The aliens have laned in ancient Macedonia (aka alexander the greats empire) because that is one of the only civilizations to use the phalanxes formation and heavy cavalry witch were both used in the story. So sadly no crusades because Christianity did not exist yet
the pointy stick, the oldest weapon created by man never fails in causing gory injury. sadly the spear often underappreciated and taken for granted despite being history most primary battlefield weapon.
Reach has always, always been the number one quality on the battlefield. Who cares if their weapons are powerful and devastating if they never get a chance to use them.
Sadly, you are correct. But the songs and stories are not often told about poor men standing in line with spears. We sing about rich men with flashing swords who step forward to splash an exclamation point on the tale the poor men have written with their own blood as ink.
I like to imagine an uneasy alliance or truce between the Holy Roman Empire, France, England, The Ottomans, and The Mongols. At least until they deal with the demons going around killing their peasants.
@@markuhler2664 fun fact: people often overestimate how big the Mongolian Hordes were. You see, Mongolia is very similar to Russia in that regard. vast quantities of open land, but practically nobody living on most of it. They did have very effective and efficient formations thanks to the Khan. But even more than that, they were an entire nation of horse-mounted nomads capable of living off the land; in a time when cavalry was both the be-all-end-all of warfare and prohibitively expensive for most nations. Hell their greatest weapon was probably politics, prodding at divisions until their enemies turned on each other and were easily mopped up.
It looks like the Mantodeans had just triggered a crusade, and even against inhuman forces. The knowledge that alien life, and it is hostile, existed would change things massively down human history. Faith, Steel and Gunpowder.
Given the societal level this takes place at I doubt the general public truly grasps the nature of the threat, especially since so much information exchange merely happens by word of mouth.
that would be cool, but the aliens in this story are fighting against human that are using phalanx formation and heavy cavalry. Only one major country to use these tactics and they the the Macedonians(aka alexander the greats Empire). In addition phalanx tactics were not really used after Rome invaded Greece in 200s BCE.
that would be cool, but the aliens in this story are fighting against human that are using phalanx formation and heavy cavalry. Only one major country to use these tactics and they the the Macedonians(aka alexander the greats Empire). In addition phalanx tactics were not really used after Rome invaded Greece in 200s BCE.
@@asurasyn not quite sure as yes it was iron but not very pure and not steel. I dont think bullet proof, resistant yes but that and distance 200+ yards (rifles). Not saying everyone is a crack shot but aimed shots.
@@johnneisser9963 I'd wager the bolsters in most Legion shields would hold up to at least a couple 5.56 rounds. Coupled with the turtle formation, recurve archers, slingmen and spear throwers, I wouldn't want to be facing them.
@@Denterify2 no, actually, it was abandoned throughout the medieval period, and so did the Germans, but late medieval and early modern pikemen usually didn't wear armor: the Phalangists did.
Funny thing is that if humanity was to go up against a species which relied on bladed weaponry they'd want to use plate armor rather than ballistic armor because it would provide far better protection against such weaponry. Plus with modern mass production, and an entire galaxies worth of iron to work with producing such armor on a massive scale would be trivial and virtually costless.
The "Warrior Caste": "Even if we die in this assault upon the barbaric demons that wish to ravage our peoples......" *_"IN THE NAME OF GOD WE COME TO HEAVEN!"_*
So, I am surprised that most of these stories have humans remaining mostly unaltered because having humans adapted to space travel would be rather interesting. For example humans could augment themselves to have reduced levels of myostatin to prevent muscle atrophy and boosting overall muscle mass along with altered osteoblasts and osteocytes to increase bone strength and prevent the weakening of the bone structure. Additionally, humans could add in additional modifications such as an adaptable circulatory blood flow that alters the flow of blood according the strength of gravity in addition to an enhanced gyroscopic sense of balance allowing humans to move more readily through zero G environments in three dimensions. Lastly, enhancing the human immune system, and generally making humans far stronger and more durable in order to help them survive alien diseases or in other hostile alien encounters.
@@steve2008s Human muscles are more than strong enough on their own in my opinion adding additional robotic muscle to that would be overkill. Remember we don't actually use 100% of your muscular strength.
@@NobodyDungeons the thing is humans are evolving to be even stronger. Their have been several cases in generations back up until now of some humans with unusual strength. In at least one persons case he was able to keep a speeding motorcycle still with his bare hands and a chain. The reason for it after some researchers observed his strength in action was that he had overactive Muscle Fibers. His muscles had a stronger output naturally, in other words it was a biological mutation that his muscles had greater raw strength than normal. Then theirs people with similar mutations that have also been documented with near super human power. Their is a man completely immune to the cold and incapable of hypothermia. His body would increase the Antibodies as his body got colder, his body would basically increase and stabilize its internal heat so that his body may be covered in ice but internally is completely unharmed. These two things would stop his body from permanent cold damage. Theirs plenty more like this too if you’re interested but it’d be interesting if their was a sci-fi story acknowledging that humanity is still evolving and is getting MORE DURABLE.
Try a book called Thin Air by Richard K. Morgan, its about a human super soldier not exactly like what you are describing but similar enough to scratch that super soldier itch.
Looks like the story is more or less taking place in medieval time, those mantodeans should consider themselves lucky to have had honorable deaths against knights as weapons from today's era wouldn't even had granted them a honorable death of seeing their attackers.
Too bad their dropships were remote controlled and fucked right off after landing. Otherwise Romans in space would been a thing... then again would have probably burned them as kin of demons.
WHAT ITS LIKE TO FACE A ROMAN LEGION First the silence hits you as a deafening wave so that you can hear your heartbeat and those around you racing. Next you and your men begin a battle pace march towards the sea of red and gold and brown. still they remain stalwart, stoic and silent. A horn blasts, 5,000 men in unison break rank a spear held high speaking a few words that bellowed forward like thunder shaking the earth beneath your feet. at once again silence. a thunderous lower rumble can be felt in your feet and not seen, hundreds of galloping hooves. somehow more terrifying the thought of a heavy legionaire stills your racing heart. Centurions step forward bellowing commands repeated behind him in ranks. a forward march. you can see the whites of the soldiers eyes, then the whites behind and so on rank after rank of uniform soldiers only broken by those adorned with command. given a moment to study the visage as a painting you could spend a lifetime looking for gaps in armor. A shouted command, and they halt. another shout and the shields in their left hands come from their side to their front and then layered like a dragons scales to those on his left and right. spears resting where the shields meet while the ranks behind the first mimic their actions leveling their spears together, a wall of knives and their wielders too far to strike back. The legion does not move its now positioned ranks they stand ready. your forces push forward seizing the charge. a few long leaping strides to go a storm of heavy wooden half shafted spears ending in a long iron spear shaft and shaped iron tip, the spears land in your shields and the weight of the shaft bends the iron rod, another spear hits and your shield and its spears now weighs about 40lbs, you cannot bear the weight enough to hold true and the man to your left is hit in the chest with 3 of the incoming projectiles. he falls and others struggle to take his place as the mass of heavy spears make movement difficult. the legion remains still. a single stride away several rows of spear tips find more gaps to fill as thousands of pikes now level with you and your men, you arent running to glory you are marching to your death and every single person behind you will be pushing you to it. the rumble you had earlier felt in your feet comes to fruition as two independent forces of heavy cavalry emerge from the corner of your left and right eye. a pincer movement and momentum aimed to hit glancing toward your rear flank and plunging into your left meeting in the middle centered behind you. they were flanking you from the left, the right, meeting towards the middle to join the now advancing pikes in front of you. the commanders at your front lines seeing the carnage ahead orders a mass counter charge, the men around you show their fatigue, most of them had spear wounds and almost none of them still held their shields. Most had broken spears and instead held a gladius, a difference in about 9 ft from an effective strike against those coming towards him. several individual spears, diferent than the heavy half iron half weighted wood weapons from earlier begin pinning the soldier to the ground, the spears were lighter, much thinner and travelled with great speed and accuracy. a thousand more followed landing much further into your marching ranks than the previous missile attacks. many more men fall now that the shield walls have been breaking. your skirmishers and other slingers have been routed by the flanking cavalry and your general and his small contigent of mounted bodyguard are retreating to a rearward position no where near your troops. what little glory you went to seek is gone, effective death was there instead. every forward rank in your army is now clashing with roman ranks from all sides and has been routed. to the left and right of the battlefield light cavlary and skirmers shoot bow and sling at retreating soldiers dealing almost as much damage as the cavlarys charge. the few men that had made it to the tree line in escape would now have to fight through hundreds of leagues of enemy territory dressed as an enemy soldier speaking german near rome. oops.
It'll be all over the internet. Villages would be well armed in many places, sending a rain of bullets. Military forces would arrive very soon. With more than bullets. It'll be over fast.
@@genghiskhan6809 Actually, villages have more firearms per person than towns and cities, since they have more need for anti-wildlife and hunting weapons.
They made the mistake of landing in Verdun, France, during The Great War. They began to fire on the Humans. Little did they know the horrors that awaited them.
@@hunterv9983 such an encounter would have catapulted us up the tech tree even faster than the following hundred years would have already. Instead of going from biplanes to space rockets in less than a hundred years, it would be biplanes to interstellar dreadnoughts in less than a hundred years. Plus, as a bonus, I’m fairly certain that would mean we would have spaceships in Art Deco style!
@@dantreadwell7421 Yes. But those aliens were more reptilian, and their space traveling tech wasn't FTL. These aliens are more insectoid, with FTL capabile space craft.
@@AgroSquerril Consider this, the aliens fight as a semi-organized mob, _zero_ group tactics. The 'primitives' fight in organized groups, with further cooperation between the groups...rinse and repeat. Unless their numbers are completely overwhelming, mobs don't fare well against ordered fighting formations...especially when the primitive's defensive technology (eg- armor) is a relative match for the bugs natural armor.
Without more clues this could be from 1000s AD/CE to about early 1500s AD/CE. Full armor started to go out about mid 1500s due to muskets being used more and more.
If you are somewhat of a history nerd you will know that these aliens have laned in ancient Macedonia (aka alexander the greats empire) because that is one of the only civilizations to use the phalanxes formation and heavy cavalry witch were both used in the story.
It's the HRE, not ancient Macedonia. The yellow flag with a black bird is associated with the HRE. Edit: could also be the Eastern Roman Empire, they also used such a flag.
@@AgroSquerril it is amazing you and netnarrator cover the best hmy/hfy stories with no overlap. I think sometimes you guys should do a collaboration. I think it would be amazing since you both so great voice work. And thanks man I will wait until I get my feet underneath me, it's good to know your channel won't be going anywhere. Most people would just want the cash that really speaks to your character and makes me want to become a patron even more. I have the perfect name picked out too so please don't let anyone use this name. "Captian I'm giving her all shes got" . Being a Scottsman I know that you will be able to do it perfect and at the beginning of every video that would be the best. Your awesome man. I just relocated to Europe from the US. And am loving it, has been some adjustments. And a bit of an adventure, Germany is a great country to live in. I plan to visit Scotland on my first vacation I have any recommendations, any suggestions?
And what do you expect to change? Believe it or not reverse engineering is actually pretty damned hard even when you have an understanding of the technology you are trying to reverse engineer. If you have absolutely no concept of the fundamentals behind the technology then forget even TRYING. Hollywood and authors make reverse engineering something a trivial thing, it is not. Lets put this into perspective, it took the Soviets two years to reverse engineer the B-29. Two years, and nothing used in the B-29 was foreign to their engineers or scientists. Yet it still took two years to reverse engineer an aircraft for which they had all the technological pre-requisites.....
Meanwhile the bugs landing in Scandinavia and Norvegia, freezing while making their way to what looks like a settlement. "Seems to me the demon bugs are cold, eh Bjorn ?" "Indeed Ragnar, how about we get some blood boiling!" As the last alien fell and life was leaving its body it could not help but wonder... why were these primitives laughing even when gravely wounded. And what was this Valhalla thing they were roaring about ?
Sounds like a 10th century Byzantine army. The cavalry likely cataphracts, from the armour. Infantry armed with long spears or pikes, and javelins forming a base of maneuver for the cavalry. The Imperial flag was a black bird on a yellow field, like the later HRE banner.
@@dustyfox8532 And then it's younger brother, the German Panzerkampfwagon I (shortened to the more common Panzer I), and their cousin the American M4A4 Sherman.
20:24 I feel like we shouldn't overlook that this alien, who has never been to earth before this, knows what a porcupine looks like, which carries the somewhat unsettling implication that porcupines might perhaps not be native to earth.
Holy Roman Empire 1, Aliens 0. I wonder with all the flags were they just individual duchies or principalities or if they landed in the middle of the 30’s Year War when all the countries in Europe had huge armies fighting in Germany. Edit: there’s no evidence in the story but imagine if they landed during the ottoman war and the Europeans and Turks fought side by side against the demons from the sky. They also could have landed anywhere. Europe, Asia and Africa would be fine, the Americas with stone weapons, I’m not so sure… even if this is late Middle Ages and Renaissance, the Spanish had a small presence in the new world at the time. If they landed anywhere other than the tropics, they would be facing stone and antler tools with no horses (yet). But imagine if Native Americans used their skills and turned the aliens own claws and hides against them. Ambushes in forests. Deliberate bison stampedes on the plains. Definitely be harder, definitely…
Be me: Invading a planet only for some random defenseless ape to come running out of a bush and beat me to death with the claws of one of my fallen battle brothers
10th or 11th Century Byzantines, I think. If it was a later HRE army there would have been some sort of firearms and artillery. The cavalry sound like cataphracts. Byzantine Imperial flag was also black bird on a yellow field. The banners could indicate Imperial Tagmata bolstered by regional themes.
How funny would it be if these stupid aliens had attacked one of those medieval reenactments and hadn't even noticed our actual military's or cities because of how weird they look.
Hope there will be a part 2 i thought it Black Bird on a Yellow Background thats The Holy Roman Empire. Fighting back Aliens what they will do if they reach the Stars and fight the Demons there ? ^^
The irony, those bugs were actually much less cruel and destructive than even regular medieval invaders, barely an inconvenience. Also arthropoda aliens would be wiped out by bacterial, fungal, worms and other arthropoda infections before any medieval state could engage in serious combat. Seriously ugly shit happens when unprotected from those.
Well at least they died with an honorable death in battle. All hail the pointy stick. It’s modern evolution the rifle lets people stab the bad guys really fast and from much farther away then medieval era spear or pike.
I was wondering why the drop pods weren't being picked out of the sky, or ICBM's didn't meet the carrier in space. Then after a week of marauding with no organised or mechanised response and I figured the time period must have been at least pre-industrial.
Mantodeans: What soft primitives. So easy to kill.
Human Knights: You guys talking a lot of sh** for people in Crusade range O_O
In broad sword range
Dues Vult!
why is this so funny
The aliens have laned in ancient Macedonia (aka alexander the greats empire) because that is one of the only civilizations to use the phalanxes formation and heavy cavalry witch were both used in the story. So sadly no crusades because Christianity did not exist yet
@@aurelian2738 crusade just means war with a goal. You mistook it for "Holy crusade" that's what happened in Jerusalem.
and that's how the Holy Roman Empire began their conquest of the known universe
THE EMPEROR PROTECTS
Long live Emperor Charles CDXCVII Holy Roman Emperor, Archduke of Earth, King of Mars, King of Terra Nova, Duke of Alpha Centauri, and Lord of Titan.
the galactic roman empire!
nah this happened in the bronze age, thats why we didnt know it happened, turns out the sea peoples were even weirder than up to now lool
And thats how the God Emperor started the Great Crusade
the pointy stick, the oldest weapon created by man never fails in causing gory injury. sadly the spear often underappreciated and taken for granted despite being history most primary battlefield weapon.
Reach has always, always been the number one quality on the battlefield. Who cares if their weapons are powerful and devastating if they never get a chance to use them.
Sadly, you are correct. But the songs and stories are not often told about poor men standing in line with spears. We sing about rich men with flashing swords who step forward to splash an exclamation point on the tale the poor men have written with their own blood as ink.
Humanity's claim to fame: pointy sticks and patients.
Yes. I like stabby walking sticks.
spears and polearm are the rifles of the ancient and medieval world, while the sword are the pistol. I guess the mace and Warhammer is the shotgun
I like to imagine an uneasy alliance or truce between the Holy Roman Empire, France, England, The Ottomans, and The Mongols. At least until they deal with the demons going around killing their peasants.
Diplomacy so we got bigger problems
Now I am wondering if this author wrote anything from the perspective of one of the landing parties that ran into the Mongols...
@@GhostBear3067 was thinking the same thing. The Mongols would have been very disappointed in the Bugs' fighting ability.
@@markuhler2664 fun fact: people often overestimate how big the Mongolian Hordes were.
You see, Mongolia is very similar to Russia in that regard. vast quantities of open land, but practically nobody living on most of it.
They did have very effective and efficient formations thanks to the Khan. But even more than that, they were an entire nation of horse-mounted nomads capable of living off the land; in a time when cavalry was both the be-all-end-all of warfare and prohibitively expensive for most nations.
Hell their greatest weapon was probably politics, prodding at divisions until their enemies turned on each other and were easily mopped up.
@@GhostBear3067 honestly though I feel worse for whoever touches down in Byzantine territory. Fun fact #2: they’re the ones who invented Greek Fire.
It looks like the Mantodeans had just triggered a crusade, and even against inhuman forces. The knowledge that alien life, and it is hostile, existed would change things massively down human history.
Faith, Steel and Gunpowder.
"Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition." th-cam.com/video/JGucrteEQJQ/w-d-xo.html
You want a 40k style universe? Cause this is how you get a 40k style universe.
@@darksythe2226 The Emperor Protects!
Given the societal level this takes place at I doubt the general public truly grasps the nature of the threat, especially since so much information exchange merely happens by word of mouth.
@@justinthompson6364 word of mouth will spread like wild fire. One word would be uttered and spread. “Demons”
Ah,so that's why we have so many depictions of knights fighting snails
could be
@@AgroSquerril holy shit you replied to me. Thanks
@@lazartestigus2414 a pleasure :)
😂 You think there were no humor and sarcasm in Middle Age?
Must've been slow times for the knights at work if snails are the mightiest foe they've faced hahahaha.
ah the cavalry charge if you want to fight primitives might i recommend not picking ones the have done nothing but perfect the art of war on itself.
Well, that's one way to solidify the HRE and the power of the Church, give them a horde of inhuman demons to fight.
warhammer fantasy IRL
that would be cool, but the aliens in this story are fighting against human that are using phalanx formation and heavy cavalry. Only one major country to use these tactics and they the the Macedonians(aka alexander the greats Empire). In addition phalanx tactics were not really used after Rome invaded Greece in 200s BCE.
So much for escaping into the woods and becoming the object of European folklore, better luck next time xeno.
I was in fact hoping this would happen. Would have been hilarious.
that would be cool, but the aliens in this story are fighting against human that are using phalanx formation and heavy cavalry. Only one major country to use these tactics and they the the Macedonians(aka alexander the greats Empire). In addition phalanx tactics were not really used after Rome invaded Greece in 200s BCE.
so medieval knights and a group of Roman trained pikes defended Earth.
pretty much
To be fair, without some heavy vehicles and/or explosives to use against them, a Roman legion would be fearsome even today.
@@asurasyn not quite sure as yes it was iron but not very pure and not steel. I dont think bullet proof, resistant yes but that and distance 200+ yards (rifles). Not saying everyone is a crack shot but aimed shots.
Romans? Black Bird on yellow background, Holy Roman Empire (Germany). Pikes and heavy cavalry sounds to me like the 14th-15th century.
@@johnneisser9963 I'd wager the bolsters in most Legion shields would hold up to at least a couple 5.56 rounds.
Coupled with the turtle formation, recurve archers, slingmen and spear throwers, I wouldn't want to be facing them.
"Black bird on a yellow background." Sounds like Teutonic Knights, with good pike formations and archers.
Teutonic knights were Black Cross on white background though, you mean the Holy Roman Empire
I was guessing either Lendenshenk or Macedonian Phalanx.
@@Frame_Late A spear/pikewall is used pretty much universaly through human history
@@Denterify2 no, actually, it was abandoned throughout the medieval period, and so did the Germans, but late medieval and early modern pikemen usually didn't wear armor: the Phalangists did.
@@Frame_Late I don´t know where you base ths but Pikemen normaly had especialy in late medieval early modern age plate armor
THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED!!!!
th-cam.com/video/TqMNBd_69aY/w-d-xo.html
Funny thing is that if humanity was to go up against a species which relied on bladed weaponry they'd want to use plate armor rather than ballistic armor because it would provide far better protection against such weaponry. Plus with modern mass production, and an entire galaxies worth of iron to work with producing such armor on a massive scale would be trivial and virtually costless.
"Oh Holy Algorithm, Blessed Algorithm, We beseech thee to bless thy servant, Agro Squerril."
For the algorithm
Aliens failing to invade the HRE. Hmmm seems like a paradox game event.
I was waiting for M1A2s to come rolling down the hill, or Challenger IIIs....
Oh my, that was glorious. Looks like I have some ideas to play with, thank you Agro Squirrl for your wonderful telling.
a pleasure , glad you enjoyed
this story needs a Sabaton soundtrack to go with it
It already has one: Winged Hussars
@@kokofan50 then the winged hussars arrived!
If you want to hear the YT version with 17M views: th-cam.com/video/rcYhYO02f98/w-d-xo.html
THROUGH THE GATES OFF HELL
AS WE MAKE OUR WAY TO HEAVEN
@@maxxammax0 THROUGH THE NAZI LINES!
aliens: *invade earth without any weapons or way off the planet and kill countless civilians*
humans: so you have chosen suicided with extra steps?
And the Winged Hussars arrived. This is my new fave HFY. Agro Squerril you did it again. Shout out to the author of this.
Well at least they didn't have to fight the winged hussars
Then a winged hussars arrived, coming down to turn a tide! We remember, in September, when a winged hussars arrived.
The "Warrior Caste": "Even if we die in this assault upon the barbaric demons that wish to ravage our peoples......"
*_"IN THE NAME OF GOD WE COME TO HEAVEN!"_*
*”AS GOD WILLS IT! CHARGE!!”*
How the Holy Roman Empire became the Imperium of Man.
So, I am surprised that most of these stories have humans remaining mostly unaltered because having humans adapted to space travel would be rather interesting. For example humans could augment themselves to have reduced levels of myostatin to prevent muscle atrophy and boosting overall muscle mass along with altered osteoblasts and osteocytes to increase bone strength and prevent the weakening of the bone structure. Additionally, humans could add in additional modifications such as an adaptable circulatory blood flow that alters the flow of blood according the strength of gravity in addition to an enhanced gyroscopic sense of balance allowing humans to move more readily through zero G environments in three dimensions. Lastly, enhancing the human immune system, and generally making humans far stronger and more durable in order to help them survive alien diseases or in other hostile alien encounters.
I like the idea of machine fiber running through the body enhancing the muscle, bone and brain. A internet for the body, sort of.
@@steve2008s Human muscles are more than strong enough on their own in my opinion adding additional robotic muscle to that would be overkill. Remember we don't actually use 100% of your muscular strength.
@@NobodyDungeons the thing is humans are evolving to be even stronger. Their have been several cases in generations back up until now of some humans with unusual strength. In at least one persons case he was able to keep a speeding motorcycle still with his bare hands and a chain. The reason for it after some researchers observed his strength in action was that he had overactive Muscle Fibers. His muscles had a stronger output naturally, in other words it was a biological mutation that his muscles had greater raw strength than normal.
Then theirs people with similar mutations that have also been documented with near super human power. Their is a man completely immune to the cold and incapable of hypothermia. His body would increase the Antibodies as his body got colder, his body would basically increase and stabilize its internal heat so that his body may be covered in ice but internally is completely unharmed. These two things would stop his body from permanent cold damage. Theirs plenty more like this too if you’re interested but it’d be interesting if their was a sci-fi story acknowledging that humanity is still evolving and is getting MORE DURABLE.
Well that doesn't matter in this story as we are talking about humanity from ~1300s, not humanity in the 2Xth century or beyond.
Try a book called Thin Air by Richard K. Morgan, its about a human super soldier not exactly like what you are describing but similar enough to scratch that super soldier itch.
Looks like the story is more or less taking place in medieval time, those mantodeans should consider themselves lucky to have had honorable deaths against knights as weapons from today's era wouldn't even had granted them a honorable death of seeing their attackers.
"We will destroy every one of these primitive barbari.... does anyone else hear that strange whistling noise?
" *Whoops. It looks like you just landed on the German front lines! Better be able to breathe chlorine gas!* "
I want to read / hear more about this universe and The Great Crusade Against Demons.
Too bad their dropships were remote controlled and fucked right off after landing. Otherwise Romans in space would been a thing... then again would have probably burned them as kin of demons.
Never underestimate the MIGHTY STICK
Good old stick!
War is just getting the bigger beatstick.
I'm paying more for socks a week than gas because of the darn nanite swarm!
WHAT ITS LIKE TO FACE A ROMAN LEGION
First the silence hits you as a deafening wave so that you can hear your heartbeat and those around you racing.
Next you and your men begin a battle pace march towards the sea of red and gold and brown.
still they remain stalwart, stoic and silent.
A horn blasts, 5,000 men in unison break rank a spear held high speaking a few words that bellowed forward like thunder shaking the earth beneath your feet. at once again silence.
a thunderous lower rumble can be felt in your feet and not seen, hundreds of galloping hooves.
somehow more terrifying the thought of a heavy legionaire stills your racing heart.
Centurions step forward bellowing commands repeated behind him in ranks. a forward march.
you can see the whites of the soldiers eyes, then the whites behind and so on rank after rank of uniform soldiers only broken by those adorned with command. given a moment to study the visage as a painting you could spend a lifetime looking for gaps in armor.
A shouted command, and they halt. another shout and the shields in their left hands come from their side to their front and then layered like a dragons scales to those on his left and right. spears resting where the shields meet while the ranks behind the first mimic their actions leveling their spears together, a wall of knives and their wielders too far to strike back.
The legion does not move its now positioned ranks they stand ready. your forces push forward seizing the charge. a few long leaping strides to go a storm of heavy wooden half shafted spears ending in a long iron spear shaft and shaped iron tip, the spears land in your shields and the weight of the shaft bends the iron rod, another spear hits and your shield and its spears now weighs about 40lbs, you cannot bear the weight enough to hold true and the man to your left is hit in the chest with 3 of the incoming projectiles. he falls and others struggle to take his place as the mass of heavy spears make movement difficult. the legion remains still.
a single stride away several rows of spear tips find more gaps to fill as thousands of pikes now level with you and your men, you arent running to glory you are marching to your death and every single person behind you will be pushing you to it.
the rumble you had earlier felt in your feet comes to fruition as two independent forces of heavy cavalry emerge from the corner of your left and right eye. a pincer movement and momentum aimed to hit glancing toward your rear flank and plunging into your left meeting in the middle centered behind you. they were flanking you from the left, the right, meeting towards the middle to join the now advancing pikes in front of you.
the commanders at your front lines seeing the carnage ahead orders a mass counter charge, the men around you show their fatigue, most of them had spear wounds and almost none of them still held their shields. Most had broken spears and instead held a gladius, a difference in about 9 ft from an effective strike against those coming towards him. several individual spears, diferent than the heavy half iron half weighted wood weapons from earlier begin pinning the soldier to the ground, the spears were lighter, much thinner and travelled with great speed and accuracy.
a thousand more followed landing much further into your marching ranks than the previous missile attacks. many more men fall now that the shield walls have been breaking.
your skirmishers and other slingers have been routed by the flanking cavalry and your general and his small contigent of mounted bodyguard are retreating to a rearward position no where near your troops. what little glory you went to seek is gone, effective death was there instead.
every forward rank in your army is now clashing with roman ranks from all sides and has been routed.
to the left and right of the battlefield light cavlary and skirmers shoot bow and sling at retreating soldiers dealing almost as much damage as the cavlarys charge.
the few men that had made it to the tree line in escape would now have to fight through hundreds of leagues of enemy territory dressed as an enemy soldier speaking german near rome. oops.
Just imagine if they would have invaded in 21 century.
It'll be all over the internet. Villages would be well armed in many places, sending a rain of bullets. Military forces would arrive very soon. With more than bullets. It'll be over fast.
@@got2kittys Thank you.
They would get so much buttkicking they would be send to Brazil!
Or worse, Bydgoszcz.
@@got2kittys That is if they invade the US. Any other country’s “villages” would be equally helpless as the ones in the base story.
@@genghiskhan6809 Actually, villages have more firearms per person than towns and cities, since they have more need for anti-wildlife and hunting weapons.
They wouldn't have made it planetside
So basically the Habsburgs saved the planet. Neat. :D
Gotta have some kind of hobby. They can't spend all their time being broke and building the most narrow of gene-pools.
A unique spin on an invasion story
It's kinda strange not having the intro end with "Bob the dragon" which for the longest time I was mishearing as "bother the dragon:
You need to make another "Cult of the Algorithm"!
something to think about
Now imagine how that would have went if they decided to invade a few centuries later.
They made the mistake of landing in Verdun, France, during The Great War. They began to fire on the Humans. Little did they know the horrors that awaited them.
@@hunterv9983 such an encounter would have catapulted us up the tech tree even faster than the following hundred years would have already. Instead of going from biplanes to space rockets in less than a hundred years, it would be biplanes to interstellar dreadnoughts in less than a hundred years. Plus, as a bonus, I’m fairly certain that would mean we would have spaceships in Art Deco style!
Check out the Worldwar series by Harry Turtledove. Basically this exact premise.
@@dantreadwell7421
Yes. But those aliens were more reptilian, and their space traveling tech wasn't FTL. These aliens are more insectoid, with FTL capabile space craft.
@@hunterv9983 very true, but the set up was just so spot on overall.
The space aliens lost to pointy sticks and we are the primitives?
seems so
Never underestimate your enemies. Because sometimes stick beats tank.
@@AgroSquerril Consider this, the aliens fight as a semi-organized mob, _zero_ group tactics. The 'primitives' fight in organized groups, with further cooperation between the groups...rinse and repeat.
Unless their numbers are completely overwhelming, mobs don't fare well against ordered fighting formations...especially when the primitive's defensive technology (eg- armor) is a relative match for the bugs natural armor.
I honestly waited for the "death by brrrrrrrrrrr."
Nope... Were going medieval....
Same. It was such a shame.
Don't get in front of the guy with a gleam in his eye, swinging his trusty zwei-hander.
Without more clues this could be from 1000s AD/CE to about early 1500s AD/CE. Full armor started to go out about mid 1500s due to muskets being used more and more.
If you are somewhat of a history nerd you will know that these aliens have laned in ancient Macedonia (aka alexander the greats empire) because that is one of the only civilizations to use the phalanxes formation and heavy cavalry witch were both used in the story.
It's the HRE, not ancient Macedonia.
The yellow flag with a black bird is associated with the HRE.
Edit: could also be the Eastern Roman Empire, they also used such a flag.
There is nothing better than a Scottsman reading space stories. When I have a job I am gonna become a patron. Heck I may become one before that
Take your time , sort yourself out before thinking about the channel. Its not going anywhere. Glad you are enjoying the content
@@AgroSquerril it is amazing you and netnarrator cover the best hmy/hfy stories with no overlap. I think sometimes you guys should do a collaboration. I think it would be amazing since you both so great voice work.
And thanks man I will wait until I get my feet underneath me, it's good to know your channel won't be going anywhere. Most people would just want the cash that really speaks to your character and makes me want to become a patron even more.
I have the perfect name picked out too so please don't let anyone use this name. "Captian I'm giving her all shes got" . Being a Scottsman I know that you will be able to do it perfect and at the beginning of every video that would be the best. Your awesome man. I just relocated to Europe from the US. And am loving it, has been some adjustments. And a bit of an adventure, Germany is a great country to live in. I plan to visit Scotland on my first vacation I have any recommendations, any suggestions?
@@cedric3973 I was born and live in South Africa , My moms side of the family is Scottish. I hear Sterling is nice (mom was born near it)
Now imagine IF something like that would have happened for real,I really wonder how Humanity would have evolved?🤔
Or better it did it was just buried away in some churches basement in Europe cause of how absurd it was to everyone present forgotten
And what do you expect to change?
Believe it or not reverse engineering is actually pretty damned hard even when you have an understanding of the technology you are trying to reverse engineer. If you have absolutely no concept of the fundamentals behind the technology then forget even TRYING.
Hollywood and authors make reverse engineering something a trivial thing, it is not. Lets put this into perspective, it took the Soviets two years to reverse engineer the B-29. Two years, and nothing used in the B-29 was foreign to their engineers or scientists. Yet it still took two years to reverse engineer an aircraft for which they had all the technological pre-requisites.....
@@alganhar1 I think it's less the technological changes and more the cultural ramifications the events of this story would have.
i was literally cutting a swath through calradia with a vaegri cavalry charge while listening to this
WE RAISE A MUG OF KAVASS TO VICTORY THIS DAY!!!
This story can be summarized as "fuck around and find out".
Thank you for the glorious reading.
a pleasure
Dragging the line, is not necessarily, a survivable tactic.
Space farers with no orbital weapons or personal ones.
Surprised they lasted as long as they did.
Meanwhile the bugs landing in Scandinavia and Norvegia, freezing while making their way to what looks like a settlement.
"Seems to me the demon bugs are cold, eh Bjorn ?"
"Indeed Ragnar, how about we get some blood boiling!"
As the last alien fell and life was leaving its body it could not help but wonder... why were these primitives laughing even when gravely wounded. And what was this Valhalla thing they were roaring about ?
Hundreds of years later they try it again, landing in Tennessee and Texas this time...
Sounds like a 10th century Byzantine army. The cavalry likely cataphracts, from the armour. Infantry armed with long spears or pikes, and javelins forming a base of maneuver for the cavalry. The Imperial flag was a black bird on a yellow field, like the later HRE banner.
For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!
That would be the Polish. Welcome to Earth.
You've met the polish lancers, Now meet the German MG-42.
@@dustyfox8532 And then it's younger brother, the German Panzerkampfwagon I (shortened to the more common Panzer I), and their cousin the American M4A4 Sherman.
*Warning, Class 1 death world sentients provoked*
*Suggested actions, full scale retreat with orbital bombardment of first and prior contact areas*
20:24 I feel like we shouldn't overlook that this alien, who has never been to earth before this, knows what a porcupine looks like, which carries the somewhat unsettling implication that porcupines might perhaps not be native to earth.
You know. This has the germ of a kick-ass game franchise.
Impressive to see the power of medieval earth.
Thank you for the reading
RIDE NOW!
RIDE!
RIDE TO RUIN! TO THE WORLD ENDING!
DEATH!
DEATH!
DEATH!
DEATH!
Holy Roman Empire 1, Aliens 0. I wonder with all the flags were they just individual duchies or principalities or if they landed in the middle of the 30’s Year War when all the countries in Europe had huge armies fighting in Germany. Edit: there’s no evidence in the story but imagine if they landed during the ottoman war and the Europeans and Turks fought side by side against the demons from the sky. They also could have landed anywhere. Europe, Asia and Africa would be fine, the Americas with stone weapons, I’m not so sure… even if this is late Middle Ages and Renaissance, the Spanish had a small presence in the new world at the time. If they landed anywhere other than the tropics, they would be facing stone and antler tools with no horses (yet). But imagine if Native Americans used their skills and turned the aliens own claws and hides against them. Ambushes in forests. Deliberate bison stampedes on the plains. Definitely be harder, definitely…
had it been the 30 years war it be bullets rather then arows and lances where becoming increcingly less common as the war went on
Be me: Invading a planet only for some random defenseless ape to come running out of a bush and beat me to death with the claws of one of my fallen battle brothers
10th or 11th Century Byzantines, I think. If it was a later HRE army there would have been some sort of firearms and artillery.
The cavalry sound like cataphracts. Byzantine Imperial flag was also black bird on a yellow field. The banners could indicate Imperial Tagmata bolstered by regional themes.
"Im Blind! no, just stupid..." Sorry this was just to funny
NOT MY OTHER SOCK, IT'S THE ONLY ONE I HAVE LEFT!
I think the author underestimated just how powerful arrows can be.
How funny would it be if these stupid aliens had attacked one of those medieval reenactments and hadn't even noticed our actual military's or cities because of how weird they look.
I want to watch this as a comedy movie now after reading
Hope there will be a part 2 i thought it Black Bird on a Yellow Background thats The Holy Roman Empire. Fighting back Aliens what they will do if they reach the Stars and fight the Demons there ? ^^
Xeno: Kill this primitives is boring.
Humans in metal armor: Cowabunga it is.
stab stab
Lol!
I half expected catapults at some point.
The moment he described a yellow flag with a black bird I KNEW they were done for!😂
“HE WHO ALLOWS THE ALIEN TO LIVE SHARES IN THE CRIME OF ITS EXISTENCE.”
Indeed Venerable Dreadnought
Bless the Squerril
Bless the Author
THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED!!!
*And then the Winged Hussars arrived!*
For the Algorithm ,For the Author(s), For the Disembodied voice! For the Squirrel 🐿
This will never not be the best story here. xD
Sabaton plays in background
For the algorithm and the narrator.
For the algorithm
For the "AGRORITHM "
For the algorithm
"A black bird on a yellow background" Oh dear god, they invaded the Prussians
I just got my next alt u Humans for Stellaris.
And then the winged hussars arrived...
He kinda sounds like a more stable possibly younger crusty.
We need a part two
15:13 so... Holy Roman Empire? is odd to find medieval germans in a HFY-HASO story
well, oddly specifically
Aliens vs The Holy Roman Empire
Classic.
The irony, those bugs were actually much less cruel and destructive than even regular medieval invaders, barely an inconvenience.
Also arthropoda aliens would be wiped out by bacterial, fungal, worms and other arthropoda infections before any medieval state could engage in serious combat. Seriously ugly shit happens when unprotected from those.
For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!
"You came to the wrong planet, fools"
ThAt kids is why you don’t charge a pike wall head on.
*When the Winged Hussars arrive*
Well done!
They have stolen so many socks at this point so all I can say is, stop stealing my socks
i have sent a memo to the stop stealing the socks department. They are small and backed up so it may take a while
thanks to the author
indeed
When Starcraft and Age of Empires are fused together...
Here comes the calvary.
warhammer fantasy IN SPACE
Well at least they died with an honorable death in battle.
All hail the pointy stick. It’s modern evolution the rifle lets people stab the bad guys really fast and from much farther away then medieval era spear or pike.
to be honest its the modern version of a repeating crossbow
A comment to appease the algorithm and help the channel.
Giant Crab, Enemy Crab! Giant Enemy Crab! :)
On this week's list of interstellar civilizations too stupid to exist...
Add this to the stupid aliens list, attacking humans at any tech level without bringing actual weapons, and air or orbital support.
keeper going
kept going
I was wondering why the drop pods weren't being picked out of the sky, or ICBM's didn't meet the carrier in space. Then after a week of marauding with no organised or mechanised response and I figured the time period must have been at least pre-industrial.
You didn’t figure it out when the people were bathing and gathering water from the river
@@mcarrowtime7095 That could apply to the majority of the world by occupied surface area today, and a good portion of the modern population.
@@ckl9390 not when it comes to reddit.