guy pickup artists tell guys they need to pretend they're busy... girl pickup artists tell girls to pretend they're busy... the ideal couple NEVER sees each other ever
Men are ALREADY are obsessed with me. One time these men banged on my door and were like: “ma’am we’re here to arrest you for three counts of wire fraud”. Not only that, they also put HANDCUFFS around my wrists. I was like, we’re not that far into our relationship. They were obsessed Edit: thanks to everyone who helped me figure out that they are toxic. This was a total red flag, I’ll tell them to back off tomorrow. Update: I am currently in solitary confinement. This was not the outcome I was expecting. Kinda kinky if I do say so myself…
SAME, like it doesn’t matter abt looks or making them obsessed or trying to make them spoil me, if they are nice to me I’ll like them and just ask them out 😭😭
I'll side with the woman in that case, because there is far more sax-trafffffficking than there is fake reddit findom shit but if dumb men want to give their live savings to losers nothing I say will stop them, but I hope women can be convinced not to move to Romania.
It's terrifying how these are actual textbook abuse tactics, and some of the people promoting them aren't even afraid to call them manipulative, as if manipulation isn't an awful thing that can cause trauma and long-term damage to a person
Finally someone is mocking this "be interesting by acting uninterested" garbage. Seriously. Met way too many women who acted incredibly rude only to then turn around and confess their crush when drunk. As if them being friendly somehow makes us think less of them ..
Men do it as much as women. Which is odd to me. For centuries women were taught that being passive was feminine and men naturally take the lead. But men never were told that. It wasn't charming when women did it so why do men think it's gonna work for them.
@@acegikm Absolutely not. Hard disagree. Also - men do naturally take the lead. We knew all that for generations and it worked pretty fine. Problem is that in our cultural climate, we are shamed and punished for it, yet women still rely on us risking rejection because they themselves tend to be too afraid. It's not an accident that this generation is the most self-sexualizing, yet the one having the least amount of sex. It's a bed women make themselves. A bit late to complain about that and also a bit lame.
expressing your feelings openly is a vulnerable position to put yourself in, people act this way to protect themselves from the pain of potential rejection. it's not a good strategy, social interaction always comes with a risk, but this behaviour has its reasoning behind it
@@acegikm I don't think that most men who do that do it to be manipulative. It's probably more to protect our egos or the stability of a friendship by not "letting the cat out of the bag." Personally, I'd rather just assume that my infatuation is unrequited than deal with the messiness and pain of my feelings making someone else uncomfortable.
I don’t want many men to be obsessed with me. I want one man in his right mind to share a loving relationship with. We’ll simultaneously build each other up and hold each other accountable.
This is literally the premise of all good relationships, perhaps most obviously with regards to dating. But people really do be out here making content "about"... "dating"; they're not coming at it from the angle of being interested in people but almost from the mindset of overthinking a sport or a videogame. Waste of their limited time on this earth and almost certainly a waste of any audience's, as well.
It melts my icy heart to see menstrual cups as sponsors, it means they’re finally mainstream. I’ve been using them since 2010 and I had to buy it on eBay because they didn’t sell them anywhere else.
@@absolutelyridiculous6743 that's okay, they look enormous but the new ones are very very flexible and can become as small as a tampon. The original one I used was very stiff and was _not easy_ to use. There's so many to choose from these days that are very friendly, just make sure it's medical grade silicone :) I take magnesium to reduce menstrual cramps during my period, along with a menstrual cup, I barely notice my period anymore.
I want to have a woman who takes these tik toks seriously and a man who watches the sigma male pages go out on a date. And I want to observe them interacting like I'm Jane Goodall
@@lefu87williford55 I know they mean something like that but it's just funny to see the word obsession being thrown around. I wouldn't go out of my way to hate on someone who does it but it makes me giggle
Yeah, obsession in the literal sense tends to be creepy, traumatizing, and if you're really unlucky it can culminate in violent crime. I know that's not what they're talking about (not to say the stuff they are talking about is healthy or okay), but I was kind of uncomfortable with that term being used.
As a straight(ish) man, the best advice I can give to straight girls is just make it obvious that you're interested. A lot of men are anxious about making a move for various reasons, giving them a clear green light makes our end of things so much easier.
The phrase “girlbossify manipulation” is now part of my vernacular. Thank you ChadChad for your service, you brave Modern Day Knight TM of the internet
I genuinely hate how normalized and even romanticized “obsession” is. as someone who gets obsessed very quickly and easily and struggles with overcoming obsessions it’s infuriating. it’s not cute, REAL obsession ruins relationships and makes it hard to live your day to day. very much not fun or dreamy to live with.
Are you familiar with the term 'limerence'? Idk, discovering the concept and being able to name it when experiencing it really helped me. Sincerely hope things get better for you, must've been rough sometimes
She said it perfectly!!!! The “men’s advice” channels do the exact same thing: “work on yourself, go to the gym, immerse yourself in work and hobbies, invest your money and then the girls will be all over you and you can get a girlfriend” wouldn’t you want your own genuine life (not a contrived one in order to attract someone) so you’re not depending on that eventual relationship for all of your needs in an unhealthy way?
@@vladys5238 it’s the motivation that’s being criticised. You should have hobbies and work on yourself for your own sake. If it’s stuff you only did to attract a partner and you find one, that lack of self-value is still present. It could also lead to feelings of entitlement to relationships, which can be harmful. It could lead to feelings of resentment and disappointment if you don’t meet a partner, undermining the positivity that these improvements should bring to your life. It can undermine your platonic relationships if you are making friends as primarily a means to meeting a partner. The advice to try new hobbies and exercise is good. But the toxic mentality being attached to these things is worthy of the criticism. Not getting away from that toxic mentality can also lead people to fall back into old patterns, potentially, even if they seemed to be doing things that should improve their lives.
Chad Chad's Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss skit/edit lives rent free in my head whenever I hear anyone use those words regardless if it's being used properly or comically 😂
I love how men's advice is: stop texting her. women's advice: stop texting him. It's literally a prisoner's dilemna on both ends, trying to figure out who's gonna be the most toxic.
I wonder if these puas, men and women, were the type of people to be more clingy and obsessive with responses which their dates pointed it out. Now they think all the opposite gender is like that when really its people in general.
As someone with ADHD, I can confidently say that texting someone and then not responding for a long period of time is not going to make them obsessed with you. It’s just going to make them annoyed. Be nice and don’t ghost people ❤
When I don't hear a reply back after a couple hours after the date, just to even try to set up another one or to see if they would even be interested in another one. So I give up. I stopped dating because every guy I went out on a date with just ended up ghosting me. I don't know what I do wrong or if I'm just really that disgustingly ugly that no guy could ever find me attractive. It's to the point where even if I find a genuine guy, I wouldn't believe him about his feelings because I would assume he was lying. I was even looking for a friends with benefits situation and still nothing. Which tells me that there is something wrong with me. And I don't know what. I have tried everything from being myself to not being myself. And then to try to get them to talk to me would be impossible! Only one date ever went well and he admitted to me of being a molester. But he was a teenager so it's fine! UGH! And I listened to his story, mostly because I was in shock but also took into consideration that he was being up front and honest. But that's when he said that he was a kid and did that. It wasn't until the end of the dinner when he told me his actual age of 17. But he said that it was because someone molested him and that he didn't know better. I don't know. It just made me feel too uncomfortable and I could NEVER have or even raise children with him after admitting to me how it's ok to sexualize children. I never spoke to him after that. You tell me how you molested your cousin and then say how it's ok to sexualize children because that's the way of the world? NO NO NO! Children are innocent and need to be protected from monsters like him! Ugh, I feel so disgusted even going through the entire date instead of just getting up and walking out. And it was going so well too. The first date I ever had where the guy didn't run off almost immediately from the first site of me. Sorry if this was a little confusing to read, I tried cleaning it up but I'm getting heated again just thinking about him and how disgusting he was!
@@wintermoon7003 A good filter is to date friends of friends, kind of insurance they are not creepy guys like this one (this guy should not be roaming street omg). It seems you are not ready for dates, and that you commit self-sabotage. You describe yourself harshly, and you overanalyze your behaviour - maybe when sitting at the table it's not a dialogue of 2 but 3 persons : You, him and your internal dialogue. This is off-putting like hell ! Take the time - surround yourself with friends that don't want to date you - and the gained confidence will put you in the correct state of mind to not get hurt ! Wish you all the best !
A quote from a man on a podcast that fits this perfectly, "If you play hard to get, you'll be hard to want." This man has his head on right with this quote. Men want honesty, loyalty, and genuine interest, not this manipulative bullshit. I also came across a guy whose girlfriend started doing this shit to him, so he did back to her and she started crying and begging him to take her back when he broke up with her over it. She told him she had been given bad advice, but he didn't take her back because the relationship was fine until she decided to follow this bullshit, tik tok advice. That is how to lose a man, not make one obsessed with you.
i love how modern dating advice is basically “exhibit narcissistic tendencies, they’ll FALL for you.” they might. or they might see you as self centered and unable to foster a genuine connection.
It’s funny cause the people this shit actually works on is exactly the type of people no one wants to be in a relationship with: insecure stalker turbo creeps who have nothing else going on in their lives and thus have time to be “obsessed” with a girl. Any marginally sane person, man or woman, doesn’t have time for these bs games. Just be a decent person with something to bring to the table- something other than manipulation.
I am just afraid of vulnerable young men and women out there...they are gonna endure all those narcissistic crap because their self-esteem is worn down into crumbs thinking they don't deserve better....even being single is better than manipulation....then it becomes a cycle...after breaking up they are filled with anger and find prey the exact same way thinking all men/women are the same might as well manipulate them to get what they want just like how everything was taken from them....what a sad world
I like the addendum to "absence makes the heart grow fonder" i think it is from Vsauce with the words "Absence makes the heart grow fonder, just like a fire is nurtured by the wind, but a candle will be blown out" because if someone is testing the waters and instead of showing interest back you ghost them no wonder they got a girlfriend or boyfriend in the meantime.
how to make someone obsessed with you: 1) emotionally manipulate them into being obsessed with you or are too scared to not pretend to be obsessed with you 2) blackmail them into dating you 3) commit tax fraud
I hate how some people don't treat obsession as an actual, real problem but more like a "tee hee cute quirk".There were people that were killed by other people that had an obsession for them...
It's for stupid people to flirt with obsession. They seem to use it for infatuation rather than understanding how dark obsession can get. Limerance is similar to obsession but doesn't involve approaching the person in reality. But that is also as destructive.
Also they don't realize how pathetic they are. If you respect the guy so little and he's that stupid, what does it say about you, investing so much time, energy and research into keeping him around?
Yeah, obsession, or another type of unhealthily bond you can have with others... codependency are both seriously horrible things for people to be in. You can have just as much and honestly a lot more passion with healthier forms of desire/love. People see wanting others out of jealousy, envy, or FOMO & just because other's want them as bad for the perpetrator seeking out a relationship with the object of desire in the long term but most people turn a blind eye to obsession & codependent relationships since its a lot more complex & under the surface to understand why its so bad to seek out love stemming from this.
being honest when I say these mindgames and peoples obsession with… obsession completely ruined my last relationship for me. my partner wanted me to be unhealthy obsessed with them and then got upset when i didn’t. remember, it’s not healthy to obsess over people - you should seek for mutual respect and care for one another in a relationship instead of emotional dependency.
On the flip side, I consider it a huge red flag if a guy obsesses over me. Any disregard for my boundaries or display of jealousy is a deal breaker. A person who obsesses over you never really sees you as the human you really are.
Ooof now that you mentioned it I had the same issue with my ex, he wanted me to read his mind and be jealous (yuck) and he cut all ties with all his friends and wanted to spend all his time with me and now I know I was scared of him but then I thought he must be right and I probably just didn’t know how to love
@@hypatiakovalevskayasklodow9195 My ex did the exact same thing. I think people develop an unhealthy ideal of what a relationship is and get mad when you don’t fit into that ideal they made up.
@@vihmaussivenitaja it mkes me wonder---what eads to this-like some disorders but dont you understand its terribleespecially if you get upset after lie 2 seconds of though-
@@vihmaussivenitaja 100%! Obsession is scary. I'm thinking of men forcing you to stay inside instead of going out with your friends and exes who stalk you when I think of obsession. No sane girl or woman wants that.
That “pleasure and pain” one is literally how Stockholm syndrome forms. Extreme violence or pain and then a sudden break from it, makes the victim psychoanalyse the captor and learn their triggers.
This is exactly what bullying was like for me. My classmates would mock me, insult me & then the day after would treat me like a "friend" (this happened for like 6-7 years but it got worse as the years went by). People don't realize that abuse is a REAL thing and if someone is willing to use these "tricks" to find a partner....then THEY ARE an abuser!
In 2009, the episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The D.E.N.N.I.S system aired. 14 years later, random people on TikTok promote more or less the exact same system as a TV psychopath, unironically as dating advice. What a time to be alive.
As a man, i can confirm that there is literally nothing more appealing to me than being gaslighted, made to feel inferior and never feeling secure in a relationship. Nothing screams "this is the one" like being manipulated 24/7 by the person you rely on the most. Oh, an please make your man a cheese sandwich, cause theese times are particularly rough for men i decided.
"Yes she hit me but I swear there were good parts.... even though she told me there were none and all her happiness was acting and nothings made her more miserable" 🥴
As a woman, same. Isn't it funny how many women and men are advising both our sides to just be incredibly toxic to each other? It's almost like the real division is sincere humans, versus garbage excuses for people who think manipulation is the only way to get a partner.
I honestly hate how dating has been made to be like a stupid game to toy with people instead of the actual process of meeting and getting to know all kinds of different people.
guess that's what happens when we don't get therapy and hurt people in the dating process. the hurt people don't want to get hurt again and they also get angry at having been wronged. so they go on to hurt more people in an attempt to keep themselves emotionally safe. and then those people go on to hurt other people.
Same. Like how being able to attract someone is literally called game. It feels like we're all just playing mind tricks on each other and manipulating someone to see you in a specific light. "Don't say this! Say this instead! Do this! Wear this color to attract someone!" I hate how we can't even be genuine anymore. We just act out a script until we're in a relationship long enough to drop the facade. It's very sad.
people are treating relationships like a dating sim nowadays... only acting based on certain rules and not because you want someone to love you for your true self
the first guy i ever "dated" was actually obsessed with me and it ended up sending him into a deep depression which he blamed on me. sooo i'd say obsession is not something you wanna strive for
@@wenisdead6829 maybe some introspection into how you treat and communicate with other people would be useful lol . i know theres a lot of dudes out there who get obsessed easily but if its everyone honey ,,, maybe youre the problem
@@wenisdead6829 Honestly i think its also how you treated the guy in the relationship. Usually guys who act like that only act like that because they had sex with the girl and they have no other way of obtaining sex, so they get obsessed with you. Its the guys that have multiple sleeping partners that never get emotionally obsessed with one woman. Literally the only reason why a guy would be obsessed over you is if youre his only form of physical attention, sex, emotional attention, etc. Average men have a really hard time getting sex or just a decent girl, but average women can score a guy that makes six figures. Its been like this all throughout human history all over the whole world.
@@iwatchtoomuchyoutube "affective" means relating to emotions, while "effective" means producing a desired result. So yes the correct word would be effective
@YourLocalDemon it has a couple different uses based on context I believe. For instance if I hit a chair, that's the affect. The chair falling over is the effect. That's the way I understand it anyway. So in simple terms an affect is an action and the effect is the result of said action.
Idk if a woman I like seems completely disinterested in me I'd get sad and anxious and eventually give up on the relationship, that's not the same as obsession. I'm not going to stick around forever when I'm obviously not wanted. While on the other hand if a woman I like DOES seem really interested and makes me feel confident and happy, I have a HUGE incentive to do the same for her to lift her up too, and to try and keep the relationship going since I'd have the impression that things are going great for both of us.
To all girls reading this: Show him you're interested, tell him you like him and show him that you care. (Also make sure he treats you with kindness and respect)
As a guy, yes!! Thank you! And especially as someone on the autism spectrum, thank you! I’m so sick of people playing games and making things so complicated
@@robertbeisert3315lol as a guy I have seen no denographic as thick headed as women. I've asked a girl on a date, been invited to her apartment, danced with her and then witnessed her shock at my making a move. I've had all her friends telling a girl I liked her because it was so obvious and her still not believing it. My friends' anecdotes are even wilder. I'm sorry, this is not a gender thing
Personally I think this is a big win for feminism, since all of these tiktok accounts prove that not only men but also women can recieve dogshit dating advice from psychos online.
And they're strangely similar. Same love bombing, same creeping touch, same push-pull strategies. They even use the same lingo. "High quality" men are seeking "high quality" women and vice versa. Thankfully I don't belong to either group so I'm safe from them
I once dated someone that was treated badly by his mother and he felt uncomfortable with my kindness, for him it was some sortof 'silence before the storm.' One day I complimented him on working out a lot and he said; 'No, you're supposed to tell me that I have to do better. You have to be more strict with me.' I said; 'Why is that my job, I'm not your coach..'and he said; 'No, but you are my girlfriend. I want you to tell me to stop eating certain unhealthy -fast- foods and tell me to work out more.' So I said; 'Well, I don't mind motivating you, so..alright...what do you say we stop buying those chicken-and-saté-packages for the microwave?' He said; 'You can't tell me what to do!' I said; 'But you just-' He screamed; 'Don't tell me how to live my life!' and ran to the fridge to demonstratively eat the chicken right in front of my face. So, in hindsight, I think he was being rebellious to be able to overcome the lack of rebel-situations in his past with his mom. It wasn't the weirdest moment in our relationship and not the only moment he confused me with his mother, sadly. I hope he found a way (without damaging others) to move past this, like *Therapy.*
Cis white man here... "Be his support system, living life as a man in today's society can be difficult sometimes" had me laughing so hard I nearly choked on my vodka soda 😂😂😂
8:24 I know we’re all having fun here but I’m pretty sure this lady’s “pleasure/pain” system is also know as ‘love bombing’ and is an emotional abuse tactic.
oh my god I didn't know what you meant until a few moments after reading this comment I saw that lady in the video and you're so right, she absolutely is talking about love bombing and I know it's something sociopaths do for example
don't worry Lydia, you sound like an awful insufferable person that i wouldnt want to be around to begin with! So don't break your back fending off men is what i am saying. Good day!
Just a correction: Common poison meds from the colonial times (John Adams times) were opium and mercury. When it came to babies they probably would have given them opium. Mercury was also very common in colonial America. It was usually only given to adults because it was prescribed most commonly for melancholy (depression and other mood disorders) and syphilis. Conditions that are not associated with children.
A girl I once dated showered me with compliments, made the first move, texted me constantly, and told me she liked me. We're now engaged and have a son.
In Stardew Valley you can give only two presents per week, just like you should text your love interest only twice a year. Gotta keep their water supply dry 😊
Twice a year, gosh they are going to think you are desperate. It's twice every 2 years. In fact don't even text them, just follow them on social media I like their post once every blue moon. That will get their attention for sure!
You text your love interest? No thats being so desperate. You gaslight them into texting you and leave them on read. That's a surefire way to make sure they will always come back
'Limerence' is a state of romantic infatuation, and a condition that can be hard to discern as it presents in a very similar expression to falling in love. In reality, it’s a multi-stage process of projecting unmet needs onto another person. One that’s rooted in trauma often related to the relationship between primary caregivers in childhood which results in developmental issues, manifesting as insecure attachment styles.
how to make your crush obsessed with you 1. be really nice to them 2. make them laugh 3. have them enjoy spending time with you 4. don’t pressure them into a relationship, if they reciprocate then cool! otherwise you’ve just made a really great friend which is also awesome
As a disabled male who has never been loved by a woman in capitalism because of the profit motive, I can tell you easily that it is like this: 1. Be rich. 2. Be rich. 3. Be rich. 4. Be rich. 5. Oh, and be famous. Because I know dozens of disabled males in my 34 years and the only two that got married are the two that got somewhat decent full time jobs somehow. Oh, and their wives DEFINITELY don't respect them.
To make men obsessed with me, I don’t use my hand to pick up my drink at all. I just bite the rim of the cup and tilt my head back to drink. Works like a charm.
tbh this would make me ‘obsessed’ with someone if I saw them doing this, not in a romantic way just I would Have to be that persons friend lmfao ask them if they’re okay hdjdjsjs
The fact that all these tiktok creators promote abusive and manipulative “dating advice” worries me about how many teens and young adults are going to take it at face value and actually apply it to their real-life love lives.
yeah I actually see it a lot. I was a high school senior when tiktok was first getting really big and I remember the freshmen unironically acting like this
This video WORKS!! I now have 10 men absolutely obsessed with me, trying to get me to notice them with their flashing lights and loud noises after I left that bank a little bit ago. It's like, come on, there's only one of me!!
They all say they want a man who's obsessed with them but when someone is banging on their door at 3am and sending them angry text messages because they saw two shadows through the curtains, its all of a sudden no longer cool to have someone obsessed with you. Obsession is not just a strong love ffs.
As a psychology student I can confirm the last one is true, all 4 years of education we have learned how to hold pens, glasses and other stuff too😌 Our teachers even know how to hold books😲 I hope to be like them one day🥺
I was with this one girl for a bit, she always ignored me and when she talked to me, she was talking about herself and how hot she was, expecting me to agree. I broke up with her not long after, wondering where she got the idea to do all she did and what she thought would happen. These Tik toks have allowed me to understand her… It did not work. The real way to someone’s heart is making them feel loved and special, be kind and don’t manipulate or ignore.
The first time I heard about these techniques was in a self defense class, and it was a very serious topic that we were taught to catch early on in relationships- the fact that this information is so casually being spread around and encouraged is insane. Also, as someone who does obsess very easily and has had multiple very painful relationships due to people not responding, I hate that that’s being advertised as okay😭
Well self defense is keeping yourself safe, yes that can include fighting in cas e you are in danger, but you also have to recognize WHEN you are in danger or when a situation has the potential to get dangerous. As well as keeping yourself safe mentally and emotionally- abuse and assault statistically happens the most on relationships with people you trust like family friends and partners, so part of self defense is being able to recognize when someone is a person you have to defend yourself from: ie people you are in a relationship with that are using textbook manipulation tactics on you.
@@on_spikes6867 some of these strategies can be used to detect major red flags early on…although i believe that the technique on itself is looking for behavior like the one these tiktoks are encouraging, not doing it yourself cause obviously it’s a bad thing
Women are taught to: 1) Manipulate men 2) Hate men (like we’re supposed to be fragile, evil, earn more for less work, toxic masculine etc. etc.) If course you’ll cause women to turn bisexual or just hate men because they cannot stand us except by being manipulative. The last thing women need is more manipulation skills.
If someone I liked started ignoring me, I would most likely and subconsciously start distancing myself from them and cease contact altogether. It wouldn't make me obsessed, just confused and sad, but I would eventually move on. Speaking from experience.
Yeah same. I've had phenomenal role models in my parents and friends, so when a girl starts to play these games I feel disgusted and amused at the same time at her cruel naivete. Occasionally, one slips by and I realize later than I would have liked, then a short period of confusion and sadness follows and I say adios
Yup. I’d abort mission immediately. I think I chased one or two guys back in my early 20s who played these mind games, & it sucked. A lot. It made me feel like shit. So I stopped thinking “mind games=solid relationship potential”. The last guy who tried that, by the time he eventually called me again, I’d started seeing a guy who actually ACTED like he liked me, & didn’t play games.
yeah, I'd feel like I must've done something wrong or upset them, or that I'm too annoying and too much for them, if they ignored my I'd start distancing myself as well, no matter how much I love someone I couldn't handle that happening repeatedly lmao
Chad Chad hits the spot when she says "stop overcomplicating things... there's too many rules", like, I'm autistic and I'm already perplexed at the superfluos amount of implicit rules of every single social interaction. Also, I think overcomplicating things for the sake of it has a name, it's called being neurotic.
as another autistic person, I kinda like rules because otherwise i feel like i don’t know what i’m supposed to do😫 except for the fact that you’re supposed to just know all these “rules” without anyone ever telling you what they are😔
@@yungguattari4924 1. Gay. 2. You misspelled superfluous. 3. Ideological involvement is cringe; be Anarch. 4. Autists are perfectly capable of learning complex and intricate rules. You got this. Treat it like exercise; progressive overload is the key to improvement. Start by spending 5 minutes a day talking to strangers. Yes it's scary. I don't know why, but your monkey brain will be screaming at you the whole time as if you're standing on a cliff. This is fine; you'll get used to it. Once you can hold brief conversations with strangers without coming across as weird/creepy/retarded, a lot of doors open up for you. When you're interacting with people, remember that listening is just as important a component as talking. Now, to autists like us, that implies that you should pay attention to their words. Wrong! The words hardly matter at all; just pay attention to the emotions they are conveying with body language, etc. and act accordingly.
@@rawrostar Guattari being my uncle is more like a joke but also intellectual heritage /jk ... but yeah, noticing how dumb it is has helped a lot to stop feeling awkward at social situations hahaha
Maybe I’m just autistic, but dating doesn’t seem that hard? I picked a cute person who made me happy, and then I was nice to her and did my best to make her happy. Five years later we’re going on our second wedding anniversary.
Good for you, but you just got extremely lucky, and I can't even emphasize how lucky. I did the same with ~9 girls now and still no luck. Try a lottery next time
@@jirivlk9862 maybe some self-reflection is in order. What went wrong? Were your values not aligned? What did they say about why the relationship ended? Why do you think the relationship ended?
Wow! So lucky. That’s awesome. For some people tho, they want to have passion, not just think they’re cute, but tho k they’re a literal goddess in looks… why am I saying this. I want someone who actually likes me.
As a female, the way I like to attract men is to insult their life styles and burn everything around them that could ever cause them joy in life unless its focused on me. ❤
How to make a man or maiden or enchanting mystical unfathomable being be obsessed with you: 1.Dont listen to alpha males 2.Dont listen to tiktok 3.Watch Chad Chad
In general just be who you are, don't try being something you're not just because it's trendy and that's what others tell you to do. Spread love in your way, love is good.
I started holding my cups the way that Levi from AoT holds his back in 2014 and I still do it to this day so honestly, that girl should up her cup holding game
The desert metaphor that person was talking about is lovebombing, which is used to manipulate people in abusive relationships. People will basically manipulate their partner to be excited about any little tidbit of affection, so that it’s easier to win them back over when they’re being abused. Just the smallest bit of affection makes the person feel like they’re getting to return to the start of the relationship when they were with this seemingly perfect person who made them feel like royalty. It’s one of the most common techniques that abusers use, and it’s awful that people are teaching people on the internet (probably mostly teens) how to do it.
@@lorayjay7125 ding ding ding. thus is narcissistic behaviour. both men and women are capable of behaving this toxic but this is more of the female version of this.
It’s funny because people associate love bombing with BPD, but as someone with it, I can’t even imagine doing it because I feel so genuinely for the people I care about and always try to do my best to make them feel as good as possible. Whereas my mom, who is a narcissist (and the reason why I have BPD lmao) is the master of love bombing.
I was raised to be wary of compliments since nobody in my family compliments each other so I have a huge contempt for ppl that do it to me unless it’s like super sincere and there’s a logical reason behind it
As a married man, I can confirm that emotional abuse and manipulation is how she got me. It's a solid strategy. EDIT: Just to be clear, my wife is incredible and taught me what love actually is lol EDIT EDIT: My wife did not put me up to this, I am doing this of my own free will. EDIT EDIT EDIT: Please help me. She has a baseball bat and a thirst for husband abuse.
@@conquistadorrocket well my advice here is generally to seem less insecure you need to hold the water bottle upside down yell ooogaaaa boogaaa and like beat pacman then any man Will be instantly obsessed with you
Now I think about it, wouldn't a sexier way to hold a cup be at the bottom, with pinkie finger underneath? She was holding it normally both times and I couldn't tell the difference.
The ones that basically tell you to have your own life aren't that bad. There is worse advice you could give a teenage girl who doesn't like herself and thinks her self worth is dependent on a man than "You should have friends and interests independent of any romantic relationship."
@@spiritualsnail1584 Does it though? Straight girls want boyfriends, that's just how it works lmao, yes they want to know how to make that happen. 💀 If anything it's a direct counter to the toxic "sexual competition" narrative that a lot of people spread. Like, nobody really even implied that having a boyfriend was the source of worth, they said self worth is the source of a boyfriend, which is inarguably true.
@@spiritualsnail1584 eh, depending on who's watching, that might be the best way to get through to a kid. Some young teens get really obsessed with being in a relationship and can't let it go. I don't think it's the best message, but there are worse things than tricking teenage girls into pursuing their interests and building healthy friendships.
@@Kfroguari dont know if the intention of that woman was to trick little girls into becoming independent. Thats a huge assumption. Ive met people like that and they genuinely want to make themselves appear interesting and wanted (thus they create a social group fawning over them) in order to attract more admirers. They dont even hide this, a girl i met and got close with literally told me she did this and that she just life hacked “men”. Of course this is also my own assumption but given that those women in the videos live off off date coaching and tutorials on how to make men obsessed with u im gonna say my assumption seems closer to reality
@@meli1872 I'd still say it's on the more harmless end of online dating advice. Getting hobbies, friends, a career, interests, make it more likely that the person will end up at the "I don't actually need a romantic partner to be fulfilled and happy" conclusion independently
why do you never pin any comments
Got their ass
Skill issue
Yeah, why?
Yeah, why?
@@daniellecandy4426what
guy pickup artists tell guys they need to pretend they're busy... girl pickup artists tell girls to pretend they're busy... the ideal couple NEVER sees each other ever
😂
Why get to know each other when you can just avoid looking at them with work
Grind baby, you are in it to be a boss not a bosom mate.
I guess I've been in a comited relationship for years now huh
ive been married for 69 years and i still dont know who im married to
@@SigFigNewton thank you!
Men are ALREADY are obsessed with me. One time these men banged on my door and were like: “ma’am we’re here to arrest you for three counts of wire fraud”. Not only that, they also put HANDCUFFS around my wrists. I was like, we’re not that far into our relationship. They were obsessed
Edit: thanks to everyone who helped me figure out that they are toxic. This was a total red flag, I’ll tell them to back off tomorrow.
Update: I am currently in solitary confinement. This was not the outcome I was expecting. Kinda kinky if I do say so myself…
Omg. And they didn't even buy you dinner first? RUDE
@@Garsnoos ikr, so obsessive
Omgg they need to slow down lol
Oh my god, so obsessed with you, girl. Did they get a cage for you too? Lol.
Yass queen! Slay...from prison. I heard those shanks are lethal. Slayyy!
Ok maybe im autistic but dating someone is literally just 1. Find nice person 2. Be good to nice person 3. Ask them out 4. Congrats you did it
fantastic take
all my friends who do date agree with you (and only some of them are autistic)
SAME, like it doesn’t matter abt looks or making them obsessed or trying to make them spoil me, if they are nice to me I’ll like them and just ask them out 😭😭
@@moon772 like my requirements are Be nice to me and my family, Be a good person
Great! This has been my strategy so far as well!
the pleasure/pain ocean water/desert girl is literally describing "love-bombing" which is not just "manipulative" as she's called it, it's abusive 🙃
its also a tactic used to get people to join cults, part of the BITE model
💯
It's literally a tactic used by cults.
"How to make your partner love you; abuse them"
I'll side with the woman in that case, because there is far more sax-trafffffficking than there is fake reddit findom shit but if dumb men want to give their live savings to losers nothing I say will stop them, but I hope women can be convinced not to move to Romania.
It's terrifying how these are actual textbook abuse tactics, and some of the people promoting them aren't even afraid to call them manipulative, as if manipulation isn't an awful thing that can cause trauma and long-term damage to a person
Yeah that whole please and pain one where she starts it by saying “this is manipulative “ that woman is a whole fucking abuser
LOUDER FOR EVERYONE!
Social media has normalized it and made it something to be proud of. It's so cringe.
I was thinking the same thing!! That clip from 8:03 especially :(
just your average alpha behavior
I never thought I’d hear Chad Chad tell me that my existential dread and loneliness is…. a skill issue
HA
It really is a skill issue
just need a better gaming chair.
sounds like her tbh
Adjective
-relating to existence.
"the climate crisis is an existential threat to the world"
😳
Finally someone is mocking this "be interesting by acting uninterested" garbage.
Seriously. Met way too many women who acted incredibly rude only to then turn around and confess their crush when drunk. As if them being friendly somehow makes us think less of them ..
Men do it as much as women. Which is odd to me. For centuries women were taught that being passive was feminine and men naturally take the lead. But men never were told that. It wasn't charming when women did it so why do men think it's gonna work for them.
@@acegikm
Absolutely not. Hard disagree.
Also - men do naturally take the lead. We knew all that for generations and it worked pretty fine.
Problem is that in our cultural climate, we are shamed and punished for it, yet women still rely on us risking rejection because they themselves tend to be too afraid.
It's not an accident that this generation is the most self-sexualizing, yet the one having the least amount of sex.
It's a bed women make themselves. A bit late to complain about that and also a bit lame.
expressing your feelings openly is a vulnerable position to put yourself in, people act this way to protect themselves from the pain of potential rejection. it's not a good strategy, social interaction always comes with a risk, but this behaviour has its reasoning behind it
@@acegikm I don't think that most men who do that do it to be manipulative. It's probably more to protect our egos or the stability of a friendship by not "letting the cat out of the bag."
Personally, I'd rather just assume that my infatuation is unrequited than deal with the messiness and pain of my feelings making someone else uncomfortable.
@@acegikm Nah women do it more.
I would fucking melt if a woman told me i was perfect. Thats such a sweet compliment 😭
Your perfect
@@user-jt1fu5yj8l 💛💛
@@user-jt1fu5yj8l yor'ue*
@@user-jt1fu5yj8l holy shit u killed him
@@wethels I didn’t know he would actually melt but at least he went happy 😃
Edit: in all seriousness though I hope he’s okay
As a heterosexual male, ive been looking for this information for YEARS
Gotta know either way
I'm a lesbian😂
Same
understandable
as a lesbian, SAME DUDE
Same, all the men keep running away from me
as a person who was beaten away from chad chad with her stick, i can confirm that there are lots of people obsessed with her
omg i was there too! i was the one grabbing onto chad chad’s leg
* bonk *
She gave me a black eye w the stick... ill cherish it forever
Can also confirm! My cousin was the stick
And that lots of lube is required.
I don’t want many men to be obsessed with me. I want one man in his right mind to share a loving relationship with. We’ll simultaneously build each other up and hold each other accountable.
What the heck. You don't want the unhinged thing? That's crazy!
This is literally the premise of all good relationships, perhaps most obviously with regards to dating.
But people really do be out here making content "about"... "dating"; they're not coming at it from the angle of being interested in people but almost from the mindset of overthinking a sport or a videogame.
Waste of their limited time on this earth and almost certainly a waste of any audience's, as well.
It melts my icy heart to see menstrual cups as sponsors, it means they’re finally mainstream. I’ve been using them since 2010 and I had to buy it on eBay because they didn’t sell them anywhere else.
I'm terrified of them for some reason 😂
@@absolutelyridiculous6743 that's okay, they look enormous but the new ones are very very flexible and can become as small as a tampon. The original one I used was very stiff and was _not easy_ to use. There's so many to choose from these days that are very friendly, just make sure it's medical grade silicone :) I take magnesium to reduce menstrual cramps during my period, along with a menstrual cup, I barely notice my period anymore.
Buying cups on eBay sounds so scary 😭
EBAY??????
@@user-fb2yd9bz8b lol it wasn't used!!! But this was before Amazon was selling more than books, so there was no where else that would ship to Canada.
I want to have a woman who takes these tik toks seriously and a man who watches the sigma male pages go out on a date. And I want to observe them interacting like I'm Jane Goodall
Someone needs to make a show about this
Oh it would be so painfull to watch but the internet loves pain so it would sell for sure
I would pay to help fund this study.
I would pay big bucks for the chaos it ensues
This would make an interesting social experiment ngl
I don't think people realize how scary obsession actually is 😭😭😭 no Megan I can promise you you don't want anyone to be literally "obsessed" with u
What they really mean is making a guy feel like no one else would tolerate him. So he thinks he could lose you at any moment and be alone forever.
@@lefu87williford55 I know they mean something like that but it's just funny to see the word obsession being thrown around. I wouldn't go out of my way to hate on someone who does it but it makes me giggle
@@kieamonarch it's abuse
Yeah, obsession in the literal sense tends to be creepy, traumatizing, and if you're really unlucky it can culminate in violent crime. I know that's not what they're talking about (not to say the stuff they are talking about is healthy or okay), but I was kind of uncomfortable with that term being used.
It's the type of thing you think it would be great if you have low self-esteem but in reality... It's just straight up creepy
As a straight(ish) man, the best advice I can give to straight girls is just make it obvious that you're interested. A lot of men are anxious about making a move for various reasons, giving them a clear green light makes our end of things so much easier.
All they need to do is smile and say hello to me.
The phrase “girlbossify manipulation” is now part of my vernacular. Thank you ChadChad for your service, you brave Modern Day Knight TM of the internet
I genuinely hate how normalized and even romanticized “obsession” is. as someone who gets obsessed very quickly and easily and struggles with overcoming obsessions it’s infuriating. it’s not cute, REAL obsession ruins relationships and makes it hard to live your day to day. very much not fun or dreamy to live with.
Are you familiar with the term 'limerence'? Idk, discovering the concept and being able to name it when experiencing it really helped me. Sincerely hope things get better for you, must've been rough sometimes
I had the same issue and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy for BPD really helped. Wishing you well ❤
@@NWednesdayQuansah amen!
It's like how being a "stan" has been normalized despite it originally meaning an obsessed fanatic
@@averagepollinator I'm not the original commenter, but I just looked up limerence thanks to you. I gotta say it's incredibly enlightening!
She said it perfectly!!!! The “men’s advice” channels do the exact same thing: “work on yourself, go to the gym, immerse yourself in work and hobbies, invest your money and then the girls will be all over you and you can get a girlfriend” wouldn’t you want your own genuine life (not a contrived one in order to attract someone) so you’re not depending on that eventual relationship for all of your needs in an unhealthy way?
No woman anywhere wants a fat guy with no money.
It's weird how so many people in the comments section don't see this as a problem.
tbh for many depressed or anxious people trying out new hobbies and exercise is not bad advice even if the motivation is misguided
@@vladys5238 it’s the motivation that’s being criticised. You should have hobbies and work on yourself for your own sake. If it’s stuff you only did to attract a partner and you find one, that lack of self-value is still present. It could also lead to feelings of entitlement to relationships, which can be harmful. It could lead to feelings of resentment and disappointment if you don’t meet a partner, undermining the positivity that these improvements should bring to your life. It can undermine your platonic relationships if you are making friends as primarily a means to meeting a partner. The advice to try new hobbies and exercise is good. But the toxic mentality being attached to these things is worthy of the criticism. Not getting away from that toxic mentality can also lead people to fall back into old patterns, potentially, even if they seemed to be doing things that should improve their lives.
Exactly! If a relationship happens, it should happen unexpectedly, no matter how it happens (thru friends, as friends, or whatever, man)
Chad Chad's Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss skit/edit lives rent free in my head whenever I hear anyone use those words regardless if it's being used properly or comically 😂
These people really embody the phrase “gaslight, gatekeep, girl boss.”
I love how men's advice is: stop texting her.
women's advice: stop texting him.
It's literally a prisoner's dilemna on both ends, trying to figure out who's gonna be the most toxic.
@@Smileman-rq7zkyou do
I wonder if these puas, men and women, were the type of people to be more clingy and obsessive with responses which their dates pointed it out. Now they think all the opposite gender is like that when really its people in general.
@@hanatemonstas4485
That's true, men say women cheat and women say men cheat.
Truth is both gender cheat xd
That why social media doomed lots of potentially amazing relationships ,end of class ,enjoy your breaks,
That’s straight couples.
As someone with ADHD, I can confidently say that texting someone and then not responding for a long period of time is not going to make them obsessed with you. It’s just going to make them annoyed. Be nice and don’t ghost people ❤
Feeling called out but also agreeing lol
When I don't hear a reply back after a couple hours after the date, just to even try to set up another one or to see if they would even be interested in another one. So I give up. I stopped dating because every guy I went out on a date with just ended up ghosting me. I don't know what I do wrong or if I'm just really that disgustingly ugly that no guy could ever find me attractive. It's to the point where even if I find a genuine guy, I wouldn't believe him about his feelings because I would assume he was lying. I was even looking for a friends with benefits situation and still nothing. Which tells me that there is something wrong with me. And I don't know what. I have tried everything from being myself to not being myself. And then to try to get them to talk to me would be impossible! Only one date ever went well and he admitted to me of being a molester. But he was a teenager so it's fine! UGH! And I listened to his story, mostly because I was in shock but also took into consideration that he was being up front and honest. But that's when he said that he was a kid and did that. It wasn't until the end of the dinner when he told me his actual age of 17. But he said that it was because someone molested him and that he didn't know better. I don't know. It just made me feel too uncomfortable and I could NEVER have or even raise children with him after admitting to me how it's ok to sexualize children. I never spoke to him after that. You tell me how you molested your cousin and then say how it's ok to sexualize children because that's the way of the world? NO NO NO! Children are innocent and need to be protected from monsters like him! Ugh, I feel so disgusted even going through the entire date instead of just getting up and walking out. And it was going so well too. The first date I ever had where the guy didn't run off almost immediately from the first site of me. Sorry if this was a little confusing to read, I tried cleaning it up but I'm getting heated again just thinking about him and how disgusting he was!
@@wintermoon7003 A good filter is to date friends of friends, kind of insurance they are not creepy guys like this one (this guy should not be roaming street omg). It seems you are not ready for dates, and that you commit self-sabotage. You describe yourself harshly, and you overanalyze your behaviour - maybe when sitting at the table it's not a dialogue of 2 but 3 persons : You, him and your internal dialogue. This is off-putting like hell !
Take the time - surround yourself with friends that don't want to date you - and the gained confidence will put you in the correct state of mind to not get hurt ! Wish you all the best !
Hahahaha you have adhd
@@aftermathinstrumentals6867what 💀
A quote from a man on a podcast that fits this perfectly, "If you play hard to get, you'll be hard to want." This man has his head on right with this quote. Men want honesty, loyalty, and genuine interest, not this manipulative bullshit. I also came across a guy whose girlfriend started doing this shit to him, so he did back to her and she started crying and begging him to take her back when he broke up with her over it. She told him she had been given bad advice, but he didn't take her back because the relationship was fine until she decided to follow this bullshit, tik tok advice. That is how to lose a man, not make one obsessed with you.
I love how your encouraged to worry about appearing confident. Basically don't be confident because you need to work hard to appear confident
"You're not allowed to girl-bossify manipulation" is the best statement I've heard in a year
624 likes and no comments-
Waiting for something?
@@Mitochondrialoi yeah, my takeout.
“Obsession is not love” THANK YOU! So so many people need to hear that.
Agreed!!
But We Probs Need Both In Life
@@Ilikemeself bro has a killing stalking pfp and a yandere sim username, ofc you'd say that 💀
@@ohno8064 No,Like actually,Obsession is a need as well as love,For me at least,But I'm the one obsessing
@@Ilikemeself honey, obsessing isn't a good thing, like I'd go far enough to say it's a bad one actually
i love how modern dating advice is basically “exhibit narcissistic tendencies, they’ll FALL for you.”
they might. or they might see you as self centered and unable to foster a genuine connection.
It’s funny cause the people this shit actually works on is exactly the type of people no one wants to be in a relationship with: insecure stalker turbo creeps who have nothing else going on in their lives and thus have time to be “obsessed” with a girl.
Any marginally sane person, man or woman, doesn’t have time for these bs games. Just be a decent person with something to bring to the table- something other than manipulation.
I am just afraid of vulnerable young men and women out there...they are gonna endure all those narcissistic crap because their self-esteem is worn down into crumbs thinking they don't deserve better....even being single is better than manipulation....then it becomes a cycle...after breaking up they are filled with anger and find prey the exact same way thinking all men/women are the same might as well manipulate them to get what they want just like how everything was taken from them....what a sad world
And everybody who you'd actually want to be in a relationship with are in the second group.
This isn't all dating advice, nor is it modern.
However it is representative of most of TikTok.
I like the addendum to "absence makes the heart grow fonder" i think it is from Vsauce with the words "Absence makes the heart grow fonder, just like a fire is nurtured by the wind, but a candle will be blown out" because if someone is testing the waters and instead of showing interest back you ghost them no wonder they got a girlfriend or boyfriend in the meantime.
how to make someone obsessed with you:
1) emotionally manipulate them into being obsessed with you or are too scared to not pretend to be obsessed with you
2) blackmail them into dating you
3) commit tax fraud
Im commiting tax fraud daily and zero women is obsessed with me.
@@danieladamczyk4024 No no no, you have to commit tax fraud FOR them
@@akiaintit But this don't help me but them. That ain't fair. So i keep all the tax fraud for myself.
@@danieladamczyk4024 question: are you blackmailing them?
@@placeholderdoe Well, if you want to bring skin color into it. I don't judge people base on they skin color but content of they characters.
I hate how some people don't treat obsession as an actual, real problem but more like a "tee hee cute quirk".There were people that were killed by other people that had an obsession for them...
It's for stupid people to flirt with obsession. They seem to use it for infatuation rather than understanding how dark obsession can get. Limerance is similar to obsession but doesn't involve approaching the person in reality. But that is also as destructive.
Also they don't realize how pathetic they are. If you respect the guy so little and he's that stupid, what does it say about you, investing so much time, energy and research into keeping him around?
Yeah, obsession, or another type of unhealthily bond you can have with others... codependency are both seriously horrible things for people to be in. You can have just as much and honestly a lot more passion with healthier forms of desire/love.
People see wanting others out of jealousy, envy, or FOMO & just because other's want them as bad for the perpetrator seeking out a relationship with the object of desire in the long term but most people turn a blind eye to obsession & codependent relationships since its a lot more complex & under the surface to understand why its so bad to seek out love stemming from this.
it’s crazy they’re so ignorant
they wanna be a cute yandere sooooo bad till they’re quirkily thrown into ✨solitary confinement✨
can confirm, if a woman tried the stardew valley method of dating, I would 100% say yes
These videos are a great step-by-step guide to get labelled a sociopath by every man you interact with.
being honest when I say these mindgames and peoples obsession with… obsession completely ruined my last relationship for me. my partner wanted me to be unhealthy obsessed with them and then got upset when i didn’t.
remember, it’s not healthy to obsess over people - you should seek for mutual respect and care for one another in a relationship instead of emotional dependency.
On the flip side, I consider it a huge red flag if a guy obsesses over me. Any disregard for my boundaries or display of jealousy is a deal breaker. A person who obsesses over you never really sees you as the human you really are.
Ooof now that you mentioned it I had the same issue with my ex, he wanted me to read his mind and be jealous (yuck) and he cut all ties with all his friends and wanted to spend all his time with me and now I know I was scared of him but then I thought he must be right and I probably just didn’t know how to love
@@hypatiakovalevskayasklodow9195 My ex did the exact same thing. I think people develop an unhealthy ideal of what a relationship is and get mad when you don’t fit into that ideal they made up.
@@vihmaussivenitaja it mkes me wonder---what eads to this-like some disorders but dont you understand its terribleespecially if you get upset after lie 2 seconds of though-
@@vihmaussivenitaja 100%! Obsession is scary. I'm thinking of men forcing you to stay inside instead of going out with your friends and exes who stalk you when I think of obsession. No sane girl or woman wants that.
That “pleasure and pain” one is literally how Stockholm syndrome forms. Extreme violence or pain and then a sudden break from it, makes the victim psychoanalyse the captor and learn their triggers.
Spoiler alert: She knows.
It's not an accident that these psychopaths use textbook forms of emotional manipulation and abuse, it's the strategy.
This is exactly what bullying was like for me. My classmates would mock me, insult me & then the day after would treat me like a "friend" (this happened for like 6-7 years but it got worse as the years went by).
People don't realize that abuse is a REAL thing and if someone is willing to use these "tricks" to find a partner....then THEY ARE an abuser!
yeparooni can confirm that was my whole childhood and it is one of the awfulest ways you can abuse someone ;v;
Actually that's not a real syndrome, it was invented by a psychologist who never even spoke to the woman he "diagnosed" as having it.
Women are taught to manipulate men and at the same time they’re taught men are evil.
Obviously, it’s going to create a fucked up world
Chad Chad your social anxiety sketches remind me I'm human and not an alien. Thank you.
In 2009, the episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The D.E.N.N.I.S system aired. 14 years later, random people on TikTok promote more or less the exact same system as a TV psychopath, unironically as dating advice. What a time to be alive.
As a man, i can confirm that there is literally nothing more appealing to me than being gaslighted, made to feel inferior and never feeling secure in a relationship. Nothing screams "this is the one" like being manipulated 24/7 by the person you rely on the most.
Oh, an please make your man a cheese sandwich, cause theese times are particularly rough for men i decided.
Not the "I decided" XD
Tbh if you suffer those things you very much are entitled to a sandwich
"Yes she hit me but I swear there were good parts.... even though she told me there were none and all her happiness was acting and nothings made her more miserable" 🥴
Shout out to all the narcissists out there
As a woman, same. Isn't it funny how many women and men are advising both our sides to just be incredibly toxic to each other? It's almost like the real division is sincere humans, versus garbage excuses for people who think manipulation is the only way to get a partner.
I honestly hate how dating has been made to be like a stupid game to toy with people instead of the actual process of meeting and getting to know all kinds of different people.
guess that's what happens when we don't get therapy and hurt people in the dating process. the hurt people don't want to get hurt again and they also get angry at having been wronged. so they go on to hurt more people in an attempt to keep themselves emotionally safe. and then those people go on to hurt other people.
Same. Like how being able to attract someone is literally called game. It feels like we're all just playing mind tricks on each other and manipulating someone to see you in a specific light. "Don't say this! Say this instead! Do this! Wear this color to attract someone!" I hate how we can't even be genuine anymore. We just act out a script until we're in a relationship long enough to drop the facade. It's very sad.
Anything for likes. The algorithms have made a market for this crap.
people are treating relationships like a dating sim nowadays... only acting based on certain rules and not because you want someone to love you for your true self
Ikr I'm going to die alone🙃😢
“they’re going to kick you out for standing like this” lmaooo
her editing is just 🤌🏽
the first guy i ever "dated" was actually obsessed with me and it ended up sending him into a deep depression which he blamed on me. sooo i'd say obsession is not something you wanna strive for
every dude i've dated has been like this, and then when i want to talk to them, they treat me like a commodity to fawn over. very weird.
@@wenisdead6829 maybe some introspection into how you treat and communicate with other people would be useful lol . i know theres a lot of dudes out there who get obsessed easily but if its everyone honey ,,, maybe youre the problem
first girl i dated was so obsessed with me my parents pulled me outta school to get me away from her. Ih haven't been able to date since yall
@@wenisdead6829 Honestly i think its also how you treated the guy in the relationship. Usually guys who act like that only act like that because they had sex with the girl and they have no other way of obtaining sex, so they get obsessed with you. Its the guys that have multiple sleeping partners that never get emotionally obsessed with one woman. Literally the only reason why a guy would be obsessed over you is if youre his only form of physical attention, sex, emotional attention, etc. Average men have a really hard time getting sex or just a decent girl, but average women can score a guy that makes six figures. Its been like this all throughout human history all over the whole world.
@@El-de6nj i know a guy at my school and girls ''love'' him so much they fuckin stalk him and screenshot his insta stories
simply calling your loneliness and misery a ‘skill issue’ is the most affective coping mechanism I’ve ever heard of. Bless you, Chad chad
Wouldn't this be "effective"?
@@iwatchtoomuchyoutube I think they're referencing a psych term cuz I've only heard it in that context
@@iwatchtoomuchyoutube "affective" means relating to emotions, while "effective" means producing a desired result. So yes the correct word would be effective
@@luzdani11 oh dang I never knew there was a difference
@YourLocalDemon it has a couple different uses based on context I believe. For instance if I hit a chair, that's the affect. The chair falling over is the effect. That's the way I understand it anyway. So in simple terms an affect is an action and the effect is the result of said action.
There are dating tips like "if u wanna drive him nuts (in a good way) walk around in like his shirt or something" and then theres these
Idk if a woman I like seems completely disinterested in me I'd get sad and anxious and eventually give up on the relationship, that's not the same as obsession. I'm not going to stick around forever when I'm obviously not wanted.
While on the other hand if a woman I like DOES seem really interested and makes me feel confident and happy, I have a HUGE incentive to do the same for her to lift her up too, and to try and keep the relationship going since I'd have the impression that things are going great for both of us.
To all girls reading this: Show him you're interested, tell him you like him and show him that you care. (Also make sure he treats you with kindness and respect)
As a guy, yes!! Thank you! And especially as someone on the autism spectrum, thank you! I’m so sick of people playing games and making things so complicated
And be super obvious about it. We're kinda thick.
My wife spent a year apparently trying to talk to me before we started hanging out.
@@robertbeisert3315My dad said that my mum was hinting for years before he realised 🤣
@@robertbeisert3315lol as a guy I have seen no denographic as thick headed as women. I've asked a girl on a date, been invited to her apartment, danced with her and then witnessed her shock at my making a move. I've had all her friends telling a girl I liked her because it was so obvious and her still not believing it. My friends' anecdotes are even wilder. I'm sorry, this is not a gender thing
In short, treat each other like a human being
Personally I think this is a big win for feminism, since all of these tiktok accounts prove that not only men but also women can recieve dogshit dating advice from psychos online.
Ah, equality!
In the end, we all equally suck 😂
Man and women we are all stuck in the same shit boat. Let's all paddle together through hell.
To where to Florida
And they're strangely similar. Same love bombing, same creeping touch, same push-pull strategies. They even use the same lingo. "High quality" men are seeking "high quality" women and vice versa. Thankfully I don't belong to either group so I'm safe from them
"He'll treat you like a goddess"
God of War fan:
"He'll treat you like a princess"
Crusader Kings 3 fans:
The bit about standing badly was pure gold
As a man i sure do love it when women gaslight me. This advice is so very accurate. I love never knowing if im a worthwhile human being.
Ain't it great feeling guilty for wanting to be wanted?
@@lefu87williford55 I sure do love it when I'm convinced that I'm incapable of being loved.
I once dated someone that was treated badly by his mother and he felt uncomfortable with my kindness, for him it was some sortof 'silence before the storm.'
One day I complimented him on working out a lot and he said; 'No, you're supposed to tell me that I have to do better. You have to be more strict with me.'
I said; 'Why is that my job, I'm not your coach..'and he said; 'No, but you are my girlfriend. I want you to tell me to stop eating certain unhealthy -fast- foods and tell me to work out more.'
So I said; 'Well, I don't mind motivating you, so..alright...what do you say we stop buying those chicken-and-saté-packages for the microwave?'
He said; 'You can't tell me what to do!'
I said; 'But you just-'
He screamed; 'Don't tell me how to live my life!' and ran to the fridge to demonstratively eat the chicken right in front of my face.
So, in hindsight, I think he was being rebellious to be able to overcome the lack of rebel-situations in his past with his mom. It wasn't the weirdest moment in our relationship and not the only moment he confused me with his mother, sadly. I hope he found a way (without damaging others) to move past this, like *Therapy.*
@@Widdekuu91 couples counseling is great and I recommend it for everyone. He certainly needs it wherever he is now.
Don't you become instantly obsessed over someone when they casually stop texting you?
Let's all appreciate the effort she put into a stardew valley skit.
This literally killed me
The accuracy tho 😆
Liked this comment during the stardew valley skif
sadly the gift limitations tho ;-;
One of the best games ever ❤
7:00 Fake news. I did no such thing
@@Cand1crazy IT WASN'T ME I SWEAR
@@Cand1crazy Unsubstantiated lies
You didn't actually text her back?? How dare you? You better text Chad Chad back right now!
Cis white man here... "Be his support system, living life as a man in today's society can be difficult sometimes" had me laughing so hard I nearly choked on my vodka soda 😂😂😂
Sounds like you're lucky not to struggle, but plenty of men do. It's not bad advice to support them when they need it.
True 😂
@@spicyt0fuand y’all are the same ones that don’t give a damn about women struggling but expect us to always cater to your needs.
@@queenofhorror29 I'm a woman, what are you talking about?
@@queenofhorror29tf are you yapping about
8:24 I know we’re all having fun here but I’m pretty sure this lady’s “pleasure/pain” system is also know as ‘love bombing’ and is an emotional abuse tactic.
This is all about abuse. The whole idea is to gaslight someone into thinking that giving them affection is a chore no one else would do.
oh my god I didn't know what you meant until a few moments after reading this comment I saw that lady in the video and you're so right, she absolutely is talking about love bombing and I know it's something sociopaths do for example
@@arsena5209 and cults
Fun
@@lefu87williford55my ex would do that lol
As a lesbian this is vital information for me to know. I really need to keep men away from me. Thank you
underrated
Just become fat
don't worry Lydia, you sound like an awful insufferable person that i wouldnt want to be around to begin with! So don't break your back fending off men is what i am saying. Good day!
Good comment
**starts to grip my cup tightly everywhere i go**
6:46 You cant fool me! You weren’t really swimming in that clip!
I can't believe she'd lie to us like this! Obviously she was flying.
Just a correction:
Common poison meds from the colonial times (John Adams times) were opium and mercury.
When it came to babies they probably would have given them opium.
Mercury was also very common in colonial America. It was usually only given to adults because it was prescribed most commonly for melancholy (depression and other mood disorders) and syphilis. Conditions that are not associated with children.
A girl I once dated showered me with compliments, made the first move, texted me constantly, and told me she liked me.
We're now engaged and have a son.
Woww congrats!
congratulations!
Awwwww, that's so wonderful! Hope you guys have many happy years
Y'all still ain't married but have a kid?
@@UmmFulaana yes, welcome to 2023
In Stardew Valley you can give only two presents per week, just like you should text your love interest only twice a year. Gotta keep their water supply dry 😊
This comment is underrated. Needs more likes, now xD.
@@Pepperkit ikr?
Twice a year, gosh they are going to think you are desperate. It's twice every 2 years. In fact don't even text them, just follow them on social media I like their post once every blue moon. That will get their attention for sure!
wow not me just getting off stardew before watching this video 😩
You text your love interest? No thats being so desperate. You gaslight them into texting you and leave them on read. That's a surefire way to make sure they will always come back
'Limerence' is a state of romantic infatuation, and a condition that can be hard to discern as it presents in a very similar expression to falling in love. In reality, it’s a multi-stage process of projecting unmet needs onto another person. One that’s rooted in trauma often related to the relationship between primary caregivers in childhood which results in developmental issues, manifesting as insecure attachment styles.
the fire effects at the beginning of the video actually look really good
Having men obsessed with me is my absolute nightmare
Same
Same
Same
Same
same
how to make your crush obsessed with you
1. be really nice to them
2. make them laugh
3. have them enjoy spending time with you
4. don’t pressure them into a relationship, if they reciprocate then cool! otherwise you’ve just made a really great friend which is also awesome
Actual advice ❤🎉 eureka!
-obsessed- fall in love 👍
You forgot the most important one
5. Have a life and be your own person
omg this is literally top tier manipulative girlkeep gateboss life hacks, I say from experience yall it works
As a disabled male who has never been loved by a woman in capitalism because of the profit motive, I can tell you easily that it is like this: 1. Be rich. 2. Be rich. 3. Be rich. 4. Be rich. 5. Oh, and be famous. Because I know dozens of disabled males in my 34 years and the only two that got married are the two that got somewhat decent full time jobs somehow. Oh, and their wives DEFINITELY don't respect them.
Imagine thinking that the way you hold a cup can make someone obsess over you.
To make men obsessed with me, I don’t use my hand to pick up my drink at all. I just bite the rim of the cup and tilt my head back to drink. Works like a charm.
omg me too, cup besties!
tbh this would make me ‘obsessed’ with someone if I saw them doing this, not in a romantic way just I would Have to be that persons friend lmfao ask them if they’re okay hdjdjsjs
Damn how did you figure out that was our trigger?
You know our weaknesses
And then I clap and bark like a seal because I’m not like other girls 🥺
The fact that all these tiktok creators promote abusive and manipulative “dating advice” worries me about how many teens and young adults are going to take it at face value and actually apply it to their real-life love lives.
Literally just saw one of my classmates post on her statis about how unhappy she is going "no contact" but how its all gonna be worth it
@@kittycatcrunchie no contact is an actual psychology term for a method of dealing with an abusive person....👀
Tbh those "tactics" were shared among teens even before social media was a thing
@@kittycatcrunchie i've actually seen teens my age and way over it act like this and it has always horrified me
yeah I actually see it a lot. I was a high school senior when tiktok was first getting really big and I remember the freshmen unironically acting like this
This video WORKS!! I now have 10 men absolutely obsessed with me, trying to get me to notice them with their flashing lights and loud noises after I left that bank a little bit ago. It's like, come on, there's only one of me!!
They all say they want a man who's obsessed with them but when someone is banging on their door at 3am and sending them angry text messages because they saw two shadows through the curtains, its all of a sudden no longer cool to have someone obsessed with you.
Obsession is not just a strong love ffs.
As a psychology student I can confirm the last one is true, all 4 years of education we have learned how to hold pens, glasses and other stuff too😌 Our teachers even know how to hold books😲 I hope to be like them one day🥺
i get more and more terrified to talk to psychology majors everyday (lovingly)
@@poof9447 don't worry we don't bite🥺 (unless it's in a kinky way and that's on Freud)
@@studywithselene5490you don’t speak on behalf of all psychology majors.
I've always wanted to study psychology since my older cousin went overseas to study it and your type of humour is making me want to study it more 😅
@@studywithselene5490 purrrrrrr
Dating shouldn't be a game. People that have self respect will ignore people who play dating games
Yeah, that's how abusers operate. They single out people with low self esteem, and deliberately reinforce it.
@@lefu87williford55 abusers really are the most insecure and weak people ever
I was with this one girl for a bit, she always ignored me and when she talked to me, she was talking about herself and how hot she was, expecting me to agree.
I broke up with her not long after, wondering where she got the idea to do all she did and what she thought would happen. These Tik toks have allowed me to understand her… It did not work. The real way to someone’s heart is making them feel loved and special, be kind and don’t manipulate or ignore.
i just "love" how their aware that what their saying is toxic and still say it!
The first time I heard about these techniques was in a self defense class, and it was a very serious topic that we were taught to catch early on in relationships- the fact that this information is so casually being spread around and encouraged is insane. Also, as someone who does obsess very easily and has had multiple very painful relationships due to people not responding, I hate that that’s being advertised as okay😭
why do you talk about dating strategies in self defense? isnt that more about how to punch someone?
Well self defense is keeping yourself safe, yes that can include fighting in cas e you are in danger, but you also have to recognize WHEN you are in danger or when a situation has the potential to get dangerous. As well as keeping yourself safe mentally and emotionally- abuse and assault statistically happens the most on relationships with people you trust like family friends and partners, so part of self defense is being able to recognize when someone is a person you have to defend yourself from: ie people you are in a relationship with that are using textbook manipulation tactics on you.
@@on_spikes6867 some of these strategies can be used to detect major red flags early on…although i believe that the technique on itself is looking for behavior like the one these tiktoks are encouraging, not doing it yourself cause obviously it’s a bad thing
Women are taught to:
1) Manipulate men
2) Hate men (like we’re supposed to be fragile, evil, earn more for less work, toxic masculine etc. etc.)
If course you’ll cause women to turn bisexual or just hate men because they cannot stand us except by being manipulative. The last thing women need is more manipulation skills.
@@on_spikes6867 Self defense: both physical and emotional.
If someone I liked started ignoring me, I would most likely and subconsciously start distancing myself from them and cease contact altogether. It wouldn't make me obsessed, just confused and sad, but I would eventually move on. Speaking from experience.
Yeah same. I've had phenomenal role models in my parents and friends, so when a girl starts to play these games I feel disgusted and amused at the same time at her cruel naivete. Occasionally, one slips by and I realize later than I would have liked, then a short period of confusion and sadness follows and I say adios
Yup. I’d abort mission immediately. I think I chased one or two guys back in my early 20s who played these mind games, & it sucked. A lot. It made me feel like shit. So I stopped thinking “mind games=solid relationship potential”. The last guy who tried that, by the time he eventually called me again, I’d started seeing a guy who actually ACTED like he liked me, & didn’t play games.
YUP! This thing of "ignore them if you like them" is so confusing to me c_c
I wish I had your cool superpower, I'm so easily manipulated.
yeah, I'd feel like I must've done something wrong or upset them, or that I'm too annoying and too much for them, if they ignored my I'd start distancing myself as well, no matter how much I love someone I couldn't handle that happening repeatedly lmao
At 1:00. That whole segment being a great analogy to how these people giving relashionship advice not have been in one themselves. Loved it
Ive been dead throughout this whole video. It should be a crime to be so funny😂
How to make men obsessed over you
Step 1: Be ChadChad
Step 2: What you need step 2 for, you're already done.
exactly
she got 7 man obsessed over her, that has been established in the star of the video
I peer reviewed this study and can confirm.
I was one of the guys she had to off, the way she hit me in the head with a baseball bat was so sexy ❤😍🫶
I mean if you failed step one, you're just screwed. Nothing you can do, just go home and have some soup.
I’m glad to know men aren’t the only ones building relationships based off of narcissism 🙏 now I know to avoid absolutely everyone
Unless chad chad wanted to gaslight me…I mean I’d let her gatekeep me from my own home 😭
Love to see women entering these male-dominated jobs ❤️❤️
@@badger6882 that is hilarious😭😭
@@badger6882 facts yo 💖🌟
J remember intimacy or cherishing affection is not the same as obsession.
Chad, you are my favorite TH-camr of all time, I am having the worst knee pains ever, and you make me feel more comfortable, thank you.
Chad Chad hits the spot when she says "stop overcomplicating things... there's too many rules", like, I'm autistic and I'm already perplexed at the superfluos amount of implicit rules of every single social interaction. Also, I think overcomplicating things for the sake of it has a name, it's called being neurotic.
important note: being neurotic it's not a mental illness or a disability, it's the product of capitalistic culture. read my uncle, Félix Guattari.
as another autistic person, I kinda like rules because otherwise i feel like i don’t know what i’m supposed to do😫 except for the fact that you’re supposed to just know all these “rules” without anyone ever telling you what they are😔
@@yungguattari4924 1. Gay.
2. You misspelled superfluous.
3. Ideological involvement is cringe; be Anarch.
4. Autists are perfectly capable of learning complex and intricate rules. You got this. Treat it like exercise; progressive overload is the key to improvement. Start by spending 5 minutes a day talking to strangers. Yes it's scary. I don't know why, but your monkey brain will be screaming at you the whole time as if you're standing on a cliff. This is fine; you'll get used to it. Once you can hold brief conversations with strangers without coming across as weird/creepy/retarded, a lot of doors open up for you.
When you're interacting with people, remember that listening is just as important a component as talking. Now, to autists like us, that implies that you should pay attention to their words. Wrong! The words hardly matter at all; just pay attention to the emotions they are conveying with body language, etc. and act accordingly.
@@yungguattari4924 he’s your uncle? Wow that’s so cool! I’m also autistic so I get what ur talking about it’s sooo dumb
@@rawrostar Guattari being my uncle is more like a joke but also intellectual heritage /jk ... but yeah, noticing how dumb it is has helped a lot to stop feeling awkward at social situations hahaha
Maybe I’m just autistic, but dating doesn’t seem that hard? I picked a cute person who made me happy, and then I was nice to her and did my best to make her happy. Five years later we’re going on our second wedding anniversary.
Awwwww, congrats!
Wow. Good for you ❤ This is how it should be
Good for you, but you just got extremely lucky, and I can't even emphasize how lucky. I did the same with ~9 girls now and still no luck. Try a lottery next time
@@jirivlk9862 maybe some self-reflection is in order. What went wrong? Were your values not aligned? What did they say about why the relationship ended? Why do you think the relationship ended?
Wow! So lucky. That’s awesome. For some people tho, they want to have passion, not just think they’re cute, but tho k they’re a literal goddess in looks… why am I saying this. I want someone who actually likes me.
Okay but the book that you put on the screen when you said "psych 101" is actually a really good book lmao I have it and love it
ur whole account always make me laugh out loud i love it
As a man myself, I can confirm this works. My DMs are filled to the brim with men obsessed with me and I feel like a queen
Cillian Murphy?
Slay male queen.
Gaslight. Gatekeep. Boyboss.
@@Random-sk6hmBoylight. Boykeep. Boyboss
@@Random-sk6hm”Guyboss” would have also been acceptable
“We’re married!”
“ARE we, though?”
I was out loud cackling so hard. ❤🎉
Gaslight, gatekeeper, girl boss!
Me telling my literal husband that I like him a lot haha He's like, "I hope so??"
As a guy, if you gift me food you own me 100%, body and soul.
With regard to old advice, it's probably the best advice. People have been telling each for a long time. It's *time tested*. Some food for thought.
As a female, the way I like to attract men is to insult their life styles and burn everything around them that could ever cause them joy in life unless its focused on me. ❤
Great advice, then they have nothing to focus on besides you.
Bonus points if you play dramatic music with Latin vocals the whole time
That sounds genuinely appealing, help
A TsunYandere then…
Abuse 101
How to make a man or maiden or enchanting mystical unfathomable being be obsessed with you:
1.Dont listen to alpha males
2.Dont listen to tiktok
3.Watch Chad Chad
Your advice is incompatible, Chad Chad is the alpha male of the whole human kind
How did you create a hyperlink?
@@55CINCO55 It was on accident
In general just be who you are, don't try being something you're not just because it's trendy and that's what others tell you to do. Spread love in your way, love is good.
I started holding my cups the way that Levi from AoT holds his back in 2014 and I still do it to this day so honestly, that girl should up her cup holding game
The desert metaphor that person was talking about is lovebombing, which is used to manipulate people in abusive relationships. People will basically manipulate their partner to be excited about any little tidbit of affection, so that it’s easier to win them back over when they’re being abused. Just the smallest bit of affection makes the person feel like they’re getting to return to the start of the relationship when they were with this seemingly perfect person who made them feel like royalty. It’s one of the most common techniques that abusers use, and it’s awful that people are teaching people on the internet (probably mostly teens) how to do it.
Its also a tactic commonly observed in cults so that's fun
Sounds like a narcissist to me
@@lorayjay7125 ding ding ding. thus is narcissistic behaviour. both men and women are capable of behaving this toxic but this is more of the female version of this.
It’s funny because people associate love bombing with BPD, but as someone with it, I can’t even imagine doing it because I feel so genuinely for the people I care about and always try to do my best to make them feel as good as possible. Whereas my mom, who is a narcissist (and the reason why I have BPD lmao) is the master of love bombing.
I was raised to be wary of compliments since nobody in my family compliments each other so I have a huge contempt for ppl that do it to me unless it’s like super sincere and there’s a logical reason behind it
As a married man, I can confirm that emotional abuse and manipulation is how she got me. It's a solid strategy.
EDIT: Just to be clear, my wife is incredible and taught me what love actually is lol
EDIT EDIT: My wife did not put me up to this, I am doing this of my own free will.
EDIT EDIT EDIT: Please help me. She has a baseball bat and a thirst for husband abuse.
sir
please blink if you need help
I feel sorry for you
Sorry
Does she at least keep your tummy filled and balls empty?
Lol, love a good ending
The sock on the mic is why I’m obsessed with chadchad
Just be humble, funny, and not horribly out of shape and you’re sorted for like 95% of guys 👌🏻
9:28 as a man I can confirm that we all have the ability to detect your deepest insecurities based on how you hold a cup
oh shit. what if I'm holding a water bottle though?
@@conquistadorrocket well my advice here is generally to seem less insecure you need to hold the water bottle upside down yell ooogaaaa boogaaa and like beat pacman then any man
Will be instantly obsessed with you
Now I think about it, wouldn't a sexier way to hold a cup be at the bottom, with pinkie finger underneath? She was holding it normally both times and I couldn't tell the difference.
*aggressively sniffs cup* I smell thalassophobia
Jokes on you I just drink from it like a gangly giraffe, leave it right on the table
It's nice to know Chad Chad is taking up new hobbies like pyromania
She’s obviously just doing it to get a man obsessed over her
@@KatherineAcosta20 ugh, classic chad Chad
@@KatherineAcosta20 god forbid women do anything /s
Please your videos are so funny you've got me suffocating with laughter in the middle of the night 😭
Thank you so much 🙏
Just found this channel, what a gem.
The ones that basically tell you to have your own life aren't that bad. There is worse advice you could give a teenage girl who doesn't like herself and thinks her self worth is dependent on a man than "You should have friends and interests independent of any romantic relationship."
Sure, but the criticism was that they said "be independent... so you can find a man", which completly destroys the message
@@spiritualsnail1584 Does it though? Straight girls want boyfriends, that's just how it works lmao, yes they want to know how to make that happen. 💀
If anything it's a direct counter to the toxic "sexual competition" narrative that a lot of people spread. Like, nobody really even implied that having a boyfriend was the source of worth, they said self worth is the source of a boyfriend, which is inarguably true.
@@spiritualsnail1584 eh, depending on who's watching, that might be the best way to get through to a kid. Some young teens get really obsessed with being in a relationship and can't let it go.
I don't think it's the best message, but there are worse things than tricking teenage girls into pursuing their interests and building healthy friendships.
@@Kfroguari dont know if the intention of that woman was to trick little girls into becoming independent. Thats a huge assumption. Ive met people like that and they genuinely want to make themselves appear interesting and wanted (thus they create a social group fawning over them) in order to attract more admirers. They dont even hide this, a girl i met and got close with literally told me she did this and that she just life hacked “men”. Of course this is also my own assumption but given that those women in the videos live off off date coaching and tutorials on how to make men obsessed with u im gonna say my assumption seems closer to reality
@@meli1872 I'd still say it's on the more harmless end of online dating advice. Getting hobbies, friends, a career, interests, make it more likely that the person will end up at the "I don't actually need a romantic partner to be fulfilled and happy" conclusion independently