3 Easy Steps for ADHD Organization | ADHD Skills Part 3
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ส.ค. 2020
- Disorganization causes a lot of frustration and wasted time looking for things. And it can frustrate the people around you. Here are 3 steps to keep up with your stuff - Place, Retrieve and Return.
See my ADHD Skills playlist for more: • Skills Training for At...
The starting point for organization is making a place for everything. Even small things have a designated place. This can be a drawer for your pens, a container for your mail and a hook for your keys.
When you have organizational problems, the tendency is to want to keep things within reach. So you may have a lot of clutter lying about, but you feel you need it to look like that so you can keep up with things. Well when you are assigning your places, you do want to have the things you use most often in the most convenient place or within easy view. But the placement of things needs to be a little more intentional.
Once you decide where things should go, you have to commit to putting them back in their place right after you use them. So when you need something, you go retrieve it from it’s place, then you immediately return it when you’re done.
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Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.
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Dr. Marks, I find your videos to be extremely helpful and informative. My doctor and I are thinking I may have BPD and/ or ADHD. I keep reading about a correlation between the two. Can you please help me understand how these conditions may be related?
Love this!!!! 😍 Thank you!!!
I'll start from the start but is there a decluttering video? We really need one 🥺
i realize I'm kinda randomly asking but does anyone know of a good place to watch newly released movies online?
@Dane Zechariah Thank you, signed up and it seems like they got a lot of movies there :) Appreciate it !!
My biggest mistake is setting something down and thinking I'll remember that place easy, no problem, and then 2 minutes later I will have completely forgotten it. Gets me all the time.
It always seems so logical at the time "there's no way I'll forget with it right there"... - forgets
My is almost 4 month my brain is devastating am very sad
Get some kind of location device like a Tile or something else. My sister got me one for Christmas because I never would spend the money on myself. I cannot begin to tell you how much stress this little thing has saved me from. I never look for my keys anymore. However, telling people with ADHD that they just need to change the way they think and plan, retrieve and return is like telling people with ADHD they just need to pick up after themselves. Sorry, I just don’t find that even remotely helpful. There are helpful therapists out there who have ADHD themselves and have real solutions that work for people that have ADHD. I don’t think this doctor is one of those. The place, retrieve, return suggestion alone puts me in doubt of everything else she may have to say. I want to say “really? That’s what I’ve been doing wrong all this time?! Gee, thanks doc. I am cured! “
And I don't know how every time i trust my memory again and believe that no, of course i will never forget about it 😂
I intentionally put things in a 'safe place' then forget what the safe place is.
These videos crack me up. People that don’t have ADHD don’t get it but every time she talks about something I do, it cracks me up. It’s like a total stranger understands me more than people I have known my whole life.
I seriously believe minimalism is key with ADHD.
I hate the way the word "minimalism" has been corrupted by lifestyle gurus with little education.
But ... Yes. I agree with your point entirely. Routinely eliminating things you don't use or need is a great way to avoid visual clutter. It's been one of my biggest ways of keeping some control over my home.
I'm agree with you, I have ADHD and realized that less is more.
So do I! & I’ve been a maximalist with a scattered brain my whole life, until recently! Self sabotage is brutal. When I got rid of things, and stuff I felt so much instant relief that actually lasted for a change.
i hate having hoarder mania and adhd. i wish i was just born normal lol :(
That’s my problem I’m a hoarder type personality. My dads a full blown hoarder snd I have inherited it. I find comfort in collecting things. And I can’t let go of items I’m sentimental too. And I don’t know how to organize my room cause the amount of items I have are overwhelming. And I’m also unable to be satisfied with any place or decisions I make cause it always feels wrong or imperfect. Like I crave order but I can’t do that. I crave satisfaction and to have everything in its own place but I can’t figure it out. I may be autistic and I think this is part of my issue.
The best advice I ever heard on organization is, when deciding on where an item's home will be, ask yourself "where would be the first place I would look for this?" That's where you should keep it.
Unless you can think of 5 places that make sense... lol
@@divinetrouble66 LOL, yes, very true! 😆🤣
I have found some items are good to have in a few different places, like scissors!
Good idea thanks.
@@MsShutterbug777 You're welcome, but I can't take credit for it... I think I heard it from Dana on "A Slob Comes Clean" here on TH-cam... she has awesome ideas for decluttering and organizing for our type of brains! I'm pretty sure she has ADHD, but I've never heard her mention it. Also, Cas from "Clutterbug" (she actually has ADHD too!) and "The Minimal Mom" who doesn't have ADHD, but has refreshing ideas/thoughts about all the unnecessary stuff we all have!
@@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane maybe a few small kids scissors? 1 for each spot.
"If you find something like a photo book resist the urge to look through it" this is me EVERYTIME. I always look and then I'm exhausted after!
My mom used to get so aggravated when she'd ask me to clean my room, because I'd get distracted by every piece of writing I found on the way, or by photo albums. Even now, at 40, I'll catch myself doing it and think of her, lol >
I don’t have photo book 😅
Thiiis, I get so amped and buy all these things to organize my home--but then as soon as I start, I get overwhelmed by how should I sort everything, and then it's, 'oh look, that book I forgot about! Lemme just look at it real quick...'
**Do not ever answer the phone while dealing with money, keys or anything important!**
This is my top tip to myself and I only learned by bitter experience. I never answer the phone while locking or unlocking a door or using a cashpoint or anything like that. Somehow the phone call wipes my memory of what I did with the keys, money, debit cards etc. And things you thought you'd done (like locking the door) somehow remain undone. And you have no idea.
So even if you feel like you're being rude, let the phone call wait. It saves so much hassle.
I'm 48 years old BTW and I only learned to do this in the last few years. Before this I got into some real pickles!
That's some great advice. And the situation does hit home for me!
it's the same for me, because someone called me as i was going inside my house i forgot to lock the door. Thankful i closed it behind me and nothing bad happened!
I’m always afraid I left the garage door open when I leave the driveway
Wait a fucking minute ............. how have I not realized this about myself
Good tip. To generalize, whenever a routine gets interrupted, bad things are likely to happen.
The part about not being able to find things and frustrating others really hit me deep. I lost count of how many times I have been yelled at in my life for not being able to see/find things.
Right they ask why aren’t you looking but it’s like I am looking I don’t see it and you didn’t give a good description of where it’s at. It’s always it’s in this room or on this shelf never very specific,
My dad's version of helping with the car was me watching amd then bejng asked every 15 mins to go get a new tool he would really badly describe. I.E. "get me the screwdriver with the blue handle" that turns out to be so dark you could hardly call it blue, and repeat!
Right! At first, it’s kind of silly or funny to other people. Then after the 10th or 100th time, it’s so frustrating. I always feel like everything is running away from me.
Nearly in tears. I never would have been able to pay for this coaching. Amazing stuff.
I’m in tears because I keep getting diagnosed with anxiety when it feels like it’s ADHD
I could pay for it and still not be able to do it
@@savegraysoncatsyour pfp is 🥰
@@teesaayegnala7689 we love a tall ear cat
@monicarenee7949 yes. They kept telling me I was depressed. I said everything keeps falling apart but I am.still pretty happy
I once heard that one problem for people with ADHD or executive disfunction is having too much stuff. If there's so much stuff that there simply isn't room to organize and have a spot for everything, you'll need to downsize some things. That's what I'm working on today. 🙂
True, that’s why I am grateful that I don’t have the “collector’s” gene. I would never be able to sort things out.
I have tried to let go of everything and hope to build a VERY tiny house so I can't accumulate more
I live a very minimalistic lifestyle
additionally being unable to hold a job makes that accidentally possible 😅
@@thatnonchalantguy yeah. I have a chemistry degree but kept changing jobs because of all the paperwork. Finally took a factory job while I tried to figure out why I couldn't keep up with paperwork and reporting. Bid into an industrial maintenance apprenticeship at the factory and never had a job fit better. No paperwork. You walk up to equipment not running and as long as you have it running when you walk away no one cares how it happened
I keep EVERYTHING in its place. I hate a messy place, because it overwhelms me. So everything in my house has a place, and once I'm done whatever thing, it goes right back to its place. People call me a highly organized person, but I like to think it's because I'm lazy...it takes waaay longer to look for something than to just find it right away 😊)
I fully agree with you!
I use a flashlight to look for things...It helps me focas on individual items as I search. You put into words what we ADD folks deal with everyday. Thankyou for that!
Hey...thats a great idea very creative iwish i thought of that. Thinking about it...yeah...it would help with focus. Im going to try that..
Yeah thats sounds like its worth a shot 👍
Omg I’m gonna do that. But I might use a stick or wand instead.
Genius! Thanks for the tip!
She is one of the best video instructors for adhd...
Guarantee after a week someone's going to suddenly remember this video and won't be able to find it
Lol 😆
It’s real
hahaha
Thank God for the history button! 😂😂😂
@Pandabear4321gogo
🤣
Legit!
This video is super well done. I know this because I feel very called out by it 😂
Lol! That’s a great test! 😊👍🏽
Lol! Yes 100% me too!
100%. It feels like she's here scolding me by name 😂
@@christopherrto wooohooo rejection sensitive dysphoria for the win!
@@christopherrto Yes because scolding someone with ADHD immediately cures their executive function.
I DEFINITELY laughed out loud when you said to refrain from looking at the interesting things you find....that’s so me. As you said, this all seems very basic, but as you were going through everything I was thinking “that all seems like a LOT of work”. Lol
I have another revolutionary suggestion, that helped me a lot and hopefully could help a lot of you:
If you have a ton of documents, go ahead and scan them using a scanning app on your phone, and then save them onto a Google drive file.
You wanna name the document files something short, simple, and obviously relevant.
Take your time with this. It took me 6 months to abolish the mountains of papers I had. Now, I can find almost any document instantaneously AND I have a full emtpy closet and a lot more space.
Extra tip: also scan and back-up important documents such as your passport. Its always good to have a copy of that in a secure place, and to be able to retrieve its information with your phone.
Smartphones can be so useful in things like these.
Thank you!
Thanks
How do u prevent from account getting getting hacked?(my biggest fear)
Do you change your password every often?
Agreed! Especially when I went through the whole house to find a paper just yesterday... Until I looked in "important stuff" pile. Have been thinking honestly that using Google Drive for storage is a solution, not that I ever actually did it. :( Also, that paper I searched for yesterday, I had converted it in a PDF but I'll need to show the original tomorrow so I'm stuck having to keep some physical papers.
It's easy to make a backup with your phone but I wouldn't leave an identity theft risk on the phone or even in Google drive. Use a USB harddrive. There are phone thumb drives and you can instantly backup photos of documents without leaving them accessible through the internet.
"And if you find something like a photo album, resist the temptation to sit down and look at it while you are organizing." I have been called out. LOL. Great video and I live by the "Place, retrieve, return" mantra when I create spaces for my teams at work. Thanks.
Just the concept of someone being able to just do this without thinking about it 10000 times blows my mind..... 😂🤯
I'm finding that having what I call 'clutter baskets' at strategic points through my house is really helping me with this aspect of my adhd. Putting things away where they came from is sometimes too much so dumping it in a basket in clear view means that I'm A. Less likely to misplace things and when I can focus on cleaning up I can just take the basket and put things back later.
Hey there you might be onto something! I may use this as a first step for helping my issue!
This is self help at its best. Explaining small things that a person CAN do is so much more valuable than rolling out gigantic, seemingly intractable disorders which we often decide are our "hard wiring," therefore become our identity. Mental disorders are mostly a matter of the behavior habits we have developed. Habits can be changed. And I often ask myself: What simpler things CAN I do, in the midst of all these overwhelming problems about which it may seem I can do nothing.
Yes, and it gives one a sense of control which can ease our nerves. 🎉
Label stuff with a sharpie on blue or green masking tape. It removes easily so boxes etc can be relabeled if necessary. I’m in my mid 60s and this strategy has at least given me a fighting chance. For a more permanent label use a labelling machine. It’s a wonderful feeling. Also papers that relate to current projects go into three ring binders, if a page is needed for a phone call, the paper doesn’t get removed from the binder, you simply open up to the right page. That means the paper doesn’t somehow go off for a wander into the stratosphere never to be seen again. My life has been super complicated, dealing with various elderly parents etc; this binder system is what has kept me somewhat sane.
I use clear boxes for most of my storage and slip an index card inside on one of the ends with the contents written on it. I can see the label through the side. But, removable tape also works well, especially if you can't or don't want to be able to see through the box.
Label printers are worth their weight in gold.😀
When you show that garage picture my mind would want to start exploring everything, seeing what's inside the drawers and boxes. I would get lost in distraction.
I don't know how many times I've looked for something only to miss it and have someone else take one look around and find the thing. My partner and I joke about things being "Cleverly concealed in plain view."
Oh my gosh, Dr. Marks! Where have you been all my life?? I love you, lol
That is so me. I lost my computer mouse on my desk the other day and my husband found it right beside where my keyboard was and I couldn't find it. As a child my dad threatened to spank me if he told me to look for something and I didn't find it. Because of the very reason that you said in this video.
Sadly relatable. Somehow not being able to see something that's right there. Also it was wrong for your dad to threaten you.
OMG, :D your comment totally made my day...(laughing with you and empathizing/relating completely)...
I love your series! My partner and I have ADHD, I was diagnosed in my teens, she has struggled her entire life but was never diagnosed because
Wow. I am feeling very proud of myself right now. Without knowing yet that I had ADD, I studied memory systems in college (but I was 36.). I then developed my own 6 month/12 month rule. If I hadn't looked at or used something within that time frame I parted with it...just like you said. Many other strategies you mention I also developed based on learning how memory works. 😊
I have been decluttering for several years now. I wouldn’t sort through things more than 15 minutes at a time. It’s just too overwhelming.
After a few years, I look for one thing every day to declutter.
It really does help.
Thanks for explaining why I’ll be looking straight at something and not seeing it
After watching my now 8yo son struggle with severe ADHD, I started to recognize that I have also struggled with many of the same symptoms my whole life (just without the hyperactivity part). Now I’m realizing it’s been impossible for me to help him because I don’t have my own symptoms under control. As a teacher, this is especially frustrating for me both because I want to teach my son and because when I’m in the classroom my own ADD symptoms cause many issues with consistency and time management. These videos have been very helpful. I’m feeling motivated to tackle several tasks I need to complete to prep for the next school year. If this works, I’ll have some tips for my son, too.
This reminds me of my mom and me. Except she doesn’t understand that even tho she has “managed” her adhd. Her way of life is so hard for me also adhd to follow cause she is adhd and it’s frustrating for me because she says I’m just not trying hard enough or I’m lazy even tho of all people she should understand. But it’s like she’s blind to her own adhd. She constantly looses things and always blames us and yet when we loose things it’s like i need to focus and it’s my and it’s like a problem that has to be fixed even tho she is the same way. I really wish she would listen to me and try to work on her self and her own adhd behaviors that make it harder for me. We are two neruodivergent Brains with completely different gears. She’s found how to live life in with her brain but she gets so tunnel visioned and thinks the way she operates should automatically work for everyone else in the family.
She gets frustrated with me hakf the time because of my adhd, but half the time it she down adhd that has her mishearing or forgetting or misplacing. It’s like she’s blind to herself.
I've just started my journey to learn and manage ADHD as an Adult. I cannot begin to describe how elated I am to find this channel. Thank you for this amazing resource!
I have never in my life felt so understood. Especially with being blind to obvious things, and trying to focus on everything at once because of impatience. It is so nice to hear that this is a valid thing. I have never been officially diagnosed with ADHD, and that has been a huge frustration of mine. I am gonna try again to get a diagnosis next year.
Dr.Tracey, as someone who has struggled with this disorder throughout their childhood and into adulthood I am so thankful for this series and all your videos on the topic. You really are doing amazing work for people like myself who struggle with simple tasks in professional and personal life. Keep up the great work!
If you think it is worth while, could you make a video about some tips for people with ADHD and social anxiety? I am considered a great communicator with my peers and colleagues (at work), but I struggle to commit to any sort of plans or events with people I haven't known for years. I feel like it is hindering my networking abilities, and future opportunities that may be presented. Much appreciation being sent your way.
YES, I struggle with this, too!!
Me too! I watched her video of Avoidant Personality Disorder and man, does that ring a cord. I'm scared to commit to things and timelines. What if I miscalculated and have to adjust and then I have to face the fear of disappointing someone for not making the deadline?...these videos are wonderful. How incredible someone can see through the lens of so many people who feel like they are struggling and communicate in a clear and effective supportive way!
ADHD Tip: How to Stop Losing Your Stuff
:
Have a Home for Everything. One technique is to store items where you typically use them.
Establish Daily Rituals.
Figure Out What You Lose Most.
So true 😻
Agree with everything you said, but if I put things away they dont exist. Therefore I might forget to pay a bill or take my meds, or finish a project if the reminder material is put away (even if it's on my list, wherever that is)! That said, my clutter is driving me crazy, but I dont have patience to dig around and find it. OR I do clean up my coffee table but within a few days its loaded with new stuff. Mostly paper, medicine, stapler, scissors, etc since I work at my coffee table. Trying to do baby steps but it's very hard.
Cynthia Collura - try using your phone calendar and create reminders for paying the bills, for doing errands so in that way you don’t need to leave the papers all over the counter and you can keep things nicer
@@cincycindy13 Pay a bill. Oh Shoot. Thanks for reminding me Cynthia.
@@CaToRi- A Bullet Journal is great for this. (Look for Bullet Journal Tutorial by Ryder Carroll)
"When an object doesn't have a place, think of the place you would look first. That is the thing's home ❤"
Before, your string of thoughts and actions would have been
'I need to do this' -> Not actually doing it -> 'I really need to do this' -> Feeling stronger resistance -> 'I need to do this no matter what' -> Feeling self-remorse
But through relaxation, your action patterns will change as the following:
'I should do this' -> Not actually doing it -> Relaxation -> Feeling lower resistance
In such a way, you break away from the pattern of increasing your level of resistance, and create an opportunity to at least begin the work you need to do.
Nice
Thanks so much Daniel!
This explained EXACTLY WHAT I EXPERIENCE on a daily basis that I had no idea how to articulate!
Thank you!
@@loliluxe6618No problem. If you don't mind, visit my channel.
@@DrTraceyMarks Thank you, Dr. Tracey!
Could you please talk about Rejection sensitive dysphoria? It would be very much appreciated c:
It is ten am on a Sunday and I am being DRAGGED. This Place, Retrieve, Return concept is great...!!!!! Thank you!
I've been experimenting with what I like to think of as task boxes. They're basically just a box with all the necessary things for a commonly done task. I can immediately put all that stuff into the box, and if I don't immediately put the box where it belongs, it's large enough and fast enough to deal with that it's not much of an issue.
It's still an experiment, but it doesn't take me much motivation to put the things into the box that's sitting right next to me. But it does take a little bit to put the box away when I'm done. But, even if I don't put it away immediately, it's still contained and I could put away dozens of them in a short period of time if I had to.
I started this when my kids were little, and I still do it years later. It really worked for me and is one of my favorite ways to be organized.
As with a lot of strategies for ADHD the key is motivation. I believe it helps to see this as strongly tied in to an idea we have of ourselves and would like to project to others. My place was kind of cool but also a bit of a mess until I started to regularly have guests and a particular someone that I wanted to have a good impression of me. Disclosure - this transformation was during a mixed mania episode but it resulted in me being able to get rid of a lot of stuff and then really liking how my flat looks. I get good feedback from this and it completes a circle of motivation. Now if only I could actually make myself reply to their messages and not turn up late for absolutely every meet up. Having meetups at my flat sorted out my being late as I was already there (mostly). I achieved a place for everything and can mostly stick to it although tidying and cleaning can often end up being done as procrastination for something else more important.
Yes motivation is a huge player. Thanks for sharing
I literally prayed to God like today for a video that helped people like me with time management and organization and here you are 🤯
I have self diagnosed autism. Now I'm thinking it's ADHD .I have a terrible time with organization and tidyness. I'll go several days fine,then it all falls apart.
Thanks so much for this video. I have a corner of my room that is my dumping ground. I'm going to spend the time to organize and weed out stuff I no longer need.
A place for everything and everything in it's place!😊
The whole "I'm just going to leave it here so Susie will look at it," 100% my BIGGEST pitfall..EVERY SINGLE TIME. Fantastic video. Thank you.
Honestly this really pointed out some issues I struggle with and it’s very refreshing to hear and see tips that are catered towards people with struggles like mine.
It’s frustrating to try and find tips and advice only to end up getting the nerotypical responses.
But this definitely sounds like the exact kind of state that I’ve been looking for. Thank you so much.
The way she clearly communicates is sooo beautiful 🤩
For all my important papers and stuff I have a big drawer where I make sure I throw everything in it. Even though it's all unorganized at least I know it's in there within the confines of the drawer.
When I was student teaching, I had a set of 4 folders for the day's paper work. Distribute, Copy, Return and Grade. It didn't take much effort to figure out what went where as it was usually pretty clear.
working at a library puts this into great perspective. the catalogue keeps track of where an item is, so if it isnt where its supposed to be, it might as well be gone
It's so weird, I _know_ these things but still just hearing someone saying it to me again makes it more relevant today. Thank you!
Thinking of giving things homes, it helps me to think of my silverware drawer. I never just toss my silverware into the junk drawer or wash them and leave them in a pile on the stove. Why? Because there is a designated "silverware drawer." There's even a little slotted tray with specific places for knives and spoons and forks. The silverware has a home. So I just have to give every object in my house a home, the same way I've done for the silverware.
I am still working on it, and things do sometimes get left out of place, but I have a few useful strategies.
#1 - trays. I have a tray where I put all my scented body products; perfume, lotions, etc. I have another tray where I take my jewelry off at night. I have a small bowl where I put my hair ties. I don't set my perfume down on my dresser because that isn't where it goes.
#2 - hooks. Sometimes the best place for something to live is exactly where I use it. I have hooks on the back of every door in my house. Usually on both sides. I have a hook for my coat and one for my bathrobe. Those are pretty standard... But also, I have hooks to hang up clothes that I have worn but don't need to be washed yet, like blazers or cardigans. I have a hook in every room of my house where I hang my phone. I put hooks up for my husband's hats and even one for the small notebook where we do our monthly budget.
#3 - portable baskets. For items that I don't use in the same place that I store them, I have bins and baskets. A good example of this is my manicure supplies. I have a bin in my bedroom with cotton balls, nail polish remover, nail art brushes, charms, stickers, stamps, and foils. Any time I paint my nails, I pull out the whole bin and take it to the dining room to do my nails. Then I put it all back in the bin when I'm finished and take it back to the bedroom.
And just as important as remembering to put thingX back in its place, is remembering NOT to put thingY in that place. If I wouldn't put pens and pencils into my silverware drawer, why would I put my earrings on the tray where my perfume goes?
The main problem I have is remembering to assign homes to new things and getting out of the habit of leaving certain things lying around. I still struggle with my shoes because I got into the habit of taking them off in the dining room and leaving them on the floor instead of putting them on the rack in my bedroom.
I'm a Registered Nurse of 36 years. You are A SUPERB educator! You get right to the meat on topics with clear easy to understand descriptions and examples. The education, and recommendations within this video are spot on!
Its like you’ve been inside of my brain before. I hate being asked to look for stuff. Its like I have a scanning pattern in my head that I always follow, but I always scan over whats right in front of me. You are wonderful :D
Organizing is so hard because of the time it takes and the overwhelm it brings not knowing where to start. But breaking it down into bite size tasks does help. But also, when finished it really helps. I know exactly where something is and also the visual clutter is gone. Plus just having the things that I actually use help. Purging over the last few years has been a game changer. I’m not into minimalism but do find essentialism to be the perfect balance.
I like the before and after pictures idea, sometime I'll be cleaning/tidying for a while and when I'm done it doesn't feel like I've done much even if I have.
I feel validated knowing why I do the things I do. And also, I feel horrible with my expectations of others in my family that also wrestle with these issues. Thank you for your smart insights. And I like your crisp clear voice and enunciation. It makes me happy to hear you talk.
😂😂😂 I love how you speak on and explain these issues, perfect ❤❤❤
I was sprays a daydreamer in school, “tuning out” because I was bored. Was also the one who did assignments and studied for tests at the last minute. Since I’m “older” no one ever thought to test me for this ( apparently it wasn’t a “ thing” in the 70s). (I was diagnosed at age 53). These ways to cope with ADHD without mee Ed da are very helpful and info for me … thanks for doing them Dr. Marks!!
THANK YOU !! My husband must listen to this , hearing it from a doctor might register in his head .
Organization is the only "ADHD monster" I managed to tame, but I'm very proud of it :D
I started as a teen and was lucky to grow up during a Marie Kondo/minimalism/organization craze and learned a lot. I didn't even know I had ADHD back then, I just knew I was messy and lived with messy parents in a small house. I got so organized that I could call my mom and say "Go to my room, second drawer on my desk, on the left side, box with yellow lid, there's a notepad there, what does it say on the last written page?", ahahaha!
The "organizing space" skill has been seized. Now I need to learn how to organize time (planning/schedule) :) A bit harder, as I can't see 👀 time. I will try to make it more visual (clocks, timers, etc) and go from there :D
Timers and alarms, my friend. Keep a journal with you and write down how long your regular tasks take. Learning that I can mop the whole house in ten minutes, because I set a timer, was an eye opener.
@@azlizzie That requires me to remember to start the timer and also that I manage to do the task without getting distracted and just starting sown thing else 😂 I know so many of the tips and hacks, but it's still a struggle. I'm getting better, tho. I do try to track things and getting a digital watch that allows me to set countdowns is a godsend. I usually get distracted in the shower, for example, but if I set a 10 minute timer in the beginning, it helps me keep a bit more on time. I set if for a lot of things: 5 minutes for my coffee brewing, 10 for rice cooking, 30 to do a task I enjoy but it's not urgent, 45 to solve a problem before taking a break, etc. ☺️
@@MituDjakarian i hear you. Seeing my list isn't the same as being able to start doing any of the things on the list. I nearly always require a body double for boring required tasks.
This is why I got one of those monitor trays for my desk. Besides the spaces for pens, thumb drives and other items, It forms a little "cave" for my keyboard where it can stay when it's not being used. Keeps the desk tidy and gives me space to work.
I love those trays
Something that helped me a lot with the specific example of phone, wallet, and keys, is having a wireless phone charger. My phone is placed there daily, and if I ever need it, I don't have to unplug it, I can just grab it, and return it. My keys hang on a little, brass, butterfly hook and my wallet is set on the table underneath the keys. I have a friend that has a mat in front of the door that says "Phone, Wallet, Keys" to remind her of each on the way out. I love that idea too!
I've been doing place, retrieve, and return for years, before I was aware of adhd, or that I even had it! Glad to know it's a viable strategy.
How did I not know this brilliant woman and her channel existed until today?!
Thanks so much Dani! TH-cam was holding back on you 😀
@@DrTraceyMarks yes! At least I found you now
I’m sooo messy, between having ADD, being a single mom & working my house gets soooooo messy during the week… than I spend the whole weekend cleaning & I never really do anything because of it, which sucks a lot. Another issue I have is keeping my every day things close to me, I have little nooks of all the things I need & use spread out everywhere & it becomes a cluster fuck. Things having their place all over the house & having to retrieve it & put it back after each use sounds like so much work & energy. 😭 Something else I struggle with is memory, when I decide to organize & clean & put things away in a good spot I forget where I put that thing I use & get pissed when I can’t find it or I’ll put something away that I use sometimes & completely forget about it. Finding it weeks later in the spot I put it in. 🤦🏻 it’s so frustrating attempting to be organized & it literally back fires because I “thrive” in chaos. Whenever I want to make things better I’m always cleaning up old messes, so I’m CONSTANTLY in this fucking loop of 1.wanting to organize everything 2.not being able to because I need to clean my disgusting house first 3.being exhausted & mentally drained from cleaning so I don’t want to organize 4.never really getting anything done & saying “fuck it who cares” 5.feeling guilty about all my failures & then repeating this vicious fucking cycle 😭 ugh, I just feel so helpless & hopeless when it comes to be organized & productive.
I feel what you're experiencing…this is me too.
Thank you for your videos. I've been spending the last year actively trying to learn more anout ADHD, because I didn't know I had it until I was diagnosed and started treatment as an adult. Your videos are helpful. I avoided them for a while because the titles would make me feel really embarrassed. I'm a grown woman, and a lot of the things I struggle with are things I feel like I should've figured out by now, or things that only I seem to have a hard time doing. I'm glad I've started watching your videos in spite of the negative mental talk though. I'm starting to recognize how my feelings of shame are/were holding me back from finding realistic solutions. So, again, thank you for your content.
It has always been a running joke about how mommy (me) loses everything... how I get lost in tasks like cleaning closets... how I keep things bc we *may* need them later... how I put off starting breakfast bc I don't feel like doing the dishes that I left from last night's dinner bc I didn't feel like putting away the dishes in the rack bc I have thrown stuff into cabinets for so long (bc it was "faster") that things no longer have a designated spot.... It all feels like a viscous cycle.... these 4 short videos have changed my life.. for no other reason than helped me see that I am not just pure lazy. I never knew there could be an ACTUAL reason for why I have always been this way. Now, to try and start fixing things.
Helpful, not just for people with ADHD but they could be helpful for anyone else. Thank you! ❤️
You're welcome Amelia!
Great tips. I also have a Tile which comes in handy when I can’t find my keys due to the fact that they aren’t on the hook they’re supposed to be on. It makes a loud ringing sound so I can find it. Usually I set them down somewhere and forgot about it, just like you said Dr. Tracy!
Yes, buying a tile and putting it on your keychain is actually a helpful suggestion. Telling someone with ADHD to have a hook for their key is laughable. I’ve had a hook for my key since the beginning of time with every intention of returning it to the hook as soon as I walk in the door. Does that happen? Hell no. Why doesn’t that happen? Because I have ADHD. You really want to improve a person with ADHD‘s life provide them with suggestions that are going to work with their brain instead of telling them to just change the way their brain works.
@@Paula_Shelton Having a hook is definitely not going to work. I'd recommend having a key bowl or similar so that you can just toss it in there when you get home and be done with it. I've rarely had issues misplacing my keys because I tend to just leave them on the closest horizontal surface to the door. Or, back in my pocket.
Better than a hook, but worse than a bowl, would be one of those magnetic bars that idiots use to hold their knives. Dangerous with knives, but quick and convenient with keys.
@@SmallSpoonBrigade A row of hooks at the back of the door works for me - except, of course, when my other half moves the key I need to one of the other hooks, and it becomes invisible.
That's v good advice! I only learned to keep things in the right space through bitter experience, e.g. stuff I need for shopping stays in the shopping bag (a proper canvas bag) at all times, things like cash cards are either in that shopping bag or my jacket pocket, only 2 possible places. I keep little batteries for recharging a mobile phone inside the shopping bag so I'm never let down by flat batteries. None of this comes naturally to me. I'm still one of the most disorganised people I know!
Thank you for this! I am always putting things down "just for a second" and then it gets lost! And I am guilty of "saving things for later." Great advice for my ADHD brains on this video. Thank you, thank you Thank you!
I always set things down absentmindedly while transitioning tasks, I have no idea where cause I'm not thinking about it when I do it. One of the most helpful things I'm currently learning is to recognize when I'm about to engage in something else, look at what I'm holding, & go put them in their place before returning to start the new thing. Wayyyy easier said than done, but it's all about being present & mindfulness exercise helps, even noticing that you failed to notice is a first step to being more aware & intentional with your actions. Good luck to anyone in this comments section !!
I also do thattt, lost so many pens at school because of that.
“Point of Performance”. I use this when deciding how to organize my things. Things go where I am using them. Scissors? I have several (they are cheap, no excuses). One in the kitchen drawer. Two in my home office desk. A few little ones in my bathroom.
I own 9 lint rollers because of this..... Tracy is out there saving us. 🙌 😅 I only got my diagnosis at 40 bc my partner could tell my NP "yeah we don't have doors on the kitchen cabinets and he can't remember what month it is half the time, let alone day.... or his work passwords. Please help." 🙏 😅
Hello Dr. Tracey. Thank you for sharing and caring.
You’re so welcome Robert 😊❤️
I love my psychiatrist but he never gives me tips like this!! Game changer
This is all on point. Especially the part where adhd people do better with tæless stuff. PS peg boards are amazing for adhd. For keys and umbrellas at an entrance. For raft supplies in a craft room. They work better than any other system for things we use every day.
I was never told I was ADHD but my problem is I scatter things everywhere and sometimes hide things, me thinking it will get stolen or it’s in a safer place. But I’ll forget where I put things and take up my day looking for something till I find it.
On the subject of finding things:
Be sure to look IN, BEHIND and UNDER. (Immortal words my mother burned into my brain as a child.)
Also, if your target is unfamiliar, don't assume you know what it looks like. Your brain will filter out anything that doesn't match your assumptions. If your assumptions are wrong, you won't find it even if it's in plain sight.
I do the placing things, and everything, even if it's resting on a large surface, it has a specific place on that surface. This has helped me a lot with not seeing things I'm looking at
I have my share of clutter like all of us, but there are a few items that i need on a daily basis that need to be in the same place all the time.
👍🏽
What ur saying is so obvious but it really helps me understand to hear it out loud from someone else 😅 ADHD has always held me back in this way
Thank you for this. I had a coworker laugh at me b/c I was looking for whipped cream in the stock fridge and couldn't find it. He found 7 cases of it packed in cardboard boxes... I couldn't find it b/c I was looking for the single cannisters on the shelf where they belong, not cardboard boxes. 😂
Very good info. My brain went to organizing daily tasks and I didn't think of this in a literal spacial setting when clicking the video for some reason.
I forget where I put things all the time. I've gotten better though. There's only 4 things I have to remember: my glasses, my keys, my phone and my wallet. When I first get in the house I make sure I put them all on the stand before I do anything else. Sounds simple to most people, but if I don't I can easily lose them forever. And I'll go crazy trying to find them.
Dr. Tracey Marks…I think you might just be the GOAT 🤔🔥🎯
Deciding what to keep is minor compared to where it should be kept. I've been a disorganized hoarder with treasures hidden in the clutter. When searching for something, especially when I just sat it down, I think of a picture of what I'm looking for. It's like a magic trick when the lost object appears in front of my eyes when it would have been obvious to anyone else.
coming from someonewho lives with this disorders this has been very helpful
Wow this is me. I've spent years developing places for things, and teaching myself to leave things in certain places, so I can find them again, so that I don't have a cluttered home from keeping things out to find them again. I used to have that EXACT same conversation with my ex, about finding things in for her.
Bless this Lady 🙏🏻 she’s doing Gods work
This woman is a savior!
Never, ... be afraid to say, "Wait, I need to focus, ADHD here ... trying to _____." Lol That's only helpful so that distracting folks around you can chip in and show understanding by helping you focus, think, look around, etc...
A place for everything, and everything in its place.
God bless you Dr!! 💗 Even when Walmart is 100 times bigger than my house, I can find things easier at the store but not in my house. My ADD husband is always misplacing things and he can’t remember even minutes later where he left them. So lately, I’d rather go to the store and buy things again instead of a wild goose chase in my house that will take me hours without any luck
Another one: While you try to find THE place for a thing, also think of how hard / many steps it takes to put the thing back in it; because this will make it (too) hard to put it back, so you just won't.
Example: I hate nesting dishes or cooking ware stuff. It only gives you heavy big stacks, that are uneasy to handle for clumsy people - my mom had pans, casseroles, pots and all in Cupboards, nested and in 2-3 rows. Imagine getting out that one bowl - 1. taking out the stacks of pots, bowls, plates that were in the way. 2. taking out the stack were the bowl was in, taking the bowl out of it's stack 3. put all the other stacks back into the cupboard. // and again for placing it back to its designated place.
my plastic storage containers for food are now all free floating in a real big bin thats hidden in a cupboard. Rummaging through this bin to find what I want is completly fine with me, and for putting it back it just flyes into the bin and I'm done.
Hey Dr. Tracey can you please do a video on Maladaptive Daydreaming. I have been suffering with this for months now. I find myself daydreaming and pacing for hours and hours. Maladaptive daydreaming doesn't get much attention. only in the movie "The secret Life Of Walter Mitty. I have a whole character in my head and when I'm sad my character is sad. and when Im happy, my character is happy. A whole different life in my head that I go back to every single time. Maladaptive daydreamers have suffered trauma and have just felt like they weren't good enough for this world, so they created a world in their head where everyone loves them and they're unstoppable. Maladaptive daydreaming is my way of Coping with life. Luckily for me I can control mine and tell myself to stop.. but others cannot ... Please talk about it. if you can. Thank you.
Excellent videos
Wish I had known of my problem as a child
Thanks so much
I absolutely need this skill ... Thank you 😊.
You are very gifted and patient your gift is a God given and its a skill that most ppl lack especialy those that are intelligent and accurate.
Thank you so much 😊❤️
True. Its take a lot forca person to understand the cause of another persons behavior. Its possible if they do experience it. My assumption would be a God inspirire because even though ppl may knw anout something but because it is not in them they would bot be patient enough.
If all this information is researched it had to involve a lot of wisdom behing. Trust me Ive had many experienced explained in your videos but I could not express what I was feeling hence I was always worried. Thank you for reaching to us about mental issues health because its a serious issue that affects a person a lot.❤❤❤
thank you a lot. ide like to add that i really like the ones with no music because i can full screen it and its a lot more through in the way that i can and do remember it.
Airtags are a flat out godsend on my keys, and in each backpack, each backpack is packed for a specific task with an inventory list. I have a phone wallet so that makes 2 items become 1 and i can call my wallet to find it. I have car and house keys semi permanently attached to my backpack so i don’t lose them. Everything having a place is extremely helpful. Thank you so much for these videos.
Thank you Dr Marks. For keeping it real