For the people who think labels such as autistic, disabled, or trans are pointless or "such a shame"... I'd rather be labelled by a professional and MYSELF as autistic, than be labelled by others as weird, r*****ed, and a loner.
Hit the nail on the head! You will always be labelled something. Identifying yourself (and/or getting diagnosed) as autistic or another label you consider positive or have chosen for its accuracy, you take back the power in defining yourself instead of letting hateful people do it for you.
Totally The real problem with a label such as autistic is that people don't know what it means - no, worse, they believe they do. They think you must be either Sheldon Cooper or Rain man. Your label comes unfortunately with a lot of trying to educate others. Like "I do this because I tend to have sensory overload" for example. That's long. Well maybe you are in an educated community and that's easier, hope so! 💜
Getting the label 'autistic' was such a relief to me- I wasn't just badly behaved and fidgeted, I was overstimulated and stimming. So many things made more sense and it allowed me to access the help that I need that understands the specifics of the way I am. I'm very glad that this video is being made to try and tackle the 'get rid of the labels' rhetoric
Meanwhile for me. As child it was somewhat traumatic. I was 9. My biggest fear was not being normal. Then i got a label like that. And keep in mind a decade ago, there was no representation. All i knew were violent, annoying, loud boys. Now i am fine tho.
Getting diagnosed was probably one of the best things to happen to me, I got so much more support from school, and there were reasons why I struggled so much in everyday life. At first I didn't even realise most other people saw it as "bad" either at first, which is why for my GCSE speech I'm going to be explaining autism in girls and stereotypes.
Totally agree with where you are coming from. I have ADHD but wasn't diagnosed until very recently at 23, and it finally explained so much that before had been dismissed or overlooked because I was academically successful, so I "couldn't have ADHD", as if it wasn't having a huge impact on my life in all parts 😬 I'm doing much better with it today, and now that I have a diagnosis, I finally have treatment options open to me if I want (e.g. meds, adhd-oriented counselling)
I have crippling anxiety too. And I'm shy. And I'm introvert. Thankfully I have family that I can rely on and a few friends because some people's opinion is pretty ridiculous.
It may sound stupid but some people can’t distinguish actual crippling anxiety and the usual stress people have day to day because they are missing critical thinking. But yeah, sometimes the absolute dense humans can be annoying.
Doesn't help how many people label normal stress responses as anxiety and normal sad responses as depression. If you just lost your job and your dog died, of course you'll have stress and be sad. Those are responses to things that happened. But when it feels like the world is caving in and you can't breathe even though everything is really fine, and when you know you should be happy, but can't feel anything but overwhelming sadness that feels like our'e going to die, those aren't in response to things that happened. I'm really, REALLY tired of people downplaying actual disorders and mental illnesses as the same as having a response to a stressful or sad situation. If anything, not being stressed over suddenly being jobless or not being sad if your dog dies would be the unusual responses.
@@NueThunderKing It's not a lack of critical thinking, but rather being in a society where trying to explain the difference will get you pegged as "invalidating someone's experience," even though you're not invalidating their sadness over their dog dying, just trying to explain the difference between being sad in response to something that happened and depression. It doesn't hep that depression and anxiety are literally trendy to claim to have. :( www.nytimes.com/2018/07/28/style/anxiety-necklace.html www.talkspace.com/blog/having-a-mental-illness-isnt-fashionable/ mashable.com/article/anxiety-depression-social-media-sad-online/
Labels? On this channel, I am a tiny minority! White, straight, middle class, senior. In the rest of the U.S. I'm not. So I've always been privileged, I'm older and never needed labels, but I do own a small business and it is very beneficial to know people's labels and pronouns so they are respected and at ease.
I like having labels. It's much easier to just say "I'm autistic" than say "I have complicated personal and social issues that I can't control like not being able to make eye contact and also doing weird things in public because I'm uncomfortable". Although I do have issues with having to explain to literally everyone what pansexual means.
@@MyNontraditionalLife Misinformation plays a big role in why people assume autism is the same for everyone. I strongly feel that autism needs to be something that is PROPERLY taught in middle/high school because it could really help clear up misinformation and assumptions people have. I want to be a person that can help educate others, but leaving the burden on the average person (referring to non-professionals) to educate can be overwhelming and it shouldn't be their job unless they want it to be.
My first experience with someone who told me they were autistic was online, and the only difference I picked up on was "never ask a rhetorical question" - he would stop chatting so he could research it, find the best answer after reviewing dozens, and finally come back to the conversation long after the topic changed to share the results. Since then, I've learned that there is a huge range of specialities/ quirks covered in that blanket term, so I've learned to just go with the flow and try to keep up lol.
@@MyNontraditionalLife Idk will you get notified for me replying to you but.. I suspect I either have ADHD, autism or both even. But not in a 'stereotypical' manner as society sees us. What took you to go and diagnose yourself? Sometimes I feel like I make things up until I have a meltdown cuz of overstimulation or can't focus on anything at all.
Wouldn't it be better to say, "I _have_ autism" rather than "I _am_ autistic"? I suffer from depression but I don't define myself based on it. Maybe I have an unpopular opinion but I don't like the idea of basing my identity on something that's not actually mine.
When I was a teenager I was obsessed with finding a right label for my fluid and everchanging sexuality, but I could never settle for one without getting immense anxiety. For some reason, I've always felt labels very restrictive and pressuring, as if I had to start acting certain way if I called myself bi or lesbian, and if I didn't, I would be a fraud. As I am prone to anxiety, I just stopped labeling my sexuality completely. I recognize and accept that labels are important to some people and communities, but I also think it is important to note that not using them is okay. For me, my sexuality and my mental health it was very freeing to understand that we all have a right to choose whether we use labels or not, and that that choice does not make us somehow worse or better as people or as a members of lgbtq+ community.
I had the same experience! As a teenager I overanalyzed all my feelings towards people desperate to label my sexual orientation somehow, but it just stressed me out and I was never comfortable with any label. I always feel like if I label myself as something I’m “intruding” in someone else’s space, because what if the label is proven wrong later. I don’t have anything against others changing labels and never had but I for some reason hold myself to a different standard 😔
I was very similar -- I called myself questioning since I was about 13, and looked at every possible label that might have described me meanwhile but doubting myself most of the time -- but I ended up just settling on calling myself bisexual as an umbrella term starting at about 16. The bi label, for me, is inherently fluid as my gender preferences are always changing and more than one are always there to some degree. It was freeing for me to finally decide on a label that personally I find best describes, as succinctly as possible, my complex sexual orientation.
For a while, asexual felt very much an important identity, but these days, "somewhere on the ace spectrum" feels a better way of describing me to myself. I'll figure out where that somewhere is eventually, I'm sure, but until then I'll probably be using the umbrella term asexual to manage others expectations :)
I believe labels are useful for explaining your sexuality/gender identity to others, as well as clarifying them for yourself. But that by no means makes labels necessary. You do you babes! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤍🤎🖤
I feel weird about labels. I like identifying with certain labels and being able to package myself in a neat little box to give to people and be understood, but I do start to dislike them when I think about ALL of the labels I fit in. It just overwhelms me. Does that make sense? Like I am a lesbian. Cool! I’m blind! Neat! I’m a night owl. Interisting! But when I think about myself as a blind, disabled, french, jewish lesbian, I feel sort of uncomfortable. I just don’t like feeling like a "list".
I also feel weird about labels sometimes, but not necessarily in the way that you feel. Over the past year, my body has been less and less able to do things like writing by hand, running or even walking some distances due to (what I think is) chronic pain. I'm not sure if I can label myself as disabled, because my body is not able to do some things, but at the same time I don't have a diagnosis and I'll probably never get one. It can be super-confusing sometimes. The more labels that get added to me, the more overwhelmed I feel by them
I actually related to your list exactly. I’m a 4th generation french jewish lesbian. I don’t have the visual capability to legally drive though I don’t consider myself blind enough to claim that label just visually impaired. It feels weird having a list as extensive as ours. It feels a little overwhelming sometimes.
I get what you mean. One label just feels like you simplified something about yourself, in a way that's comfortable. A list of labels feels like trying to simplify your whole personality, which I think everyone knows can't really be simplified, because we humans are so damn complicated beings.
I get that! I have a love/hate relationship with labels. I find it freeing to have very specific labels, but I don't like it when I get boxed into them. I use labels as tools to help me understand my world and my feelings! But I really hate feeling like I'm reduced to a list, or a science experiment, or a teeny tiny point where a dozen lines intersect. I almost never share my more complicated, almost micro labels, for that reason! Almost no one knows what they are, or believes they exist. So now, I just label myself for me, and my comfort.
As a homoromantic asexual woman I am so goddamn tired of people who say stuff like: "whay was the ace frag included in this and not the lesbian flag?" Like... yes, the lesbian flag absolutely should be included in lgbtqia+ representation but why do you have to put down another minority group to get your point across? That's just not necessary
THIS. ^ I've also had people tell me that I wasn't a part of the lgbtqia+ group because I was asexual. A gay person said it didn't count, because "asexuals aren't persecuted like the others". I tried to very gently explain to him that he was being hypocritical in saying so.
ive seen this happen way too many times. as an aroace person it really hurts when people try to put aces down in order to lift other people up. ive seen phrases like 'glorified virgins' and 'celibates' used quite often and its like,, clearly you do not understand asexuality at all if thats what you think we are
Every year since I was about 10, I've had an identity crisis about my sexuality, trying to work out if I'm straight, bi or gay. I came out as bi when I was 18, but recently I've put together my experiences in a way I couldn't before and realised I am almost certainly a lesbian. (No bi erasure here, bi people are not confused, don't need your opinion and fyi asking someone how many guys/gals/enbys they've 'been with' to try and work out how gay they are is not cool). It feels odd that it's taken me this long (now 22), and that I'm still struggling with this idea that I'm not 'allowed' to be a lesbian (due to a lot of internalised homophobia and a bit of gatekeeping) but these videos/this community and seeing Jessica and Claudia just being wives has helped me so much in accepting myself and seeing a future that doesn't make me uncomfortable. I feel like I finally understand myself, and that's a wonderful thing.
Note: when I've talked to people (a lot, over the last decade) I've often been told I "don't need to label" myself, but for me it has helped me accept, understand and be proud of something that caused me so much pain and shame for a long time. In another way, it's kind of like when I got measured for a bra the first time when I was 19, and I realised I'd been wearing the wrong size, and there actually wasn't anything wrong with me, even though my size wasn't available in shops, and now when I go bra shopping I know what size I need to buy.
I'm glad that now you feel confident in who you are and feel supported by your label, but when I read your first sentence, I identified so much with you and my anger at being labeled came out. I was a bit older when others started trying to label my sexuality and tried to force me into box, and to me, labeling was hurtful, hateful, and unhelpful. I felt like my life would have been much easier if I'd been allowed to just explore on my own and figure things out. The idea that labels could change wasn't popular back then, at least not in my area, and there were very few used: gay, straight, or bi, which was equal to saying confused and rejected by both sides :/
This probably falls under "finding community"/"labels save time", but being in a minority often means you are forced to educate everyone you encounter about whatever niche experiences you have had, and that is so exhausting. To stay sane, I've found I need spaces where all the basics are taken as read, and you aren't forced to act like a spokesperson for an entire community. Also, labels allow you to direct people to videos by informative youtubers who explain things so you don't have to ;-)
I have an Autistic friend who said they prefer being called Autistic than saying "They have Autism" because saying it the second way makes it sound like a disease and saying "They are Autistic" sounds more like it is who they are as a person. That really hit me some way. I never forgot that.
The labels I use towards myself are so important to me. I’ve fought so hard to get people to acknowledge my nonbinary identity, autism, chronic illnesses and disabilities. I’ve been told over and over “that’s not a thing” or “you’re making that up”. My differences are so often erased and therefor the struggles I have from people’s lack of acceptance are too. It really angers me to be told “oh don’t label yourself”. If I fit the societally approved standard then that would be fine but I don’t and so without the ways I describe myself people would always assume I’m the “default” and thus erase hugely important things about me. I am myself because of the things about me so to take my words for those things away is to take who I am away from me.
Finding the term “asexual” when I was 24 practically brought me to tears. Until then, I thought I was broken. Finding out there were other people like me made me feel valuable. Finding my soulmate would not have been possible without labels.
I found the term young and associated with since I was about 14, but it was a long road anyway, still filled with people ready to tell you you're wrong about yourself, broken, lying, etc
I feel like this question depends on the person, because finding a label can be hard- and there are so many different ones for different things. Just because you feel one thing, doesn’t mean you need to label it right away, or ever really. It’s that persons choice of what labels they do or don’t wanna use, and you should respect that
Agreed. If you want to simplify one aspect of who you are with a word, but you'd rather explain another aspect tó people without a label for whatever reason, that's fine. It's about you after all, you decide.
I find some people go a bit over the top, listing off a laundry list of labels that describe every possible aspect of themselves. But that's because I'm not that organized or detail minded. I'm sure for them its incredibly comforting to know they have everything about themselves sorted and arranged. The real thing is to find what works for you, not to feel pressured into labeling everything if you dont want to and feeling confined by them. Or feeling attacked for coming up with too many labels. Its all about the right balance for you
"Black disabled autistic" OMG! That's me !!! (among many others, paramount being "dog lover" and "occasional snorer") In serious, though, I appreciate your eloquent, insightful, and inclusive discussion about labels and their many facets, Jessica. Your videos always leave me with something to think about and embody in practice. Much love from the states ❤
Speaking of gay every day - I was lamenting the fact that, as I don't have any elastic, I can't make myself face masks with the pan flag on, to which my brother replied "it's already a pandemic, what more do you want?" and to my pansexual asthmatic self, I have to admit it gave me a good chuckle. (To be clear, my brother is an excellent ally and he said this because he shares my dark sense of humour)
Labels have helped me to start accepting myself. Such as recently coming to terms that I'm Asexual but I've found that they can also be quite daunting, having a mental illnesses and wondering if that means you can call yourself disabled and what that means. 😅Here's my little rambling contribution Love the video ❤️
It's also important to recognise that sometimes people don't want the labels they are associated with. For example, due to autism having an incredibly varied and misunderstood spectrum of symptoms, it can be easier for autistic people to not identify with the label "autistic" if they differ from the common conception of autistic people.
This is really important !! I was actually really upset because I keep getting harassed on Instagram for my labels (i'm a nonbinary lesbian). This week strangers have been harassing me, misgendering me (I literally got spammed with comments saying "okay woman"), and basically just telling me that I'm faking my gender or that I'm "ruining the lesbian label". It's especially upsetting because,,, my labels are important to me. I'm a nonbinary lesbian, I'm poor, im physically and mentally disabled, I'm a Quaker, I'm chronically ill, and I'm also silly things like "good pasta jar opener" or "terrible dancer". so uh,,, yeah this video made me really happy
The one thing that upsets me about my labels is when I'm referred to as "the lesbian in my grade" or "that trans person" or "the autistic kid" or "the disabled one". Because it makes me feel kind of,,, tokenized?? I know I'm not the same as everyone else, and I don't want to be, but it makes me feel othered in a way.
I think what lesbians feel is that that people are joining the lesbian label. It was exclusively for women and now everyone wants to be a lesbian. I mean, there is still a discussion about if trans man can be lesbians. Some people say no some people say yes. The point is, no one is happy and it’s just arguments. I know a Twitter user made a new label to for women who solely love women. They got attacked. It’s war. I can’t identify as a lesbian because it doesn’t feel like my label anymore. Im a women who loves women and suddenly it’s a controversial topic. I like calling my self now Sapphic. It’s basically a woman, or woman-aligned person who is romantically or sexually attracted to other women or woman-aligned people. The label is used as a way to unify all women who love other women such as, lesbians, bisexual women, pansexual women, etc, promoting solidarity among women of all identities. It’s like we like women so let’s just celebrate together instead of arguing. And we need to stop attacking each other about it. Or at least come to terms to what lesbianism is now.
@@MikasaOkumura lesbianism has always included female aligned nonbinary people. Obviously I'm not advocating for lesbian trans men, that would be incredibly transphobic. But hell, even if i was wrong, people have no excuse to harass me and my nonbinary lesbian friends.
anastasia louise from what I heard, not always. Must be misinformation since both sides change history to fit their narratives. Even then, it’s no excuse to attack people. I’m not trying to excuse anyone. I’m more talking about the mess the community is and I’m just tired of it. And I feel people would not take us seriously if we keep fighting each other. It’s okay to have disagreement with each other with the community but attacking each other is too far
I wear my labels with pride, because they've helped me understand who I am, why I am who I am, and they give a window to others into who I am. They've also helped me find communities that support my well-being.
I’m White, cis, lesbian, agnostic, a bookworm, a nerd, a gamer, a Minecrafter, and a TH-camr. These are labels that I use to identify myself. There are some labels that I fall under but don’t want to use for myself because of their connotations which I don’t fall under. Pro-vaxx is an example. It implies I’m very, very intense about it. I just might say, “I believe that vaccines’ benefits outweigh their costs and that herd immunity is important.” I also have labels that I use to refer to who I tolerate, which kind are add-ons to my other labels. I’m furry-tolerant, I’m Fortnite-tolerant. You play Fortnite? Cool. I don’t care, as long as you aren’t hurting anybody. You do you.
So agree with the connotations issue. My example: Pro life vs. Pro choice. Do I think unwanted pregnancies are horrible? Yes. Do I think it's sad that fetuses are being removed from bodies? Yes. Do I think I have the right to tell anyone else not to have an abortion? HELL NO! What I really think is that all the reasons to have abortions need to be fixed - cure the medical conditions that create the need, put an end to incest/rape, make better birth control, change lives so that no one has to say "I can't afford to be pregnant/ have a child," etc. That's the problem I have with most labels: most have an opposite, and if you choose one, it puts you at war with the other.
My whole childhood my mother tried to not give me a label (or a little box as she says), she didnt let others give me a label too. Now im an adult and willingly jumped into the box labeled ADHD. And im as happy as a cat in that box.
The testimonials in this video were eye opening. Hearing everyone's feelings about labels and what they mean to them touched my heart. I wasn't as aware as I thought when it came to this subject. I am always open to being educated, and I surely was by the perspectives of all who participated in this video. However one chooses to identify, whichever label(s) they want to use, I will be accepting of you ... because it's you! Just so long as you're nice. Nice is big thing to me :)) I very much appreciated this video. Thank you Jessica, and again, thank you to all who shared your thoughts and feelings. I will be forever grateful. 👍🤟💝
I agree with more people on Jessica's channel than on any other. This is truly the beauty in pride and people who accept everyone. And I agree, being nice means everything. 😊
One comment about "race": biologically speaking, there actually aren't any different races in humans. So technically saying "there aren't any races" is right, it would be more accurate to use other words like ethnicity. But using "there aren't any races" to undermine people's experience because of their ethnicity/"race" is obviously extremely shitty. It just would be more accurate to use other words.
@@hellcat2756 yes and no. It's not about the phenotype, but the genotype. You aren't more likely to be lactose intolerant because you're black, but because you're from Africa, for example.
I'm a German speaking Italian and in both languages race is exclusively used for animals - it's synonymous with breed and it's extremely racist to use it for a person's ethnicity. we use the word ethnicity instead. if you hear someone say race when referring to a human being, you immediately know they are basically a nazi
There was a part here that resonated with me. I'm a bi man, but I've never really had a crush on a guy, let alone been in a relationship, so sometimes I have to affirm to myself that I am who I think I am. Of course, the odd cute guy does help with that 😂
On Christmas Day 2018 I stumbled over a thread on Twitter, detailing which accounts best to follow, if you're LGBTQIA+. I had already come out as bisexual a year or so prior, but it had never felt like... the whole truth? So I scrolled through the thread, following here and there and when I reached the section for the letter A and clicked randomly on the top-listed account, that was the first time I read the term asexual. And not in the way I had before: abnormal, in need of fixing, useless, broken. No, I finally read about it as a sexuality, an actual, valid sexuality. My sexuality. People always say things are 'mind-blowing', but I don't think most of them know, what mind-blowing actually feels like. I do now. It was as if time stopped for a second and an eternity while I was reading, then like a rubber band bouncing back the realization hit me and a weight was lifted off my shoulders, something was opening up in my head, like I had finally found a key to a door that has always been locked. That night I fell asleep reading while tears streamed down my face. But they were the happiest tears I have ever cried. In the past 1,5 years I was able to explore myself so much more and here I am today: a bi-aesthetic aro ace with she/they pronouns. 💜 For me discovering and having labels has been unbelievably freeing. Also: people don't give social media enough credit! I would never have found out about so many amazing people, identities, cultures, etc. if it hadn't been for social media. Your channel has been a wonderful source not just for beginners in intersectional topics, but also for someone whose already more versed. P.S. Looking back, my bi-aesthetics are clear as day, because I've always thought one of the most beautiful things ever to grace the silver screen has been Julie Andrews starring in 'Victor Victoria' wearing that black tux. Google it. Simply 10/10.
Thank you for including the part about labels changing over time. I labelled myself as lesbian for years because that as all I knew. But coming out again in the last year as Pansexual and having the support from my amazing girlfriend has done wonders for my confidence. I struggled with the idea of my label changing so many years after i came out (at age 12) and with being in a women - women relationship i worried how people for now accept me. 🌈💛💙💜 P. S : I love all of your content! You are fabulous
I think the one thing to be careful of is to be sure that your experience comes before the label. As a teenager, I had trouble trying to stay in the box I others and myself put myself into. It was free-ing to learn it's okay to just be myself and figure out my labels later.
Thanks Jessica I find labels to be both affirming and divisive. I know who/what I am, and thanks to labels I can put words to who/what I am and how I feel, but on the flip side I am pained that some people use labels as division. Maybe I'm not xyz but it does not mean I can't empathise with someone who is xyz. I do feel we're far more than what we label ourselves with. I feel labels should specify who we are, not exclude who, or what, we are not.
Labels... it depends in what context 😄 I am: - a mother. - a woman. - a transfem drag king. - a pansexual masochist dom. - a big fan and colector of pokémon. - an animal lover and a farmer. - a priestess of the moon and a druidess. - autistic and have cronic pains. - an wildchiled. - an romantic. so yea.. many labels 😄 and they are inportant for me, in my day to day life I dont think much about it but when I have to explain myself to others I can relax because I have all these helpfull labels to explain myself with 😄
I proudly identify as a shy, white, heterosexual, European, stay at home wife (which is becoming increasingly difficult in today's society) and no that doesn't mean that I am suppressed or lazy, I just value a more simple old fashioned life where my family and community are my priority. I understand that I am privileged and mostly accepted in society. I enjoy meeting all sorts of people and labels allow me to help others feel comfortable, loved and accepted as valued members to society and the community. I find that life is much more enjoyable when people are free to be who they are without feeling ashamed and instead embracing their chosen labels a d the freedom they get from doing so.
As someone who had a visual impairment for a large part of my life, I really appreciate the voiceover! Access is so important to be part of the conversation
I feel like labels help us connect with a community and with other people. Like you said, the brain doesn’t like ambiguity and that’s not something that is going to change anytime soon (it takes more than a few hundred years for evolution to do its work). So really, it’s going to be very difficult for people to accept and feel comfortable with having “no mould” to identify with. The solution is to have infinite moulds! Accept all of them but also being able to identify with them. Ignoring the differences is ridiculous. Differences are there! I work with animals and it would be insane to try and ignore the colours, the sex, the species of the animals I work with. I need all those informations to identify them and to communicate with other people about them. What I believe is the way towards being all equal isn’t to ignore the differences but to celebrate them, not hide from them, accept and understand them instead. I hate it when I hear someone saying “my child is too young to learn about ___blank_subject___” (like having a gay couple in a kid movie) That’s ignoring that there are different people in the world. No one is too young to understand that not everyone is the same and that it’s okay. Yes all lives matter, yes everyone matter, but it would be foolish to think that we will all be equal by ignoring the past and the differences it creates today. Acceptance and love start with understanding and curiosity imo! ❤️
so early wow!! uploaded a few seconds ago i cant believe im this early and labels are very important to me. as someone who's neurodivergent (diagnosed ADHD, working on figuring out if i do qualify for a diagnosis of autism though i've been professionally told i have "significant autistic traits" so i'm working on going to a specialist) its very important to have those labels. i was diagnosed with ADHD a mere few months ago at age 17. i cried (happy tears) when i was diagnosed because finally, i had a word to describe how i experience life. that label may sound negative to others (i used to think it was!) but to me it is positive because it explains that yes, i AM different, yes, i DO need assistance, and that label makes sure that i can get the help and understanding i need to flourish. since finding out i have ADHD i've been able to look back on my life and see where i clearly struggled because i wasn't labelled and thus couldn't access care. now, i can do what i need to do to make my life easier. i can say "hey, i'm neurodivergent, there are things i struggle with that others don't" and people can understand what's up. i can also now find others who have similar experiences! other than that, i identify as lesbian and somewhere on the ace spectrum (but i don't know if it's my mental health impacting how i wish to experience relationships), i identify as someone with a mental illness due to anxiety/OCD and depression, chronically ill due to chronic pain and fatigue, digestive disorder, and endometriosis; things like that. they all help explain who you are as a person so people get to know you, whats important to you, and what your needs are. because the bottom line is, due to my health and brain, i have different needs than someone who is fully healthy and neurotypical. the labels make sure that everyone's needs are met so they can live happy lives!
As someone with an undiagnosed chronic illness, I am desperate for a diagnosis so that I can use the label of chronic illness. Not only would it reassure myself that it's real and I'm not crazy, I would finally feel like I could ask for help or special consideration when I need it. Without I feel like I've fallen somewhere between the cracks and just need to deal with it on my own.
I've been thinking about this question a lot lately (I'm a teen who's planning her coming out, yay!), so I was really excited for this video, and I wasn't disappointed. You kind of changed my mind, because until now, I thought I "didn't like labels", but I just realised that a lot of words that I like to use, not necessarily about sexuality but other things, are labels too that I didn't think of when saying that. Can't wait for the second part!
Great video! To me labels are important because I spent the bulk of my life feeling broken until I found the label of trans man and found others like me. I no longer feel broken, just different. I finally started using the label chronically ill and it has reduced expectations that I cannot always live up to, which is amazing on my self worth.
I am an autistic, gay trans man who is monogamous and in a monogamous relationship. All of these are important as it helps me understand why I have the perspectives I do and allows other people to know that I'm not into women or available as a partner within a poly relationship and me being trans allows me to explain the journey of discovery and the transition process I went through.
I figured out I was asexual when I was 29. After years of thinking there was something wrong with me, and being told I had ‘too high standards”. I found the word on Pinterest and did some research and had a light bulb moment. I wasn’t broken, I wasn’t a snob, I was asexual. Labels are important and representation of all labels is important. No one should go through 29 years of thinking they are broken because they didn’t know all their options. Because their label was talked about ever. I am still the only asexual person I know. But at least I know who I am now.
Growing up as bisexual, I struggled with my sexuality a lot, mostly because I didn't really know that bisexuality is the thing that exist. I knew about existence of gay people (and society I was growing up was significantly less homophobic than it is now), but I had a crushes on men too, so I wasn't lesbian, right? So when I first encountered blatantly bi character in a piece of media, I was shocked. But I didn't know how to describe it in words, and said media was a product of the same society that raised me - so it didn't named anything as well. So, I just decided that main character of that piece was a straight girl with "heterosexual crush on a woman" (yep, really), and that was how I identified for a long time. Only when - much older - I encountered a word, a label, only then I could put my own experience in words and compare it to the label and finally find out who I really am. So for me, labels are dear, because they give name, they start a conversation, and then you can figure out whether you want to use it or maybe not.
Society at large said; 'You lot are different, so you go in this box, and you over there go in this other box, and all these other boxes are for you who are different', and then those people thought about it and said; 'Actually I think I belong in this box over here,' and began sorting themselves into the boxes THEY chose, and society said; Surprised Pikachu Face
i've identified with my diagnoses of depression and anxiety for nearly 10 years now, and knowing that my illness is valid and navigable is such a relief. i also identify as bisexual and somewhere on the asexual spectrum, and before i knew that the asexual label existed, i thought i was broken. and most recently i've learned that i have ADHD, and getting that explanation for my behavior and why i relate to other people with ADHD has been so validating as well! all of these labels are so helpful in explaining who i am to myself - for example, my attention span is terrible, but i'm not a POS, i just have ADHD; i don't experience much sexual attraction, but there's nothing wrong with me, i'm just asexual.
I recently discovered that I am Asexual, being able to identify with this label helped me to feel more normal, like I wasn't some libido-less anomaly. I feel more confident with myself and I can explain who and what I am to future partners more easily. It was a relief to to add Asexual to my list other of identities, which include Pansexual, Nerd, Goth and Female. I can share my experiences with others that understand me, and that is something I will never take for granted.
I avoided relationships when I was younger because I didn't really know what I was. Then I learned about asexuality, and that fit me. Once I had that fit, I found biromantic also fit as an extension of that. And now I'm desperate for a relationship but too scared to pursue anything because I didn't get the chance to practice how to do that when I was younger because I didn't have the words to explain what I was feeling back then
I was born into this world as a minority in a multitude of aspects (ethnicity, 'religion' that wasn't even by choice, sexuality, being a foreigner, etc. etc.) so 'labels' were put on me before I even fully understood what each one meant (with the exception of my sexuality, I guess, that was all me despite being in a very conservative Asian society + attending convent schools throughout my childhood, ha!). Some were helpful, some were harmful. And as I grew as a person, I started to understand that labels are simply identifying words to the different facets of your character and your person. It helps other people see parts of who you are without having to tell an entire decade's worth of your journey in the first few seconds of meeting someone new. It's convenient. It's helpful to those who will need certain aspects of themselves to be directly identified from the get-go (i.e. the medical condition one for example, it's CLUTCH to some people to prevent... well, death in some cases). Which is why, it's incredibly important to respect the labels that someone has made clear for themselves. Having said that however, I myself, am not particularly attached to/care about the different labels I've been given, I've chosen and I've earned throughout the years. Because I also think of labels, quite literally as the 'names'/'titles'. Kind of like, how when we say London, it helps people think of Big Ben and the royal family, and the London Eye, etc. But that doesn't mean that's all there is to London. There is so much more to the city with its historic buildings, the beautiful parks, the general journey the city has been through... And that I find, is exactly like a person. The label is the starting point, which is why it's important. But it's not the only important one; it's equally as important that we also try to see the depth of someone behind the list of labels, especially if they're someone who's going to be in your life for the long run. So I suppose, start with labels, but don't stop there.
I think what's important to remember is that forcing labels on someone who doesn't want to label themselves can be just as harmful as forcing the no label mentality on someone who has found labels they're happy with!
5:54 As an autistic person, I relate to this heavily. I can't count how many times I've heard people say "Well, we're all a little autistic!" Those people have no idea what autism is really like and probably liken it to simply being quirky or weird without all of the struggles that autistic people typically go through.
Thank you Jessica! Love this video. I remember way back in my younger years I was exploring my identity and labels I could use, and another person shut me down, and I didn't feel validated by using labels to identity. Having labels are important! Thank you!
I was so relieved when my disability finally got a name! People need a way to define things simply. My disability has turned into a super-power during quarantine as I have been homebound for years and have been able to help others cope with the isolation and boredom.
My parents say all lives matter. I still can't figure out how to explain to them that they should very much *NOT* say that in a way they can understand.
Explain to them that no one is saying one's life matters more than the other's, but when black/gay/trans etc lives are in literal danger, all lives CAN'T matter until their lives matter.
use this analogy: so there's a row of identical houses. one of the houses catches fire, but when the fire brigade arrive they waste time by pouring water onto the other houses, because they believe that "all houses matter".
i think it's because the older generations experienced the damage that labelling and segregation can do - defining people and making assumptions based on certain characteristics can be very dangerous - it can over simplify things and exclude other vulnerable parties who dont easily fit into a category. for decades western society has been making a collective effort to destroy the mindset that judges people and discriminates against them - which was the cause of a lot of inequity to begin with - so yeah i think that can be misunderstood as a kind of retaliation, when we all want the same thing ❤️ try not to get too hung up on words, let your actions speak loudest
I think because people were fed equality for so very long that feels right and to treat everyone the same for so long means they are not racist , and so BLM feels like a form of segregating one race in a certain type of way shape or form and in turn could potentially be turned negatively later. Its extremely complicated for alot of people to explain this feeling.
Thank you for this video Jessica. I have had a degree of stress about watching people yell, scream and fight about their right to labels and how society should accept all these labels. You are the first person who has clarified that to deny labels is to deny who people are. I am not a label person but I understand why now. Over time we will come to have these new words for identity in common language and then it will be much easier for those that identify as one or many labels to be understood and help to understand themselves and not be stressed for not being seen for who they are.
For me, knowing I have OCD was one of the most important label i found to define myself. Knowing how my brain works helps me find strategies to accomplish my goals and also work with my therapist to find where my OCD came from, and how to better treat it. People often don't understand why I find so important to put names to how I'm feeling and what I identify with, but I don't think people realize how practical labels/identify definers are.
Personally, I think labels and representation can be good. I always thought I was pansexual, but i knew something wasn't quite right, as I couldn't relate to some thoughts and experiences that other people had. It was 1 week after my 29th birthday that I realised I was sex-favourable asexual. I didnt realise how much my worry that there was something wrong with me because i couldn't relate to things other people were saying was affecting me, until I felt relief in knowing that there was nothing wrong with me, I was just asexual. And representation is important too. I wouldn't have figured out I was asexual if I hadn't come across a character in a fanfiction who described exactly how I felt.
I've recently been diagnosed with autism and it's just been so amazing to have a name for all of the difficulties that have always been unexplained. Before my labels were "pathetic" or "oversensitive" but I'm not! I'm autistic and I have a bunch of strengths because of it that can be assets as much as my difficulties are disabling. I'm also able to access different types of support at uni to just what my anxiety entitles me to. I believe labels are for the comfort of the person wearing them.
Acknowledging and seeing the different life experience you have because of the colour of your skin is important and a big step in fighting racism. Saying you are of a different race is harmful. The concept of different human races was invented by the colonizers as a defence for the exploitation of the 'lesser races'. Every time you speak about humans with the concept of race, you still are using the language of the colonizers and racism wins. There is no biological basis for different human races.
I'm a transgender woman and a lesbian. Those are both pretty important to me, and I really dislike the amount of gatekeepers telling trans women and non-binary people we can't be lesbians because it invalidates "real" lesbians. Like Jessica said I'm this video; one person's label has no effect on yours. She's absolutely right, and I wish more people would learn that lesson.
My personal labels have evolved over time, thank you for pointing this out so clearly. Labels are not a box we are sealed into. The box which is my personal space looks like a vintage piece of luggage, with labels stuck all over it, and over lapping. Thank you for this very clear and kind explanation of the importance of labels in self identification!
I think labels are very useful in building self, finding community, and for quickly expressing complicated subjects. Theres some use to the idea that were all people and living beings for the sack of saying, "I won't discriminate against them or I'll help them because they're just people like me not lesser or gross." Labels are pretty important to me because they've helped ground me, given me an anchoring point, helped me find people like me, and helped me explain the way I am and feel to other people.
as someone who uses words a lot to describe and understand everything, labels are really important when I found the words that describe my experience it was a relief. I felt like I wasn't alone and I wasn't losing my mind Labels help me describe the experience of being me so when i hear people saying that i dont need labels and we should stops making words up it hurts and is very annoying but I also have to remind myself that I dont need a word for everything, while it is nice to understand and have boxes to put myself in it can be really tiring and humans are much more complex than that
My labels are important to me. They help keep me grounded when I find myself in anxiety spiral. They're like a life vest that keeps me tethered to my reality, even when I feel like I'm drowning in confusion.
I put on Jessie's videos to fall asleep to when I'm having a bad brain day because her aura of kindness is a powerful thing to ward off the flashbacks. Thank you for helping my brain find safe spaces
Last time I was this early broadway was closed and now we have Hamilton yay. I just wanted to say finding another disabled lesbian was life changing and your content has helped me so much
I have found great support in labels as it has given answers to different questions and have made it easier for others to understand me and my reactions. I am a pansexual polyamorous non-binary trans man with moderate autism and a personally disorder which have made it difficult to fit in when I am supposed to be and act "normal". Love you all ❤🖤
Technically if you like non binary people (as well as binary), it’s encouraged that you use Pansexual as opposed to Bisexual, but both are totally fine! At the end of the day it’s which ever feels right to you! 💖💜💙
There are manny multigender sexualities, incliding pansexual, bisexual, omnisexual, and polysexual. From what you are discribing I'd say you sound polysexual, but obviously that's up to you to find if it fits you. (Polysexual is liking multiple genders, but not liking all genders)
@@missmek1314It's encouraged? By who? Bisexual people have never only used the word 'bisexual' in a binary capacity. The most consistent definition given (for multiple decades) by actual bisexual organizations has been two or more genders, or more than one gender. Not 'men and women'. The Bisexual Manifesto which was released in 1980's affirms the existence and inclusion of nonbinary people in Bisexual attraction, and a lot of nonbinary people identify as Bisexual and have for decades. The word Pansexual is no more appropriate or 'correct'/sensitive than Bisexual, and saying that is spreading misinformation. Implying that one terms is 'better'/more appropriate than the other (even if you add 'both are totally fine') really isn't okay. It's obviously up to someone to choose what they're more comfortable with, but that shouldn't be based on some false misconception that 'Bisexual means two' or 'Bisexual is/used to be a problematic word'.
I have a few labels, bi, neurodiverse, etc. But the most important game changing label for me was being able to label some stuff from my childhood as abuse. I didn't think of it that way for so long and had trouble reconciling myself to how angry and traumatised I felt, I felt guilty about this trauma, only when I learned that I could label something that happened to me as child abuse and myself as an abuse survivor did my trauma get better.
Another thing I think is good to remember about labels, building on what Eliza said at the end: you don't need to shift yourself to match the labels that you feel fit you. Rather, the labels can be seen to be useful like a map-they're not the whole 1:1 scale territory, but they usefully orientate you and others!
It should be pride all the year. Amazing video as always. Labels are kind of a necesity (?) for the human kind so we can process better whats around us, is like something engrained (sorry for my very bad grammar and english but english is not my first language) in our minds since way back. Love from Mexico :3
I personally don't use labels for myself, but i really like to know about other people's labels and especially different one's being represented on media! it's so interesting and it makes me really happy to see people discovering themselves and being happy with who they are! thank you very much for this video!
I found such comfort in finding the label of bisexual. When i first encountered the term i spent hours binging youtubers talking about it and reading about it, because I finally understood what I had been experiencing. It made me feel less alone and more in-tune with myself. :)
Thank you, Jessica for addressing yet another important subject with grace and competence. I personally think that labels are useful when they make sense to the person who decide to carry them in order to understand themselves and being socially aknowledged in relation to others. In no case they need to become a stigma or mark of shame or something that allow others' lazyness and lack of social skills. Labels are not the problem. The use that you make of them can become a problem.
Seeing so many people confirm the idea of changing labels honestly just really warmed me. As someone who come from a non-Western culture and language, labels are something that I still struggle with and while I've adopted some labels, I tend to think of them as an always-moving spectrum. It's amazing especially when it comes to language. There are some things that I never had to think about (such as pronouns and titles) that I have to think about within the English language to identify myself and others, while other labels (such as LGBTQIA+ terms) from the Western world and language that simply didn't exist in my native tongue so I struggled so much with that part of my identity because I had no words for it. Although I may not be able to always express or explain my identity, for me, at a personal level, I find comfort in it, knowing I'm not just 'different'.
I find I feel much more strongly about the labels I’ve explored and claimed as a part of myself as I’ve gotten older than I do about the ones people labeled me as when I was a child and never knew to question such things. I didn’t use the term “disabled” for the first 18 out of 20 years of being chronically ill and being an ambulatory wheelchair user because I wasn’t sure it truly fit my situation, I didn’t know my pain was going to become chronic and because I had some internalized ableism to identify and deal with. But once I claimed that label of “disabled” and had that moment where it just clicked for me, it was sooo liberating and empowering and has allowed me to look at myself in a new light! :) I also feel strongly now that I am a “feminist” and how empowering that is for me as well! I used to absolutely say I was with family and close friends when I was younger and was shocked anyone that knew me had to even ask me that and then as I grew up, I knew some people that had such a negative connotation with the word “feminist” that I’d be more quiet about my own feminist view points so as not to rock the boat. But now I am very eager to say I AM a “feminist” and if people have a problem with it, then that’s their problem and not mine. I also proudly say I am a “huge sci-fi geek” a lot and have for years. People would say “geek” so meanly when I was in school but when I really understood what that word meant for me and started saying it proudly to describe myself, I loved how it felt and it did make it easier to find fb groups where people had similar interests. I think the more labels I explored and claimed as a way to describe myself as I got older, the more eager I became to have the right words to describe different parts of myself but coming to the realization that I was “disabled” rather than just “chronically ill” was the big label for me that really made the light bulb go off and made me feel like I was part of a community. Having that switch in my mind from fighting how serious my chronic condition was to accepting that I WAS disabled gave me a lot of freedom that I didn’t even know I was lacking in my life and that has been hugely important for me, especially when it comes to my relationship with my cute purple cane and my newer wheelchair. I no longer focus on the “what if’s” and appreciate that I have these tools to help me get around easier when needed and labeling myself as “disabled” also went a long ways towards helping me with that last bit of acceptance that was important for me when it came to my condition. I can now say that I am a disabled woman whether my chronic illness is “invisible” that day or I can’t even turn in my wheelchair to get my water because of the pain and having that label that accurately describes what I am after 20 years of chronic pain has been very liberating for me! :)
I just recently had a big argument with some close family about labels (not specifically lgbt I’m not out yet, but other ones like able-bodied and white ext.) but they got quite angry at me literally saying “labels are like noses, you don’t want to tie yourself down” and the rest of my points were just ignored. This video made me feel so much better about using labels to help describe myself and to make me feel like I fit somewhere. Thank you Jessica and all the people who submitted your opinions!
Can you do a video on how you came to terms with being ‘disabled’? I’m struggling right now. I think I qualify as disabled, but as an American who can still work, I struggle owning it. I still feel the pressure of maintain a ‘normal’ pace of life. How do you cope with not having the energy/ability to do ‘normal’ things?
I confess to being very uncomfortable with labels - mostly because I struggle with labeling myself in all sorts of ways. Growing up it contributed to my anxiety: it seemed like everyone else had figured out who they were and I was falling behind. Now in my twenties I recognize the selfishness in projecting my own insecurities on others that find comfort and empowerment in affirming their identities. So I might not find labels helpful in my own effort to understand certain aspects of myself, but I make a conscious effort in respecting the labels others give themselves.
I think labels are great. You being able to classify yourself as something or other helps you feel connected to other people who identify the same way. Labels themselves unite people. What I don’t like, however, is when people consider their labels (especially those that are related to things they have no control over, like race, sexuality or health status) to be key parts of their identity. Of course, those things really affect their life, but they are so so much more than that. I know many wonderful people who happen to be disabled, or non straight, or non cis, but they have so much more to offer beyond that. They’re smart, talented, motivated people, and that’s what they’re known for - not for liking a certain gender or having a diagnosis. People shouldn’t cling to something they have no influence over to fully represent them, but rather develop their own identity. You are all amazing human beings!
Everytime I see a fur suit like that I'm just... In awe... That craftsmanship is incredible! (I'm a theatre technician btw, but I think I might also be convinced to become a fur suit producer...)
Labels are important to me because I feel like they help qualify how we interact with the world to people within our communities and people outside who we want to understand us. Also it’s important to have language available to talk about things like this because if the words and labels didn’t exist it’d be a lot harder to talk and discuss and explain how we interact with society and what we need to be changed. I think the meanings we give others can come with some serious and harmful issues. The language we use to describe ourselves and others heavily influences societal perspectives but it’s so subjective in some instances as well.
Just so you know, for someone who "appears white" the common term (at least in the US) is "white-passing," so for example, I'm a white-passing Puerto Rican - most people assume I'm white, but my mom and her family are from Puerto Rico, I just happened to inherit a lot of the genes leading to paler skin and hair colors, but I can get quite tan. I'm also cis-passing, despite actually being non-binary (and use they/them), and I'm an autistic person who masks quite well. Finding these labels has been incredibly helpful for me, has helped me feel more comfortable with myself, and also helped me find communities that support me. Labels can be so important for people who feel "different" but can't figure out what it is that's making them different, or feel alone in the feelings they have. It's so amazing to have the realization of "I'm not alone in this," and hear similar experiences.
I wish this video existed a year or two ago when I was trying to explain this to my mom. She didn’t understand why the label bisexual was such a big deal to me because it didn’t affect the way that she viewed me, but I think she finally understands that it’s important to me and is, by extension, important to her.
My mom never told me when I was diagnosed with Non-Verbal Learning Disorder because she didn't want me to feel labeled. But when I found out, it was such a huge relief to know why I am the way I am. I'd rather understand and accept my label instead of just spending my entire life thinking I'm stupid and socially awkward. I don't like using my diagnosis as a huge part of my identity, but I like knowing it exists, it helps me feel less alone. The point is, it's good to have labels. We can't pretend we're all the same, but we also can't use labels as our only identifying characteristics.
Labels have allowed me to seek accommodations for myself. When you think everyone is like you you think everyone is dealing with the same crap you do. Neurodivergent labels have helped me get accommodations for sensory issues or to get things explained differently or extensions on deadlines. I like asexual and aromantic as labels because now people don’t question me (as much) about crushes or relationships. I like the identifier of agender because it now validates my personal detachment from gender and how it’s different from others. I specify my orientation with sex-positive asexual and cupioromantic even though I don’t really tell others that because it gives me a sense of “I’m feeling things others feel and I’m valid” At the same time, I can understand labels getting restricting. There are labels I should fit in that I don’t feel comfortable with, like trans and non-binary, or Christian. There are times when my labels put stereotypes on me that I hate having to dismantle. And there are times when I’ve been not quite sure yet where actual labels are hard or where I just want to use umbrella terms. In the end, labels are about what makes you feel comfortable and validated in your experiences. For some that is broad and vague. For others that is micro labels. But both can still see their similarities and interact, and I think it can be agreed that we are more than the sum of our labels, and changing which ones you use doesn’t affect who you are as a person. I’m of the mind that labels get their value from the person they are labeling, not the other way around. And if you change labels, the time you use one is no more valuable than the time using another. And if you don’t want to use labels, your experiences aren’t worth less.
It was really interesting what you said about ambiguity because it seems impossible to escape as a human being and learning to embrace it as much as possible is beneficial too. Labels can be great if they happen to fit you but people are also constantly changing so sometimes their labels need to change with them. I also find that you can't really define someone with any label or set of labels no matter how accurate because people are still beautifully unique.
Eye-opening! As of before the video, I looked at labels in terms of a strategy that utilises a label to exclude the ambiguities of life. An act that takes away from the richness of life. The videos of paints a picture in which people use labels to build a scaffolding, a vehicle or a house, from which they cand enter the world.
I usually don't introduce myself with many labels unless it's brought up in conversation but I think they're very important for yourself. I'm a vintage wearing, feminine white woman yes, but you can tell those aspects immediately. When it comes to traits that are more personal such as my disorders or that I'm asexual I only mention them when I'm asked or if the situation needs me too. I have Misophonia and therefore have adverse reactions to a lot of auditory stimuli, but nobody needs to know unless we're in a situation, such as eating together, that could cause a reaction. Labels are important in telling who we are, but I find that sometimes people become so consumed by them that their personalities are limited to their labels. We all have personalities that extend beyond our labels and those should be embraced as well. So all in all, labels are good for helping oneself know more about who they are, but sometimes not all labels need to be stated upon first meeting if they aren't involved in whatever situation they're in.
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For the people who think labels such as autistic, disabled, or trans are pointless or "such a shame"... I'd rather be labelled by a professional and MYSELF as autistic, than be labelled by others as weird, r*****ed, and a loner.
Exactly. I've been sitting here for a minute now, trying to think of a reply, but I can't add anything it's so well said, both of you.
Hit the nail on the head! You will always be labelled something. Identifying yourself (and/or getting diagnosed) as autistic or another label you consider positive or have chosen for its accuracy, you take back the power in defining yourself instead of letting hateful people do it for you.
@@darkacadpresenceinblood Thank you! :)
Totally
The real problem with a label such as autistic is that people don't know what it means - no, worse, they believe they do. They think you must be either Sheldon Cooper or Rain man. Your label comes unfortunately with a lot of trying to educate others. Like "I do this because I tend to have sensory overload" for example. That's long. Well maybe you are in an educated community and that's easier, hope so!
💜
Yes!! 🙌🏽
“I’m gay everyday” 🏳️🌈🥺... me too
🏳️🌈💖
me too
uhhh SAME.
🏳️🌈 Me too 😊
I'm bisexual everyday and having a boyfriend doesn't change it 🌈
Getting the label 'autistic' was such a relief to me- I wasn't just badly behaved and fidgeted, I was overstimulated and stimming. So many things made more sense and it allowed me to access the help that I need that understands the specifics of the way I am. I'm very glad that this video is being made to try and tackle the 'get rid of the labels' rhetoric
Meanwhile for me. As child it was somewhat traumatic. I was 9. My biggest fear was not being normal. Then i got a label like that. And keep in mind a decade ago, there was no representation. All i knew were violent, annoying, loud boys.
Now i am fine tho.
Same.
For real! I haven’t been diagnosed yet (though I check all the boxes). I just want an explanation for all of my ‘abnormal’ behaviors.
Getting diagnosed was probably one of the best things to happen to me, I got so much more support from school, and there were reasons why I struggled so much in everyday life. At first I didn't even realise most other people saw it as "bad" either at first, which is why for my GCSE speech I'm going to be explaining autism in girls and stereotypes.
Totally agree with where you are coming from. I have ADHD but wasn't diagnosed until very recently at 23, and it finally explained so much that before had been dismissed or overlooked because I was academically successful, so I "couldn't have ADHD", as if it wasn't having a huge impact on my life in all parts 😬 I'm doing much better with it today, and now that I have a diagnosis, I finally have treatment options open to me if I want (e.g. meds, adhd-oriented counselling)
Jessica, you are so much nicer than mayonaise. More like sweet cream.
Yes I agree
whats wrong with mayonnaise 😁
Patrick Starfish wants to know if mayonnaise is a music instrument.
She is not sweet cream
She is high end Crème Patisserie!
Vegan mayonnaise? Non-dairy, dairy intolerant? Labels can be very useful. Ok, I’m going to watch some more now😁
I have crippling anxiety...
everyone: everyone gets stressed now and then.
helpful.
i have depression.
everyone: no youre just having a bad day
im gay
everyone: you'll grow out of it
I have crippling anxiety too. And I'm shy. And I'm introvert. Thankfully I have family that I can rely on and a few friends because some people's opinion is pretty ridiculous.
It may sound stupid but some people can’t distinguish actual crippling anxiety and the usual stress people have day to day because they are missing critical thinking. But yeah, sometimes the absolute dense humans can be annoying.
Doesn't help how many people label normal stress responses as anxiety and normal sad responses as depression. If you just lost your job and your dog died, of course you'll have stress and be sad. Those are responses to things that happened. But when it feels like the world is caving in and you can't breathe even though everything is really fine, and when you know you should be happy, but can't feel anything but overwhelming sadness that feels like our'e going to die, those aren't in response to things that happened. I'm really, REALLY tired of people downplaying actual disorders and mental illnesses as the same as having a response to a stressful or sad situation. If anything, not being stressed over suddenly being jobless or not being sad if your dog dies would be the unusual responses.
@@NueThunderKing It's not a lack of critical thinking, but rather being in a society where trying to explain the difference will get you pegged as "invalidating someone's experience," even though you're not invalidating their sadness over their dog dying, just trying to explain the difference between being sad in response to something that happened and depression. It doesn't hep that depression and anxiety are literally trendy to claim to have. :(
www.nytimes.com/2018/07/28/style/anxiety-necklace.html
www.talkspace.com/blog/having-a-mental-illness-isnt-fashionable/
mashable.com/article/anxiety-depression-social-media-sad-online/
Labels? On this channel, I am a tiny minority! White, straight, middle class, senior. In the rest of the U.S. I'm not. So I've always been privileged, I'm older and never needed labels, but I do own a small business and it is very beneficial to know people's labels and pronouns so they are respected and at ease.
as a nonbinary person your respect for pronouns makes me happy :') ty !!
anastasia louise same yes!!!
Me too except I’m in my teens!😊
this is so cute from you, thank you!
Bob, you're amazing :) I'm in the same boat, but a woman and I have nothing lol.
As an offensive snorer I wasn’t expecting a shout out today
This made me laugh so hard😹
same... feels good to finally be acknowledged doesn't it ;)
Funny!
@@sarahjo5570 Same!
Great comment XXX you are loved
I like having labels. It's much easier to just say "I'm autistic" than say "I have complicated personal and social issues that I can't control like not being able to make eye contact and also doing weird things in public because I'm uncomfortable". Although I do have issues with having to explain to literally everyone what pansexual means.
@@MyNontraditionalLife Misinformation plays a big role in why people assume autism is the same for everyone. I strongly feel that autism needs to be something that is PROPERLY taught in middle/high school because it could really help clear up misinformation and assumptions people have. I want to be a person that can help educate others, but leaving the burden on the average person (referring to non-professionals) to educate can be overwhelming and it shouldn't be their job unless they want it to be.
Best way to describe Pansexual is you are attracted to someone based on who they are and not what they are.
My first experience with someone who told me they were autistic was online, and the only difference I picked up on was "never ask a rhetorical question" - he would stop chatting so he could research it, find the best answer after reviewing dozens, and finally come back to the conversation long after the topic changed to share the results. Since then, I've learned that there is a huge range of specialities/ quirks covered in that blanket term, so I've learned to just go with the flow and try to keep up lol.
@@MyNontraditionalLife Idk will you get notified for me replying to you but.. I suspect I either have ADHD, autism or both even. But not in a 'stereotypical' manner as society sees us. What took you to go and diagnose yourself? Sometimes I feel like I make things up until I have a meltdown cuz of overstimulation or can't focus on anything at all.
Wouldn't it be better to say, "I _have_ autism" rather than "I _am_ autistic"? I suffer from depression but I don't define myself based on it. Maybe I have an unpopular opinion but I don't like the idea of basing my identity on something that's not actually mine.
When I was a teenager I was obsessed with finding a right label for my fluid and everchanging sexuality, but I could never settle for one without getting immense anxiety. For some reason, I've always felt labels very restrictive and pressuring, as if I had to start acting certain way if I called myself bi or lesbian, and if I didn't, I would be a fraud. As I am prone to anxiety, I just stopped labeling my sexuality completely.
I recognize and accept that labels are important to some people and communities, but I also think it is important to note that not using them is okay. For me, my sexuality and my mental health it was very freeing to understand that we all have a right to choose whether we use labels or not, and that that choice does not make us somehow worse or better as people or as a members of lgbtq+ community.
I had the same experience! As a teenager I overanalyzed all my feelings towards people desperate to label my sexual orientation somehow, but it just stressed me out and I was never comfortable with any label. I always feel like if I label myself as something I’m “intruding” in someone else’s space, because what if the label is proven wrong later. I don’t have anything against others changing labels and never had but I for some reason hold myself to a different standard 😔
Absolutely this
Labels are for the comfort of the person wearing them :) congrats on your journey and recognising your needs in this way!
I was very similar -- I called myself questioning since I was about 13, and looked at every possible label that might have described me meanwhile but doubting myself most of the time -- but I ended up just settling on calling myself bisexual as an umbrella term starting at about 16. The bi label, for me, is inherently fluid as my gender preferences are always changing and more than one are always there to some degree. It was freeing for me to finally decide on a label that personally I find best describes, as succinctly as possible, my complex sexual orientation.
Yeah! This is why I prefer broad labels: for the freedom and expectation to move around a lot and vary within them!
For a while, asexual felt very much an important identity, but these days, "somewhere on the ace spectrum" feels a better way of describing me to myself. I'll figure out where that somewhere is eventually, I'm sure, but until then I'll probably be using the umbrella term asexual to manage others expectations :)
I believe labels are useful for explaining your sexuality/gender identity to others, as well as clarifying them for yourself. But that by no means makes labels necessary. You do you babes! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤍🤎🖤
I share your sentiments. Well said!
EYY! 🤗
I agree! Whether you'd label yourself or not is fine either way. What's more important is being a good and respectful person
I think you've summed it up the best.
I feel weird about labels. I like identifying with certain labels and being able to package myself in a neat little box to give to people and be understood, but I do start to dislike them when I think about ALL of the labels I fit in. It just overwhelms me. Does that make sense?
Like I am a lesbian. Cool! I’m blind! Neat! I’m a night owl. Interisting! But when I think about myself as a blind, disabled, french, jewish lesbian, I feel sort of uncomfortable. I just don’t like feeling like a "list".
I also feel weird about labels sometimes, but not necessarily in the way that you feel. Over the past year, my body has been less and less able to do things like writing by hand, running or even walking some distances due to (what I think is) chronic pain. I'm not sure if I can label myself as disabled, because my body is not able to do some things, but at the same time I don't have a diagnosis and I'll probably never get one. It can be super-confusing sometimes. The more labels that get added to me, the more overwhelmed I feel by them
I actually related to your list exactly. I’m a 4th generation french jewish lesbian. I don’t have the visual capability to legally drive though I don’t consider myself blind enough to claim that label just visually impaired. It feels weird having a list as extensive as ours. It feels a little overwhelming sometimes.
I get what you mean. One label just feels like you simplified something about yourself, in a way that's comfortable. A list of labels feels like trying to simplify your whole personality, which I think everyone knows can't really be simplified, because we humans are so damn complicated beings.
Everyone has a ‘list’ of labels: book-lover, student, daughter, gay, cat-person, etc
I get that! I have a love/hate relationship with labels. I find it freeing to have very specific labels, but I don't like it when I get boxed into them. I use labels as tools to help me understand my world and my feelings! But I really hate feeling like I'm reduced to a list, or a science experiment, or a teeny tiny point where a dozen lines intersect. I almost never share my more complicated, almost micro labels, for that reason! Almost no one knows what they are, or believes they exist. So now, I just label myself for me, and my comfort.
There is so little representation that just seeing asexual in the thumbnail made my little ace heart happy 💜🖤
Fellow asexual here 🥰
aye same with the ace
also aroace :)
hetroromantic asexual here
🤘🏻
"You do not need to agree with someone to champion their right to a safe and humane life" 1:45 This. I wish more people understood this.
As a homoromantic asexual woman I am so goddamn tired of people who say stuff like: "whay was the ace frag included in this and not the lesbian flag?"
Like... yes, the lesbian flag absolutely should be included in lgbtqia+ representation but why do you have to put down another minority group to get your point across? That's just not necessary
THIS. ^
I've also had people tell me that I wasn't a part of the lgbtqia+ group because I was asexual. A gay person said it didn't count, because "asexuals aren't persecuted like the others". I tried to very gently explain to him that he was being hypocritical in saying so.
ive seen this happen way too many times. as an aroace person it really hurts when people try to put aces down in order to lift other people up. ive seen phrases like 'glorified virgins' and 'celibates' used quite often and its like,, clearly you do not understand asexuality at all if thats what you think we are
Every year since I was about 10, I've had an identity crisis about my sexuality, trying to work out if I'm straight, bi or gay. I came out as bi when I was 18, but recently I've put together my experiences in a way I couldn't before and realised I am almost certainly a lesbian. (No bi erasure here, bi people are not confused, don't need your opinion and fyi asking someone how many guys/gals/enbys they've 'been with' to try and work out how gay they are is not cool). It feels odd that it's taken me this long (now 22), and that I'm still struggling with this idea that I'm not 'allowed' to be a lesbian (due to a lot of internalised homophobia and a bit of gatekeeping) but these videos/this community and seeing Jessica and Claudia just being wives has helped me so much in accepting myself and seeing a future that doesn't make me uncomfortable. I feel like I finally understand myself, and that's a wonderful thing.
Note: when I've talked to people (a lot, over the last decade) I've often been told I "don't need to label" myself, but for me it has helped me accept, understand and be proud of something that caused me so much pain and shame for a long time. In another way, it's kind of like when I got measured for a bra the first time when I was 19, and I realised I'd been wearing the wrong size, and there actually wasn't anything wrong with me, even though my size wasn't available in shops, and now when I go bra shopping I know what size I need to buy.
I'm glad that now you feel confident in who you are and feel supported by your label, but when I read your first sentence, I identified so much with you and my anger at being labeled came out. I was a bit older when others started trying to label my sexuality and tried to force me into box, and to me, labeling was hurtful, hateful, and unhelpful. I felt like my life would have been much easier if I'd been allowed to just explore on my own and figure things out. The idea that labels could change wasn't popular back then, at least not in my area, and there were very few used: gay, straight, or bi, which was equal to saying confused and rejected by both sides :/
This probably falls under "finding community"/"labels save time", but being in a minority often means you are forced to educate everyone you encounter about whatever niche experiences you have had, and that is so exhausting. To stay sane, I've found I need spaces where all the basics are taken as read, and you aren't forced to act like a spokesperson for an entire community. Also, labels allow you to direct people to videos by informative youtubers who explain things so you don't have to ;-)
I have an Autistic friend who said they prefer being called Autistic than saying "They have Autism" because saying it the second way makes it sound like a disease and saying "They are Autistic" sounds more like it is who they are as a person. That really hit me some way. I never forgot that.
The labels I use towards myself are so important to me. I’ve fought so hard to get people to acknowledge my nonbinary identity, autism, chronic illnesses and disabilities. I’ve been told over and over “that’s not a thing” or “you’re making that up”.
My differences are so often erased and therefor the struggles I have from people’s lack of acceptance are too.
It really angers me to be told “oh don’t label yourself”. If I fit the societally approved standard then that would be fine but I don’t and so without the ways I describe myself people would always assume I’m the “default” and thus erase hugely important things about me.
I am myself because of the things about me so to take my words for those things away is to take who I am away from me.
I wonder who thinks it is their damn business to tell anyone what labels they should or should not use with themselves
😒
Be strong 💜🏳️🌈
Finding the term “asexual” when I was 24 practically brought me to tears. Until then, I thought I was broken. Finding out there were other people like me made me feel valuable. Finding my soulmate would not have been possible without labels.
I found the term young and associated with since I was about 14, but it was a long road anyway, still filled with people ready to tell you you're wrong about yourself, broken, lying, etc
I cried with relief too though 🖤
There was a misconception that microlabels were some how harmful to young LGBTQ, but most people who use micro labels will use their umbrella terms.
I feel like this question depends on the person, because finding a label can be hard- and there are so many different ones for different things. Just because you feel one thing, doesn’t mean you need to label it right away, or ever really. It’s that persons choice of what labels they do or don’t wanna use, and you should respect that
Agree with every word 👏👏👏👍🤟
i second that
So very relatable 🙏 I feel the exact same way
Agreed. If you want to simplify one aspect of who you are with a word, but you'd rather explain another aspect tó people without a label for whatever reason, that's fine. It's about you after all, you decide.
I find some people go a bit over the top, listing off a laundry list of labels that describe every possible aspect of themselves. But that's because I'm not that organized or detail minded. I'm sure for them its incredibly comforting to know they have everything about themselves sorted and arranged. The real thing is to find what works for you, not to feel pressured into labeling everything if you dont want to and feeling confined by them. Or feeling attacked for coming up with too many labels. Its all about the right balance for you
"Black disabled autistic" OMG! That's me !!! (among many others, paramount being "dog lover" and "occasional snorer") In serious, though, I appreciate your eloquent, insightful, and inclusive discussion about labels and their many facets, Jessica. Your videos always leave me with something to think about and embody in practice. Much love from the states ❤
Speaking of gay every day -
I was lamenting the fact that, as I don't have any elastic, I can't make myself face masks with the pan flag on, to which my brother replied "it's already a pandemic, what more do you want?" and to my pansexual asthmatic self, I have to admit it gave me a good chuckle.
(To be clear, my brother is an excellent ally and he said this because he shares my dark sense of humour)
That made me giggle too, and yes dragons are cool. 😉🐲
Fabulous lol
Labels have helped me to start accepting myself. Such as recently coming to terms that I'm Asexual but I've found that they can also be quite daunting, having a mental illnesses and wondering if that means you can call yourself disabled and what that means. 😅Here's my little rambling contribution
Love the video ❤️
It's also important to recognise that sometimes people don't want the labels they are associated with.
For example, due to autism having an incredibly varied and misunderstood spectrum of symptoms, it can be easier for autistic people to not identify with the label "autistic" if they differ from the common conception of autistic people.
This is really important !! I was actually really upset because I keep getting harassed on Instagram for my labels (i'm a nonbinary lesbian). This week strangers have been harassing me, misgendering me (I literally got spammed with comments saying "okay woman"), and basically just telling me that I'm faking my gender or that I'm "ruining the lesbian label". It's especially upsetting because,,, my labels are important to me. I'm a nonbinary lesbian, I'm poor, im physically and mentally disabled, I'm a Quaker, I'm chronically ill, and I'm also silly things like "good pasta jar opener" or "terrible dancer". so uh,,, yeah this video made me really happy
The one thing that upsets me about my labels is when I'm referred to as "the lesbian in my grade" or "that trans person" or "the autistic kid" or "the disabled one". Because it makes me feel kind of,,, tokenized?? I know I'm not the same as everyone else, and I don't want to be, but it makes me feel othered in a way.
Wow that was like,,, a whole essay and the only reason it's not even LONGER is because my brother is yelling at me for pausing Hamilton to watch thks
I think what lesbians feel is that that people are joining the lesbian label. It was exclusively for women and now everyone wants to be a lesbian. I mean, there is still a discussion about if trans man can be lesbians. Some people say no some people say yes. The point is, no one is happy and it’s just arguments. I know a Twitter user made a new label to for women who solely love women. They got attacked. It’s war. I can’t identify as a lesbian because it doesn’t feel like my label anymore. Im a women who loves women and suddenly it’s a controversial topic. I like calling my self now Sapphic. It’s basically a woman, or woman-aligned person who is romantically or sexually attracted to other women or woman-aligned people. The label is used as a way to unify all women who love other women such as, lesbians, bisexual women, pansexual women, etc, promoting solidarity among women of all identities. It’s like we like women so let’s just celebrate together instead of arguing. And we need to stop attacking each other about it. Or at least come to terms to what lesbianism is now.
@@MikasaOkumura lesbianism has always included female aligned nonbinary people. Obviously I'm not advocating for lesbian trans men, that would be incredibly transphobic. But hell, even if i was wrong, people have no excuse to harass me and my nonbinary lesbian friends.
anastasia louise from what I heard, not always. Must be misinformation since both sides change history to fit their narratives. Even then, it’s no excuse to attack people. I’m not trying to excuse anyone. I’m more talking about the mess the community is and I’m just tired of it. And I feel people would not take us seriously if we keep fighting each other. It’s okay to have disagreement with each other with the community but attacking each other is too far
You made my and Tom’s day!!!! Sunday is our 5 year anniversary, this was a great surprise present just a few days early
Happy anniversary you lovely couple!!! xxx
I wear my labels with pride, because they've helped me understand who I am, why I am who I am, and they give a window to others into who I am. They've also helped me find communities that support my well-being.
I’m White, cis, lesbian, agnostic, a bookworm, a nerd, a gamer, a Minecrafter, and a TH-camr. These are labels that I use to identify myself. There are some labels that I fall under but don’t want to use for myself because of their connotations which I don’t fall under. Pro-vaxx is an example. It implies I’m very, very intense about it. I just might say, “I believe that vaccines’ benefits outweigh their costs and that herd immunity is important.”
I also have labels that I use to refer to who I tolerate, which kind are add-ons to my other labels. I’m furry-tolerant, I’m Fortnite-tolerant. You play Fortnite? Cool. I don’t care, as long as you aren’t hurting anybody. You do you.
So agree with the connotations issue. My example: Pro life vs. Pro choice. Do I think unwanted pregnancies are horrible? Yes. Do I think it's sad that fetuses are being removed from bodies? Yes. Do I think I have the right to tell anyone else not to have an abortion? HELL NO! What I really think is that all the reasons to have abortions need to be fixed - cure the medical conditions that create the need, put an end to incest/rape, make better birth control, change lives so that no one has to say "I can't afford to be pregnant/ have a child," etc. That's the problem I have with most labels: most have an opposite, and if you choose one, it puts you at war with the other.
Doesn’t you being a Minecrafter fall under your gamer label as well?
My whole childhood my mother tried to not give me a label (or a little box as she says), she didnt let others give me a label too. Now im an adult and willingly jumped into the box labeled ADHD. And im as happy as a cat in that box.
The testimonials in this video were eye opening. Hearing everyone's feelings about labels and what they mean to them touched my heart. I wasn't as aware as I thought when it came to this subject. I am always open to being educated, and I surely was by the perspectives of all who participated in this video. However one chooses to identify, whichever label(s) they want to use, I will be accepting of you ... because it's you! Just so long as you're nice. Nice is big thing to me :))
I very much appreciated this video. Thank you Jessica, and again, thank you to all who shared your thoughts and feelings. I will be forever grateful.
👍🤟💝
I agree with more people on Jessica's channel than on any other. This is truly the beauty in pride and people who accept everyone. And I agree, being nice means everything. 😊
One comment about "race": biologically speaking, there actually aren't any different races in humans. So technically saying "there aren't any races" is right, it would be more accurate to use other words like ethnicity. But using "there aren't any races" to undermine people's experience because of their ethnicity/"race" is obviously extremely shitty. It just would be more accurate to use other words.
My opinion: there is only one race - The Human Race. And we are all a part of it.
Agreed. I really dislike when people use a play on words to silence a conversation.
@@hellcat2756 yes and no. It's not about the phenotype, but the genotype. You aren't more likely to be lactose intolerant because you're black, but because you're from Africa, for example.
Sure, maybe biologically there are no races but socially there obviously is, and it's necessary to recognize that
I'm a German speaking Italian and in both languages race is exclusively used for animals - it's synonymous with breed and it's extremely racist to use it for a person's ethnicity. we use the word ethnicity instead. if you hear someone say race when referring to a human being, you immediately know they are basically a nazi
There was a part here that resonated with me. I'm a bi man, but I've never really had a crush on a guy, let alone been in a relationship, so sometimes I have to affirm to myself that I am who I think I am. Of course, the odd cute guy does help with that 😂
Better not to close any door, don't you think 😊🏳️🌈
On Christmas Day 2018 I stumbled over a thread on Twitter, detailing which accounts best to follow, if you're LGBTQIA+. I had already come out as bisexual a year or so prior, but it had never felt like... the whole truth?
So I scrolled through the thread, following here and there and when I reached the section for the letter A and clicked randomly on the top-listed account, that was the first time I read the term asexual. And not in the way I had before: abnormal, in need of fixing, useless, broken.
No, I finally read about it as a sexuality, an actual, valid sexuality. My sexuality.
People always say things are 'mind-blowing', but I don't think most of them know, what mind-blowing actually feels like. I do now.
It was as if time stopped for a second and an eternity while I was reading, then like a rubber band bouncing back the realization hit me and a weight was lifted off my shoulders, something was opening up in my head, like I had finally found a key to a door that has always been locked.
That night I fell asleep reading while tears streamed down my face. But they were the happiest tears I have ever cried.
In the past 1,5 years I was able to explore myself so much more and here I am today: a bi-aesthetic aro ace with she/they pronouns. 💜
For me discovering and having labels has been unbelievably freeing.
Also: people don't give social media enough credit! I would never have found out about so many amazing people, identities, cultures, etc. if it hadn't been for social media. Your channel has been a wonderful source not just for beginners in intersectional topics, but also for someone whose already more versed.
P.S. Looking back, my bi-aesthetics are clear as day, because I've always thought one of the most beautiful things ever to grace the silver screen has been Julie Andrews starring in 'Victor Victoria' wearing that black tux. Google it. Simply 10/10.
Thank you for including the part about labels changing over time. I labelled myself as lesbian for years because that as all I knew. But coming out again in the last year as Pansexual and having the support from my amazing girlfriend has done wonders for my confidence. I struggled with the idea of my label changing so many years after i came out (at age 12) and with being in a women - women relationship i worried how people for now accept me. 🌈💛💙💜
P. S : I love all of your content! You are fabulous
I think the one thing to be careful of is to be sure that your experience comes before the label. As a teenager, I had trouble trying to stay in the box I others and myself put myself into. It was free-ing to learn it's okay to just be myself and figure out my labels later.
Thanks Jessica
I find labels to be both affirming and divisive. I know who/what I am, and thanks to labels I can put words to who/what I am and how I feel, but on the flip side I am pained that some people use labels as division. Maybe I'm not xyz but it does not mean I can't empathise with someone who is xyz. I do feel we're far more than what we label ourselves with. I feel labels should specify who we are, not exclude who, or what, we are not.
Labels... it depends in what context 😄
I am:
- a mother.
- a woman.
- a transfem drag king.
- a pansexual masochist dom.
- a big fan and colector of pokémon.
- an animal lover and a farmer.
- a priestess of the moon and a druidess.
- autistic and have cronic pains.
- an wildchiled.
- an romantic.
so yea.. many labels 😄 and they are inportant for me, in my day to day life I dont think much about it but when I have to explain myself to others I can relax because I have all these helpfull labels to explain myself with 😄
I proudly identify as a shy, white, heterosexual, European, stay at home wife (which is becoming increasingly difficult in today's society) and no that doesn't mean that I am suppressed or lazy, I just value a more simple old fashioned life where my family and community are my priority. I understand that I am privileged and mostly accepted in society. I enjoy meeting all sorts of people and labels allow me to help others feel comfortable, loved and accepted as valued members to society and the community. I find that life is much more enjoyable when people are free to be who they are without feeling ashamed and instead embracing their chosen labels a d the freedom they get from doing so.
As someone who had a visual impairment for a large part of my life, I really appreciate the voiceover! Access is so important to be part of the conversation
I feel like labels help us connect with a community and with other people. Like you said, the brain doesn’t like ambiguity and that’s not something that is going to change anytime soon (it takes more than a few hundred years for evolution to do its work). So really, it’s going to be very difficult for people to accept and feel comfortable with having “no mould” to identify with. The solution is to have infinite moulds! Accept all of them but also being able to identify with them.
Ignoring the differences is ridiculous. Differences are there! I work with animals and it would be insane to try and ignore the colours, the sex, the species of the animals I work with. I need all those informations to identify them and to communicate with other people about them. What I believe is the way towards being all equal isn’t to ignore the differences but to celebrate them, not hide from them, accept and understand them instead.
I hate it when I hear someone saying “my child is too young to learn about ___blank_subject___” (like having a gay couple in a kid movie)
That’s ignoring that there are different people in the world. No one is too young to understand that not everyone is the same and that it’s okay.
Yes all lives matter, yes everyone matter, but it would be foolish to think that we will all be equal by ignoring the past and the differences it creates today. Acceptance and love start with understanding and curiosity imo! ❤️
so early wow!! uploaded a few seconds ago i cant believe im this early
and labels are very important to me. as someone who's neurodivergent (diagnosed ADHD, working on figuring out if i do qualify for a diagnosis of autism though i've been professionally told i have "significant autistic traits" so i'm working on going to a specialist) its very important to have those labels. i was diagnosed with ADHD a mere few months ago at age 17. i cried (happy tears) when i was diagnosed because finally, i had a word to describe how i experience life. that label may sound negative to others (i used to think it was!) but to me it is positive because it explains that yes, i AM different, yes, i DO need assistance, and that label makes sure that i can get the help and understanding i need to flourish. since finding out i have ADHD i've been able to look back on my life and see where i clearly struggled because i wasn't labelled and thus couldn't access care. now, i can do what i need to do to make my life easier. i can say "hey, i'm neurodivergent, there are things i struggle with that others don't" and people can understand what's up. i can also now find others who have similar experiences!
other than that, i identify as lesbian and somewhere on the ace spectrum (but i don't know if it's my mental health impacting how i wish to experience relationships), i identify as someone with a mental illness due to anxiety/OCD and depression, chronically ill due to chronic pain and fatigue, digestive disorder, and endometriosis; things like that. they all help explain who you are as a person so people get to know you, whats important to you, and what your needs are. because the bottom line is, due to my health and brain, i have different needs than someone who is fully healthy and neurotypical. the labels make sure that everyone's needs are met so they can live happy lives!
As someone with an undiagnosed chronic illness, I am desperate for a diagnosis so that I can use the label of chronic illness. Not only would it reassure myself that it's real and I'm not crazy, I would finally feel like I could ask for help or special consideration when I need it. Without I feel like I've fallen somewhere between the cracks and just need to deal with it on my own.
I've been thinking about this question a lot lately (I'm a teen who's planning her coming out, yay!), so I was really excited for this video, and I wasn't disappointed. You kind of changed my mind, because until now, I thought I "didn't like labels", but I just realised that a lot of words that I like to use, not necessarily about sexuality but other things, are labels too that I didn't think of when saying that. Can't wait for the second part!
Good luck and congrats on coming out!
Great video! To me labels are important because I spent the bulk of my life feeling broken until I found the label of trans man and found others like me. I no longer feel broken, just different. I finally started using the label chronically ill and it has reduced expectations that I cannot always live up to, which is amazing on my self worth.
I am an autistic, gay trans man who is monogamous and in a monogamous relationship. All of these are important as it helps me understand why I have the perspectives I do and allows other people to know that I'm not into women or available as a partner within a poly relationship and me being trans allows me to explain the journey of discovery and the transition process I went through.
I figured out I was asexual when I was 29. After years of thinking there was something wrong with me, and being told I had ‘too high standards”. I found the word on Pinterest and did some research and had a light bulb moment. I wasn’t broken, I wasn’t a snob, I was asexual. Labels are important and representation of all labels is important. No one should go through 29 years of thinking they are broken because they didn’t know all their options. Because their label was talked about ever. I am still the only asexual person I know. But at least I know who I am now.
Growing up as bisexual, I struggled with my sexuality a lot, mostly because I didn't really know that bisexuality is the thing that exist. I knew about existence of gay people (and society I was growing up was significantly less homophobic than it is now), but I had a crushes on men too, so I wasn't lesbian, right? So when I first encountered blatantly bi character in a piece of media, I was shocked. But I didn't know how to describe it in words, and said media was a product of the same society that raised me - so it didn't named anything as well. So, I just decided that main character of that piece was a straight girl with "heterosexual crush on a woman" (yep, really), and that was how I identified for a long time. Only when - much older - I encountered a word, a label, only then I could put my own experience in words and compare it to the label and finally find out who I really am. So for me, labels are dear, because they give name, they start a conversation, and then you can figure out whether you want to use it or maybe not.
this is like a summarized intro to gender and women studies class and it's so helpful and comprehensive!!!! thank u for such an incredible resource!!
Society at large said;
'You lot are different, so you go in this box, and you over there go in this other box, and all these other boxes are for you who are different', and then those people thought about it and said;
'Actually I think I belong in this box over here,' and began sorting themselves into the boxes THEY chose, and society said;
Surprised Pikachu Face
i've identified with my diagnoses of depression and anxiety for nearly 10 years now, and knowing that my illness is valid and navigable is such a relief. i also identify as bisexual and somewhere on the asexual spectrum, and before i knew that the asexual label existed, i thought i was broken. and most recently i've learned that i have ADHD, and getting that explanation for my behavior and why i relate to other people with ADHD has been so validating as well! all of these labels are so helpful in explaining who i am to myself - for example, my attention span is terrible, but i'm not a POS, i just have ADHD; i don't experience much sexual attraction, but there's nothing wrong with me, i'm just asexual.
I recently discovered that I am Asexual, being able to identify with this label helped me to feel more normal, like I wasn't some libido-less anomaly.
I feel more confident with myself and I can explain who and what I am to future partners more easily. It was a relief to to add Asexual to my list other of identities, which include Pansexual, Nerd, Goth and Female. I can share my experiences with others that understand me, and that is something I will never take for granted.
I avoided relationships when I was younger because I didn't really know what I was. Then I learned about asexuality, and that fit me. Once I had that fit, I found biromantic also fit as an extension of that. And now I'm desperate for a relationship but too scared to pursue anything because I didn't get the chance to practice how to do that when I was younger because I didn't have the words to explain what I was feeling back then
I was born into this world as a minority in a multitude of aspects (ethnicity, 'religion' that wasn't even by choice, sexuality, being a foreigner, etc. etc.) so 'labels' were put on me before I even fully understood what each one meant (with the exception of my sexuality, I guess, that was all me despite being in a very conservative Asian society + attending convent schools throughout my childhood, ha!). Some were helpful, some were harmful. And as I grew as a person, I started to understand that labels are simply identifying words to the different facets of your character and your person. It helps other people see parts of who you are without having to tell an entire decade's worth of your journey in the first few seconds of meeting someone new. It's convenient. It's helpful to those who will need certain aspects of themselves to be directly identified from the get-go (i.e. the medical condition one for example, it's CLUTCH to some people to prevent... well, death in some cases). Which is why, it's incredibly important to respect the labels that someone has made clear for themselves.
Having said that however, I myself, am not particularly attached to/care about the different labels I've been given, I've chosen and I've earned throughout the years. Because I also think of labels, quite literally as the 'names'/'titles'. Kind of like, how when we say London, it helps people think of Big Ben and the royal family, and the London Eye, etc. But that doesn't mean that's all there is to London. There is so much more to the city with its historic buildings, the beautiful parks, the general journey the city has been through... And that I find, is exactly like a person. The label is the starting point, which is why it's important. But it's not the only important one; it's equally as important that we also try to see the depth of someone behind the list of labels, especially if they're someone who's going to be in your life for the long run. So I suppose, start with labels, but don't stop there.
I think what's important to remember is that forcing labels on someone who doesn't want to label themselves can be just as harmful as forcing the no label mentality on someone who has found labels they're happy with!
5:54 As an autistic person, I relate to this heavily. I can't count how many times I've heard people say "Well, we're all a little autistic!" Those people have no idea what autism is really like and probably liken it to simply being quirky or weird without all of the struggles that autistic people typically go through.
Thank you Jessica! Love this video. I remember way back in my younger years I was exploring my identity and labels I could use, and another person shut me down, and I didn't feel validated by using labels to identity. Having labels are important! Thank you!
I was so relieved when my disability finally got a name! People need a way to define things simply. My disability has turned into a super-power during quarantine as I have been homebound for years and have been able to help others cope with the isolation and boredom.
Oh my god that fursuit. As a cosplayer, im floored at the craftsmanship. THE JAW MOVED AS THEY TALKED!!
My parents say all lives matter. I still can't figure out how to explain to them that they should very much *NOT* say that in a way they can understand.
Explain to them that no one is saying one's life matters more than the other's, but when black/gay/trans etc lives are in literal danger, all lives CAN'T matter until their lives matter.
use this analogy:
so there's a row of identical houses. one of the houses catches fire, but when the fire brigade arrive they waste time by pouring water onto the other houses, because they believe that "all houses matter".
i think it's because the older generations experienced the damage that labelling and segregation can do - defining people and making assumptions based on certain characteristics can be very dangerous - it can over simplify things and exclude other vulnerable parties who dont easily fit into a category. for decades western society has been making a collective effort to destroy the mindset that judges people and discriminates against them - which was the cause of a lot of inequity to begin with - so yeah i think that can be misunderstood as a kind of retaliation, when we all want the same thing ❤️ try not to get too hung up on words, let your actions speak loudest
I think because people were fed equality for so very long that feels right and to treat everyone the same for so long means they are not racist , and so BLM feels like a form of segregating one race in a certain type of way shape or form and in turn could potentially be turned negatively later.
Its extremely complicated for alot of people to explain this feeling.
ask them if they say "ALL bears are important!" when someone says "save the pandas"
Thank you for this video Jessica. I have had a degree of stress about watching people yell, scream and fight about their right to labels and how society should accept all these labels. You are the first person who has clarified that to deny labels is to deny who people are. I am not a label person but I understand why now. Over time we will come to have these new words for identity in common language and then it will be much easier for those that identify as one or many labels to be understood and help to understand themselves and not be stressed for not being seen for who they are.
For me, knowing I have OCD was one of the most important label i found to define myself. Knowing how my brain works helps me find strategies to accomplish my goals and also work with my therapist to find where my OCD came from, and how to better treat it. People often don't understand why I find so important to put names to how I'm feeling and what I identify with, but I don't think people realize how practical labels/identify definers are.
Personally, I think labels and representation can be good. I always thought I was pansexual, but i knew something wasn't quite right, as I couldn't relate to some thoughts and experiences that other people had. It was 1 week after my 29th birthday that I realised I was sex-favourable asexual. I didnt realise how much my worry that there was something wrong with me because i couldn't relate to things other people were saying was affecting me, until I felt relief in knowing that there was nothing wrong with me, I was just asexual.
And representation is important too. I wouldn't have figured out I was asexual if I hadn't come across a character in a fanfiction who described exactly how I felt.
I've recently been diagnosed with autism and it's just been so amazing to have a name for all of the difficulties that have always been unexplained. Before my labels were "pathetic" or "oversensitive" but I'm not! I'm autistic and I have a bunch of strengths because of it that can be assets as much as my difficulties are disabling. I'm also able to access different types of support at uni to just what my anxiety entitles me to. I believe labels are for the comfort of the person wearing them.
Acknowledging and seeing the different life experience you have because of the colour of your skin is important and a big step in fighting racism. Saying you are of a different race is harmful. The concept of different human races was invented by the colonizers as a defence for the exploitation of the 'lesser races'. Every time you speak about humans with the concept of race, you still are using the language of the colonizers and racism wins. There is no biological basis for different human races.
I'm a transgender woman and a lesbian. Those are both pretty important to me, and I really dislike the amount of gatekeepers telling trans women and non-binary people we can't be lesbians because it invalidates "real" lesbians. Like Jessica said I'm this video; one person's label has no effect on yours. She's absolutely right, and I wish more people would learn that lesson.
My personal labels have evolved over time, thank you for pointing this out so clearly. Labels are not a box we are sealed into. The box which is my personal space looks like a vintage piece of luggage, with labels stuck all over it, and over lapping. Thank you for this very clear and kind explanation of the importance of labels in self identification!
"because i'm gay, everyday" PLEASE MAKE THAT MERCH!!!!!! :) XD
I think labels are very useful in building self, finding community, and for quickly expressing complicated subjects. Theres some use to the idea that were all people and living beings for the sack of saying, "I won't discriminate against them or I'll help them because they're just people like me not lesser or gross." Labels are pretty important to me because they've helped ground me, given me an anchoring point, helped me find people like me, and helped me explain the way I am and feel to other people.
as someone who uses words a lot to describe and understand everything, labels are really important when I found the words that describe my experience it was a relief. I felt like I wasn't alone and I wasn't losing my mind
Labels help me describe the experience of being me so when i hear people saying that i dont need labels and we should stops making words up it hurts and is very annoying
but I also have to remind myself that I dont need a word for everything, while it is nice to understand and have boxes to put myself in it can be really tiring and humans are much more complex than that
My labels are important to me. They help keep me grounded when I find myself in anxiety spiral. They're like a life vest that keeps me tethered to my reality, even when I feel like I'm drowning in confusion.
I put on Jessie's videos to fall asleep to when I'm having a bad brain day because her aura of kindness is a powerful thing to ward off the flashbacks. Thank you for helping my brain find safe spaces
Last time I was this early broadway was closed and now we have Hamilton yay. I just wanted to say finding another disabled lesbian was life changing and your content has helped me so much
I have found great support in labels as it has given answers to different questions and have made it easier for others to understand me and my reactions. I am a pansexual polyamorous non-binary trans man with moderate autism and a personally disorder which have made it difficult to fit in when I am supposed to be and act "normal". Love you all ❤🖤
So I am a female that likes females but I also like non-binary people so I don’t know what I’d call that. Is that Bisexual?
Technically if you like non binary people (as well as binary), it’s encouraged that you use Pansexual as opposed to Bisexual, but both are totally fine! At the end of the day it’s which ever feels right to you! 💖💜💙
And that includes no label what so ever,
as well!
There are manny multigender sexualities, incliding pansexual, bisexual, omnisexual, and polysexual. From what you are discribing I'd say you sound polysexual, but obviously that's up to you to find if it fits you.
(Polysexual is liking multiple genders, but not liking all genders)
Polysexual? Idk, that's apparently when you like more than one gender.
@@missmek1314It's encouraged? By who? Bisexual people have never only used the word 'bisexual' in a binary capacity. The most consistent definition given (for multiple decades) by actual bisexual organizations has been two or more genders, or more than one gender. Not 'men and women'. The Bisexual Manifesto which was released in 1980's affirms the existence and inclusion of nonbinary people in Bisexual attraction, and a lot of nonbinary people identify as Bisexual and have for decades. The word Pansexual is no more appropriate or 'correct'/sensitive than Bisexual, and saying that is spreading misinformation. Implying that one terms is 'better'/more appropriate than the other (even if you add 'both are totally fine') really isn't okay. It's obviously up to someone to choose what they're more comfortable with, but that shouldn't be based on some false misconception that 'Bisexual means two' or 'Bisexual is/used to be a problematic word'.
I have a few labels, bi, neurodiverse, etc. But the most important game changing label for me was being able to label some stuff from my childhood as abuse. I didn't think of it that way for so long and had trouble reconciling myself to how angry and traumatised I felt, I felt guilty about this trauma, only when I learned that I could label something that happened to me as child abuse and myself as an abuse survivor did my trauma get better.
Another thing I think is good to remember about labels, building on what Eliza said at the end: you don't need to shift yourself to match the labels that you feel fit you. Rather, the labels can be seen to be useful like a map-they're not the whole 1:1 scale territory, but they usefully orientate you and others!
It should be pride all the year. Amazing video as always. Labels are kind of a necesity (?) for the human kind so we can process better whats around us, is like something engrained (sorry for my very bad grammar and english but english is not my first language) in our minds since way back. Love from Mexico :3
I personally don't use labels for myself, but i really like to know about other people's labels and especially different one's being represented on media! it's so interesting and it makes me really happy to see people discovering themselves and being happy with who they are! thank you very much for this video!
I found such comfort in finding the label of bisexual. When i first encountered the term i spent hours binging youtubers talking about it and reading about it, because I finally understood what I had been experiencing. It made me feel less alone and more in-tune with myself. :)
Thank you, Jessica for addressing yet another important subject with grace and competence.
I personally think that labels are useful when they make sense to the person who decide to carry them in order to understand themselves and being socially aknowledged in relation to others.
In no case they need to become a stigma or mark of shame or something that allow others' lazyness and lack of social skills.
Labels are not the problem. The use that you make of them can become a problem.
I must admit I struggle with all the labels and what they mean 😅 I try my best to remember and let others know!
Seeing so many people confirm the idea of changing labels honestly just really warmed me. As someone who come from a non-Western culture and language, labels are something that I still struggle with and while I've adopted some labels, I tend to think of them as an always-moving spectrum. It's amazing especially when it comes to language. There are some things that I never had to think about (such as pronouns and titles) that I have to think about within the English language to identify myself and others, while other labels (such as LGBTQIA+ terms) from the Western world and language that simply didn't exist in my native tongue so I struggled so much with that part of my identity because I had no words for it. Although I may not be able to always express or explain my identity, for me, at a personal level, I find comfort in it, knowing I'm not just 'different'.
I find I feel much more strongly about the labels I’ve explored and claimed as a part of myself as I’ve gotten older than I do about the ones people labeled me as when I was a child and never knew to question such things. I didn’t use the term “disabled” for the first 18 out of 20 years of being chronically ill and being an ambulatory wheelchair user because I wasn’t sure it truly fit my situation, I didn’t know my pain was going to become chronic and because I had some internalized ableism to identify and deal with. But once I claimed that label of “disabled” and had that moment where it just clicked for me, it was sooo liberating and empowering and has allowed me to look at myself in a new light! :) I also feel strongly now that I am a “feminist” and how empowering that is for me as well! I used to absolutely say I was with family and close friends when I was younger and was shocked anyone that knew me had to even ask me that and then as I grew up, I knew some people that had such a negative connotation with the word “feminist” that I’d be more quiet about my own feminist view points so as not to rock the boat. But now I am very eager to say I AM a “feminist” and if people have a problem with it, then that’s their problem and not mine. I also proudly say I am a “huge sci-fi geek” a lot and have for years. People would say “geek” so meanly when I was in school but when I really understood what that word meant for me and started saying it proudly to describe myself, I loved how it felt and it did make it easier to find fb groups where people had similar interests. I think the more labels I explored and claimed as a way to describe myself as I got older, the more eager I became to have the right words to describe different parts of myself but coming to the realization that I was “disabled” rather than just “chronically ill” was the big label for me that really made the light bulb go off and made me feel like I was part of a community. Having that switch in my mind from fighting how serious my chronic condition was to accepting that I WAS disabled gave me a lot of freedom that I didn’t even know I was lacking in my life and that has been hugely important for me, especially when it comes to my relationship with my cute purple cane and my newer wheelchair. I no longer focus on the “what if’s” and appreciate that I have these tools to help me get around easier when needed and labeling myself as “disabled” also went a long ways towards helping me with that last bit of acceptance that was important for me when it came to my condition. I can now say that I am a disabled woman whether my chronic illness is “invisible” that day or I can’t even turn in my wheelchair to get my water because of the pain and having that label that accurately describes what I am after 20 years of chronic pain has been very liberating for me! :)
I just recently had a big argument with some close family about labels (not specifically lgbt I’m not out yet, but other ones like able-bodied and white ext.) but they got quite angry at me literally saying “labels are like noses, you don’t want to tie yourself down” and the rest of my points were just ignored.
This video made me feel so much better about using labels to help describe myself and to make me feel like I fit somewhere.
Thank you Jessica and all the people who submitted your opinions!
Can you do a video on how you came to terms with being ‘disabled’? I’m struggling right now. I think I qualify as disabled, but as an American who can still work, I struggle owning it. I still feel the pressure of maintain a ‘normal’ pace of life. How do you cope with not having the energy/ability to do ‘normal’ things?
I confess to being very uncomfortable with labels - mostly because I struggle with labeling myself in all sorts of ways. Growing up it contributed to my anxiety: it seemed like everyone else had figured out who they were and I was falling behind. Now in my twenties I recognize the selfishness in projecting my own insecurities on others that find comfort and empowerment in affirming their identities. So I might not find labels helpful in my own effort to understand certain aspects of myself, but I make a conscious effort in respecting the labels others give themselves.
I think labels are great. You being able to classify yourself as something or other helps you feel connected to other people who identify the same way. Labels themselves unite people. What I don’t like, however, is when people consider their labels (especially those that are related to things they have no control over, like race, sexuality or health status) to be key parts of their identity. Of course, those things really affect their life, but they are so so much more than that. I know many wonderful people who happen to be disabled, or non straight, or non cis, but they have so much more to offer beyond that. They’re smart, talented, motivated people, and that’s what they’re known for - not for liking a certain gender or having a diagnosis. People shouldn’t cling to something they have no influence over to fully represent them, but rather develop their own identity. You are all amazing human beings!
Everytime I see a fur suit like that I'm just... In awe... That craftsmanship is incredible! (I'm a theatre technician btw, but I think I might also be convinced to become a fur suit producer...)
Labels are important to me because I feel like they help qualify how we interact with the world to people within our communities and people outside who we want to understand us. Also it’s important to have language available to talk about things like this because if the words and labels didn’t exist it’d be a lot harder to talk and discuss and explain how we interact with society and what we need to be changed. I think the meanings we give others can come with some serious and harmful issues. The language we use to describe ourselves and others heavily influences societal perspectives but it’s so subjective in some instances as well.
Just so you know, for someone who "appears white" the common term (at least in the US) is "white-passing," so for example, I'm a white-passing Puerto Rican - most people assume I'm white, but my mom and her family are from Puerto Rico, I just happened to inherit a lot of the genes leading to paler skin and hair colors, but I can get quite tan. I'm also cis-passing, despite actually being non-binary (and use they/them), and I'm an autistic person who masks quite well. Finding these labels has been incredibly helpful for me, has helped me feel more comfortable with myself, and also helped me find communities that support me. Labels can be so important for people who feel "different" but can't figure out what it is that's making them different, or feel alone in the feelings they have. It's so amazing to have the realization of "I'm not alone in this," and hear similar experiences.
Loved the Eastern European shoutout
I wish this video existed a year or two ago when I was trying to explain this to my mom. She didn’t understand why the label bisexual was such a big deal to me because it didn’t affect the way that she viewed me, but I think she finally understands that it’s important to me and is, by extension, important to her.
My mom never told me when I was diagnosed with Non-Verbal Learning Disorder because she didn't want me to feel labeled. But when I found out, it was such a huge relief to know why I am the way I am. I'd rather understand and accept my label instead of just spending my entire life thinking I'm stupid and socially awkward. I don't like using my diagnosis as a huge part of my identity, but I like knowing it exists, it helps me feel less alone. The point is, it's good to have labels. We can't pretend we're all the same, but we also can't use labels as our only identifying characteristics.
Labels have allowed me to seek accommodations for myself. When you think everyone is like you you think everyone is dealing with the same crap you do. Neurodivergent labels have helped me get accommodations for sensory issues or to get things explained differently or extensions on deadlines. I like asexual and aromantic as labels because now people don’t question me (as much) about crushes or relationships. I like the identifier of agender because it now validates my personal detachment from gender and how it’s different from others. I specify my orientation with sex-positive asexual and cupioromantic even though I don’t really tell others that because it gives me a sense of “I’m feeling things others feel and I’m valid”
At the same time, I can understand labels getting restricting. There are labels I should fit in that I don’t feel comfortable with, like trans and non-binary, or Christian. There are times when my labels put stereotypes on me that I hate having to dismantle. And there are times when I’ve been not quite sure yet where actual labels are hard or where I just want to use umbrella terms.
In the end, labels are about what makes you feel comfortable and validated in your experiences. For some that is broad and vague. For others that is micro labels. But both can still see their similarities and interact, and I think it can be agreed that we are more than the sum of our labels, and changing which ones you use doesn’t affect who you are as a person. I’m of the mind that labels get their value from the person they are labeling, not the other way around. And if you change labels, the time you use one is no more valuable than the time using another. And if you don’t want to use labels, your experiences aren’t worth less.
It was really interesting what you said about ambiguity because it seems impossible to escape as a human being and learning to embrace it as much as possible is beneficial too. Labels can be great if they happen to fit you but people are also constantly changing so sometimes their labels need to change with them. I also find that you can't really define someone with any label or set of labels no matter how accurate because people are still beautifully unique.
Eye-opening! As of before the video, I looked at labels in terms of a strategy that utilises a label to exclude the ambiguities of life. An act that takes away from the richness of life. The videos of paints a picture in which people use labels to build a scaffolding, a vehicle or a house, from which they cand enter the world.
I usually don't introduce myself with many labels unless it's brought up in conversation but I think they're very important for yourself. I'm a vintage wearing, feminine white woman yes, but you can tell those aspects immediately. When it comes to traits that are more personal such as my disorders or that I'm asexual I only mention them when I'm asked or if the situation needs me too. I have Misophonia and therefore have adverse reactions to a lot of auditory stimuli, but nobody needs to know unless we're in a situation, such as eating together, that could cause a reaction. Labels are important in telling who we are, but I find that sometimes people become so consumed by them that their personalities are limited to their labels. We all have personalities that extend beyond our labels and those should be embraced as well. So all in all, labels are good for helping oneself know more about who they are, but sometimes not all labels need to be stated upon first meeting if they aren't involved in whatever situation they're in.
Can I just say this is one of your best videos. I love the discussion format! I feel like I learned so many things.