I get you. Two things that worked for me when I was suicidal was 1. Thinking about how sad I would be if someone I love killed themself, even if you think that noone would care if you died I promise someone does love you. I know it sounds strange but thinking that I was selfish for thinking about killing myself accually stopped me from doing anything. The second thing that helped me was talking to a professional about it.
many blessings to you...i wrote a book on healing this if you are interested. If you can't afford it - hit me up, and I will get you a digital copy - Surviving Suicidal Ideation From Therapy to Spirituality and the Lived Experience. I am the lived experience and I've been able to heal myself.
Take it day by day... Try and cherish the little things that are in your way right now... Death, will be inevitable so there's that... accept God if it brings you comfort 😊 stay safe and God Bless You ❤ I hope you receive good luck and have a nice life.
One of my childhood friends died by suicide two weeks ago, 30 days after her 16 year old daughter died by suicide. I'm here because I'm trying to make sense of it.
Such a tragedy for you and all of their family and friends 👪 trying to cope with this I have had 2 people In my family die from suicide ..life is hard..be kind to one another never know what other person is going through ..and I want to say pray for peace for each other !
Oh my goodness that is beyond horrible. Suicide is such a sad thing because so often we genuinely do not understand why it’s happened and are often left without any answers.
I think it's normal to have flashes of suicidal thoughts in a world like this. People that act like everything is peaches and pie are the ones we need to worry about.
Ocd is obsessive intrusive thoughts and images. I was diagnosed with it. It’s a very rough and scary subject to talk about and this episode made me cry because I’ve been struggling with it since I was 18 years old, I’m now 39. I hope she finds peace with it soon and doesn’t struggle with it as long as I have.
No the ocd thing is real, It might not be ocd ocd but its a type where you just get weird thoughts. I have it and it makes me overthink random ass things and the worst part is all the thoughts usually go against your morals or are scary, but in this case if the girl is acting out on these thoughts theres probobly more to it then ocd.
When she said her daughter might deserve better ... Oh my heart ... I felt myself thinking, "So do you, her mom! So do YOU!" Praying she follows up for the sake of the wonderful life she has ahead.
I really appreciate how John makes tough or traditionally taboo subjects something people can openly talk about because so much good comes from being able to show that these things often are normal among many people and don’t make you crazy. And that’s such a helpful thing for people to help them learn they aren’t insane and shows them there’s hope they may not otherwise think exists.
Yea, the last therapist I was assigned was young and didn’t even care. She was there for a paycheck and I shutdown and Neva went back. Before that, they tried to assign me pills for psychotic individuals that I would Neva take and got tired of lying every week telling them I was taking it
@maximwilson1482 Better Help's two or 3 i tried was the worst of all 10 or 11 therapists I've tried. They really run the dammit. Only like 3 of the 11 ish I've seen were really good. But they were indeed really good and I'm very grateful for them.
There are some really terrific therapists out there. I am very thankful for the professionals that crossed my paths after an abusive relationship. They really helped.
God, I heard the pain in her voice when she mentioned her grandfather, then her parents... more concerned with saving face then protecting their own daughter. I pray she overcomes these demons.
I also have random thoughts like this. I think it’s more common than people think. It’s good to know that it’s all in our head and the reality is you don’t want to actually harm yourself. Although it is crazy where the mind chooses to wander. Very courageous to open up like this!
I experience the same. But I think is more when I’m sad, or depressed. I talk myself out of it. Like shake it off! Don’t think about those things, you’re not that kind of person. That’s what I say to myself
"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." - II Corinthians 10:5
I had suicidal thoughts and started to talk to a professional, I also worked less hours for about 6 months during that time. Looking back, I don't know when it happened but the bad thoughts went away. The strange thing is that I today find it strange or even wrong that I have felt good for a realy long time now. I don't remember the last time I was sad or had negative thoughts about myself. It almost scares me that I don't feel sad because I felt it for so long that it almost became normal. I think that the brain can become somewhat addicted to strong emotions like sadness. I find myself wanting to be sad and I remember almost fighting against feeling better when I was depressed because it was like a security blanket. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can't trust your brain when it comes to emotions, it always overreacts!
@@dl6043 I live in Sweden so sadly they aren't available to you unless you live here. I'm sorry to hear that you haven't found anyone that works for you. The only think I can say is that it was talking about it that helped me. I would say this: Find someone you feel like you can talk to. A professional would be best but if you find a family member that works too. It is hard at first to start opening up in fear of judgement or what they will say. The hard thing is sticking with it. I had times that I was so frustrated that the therapist didn't say what I wanted to hear or asked questions that irritated me, but I could see after that it was a way to make me look inside myself. No matter if you believe that the cause of your thoughts are from the outside, the point of therapy is to look inside. Because the reason you want to hurt yourself is not because of the outside world, it is because of your own mind convincing you that whatever people around you say about you or do to you is true and that you deserve it (which you don't). For therapy to work you need to want to look inside yourself, tell someone about all the bad thoughts that you have, and tell them of what you fear, even if you feel like they are going to think that it is ridiculous. My fears was that they were going to think that I was overreacting and that what I was feeling wasn't that bad, "everyone feels like that"-thing. I also feared that it was going to be a huge thing and I was going to be put in hospital and my mum had to find out I was having mental health problems (because I have cats and someone would have to take care of them). Non of that happened. It is hard looking inside yourself. Also, ask them to take some blood samples, lack in vitamin D and other things can cause depression. I want to end this with: try to talk to someone again and stick with it, even if you think it's not working and especially when you want to leave/change therapist; don't! stay! You probably want to change because they hit a nerve and you want to run away. I hope you find the help that you need!
Glad to hear this talked out. Having been abused and feeling like a burden has led me to these thoughts before. Thankful for my relationship with God and my pastor and some older godly ladies that helped me through it. So glad we don’t have to be afraid to talk about this.
Healings strength through the Lord Jesus Christ for this young lady! Rebuking evil thoughts ideas from this young lady to be safe a Loving wife mother! Safety throughout her Life through the Lord Jesus Christ!
Escape fantasies are a coping mechanism for depression which also feedback and fuel more depression. Depression is more a symptom of not being able to function healthily in a toxic society. The only cure is to experience personal growth in an upwards direction but the way to achieve it is not what the storybook tells you, having dreams and goals only takes the wind out of the sale when it feels like they are futile and impossible or too far away. Seeking therapy might work for some people, but only of they identify and steer towards the root cause for the individual, which is unfulfilled needs (be they socially, financially, sexually, professionally, creatively etc). Trauma certainly is a big obstacle but it's only insurmountable as we make it in our own psyche.
Thank you Victoria, this conversation could have been me as far as the family abuse goes, but there is much more. Unfortunately I did not get the right help as I got older, a few husbands and no children later I am alone and still struggling, but making progress. Tons of baggage, I do have someone to talk to and her listening has made all the difference over the last two years. I am in my 60's and though I have the thoughts, (which started around first or second grade) I could not burden the people I love with guilt, I can't make them feel like they may have had a hand in my decision.
Suicidal thoughts are in my mind every single day and I literally praying for death while I still wake up and I am trying to understand why. To just suffer more or? I dont know 🤷♂️
John, you should take about medical aid in dying. What folks do when they are terminally ill and would like to exercise some control over their dying process. Beyond that, you should talk about what is happening outside of the U.S. with people who feel like they have completed their life: in Canada, in Switzerland, in Belgium, in The Netherlands. It's not trauma, it's life.
Maybe I have a problem, too. I have literally thought the same things my entire life. "What if I just turned the wheel of my car and got into a head-on collision with the car going the opposite direction?" "What if I jumped off of this cliff right now?" I always assumed that these thoughts were totally normal.
Sometimes the intrusive thoughts are more like a form of OCD or anxiety, a huge fear of death. But no, I don't think about those things when I'm driving. I've never had most of these thoughts but I do feel scared about how dangerous certain things are very occasionally. It's not "what if I stabbed myself" level stuff though. It's not turning into oncoming traffic but it's being impressed horrific accidents don't happen even more often.
you'd risk other people's lives too? sounds like lack of gratitude for life itself. train to appreciate small things and allow yourself to feel good even if its just because you smelled flowers in the breeze or another simplicity. anything can be joy if you allow it, frame it that way.
I wonder if John knows how common it is for the helpline folks to tell you you are wasting their time if you are not an immanent threat to yourself...😢 I have heard that over and over again and it makes me both sick, and avoid those calls despite the shitty thoughts in my head.
Aww big hugs for a brave mama. How many new moms struggle & don't make this call but needed it. That holding the knife thing brought memories from my 1st pregnancy 24yrs ago. Never told anybody never got help would have been nice to not suffer so much so long alone if it was just talked about more.
I must share that I believe three things on this topic. We have an enemy of souls. And a ready Savior. That’s one. Two is the enemy of souls tries this on all of us. Three, these thoughts injure the melancholy character type more readily.
Man this is deep. My mom, sister brothers and myself were abused by my father growing up. My father had a revolver and he threatened to use it on us. Social Services removed us from the house 2 times for the abuse. I am 54 now but have struggled with that all my life. I do have 2 kids and am proud to say that I raised my kids differently and never touched them out of anger. I did not want them growing up like I did. My wife came from a really happy family so she never understood how I grew up. I have been a work alcoholic all my life so my wife could stay home with the kids. I have missed a lot of things with my kids growing up so they could have a good life. My son has a issue with that and really resents me. My kids are now adults still living at home with us. In 2013 I was involved in a bad work accident that has required 3 surgeries to date and I still need to go for another. This accident has left me on permanent disability. Now that I am unable to work my life has been rough. My kids do not respect me, my wife does not respect me. My son regularly tells me to F**k off. My wife laughs when he does that. They make rude comments that I do not make enough money on disability. All my life I have suffered from some sort of depression. My depression has 10 folded because I can not work and provide my family with the life they had before my work injury. I feel like a burden to them. Lately I have been having suicidal thoughts. I have tried talking to my wife about this but she tells me to be a man and smarten up. So I know exactly what this caller is going through. Luckily I have a really good Dr. that keeps me grounded for the most part. I see him monthly. I had to give up all my friends when I got married so talking to someone about this is impossible. Life can really stink at times and I really hope I can pull through to see the other side.
Can you find some social services through your surgeon, or a church? Counseling and/or medication might help. Go by yourself first, then ask your wife to go. Your ADULT kids need a deadline to move out, they need to launch their own lives.
Thank you Victoria, I hope life has treated you well since you called. I'm in a similiar boat. I've been dealing with chronic illnesses for the last few years and things keep getting worse and keep colecting more. I see how hard it is on my family, my kids crying because I can't be there for them often or make it to their school events. I see the stress it puts on my husband and how much harder he has to work. I keep having to remind myself life would be harder for them if I was gone... But that voice that keeps sayibg they'd be better off with a healthy mom, someone who can do things regularly, gets loud. Especially when one of my husband's friends gave me a 30 minute lecture on how I needed to get better, because how much I of a burden I am on my in-laws, kids, and especially my husband. Then later to just have doctor after doctor after doctor telling me there is nothing they can do, because the treatment would negativly effect my other health condition. It's one nasty jigsaw puzzle. And the thing that scares me the most, is all I have to do is stop trying so hard. Forget a few pills here and there, eat what I actually want to for a little too long... I'm so tired of fighting... But they need me.
I really adore Dr John - I am so lucky that I healed my SI, and I want to form an anonymous group to support people! I wrote a book on it too and how I healed it! Surviving Suicidal Ideation! My thoughts to all who are feeling this way. I understand. I had to learn how to love myself.
We all have two wolves within us we can feed. We have a nice, good wolf and bad, mean wolf. We can choose to feed one or the other. Not literally wolves within us, but figuratively.
I just started listening, from my understanding about suicide it’s done immediately. BTW, don’t choose that! You have so much to share with others. My interest now is more about choosing dignity in dying by choice. But that needs to be fully understood by those who are choosing to do this. Some are in extremely hard times, and sometimes what hurts me, I remember what other people are going through.
Many people have thoughts like this. It’s commonly known as “the void” there is a psychological term for it but can’t think of it right now. It’s like standing on a roof and feeling the urge to jump even when you don’t want to. You don’t want to do any of these things but the curiosity is so strong you actually stop and consider it a moment.
These are called intrusive thoughts. It’s a part of anxiety related to OCD. May also be connected to the Freudian Death Drive if you wish to look at this from a psychodynamic perspective. Hope this helps.
In the past, I've been perched on that crumbling precipice overlooking the abyss, seeing no way forward. I was saved by the love and support of my Dear (late) Wife, and my two wonderful brothers. I am greatly blessed.
Ooo Dr. Thomas Joiner is his favorite suicide researcher and after a close friend of mine perpetrated a murder-suicide, killing his wife and then himself, Thomas Joiner became my favorite one too! His book on understanding murder-suicide was so helpful and brilliant. Seriously. It helped me move past the trauma i was stuck it. Past the confusion and guilt and shame over platonically loving this man who ended up committing such an evil act.
I am so close to throwing in the towel and every video I watch hoping for a Lil nugget that will change my life... I get go talk to somebody lol or something to do with friends.... I can literally barely afford to live and I have nothing... my kids/husband could really use a check...
My suicidal thoughts are not anyone else problems but my own id never tell either it creates to much stress for the other person. If I get beat I get beat. I like to think of it as man to man coverage with no safety help.
I have always had those thoughts since I was a kid.., I have attempted 3 times, then I am even more down on myself because I failed. But the thoughts go on and on. I have depression, anxiety and was diagnosed with ADHD a couple years ago. This makes me angry because my life makes my life make so much sense now and if I would have been treated, my life could have so much better and I could have been a better mother. I dealt with emotional neglect as a child and my best friend of 46 years died of pancreatic cancer and my brother, that I was close to died the year after. I have no friends because I feel I don’t fit in anywhere. I am married, 49 years but when I talk to him, he wants to fix it and that doesn’t help at all. I do take medication and see a therapist… but the feels never goes away.
2021 was the hardest, darkest time of my life. I was physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually BROKEN. But now I feel genuinely GRATEFUL and BLESSED that I had to go through that phase because GOD has graciously REVEALED Himself to me in miraculous ways. I am fortunate that He allowed me to know Him at a very young age, but this year is SPECIAL because of what WE (yes, GOD and me) have been through last year. He showed me how POWERFUL prayers truly are when I started to focus on WHO HE IS rather than who I am, on WHAT HE CAN DO rather than what I deserve. The experience was MAGICAL. He showed up BIG TIME and assured me that HE is indeed a LISTENING and RESPONDING GOD. Oh how my faith has skyrocketed as a result! Now more than ever, I have very bright HOPE for my future because I personally experienced how RELIABLE God is. And for that I will forever be grateful. GLORY BE TO GOD, MY EVER FAITHFUL FATHER. ♥️♥️♥️ To everyone who's struggling right now, please know that GOD LOVES YOU. He wants to help you and give you peace. Please surrender your burdens to Him and allow Him to move in your life. "Because he loves Me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges My Name. He will call on Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him." (Psalm 91:14-15) Please hold on to this bible verse because WHATEVER GOD SAYS, HE FULFILLS. ✝️
Learning TIP skills helped me. It's one way to bring down emotional arousal when you're having a bad night. (Though I recommend talking with a doctor before trying some of the skills if you have a heart condition or are on beta blockers). Now Matters Now has some good videos on this. It's also a good idea to remove lethal means and create a safety plan.
For the caller and all other thinking the same thoughts - please look into Neurofeedback therapy for these looping reoccurring suicidal thoughts. It saved my life and I know it can do the same for you! 💖
Watch the Bluey episode - Baby Race, it's a great episode to show that as parents we focus on how inadequate we are, as our children se us as their whole wide world and we're missing it.
I love how she describes it, ive experienced this since i was a child and thought it was normal. Its been very scary sometimes....especially when i have to stop walking down the stairs because my brain imagines me throwing myself down the stairs
Victoria, if you are reading this - I recommend that you see a psychiatrist first before a counselor if you are open to getting a diagnosis and treatment. Make sure your treatment correlates with your therapy too. Unfortunately some mental health professionals care about money so its going to take some time. Good luck!
Psychiatry is a cult that uses drugs to manipulate it's subjects. VERY risky, dangerous suggestion. Trauma informed, holistic talk therapy is a much SAFER and successful option.
@stellarocquie7957 yeah I would NOT recommend addictive numbing antidepressants. Therapy without meds is all most people need but they need the right modality of therapy and good therapy.
I deal with problems and negative things with laughter as well... It causes me LOTS of problems with other people as they think im weird? I mean I will joke about someones death with laughter.... I kinda hate it, but thats me..
Yep, that's probably a Devil speaking to her. I'm an educated person, in university and I'd consider myself quite responsible as well, but im also aware of spiritual things. Grace be with her.
"soothe my baby" she said. It sounds like she may be post partum? I haven't listened to the whole video yet but it's important to distinguish how long this has been going on. Post partum is certainly no joke, my wife suffered a great deal for about a year after the birth of our son.
I feel for the lady. Doc is right, she is better off With her than with another woman..worst case scenario the next lady to watch her child can be like her own mom.
That's demonic i used to get thoughts like that I've neve been suicidal either. One time it got so bad i got deliverance and it was a spirit that was casted out. I know there are not christians on here but guys this is very spiritual if it's so random.
I am scared of living and scared of dying. Trying to find courage for now.
?
I don't know how to live
I get you. Two things that worked for me when I was suicidal was 1. Thinking about how sad I would be if someone I love killed themself, even if you think that noone would care if you died I promise someone does love you. I know it sounds strange but thinking that I was selfish for thinking about killing myself accually stopped me from doing anything. The second thing that helped me was talking to a professional about it.
many blessings to you...i wrote a book on healing this if you are interested. If you can't afford it - hit me up, and I will get you a digital copy - Surviving Suicidal Ideation From Therapy to Spirituality and the Lived Experience. I am the lived experience and I've been able to heal myself.
Take it day by day... Try and cherish the little things that are in your way right now... Death, will be inevitable so there's that... accept God if it brings you comfort 😊 stay safe and God Bless You ❤ I hope you receive good luck and have a nice life.
One of my childhood friends died by suicide two weeks ago, 30 days after her 16 year old daughter died by suicide. I'm here because I'm trying to make sense of it.
Sounds like Daisy and Melinda Coleman. RIP to all of them.
So sorry
I'm deeply sorry
Such a tragedy for you and all of their family and friends 👪 trying to cope with this I have had 2 people In my family die from suicide ..life is hard..be kind to one another never know what other person is going through ..and I want to say pray for peace for each other !
Oh my goodness that is beyond horrible. Suicide is such a sad thing because so often we genuinely do not understand why it’s happened and are often left without any answers.
I thought I was the only 1 having a weird quick thought like that.....but would never do it. I wish her well.
Me too. I just thought I was having a dumb moment.
Intrusive thoughts are very common.
Its called "ideation"
I think it's normal to have flashes of suicidal thoughts in a world like this. People that act like everything is peaches and pie are the ones we need to worry about.
🤔🤔
That happens to me almost daily. I'm glad this is being talked about openly.
P.S: I love her realness and how articulate she is expressing her ideas.
Ocd is obsessive intrusive thoughts and images. I was diagnosed with it. It’s a very rough and scary subject to talk about and this episode made me cry because I’ve been struggling with it since I was 18 years old, I’m now 39. I hope she finds peace with it soon and doesn’t struggle with it as long as I have.
I don't think she has OCD. I think she's suicidal. It's a continuum.
No the ocd thing is real, It might not be ocd ocd but its a type where you just get weird thoughts. I have it and it makes me overthink random ass things and the worst part is all the thoughts usually go against your morals or are scary, but in this case if the girl is acting out on these thoughts theres probobly more to it then ocd.
When she said her daughter might deserve better ... Oh my heart ... I felt myself thinking, "So do you, her mom! So do YOU!" Praying she follows up for the sake of the wonderful life she has ahead.
I really appreciate how John makes tough or traditionally taboo subjects something people can openly talk about because so much good comes from being able to show that these things often are normal among many people and don’t make you crazy. And that’s such a helpful thing for people to help them learn they aren’t insane and shows them there’s hope they may not otherwise think exists.
One thing I can really relate to here (among others) is the difficulty in finding the right therapist; I’ve big time struggled w/ that!
Same.. I've come to the conclusion that the online services (ie the inexpensive online therapy platforms) are not worth it.
Yea, the last therapist I was assigned was young and didn’t even care. She was there for a paycheck and I shutdown and Neva went back. Before that, they tried to assign me pills for psychotic individuals that I would Neva take and got tired of lying every week telling them I was taking it
@maximwilson1482 Better Help's two or 3 i tried was the worst of all 10 or 11 therapists I've tried. They really run the dammit. Only like 3 of the 11 ish I've seen were really good. But they were indeed really good and I'm very grateful for them.
Oh dear.😔
There are some really terrific therapists out there. I am very thankful for the professionals that crossed my paths after an abusive relationship. They really helped.
❤
As someone that has dealt with loved ones that have sexual abuse and suicidal issues this is an absolutely great call and response from Delony.
God, I heard the pain in her voice when she mentioned her grandfather, then her parents... more concerned with saving face then protecting their own daughter. I pray she overcomes these demons.
Some powerful stuff here but a great episode. I'm not sure words can describe the power of the work that Delony and those like him do everyday.
I also have random thoughts like this. I think it’s more common than people think. It’s good to know that it’s all in our head and the reality is you don’t want to actually harm yourself. Although it is crazy where the mind chooses to wander. Very courageous to open up like this!
I experience the same. But I think is more when I’m sad, or depressed. I talk myself out of it. Like shake it off! Don’t think about those things, you’re not that kind of person. That’s what I say to myself
Good for you.
"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." - II Corinthians 10:5
Enough with the scripture. Totally inappropriate
Thanks for this.
@@Caprivlogs very appropriate actually.
Totally appropriate and applicable if you understand the scripture.
Exactly! You need to renew your mind. And that is by the Word of GOD and by faith in the living word (Jesus).
I had suicidal thoughts and started to talk to a professional, I also worked less hours for about 6 months during that time. Looking back, I don't know when it happened but the bad thoughts went away. The strange thing is that I today find it strange or even wrong that I have felt good for a realy long time now. I don't remember the last time I was sad or had negative thoughts about myself. It almost scares me that I don't feel sad because I felt it for so long that it almost became normal. I think that the brain can become somewhat addicted to strong emotions like sadness. I find myself wanting to be sad and I remember almost fighting against feeling better when I was depressed because it was like a security blanket.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can't trust your brain when it comes to emotions, it always overreacts!
Who did you work with? I struggle with the same issue I’m pretty desperate and have tried multiple therapists with no luck feeling pretty hopeless
@@dl6043 I live in Sweden so sadly they aren't available to you unless you live here. I'm sorry to hear that you haven't found anyone that works for you. The only think I can say is that it was talking about it that helped me. I would say this:
Find someone you feel like you can talk to. A professional would be best but if you find a family member that works too. It is hard at first to start opening up in fear of judgement or what they will say. The hard thing is sticking with it. I had times that I was so frustrated that the therapist didn't say what I wanted to hear or asked questions that irritated me, but I could see after that it was a way to make me look inside myself. No matter if you believe that the cause of your thoughts are from the outside, the point of therapy is to look inside. Because the reason you want to hurt yourself is not because of the outside world, it is because of your own mind convincing you that whatever people around you say about you or do to you is true and that you deserve it (which you don't).
For therapy to work you need to want to look inside yourself, tell someone about all the bad thoughts that you have, and tell them of what you fear, even if you feel like they are going to think that it is ridiculous. My fears was that they were going to think that I was overreacting and that what I was feeling wasn't that bad, "everyone feels like that"-thing. I also feared that it was going to be a huge thing and I was going to be put in hospital and my mum had to find out I was having mental health problems (because I have cats and someone would have to take care of them). Non of that happened.
It is hard looking inside yourself.
Also, ask them to take some blood samples, lack in vitamin D and other things can cause depression.
I want to end this with: try to talk to someone again and stick with it, even if you think it's not working and especially when you want to leave/change therapist; don't! stay! You probably want to change because they hit a nerve and you want to run away.
I hope you find the help that you need!
Glad to hear this talked out. Having been abused and feeling like a burden has led me to these thoughts before. Thankful for my relationship with God and my pastor and some older godly ladies that helped me through it. So glad we don’t have to be afraid to talk about this.
Truly thankyou for calling in, knowing I’m not alone ❤
Learned a lot about myself through her story. Thanks for the transparency!
Crazy i am here listening to this tonight..........So much can be said but here i sit in silence
I don’t think she has depression for thinking these thoughts it’s more anxiety. I have the exact problem.
she is beyond those! she is suicidal. it has escalated, anxiety doesn't make you want to stab yourself. depression causes that
@@shachede6828 agreed. she's suicidal but deep in denial about it. i hope she gets better. she seems like a good person.
Healings strength through the Lord Jesus Christ for this young lady! Rebuking evil thoughts ideas from this young lady to be safe a Loving wife mother! Safety throughout her Life through the Lord Jesus Christ!
Victoria I really hope you get help. You are worth it.
Escape fantasies are a coping mechanism for depression which also feedback and fuel more depression. Depression is more a symptom of not being able to function healthily in a toxic society. The only cure is to experience personal growth in an upwards direction but the way to achieve it is not what the storybook tells you, having dreams and goals only takes the wind out of the sale when it feels like they are futile and impossible or too far away. Seeking therapy might work for some people, but only of they identify and steer towards the root cause for the individual, which is unfulfilled needs (be they socially, financially, sexually, professionally, creatively etc). Trauma certainly is a big obstacle but it's only insurmountable as we make it in our own psyche.
I thought that too...but now I have all I ever wanted and it changed nothing about how I feel inside
Practice gratitude? @@kris2455
@@kris2455 gratitude.
I totally GET where she is coming from. Victoria, you are my hero girl.
Thank you Victoria, this conversation could have been me as far as the family abuse goes, but there is much more. Unfortunately I did not get the right help as I got older, a few husbands and no children later I am alone and still struggling, but making progress. Tons of baggage, I do have someone to talk to and her listening has made all the difference over the last two years. I am in my 60's and though I have the thoughts, (which started around first or second grade) I could not burden the people I love with guilt, I can't make them feel like they may have had a hand in my decision.
Suicidal thoughts are in my mind every single day and I literally praying for death while I still wake up and I am trying to understand why. To just suffer more or? I dont know 🤷♂️
I care. I wish I could comfort you. I get it.
@@lizbits9339 It's alright, I sort of starting to getting used to fact that probably it will never be better.
Brave girl, Victoria. I am on that same ride. I hope for all the best for you.
I love Dr. John man. He is so thoughtful.
I’m glad she called. Too many people can relate.
John, you should take about medical aid in dying. What folks do when they are terminally ill and would like to exercise some control over their dying process.
Beyond that, you should talk about what is happening outside of the U.S. with people who feel like they have completed their life: in Canada, in Switzerland, in Belgium, in The Netherlands.
It's not trauma, it's life.
Maybe I have a problem, too. I have literally thought the same things my entire life. "What if I just turned the wheel of my car and got into a head-on collision with the car going the opposite direction?" "What if I jumped off of this cliff right now?" I always assumed that these thoughts were totally normal.
Not abnormal as he said, just not normal
I have these too.
Sometimes the intrusive thoughts are more like a form of OCD or anxiety, a huge fear of death. But no, I don't think about those things when I'm driving. I've never had most of these thoughts but I do feel scared about how dangerous certain things are very occasionally. It's not "what if I stabbed myself" level stuff though. It's not turning into oncoming traffic but it's being impressed horrific accidents don't happen even more often.
you'd risk other people's lives too? sounds like lack of gratitude for life itself. train to appreciate small things and allow yourself to feel good even if its just because you smelled flowers in the breeze or another simplicity. anything can be joy if you allow it, frame it that way.
Thank you Dr John you are amazing.
I wonder if John knows how common it is for the helpline folks to tell you you are wasting their time if you are not an immanent threat to yourself...😢 I have heard that over and over again and it makes me both sick, and avoid those calls despite the shitty thoughts in my head.
Aww big hugs for a brave mama. How many new moms struggle & don't make this call but needed it. That holding the knife thing brought memories from my 1st pregnancy 24yrs ago. Never told anybody never got help would have been nice to not suffer so much so long alone if it was just talked about more.
The caller got some great advice, I hope she really does follow up on it!
I must share that I believe three things on this topic. We have an enemy of souls. And a ready Savior. That’s one. Two is the enemy of souls tries this on all of us. Three, these thoughts injure the melancholy character type more readily.
Man this is deep. My mom, sister brothers and myself were abused by my father growing up. My father had a revolver and he threatened to use it on us. Social Services removed us from the house 2 times for the abuse. I am 54 now but have struggled with that all my life. I do have 2 kids and am proud to say that I raised my kids differently and never touched them out of anger. I did not want them growing up like I did. My wife came from a really happy family so she never understood how I grew up. I have been a work alcoholic all my life so my wife could stay home with the kids. I have missed a lot of things with my kids growing up so they could have a good life. My son has a issue with that and really resents me. My kids are now adults still living at home with us. In 2013 I was involved in a bad work accident that has required 3 surgeries to date and I still need to go for another. This accident has left me on permanent disability. Now that I am unable to work my life has been rough. My kids do not respect me, my wife does not respect me. My son regularly tells me to F**k off. My wife laughs when he does that. They make rude comments that I do not make enough money on disability. All my life I have suffered from some sort of depression. My depression has 10 folded because I can not work and provide my family with the life they had before my work injury. I feel like a burden to them. Lately I have been having suicidal thoughts. I have tried talking to my wife about this but she tells me to be a man and smarten up. So I know exactly what this caller is going through. Luckily I have a really good Dr. that keeps me grounded for the most part. I see him monthly. I had to give up all my friends when I got married so talking to someone about this is impossible. Life can really stink at times and I really hope I can pull through to see the other side.
I’m so sorry man, I wish I could help
Can you find some social services through your surgeon, or a church? Counseling and/or medication might help. Go by yourself first, then ask your wife to go.
Your ADULT kids need a deadline to move out, they need to launch their own lives.
Thank you Victoria, I hope life has treated you well since you called. I'm in a similiar boat. I've been dealing with chronic illnesses for the last few years and things keep getting worse and keep colecting more. I see how hard it is on my family, my kids crying because I can't be there for them often or make it to their school events. I see the stress it puts on my husband and how much harder he has to work. I keep having to remind myself life would be harder for them if I was gone... But that voice that keeps sayibg they'd be better off with a healthy mom, someone who can do things regularly, gets loud. Especially when one of my husband's friends gave me a 30 minute lecture on how I needed to get better, because how much I of a burden I am on my in-laws, kids, and especially my husband. Then later to just have doctor after doctor after doctor telling me there is nothing they can do, because the treatment would negativly effect my other health condition. It's one nasty jigsaw puzzle. And the thing that scares me the most, is all I have to do is stop trying so hard. Forget a few pills here and there, eat what I actually want to for a little too long... I'm so tired of fighting... But they need me.
I really adore Dr John - I am so lucky that I healed my SI, and I want to form an anonymous group to support people! I wrote a book on it too and how I healed it! Surviving Suicidal Ideation! My thoughts to all who are feeling this way. I understand. I had to learn how to love myself.
Wow. I didn't know other people experienced this as well.
Thank you so much for this. I needed to hear it
We all have two wolves within us we can feed. We have a nice, good wolf and bad, mean wolf. We can choose to feed one or the other. Not literally wolves within us, but figuratively.
The dangerous wolf is our shadow side. Good people learn to control that dog. Just thoughts from Carl Jung about the shadow.
I'm kinda there right now. Been a hell of a last 18 months and I'm just tired.
I just started listening, from my understanding about suicide it’s done immediately. BTW, don’t choose that! You have so much to share with others.
My interest now is more about choosing dignity in dying by choice. But that needs to be fully understood by those who are choosing to do this.
Some are in extremely hard times, and sometimes what hurts me, I remember what other people are going through.
This woman is brave you are in my heart! I had childhood abuse too and I wish you healing
Many people have thoughts like this. It’s commonly known as “the void” there is a psychological term for it but can’t think of it right now. It’s like standing on a roof and feeling the urge to jump even when you don’t want to. You don’t want to do any of these things but the curiosity is so strong you actually stop and consider it a moment.
These are called intrusive thoughts. It’s a part of anxiety related to OCD. May also be connected to the Freudian Death Drive if you wish to look at this from a psychodynamic perspective. Hope this helps.
I have these thoughts everyday! I fight it though telling myself it’s selfish. But this world really does suck and I would love to go.. 😢
In the past, I've been perched on that crumbling precipice overlooking the abyss, seeing no way forward. I was saved by the love and support of my Dear (late) Wife, and my two wonderful brothers. I am greatly blessed.
That first line is amazingly well written. That's a great way to describe it. Sorry for the loss of your wife. Hope you are doing well
Thank you so much, Dr John. 😞😔
Powerful ! Thankyou John Delony
Ooo Dr. Thomas Joiner is his favorite suicide researcher and after a close friend of mine perpetrated a murder-suicide, killing his wife and then himself, Thomas Joiner became my favorite one too! His book on understanding murder-suicide was so helpful and brilliant. Seriously. It helped me move past the trauma i was stuck it. Past the confusion and guilt and shame over platonically loving this man who ended up committing such an evil act.
I am so close to throwing in the towel and every video I watch hoping for a Lil nugget that will change my life... I get go talk to somebody lol or something to do with friends.... I can literally barely afford to live and I have nothing... my kids/husband could really use a check...
My suicidal thoughts are not anyone else problems but my own id never tell either it creates to much stress for the other person. If I get beat I get beat. I like to think of it as man to man coverage with no safety help.
I have always had those thoughts since I was a kid.., I have attempted 3 times, then I am even more down on myself because I failed. But the thoughts go on and on. I have depression, anxiety and was diagnosed with ADHD a couple years ago. This makes me angry because my life makes my life make so much sense now and if I would have been treated, my life could have so much better and I could have been a better mother. I dealt with emotional neglect as a child and my best friend of 46 years died of pancreatic cancer and my brother, that I was close to died the year after. I have no friends because I feel I don’t fit in anywhere. I am married, 49 years but when I talk to him, he wants to fix it and that doesn’t help at all. I do take medication and see a therapist… but the feels never goes away.
This is actually quite normal for most people to feel suicidal and death everyday. Being human is mental health
I know people who swear they never have had suicidal thoughts because they have Jesus in their lives. Well...😞
@@blueStarKitt7924 that's amazing!
Well...😞🤷😮💨
@@blueStarKitt7924 ?
How do we get help with no insurance and no job tho? I listened to this and sobbed the whole time.
Right? It's so expensive.
Check mental health availability in your county. There are services for people without insurance or income.
She is a Brave Woman
Please follow up with her. This is what I go through.
2021 was the hardest, darkest time of my life. I was physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually BROKEN. But now I feel genuinely GRATEFUL and BLESSED that I had to go through that phase because GOD has graciously REVEALED Himself to me in miraculous ways. I am fortunate that He allowed me to know Him at a very young age, but this year is SPECIAL because of what WE (yes, GOD and me) have been through last year. He showed me how POWERFUL prayers truly are when I started to focus on WHO HE IS rather than who I am, on WHAT HE CAN DO rather than what I deserve. The experience was MAGICAL. He showed up BIG TIME and assured me that HE is indeed a LISTENING and RESPONDING GOD. Oh how my faith has skyrocketed as a result! Now more than ever, I have very bright HOPE for my future because I personally experienced how RELIABLE God is. And for that I will forever be grateful. GLORY BE TO GOD, MY EVER FAITHFUL FATHER. ♥️♥️♥️
To everyone who's struggling right now, please know that GOD LOVES YOU. He wants to help you and give you peace. Please surrender your burdens to Him and allow Him to move in your life.
"Because he loves Me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges My Name. He will call on Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him." (Psalm 91:14-15)
Please hold on to this bible verse because WHATEVER GOD SAYS, HE FULFILLS. ✝️
Gees. After reading most of your story I could almost believe in god to make everything better. Almost.
It’s intrusive thoughts not suicidal- usually stems from anxiety
This hits home for me. 😢
Wow! Incredible job Dr. John!
Learning TIP skills helped me. It's one way to bring down emotional arousal when you're having a bad night. (Though I recommend talking with a doctor before trying some of the skills if you have a heart condition or are on beta blockers). Now Matters Now has some good videos on this. It's also a good idea to remove lethal means and create a safety plan.
For the caller and all other thinking the same thoughts - please look into Neurofeedback therapy for these looping reoccurring suicidal thoughts. It saved my life and I know it can do the same for you! 💖
I’d say 98 percent of our come from childhood. A lot of it does! Not sure exact amounts but it is a thing!
Watch the Bluey episode - Baby Race, it's a great episode to show that as parents we focus on how inadequate we are, as our children se us as their whole wide world and we're missing it.
Yup I've had these type of thoughts and just as casually. Keeps life interesting to say the least lol
one good man in the world gives me hope to go on
Thank you for sharing . You are amazing !
Covid19 also changed me
I feel unsure and confused 😕 a lot of the time
I had covid19 in june 2021, 4mo ago
I love how she describes it, ive experienced this since i was a child and thought it was normal. Its been very scary sometimes....especially when i have to stop walking down the stairs because my brain imagines me throwing myself down the stairs
I got through it by telling myself that I can’t today. But if I feel awful tomorrow, I can revisit that.
You are not the only one!
Victoria, if you are reading this - I recommend that you see a psychiatrist first before a counselor if you are open to getting a diagnosis and treatment. Make sure your treatment correlates with your therapy too. Unfortunately some mental health professionals care about money so its going to take some time. Good luck!
Psychiatry is a cult that uses drugs to manipulate it's subjects. VERY risky, dangerous suggestion. Trauma informed, holistic talk therapy is a much SAFER and successful option.
@stellarocquie7957 yeah I would NOT recommend addictive numbing antidepressants. Therapy without meds is all most people need but they need the right modality of therapy and good therapy.
I needed to hear this.
Intrusive thoughts are common. They're even more common postpartum.
Dang, I feel the same way as that caller.
I deal with problems and negative things with laughter as well... It causes me LOTS of problems with other people as they think im weird? I mean I will joke about someones death with laughter.... I kinda hate it, but thats me..
Yep, that's probably a Devil speaking to her. I'm an educated person, in university and I'd consider myself quite responsible as well, but im also aware of spiritual things. Grace be with her.
🤦♀️
This is a symptom of OCD lmao.
"soothe my baby" she said. It sounds like she may be post partum? I haven't listened to the whole video yet but it's important to distinguish how long this has been going on. Post partum is certainly no joke, my wife suffered a great deal for about a year after the birth of our son.
Fleeting thoughts I have those way too often
i think about it all day every day, i want to go, but cant get it done
Ask God for help. Pray for Him to lead you and also find a counselor/Pastor who can help. Don't give up. God loves you
This is passive suicidal ideation.
This could be an amalgamation of true suicidal ideation and/or OCD.
man, it's super weird seeing John get visibly angry
when did he get angry?
Angry? When?
AWESOME CONVO
i never found therapy helpful. it's hard for me to understand how it's so helpful to some people.
Tried talk therapy to. Seemed useless to me personally. Mindfulness is a good start for me.
Exactly. I came out worse. They made me feel worse
Honestly I think this way sometimes too.
Yeah, right. Reach out for help. There is no fucking help out there.
Because no one cares
I feel for the lady. Doc is right, she is better off With her than with another woman..worst case scenario the next lady to watch her child can be like her own mom.
1:00 intrusive thoughts are different to suicidal thoughts
OCD pure O? Testing yourself with intrusive thought without repetitive actions to relive it.
Intrusive thoughts. A symptom of OCD and it can be debilitating.
Very common form of ocd
Pure-O OCD
That's demonic i used to get thoughts like that I've neve been suicidal either. One time it got so bad i got deliverance and it was a spirit that was casted out. I know there are not christians on here but guys this is very spiritual if it's so random.
It is
Victoria = hero
I feel her.