@@JimmyJoeBob you just described a boss i had... who couldnt figure out why all her employees were jerks. LOL.. i mean every employee she worked with would just start treating her 1:1 how she treated everybody she viewed as below her... we all knew something she we learned later she did not... we were more valuable to the company then she was... her MBA ment fuck all, her uncle gave her a job... she didnt earn it properly... and was not suited to it... imagine a party girl karen whos ego is out of control, and not in any way justified by any skills she actually has... double it... you are almost there, just do that a few more times... :P what was funny,she fucking hated me.. when she one day bought up at meeting with clients, how she wanted to take over a project myself and tabby were running, because i was hard to work with, rude, didnt listen, on and on... just a tirade rant against me and tabby... she couldnt figure out why i had this fucking joker grin on my face... the client is somebody whos known me a very long time and knows im quite easy to work with and the only way you endup with issues is trying to micro manage me.. dont show methe respect i show others..etc.. or disrespect people i respect.. or shit who simply dont deserve it.. well, he asked her some questions, then informed her, that, he got why we warned him about her personality, and not to blow up at her, she know not what she speaks of... he had not known tabby long but.. he let her know he knew me most of my life, and as a kid, didnt like me much, till he realized it was because i was like he was as a kid.. always asking questions and curious to a fault.. he came to the company because i told him, i thought we could do the job, it wasnt our forte per-say but it was in the wheel house, just needed to get tooling done for the job they wanted done... that in the end shifted to much more robust metal castings rather then plastic injection molds, as the metal versions afte testing could be sold with professional weight/stress ratings... anyway.... he was blunt...but even better, after he went to get himself a drink, his daughter just started talking and the room went silent.. she pointed out she grew up with me, and to get me to act how she described... she must have really fucked up... because... "hes the nicest asshole your likely to meet in a livetime" (shes said that about time since highschool...initially to roast me a bit...when i smiled and gave her a genuine "aww thanks, you really do know and love me"... well everybody there laughed... even i agreed it was true... i dont suffer fools and idiots well honestly. less so as a broken down old man...
@@VadulTharys We build civilizations on the sturdy backs of people like Samwise Gamgee. He passed the ultimate test of loyalty when he doubled back to aid Frodo, after discovering the secretly-discarded Lembas during his descent. He had character of the magnitude evoked when we speak the phrase, "May I someday be as good a Man, as my Dog thinks I am."
Xenos: "Red blood?! They will kill us all!" Humans: "What? No, dude, we just have-" Xenos: "INVASION!" [Slaughters entire populations] Humans: "...Oh, you just f@#$ed up."
GA: "When they put one of yours into the hospital, you put one of theirs in the hospital." Humans: "You mean, you put one of theirs into the morgue, right?" GA: "What?!" Humans: "What?"
Aliens: Terrified of the peaceful monsters. Also aliens: Provoke the peaceful monsters. ...Also aliens: *Shocked Pikachu, the previously peaceful monsters are now just monsters!*
The aliens are not too bright here. 😂 They deserved that. I wonder if they realize the irony that humanity was treating them like a red blooded species and preparing for attack, and the aliens proved them right in their assumptions. Therefore the aliens acted like a red blooded species with that attack, just a very dumb red blooded species.
"It is an undeniable, and may I say a fundamental quality of man, that when faced with our own extinction, every alternative is preferable" -Leonard Church
The native americans demonstrated this aspect at the battel of little horn every indian nation. Banded together for one last push ....even though they faild but to them it was a better alternative than conquest
Funny thing about this is that in a strange way, the red blood thing actually makes some sense. On a world so death ridden as ours, creatures have to evolve to be the best they can be to survive- thus, iron based blood, or red blood, the most efficient type of blood. Red blood does not cause a violent world, it's a common result of it.
Exactly. Anything less than optimal efficiency will be weeded out on a world that's harsh enough, on a tame world efficiency will not rise much above the minimum requirement.
The garden of eden is also a harsh world if it’s lush enough. When the living conditions are optimal it can create a large variety of species like what happened on earth which will drive the need for the evolutions to be more Efficient or productive will the defects will die out. You see what makes a forest a forest is not the trees but rather the variety of life that lives there because when there are hundreds of different species living in an area it virtually creates herd immunity and protects all the species though that while a single species forest will die off from a series of epidemics. This is also why I dislike the nazi’s idea of there being a superior race, the genetic diversity makes us and our planet stronger so why reduce it.
@@RoxyTheReaper Honestly that is kind of the point of another story I listened, that basically had Earth be the galactic equivalent to the Garden of Eden, but still had us as a Death World predator with how effective we were in combat, simply because there were to many apex predators fighting for control, for to long to have not become equal to those that evolved on a Death World instead of those that evolved on a Paradise World. Found the video the story was in th-cam.com/video/yEOMQugPTH0/w-d-xo.html&lc=UgyLw8WVNKmOpSZc4zZ4AaABAg.9OcfSHwIJMc9QI1tx5B1D-
Was going to write it myself. While there are still some surviving ancient species that have non-iron based blood, 99.9999999999999999% of life is iron based.
@@bearstarpresents2264 most life on our planet doesn't have blood of any kind (plants, fungi, and bacteria) but copper based hemoglobin is still jest as effective as iron based. In fact some of the most valuable blood you can get your hands on is Copper based blue blood for it superior coagulation ability. Don't jest believe red blood is better because an ather uses that to tell a story.
GA/Aliens: *(Blames Humanity over extreme superstitions and use that excuse to try and invade and genocide them)* Humanity: *(Shocked and confused with Boiling Vengeance as they counter attack with Absolute Fury)* GA/Aliens: *(Surprised Pikachu Face)*
But the Humans were oppressing us with their red blood privlidge! ~ The Left (which is to say the xenos who were left after Humanity was done with them).
@@SiegeTF your joke falls flat because the humans didn't have "red blood privilege". The Humans were discriminated against with exaggerated myths and superstitions much like how we have done to each other throughout history.
@@quinnholton773 and now universities have brought back racially segregated spaces so students of colour can study without being oppressed by white students and their privlidge. Because everybody knows how oppressed university students are.
@@SiegeTF funny how you didn't actually acknowledge how you were wrong. You're nothing more than a fool with a flowchart of bad talking points. Go cry about your white fragility else where.
@@gingercore69If im not wrong, i think horse shoe crabs have blue blood, they are commonly hunted and drained of their blood cuz some people believe it has healing properties (ironic huh?)
Whoever the Swiss equivalent of the aliens is probably had a funn time watching the war without having to fear what a human victory might bring the other aliens
``Agressive neutrality`` the Swiss had so little for people to gain from defeating them and mountains easy to defend but hard to get. Anyone and i do mean ANYONE who tried encurred losses to the point when they realized it was just not worth it and gave up...
@@kjelljohanbraten7408 It was even more aggressive than that at one point. During the second world war, numerous attempts were made by allied forces to fly over or land in Swiss territory. Now, i'm Dutch, and we were "neutral", in that we laid on our back to anyone who came looking, which caused capitulation in literal days when Germany came knocking. Switzerland however, was NEUTRAL. Enter their land with any military intent, no matter which way it was directed at nor came from, it got NEUTRALIZED. So allied forces flew over Switzerland to get into occupied/hostile territory more than once. And they suddenly found out that neutral means that everyone is treated equal; You get shot out of the sky, regardless of country of origin. I recall Americans landing in Switzerland thinking they were a neutral ally, only to be surprised with a hard bed in a jail cell. Neutrality isn't sitting and waiting for someone to come over, hoping that no one will. Neutrality is making sure that no one WANTS to come over, and when they do, you're capable of _carefully and succinctly_ explaining to them why you can't participate. :) Neutrality is lonely, hard, and will require you to make choices you might not want to make. To this day, some people think that Switzerland just sat there, waiting it out. But they were the epitome of red-blooded humanity; Shake hands with one hand, while sharpening the blade with the other. They are a testament to true independence from influence. *'Aggressive Neutrality'; Beware the chained Wolf, and approach at your own risk.*
@@Volvith well, they were, i got friends from there who moved here due to how far left and woke the country was getting decades ago, they say its just painful to visit home now.. they got whole areas with warning signs to keep natives out because its dangerous in some predominantly muslim areas for outsiders, grooming gang issues the govt refuses to address including native local minor girls being used as sex toys by groups of men... really weird for a country thats also quite feminist but... the level of cog-dis i have seen from hard leftists in the last couple decades has made me reset my estimation of just how stupid humans can be, yet somehow still function enough to not die from forgetting to breath/eat/drink... note: im not anti-muslim, i got more then a few friends who are but, their families came here when shit started to go side ways across the middle east(thanks cia!!!), and they flat out say that you have to watch it around middle eastern muslims, some are chill as fuck, others will try and murder you for saying something nobody else in the room found offensive... like simply saying your not of their religion, shit i dated a muslim girl at her fathers insistance, him knowing full well im an anti-theist.. (fuck organized religions/cults/etc.. including wokeness) , we are still friends, and, i found out later part of why he wanted us to date was so she wouldnt be around the cousin the family sent over who was.. not integrating well.. and never planned to.. once they had proof he was involved with the kind of people who blow up shit at parks during events... they turned him in, and helped the govt track down his group of friends... he knew 1. i would protect her from him, and he had issues with her not wearing a burka, not a hajab but full on burka like his mom and sisters did back home.. on and on... just... hell she rarely wore a head scarf... as at her work, its a danger, and inconvenience of epic scope.. 2. he knew the guy had some fear of me, being around 3x his mass, and unwilling to put up with his behavior... and 3. knew she liked me, and he and his wife liked me since he befriended me at work when we were both having a rough as shit time with a horrible manager... not our manager but one who thought she was everybodies boss.. and kept setting our projects back by days to weeks at a time... once... if not for one of the girls having a vision of this shit coming, had not made copies and kept the originals for everything in her locked cabinet.. would have cost the company a govt contract, she dumped 6 caraffs of coffee across the whole work area because we wouldnt drop our work and do he bidding.. despite all that it wasnt till she assaulted an enderly employee, got investigated, monitored and caught for 1. having people work extra hours producing product that was off the books and records deleted from the system, 2. selling the off the books production via her sons ebay store. 3. stealing and selling food/snacks/etc from the company for her sister in law to sell at the coffee shop they started with this idea it would be huge profits...despite them knowing fuck all about business, or making coffee even... LOL.. anyway after that, well she was removed in cuffs even tried to sue the company and a stack of us employees she knew had to be against her.. company lawyers rekt her in court so hard her lawyer dropped her in front of the judge... thank god for a/v security systems and the owners love of tech.. it was a pain to install those every time i was involved in the process but.. it also always paid off within the first year.... in this case.... the kid had sold over 180k worth of stolen goods from the company, and, this blew my mind more, since i knew the value of the parts... the investigators came back with 12-15k she had stolen in food and supplies used for the coffee shop....oh and the owner listening to us and installing a cam on the back loading dock, caught the SIL who tried to say she didnt know where the stuff came from, picking up the large cart full of stuff at the back door and even them talking about the free profits and how it was great she was in charge of the vending machines and boxes of snacks around the whole building... i was just... fishmouthing watching it when the security intern showed us the clip, she was like "that was my reaction the first 5 times..." oh, the burka dude went to prison, when he gets out hes being deported back to Pakistan where the fact it came out hes gay... is not going to lead to a long happy life... the daughters actually married to a jewish fellow who was part of my extended friend group... honestly.. only his mother had issues with it... her parents found it amusing... his dad same... mom... wouldnt accept anybody but a jewish girl she picked for him.. that worked out so well for his 2 brothers.. who were cheated on and found out.. they had zero kids but where stuck paying to support kids their wife had with other men..... in one case the dude heard via fb grapevine and somebody asked if that was the milf he had been hitting at the gym... he contacted the husband and... turned out she had been taking her ring off and claiming her husband had died recently.. and, the daughter has a birth mark that runs in his family.. very obvious... its his kid... the dude managed to get shared custody with their legal dad.... and the 2 got her rights terminated.. but shes gotta pay support...the fact they had proof she said she never wanted kids, but she wanted custody for the support and so he wouldnt ever see them again.. the look on her face when her sister showed video of her saying that shit... in 4k60fps... yeah... court went poorly for her... the other one... her own family helped ensure she didnt get custody as well.. when mom found out she was cheating the golden childs mother went full "fuck cheaters" mode and.... not only proved it but read some shit that made her petition the court to give the kids and ex a protection order, and showed them to the judge... she had stored a backup of her daughters whole fb acct and used a tool to open it so the judge could just read her messages to several people who later came in and confirmed with the court it was all real, but that they didnt take her seriously... just thought it was the rantings of a jilted woman... anyway... MIL got over it eventually... and realized he had found himself a very good wife, whos can actually cook... she at least knows her cooking, outside baking and candies... is fucking horrific.... the harder she tries the worse the results.... Shion without the demonlord upgrade perk.. ;)
I like these stories where humans are basically romulans to everyone else xD just by being practical and smart, and following Sun Tzu's teachings, "All War is Deception"
Our blood is red because it uses iron to hold oxygen as it is transported throughout the body. Iron is a very common element, and it oxidizes quite easily, which is why the vast majority of animals use it in their blood. The only alternative blood that I know of is horseshoe crabs, which have blue, copper-based blood.
I find it hilarious when folks are forced to lay in the bed they sought to making, it comes in a variety of ways but in this story the GA decided to sit back and let the rogues have their way, hoping they could benefit withought having to get their hands dirty. But when it backfired they practically cried “woe is I”
well, it said at one point that believed that humanity would lose, and when humans managed to kick out the rogues expected a dim counterattack, didn't expect the humanity would turn full Mongolian Empire after 10 years and conquer the whole galaxy
This one was really well done. Started with a basic assumption of difference and didnt pretend that humanity could simply mary sue their way through a war. Long, difficult struggle with a clear reason for eventual victory. Well done.
"A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a very dangerous man who has that under voluntary control." ~Jordan Peterson Humans are peaceful. Until you give us reason not to be.
I love how it's always the same story... Humans meet aliens: "Hello neighbor! Let's be friends!" Aliens attack humans: "DEATH TO ALL XENOS!!! FOR THE EMPEROR!!! AAAAAAAAARGH!"
Funny as it follows the golden rule. "Aliens attack humans: "DEATH TO ALL XENOS!!! FOR THE EMPEROR!!! AAAAAAAAARGH!"" Aliens start off screaming that nonsense then get surprised as humanity screams it back.
Ah yes, the peaceful, tame and friendly actions of invasion, unannounced attack and genocide… yup those aliens sure seems like a peaceful bunch… So yeah, minor inconsistency in the story but good narration of it.
This is literally the story of all of human civilisations. "We wanted peace but your existence offended us so now we must fight." This happend for melinia
@@LS9646 Horeshoe crabs have blue blood due to it being copper based instead of iron based. This factoid have nothing to do with your responds but then neither does your responds to my comment or the story so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
there isn't any inconsistency, you just misinterpreted it, the author did well to establish that GA species weren't fully peaceful, just hesitant and inexperienced in war and why they would have a kneejerk reaction to red blood, the story is very consistent and well thought through on that part
@@DenethorDurrandir so you don’t consider it a contradiction to label something peaceful and tame if it’s kneejerk reaction is invasion and genocide? I think we might be using different definitions of those words then because to my understanding, a peaceful and tame species wouldn’t react that way, that is indeed an inconsistency.
@@derpionderpson1424 as I already stated, you have misinterpreted that, peaceful and tame means "preffering peace" and "not as aggressive" in comparison to humans, if you paid attention you would see that the GA members had engaged in war before, they weren't incapable of war and obviously they weren't hesitant to go to war, else they wouldn't before, technologically advanced red blooded species was an existential threat to them, which is definitely much better reason to go to war then presumably any of the previous wars if only you take a minute to think about it, rather then looking at the surface, it starts making sense
Draco Malfoy underling 1: "Potter's gone barmy..." Draco Malfoy underling 2: "Let's go poke at him!" Draco Malfoy himself: "Capital idea - be sure to mock him for being an orphan!"
So many of the r/hfy writers keep writing war as the main bulk to represent humanity in the galactic arena… which sucks. As a dangerous species, we’re… resilient… strange… complicated… not just warmongers!!! 8 billion humans, why’s it always war?! I like the death-world stuff, about not knowing we do insane things until seen from an external perspective. But we’re so much more than just war. Your narration is amazing btw!
"Humanity could stomach far more sacrifices. Especially when cornered." Humanity's history is replete with stories of "last stands". They are often glorified. Warriors fighting a "last stand" intend to take as many of the enemy with them as possible. They are the most dangerous of combatants.
The Spaceship was cloaked just outside the so called planet "Earth", home of the intelligent apes. The Captain Cu'rrell looked at the monitor with a tired look on its face. "Sir, a new wave of nanites have been deployed" "Tell me this is the last wave we need to complete the plan" The Cu'rrell twitched his fluffy tail and began to move nervously. "That... We thought that the amount was correct this time but..." "But?"Asked the Captain, with his whiskers pointing downwards, just like his feelings "It seems that the Earth Apes keep mass producing them, even with the Pandemic we unleashed upon them" "DAMN IT TO THE VOID" Shouted angrily the Captain. He put his tiny hand inside his jacket and took out a big, juicy and well polished seed. He glared at it for a moment and began to nibble on it anxiously while cursing. "Sir... your Calories levels are..." "I nyow that my caliries levels ar high right nyow!!!" He shouted with a high pitched voice. "But we have been filliwing our giverment plan for almost a cintury!" A couple of Cu'rrels in the room coughed a little, trying to hide the snickers, when they heard their captain's accent flare up. "Just stay calm sir. Remember that, even if its a slow plan, it should bear fruits soon. All to avoid war with the Earth Apes and their dog minions." Began to say the second on command of the ship. "We are all here to save our bretheren. We cant leave them in a place like this. We are all volunteers to save them since they crashed on Earth" Said suddenly a Cu'rrel looking at a computer. "And who asked you?" Said the Cu'rrel on his right "Yeah! Who asked you?" Said the Cu'rrel to his left "Your mom and sister! Last night, at my room!" "NYOW YEW HAVE DONIT!" The two Cu'rrels shouted, launching at the vulgar Cu'rrel "I know, but it's nerve wrecking, just here...waiting. When their show South Park said our plan almost to perfection two decades ago... I thought we were compromised" Said the captain, ignoring the fight "Well, we are nothing like those Gnomes, and we are not stealing underpants" Said the second on command. "Well, yes, but I feel like the high command doesn't know what to do after step 2 and they jump straight into step 4 were we save them". "Do you want me to contact the Central to ask the plan again?" Said suddenly an artificial voice "Please do" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Secret Underground facility of the NASA: "Sir! Sir! They began to do it again!" Shouted happily John "Nice! We just bought snacks! Let me get them. Meanwhile, turn on the subtitles" Said Chief Mark A group of scientists sat down on a big couch and began to watch a live feed on a screen. There, they saw the Aliens that were "spying" on them on a Ship inside a giant artificial tree. After they found them, it was REALLY easy to infiltrate their systems and have a live feed of whatever they were doing. The aliens, they named "Angry squirrels" or "Agro Squerrils" since they were literally squirrels that fought all the time between themselves began to fight again, after some unsavory verbal attacks, all while the scientists were laughing their rears off. "Just one more thing" Said Mark between laughs "Has anyone found the reason why they keep stealing only one of our socks?" "No idea, hell it seems like even they don´t know why they are doing it. But I will be damned if we let the public know that their socks are being stolen by Nanites from angry space squirrels" Answered John "Yea, not only they woudnt believe us, but we would also lose our source of entertainment" Said Mark with a smile "Amen to that sir, Amen to that"
GA: "Look, we know they tried to eradicate your very existence but they feel so bad about now that they've surrendered. Please let them recover." Humanity: You want what he's having!? GA: And you wonder why they wanted to exterminate you Red Bloods. Humanity: .........One of what he's having coming up!
So far I have only heard the beginning but this is one of the rare ones that doesnt immediately make me think that humans are relatively basically gods
Humanity wear garments of peace to cover the scars of war, dont give us a reason to change into the old battle armour we would rather leave in the museum...
We were meh because blood doesn't look red under our skin. The blood came out red then we were evil to be purged. Then when the genocide failed of course it was the red made us warlike. Then when we won the universe still must be warned about the red in our blood. Imagine if the aliens were colorblind then all this could have been avoided.
TL;DW Grizzly bear shows up and you're afraid it will attack you. So you pick up a stone and throw it at the bear cause you're afraid it will attack you. It then attacks you cause you threw a stone at it.
Makes total sense. There is a type of snake here in Australia it's one of the most venomous on the planet but its only killed one person since records were kept. Why? It lives it lives in the outback and is very shy and we leave it the F*&K alone!
Aliens: "Hey these humans that have been treating us fairly and playing by our rules? Let's kill them before they're a threat." Humans: "...Say sike right now."
'They didn't wish to engage with even the remote possibility of Mutually Assured Destruction; it was madness to them." Yes, that's exactly what it stands for.
They didn't want to engage in Mutually Assured Destruction, but thought it was a good idea to attack and piss of the race that willingly will resort to Mutually Assures Destruction without batting an eye just to spite them XD.
Yeah kinda tired of the trope of "This species government did something horrible to us, so we murdered the entire species" really annoys me. I mean genocide does happen however we have been know to also show mercy to the subjects of our worst enemies. I personally would like one story where it looks like we're about to drop terrible genocidal bombs of mass destruction and then "We never would" just popping out instead to truly show the power we have and the restraint as well.
@@smiley4995 Isn't there an hfy about the Rules of War? What they thought were massive bombs were actually carrying cases for copies of the Geneva Conventions.
@@chrisdufresne9359 I know that one. LOVE it! It was about how when the xeno filth LOVED shooting our medevac craft and other war crimes, we said, "ya know what? FUCK IT!" Went ALL out on them (more than they did to us, because to hell with the xeno scum), then when they were at the brink, we basically stopped, threw a book at them (concealed in said fake bomb) and said, "Read this, and find out why we were so soft in the beginning, and then suddenly not".
I thought this would be interesting, but I was disappointed. All hfy stories are now “humans are better at war”, how we’re so much more aggressive and powerful. I really miss when it used to be wholesome stories about how bad we are at naming things, the baffling concepts of hot sauce, and how we have really weird animals like a fish with a sword on its face.
Yeah, now-a-days these stories sound more like a "human supremacy" power fantasy. Don't get me wrong, believing in our own species is a good thing, but the problem comes when your belief and pride blinds you. In this story, the counter invasion against the GC nations responsible for the initial invasion was to be expected. A point had to be made there. And I can be okay with the Human Federation giving the cold shoulder to the GC, since they didn't try so hard as they could have to help Humanity. But steam-rolling through planets, killing almost all the aliens, taking all the resources, and doing little to preserve the cultures of the aliens worlds is going a couple steps too far. Politically and morally, you don't nearly wipe out entire planets worth of species. You don't prove you aren't monsters by turning around and being one. Repay the pain done to you by the people who did it, *at most*, you do more than that and you become the bad guy, not them. The humans in the start of this story were fine, but the humans at the end sound too eager to have the galaxy under its boot.
Also. The purpose of "Humans are space orcs" are to fulfill the Sci-Fi Fantasy of humans being the dominant species of the galaxy, instead of the aliens. You may say there already a lot of them. Well you are wrong. There are much - much more Aliens dominating the Galaxy. Hell, even Warhammer 40K's Humans aren't the dominate species, by technicality, it was either Orkz(ORCS, Humans are Space ORCS) or Tyranids. You think thr T'aus rule over the galaxy? Get fucked homeboy.
Golden rule of life: If you're scared of something lashing out at you, don't give it a reason to do so.
That's a new golden rule to me.
Father said: Do to others as they would do to you.
Mother said: Always wear a condom.
That, That's Just Crazy Enough To Work!
Self Fulfilling Prophecy
Treats somebody like a jerk.
That person starts acting like a jerk around you.
"OMG! I was right! They are a jerk!"
@@el3g3le grandad/grandma "never stick your dick in crazy"/"never stick your dick in stupid"
or "never let stupid/crazy stick its dick in you" ;)
@@JimmyJoeBob you just described a boss i had... who couldnt figure out why all her employees were jerks. LOL..
i mean every employee she worked with would just start treating her 1:1 how she treated everybody she viewed as below her... we all knew something she we learned later she did not... we were more valuable to the company then she was... her MBA ment fuck all, her uncle gave her a job... she didnt earn it properly... and was not suited to it...
imagine a party girl karen whos ego is out of control, and not in any way justified by any skills she actually has... double it... you are almost there, just do that a few more times... :P
what was funny,she fucking hated me.. when she one day bought up at meeting with clients, how she wanted to take over a project myself and tabby were running, because i was hard to work with, rude, didnt listen, on and on... just a tirade rant against me and tabby... she couldnt figure out why i had this fucking joker grin on my face... the client is somebody whos known me a very long time and knows im quite easy to work with and the only way you endup with issues is trying to micro manage me.. dont show methe respect i show others..etc.. or disrespect people i respect.. or shit who simply dont deserve it..
well, he asked her some questions, then informed her, that, he got why we warned him about her personality, and not to blow up at her, she know not what she speaks of... he had not known tabby long but.. he let her know he knew me most of my life, and as a kid, didnt like me much, till he realized it was because i was like he was as a kid.. always asking questions and curious to a fault.. he came to the company because i told him, i thought we could do the job, it wasnt our forte per-say but it was in the wheel house, just needed to get tooling done for the job they wanted done... that in the end shifted to much more robust metal castings rather then plastic injection molds, as the metal versions afte testing could be sold with professional weight/stress ratings...
anyway.... he was blunt...but even better, after he went to get himself a drink, his daughter just started talking and the room went silent.. she pointed out she grew up with me, and to get me to act how she described... she must have really fucked up... because... "hes the nicest asshole your likely to meet in a livetime" (shes said that about time since highschool...initially to roast me a bit...when i smiled and gave her a genuine "aww thanks, you really do know and love me"... well everybody there laughed... even i agreed it was true... i dont suffer fools and idiots well honestly. less so as a broken down old man...
In simple terms:
'We wanted peace, and prepared for war; you wanted war, and prepared for peace. That is why you failed.'
Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum
It is better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war.
@@matthewklestinski7030 unless you are Samwise Gamgee.
@@VadulTharys We build civilizations on the sturdy backs of people like Samwise Gamgee. He passed the ultimate test of loyalty when he doubled back to aid Frodo, after discovering the secretly-discarded Lembas during his descent. He had character of the magnitude evoked when we speak the phrase, "May I someday be as good a Man, as my Dog thinks I am."
Make peace but bring the tools of war.
Xenos: "Red blood?! They will kill us all!"
Humans: "What? No, dude, we just have-"
Xenos: "INVASION!" [Slaughters entire populations]
Humans: "...Oh, you just f@#$ed up."
indeed
Humans: Send in the Nanites swarm!
People just love fulfilling their own prophecies, Oh the paranoia.
Proceeds to load shotgun slug.
no prisoners comrade
GA: "When they put one of yours into the hospital, you put one of theirs in the hospital."
Humans: "You mean, you put one of theirs into the morgue, right?"
GA: "What?!"
Humans: "What?"
Nice
"the Untouchables" was a good movie that will probably fade into obscurity, even though it was about Capone and had a really good cast.
Well the morgue is still a part of the hospital so we still put them to the hospital. Just on a cold room in one of the minus floors lol
More Like put one of ours in the hospital glass their homeplanet
“They put one of yours in the hospital, put three of theirs in the morgue” - mr Roggers
Aliens: Terrified of the peaceful monsters.
Also aliens: Provoke the peaceful monsters.
...Also aliens: *Shocked Pikachu, the previously peaceful monsters are now just monsters!*
Tale as old as time.
Believe the prophecy of your destruction. > Manifest your destruction through your actions based on that belief.
The more you label something/one as a monster, the more you push them to become it.
Humanity as a whole adopted the "Speak softly, but carry a big stick" mentality and I love it.
The aliens are not too bright here. 😂
They deserved that.
I wonder if they realize the irony that humanity was treating them like a red blooded species and preparing for attack, and the aliens proved them right in their assumptions. Therefore the aliens acted like a red blooded species with that attack, just a very dumb red blooded species.
Self fulfilling prophecy
@@jameson1239 gotta love em
"It is an undeniable, and may I say a fundamental quality of man, that when faced with our own extinction, every alternative is preferable" -Leonard Church
Another RVB fan I see.
The native americans demonstrated this aspect at the battel of little horn every indian nation. Banded together for one last push ....even though they faild but to them it was a better alternative than conquest
Unless it's due to irreversible climate change...
Then everything is fine.
DOCTOR Leonard Church put some respect on the name
@@adamofblastworks1517 fine we will start to try to appease the weather with blood sacrifices . . . Starting with you.
Funny thing about this is that in a strange way, the red blood thing actually makes some sense.
On a world so death ridden as ours, creatures have to evolve to be the best they can be to survive- thus, iron based blood, or red blood, the most efficient type of blood. Red blood does not cause a violent world, it's a common result of it.
Exactly. Anything less than optimal efficiency will be weeded out on a world that's harsh enough, on a tame world efficiency will not rise much above the minimum requirement.
The garden of eden is also a harsh world if it’s lush enough. When the living conditions are optimal it can create a large variety of species like what happened on earth which will drive the need for the evolutions to be more Efficient or productive will the defects will die out. You see what makes a forest a forest is not the trees but rather the variety of life that lives there because when there are hundreds of different species living in an area it virtually creates herd immunity and protects all the species though that while a single species forest will die off from a series of epidemics.
This is also why I dislike the nazi’s idea of there being a superior race, the genetic diversity makes us and our planet stronger so why reduce it.
@@RoxyTheReaper Honestly that is kind of the point of another story I listened, that basically had Earth be the galactic equivalent to the Garden of Eden, but still had us as a Death World predator with how effective we were in combat, simply because there were to many apex predators fighting for control, for to long to have not become equal to those that evolved on a Death World instead of those that evolved on a Paradise World.
Found the video the story was in th-cam.com/video/yEOMQugPTH0/w-d-xo.html&lc=UgyLw8WVNKmOpSZc4zZ4AaABAg.9OcfSHwIJMc9QI1tx5B1D-
Was going to write it myself. While there are still some surviving ancient species that have non-iron based blood, 99.9999999999999999% of life is iron based.
@@bearstarpresents2264 most life on our planet doesn't have blood of any kind (plants, fungi, and bacteria) but copper based hemoglobin is still jest as effective as iron based. In fact some of the most valuable blood you can get your hands on is Copper based blue blood for it superior coagulation ability. Don't jest believe red blood is better because an ather uses that to tell a story.
this sounds like an Stellaris playtrough....
very accurate.
=) Fully agree, was thinking of several playthroughs myself towards the end
Peace through superior force of faith, mind and arms. Hail the Khajiiti sacred empire!
Har'gorak Warbot Automata
automates what remains
and destroys what oppose
@@furycarnategaming the only reason your empire got this far was because you created super soldiers by inhaling skooma
@@iconofthicc6086 Being god-like psionics help greatly as well, conquering entire planets with only a few units.
GA/Aliens: *(Blames Humanity over extreme superstitions and use that excuse to try and invade and genocide them)*
Humanity: *(Shocked and confused with Boiling Vengeance as they counter attack with Absolute Fury)*
GA/Aliens: *(Surprised Pikachu Face)*
serves them right for attacking unprovoked and/or not doing anything to stop them
But the Humans were oppressing us with their red blood privlidge! ~ The Left (which is to say the xenos who were left after Humanity was done with them).
@@SiegeTF your joke falls flat because the humans didn't have "red blood privilege". The Humans were discriminated against with exaggerated myths and superstitions much like how we have done to each other throughout history.
@@quinnholton773 and now universities have brought back racially segregated spaces so students of colour can study without being oppressed by white students and their privlidge.
Because everybody knows how oppressed university students are.
@@SiegeTF funny how you didn't actually acknowledge how you were wrong. You're nothing more than a fool with a flowchart of bad talking points. Go cry about your white fragility else where.
@@quinnholton773 no u
The hubris of the GA aliens makes me think of the following quote “the man whom seeks excuses for his actions, is doomed to fail himself”
I don't know, the US always seeks excuses for its own actions and seems to be doing alright.
Lesson here. One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.
word
I didn't know, that you watch this, Wrath.
Wow didn't expect to find you here
@@wolfwest2037 I am everywhere.
@@wrath2501 reaction channel 💀
This is the type of story I name in my head as "Humanity Frick You." for when the aliens are truly the problem and we didn't start anything.
That'd be an interesting subgenre.
Oh boy, you’d love r/HFY
@@TheDragonCat99 yeah I think that’s what he’s paradoying
Fun fact, on earth we have some animals with literal blue blood, and that is super cool
@@Tessicaria tell me more! Wich metal.would each be? So i can use it for an alien story
@@gingercore69 i'know that blue is copper but the others i have no idea
@@thefuronvlogs4800 blue, I believe can be copper or vanadium, but you can tell the difference when it dries.
@@gingercore69If im not wrong, i think horse shoe crabs have blue blood, they are commonly hunted and drained of their blood cuz some people believe it has healing properties (ironic huh?)
I can't help but think writer had one heck of Stellaris session before writing the story
very possible
Good old self-fulfilling prophecies. At least humans tried to be kind about it.
Whoever the Swiss equivalent of the aliens is probably had a funn time watching the war without having to fear what a human victory might bring the other aliens
``Agressive neutrality`` the Swiss had so little for people to gain from defeating them and mountains easy to defend but hard to get. Anyone and i do mean ANYONE who tried encurred losses to the point when they realized it was just not worth it and gave up...
@@kjelljohanbraten7408 It was even more aggressive than that at one point.
During the second world war, numerous attempts were made by allied forces to fly over or land in Swiss territory.
Now, i'm Dutch, and we were "neutral", in that we laid on our back to anyone who came looking, which caused capitulation in literal days when Germany came knocking.
Switzerland however, was NEUTRAL. Enter their land with any military intent, no matter which way it was directed at nor came from, it got NEUTRALIZED.
So allied forces flew over Switzerland to get into occupied/hostile territory more than once.
And they suddenly found out that neutral means that everyone is treated equal; You get shot out of the sky, regardless of country of origin.
I recall Americans landing in Switzerland thinking they were a neutral ally, only to be surprised with a hard bed in a jail cell.
Neutrality isn't sitting and waiting for someone to come over, hoping that no one will.
Neutrality is making sure that no one WANTS to come over, and when they do, you're capable of _carefully and succinctly_ explaining to them why you can't participate. :)
Neutrality is lonely, hard, and will require you to make choices you might not want to make.
To this day, some people think that Switzerland just sat there, waiting it out.
But they were the epitome of red-blooded humanity; Shake hands with one hand, while sharpening the blade with the other.
They are a testament to true independence from influence.
*'Aggressive Neutrality'; Beware the chained Wolf, and approach at your own risk.*
@@Volvith well, they were, i got friends from there who moved here due to how far left and woke the country was getting decades ago, they say its just painful to visit home now.. they got whole areas with warning signs to keep natives out because its dangerous in some predominantly muslim areas for outsiders, grooming gang issues the govt refuses to address including native local minor girls being used as sex toys by groups of men... really weird for a country thats also quite feminist but... the level of cog-dis i have seen from hard leftists in the last couple decades has made me reset my estimation of just how stupid humans can be, yet somehow still function enough to not die from forgetting to breath/eat/drink...
note: im not anti-muslim, i got more then a few friends who are but, their families came here when shit started to go side ways across the middle east(thanks cia!!!), and they flat out say that you have to watch it around middle eastern muslims, some are chill as fuck, others will try and murder you for saying something nobody else in the room found offensive... like simply saying your not of their religion, shit i dated a muslim girl at her fathers insistance, him knowing full well im an anti-theist.. (fuck organized religions/cults/etc.. including wokeness) , we are still friends, and, i found out later part of why he wanted us to date was so she wouldnt be around the cousin the family sent over who was.. not integrating well.. and never planned to.. once they had proof he was involved with the kind of people who blow up shit at parks during events... they turned him in, and helped the govt track down his group of friends... he knew 1. i would protect her from him, and he had issues with her not wearing a burka, not a hajab but full on burka like his mom and sisters did back home.. on and on... just... hell she rarely wore a head scarf... as at her work, its a danger, and inconvenience of epic scope.. 2. he knew the guy had some fear of me, being around 3x his mass, and unwilling to put up with his behavior... and 3. knew she liked me, and he and his wife liked me since he befriended me at work when we were both having a rough as shit time with a horrible manager... not our manager but one who thought she was everybodies boss.. and kept setting our projects back by days to weeks at a time... once... if not for one of the girls having a vision of this shit coming, had not made copies and kept the originals for everything in her locked cabinet.. would have cost the company a govt contract, she dumped 6 caraffs of coffee across the whole work area because we wouldnt drop our work and do he bidding..
despite all that it wasnt till she assaulted an enderly employee, got investigated, monitored and caught for 1. having people work extra hours producing product that was off the books and records deleted from the system, 2. selling the off the books production via her sons ebay store. 3. stealing and selling food/snacks/etc from the company for her sister in law to sell at the coffee shop they started with this idea it would be huge profits...despite them knowing fuck all about business, or making coffee even... LOL..
anyway after that, well she was removed in cuffs even tried to sue the company and a stack of us employees she knew had to be against her.. company lawyers rekt her in court so hard her lawyer dropped her in front of the judge...
thank god for a/v security systems and the owners love of tech.. it was a pain to install those every time i was involved in the process but.. it also always paid off within the first year.... in this case.... the kid had sold over 180k worth of stolen goods from the company, and, this blew my mind more, since i knew the value of the parts... the investigators came back with 12-15k she had stolen in food and supplies used for the coffee shop....oh and the owner listening to us and installing a cam on the back loading dock, caught the SIL who tried to say she didnt know where the stuff came from, picking up the large cart full of stuff at the back door and even them talking about the free profits and how it was great she was in charge of the vending machines and boxes of snacks around the whole building... i was just... fishmouthing watching it when the security intern showed us the clip, she was like "that was my reaction the first 5 times..."
oh, the burka dude went to prison, when he gets out hes being deported back to Pakistan where the fact it came out hes gay... is not going to lead to a long happy life...
the daughters actually married to a jewish fellow who was part of my extended friend group... honestly.. only his mother had issues with it... her parents found it amusing... his dad same... mom... wouldnt accept anybody but a jewish girl she picked for him.. that worked out so well for his 2 brothers.. who were cheated on and found out.. they had zero kids but where stuck paying to support kids their wife had with other men..... in one case the dude heard via fb grapevine and somebody asked if that was the milf he had been hitting at the gym... he contacted the husband and... turned out she had been taking her ring off and claiming her husband had died recently.. and, the daughter has a birth mark that runs in his family.. very obvious... its his kid... the dude managed to get shared custody with their legal dad.... and the 2 got her rights terminated.. but shes gotta pay support...the fact they had proof she said she never wanted kids, but she wanted custody for the support and so he wouldnt ever see them again.. the look on her face when her sister showed video of her saying that shit... in 4k60fps... yeah... court went poorly for her... the other one... her own family helped ensure she didnt get custody as well.. when mom found out she was cheating the golden childs mother went full "fuck cheaters" mode and.... not only proved it but read some shit that made her petition the court to give the kids and ex a protection order, and showed them to the judge... she had stored a backup of her daughters whole fb acct and used a tool to open it so the judge could just read her messages to several people who later came in and confirmed with the court it was all real, but that they didnt take her seriously... just thought it was the rantings of a jilted woman...
anyway... MIL got over it eventually... and realized he had found himself a very good wife, whos can actually cook... she at least knows her cooking, outside baking and candies... is fucking horrific.... the harder she tries the worse the results.... Shion without the demonlord upgrade perk.. ;)
@@kjelljohanbraten7408I'd imagine a world near the galactic core, surrounding radiation making invasion nearly impossible
@@Flesh_Wizard Nope, it makes LIFE impossible..
The xenos don't even sound at all remorseful at the end about poking the bear just pissy over the fact that they created their own monster.
They didn’t create that monster they just thought it was smart to provoke it.
@@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus like smacking a beehive stand by it no issue but slap it and you will get stung
I like these stories where humans are basically romulans to everyone else xD just by being practical and smart, and following Sun Tzu's teachings, "All War is Deception"
"All warfare is based" - Sun Tzu
@@g80gzt If your warfare is cringe, you will lose a thousand battles.
Just your average self-fulfilling prophecy.
A wise man once said "Don't start nothin, Won't be nothin"
true
Wise... until you're dealing with human nature...
Nanites stealing socks. Great now I got to start a war with tiny robots.
@@loganshaw4527tiny necrons: hello!
Fun stories to listen to when grinding through the workweek
Our blood is red because it uses iron to hold oxygen as it is transported throughout the body. Iron is a very common element, and it oxidizes quite easily, which is why the vast majority of animals use it in their blood. The only alternative blood that I know of is horseshoe crabs, which have blue, copper-based blood.
There is red, blue, purple, green, and colorless blood.
Im pretty sure the other types of blood are called heme
Fairly certain copper oxidizes about as readily as iron does.
@@The-Singularity-X01 copper reacts more readily then iron does and can actually speed up the oxidation of iron
I’m guessing most other planets lack Iron and have lot more copper instead
I find it hilarious when folks are forced to lay in the bed they sought to making, it comes in a variety of ways but in this story the GA decided to sit back and let the rogues have their way, hoping they could benefit withought having to get their hands dirty.
But when it backfired they practically cried “woe is I”
well, it said at one point that believed that humanity would lose, and when humans managed to kick out the rogues expected a dim counterattack, didn't expect the humanity would turn full Mongolian Empire after 10 years and conquer the whole galaxy
Wow they feared rust in our blood
God forbid they look at Mars and think the entire planet is alive and just waiting for an excuse to wake up, lol
@@tachyon8317 DoomSlayer: wanna see me blow this shit up?
This one was really well done. Started with a basic assumption of difference and didnt pretend that humanity could simply mary sue their way through a war. Long, difficult struggle with a clear reason for eventual victory. Well done.
Hell yeah, don't mess with humans unless your ready to sacrifice everything.
"A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a very dangerous man who has that under voluntary control." ~Jordan Peterson
Humans are peaceful. Until you give us reason not to be.
THEY SERIOUSLY deserved the gun ships in orbit.
They deserved exterminatus.
Suffer not the xeno to live.
Lol at least it was not ships in the shape of sword in orbit.
I love how it's always the same story...
Humans meet aliens: "Hello neighbor! Let's be friends!"
Aliens attack humans: "DEATH TO ALL XENOS!!! FOR THE EMPEROR!!! AAAAAAAAARGH!"
To be fair this is probably what will happen
Yeah, it's not very original.
No pity! No remorse! No fear!
@@antonioscendrategattico2302 still slaps and has you coming back though, nothing wrong with tropes or cheat day cliches❤
Funny as it follows the golden rule. "Aliens attack humans: "DEATH TO ALL XENOS!!! FOR THE EMPEROR!!! AAAAAAAAARGH!""
Aliens start off screaming that nonsense then get surprised as humanity screams it back.
I will quote Ivan Drago for the algorithm: "He's like a piece of iron."
For iron flows through our veins
Ah yes, the peaceful, tame and friendly actions of invasion, unannounced attack and genocide… yup those aliens sure seems like a peaceful bunch…
So yeah, minor inconsistency in the story but good narration of it.
This is literally the story of all of human civilisations. "We wanted peace but your existence offended us so now we must fight."
This happend for melinia
@@LS9646
Horeshoe crabs have blue blood due to it being copper based instead of iron based.
This factoid have nothing to do with your responds but then neither does your responds to my comment or the story so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
there isn't any inconsistency, you just misinterpreted it, the author did well to establish that GA species weren't fully peaceful, just hesitant and inexperienced in war and why they would have a kneejerk reaction to red blood, the story is very consistent and well thought through on that part
@@DenethorDurrandir so you don’t consider it a contradiction to label something peaceful and tame if it’s kneejerk reaction is invasion and genocide?
I think we might be using different definitions of those words then because to my understanding, a peaceful and tame species wouldn’t react that way, that is indeed an inconsistency.
@@derpionderpson1424 as I already stated, you have misinterpreted that, peaceful and tame means "preffering peace" and "not as aggressive" in comparison to humans, if you paid attention you would see that the GA members had engaged in war before, they weren't incapable of war and obviously they weren't hesitant to go to war, else they wouldn't before, technologically advanced red blooded species was an existential threat to them, which is definitely much better reason to go to war then presumably any of the previous wars
if only you take a minute to think about it, rather then looking at the surface, it starts making sense
Red means danger, it means DO NOT TOUCH!
ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS LET US PLAY SPACE MAN
ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS NOT GENOCIDE ENTIRE SYSTEMS
WE WERE CHILL
The answer always is not to hit the wasps nest F.T.A
when did they sneak off with a sock i didnt notice them nearby!
"I can see use discovering a society that doesn't know war, and I can see us attacking them because they would be unprepared." - someone
GA General Custer: Today we will win a great war with those Red Bloods here at the Bighorn Cluster!
Draco Malfoy underling 1: "Potter's gone barmy..."
Draco Malfoy underling 2: "Let's go poke at him!"
Draco Malfoy himself: "Capital idea - be sure to mock him for being an orphan!"
So many of the r/hfy writers keep writing war as the main bulk to represent humanity in the galactic arena… which sucks. As a dangerous species, we’re… resilient… strange… complicated… not just warmongers!!! 8 billion humans, why’s it always war?! I like the death-world stuff, about not knowing we do insane things until seen from an external perspective. But we’re so much more than just war.
Your narration is amazing btw!
The cowards were afraid Humanity would destroy them so they gave them every reason to do so.... BRILLIANT!
My compliments to the author
Nanites are monsters! After they steal one sock, they eat holes in the orphans so I can't pair them up!
Humans - we're terrifyingly good at war.
Summary in emoticons:
Humans: : )
Aliens: : )
Humans: *nicks finger* : ' )
Aliens: >: (
Humans: : )
Aliens: >:( *shoots civilian*
Humans: >:( *commits wartime atrocities*
Aliens: >:( shoots civilians
Humans: :)
>:)
last of humans: re-enact the Ghenghis Khan protocol
@@elduquecaradura1468they should have gone with the vlad protocols. Say hello to corpse trees
Humanity:"let us kill each other in peace FFS"
Sounds like the Xenos weren't ready to upgrade from easy mode.
yeah poking the bear what a wonderful idea. As usual wonderful rendition angry squirrel man.
"Even contingencies need contingencies"
Do you dream of aliens? They dream of you.....you're their sleep paralysis demon
indeed
Endless space/stellaris intensifies.
humanity summed up in one quote: "one is weak, many is mighty."
"Humanity could stomach far more sacrifices. Especially when cornered."
Humanity's history is replete with stories of "last stands".
They are often glorified.
Warriors fighting a "last stand" intend to take as many of the enemy with them as possible. They are the most dangerous of combatants.
In the wise words of a random radio song...Don't start no shit won't be no shit!
Humans: Oooooh! Now you fucked up! You have fucked up now!”
Should’ve just cracked open a few of their planets to show em what for
Aliens: *attacks humanity*
Humanity: You just activated my trap card
lol
* *civilians*
Xenos: Human blood red! Kill humans!
Humans: Exterminatus.
Xenos: 0_0
Aliens effed around and found out
The alien invasion is like the crusades.It only went well the first time,but they should’ve stopped after the second failed
Bob the Dragon, and others thank you.. love what this channel does and wish I could do more.
The Spaceship was cloaked just outside the so called planet "Earth", home of the intelligent apes. The Captain Cu'rrell looked at the monitor with a tired look on its face.
"Sir, a new wave of nanites have been deployed"
"Tell me this is the last wave we need to complete the plan"
The Cu'rrell twitched his fluffy tail and began to move nervously.
"That... We thought that the amount was correct this time but..."
"But?"Asked the Captain, with his whiskers pointing downwards, just like his feelings
"It seems that the Earth Apes keep mass producing them, even with the Pandemic we unleashed upon them"
"DAMN IT TO THE VOID" Shouted angrily the Captain. He put his tiny hand inside his jacket and took out a big, juicy and well polished seed. He glared at it for a moment and began to nibble on it anxiously while cursing.
"Sir... your Calories levels are..."
"I nyow that my caliries levels ar high right nyow!!!" He shouted with a high pitched voice. "But we have been filliwing our giverment plan for almost a cintury!"
A couple of Cu'rrels in the room coughed a little, trying to hide the snickers, when they heard their captain's accent flare up.
"Just stay calm sir. Remember that, even if its a slow plan, it should bear fruits soon. All to avoid war with the Earth Apes and their dog minions." Began to say the second on command of the ship.
"We are all here to save our bretheren. We cant leave them in a place like this. We are all volunteers to save them since they crashed on Earth" Said suddenly a Cu'rrel looking at a computer.
"And who asked you?" Said the Cu'rrel on his right
"Yeah! Who asked you?" Said the Cu'rrel to his left
"Your mom and sister! Last night, at my room!"
"NYOW YEW HAVE DONIT!" The two Cu'rrels shouted, launching at the vulgar Cu'rrel
"I know, but it's nerve wrecking, just here...waiting. When their show South Park said our plan almost to perfection two decades ago... I thought we were compromised" Said the captain, ignoring the fight
"Well, we are nothing like those Gnomes, and we are not stealing underpants" Said the second on command.
"Well, yes, but I feel like the high command doesn't know what to do after step 2 and they jump straight into step 4 were we save them".
"Do you want me to contact the Central to ask the plan again?" Said suddenly an artificial voice
"Please do"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Secret Underground facility of the NASA:
"Sir! Sir! They began to do it again!" Shouted happily John
"Nice! We just bought snacks! Let me get them. Meanwhile, turn on the subtitles" Said Chief Mark
A group of scientists sat down on a big couch and began to watch a live feed on a screen. There, they saw the Aliens that were "spying" on them on a Ship inside a giant artificial tree. After they found them, it was REALLY easy to infiltrate their systems and have a live feed of whatever they were doing.
The aliens, they named "Angry squirrels" or "Agro Squerrils" since they were literally squirrels that fought all the time between themselves began to fight again, after some unsavory verbal attacks, all while the scientists were laughing their rears off.
"Just one more thing" Said Mark between laughs "Has anyone found the reason why they keep stealing only one of our socks?"
"No idea, hell it seems like even they don´t know why they are doing it. But I will be damned if we let the public know that their socks are being stolen by Nanites from angry space squirrels" Answered John
"Yea, not only they woudnt believe us, but we would also lose our source of entertainment" Said Mark with a smile
"Amen to that sir, Amen to that"
And you now have your own HFY story. Hopefully to get narrated. Good job, kudos, and a tip o' my hat to you!
Nice
GA: "Look, we know they tried to eradicate your very existence but they feel so bad about now that they've surrendered. Please let them recover."
Humanity: You want what he's having!?
GA: And you wonder why they wanted to exterminate you Red Bloods.
Humanity: .........One of what he's having coming up!
Voltaire: Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. 😢
I was doing my laundry so when you said “steal another sock” i pannicked and look desperate for all the socks
Ty for the scare
So far I have only heard the beginning but this is one of the rare ones that doesnt immediately make me think that humans are relatively basically gods
oh nvm
Humanity wear garments of peace to cover the scars of war, dont give us a reason to change into the old battle armour we would rather leave in the museum...
When 2A works on aliens.
It is not left to wonder that perhapse the paranoid species were on to something in the aftermath of their defeat.
I think this is literally the equivalent of the first and Second World War aftermath
How the allies essentially took charge
So they knew enough to decide we were biologically meh, with weak muscles and weak immune systems...but not idea about our blood? Wha?
We were meh because blood doesn't look red under our skin. The blood came out red then we were evil to be purged. Then when the genocide failed of course it was the red made us warlike. Then when we won the universe still must be warned about the red in our blood.
Imagine if the aliens were colorblind then all this could have been avoided.
They learned why humanity's motto, from time immemorial, has always been...
"Fuck around and find out"
TL;DW
Grizzly bear shows up and you're afraid it will attack you.
So you pick up a stone and throw it at the bear cause you're afraid it will attack you.
It then attacks you cause you threw a stone at it.
Makes total sense. There is a type of snake here in Australia it's one of the most venomous on the planet but its only killed one person since records were kept. Why? It lives it lives in the outback and is very shy and we leave it the F*&K alone!
Aliens: "Hey these humans that have been treating us fairly and playing by our rules? Let's kill them before they're a threat."
Humans: "...Say sike right now."
Humanity went full 40k on them
40k is more prophecy than most would like to admit
If this was 40k there would be no other races left
So, this is basically the xeno version of the Six Days War...
Noice!
😎
I like the idea that the stupid things we do as a spiecies will give us an evolutionary advantage in space😅
'They didn't wish to engage with even the remote possibility of Mutually Assured Destruction; it was madness to them."
Yes, that's exactly what it stands for.
They didn't want to engage in Mutually Assured Destruction, but thought it was a good idea to attack and piss of the race that willingly will resort to Mutually Assures Destruction without batting an eye just to spite them XD.
any mention of industry makes me happy. i could be one of those people.
Humanity wasn't a threat until they threatened them.
LOL, said the boarding party, LMAO
Humanity makes two promises in war: Firstly, you will lose. Secondly, you will get to keep your homeworld.
This, we promise.
You create your monsters.
"and massacred a population of tens of millions..."
.
Well, Geneva Checklist it is!
My socks will be kept in a feraday cage now.
Human immune system is weak vs me who ate dirty sheet metal
I love these stories kinda wish they were longer
It always concerns me a little how much genocide there sometimes is in HFY stories
the human race doesn't matter race or religon all groups have done genocide natives to other natives europeans to europeans asian to asians.
Yeah kinda tired of the trope of "This species government did something horrible to us, so we murdered the entire species" really annoys me. I mean genocide does happen however we have been know to also show mercy to the subjects of our worst enemies. I personally would like one story where it looks like we're about to drop terrible genocidal bombs of mass destruction and then "We never would" just popping out instead to truly show the power we have and the restraint as well.
@@smiley4995 Isn't there an hfy about the Rules of War? What they thought were massive bombs were actually carrying cases for copies of the Geneva Conventions.
@@chrisdufresne9359 I know that one. LOVE it! It was about how when the xeno filth LOVED shooting our medevac craft and other war crimes, we said, "ya know what? FUCK IT!" Went ALL out on them (more than they did to us, because to hell with the xeno scum), then when they were at the brink, we basically stopped, threw a book at them (concealed in said fake bomb) and said, "Read this, and find out why we were so soft in the beginning, and then suddenly not".
@@tachyon8317 what was the name of that story
Algorithm enhancement for purging xenos
Wow, we're so vicious we actually allowed them to live.
Dr. McCoy always acted as if Mr. Spock having green blood was a personal insult to him.😂
I want my socks back!
no idea what your talking bout govna
wow so much for intelligent life on other worlds
thanks for the story and narration
Seems like a normal stellaris playthrough to me.
Once there were many alien races across our galaxy. That is, until the war with the humans.
Obviously the GA never heard of Halo or Enders Game.
I thought this would be interesting, but I was disappointed. All hfy stories are now “humans are better at war”, how we’re so much more aggressive and powerful. I really miss when it used to be wholesome stories about how bad we are at naming things, the baffling concepts of hot sauce, and how we have really weird animals like a fish with a sword on its face.
i like war stories i don't care for those ones that much
Yeah, now-a-days these stories sound more like a "human supremacy" power fantasy.
Don't get me wrong, believing in our own species is a good thing, but the problem comes when your belief and pride blinds you.
In this story, the counter invasion against the GC nations responsible for the initial invasion was to be expected. A point had to be made there. And I can be okay with the Human Federation giving the cold shoulder to the GC, since they didn't try so hard as they could have to help Humanity. But steam-rolling through planets, killing almost all the aliens, taking all the resources, and doing little to preserve the cultures of the aliens worlds is going a couple steps too far.
Politically and morally, you don't nearly wipe out entire planets worth of species. You don't prove you aren't monsters by turning around and being one. Repay the pain done to you by the people who did it, *at most*, you do more than that and you become the bad guy, not them.
The humans in the start of this story were fine, but the humans at the end sound too eager to have the galaxy under its boot.
I feel like those fit more into the "humans are space orcs" one than the "humans fuck yea" one.
My mate. You are looking up "Humans are Space Orcs" not "Humans are Peace Loving Greater Good Loving T'au" what did you expect?
Also. The purpose of "Humans are space orcs" are to fulfill the Sci-Fi Fantasy of humans being the dominant species of the galaxy, instead of the aliens. You may say there already a lot of them. Well you are wrong. There are much - much more Aliens dominating the Galaxy. Hell, even Warhammer 40K's Humans aren't the dominate species, by technicality, it was either Orkz(ORCS, Humans are Space ORCS) or Tyranids. You think thr T'aus rule over the galaxy? Get fucked homeboy.
Love ❤ your work and your voice ❤
For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!
For the Algorithm