What "Submission" Means to Us | A Different Perspective on Ephesians 5 | Christian Marriage Advice
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ก.ย. 2024
- Hey girls! In today's video we are talking about Ephesians 5, which talks about wives submitting to husbands and husbands loving their wives. I've actually seen this passage misused/abused many times -- including in my own life with an ex-boyfriend! I'll tell you that story, and then we'll share our perspective on this passage, and how it looks in our marriage. As always, this is our own perspective, and we would love to hear YOUR thoughts as well, in the comments below! What does this look like in your marriage, or what you do you think it'll look like one day? Hope this can encourage you girls! With love, Tiffany Dawn (& James😍) (After this week of tough topics -- masturbation and now this -- I'm officially ready for a vacation!!😅😂)
BOOKS, MUSIC, & MORE...OH MY!! 😍
Check out my Bible reading plan and the books I've written - "The Insatiable Quest for Beauty" & "Boycrazy" - at my Square Store!
squareup.com/s...
LET'S KEEP IN TOUCH ALL WEEK! 💕
Instagram: @tiffanydawniqb
Facebook: tiffanydawniqb
Email: tiffanydawn@tiffanydawn.net
Website & Books: www.tiffanydawn.net
NEW VIDEOS EACH TUESDAY & FRIDAY!! 😍
![[FULL EP.73] เปิดบ้าน 70 ล้าน "แป้ง Zbing" ยกมาทั้งญี่ปุ่น l เคหสถานบานปลาย l One Playground](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YBnJhTt07Pg/mqdefault.jpg)
I love how you brought up the boyfriend trying to be the head of the household when he shouldn’t. One thing I have heard that I really like is to not give your boyfriend “husband privileges” (physically and mentally).
That is awesome advice!!
What if she doesn't have a dad?
I mean, not everyone has a dad. What if the dad is in jail? What if the dad left the family? What if the dad died? I read that over 70% of American children don't have a dad that lives with them and that a child is more likely to have a pet that lives with them than a dad.
Edit: I've looked at different articles. Some say 72%, 73%, 84%, 25%, 35% of children live without their dad, depending on location and race.
@@samlynx2016 At the end of the day, if our physical dads aren't here for us, our true Father is. He will always be the true Head. The father or husband is the representation of that Head.
@@anneshirley9560 God does NOT have a gender, he's a spirit so I don't understand your point because there are people who have father and do not have a mother so who takes up that place for them? God is both father and mother to his children. He guides like a father and nurtures & comforts us like a mother. The concept of husband being the "head" and the wife being the tale does not fit right with me because its a more a cultural thing of those times and we all know what all it gave to women throughout history. Both mother and father are equally important or would you say one was more valuable than the other? Both are family makers. One specific gender does not represent God cause he takes the place of BOTH.
"The woman was made out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved." - Matthew Henry
Thats so beautiful
This is unbiblical and the woman was never created to be equal with man, as it says in scripture the man(not the woman) was created in the image of God, what is the man’s image of God he represents? Ruling over everything including his own wife or wives, and none on earth was created to be equal with the image of God, not even the beast of the field.
@@maskedman.428 Actually, it says both male and female are made in the image of God.: "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them."
As for the "ruling over the wife" part, that is found nowhere in the Bible as a command from God. You literally made that up.
You implied that Adam was to rule over the beast of the field but Eve was not. This is also factually inaccurate. Genesis 1:28 literally includes Eve in the command to subdue and rule:
"God blessed them; and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.'”
Maybe you should read the Bible more carefully. Your blantant textual inaccuracies are embarrassing considering you imply you have the biblical position.
e546a 850 If you truly trust solely in the Roman-Greek European monogamous translations then suit yourself to your own destruction. If you really believe with all your heart that the true translation included the woman to rule over everything with the man(Adam) then you’re in with a big surprise, because God in fact never included the woman to be ruler with the man.
Check and see what the original said before these European nations translated and twisted and deceived the minds of people to believe their Roman marriage equality, God in fact never established man and woman equality, that’s a teaching from the Roman Empire that was adopted into Christianity and deceptively translated into scripture.
@@maskedman.428 First of all, I can see you know nothing about Greco-Roman culture. Your claim that the Roman Empire believed women were equal is factually false. If you said that to any historian they would laugh and ask you where in the world you got that claim.
The opposite is actually true. The Roman world was dominated by men; women were seen as property of their husbands. They were expected to obey their husbands and, although not common, Roman law actually permitted a man to put his wife to death if she didn't obey him. Their sole purpose was to be a housewife and bear children. They had very few rights compared to men, as they could not vote, own land, inherit property, and more. Roman households would commonly abandon female infants to die in the harsh outdoor environment because baby girls were thought to be of little worth since they couldn't carry on the family name or inherit property. In Jewish court of Law, a women's testimony was literally worth half that of a man's (even though the Bible nowhere says that has to be so). This male-dominated culture is seen even in the New Testament in many places. For example, it was unusual for Mary, the sister of Martha, to be sitting at Jesus's feet acting as His disciple instead of being the typical women making preparations and doing housework. In that day, only men were allowed to de a disciple and sit at the rabbi's feet. Martha was bothered by the fact that Mary was ignoring her duty as a woman in that day.
Secondly, your claim that the Roman Empire translated these translations I showed you is absurd. These are translations published within the past century and are translated from the earliest Greek manuscripts known today. The Roman Empire split in 285 A.D. into the Western Roman Empire and the Byzantine Empire. The Western Roman Empire fell in 476 A.D. and the Byzantine in 1453 A.D. The translations are not done by the Roman Empire.
Thirdly, its very suspicious that you all of a sudden pull the, "translations are corrupt and unreliable" card without explaining in detail what I got wrong. Claiming that isn't enough. You have to show me exactly what's wrong about the English translation of the verses I showed you (btw I used two different translations) and where in the Hebrew text it supports your interpretation, as I have checked the Hebrew text and it says the same thing as the translations I provided.
I always find it funny how people misunderstand this scripture. Wives; learn what it is to submit to YOUR HUSBAND. Husband; learn what it is to love YOUR WIFE. We fail to understand the scripture because we tend to generalize it and make it universal, it's not. It's personal between two people sharing a marriage relationship. Never the same for any two couples completely; because what one man/woman view as love and respect will differ from couple to couple and person to person.
It's really both partners being humble in marriage. I'm so very happy you guys posted this video.
Marriage is not a partnership... real your Bible
That ex-bf wasn't a scriptorian, he was a person with a serious personality problem.
I like that this vid is about both partners being selfless in their marriage. Beautiful message. And it's the truth.
Tiffany. Yes. Yes. YES! My heart is so happy you've made this video, my mom has been fighting this misused/abusive view of submission on her successful Christian marriage blog for years and it can be so discouraging when so many people don't get it. But I so appreciate you making this video! Thank you!
Katie Gregoire
Hi Katie,
Just wanted to say I love your videos and I am subscribed to you. I might check out this blog youre talking about. What's the name of it?
Awww, Katie thanks so much for your encouragement--it means so much! ❤️ That is so awesome your mom is talking about this on her blog as well! It is such an important topic.😍
Katie Emmerson wow ya know each other how kool I watch the both of you !!!
Cool! Would you like to share the link to your mom's blog? :-)
You are being deceived and lead astray by this woman:
The true, authentic, sincere and conscientious "Daughters of Sarah" willingly submit to the following Divinely
given Scriptures.
"18 Wives, be subject to your husbands [subordinate and adapt yourselves to them], as is right and fitting and **your proper duty** in the Lord.
"
Col 3:18 (AMP.BIBLE)
And again:
"22 Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands **as [a service] to the Lord.**
23 For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body.
24 As the church is subject to Christ, so **let wives also be subject in everything** to their husbands."
Eph 5:22-24 (AMP. BIBLE)
And again from St. Peter:
"5 For it was thus that the pious women of old who hoped in God were [accustomed] to beautify themselves and were submissive to their husbands [adapting themselves to them as themselves secondary and dependent upon them].
6 It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by] calling him lord (master, leader, authority).
And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you].
"
1 Peter 3:5-6 (AMP.BIBLE)
Very sadly but predictably, the wicked rebellious daughters of the "Devil and his angels" will adamantly refuse to comply.
For as Christ has wisely stated: "By their fruits shall ye know them".
4:06 - I'm on the top, you're on the bottom, I win, you lose - that's how MOST women I know want their marriages to be, that they're on the top so they can control their husbands. Very not Christlike. But switch it around where the husband controls his wife, that's not Christlike either.
I came to see submission like at 5:25: what I do affects my wife, what she does affects me. So we *submit* our thoughts to each other and come to agreement. And at 7:30: I don't need to always have my way. My wife's preferences are important to me too. We talk together as we follow Jesus Christ.
Not to sound judgemental but I feel a clarification is needed in that it's not the Ephesians passage that should make a believer angry but rather the perversion of it that ought to make us upset. Interesting video!
I love this so much. Especially from you, Tiffany, a woman who I never experience as rude, loud, or blatantly assertive. Neither one of you is the boss, but a mutual partnership in covenant.
Along the lines of the traditional interpretation of submission, I have heard it said that the call to men in Ephesians is to love their wives as Christ loved the Church--before the Church ever deserved or loved Christ, He laid His life down for her. But instead of a glorious, awe-inspiring, one-time sacrifice for her, it is a daily dying to one's self, a daily denial of what _I_ need and what _I_ want, but what _she_ wants and needs. It isn't that the man is automatically the leader, but to be a leader worthy of following.
You are all twisted around because you find people who are sinners and share your same sins to be the only people who are worthy of listening to... that path leads to hell. The wife is not to submit to her husband if she fells he is worthy of her submission. No. That is a lie of Satan. A wife is to submit to her husband even if she feels he is unworthy of her submission. A wife is to submit to her husband because God commands her to do so. Contrary to your understandings, the husband is automatically the head - leader - because God has commanded that he is. If you continue to harden your heart against God's Word you will always find other people doing the same... but you must not take the fact that most people go to hell (therefore there will always be more people teaching counter to God's Word than teaching faithfully to God's Word) give you confidence that you are therefore on the narrow way. Jesus is the Way and the Truth and the Life, so you must not think that He is pleased with You even as you are walking in willful sin by rejecting His commandments. Jesus is willing to forgive you all your sins, but He will not do so in a manner that is counter to His Word. Jesus will not forgive sin that is not first forsaken. Fear God, repent and live!
This is BEAUTIFUL. Your relationship is so clearly selfless and kind, and I completely agree with you guys about your take on Ephesians 5. I absolutely believe the Lord was telling men and women the exact same thing while using different words - telling us that we are literally a part of the same body, which only underscores the love and honor and respect that is due to both people. Thank you for sharing!!
@Hannah Beasley
Exactly Hannah. In Ephesians 5, He was telling men and women to DIE FOR EACH OTHER albeit in different words! I am so happy because of this video. I was beginning to distrust the Bible and thought it was anti-women.
This taking of this Scripture balances out the equation and makes me feel safe about it all.
Totally agree! My husband and I feel the same way. I lost two friends recently for sharing this side of it (with biblical evidence). I know someone who was abused and I hate thinking that someone actually told her to stay because she should submit to her partner. Thank you for making this!
Yes!!! I agree 100%. A husband and wife are a team.
Yearh but the husband is the csptain
He is so blessed that he found a Christian women, especially nowadays.
@@simonpedersen9703 exactly!!!!! ❤️❤️
@@simonpedersen9703 no that's what the video is telling 🤧
lol there is no team, the husband and the wife are not equals...there is a head, one head, two heads is a monster.
This somehow reminded me of this quote:
'Give and take' is a working relationship.
'Give and receive' is a marriage.
~ Rabbi Manis Friedman
I love Rabbi Friedman!
A thousand yeses!!!! I wish I could like this a million more times. One of the impressions I’ve been getting from scripture is that Christ is always the FIRST to do: first to love, first to die, first to intercede. In my marriage one of the things that we noticed often was that when my husband was first to love or sacrifice or communicate I opened to him like a flower and ALWAYS followed suit, but when I was first it didn’t always lead to tenderness on his end. By no means am I saying dig your heels in until you get what you want, but rather that the Lord designed the men to be the ones that do first as Christ because it flourishes the desire in us to follow suit. Maybe even why the men are listed first in the verse. Literary-wise that would also make sense.
I've never had this properly explained and it makes so much sense. I've always struggled with this idea as someone who would never want to be controlled by anyone, let alone a husband. But it's good to know that this isn't what the Bible is saying. I knew God's message in my heart but couldn't work out how this was supported by Scripture. Thanks guys - I aspire to have a marriage like yours one day :)
I'm so glad this could encourage you! ❤️❤️
And we also have to change the way the word submit is used its doesnt mean that one person is over the other it means that you do things out of love for another even if it's not particularly what you wanna do
Yes it does, huppotasso is the term used, which is a military term: to rank under.
I clicked on this so fast lol. Andrew and I are pretty much the same - we are TOTALLY for biblical headship and submission, and I truly believe that my role as Andrew's wife is to be his helper in this life, to help Him to fulfill the things in His life that God desires for him to do, and likewise Andrew does the same for me, he seeks my spiritual well being and maturity. We always make decisions together, if we don't agree we just talk and talk about it some more, and basically every time we come to an agreement together, because we both truly care about what the other person wants/needs. I think it's unfortunate that headship and submission is distorted and abused these days. Because looking at the beautiful picture of Christ and His church, it's so amazing what God intends for marriage to be...while Christ is our head- He seeks what is best for us, He loves us and gave Himself for us, and I think that's where it's often distorted, because it's not about being 'Boss' but about serving. Yet at the same time the husband is responsible for the well being of his family. When Adam and Eve ate of the fruit in the garden, the first person God asked for was Adam, not Eve. And the bible teaches that sin entered the world through one man - Adam. Even though it was Eve who took of the fruit first. So it's really interesting that even from the beginning God held Adam equally as responsible for the sin of Eve - He wasn't leading his family well spiritually - guiding her and protecting her. xx
The Joyful Homemaker well guys. Yet again, I'm a Christian as well and all 3 of us know that we can't just force someone to be a Christian as well. What if some people don't want to be one?
Emily C I'm not entirely sure what you're asking, and how it relates to what I commented? We cannot force people to be Christians...it's a work of the Holy Spirit, all we can do is tell them the truth.
That you so much for sharing this! I loved hearing your thoughts and what this looks like in your marriage! 😍
Hey Emily! Oh I'm so glad you asked to clarify! This is talking about how marriage relationships can reflect God's love, not about forcing people to be Christians. I hope that helps clarify! :)
This is excellent! I was reading that passage in the Bible lately, and I was really not at peace because I couldn't understand it. I was praying for God to help me know the truth, and then I remembered I saw this video on your channel one day but never watched it. So I went back and watched it and I think this is really the truth and what God wanted me to hear. It's not about who's boss. No one is boss. It's not a power struggle, it's about loving one another and honoring each other. It's so sad that people are deceived and misunderstand this so much.
Yessss this is so important to me. The idea of submitting to a man and letting him be the authoritative figure was always such a foreign concept to me. I'm from a family of very strong women, was raised by a single mother, and grew up in a house with mostly sisters. It was kind of inevitable that I'd develop a pretty strong personality too and when hearing this being preached by so many, I couldn't understand the double standard. Why must a man be the leader of a family/marriage just because he's a man?
It could have something to do with the story of Adam and Eve. She was the one manipulated by the serpent and who convinced him to eat the forbidden fruit. Maybe its for that reason, because of Adam and Eve's original sin, that we now have these gender roles? I like how you put it in this video, where it doesn't need to be taken so literally that the husband must be in control of the wife. That kind of relationship is terrifying.
It's only terrifying bc it's foreign to you. But the polarity of the 2 roles are perfect bc God's ways are perfect my husband is my authority and rules our home. It has created such a balance, love, and respect for eachother. I get to focus all my time on my home and children while he provides and leads us. We are extremely happy and well taken care of. Like I said God's ways are perfect.
@@Osiris189 I never said anything about him controlling my thoughts or feelings. That's kinda impossible lol.
I completely agree that Ephesians 5 is used by abusers to justify unhealthy and hierarchical relationships. Gross! I love and prefer your interpretation of the passage. HOWEVER, what does the word "submit" mean to you? It says that wives should "submit" to their husbands, and that husbands should "love" their wives. It does not say that husbands and wives should submit to each other. It sounds like you guys have a wonderful partnership, but I think that you should be honest and admit that you're just brushing off that passage because you disagree with it
@Haley
The couple in this video are right. They are not brushing off the passage and do not disagree with it. The passage read as a whole is asking the man TO DIE for his wife like Christ DIED for the church. That is the bit you people miss.
The man being asked TO DIE for his wife like Christ DIED for the church means that he is literally being asked to SUBMIT to her! A "DEAD" husband means he DIED TO SELF. In other words as this couple got it right, he must be SELFLESS and put aside his desires for his wife.
It still submission put in a different language.
Right on!! 👍🏼 I was raised in a Baptist church with this traditional mentality about this passage. I hate that now. With what I’ve grown up with and grown into realizing it does not settle with me at all. I think Tiffany and I could have those after-wedding rants perfectly together. Thank you so much! You have so much wisdom. I have only just joined your channel, but I have learned so much and loved you and this ministry so much already! I hope I have a marriage like you two have someday. God bless you! Thank you!!!! ❤️
So if submission is none of those things, then what is it? You said it’s being considerate etc but you also said that those things should be mutual. But the Bible specifically said that women should submit to men, not both directions.
So proud of you for making this! Such a hard topic but I loved your perspective :) Love you!
Thank you so much for your advice as I was having a mini-freak-out the night before 😂 I've been implementing your advice to only have certain days to read/respond to comments. It helps a lot to have those healthy boundaries in place!!
@@TiffanyDawn
I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! Finally somebody who gets it! Honestly, I have been desperately looking for answers for this problematic situation in the Bible and I can honestly say you have given it to me.
I believe your understanding is correct because you view the "headship" from Christ's way of heading the Church. Is He bossing the Church around or does He actually say: "Come let us REASON TOGETHER...."
I have always viewed God as the ultimate Gentleman. One who seeks to help you get become the BEST VERSION of yourself and not to annihilate you. If He wanted to annihilate you to make you righteous, then there would be no reason to expect you to be accountable for your behaviour.
Instead He wants us to be responsible for our actions and become LIKE HIM. This comes about through Him showing us His UNDYING LOVE.
I believe you have the correct understanding for this reason. You call it SELFLESS and that is what it means about the man being like Christ who DIED for the church. So the man is being called the "DIE" to self and be completely emptying of himself for the sake of his wife.
The wife is being called to submit in everything, clearly the equivalent of the man "DYING" and emptying of himself. So in effect, both are called to DIE for each other's sake to allow for total growth of each other. To make it possible for each other to FLOURISH in Christ.
You are 2 geniuses and have helped me a lot. Will be able to sleep tonight, I was not really sure if I wanted to be a christian anymore because of this verse.
You seem to be very intelligent people. Wish I could speak you you personally to get help with other very difficult Scriptures like women not being allowed to RULE as in being a prime minister, and women not being allowed to teach men.
Love you lot. May Heaven bless your loving marriage. God richly bless.
Hey! I love the work both you and Tiffany due despite me being male! Thank you for your videos!
It sounds like he's doing the head of household properly.(leader/Man)...and she knows how to love him godly,properly and righteously...what more can a couple ask for...perfect.
EXACTLY! He's the head AS CHRIST IS THE HEAD OF THE CHURCH, and what does Christ do? Boss us around about meaningless things sich as shampoos and clothes?? NOPE. He DIED for us, thats how much he loved us. He washed the disciples feet, that was his form of leadership. Whoever shall be first shall be last. Aka the leader puts everyone ELSE first and THEMSELVES last. And thats what the husband is told to do in that passage. (*edit* sorry I'm so heated lol this topic just gets me fired up!!)
Err! I think you overlooked a most important detail, Liz Moore.
"22 Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord.
23 For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body.
24 As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also **be subject in **everything** to their husbands."
Ephesians 5:22-24 (AMPLIFIED BIBLE)
**The actual word meaning ; [A primary word; ALL, ANY, EVERY, the WHOLE :- ALL (manner of, means), -Strong's Talking Greek & Hebrew Dictionary
@@earnestlycontendingforthef5332 I've read those verses many times. What are you trying to say in particular about them that would go against my original comment?
To @@lizmoore3403
Nothing at all, if you agree wholeheartedly word for word with the Scripture quoted, especially verse
"24 As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also *be subject in **everything* to their husbands."
Ephesians 5:22-24 (AMPLIFIED BIBLE)
**The actual word meaning ; [A primary word; ALL, ANY, EVERY, the WHOLE :- ALL (manner of, means), -Strong's Talking Greek & Hebrew Dictionary
Along of course with St. Peter's instructions for the truly authentic "Daughters of Sarah".
"You married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives,
2 When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband;
you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him-to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].
3 Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning with [elaborate] interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes;
4 But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God.
5 For it was thus that the pious women of old who hoped in God were [accustomed] to beautify themselves and were submissive to their husbands [adapting themselves to them as themselves secondary and dependent upon them].
6 It was thus that **Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and **acknowledging his headship over her by] **calling him lord (master, leader, authority).
And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you].
1 Peter 3:1-6 (AMPLIFIED BIBLE)
@@earnestlycontendingforthef5332 I don't understand what you are trying to say
@@lizmoore3403
OK. What does the Scripture quoted, point out to you in my last posting?
This week has been a great breakthrough for me, as I entered into new chapter of my life. I think it's awesome to have husband-wife relationship being in a collaborative method, rather being husband being boss as of 'head' of the family. I'm still single, but I had seen marriages that are of boss types. I think it's just perspectives of people that their husband have to bossy in a way, that their marriage life could be successful. My perspective is couples should be submissive to each other, and show selfless love to one another. It is god that blesses your family and making it fruitful.
Tiffany, you're like my elder sister in my Christian life. Watched your video that you lost your tiny baby in the belly. Hope you'll be soon mother one day and may god bless your ministries and family life.
I'm so excited for you as you've had a breakthrough week! Yay God!! And thank you so much for your encouragement and kindness. Much love to you!
Tiffany, nice video and while I agree that marriage is ultimately about loving your spouse selflessly, I don't think we can get around the whole submission thing. You alluded to this towards the end of your video and I think it's a very crucial point: there's a reason why the most selfless thing a wife can do for her husband is to submit to him and there's also a reason why the most selfless thing a husband can do for his wife is love her. Each partner gets what they need and the marriage dynamic is perfectly balanced. Submission only becomes a dirty concept when abused by a husband who doesn't have Christ's servant heart. In short, there's no need to try to explain away submission! It's actually a really beautiful thing. Lots of love to you and your family. x
Good video Tiffany. I am a pastor’s wife and have had to wrestle through these issues so that I can set a good example and teach what honors and glorifies God in these matters. Submission is a difficult topic. I think most women know that it’s been given a meaning that God didn’t intend but we don’t exactly know what He did mean so we struggle to be obedient. I love your perspective because the Bible says that love covers a multitude of sins. Clearly this is an example of, do the loving thing, and you cannot go wrong. I agree, agree, agree. Thanks for sharing. BTW, I have shared your channel to my two teenage step daughters. I sure hope they will watch and be edified by your videos. I am too old for your topics in general, 40 yrs old but I love to watch your videos and be blessed by them. I am trying to start a channel of my own. It’s A Merry Life to do Bible Studies and encouragement for Christian women. I stumbled on your channel while I was researching what TH-camrs are offering and I have loved every video I have watched. I love that your real, I love your sincerity, and so far I have loved the way that you have handled God’s word. God bless you as you serve Him in this way.
Awwww, thank you so so much for taking the time to share this encouragement with me, I almost cried! ❤️ Praying He blesses you so much as you're starting your channel as well!!
Please continue making great content like this! So refreshing to see a modern take on Christianity. Thank you for talking about taboo topics in a vulnerable and honest way.
There is no such thing as a "modern take" on Christianity. The Bible is the same yesterday, today and forever. Anyone promoting a new, modern take on something in the Bible, is just denying what God says and living for themselves, and not Him.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for addressing this topic! I have spent years and years dreaming of marriage but making a 180 at this verse. I want to live God's way, but nobody had the courage to unpack this verse without making it into the "he wins, you lose, and that's God's will" trap you talked about. I read a book by a Christian woman who advised practicing short answers like "Sure!" to whatever he said. He asked if she wanted to move to Japan, so without considering it or discussing it, she said, "Sure!" I stopped reading. But while some pastors have shed a little light on the subject, you have jumped right in, and it's just what I needed. Please let us know if you do find anything interesting in the translation for the word "submit."
Great video! It's really hard make such a subject like this fit in a 10-minute video.
I agree with the bottomline: it's about selflessness. However, I do think that in the end there has to be a 'boss' (we call it 'ultimately responsible one'). God does hold the man accountable for their homes/families. With that accountability, I think there are also responsabilities (and therefore certain 'autorizations or power') that women don't have. But he only get to use those autorizations/power in a selfless way that serves God and his family, and not himself.
For us, we always let eachother know how we think. And most of time we agree in the end, so there's no need to let my husband use 'his powers' (that sounds very superhero-like, lol). In case we don't agree, he decides. BUT, that doens't mean we go with HIS best option. It actually occurs a lot that he decides to go with my take on the matter, thinking that will be most helpfull in the long run. He uses his power to make decisions, but he doesn't abuse it to serve himself.
Loved hearing how this looks in your marriage! And what a gift to have a husband who wants to serve and love his family rather than just himself! That's such a beautiful example of Christ's love for us 😍
Loved this. Totally made everything clear. Wives submitting to husband's will is so beautiful, because if the husband's will involves the bible's definition of love for the wife, then it is a perfect marriage and love the wife is submitting to and its truly reflective of God's love for us. Its why its so important on having the Spirit leads us in spiritual discernment and wisdom as to whether the other person loves us with the bibles definition of love, and not the world's (for non arranged marriages) or mannnn....... It's going to be marriage full of fear, hatred and resentment which is not what love is.
James, you should have checked her out before marrying her. Now you have a wife who is rebellious, and that means you are a whimp. It's your fault not hers, because you did not have to marry into that situation. She doesn't seem like she would have lied about it. Tiffany, You get feisty on this topic? You vent during weddings? You get angry at Ephesians 5? - because of a prior boyfriend? Submission doesn't mean being a doormat, and it's not about the little things. Obviously you didn't stick with that boyfriend - no reason to be punishing James as a result. It really shouldn't be that complicated. Submission is about the big things - what church or ministry to be involved with, the economic structure of your household, what city to live in, your husband's goals and mission, how to raise the children. If submission is a problem for you, you turn your husband into a whimp, and I doubt that's what you want.
So you want her to be a housewife no opinions no say in ANYTHING because she is a woman off course her husband is better than her and just because her husband lets her have a say and make decisions means he is a wimp. hmm.
I’m so sorry that you had that experience with that one guy in college, Tiffany. 😢
I have commented this question under many christian youtubers and here it is on your channel from before it was even a thought on my mind! I love this and believe its the correct view 100%! Thank you for clarifying this a bit for me. ❤️ Keep it up guys because You are Great, Praise the LORD!
Submit in Greek - listen to. Love this video!
Sounds like she is submitting to his will, which is her will, which is his will... hmm. That's kinda awesome.
It may sound awesome to some.... but it does not sound biblical to any who are abiding in God's Spirit.... unless she is submitting to his will which is God's will and which is her will... but if that is the case, then she will be submitted to her husband - her head - as unto the Lord.
@@feargodandlive8352 Yeah interesting
Yes I agree! I'm getting married soon and have always been uncomfortable with the "master" view of submission. I love this view so much! Thank you Tiffany!!!!!
Such a nice video! I used to be so iffy and confused (and low key enraged) by the whole submission thing. However, Holy Spirit has been showing me that so many things in the Bible and principles that I perceive to be a certain way are really so different. It's as if he is steadily showing me stuff in spirit lifting a religious covering off of my eyes. Things like the love of God and faith are different than what I thought they would be as I actually experience them (they're a lot better!). I don't know if this makes much sense ☺ So yeah, I think submission in spirit (the selflessness you and James talked about) is a beautiful thing 💖 and different than what I originally thought. (I haven't experienced it yet though lol; I probs won't get married for another good 8ish years 😉)
And seriously you guys are so cute 😃 It's wonderful to see love in practice like the way you talked about the church situation. Lovely vid ☺ yay
That is so amazing!!! I love this line: "Things like the love of God and faith are different than what I thought they would be as I actually experience them (they're a lot better!)." That is so true!! 😍
Thank you so much for this contribution!!! I have the feeling that so many christians get it wrong and it really gives me hope, when I see couples who show how it' actually to be understood ;-)
My husband and I just got married ( November 2021 ) so we are still newlyweds 💍…. In our marriage what I feel like submitting to my husband looks like is… yes I consider him the head of the household BUT we make all of our big decisions together and we talk it out and compromise… and it works out for us….I would say the other BIG thing that makes our submission situation work is that I try very very hard to be respectful in the biblical way to him… and if he tells me he doesn’t want me doing something ( not in a controlling way at all ) more on a level of looking out for my safety and such like that… then I don’t do it… and that to me shows him that I respect him enough to listen to him as the head of the household… that’s just how our marriage works best for us 💍
This is the best description on Ephesians 5 that I've heard. I will surely share this with my hubby. You have such a great view for such a young couple. Thank You for following God, and sharing it with us.
It is beautiful to see how your husband is your partner in life.
So beautifully shared. I watched you guys when I was dating someone else 6-5 years ago. Now I’m married to the man God made clear was the right partner. Watching this feels so reassuring. A Godly marriage that is a best friendship and mutual partnership. Blessings!
Awwww!!! That means the world to me!! Congratulations!!❤️❤️❤️
So glad you guys made this video! This was such a brilliant take on this! It is meant to be about selfless love! 💗 - Est X
Thank you Est! You are always so encouraging. I'm so glad we're friends!!
Wow this is a take on Ephesians 5 I've never considered or heard before. You guys said it really well, and it makes sense.
Tiffany, Appreciate your willingness to speak on a subject like this, that I agree is probably misrepresented more in the church than properly taught. Have seen many of your videos and there is truly some excellent life lessons and scriptural truth that I'm very grateful for. As a man , I wanted to get a perspective from Godly women on many of the different issues surrounding marriage as I had formerly gathered much of the input from Godly men whose audience was unmarried men seeking a Godly wife so many videos have been a breath of fresh air with the opposite perspective. I do have some concerns though about some of the major points in this video and definitely welcome your feedback on all this. Early in the video, there was discussion about "how God leads us" when it relates to the word submission. One of the things I was trying to understand is what you meant by that in how you contrasted the way He leads us against the experience you had with the previous guy that you dated who adopted a very legalistic approach. There are many men who have abused this verse to no end, and that is absolutely not acceptable, but is it possible that because of those cases, the perspective of the Ephesians 5 passage has swung too far in the other direction?? I'm running into more and more women who find this passage repulsive, and isn't that a big red flag? I'm a big advocate for getting to the root definition of words as well as searching out other Scripture to help interpret Scripture. You had mentioned wanting to find the Greek word. That word for 'submission' in that passage is "hupotasso" which translates: to subordinate oneself; to obey. It comes from the root "hupo" which literally is similar to our English preposition "under" or "beneath". My trouble in understanding your video is that I don't see that reflected in how you described "who" God is to you and how He leads us or better yet leads the church. The words I heard you mention about God being our Father, Our best friend, Our provider, Our Comforter, all are wonderful and accurate descriptions of God. But what about our Lord?? There are several situations in my life where there have been some very difficult things that God has spoken to me to follow. I didn't agree, I didn't understand, I didn't see the end goal or the rationale behind them, but i had to address God as the Lord of my life, submit my will, and accept His in obedience. Aren't there situations in marriage that would call for this type of interaction between husband and wife that go beyond the selfless definition that you describe in the video? What about in conflict?? I completely agree with your explanation of selflessness within the marriage, but i think submission goes beyond that in the context of this Scripture. If that was God's intent, wouldn't He have asked both spouses to submit to each other?? But He didn't. In digging deeper, i sought out one of the other passages that correlates directly to Ephesians 5. It comes in 1 Peter 3. Now I am not married yet, but in searching for a wife, this is probably my favorite passage, notably vv.1-4 that describe the character of the Godly wife that I am looking for. Later in v. 6 it references Sarah in how she even addressed her husband Abraham as Lord. I think many women may bawk at this, but I find this story incredibly applicable to the marriage relationship. One of the previous comments in this video compared the story of Adam and Eve, and how sin "entered the world through one man" despite Eve partaking in the fruit. Similarly, with Abraham and Sarah, Sarah permitted Abraham to sleep with Hagar as she grew impatient about God's promise of an heir. In both stories, the husband was indecisive and it led to sin, not for one, but for both. And God holds the husband accountable in both instances. Eve also chose not to stay under Adam's covering, and Adam failed to act as the protector and leader of his family. So what am I getting at, I'm saying that I see this situation repeated so many times in marriages that believe that the husband-wife relationship is about just collaboration and selflessness that are based on mutual decisions. Often times wives are waiting on their husbands to make decisions and the husband is too indecisive to make it, because they have failed to act in the authority that God has placed on them as the head of household. Similarly, when there is conflict, and wives disagree with their husbands opinion in a given matter, often times they choose not to submit and to make a decision on their own behalf. I believe what God is trying to convey to us about the marriage relationship can be gathered from the example He set for us through His Son. Yes, Jesus gave himself up for the church, as a servant, (Eph. 5:25) and husbands should do so. But husbands should approach this as submitting to God first. The husband's role as I understand it, is first to God, not to his wife. And in doing this, he will indirectly fulfill his duty to His wife as He conforms and submits himself to the lordship of Christ. The man is called to submit just as the wife is, but his submission is to God. The only way he can love his wife as Christ loved the church is to receive the love that Christ has for him first and then reciprocate that in the same way to his wife (see 1 John 4:19). For wives, I think there is something to be said about what truly submitting to your husband. Should wive submit to their husbands even when they are wrong? I believe so, because through passages like 1 Peter 3, that "gentle spirit" of submission is what allows God the room to correct the husband and reorient the situation. Similarly, husbands are not off the hook when wives choose to make their own decisions on matters of disagreement and his response to her should be love. I think you made a great point about love and respect and have read that book, as it does a great job of explaining not just what men and women "need" , but what they are natural at giving and why God calls us to give to our spouse the opposite of what comes natural to us. One encouraging belief I have always held onto is the role of the Holy Spirit in marriage. As we know He is in fact our Helper and we know that He "guides us into all truth" (John 16:13). So if the husband and the wife are in sync with the Holy Spirit and walking in the Spirit, then they will always be converging towards the same truth (which is Christ) and I believe that will help alleviate many of the disagreements that often come up in marriage. SO if you take anything from this, I would encourage women reading this to not be afraid to submit to their husbands, and husbands not be afraid to submit to the Lord and lead their wives. There are gifts that are so powerful that are found only in submission, because they require a deep faith. And that submission is also what protects the relationship, because God covers the husband, and the husband covers the wife. But i would also caution the message that I got from this video on the thought that all decisions are collaborative and if you disagree, you just talk more. That is not representative of the relationship between us and Christ as we are his bride and he is our husband. And as our husband, we are called to submit to Him in everything, regardless of whether we agree. I think husbands and wives should adopt that model in those cases too knowing that God has called us both to submission, not to agreement. He will provide the unity in the relationship, as the ultimate covering, but that is contingent upon us obeying His call to submission (wives to husbands, and husbands to Christ.) Welcome comments and thoughts from others on their perspective...
Beautiful comment. If we both submit to God, submission to each other is easy. However if we fail to agree (which is rare in a spirit filled relationship), the woman defers to the man. i think instead of single women being afraid of submission, they should focus on allowing God choose a man who's submitted to Him their way. Submission will not go out of fashion, it's bigger than us. neither will a man loving his wife like Christ loves the church. And even though women think submission is hard, I think it's because we don't know what the call of the man as head requires. Submission isn't harder than loving like Christ loves the church. They are both a great call and require humility and a deep walk with God.
THIS! THIS! YES!!
Sooo coming from abuse and now being married and trying my best over the past four months of marriage to submit and obey God it drives me CRAZY!!!!! I don’t like feeling like I have to be quiet or not make decisions/etc so coming from not being raised in the church and my husband is I see a lot of his dad influence in the house (since we live with his parents) it’s annoying lol. His dad controls my mother in law in a sense she’s not allowed to work or anything my husband doesn’t want me working (he has a change in mind sometimes) if I want to work I can and I’ve tried it but don’t like it but anyways I love this video because submission can be controlling and remind me of abuse and I don’t like it. It makes me feel isolated and like I’m losing myself. Not good at all. Please pray for Me. Btw my husband is very understanding and gentle, just learning things as I go through marriage.
I love your take on this topic! Another interesting thing that always stood out to me, in Genesis where God talks to Adam and Eve and in Ephesians 5, He is always telling the woman to submit, He never commands the husband to rule over her!
PREACH YOU GUYS!!! I’m so happy you made this, I’ve always thought that but I’ve never known how to put it into words!!!
My problem that I had with the whole submission thing was specifically with sex. For the longest time I felt like it shouldn’t be someone else who gets to decide when intimacy happens. Because I feel like a lot of people do interpret it that way. But this video put my mind at peace a little. I just hope whoever I end up with agrees with me.
But does the bible agree with you? The bible tells wives to submit to their husbands in everything. Sex is included in everything. No wife should ever tell her husband no to sex just because she does not fell like it. It is a sin to do so.
"Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything." (Ephesians 5:22-24)
"The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." (1 Corinthians 7:3-4)
@@j.p.5716 lmao well my husband agrees with me on this one sooo I guess I'm lucky. But hey if I ever get raped inside my marriage I'll be sure to remember I'm going to hell if I try to say no. Thanks.
@@lithigos - Well, biblically, there is no such thing as rape in marriage. Before the feminist got the laws changed in the early 19th Century, the definition of rape was "forced sex outside of marriage".
And just because you sin, does not mean you are going to hell. "for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23)
What you will go to hell for is not putting your faith and trust in Jesus Christ as your Savior and your Lord. But I wish you and your (feminist) husband the best.
@@j.p.5716 I have to disagree hard with your statement, and not just because I'm not a Christian anymore.
If you take the analogy from the Bible of marriage being symbolic of the relationship between God and the church, then it should be clear to you that free will is a big part of either dynamic, and if you force your spouse to do something against their will, you therefore strip away their free will. That is why consent is important in marriages as well as the church. A woman "submitting" to her husband and allowing him to have sex with her even if she has no desire for it is wrong, because she is operating on the belief that she has no God-given free will within her marriage. The act of sex therefore means nothing, like if a church member performed righteous acts only for the sake of the praise of fellow members.
It doesn't matter what has or hasn't been legal over the last 100 years. Free will has always been an important aspect to the Gospel. Stripping people's free will, aka legal rights in some situations, is wrong.
I hope you will not continue this discussion and will instead take some time to meditate with your Bible, because it seems you've only come to this comment section to assert some beliefs that I strongly believe Jesus himself would call you out on.
@@lithigos - I am not saying that it is good or preferable for a husband to force his wife to have sex. I am just saying that it is not a crime. It is impossible for someone to unlawfully take something that already belongs to them.
I am also saying that if a women denies her husband sex, she is sinning. The bible says that she does not have authority over her own body, her husband does. She should give her husband the facts if she thinks they warrant abstaining at that given time and allow him to make the decision.
If she denies her husband sex on any regular basis at all, it is a sin (porneia) that biblically justifies divorce.
Feminism has lied to you all in telling you that a woman has equal authority in a marriage. She does not. God says that her husband is her head and she is to submit to him in everything. God specifically says that (for the purpose of sex) she does not even have authority over her own body, her husband does.
Can she say no? Sure but it's a sin. If her husband forces her, is it a crime, No, it is not. And as long as he does not physically harm her in the process, I don't even think it is a sin.
Great video (I have been saying that a lot since finding your channel lol) you hit lots of important points. My dad is a bible teacher and explains it using the Greek word which is like a military term where each person has their own “job” or “position” and they work together as a team each using their role to support the other.
Lol I wrote this before getting to the section you wonder about the word.
mutual submission is it. jesus was a radical contradiction from worldly men and on the fallen (adam and eve's) sinful nature of men's desire and search to dominate. jesus said 'be like me- i'm meek and humble. and jesus was a slave to love-- he washed the disciple's feet- a servant. his love modeled sacrificial love (thinks of others first, not himself)-- and paul clearly is teaching that. men, put your wife first, as if she were you, yourself. it has nothing to do with dominance, "headship'" (which there is no mention of in any scripture-- that's completely a worldly idea, and used to abuse and support worldly vision of men). there is no leader in the worldly sense. the whole concept in christian marriage is one flesh.the other you put first, and they put you first.
and to do that, there is mutual submission. you two have it right-- thank you so much. god bless. here's the best explanation i've seen: www.pbpayne.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Payne.pdf
the only Christian youtuber I can actually listen to and agree with on some points.. I respect you and I think you’re awesome! Keep up with good work!
This is an example of God's grace. There are issues here. Some things aren't worth fixing. It's disturbing to hear a man say he isn't comfortable with his decisions. We truly are different as a race. This just confirms to me that marriage is just finding a person who's flaws compliment your own. I couldn't be the ex bf in this story. I also couldn't pair myself with a partner like the lady. A lot of women wouldn't be partnered with the dude in the video, but God's grace is amazing and these two found each other. To me, anger at scripture would be a red flag, but im a new Christian trying navigate relationships in a new Christian way before I decide how I want to be...married or monk mode. Leaning towards monk mode watching a lot of these videos on TH-cam.
4:04 the look of absolute love at hubby for revealing a complicated twisted meaning in such a simple way 😁❤
The only submission I want from my wife is when we're in a disagreement and it's about to get a little heated, and when I say let's just leave it alone, I expect for her to do just that
I agree with the respect aspect. I can quickly see that my fiance is full of pride and love for me and our relationship when i treat him with respect. I agree that control is not submission!
That is so beautiful how you said that he's full of pride and love for you as you treat him with respect. I love that!
So why are the phrases different if both the man and woman are putting theirselves to the side. Why is it love for a man and not love for a woman, but submit. Why is it not just both of you put yourselves to the side and love each other? I think the word submit means something different than love, and therefore submitting is not the same as loving. To me, using the word submit means I am making the man my leader. So why must I do that but my husband only has to love me?? That puts a lot of power into a man's hands to be kind and properly love and not abuse, and zero power to the woman because she is supposed to submit. She is supposed to let the man be "the leader". I do not think one or the other should submit. Both should submit AND love. Men are not superior to women in their value. We are different but neither is more valuable. I am okay with what the greek definition of submission is, but I do think this passage is giving more power to a man, simply because the wording is not the same for both parties. You can interpret it however you want, but only the woman is expected to submit and love in that way. Men are just supposed to be kind, gentle, and love, and be the leader. Meaning a woman to be the follower. That is not the way i would want to view a relationship. Neither are leaders, neither are followers, both just need to love and respect each other. The words chosen matter.
If submission in a biblical marriage meant allowing your husband to be an authority figure over you who makes all the final decisions then I would never be married. I knew one woman who would not buy clothes without her husband approving that it was modest enough.
Hi guys what you guys are talking about is not submission it is control big difference the bible is not wrong by putting this word I do agree control is wrong. God did put submission, not control people are taken it out of context, please read the verse again because it does not say control your wife. I can tell by the comments people are talking about control. This passage is not being misused its guys like your ex is being controlling. Lots of people do not understand what submission means just like your ex doesn't. Love you guys.
Hi guys. Thx so much for this video. I had and have felt the same about this issue for a long time. when I read this passage its like God knows what a man needs in a relationship( Respect) and He knows women needs to feel loved. If both get's this in the relationship, it will flourish. I'm amongst Christian men/leaders who often make me feel that because I'm a bubble person and my husband more of a quiet type. they feel I need to know my place in when to speak. This results into them liking my husband more than me and disrespecting my opinions. My husband feels the same about this topic, and he even gets more frustrated because it seem likes they want to change him. Its so exhausting till the point that we want to remove ourselves from this cell group.
Can you talk about how to deal with people in your life that take you for granted, especially if this has been a lifetime of it?
And yes! I am grateful to hear you speak out about your understanding of this scripture. Ty.
very good video on the subj. TY for being bold. May the Lord keep strengthening you both.
Hi Tiffany.
Wow I was not expecting this to be in my in box but I'm glad to hear your viewpoint. Quite similar to mine but I'm always afraid to express it so thank you so much for the video.
So the main thing I get annoyed about with people (legalistic and atheistic alike) discussing this topic is that they do not look at other references and examples that could add more clarity in what Paul was trying to say in Ephesians.
There are probably many examples of husband/wife relationships in the bible. For example Sarah and Abraham I personally do not think have a strong "head of household" type of relationship. I might have to study it again just to make sure. I don't really know of other examples either that aren't totally crammed with "what NOT to do in a marriage" *cough* King David *cough*.
Understanding how God interacts with us and what His motivations are with us also give us insight into how not only the husband but also how the wife acts. You probably already said this but becoming married does not remove the fact that you are first of all responsible and answerable to God. Both Christian husbands and wives are to follow the example of Christ, there is no room for an authoritarian view of marriage.
Conveniently enough, people seem to forget Ephesians 5: 21, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" which is the line right before the husband/wife passage mentioned in your video. This I think sets the tone of how Christians should act towards each other in general. This isn't negated by the husband/wife section so I don't understand why some christian husbands cannot see that no submission of any kind is required of them. Christ submitted to the Father, to us (by serving us instead now and whilst He walked this Earth beforehand).
It would be interesting to know the Greek translation but also the cultural context. The more knowledge around the passage the more confident one can feel about the meaning behind it, in my opinion.
Anyway, as always I love to know what you think. Hopefully you can also think of other marriages in the bible giving us a guide on how to approach it.
Hahahaha that is so true -- the Bible definitely includes a lot of "what not to do" examples from the heroes of the faith! Which is kind of cool, just because it shows how God can use ANYONE, no matter how broken we are! I love that! It gives me so much hope. 😂😍 And I totally agree, seeing how God leads us helps to shed so much light on passages like this one in Ephesians, and how we are meant to apply it in marriage. And you're so right -- cultural context as well as context of the passage and whole Bible is HUGE. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this too! I loved reading them! ❤️
Abraham was “the father of many nations,” so I think that he was the head. Yes, you are not supposed to be controlling or abusive, but that’s not what theBible says anyway.
In Greek submission means to arange under, to subject oneself, obey. In Hebrew, submission means humility, subjagation, bringing near, presenting. i wrote both definitions cause you were wondering about what it means in greek though i dont know why since the bible (Torah) was originally written in hebrew
Hey Tiffany! We just watched this in our small group in Glasgow Navigators! We’re going through Colossians and found it really helpful to have a women’s perspective, as a number of us were a little bit sick of men telling us what submission means...thank you for sharing your thoughts x
Oh I'm so glad!! That's awesome your group is able to talk about tough issues like this together! :):)
@Natalie Clark
When these men try to bully you into their false view of submission with Ephesians 5, tell them that the same Scripture says they should DIE for you like Christ DIED for the church.
Make them understand that this is a different way of commanding them to SUBMIT! Its saying they should DIE TO SELF for you in the same way that by submitting, you are DYING TO SELF for them.
Love the couple in the video. This has helped me a lot.
I will play "devil's advocate". If Ephesians 5 made almost all men angry, that they felt that Loving their Wives is not what God is commanding, and most men chose to hate their wives, would that change your perspective? That is exactly what women are doing today. Women feel free to tell men what it means for her man to show her love, i.e. "Five Love Languages", but it makes you sick to hear what is submission to a man???
I have been married twice, and both women were awesome, caring, respectful for at least the first year. Then came disrespectful attitudes, anger, vindictiveness, and ultimately vengeance. I chose to Love my wives all along, and I did so intentionally because that is what I am called to do, and what is in my heart. Their refusal to submit on anything led to a lot of conflict, resentment, and ultimately the demise of our marriage.
Why are you "sick" of men telling you what submission means? Do you not tell your husband what your 'Love Language' is? Or tell him when you don't feel loved? Or tell him what you desire for him to do for you?
A woman's need for love is exactly a man's need for respect. In that respect, is the same type of respect a person would have for their boss. Your boss tells you what to do, and you do it, or you quit, or get fired. Submission is doing what you are told. Why do you have a problem with that?
@@markh7004
This is exactly what this video is trying to tell you and you are refusing to listen. God is NOT saying that men are the bosses of women.
The LOVE that men are commanded to give to women is the same as SUBMISSION.
Men are to put their interests before women's by DYING for them (giving themselves for women) like Christ did.
Men the boss? Study some more!
I did listen to the video, and that's why i commented. The video is mostly saying that the wife has no obligation to submit and is justifying why she doesn't have to.
You are incorrect, a man in no way must submit to his wife. There are at least five verses in scripture that state that wives are to submit.
I have studied scripture more than anyone i know.
You wrote "God is not saying that men are the bosses of women". How do you explain 1 Corinthians 11:3 _But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God._ ? Or 3 Colossians 18-19 _Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them_ ?
God has a unique role for a man and a unique role for a woman. 1 Corinthians 11:7 _For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man._
You also wrote that men are to put their interests before women's, so that is scriptural, why do you have a problem with telling men what to do while you give women a pass and implying that they are not required to submit to their husbands?
Ephesians 5:22 - 24.
22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
If the wife does not submit unto her husband she is NOT submitting herself unto the Lord, regardless of how vehemently she may claim to submit herself unto the Lord.
The husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, as the Church (The true church) obeys the word of the Lord, likewise, the wife obeys the word of her husband.
The wife is NOT a “Doormat” most decisions make themselves, however, someone must have, on occasions, the final say.
Also:
Colossians 3:18.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
Also:
1 Peter 3:1.
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.
Your husband is your authority. Christ's directs us and leads us. It's just up to us to choose His way aka obedience. So yes your husband is in control in everything.
My husband is my leader- he has a 51% trump card when it comes to big decisions- we still talk and discuss. But he has the last word. And I personally feel like, though it's the harder path to walk- it is more blessed.
I follow him and submit to him (lets be real, I TRY) as a lessor Jesus. Submit to Jesus first, husband second.
Whether or not he follows his half of the deal is between him and God. But my path is to walk in submission.
I serve Jesus by serving him (again, I TRY).
I really enjoyed this video.. I am always told to submit all the time.. as in he is the man so what he says goes.. I really hope we can get past this but right now it is crippling our marriage
Jasmine, how are you? did your problem resolve? i'm in a similar situation
Awesome video, well presented and based on the word. Great collaboration too, you go guys! 🙏
Hi Tiffany, but I want to ask, how can a husband show leadership in his family if he always has to agree with his wife all the time? I mean, I am a more rational person, my wife is a more emotional person, so sometimes I have to calm her down and explain why I make certain decisions. Most of the time she agrees, but sometimes I have to make decisions for the best interests of my family even if she disagrees. I hope to kesrn to be a better Christian leader of the home.
Edward Kwok good question
Hi! I don't think that's what she said. As the head, yes you make the final, overall decision but you have to take into account your wife's opinion on the matter and she yours. Its about communication, respect, selflessness /humbleness, and most important what God is telling you both. Submission is about oneness and when you have that oneness you will still have your own opinion but you and your wife's opinion will line up. It won't happen in an instant, takes time. If she disagrees talk about why she thinks that, who knows maybe she's right. But most importantly pray about them. I hope I was understandable and it helped! I'll pray for you guys!
street rose
all men need to remember that the female will seek to undermine you anytime you have an opinion that is different from hers or you dont give in to whatever she wants at that moment.
John Reed I'm sorry but that is quite incorrect. Not ALL women do that. But both males and female can be quite selfish like that though.
street rose
I have come to this conclusion based on observation of the females around me and personal experience. the exception to the rule does not negate the rule. I have never had any long term interaction withany female who takes no for an answer without trying to manipulate to get what she wants. I agree that selfishness is a human trait. but I have found that the true revelation of a females nature is when you tell her no.
I just feel like I have not got some real examples on how a wife should submit to her husband.
It was more of what submission should not be rather than what it should be.
Please give me a scenario of what submission should be like btn a husband and wife.
Please get me right. I am trying to understand here. A good husband in the making.
Hi Gervais, I don't agree with this couple. This is just another demonstration of how feminism has crept into the Church. I just uploaded my video on wifely submission, and how I understand it. th-cam.com/video/I--W5baVt-Y/w-d-xo.html In short, there is such beauty and vulnerability in a marriage when the wife submits, seeks to please her man and obeys him in everything.
JAMES YOU ARE SUCH AN AWESOME MAN ! I LOVE YOUR OUTLOOK !!!
I agree- he's amazing!
True dat! Thank you for doing a video on this topic. I share Tiffany's passion on this topic b/c yes I have seen it abused too. Thank you for clarifying the balance of the topic.
I absolutely adore and rejoice that you guys made this video and I made sure to share it on my FB! :) Thank you for always being brave on controversial topics. Your take on the passage is how I feel it was always meant to be looked at and understood! :)
Thank you so much for sharing it! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
Wow.... So misused!!!
In our Church We are taught both the wife and the husband submit unto each other... Be sacrificial in love towards each other, in our care of our spouse or in the future if not married yet. But I do think you have to have alignment in big decisions and since the wife is to support her husband it is good to know what direction God's leading him.
think that big decisions should have much conversation and be considered between both of you.
So so true! Thanks for making this video!
You guys gave me such a fresh perspective on this. I've been confused for so long, thank you for clearing some things up. 🤎
Thank you so much. You have no idea how much I needed this video today. It’s been something I have been struggling with as I and my fiancé are getting married in 3 months. Thank you it truly truly encouraged me! The Lord is using you both!
I'm so glad it could encourage you!!
Also congratulations on your upcoming wedding!!! 😍😍
Thank you so much for making videos together! My husband and I are recently married and he loves to tune in when I watch your couple videos.
I really appreciate this because so many people say that its supposed to be the other way and I really believe that it should be this way so thank you so much
Gosh you inspire me so much!
Wow, this is my first time to see one of y'all video and y'all channel. Happy I came across y'all on Here...Love this video on submission . It is really good. Thanks for sharing. God Bless Y'all
Just wondering, If y'all ever seen this youtube video - What is the Man's Job? - It is from 12Stone Church, I noticed. It is a very thought provoking video, too.
Hey guys! I really loved this video. My husband and I have been studying and researching and praying about sexism in the church. Btw, I am NOT a modern day feminist. I see Jesus as the original Womens Rights Movement when he was walking on earth :) I loved this collab you guys did. Ill show my husband too. very nice
Except it is about who's boss, and does not matter at all what it means to you. All that matters is what God explicitly says, very, very clearlyand very, very often, that the man is head, he must rule. Tge woman is his helper created for him and is to be subject to him in everything. To not do so is rebellion against God and will not end well. It's unchangeable, it matters not if you accept it or not, the results will still be the same. The man will be held responsible for not ruling, for not leading his woman and the woman for her rebellion and lack of submission. God is not mocked, repent.
Wow, there are a lot of terrible comments on this one! Guys, James isn’t “effeminate” because he loves his wife and respects her input in decisions. Only a fool (and the Bible has a lot to say about fools) would ignore wise advice or treat his wife like a servant. Adam and Eve were created as helpmates and equals before God. A husband being put in the place of leadership makes them responsible before God, not “better than,” “more important than,” “smarter than,” or “the boss of” their wife. Christ washed his disciples’ feet and died for the church. Are you dying to your own selfish desires every day as you serve your wife? Or are you focussed on yourself and demanding submission?
If you only make unanimous decisions than why doesn't it say that's ok in the Bible?
I love my wife.. she loves to be totally submissive to me, yes in all the ways. It makes her happy, so why would I not take care of her that way. I value her opinions too, but in the end I get to decide what's best. Not because I demanded it, it was what she asked me for. So you see, there's many different ways of going about the submission in marriage.
We already had this type of relationship before we got married. She didn't run.. she wanted more of it. It made our relationship very strong and helped us grow in being the perfect husband and wife for each other. I'm not saying this is the perfect way of doing it or seeing things, I'm just saying it's not a bad thing per se when a woman loves to be submissive and have her man lead. I do agree it's not good when a man takes it by force. I neer had to and I never will. She GIVES me her submission..
I like your thoughts on submission. You work together.
Something well worth remembering "A God fearing obedient wife commands her husband".
@A person
No. Just a pearl of human wisdom, I do believe......{;o;}
@A person
A true humble dedicated "Daughter of Sarah" will get praise and wonderful blessings from Almighty God when she obeys the instructions given for wives through St. Paul and St. Peter.
"22 Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ also is the head of the church, being himself the saviour of the body.
24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their husbands in everything"
Ephesians 5:21-24 (ASV)
And St. Peter:
"You married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives,
2 When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him-to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].
3 Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning with [elaborate] interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes;
4 But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God.
5 For it was thus that the pious women of old who hoped in God were [accustomed] to beautify themselves and were submissive to their husbands [adapting themselves to them as themselves secondary and dependent upon them].
6 It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by] calling him lord (master, leader, authority).
And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you]."
1 Peter 3:1-6 (AMPLIFIED BIBLE)
@A person
I only inform what the Holy Bible states for the benefit of ALL Almighty God's Elected Saints. People can do whatever they like.
@A person
Of course not!
The instructions given to wives is for wives.......{;o;}
Better to remain unmarried as St. Paul states:
"25 Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful.
26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be. 27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned.
Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;
30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;
31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away. 32 But I would have you without carefulness.
He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin.
The **unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord**, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
1 Corinthians 7:25-35 (KJV)
@A person
You are most welcome.....
You guys are so cute together ❤️❤️
omg tiffany. i just came across your videos last week and have been binge watching them. thank you soooo much for creating these videos. i always had a problem with how people translated ephesians 5 so literally to mean that men have power over women. thank you for teaching us that is it about humility and not about control.
Oh I'm so glad these videos can encourage you!! 🤗❤️
I love this video!! I've always struggled with the idea of submission but you guys really made it simple and easy. God bless you and your marriage
I'm so glad!! I've always struggled with that idea too!
I love this so much and completly agree! Love watching your videos!
St. Paul sums the Divinely intended role of a dedicated wife plainly
and righteously.
"22 Wives, **submit yourselves unto your own
husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife,
even as Christ is the head of
the church: and he is the saviour of the
body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be
to their own husbands in EVERYTHING."
Eph 5:21-24 (KJV)
**SUBMIT:
[to SUBORDINATE; reflexive TO OBEY :- be UNDER OBEDIENCE
(OBEDIENT), put under, subdue unto, (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put)
in subjection
(to, under), SUBMIT SELF unto.-Strong's Talking Greek & Hebrew
Dictionary )
St. Peter also taught similarly:
"You married women, be submissive
to your own husbands [subordinate
yourselves as being secondary to and
dependent on them, and adapt yourselves
to them], so that even if any do not
obey the Word [of God], they may be won
over not by discussion but by the
[godly] lives of their wives,
2 When they observe the pure and modest way
in which you conduct yourselves,
together with your reverence [for your
husband; you are to feel for him all
that reverence includes: to respect,
defer to, revere him-to honor, esteem,
appreciate, prize, and, in the human
sense, to adore him, that is, to
admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love,
and enjoy your husband].
1 Peter 3:1-2 (AMP.BIBLE)
So folks, the
sincerely, truly dedicated, faithful "Daughters of Sarah" will
humbly obey and please Almighty God.
The rest will sadly only bring His wrath
and condemnation upon themselves.
I love this so much and agree with everything you said, the only thing I am struggling with is the actual difference between the two words. God could have very well said "a man should love his wife as christ does and a woman should love her husband as christ does", but he specifically chose two different words "love" and "submit" for a reason. I know it is all about selflessness on both sides, but there are definitely differences between the two and how they play out in a relationship that I wish were touched on a bit more. But overall I think everything you two talked about is so important to know so thanks for sharing!
Submission is written in Bible as a means of the husband is the head of household.the domineering decision maker and his woman/wife must obey in all ways and love him properly !!!it's in corinthians Timothy and several other books of the Bible..man is above woman I'm a sense of God's view...men were created in God's image and woman in mans image as man being the more dominant and head of all /most situations....
No dear, the TRANSLATOR choose those words, not God.
hey tiffany!! i’d love to see a video about how to stop trying to one up people in faith, a lot of times i try to let ppl know about all the godly things i’ve done to make them think more highly of me and recite scriptures to let them know i read the Bible and i can’t seem to stop, i’ve been praying about it and i’d really appreciate your advice!! love your videos sm! God Bless!
Oh what an AMAZING question!!!! I have TOTALLY done this too!!! (And still do...even this weekend I found myself doing this!!) Here are a couple videos I made that talk some about this issue/the core issue behind it for me personally: th-cam.com/video/C823_aC0hMQ/w-d-xo.html & th-cam.com/video/uSOyx1E8pbE/w-d-xo.html -- I hope they can encourage you! I think just realizing you're doing it is a HUGE step -- at least it was for me. ❤️❤️❤️
Tiffany Dawn thank you so much!! love your videos!