number of us joined boarding school in the capital Kampala and the derogatory comments where insane.I am dark skinned but an ‘acceptable’ range of chocolate that most found conventional. The privilege this came with was being told I am ‘better’ than people from my ethnic group and getting called dark beauty occasionally(now i despise this reference immensely because no one says brown beauty or white beauty). It took me a while to learn how harmful these backhanded compliments where. Unfortunately as a result of colorism so many childhood friends I know have done the most to distance themselves from our culture and embody mannerisms of Bantu to fit in
Invite swirry nyar kano next, that'll be a blassttttttt 🗣️❤️
Lakini Sarah anatucheza kidogo 😂😂😂😂😂 a very fashionable babe that one! Always among the best dressed in any room runway tu ndio umekataa.
I was at Dubai airport a couple of years ago and wandered into a skincare store to kill time on my layover. The security guy came up to me and was "offering me help" by directing me to the lightening creams 🙃
😢 oh no
I love love lurrrrrv this pod 😊
Really important topic to explore, thanks so much for sharing your experiences. feedback would be that the girl in the orange trousers talks for way too long, unfortunatley i had to skip many times to get to the part where other people were talking too.
I wish she talked more, hosts interrupted
Jules is so pretty😍
We however have to talk about HUMILIENTERTAINMENT. We cannot just sit here and accept that people can make jokes out of our looks, in the name of its funny. At people's emotional expense. NO!
Speaking as a disabled woman as well with a disability from birth, children should not be allowed to bully other children, call them names because of their physical, behavioral or other differences in the name of, "They are just kids." Having been bullied all my school life because of my physical difference, I know those kids knew what they were doing and they are the same mean horrible adults we have on the internet that believe in eugenics. We have to do better.
This interview was for Jules honestly the guest didn't talk much😢
Watching from Malawi 🇦🇫
This was a good convo but lol the host spoke more than the guest
I believe in positive globalization. Share culture, take what's good and reject the rest. I've noticed that Africans sometimes overcorrect when we're endeavouring to love our culture. Not everything our ancestors did was great and not everything foreign is evil. Christianity, for example, saved me and my sisters from FGM.
Y'all are looking so gorge😍
In kenya as a light skin girl your chances of you getting in TV are very HIGH . Media TV Personalities.
So true
Today I asked myself whose the other 1/3 nikama simjui😂😂😂Anyways good job guys😊
Its Noni Muchiri. She is the other member of IRIP
Guys, I was dating a Luo guy. He's dark skinned and so is his daughter. I patad he'd bought her some carrot oil ATI she's too dark for the world to embrace.😢😢 He was using the oil on himself as well. I tried so much to convince him that black is beautiful and powerful but nope. 😢
Jules is so funny 😂😂😂😂😂😂
After this let’s get into “Height-ism”. Please please please. We also don’t control what height we are born into but somehow it is okay to make fun of short people (esp men) …?!
Actually SOME mixed race people feel rejected by Caucasian people and also feel like African people don't accept them. It's hard for everyone.
Stop creating them then ..read kalergi plan a good book
I feel like Juled really was the one being interviewed. Sarah Chan didn’t even speak much. What’s the point of bringing guest when you are the one to be speaking 90% of the time .
Where's the third host? I've never seen her
She is not in front of the camera anymore, she was before though. Check earlier episodes, but she is still part of the podcast 'Noni Muchiri'
@@Seanthia..c I've never seen her
She is still part of the Podcast but she works for BBC UK now
Jules doesn't seem to do well with guests, as she is always taking lead of the episode, and expounding on her personal perspective more than the guest. This means she is taking up too much time by not getting straight to her point.
Then what is the point of having a guest if you do a larger shatr of the talking?
Love this. But I think jules is so full of herself, coz she's not letting the guest talk , picking up the sentence as the lady is talking
Early ❤️❤️❤️😀
Y'all should consider having a topic for height in men 😏😏😏😏 that would be interesting 😏😅
Omg i thought about that too! We also don’t control what height we are born into but somehow it is okay to make fun of short people (esp men) …?!
Damn, I played against Sarah in high school she kicked my toots several times. they used to have this perfect chemistry with her sister yoh it's good seeing her
Jules I truly dont get why you say you are dark skin. Unless the studio lights lie to my eyes you are in the middle of black skin spectrum....I'm not really minimizing your experiences but, eh! That said have....please have a conversation with lighter skin women and youll quickly learn one thing, it is a mirage of privilege. Just being lighter skinned means zilch if you dont put in work.
Jules is darkskinned.. It comes in different shades not necessarily sarahs color only.
Jules was mad annoying this episode 😭 i like her but self absorbed a little?
Same for me. How about respecting other people preferences cause you can't state/command a fixed standard of attraction for everybody? Also, women commonly say that they prefer tall dark men. Would this also be reverse colourism? Or its only an issue because dark skinned girls have a problem with what some men prefer? Also, light skinned girls challenges are a lot as well. This discussion was too one sided, victim mentality, entitled, external sided and not comprehensive. It would have been best if the conversation was redirected to women basically having self love and self worth to choose where they are celebrated and wanted.
I think there is a lot of fetishizing alongside Colourism.
Who is the other third person for IRIP?
She's called Noni Muchiri 😊
@@graciewangui-l9r Thank you. I was wondering since I have never seen her in an episode.
Noni! She works for the BBC in the UK!
@@sharonkwamboka8101she's in earlier episodes tho the podcast didn't have a YT channel then
@@graciewangui-l9r An OG this one
53:56 I honestly thought you were a model
And talk to our leaders about creating jobs DOMESTICALLY and not making deals on sending thousands of us abroad🤝🌍
How about respecting other people preferences cause we can't state/command/police a fixed standard of attraction for everybody. Also, women commonly say that they prefer tall dark men. Would this also be reverse colourism? Or its only an issue because dark skinned girls have a problem with what some men prefer? Also, light skinned girls challenges are a lot as well. This discussion was too one sided, victim mentality, entitled, external sided and not comprehensive. It would have been best if the conversation was redirected to women basically having self love and self worth to choose where they are celebrated and wanted.
Hmmmm...this was a jules convo .
FYI Christianity didn’t come from the westerners, it went to them from us. Please refer to the Bible on Acts chapter 8: Philip and the Ethiopian Eunuch story.
But who introduced it to your great great great grandparents? Assuming you're African maybe Kenyan and a christian
Damn!!! Why does Jules look so yellow on this episode? 🤣😂🤣
The episodes are edited to add colour and vibrance
Watching this having been cheated with two mzungus babes,,aah men😑
Great topic with weak talking points. Work on your points and questions before the actual conversation. Aaaaand, give the guest time.
Add on to their points. It is a conversation they have welcomed their audience to.