I think it's easier for trans men to pass because the hair growth goes a long way towards not only masculinizing every feature it grows on but also hides feminine aspects in areas where HRT does less (like the hips) and of course testosterone does masculinize the voice. Men are also far less scrutinized for their appearance in general. But for trans women estrogen doesn't affect our voices at all and other things affected by testosterone are not undone by the lack of T and/or introduction of E, such as how prominent the Adam's apple is. That said, I pass. I go out in public and people default to she/her and call me ma'am and men hold doors open for me. This is a privilege I have enjoyed even before I started hormones as I have always looked very very similar to my definitely feminine sister. My voice is still a work in progress and on a good day I can slide under the radar. Often times people will switch not only how they address me but also their entire attitude towards me will shift after I speak. Some people do switch to he/him after I speak, but most of they time they opt of gender neutral ways to address me or awkwardly avoid gendered terminology altogether. And people treat and talk to men and women differently and when someone clocks me and doesn't respect trans people as their gender, I can almost immediately tell when I start getting spoken to like a man, even if they are one of the people that just avoids using gendered terms instead of misgendering me outright. I get it this badly *as someone who definitely visually passes* and my heart absolutely breaks for those of us who are less fortunate. People are cruel and looking for any excuse to deny a trans woman her womanhood whilst generally either pretending or genuinely forgetting trans men even exist. I truly hope the world becomes a more compassionate place sooner than later.
@MalibuBarbiieDelish it's a little more subtle a difference here in the southeastern US than a difference of actual words used. It's more of a tonal shift. Women are spoken to more delicately and men are treated a bit more indifferently. Almost like women are infantilized more. I don't like to describe it that way because honestly it feels more like people just care more rather than being like a condescension.
As a trans woman who very much so doesn't pass, yeah. Passing privilege is definitely a thing and it is very noticeable. All the arguments of "you can't tell" or "cis women have this too" just feel very out of place, derogatory, and minimalizing. Especially as someone who fits the conservative stereotype about what trans women should look like it gets hard to feel like even in my own communities I am somehow out of place or lesser.
@@TransIntrovert I urge you to dilate today. You wont be considered real otherwise :( please ma'am yours is just as good as a real woman's. Don't let anyone tell u different. F the Bigots!!!
@@TransIntrovert It's not about being ugly or attractive. You can pass and be unattractive or be very attractive and not pass. It's the way in which specifically you still get treated as your AGAB consistently, even by people who know your actual gender, about the ways in which you are systemically denied access to spaces you belong in, and ways in which you are constantly othered. Reducing it down to whether someone is "pretty" ignores many of the actual effects of passing privilege.
Girl, I appreciate this video so much. I struggle because I don't have money to get electrolysis cause laser didn't really take. My mother's skin wasn't exactly that soft texture so mine isn't really either. I have cystic acne scars. I can't even afford make up, though I am sorta tom-boyish anyway. I get misgendered often, but more than anything I just get confusion- "what are you?" kinda thing. I prefer that than "he" tbh. I do have relatively natural feminine features, and am 5'9". I started late at 37, I'm 40 now and I definitely wish I started earlier. Growing up, the information on transitioning was scant and relegated to freak show episodes of trashy afternoon talkshows like Maury or Jerry Springer "Is it a woman or a man? Shocking reveal!" The end of Ace Ventura is all you need to see how we were seen. The belief is that we're insane, of course, but just soooo gay and love drag soooo much that we just want to stay in drag forever or trying to "trick" men or society. The law in the US was a trans woman had to live as a woman full time for a year with regular visits to a psychologist or psychiatrist to make sure you're actually a tranny. You couldn't just get hormones and no bottom surgery, you had to get bottom surgery and it was all out of pocket. I remember at 21 I remember wishing I was a girl, I wish I didn't have facial hair, but I didn't know that it was even an option. I'm nonbinary transfem so it was even more confusing cause I couldn't go high femme if I wanted to. This is another aspect is agism and passing judgement within the trans community itself. Like the treatment from cis people certainly is a thing but It's something I've experienced from trans people, especially younger trans people. It often feels like the community itself doesn't have its own back, or picks and chooses who we back up. It's weird. I dunno, it's just fucking lonely and frustrating. Caught me in a mood. Gonna go watch some Contrapoints and eat dried mango.
@@roxyamused I feel you I've been saving for surgeries my whole life and still haven't got everything I want. Laser hair removal is a bitch and takes forever too! We have come a long way with acceptance and understanding for sure, I can only imagine how hard it must have been 20 years ago. And 100% not everyone in the trans community is inclusive that definitely sucks :( You're not alone though and enjoy your mango 😂❤️
Yup, we're the same, same old hostile world growing up, same ugly bigotry. I'm a bit older than you, but not by a whole lot. I remember growing up with the gross, oversexualized chariacture of transwomen. Rocky Horror Show always haunted me, and that damn ending to Ace Ventura. Thanks hollywood, they are guilty as anyone else for lampooning us for cheap laughs as anyone. Pretty privilege is just always going to be a thing, very much even within the trans "community". Frankly, younger people I don't have much in common with, our lives have been completely different. I grew up suffering with my GD alone, no support groups, no education, no nothing but just trying to make it another day.
I definitely agree! that's my issue with Blaire White... she acts like it's so easy to transition later on in life but It's not some people don't have the resources etc. I find her view and people who are similar very privileged and haven't experienced the real world and struggles once you've gone through pubery there's not a lot of help I'm not a fan of Elphaba and find her quite disgusting but I do agree.
You're totally right. Also I totally agree misgendering someone you hate because they are trans is like saying racist slurs to someone you hate because they're not white. Everybody understands why that makes you racist in the second case, that's the same.
However someone presents themselves, is how you should address them. If you make a genuine mistake in misgendering someone, give a genuine apology. We are all people with insecurities, worries etc.. and sometimes we forget how much of an impact our words and actions can have on someone else. Someone may seem like they can take the stress and pressure of what is being thrown at them, but you don't know what goes on in their head, or behind closed doors. Let's just try and be kind to each other. When someone is nice to you, it can really make your day!
A wonderful friend of mine has three girls. The oldest Anne has Ben blind since birth and in her senior year at university studying to be a school teacher for visually impaired kids.... Anne is also a lesbian with a great partner. We got into a conversation about how rampant prejudice is in2024 and she expressed it so well when she said by being blind she has no other way to judge people other than by their actions and beliefs. I said wonder if the whole world would be if everyone was blind? 🤔
This resonates so much, even tho I’m a transman not a trans woman. I’m 6 months into my transition and I don’t pass, not yet. And probably not until I have top surgery in a year
such a great and nuanced take! i think any genuine critiques of elphaba’s behaviour end up buried amongst really transphobic comments, and mocking and making a spectacle of how she looks. it’s really horrible and dehumanising. ive seen plenty of scrutiny towards cis women’s appearances after someone deems their behaviour unacceptable too (as an example, the constant criticism of Brooke Schofield’s body and looks on reddit - i don’t agree with or excuse her racism at ALL, but equally don’t think her body should be nitpicked as a result. i saw a post saying she has a face ‘only a mother could love’ - just an excuse to be nasty veiled under ‘doing the right thing’ by denouncing her. the difference when trans women are subject to this intense criticism, it is almost always an attempt to invalidate their identity. its so deeply cruel, and i’m glad to see you speaking on it 🤍
100% Elphaba has done some questionable things but all everyone talks about is how she looks its whack! And yeah people really do just love to jump on someones looks when they are mad at them :/
thanks for making a video on this, malibu! ♥i think there's another level within the non-passing group. to me there is a separate judgement of those trying to pass and those who are not. i feel that those judged harshest within the trans community are those perceived as trying to pass but do not. maybe i'm just fooling myself, but it seems like a recipe for unhappiness to make my decisions in my transition based on passing. i say that i'm fooling myself since i get a dopamine rush when i get correctly gendered in some way. it's a love-hate experience. i love the feeling but hate that i respond so viscerally to outside affirmation of others seeing me as i see myself. oof, then there's the whole aspect of cis women who struggle with passing. it makes me think this is a broader problem of gender whose root is patriarchy.
You might be right. I suppose I care more about feeling good in myself than I do about passing but the two often go hand in hand. And for sure there are cis women judged in this way too, I once heard someone theorise that alpha males can't understand trans women because they can't understand why anyone would choose to not be a man which is just another layer of misogyny, who knows!
I feel like passing to a reasonable level is easier then we think. Women come in all shapes and sizes and (For most) putting in the hours with hair and make up and dressing well does so much heavy lifting. Passing vocally can get in the bin though that takes blooming ages.
I don't wear makeup. It's a symbol of an oppressive patriarchal society and I resist it. I also don't spend any time on my hair, let alone hours. I wash it. Occasionally I blow-dry it for about five minutes. Why are you so sexist?
I'm a non passing trans woman. I have been treated negatively by cis and trans people for being non passing. Being non passing is a sure way to see that everyone is not beautiful.
Even the expectation that people would do "everything in their power" to look a certain way makes me sad. It's something that gets cis women hateful attitudes as well. We should respect everyone's identity without the need to look like a stereotype
No one should feel compelled to do anything to themselves in order to have their gender identity respected. It's no ones fucking business on what their plans are for surgery, or medication, or documentation, we don't have to do anything other than exist. That's it. Do what you feel YOU need, not what you think you require from society.
I just found out about the elphaba saga honestly being trans doesn't bother me, But the neighbours beef with her is warrented the lady is a DV suvivour and elphaba is waking up her kids up, Elphaba has been calling everyone transphobic just for respectfully disagreeing and the word has lost its power
@@pavilionlakebooks8479 For sure its warranted. I can totally see why she's annoyed at Elphaba but when she is constantly misgendering her it devalues her argument imo.
@MalibuBarbiieDelish what do you expect that people to do when there patiences is at a breaking point, also elphaba track record is dubious at best, like faking being autistic having cancer ect, it's always the craziest in the community who became the poster girl a fuel for the negative stereotypes
I'm a transwoman that doesn't pass, though admittedly that's mostly because there's nothing I can do towards physical transition in my current situation. The truth is, I present as my preferred gender online, and my birth gender in real life (except for the few people I trust to tell my real identity). It just... doesn't really seem worth it to try and present as a woman in real life if everyone is just going to see a man, anyway. The way I feel about it is, unless I pass, I'm basically asking the person to play a D&D game with where they pretend I rolled a female character, but somehow take it very seriously... and honestly, I get why, you know? I mean, we can talk about things like privilege and fairness all day, but the fact is, no amount of compassion can really change the fact that a non-passing transwoman is not going to be seen as a woman in the same way, and it's because people associate womanhood with a certain look almost instinctively through years of exposure. Sure, people might use the pronouns to be polite, but you can tell by their body language and such that they don't quite buy it and it feels weird to them.
Ive met a few who pass really well. Usually finer featured women,with no noticeable adams apple and not as tall. One girl i can think of started female hormones at 16 ,so she never got facial hair.She's now 20,and looks completely female,although she has a baritone voice,despite not having an adams apple.
As an autistic cis woman, I just can’t understand why people can’t just see others as the gender they ask to be seen as? I don’t really have a solid concept of what makes someone “look” feminine or masculine, so it’s quite easy to just go “oh ok” and start seeing them as they have asked to be seen- even if the language takes a moment to catch up. And even if it’s hard for some people to change the way they view someone, I can’t understand why they wouldn’t just, you know, respect that person anyway? Why would you want to disrespect someone so fundamentally, by denying who they are? I just can’t understand it. Even if you don’t understand, you at least know that referring to that person the way they wish will make them happy, so why on earth wouldn’t you?
Well said Miss Malibu your very right 100%. And your very beautiful and pass very well. ❤🙂 As a trans woman, It does suck when you do get misgendered, and haven't been misgendered in over a year which I'm happy about because I do pass good enough. But do understand the frustration that some trans women go through to pass.
I totally see where you want to come to this argument but it’s just not right. No one hates elphaba because of “not passing”, it’s because of the many many years of illegal scams, slurs, derogatory to nearly anyone she has collabed with / has exploited austistic people and a safe space for them to benefit her (autism’s got talent) and no, I respect all trans people, but if a HUMAN is being disgusting call that HUMAN out. Elphaba has done enough detrimental damage to the trans commmunity and this video is another way to enable her behaviour. I think I need to do a video recapping her history again just so people don’t try to give this predator a platform.
I know that's true but all of the comments on her neighbours videos were misgendering her and really transphobic. She may need calling out but the misgendering is an issue to me.
Passing is incredibly important and should not be looked down on , whilst i agree due to economic circumstances, some people might not (due to genetics or puberty) have the right features to pass, thats why we have to work together with medical insituitions to make health care accessible, the notion that no one should ever have to medically transition is nonsense in my opinion, as its the only actual way to get physical characteristics of "the female" we need more clinics with cheap quality hormone therapy accessible to transwomen and transmen, we cannot have this discussion without acknowledging that medical care is very important, i used to work with a so called "transwomen" i had no surgeries or hormones at the time (money reasons) i still passed ,whilst they walked around with a pro noun badge, deep masculine voice, 6 foot huge bulky muscles, im sorry but even i as a transwomen would be uncomfortable seeing that in a public bathroom. It is important that transwomen and transmen understand that to integrate into society and not be classified as a pred, is to make the effort no matter what, ( transmedicilist) is a term i really dont like the trans community using to hate on trans people who say we need medical treatment, the only ones saying we dont need to transition medically are ultra woke trans people and men or women that are literally just preds. We need to come together as a community and promote medical transition for everyone rather than telling lies that a full-grown bearded man wearing a pronoun badge can enter womens spaces just because he says so. The left is truly failing in this understanding and the community and general, and it's so sad to see. I know it's going to get worse under trumps presidency for trans people, but in the uk, we are quite lucky, we need to build our own clinics and give health care to every transperson who needs it, people in the uk are having to wait ridiculous times just to get an appointment, private is ridiculously expensive. We need more systems in place to support us but unfortunately theres way too many fake allies just paying lip service to how much they love us and not supporting with any thing substantial. People like to call themselves allies but in reality they just like the feeling of what saying that means rather than doing anything meaningful.
@@dl-vb4vm I mean I get what you're saying and I feel like every genuine trans woman does want to medically transition, it’s just that the way things are its not always that easy for everyone to do. I also feel like it is important for any trans person in the beginning of their transition to take their time with certain things so they can be sure they're making the right decisions. I think its important to remember all of that and respect those people who may not pass yet for whatever reason.
“It's difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on not understanding”. If you are going to attempt to use every buzz word or catch phrase on the topic and then attempt to dance around the topic without addressing it then you will never get an answer.
@@voltijuice8576 it’s a quote by Upton Sinclair born in the 1800’s, it can be used for many things. But in this case the video goes around the whole point with out even looking at what the real and true point is. So therefore the point stands, if you can face the problem head on, look at it honestly and take accountability for it then you will always be left with many videos like this which will attempt to not address the point and will try to work out what the “real” problem of the issue is.
@@MalibuBarbiieDelish you haven’t addressed the issue at hand, the real problem and avoiding the truth of the matter. By doing this then all you will have left is looking for answers that you’re just never going to find and turning your mind in knots because the answers just don’t and won’t add up. Address the real issue, get real answers. Or don’t address the real issue and suffer a life time of pain because you can’t make a square a circle no matter how much you try.
If you’re a transsexual, you should absolutely work towards passability. It’s not women’s fault you look exactly like your biological sex. No woman should be ok with a male looking, trans identified man in their space. It’s not a woman’s issue.
@@Whateverxo56 I fear you’ve missed the point. Of course trans women want to pass, the problem is it’s not always something that can be fixed easily or sometimes ever. People deserve respect none the less.
I think it's easier for trans men to pass because the hair growth goes a long way towards not only masculinizing every feature it grows on but also hides feminine aspects in areas where HRT does less (like the hips) and of course testosterone does masculinize the voice. Men are also far less scrutinized for their appearance in general. But for trans women estrogen doesn't affect our voices at all and other things affected by testosterone are not undone by the lack of T and/or introduction of E, such as how prominent the Adam's apple is. That said, I pass. I go out in public and people default to she/her and call me ma'am and men hold doors open for me. This is a privilege I have enjoyed even before I started hormones as I have always looked very very similar to my definitely feminine sister. My voice is still a work in progress and on a good day I can slide under the radar. Often times people will switch not only how they address me but also their entire attitude towards me will shift after I speak. Some people do switch to he/him after I speak, but most of they time they opt of gender neutral ways to address me or awkwardly avoid gendered terminology altogether. And people treat and talk to men and women differently and when someone clocks me and doesn't respect trans people as their gender, I can almost immediately tell when I start getting spoken to like a man, even if they are one of the people that just avoids using gendered terms instead of misgendering me outright.
I get it this badly *as someone who definitely visually passes* and my heart absolutely breaks for those of us who are less fortunate. People are cruel and looking for any excuse to deny a trans woman her womanhood whilst generally either pretending or genuinely forgetting trans men even exist. I truly hope the world becomes a more compassionate place sooner than later.
@@Blaumagier I know what you mean, when guys start to call you mate instead of love etc it's like oh ok I see you 😂
@MalibuBarbiieDelish it's a little more subtle a difference here in the southeastern US than a difference of actual words used. It's more of a tonal shift. Women are spoken to more delicately and men are treated a bit more indifferently. Almost like women are infantilized more. I don't like to describe it that way because honestly it feels more like people just care more rather than being like a condescension.
As a trans woman who very much so doesn't pass, yeah. Passing privilege is definitely a thing and it is very noticeable. All the arguments of "you can't tell" or "cis women have this too" just feel very out of place, derogatory, and minimalizing. Especially as someone who fits the conservative stereotype about what trans women should look like it gets hard to feel like even in my own communities I am somehow out of place or lesser.
Hey, remember to dilate :)
@@TransIntrovert Did u dilate yet?
@@TransIntrovert I urge you to dilate today. You wont be considered real otherwise :( please ma'am yours is just as good as a real woman's. Don't let anyone tell u different. F the Bigots!!!
@@TransIntrovert It's not about being ugly or attractive. You can pass and be unattractive or be very attractive and not pass. It's the way in which specifically you still get treated as your AGAB consistently, even by people who know your actual gender, about the ways in which you are systemically denied access to spaces you belong in, and ways in which you are constantly othered. Reducing it down to whether someone is "pretty" ignores many of the actual effects of passing privilege.
Almost nobody passes. If you don't know this you don't know enough trans people IRL.
Girl, I appreciate this video so much. I struggle because I don't have money to get electrolysis cause laser didn't really take. My mother's skin wasn't exactly that soft texture so mine isn't really either. I have cystic acne scars. I can't even afford make up, though I am sorta tom-boyish anyway. I get misgendered often, but more than anything I just get confusion- "what are you?" kinda thing. I prefer that than "he" tbh. I do have relatively natural feminine features, and am 5'9". I started late at 37, I'm 40 now and I definitely wish I started earlier. Growing up, the information on transitioning was scant and relegated to freak show episodes of trashy afternoon talkshows like Maury or Jerry Springer "Is it a woman or a man? Shocking reveal!" The end of Ace Ventura is all you need to see how we were seen. The belief is that we're insane, of course, but just soooo gay and love drag soooo much that we just want to stay in drag forever or trying to "trick" men or society. The law in the US was a trans woman had to live as a woman full time for a year with regular visits to a psychologist or psychiatrist to make sure you're actually a tranny. You couldn't just get hormones and no bottom surgery, you had to get bottom surgery and it was all out of pocket. I remember at 21 I remember wishing I was a girl, I wish I didn't have facial hair, but I didn't know that it was even an option. I'm nonbinary transfem so it was even more confusing cause I couldn't go high femme if I wanted to. This is another aspect is agism and passing judgement within the trans community itself. Like the treatment from cis people certainly is a thing but It's something I've experienced from trans people, especially younger trans people. It often feels like the community itself doesn't have its own back, or picks and chooses who we back up. It's weird. I dunno, it's just fucking lonely and frustrating. Caught me in a mood. Gonna go watch some Contrapoints and eat dried mango.
@@roxyamused I feel you I've been saving for surgeries my whole life and still haven't got everything I want. Laser hair removal is a bitch and takes forever too!
We have come a long way with acceptance and understanding for sure, I can only imagine how hard it must have been 20 years ago. And 100% not everyone in the trans community is inclusive that definitely sucks :(
You're not alone though and enjoy your mango 😂❤️
Yup, we're the same, same old hostile world growing up, same ugly bigotry. I'm a bit older than you, but not by a whole lot. I remember growing up with the gross, oversexualized chariacture of transwomen. Rocky Horror Show always haunted me, and that damn ending to Ace Ventura. Thanks hollywood, they are guilty as anyone else for lampooning us for cheap laughs as anyone. Pretty privilege is just always going to be a thing, very much even within the trans "community". Frankly, younger people I don't have much in common with, our lives have been completely different. I grew up suffering with my GD alone, no support groups, no education, no nothing but just trying to make it another day.
I definitely agree! that's my issue with Blaire White... she acts like it's so easy to transition later on in life but It's not some people don't have the resources etc. I find her view and people who are similar very privileged and haven't experienced the real world and struggles once you've gone through pubery there's not a lot of help I'm not a fan of Elphaba and find her quite disgusting but I do agree.
@@princessbubbles9222 yeah its easy for someone like blaire who has a lot of money to say :/
You're totally right. Also I totally agree misgendering someone you hate because they are trans is like saying racist slurs to someone you hate because they're not white. Everybody understands why that makes you racist in the second case, that's the same.
hey u really need to dilate
However someone presents themselves, is how you should address them. If you make a genuine mistake in misgendering someone, give a genuine apology. We are all people with insecurities, worries etc.. and sometimes we forget how much of an impact our words and actions can have on someone else. Someone may seem like they can take the stress and pressure of what is being thrown at them, but you don't know what goes on in their head, or behind closed doors. Let's just try and be kind to each other. When someone is nice to you, it can really make your day!
A wonderful friend of mine has three girls. The oldest Anne has Ben blind since birth and in her senior year at university studying to be a school teacher for visually impaired kids.... Anne is also a lesbian with a great partner. We got into a conversation about how rampant prejudice is in2024 and she expressed it so well when she said by being blind she has no other way to judge people other than by their actions and beliefs. I said wonder if the whole world would be if everyone was blind? 🤔
@@christopherpappas7474 probably a much better place! We should all take a leaf out of her book
Transgender women who don't pass are equally valid. You are beautiful and genuine are you are. I totally support all transgender people
This resonates so much, even tho I’m a transman not a trans woman. I’m 6 months into my transition and I don’t pass, not yet. And probably not until I have top surgery in a year
such a great and nuanced take! i think any genuine critiques of elphaba’s behaviour end up buried amongst really transphobic comments, and mocking and making a spectacle of how she looks. it’s really horrible and dehumanising.
ive seen plenty of scrutiny towards cis women’s appearances after someone deems their behaviour unacceptable too (as an example, the constant criticism of Brooke Schofield’s body and looks on reddit - i don’t agree with or excuse her racism at ALL, but equally don’t think her body should be nitpicked as a result. i saw a post saying she has a face ‘only a mother could love’ - just an excuse to be nasty veiled under ‘doing the right thing’ by denouncing her.
the difference when trans women are subject to this intense criticism, it is almost always an attempt to invalidate their identity. its so deeply cruel, and i’m glad to see you speaking on it 🤍
100% Elphaba has done some questionable things but all everyone talks about is how she looks its whack!
And yeah people really do just love to jump on someones looks when they are mad at them :/
thanks for making a video on this, malibu! ♥i think there's another level within the non-passing group. to me there is a separate judgement of those trying to pass and those who are not. i feel that those judged harshest within the trans community are those perceived as trying to pass but do not. maybe i'm just fooling myself, but it seems like a recipe for unhappiness to make my decisions in my transition based on passing. i say that i'm fooling myself since i get a dopamine rush when i get correctly gendered in some way. it's a love-hate experience. i love the feeling but hate that i respond so viscerally to outside affirmation of others seeing me as i see myself. oof, then there's the whole aspect of cis women who struggle with passing. it makes me think this is a broader problem of gender whose root is patriarchy.
You might be right. I suppose I care more about feeling good in myself than I do about passing but the two often go hand in hand. And for sure there are cis women judged in this way too, I once heard someone theorise that alpha males can't understand trans women because they can't understand why anyone would choose to not be a man which is just another layer of misogyny, who knows!
I feel like passing to a reasonable level is easier then we think. Women come in all shapes and sizes and (For most) putting in the hours with hair and make up and dressing well does so much heavy lifting. Passing vocally can get in the bin though that takes blooming ages.
To an extent yes
I don't wear makeup. It's a symbol of an oppressive patriarchal society and I resist it. I also don't spend any time on my hair, let alone hours. I wash it. Occasionally I blow-dry it for about five minutes. Why are you so sexist?
I'm a non passing trans woman. I have been treated negatively by cis and trans people for being non passing.
Being non passing is a sure way to see that everyone is not beautiful.
Even the expectation that people would do "everything in their power" to look a certain way makes me sad. It's something that gets cis women hateful attitudes as well. We should respect everyone's identity without the need to look like a stereotype
You're right actually, it's nobody business what we do or don't do!
No one should feel compelled to do anything to themselves in order to have their gender identity respected. It's no ones fucking business on what their plans are for surgery, or medication, or documentation, we don't have to do anything other than exist. That's it. Do what you feel YOU need, not what you think you require from society.
I just found out about the elphaba saga honestly being trans doesn't bother me,
But the neighbours beef with her is warrented the lady is a DV suvivour and elphaba is waking up her kids up, Elphaba has been calling everyone transphobic just for respectfully disagreeing and the word has lost its power
@@pavilionlakebooks8479 For sure its warranted. I can totally see why she's annoyed at Elphaba but when she is constantly misgendering her it devalues her argument imo.
@MalibuBarbiieDelish what do you expect that people to do when there patiences is at a breaking point, also elphaba track record is dubious at best, like faking being autistic having cancer ect, it's always the craziest in the community who became the poster girl a fuel for the negative stereotypes
I'm a transwoman that doesn't pass, though admittedly that's mostly because there's nothing I can do towards physical transition in my current situation. The truth is, I present as my preferred gender online, and my birth gender in real life (except for the few people I trust to tell my real identity). It just... doesn't really seem worth it to try and present as a woman in real life if everyone is just going to see a man, anyway. The way I feel about it is, unless I pass, I'm basically asking the person to play a D&D game with where they pretend I rolled a female character, but somehow take it very seriously... and honestly, I get why, you know? I mean, we can talk about things like privilege and fairness all day, but the fact is, no amount of compassion can really change the fact that a non-passing transwoman is not going to be seen as a woman in the same way, and it's because people associate womanhood with a certain look almost instinctively through years of exposure. Sure, people might use the pronouns to be polite, but you can tell by their body language and such that they don't quite buy it and it feels weird to them.
Ive met a few who pass really well. Usually finer featured women,with no noticeable adams apple and not as tall. One girl i can think of started female hormones at 16 ,so she never got facial hair.She's now 20,and looks completely female,although she has a baritone voice,despite not having an adams apple.
As an autistic cis woman, I just can’t understand why people can’t just see others as the gender they ask to be seen as? I don’t really have a solid concept of what makes someone “look” feminine or masculine, so it’s quite easy to just go “oh ok” and start seeing them as they have asked to be seen- even if the language takes a moment to catch up. And even if it’s hard for some people to change the way they view someone, I can’t understand why they wouldn’t just, you know, respect that person anyway? Why would you want to disrespect someone so fundamentally, by denying who they are? I just can’t understand it. Even if you don’t understand, you at least know that referring to that person the way they wish will make them happy, so why on earth wouldn’t you?
What’s your skincare routine?
@@user-xy4ff5yp7b sulfur face wash, hyaluronic acid and spf moisturiser and aloe vera for make up primer!
Well said Miss Malibu your very right 100%. And your very beautiful and pass very well. ❤🙂 As a trans woman, It does suck when you do get misgendered, and haven't been misgendered in over a year which I'm happy about because I do pass good enough. But do understand the frustration that some trans women go through to pass.
@@rachelmaurer888 thank you 🩷
I totally see where you want to come to this argument but it’s just not right. No one hates elphaba because of “not passing”, it’s because of the many many years of illegal scams, slurs, derogatory to nearly anyone she has collabed with / has exploited austistic people and a safe space for them to benefit her (autism’s got talent) and no, I respect all trans people, but if a HUMAN is being disgusting call that HUMAN out.
Elphaba has done enough detrimental damage to the trans commmunity and this video is another way to enable her behaviour.
I think I need to do a video recapping her history again just so people don’t try to give this predator a platform.
I know that's true but all of the comments on her neighbours videos were misgendering her and really transphobic. She may need calling out but the misgendering is an issue to me.
I guess I am serving androgeny, as everyone guesses that I am transgender, but people ask if I am MTF or FTM.
Passing is incredibly important and should not be looked down on , whilst i agree due to economic circumstances, some people might not (due to genetics or puberty) have the right features to pass, thats why we have to work together with medical insituitions to make health care accessible, the notion that no one should ever have to medically transition is nonsense in my opinion, as its the only actual way to get physical characteristics of "the female" we need more clinics with cheap quality hormone therapy accessible to transwomen and transmen, we cannot have this discussion without acknowledging that medical care is very important, i used to work with a so called "transwomen" i had no surgeries or hormones at the time (money reasons) i still passed ,whilst they walked around with a pro noun badge, deep masculine voice, 6 foot huge bulky muscles, im sorry but even i as a transwomen would be uncomfortable seeing that in a public bathroom. It is important that transwomen and transmen understand that to integrate into society and not be classified as a pred, is to make the effort no matter what, ( transmedicilist) is a term i really dont like the trans community using to hate on trans people who say we need medical treatment, the only ones saying we dont need to transition medically are ultra woke trans people and men or women that are literally just preds.
We need to come together as a community and promote medical transition for everyone rather than telling lies that a full-grown bearded man wearing a pronoun badge can enter womens spaces just because he says so.
The left is truly failing in this understanding and the community and general, and it's so sad to see.
I know it's going to get worse under trumps presidency for trans people, but in the uk, we are quite lucky, we need to build our own clinics and give health care to every transperson who needs it, people in the uk are having to wait ridiculous times just to get an appointment, private is ridiculously expensive. We need more systems in place to support us but unfortunately theres way too many fake allies just paying lip service to how much they love us and not supporting with any thing substantial. People like to call themselves allies but in reality they just like the feeling of what saying that means rather than doing anything meaningful.
@@dl-vb4vm I mean I get what you're saying and I feel like every genuine trans woman does want to medically transition, it’s just that the way things are its not always that easy for everyone to do. I also feel like it is important for any trans person in the beginning of their transition to take their time with certain things so they can be sure they're making the right decisions.
I think its important to remember all of that and respect those people who may not pass yet for whatever reason.
You always understand Malibu your videos are brilliant ❤👍👍
Malibu ,you are very beautiful .and you do pass ,very well. X
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'Passing' is a example of eugenics for transitioners. Thanks for sharing your feelings.
“It's difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on not understanding”.
If you are going to attempt to use every buzz word or catch phrase on the topic and then attempt to dance around the topic without addressing it then you will never get an answer.
@@Correctinallarguments. what did I dance around?
What salary? Are people getting paid to be superficial?
@@voltijuice8576 it’s a quote by Upton Sinclair born in the 1800’s, it can be used for many things. But in this case the video goes around the whole point with out even looking at what the real and true point is.
So therefore the point stands, if you can face the problem head on, look at it honestly and take accountability for it then you will always be left with many videos like this which will attempt to not address the point and will try to work out what the “real” problem of the issue is.
@@MalibuBarbiieDelish you haven’t addressed the issue at hand, the real problem and avoiding the truth of the matter. By doing this then all you will have left is looking for answers that you’re just never going to find and turning your mind in knots because the answers just don’t and won’t add up.
Address the real issue, get real answers. Or don’t address the real issue and suffer a life time of pain because you can’t make a square a circle no matter how much you try.
If you’re a transsexual, you should absolutely work towards passability. It’s not women’s fault you look exactly like your biological sex. No woman should be ok with a male looking, trans identified man in their space. It’s not a woman’s issue.
@@Whateverxo56 I fear you’ve missed the point. Of course trans women want to pass, the problem is it’s not always something that can be fixed easily or sometimes ever. People deserve respect none the less.
How did you make yourself a victim in this situation? Mental gymnastics level 100/100.
No argument here. Pass, not pass who gives a....Trans...many & different beautiful forms🩵🩷