I remember a time where I went to a Fantasy Larp I was a 13 boy and It was around my 3rd time going. I ended up seeing a guy around 6' 4" in full metal armor, and he looked terrifying. He approached me and had a sit down with me similar to this video telling me how I can stay safe and watch out for others. Turns out the guy was making sure to look as intimidating as possible and he watched over all the younger players making sure they had fun and stayed safe. There were a couple of times where he would drag other men out of the Inn/Taverns and lock them outside if he saw the grooming younger players. I'm 17 and 6' tall now and now both of us do the same thing to help make players stay safe. Best guy iv'e ever met
It's always good to have people aware of this stuff, even if just casually, as long as they don't abuse their power either, and it's always good to have the backing or approval of the game runners just in case an issue arises. But not all games have people that watch out for others, and that's why it's important for folks to know about this stuff, because many people are oblivious the the lengths predators of all kinds will go to.
I remember when I was just barely 18 I started larping as an NPC. There were too 16/15 year old girls who loved to larp and also happened to be Mormon. In this larp you just asked “do you consent to physical roleplay” And it was a yes or no, without saying what the physical roleplay was. We were playing monsters and attacking the PC cabins when the leader of the same larp from another state asked to do a physical rp. I said yes, assuming it was going to be something safe. This 6’ 40 year old man grabbed my arm and pulled me into the cabin into an intimidating hug. I was an 18 year old girl who didn’t feel like it was the best thing but just felt like it was part of the game. Later I mentioned it to the other girls and it turns out he did that to them too. All the other npcs were shocked because there’s a rule that you can’t do physical roleplay during a battle. Yet nobody mentioned it to us. After a few hours of feeling uncomfortable about it I pulled aside a safety Marshall of larp and said something. They then pulled aside the leader of the larp and had me repeat it. Because I mentioned it, they changed the physical roleplay negotiations entirely within a matter of two months to a much safer and respectful system. If you see something. Say something. And hey don’t forget to ask what someone wants to do with a physical rp.
@@LarpMix The thing is, it didn't "have" to happen. This sort of thing should be explicitly explained in the "tutorial" pre-session. The fact that nobody thought about this possibility, beforehand, somebody was being careless. But, yea, it is good to see it get called out and repaired. 2 months though... smh
THEY ASK IF YOU WANT PHYSICAL ROLEPLAY?? I didn't even get the option for a yes or no, I was 13 when some creep drug me away from my family and wouldn't let me go, he only let me go when I made a scene. This was at a Ren Faire.
@@AdriftInTheWatersGorge This is a reason I'm not a fan of outsiders dressing in costume at Ren Faires also. I get that for many, that's a huge fun part of the experience, but that person may not have even been involved in the faire. Also, why the heck is some dude putting hands on you at any age, let alone as a minor. Sounds like a horrible experience and I'm sorry that happened to you. I personally haven't been to a Ren Faire in about 20 years because I saw other similar things occurring at one I worked at.
I've been larping for 7 years now and I've just become a mum. I've been thinking about how I will be approaching larp with my son, and I really appreciate this video. Thank you.
Since you've been playing for a while, you may already have seen some of this. Make sure you're at a good game and just be there. I think being aware of these things and making sure they are also aware is key.
I've been Larping for 28 years now and I have to echo what Max says here. I would also add a buddy system if the parent can't/won't attend. Setting hard boundaries like you can't go to the bathroom alone or be alone in a room alone with someone other then your buddy. Great video Max Thanks for putting this up.
Some games I attend are adopting the way the scouts do things now, which is not just the buddy system, but having 3 people at all times. I think this stuff ran unchecked for a long time, but now that it's getting called out a lot more, change is starting to happen.
@@mystictony0260 that's a good question. I guess if you have to ask then you already know the answer. If you just aren't sure and your gut is telling you something is off about your buddy then pick another buddy. You obviously don't feel safe with this person so you should find someone else that does make you feel comfortable and safe. But also safety in numbers. Get more then one buddy to hang with. That way your a hard target to prey on.
All the larps I have been a part of require a guardian for anyone under 18 years old, a waver signed and complete knowledge of the rules for combat and basic etiquette before playing the game.
@@Artst2010 That's not true of all games though, and many allow for these guardians to just be other players 18 and up, who pay no attention to the person once they are past the entry table... On paper it seems legit, but in practice, is not. Some games are on point with this, but I think most are not.
@@LarpMix as I said...the larps I have personally attended. I have no doubt that not all larps are like that. The first larp I went to there was not an age requirement that I am aware and I witnessed some uncomfortable occurances. The fantasy larp I attend required 18+ or a legal guardian who is 18+ both must sign a waiver but how strongly this rule is enforced I am not sure. I also attend a fantasy larp in Canada and the age requirement is 18 and over or the person must be accompanied by a legal adult no exceptions. ID is required to be available if asked for at all times.
Thank you for making this, I started larping at 14 and I went into it managing to make friends with this guy in his 30's. Now I had gone into this being somewhat cautious but I made friends with him and got decently close and pretty much spent all my time at the events I attended with him. At the time I was in a pretty crappy and vulnerable situation where I had no supportive adults in my life and he became one of the few people that gave me support. One year after being friends with him I find out that he can't go to our larp event anymore (he doesn't tell us why specifically but our group was aware that he had money troubles and we assumed that) and we as a group were upset but we go to the event anyways and I find out this guy had sexually harrassed a person I was friends with when they were 16 and had sexually harrassed multiple other people. When I look back through our conversations (both in person and online) I realised how he had potentially groomed me this entire time. Needless to say it took a long time to get over and even after taking a massive break from larping for exams I still struggled to play unaffected by it, thankfully it's better now but I honestly wished I had a video like this to watch when I started larping.
Thank you for sharing this. Like I said, I've seen this personally over the years and this is the type of stuff that doesn't get mentioned and can be easily overlooked and not understood what is actually occurring.
Thank you for making this video. I'm rather new to LARP, and I haven't gone to a LARP yet. I'm 14 and waiting to go to an event when I'm older, less vulnerable.
Same here!! I haven’t been to a larp ever but if I do I think I’d wanna bring my mum or dad since my little bro is to young and my sister wouldn’t be down for it haha
I’m a little younger than you, and I haven’t been to a LARP either yet. I’m planning to go when I’m older though with my older siblings or my cousin or something. I just found out about LARP and thought it was 100% safe. I saw this video and got scared. When you go in the future, stay safe and bring someone with you.
I’m a short teenage girl so I go with my 30 year old brother I know a lot of my friends or other people think it’s just not as fun to go with someone older but I like it a lot. He is huge ( very tall and bulky) so we make a comedic duo me being short and him being very nice and mellow while I’m Serious As long as you choose the right adult to go with you can have some real fun So It’s really not worth the risk of going alone and having something happen when you can have just as much fun going with someone that help to insure safety it also makes for a good escape goat if there is something you DO NOT want to do but you don’t want to be THAT person you can just be like oh my brother needs me sorry and book it or I give him a look and he continues with a smooth rescue lol
It's good to have someone you trust with you but also stand up for yourself. Being pressured into anything is not acceptable. Yes, I have been in those situations.
I'm rather knew to the LARP world and have been wanting to share the experience with my family - there's a lot to unpack and consider first and I appreciate this video. Stay safe all, keep up the great work Maxx and HAVE FUN!
Will be using some of this intormation in rewrite code of conduct section of Ember Newfoundlands LARP Rule section. Thank you for bringing the details to light, thank you .
I was always told by larpers that I shouldn’t start larping until I’m 17 so to hear that kids as young as 8 do it is both surprising and alarming at the same time
Many larps are different and structured in different ways and run in different ways, so it's always difficult to just blanket rule stuff in the worldwide arena of larp. What is most important, is that you are there with someone trusted by "YOU". You are ultimately the best judge of who you can trust, but certainly consider the advice of others you trust, if they are critical of someone/thing. You may never encounter anything I mention in this video, and many do not. But now you will be aware if you ever see it happen. I hope many enjoyable experiences for you, when you do go.
This is some serious subject that must be brought to attention waaaay more often. I've been to an event in which girls have been repeatedly molested by a GM under the false pretences of RP (one girl was a priestess to a goddess of love and lust, another one was under a charm spell...) When one of the girls broke out in tears in our OOG camp, things escalated quickly and the guy risked getting some serious lynching. What's truly worrying, though, is how his closest friends came to HIS aid, marking both girls as liars. Meh, the campaign got disbanded a couple of months later due to the civil war the whole thing caused.
TLDR: LARP much like any other hobby brings in all sorts of people and requires as much attention as any other group activity. No more just because there are weird people, no less just because it's a "game". Pay attention to your kids - and they should be as fine as you can hope to raise them.
I know this isn't a popular subject, but good on you for saying what needs to be said. And honestly, we should always be hypervigilent in looking out for our kids everywhere (trafficking is real), but especially in an overnight, off in the woods, mostly adult setting. I love LARPing, but as a mom of five, I agree with your concerns as well. Thanks for using your voice to make LARPing a better experience for everyone.🙂
I was definitely idealizing LARP as an amazing place I could feel safe and as a tool to potentially help heal old wounds through character building because of things other LARPers/TH-camrs have said online. Not anymore... Thank you so much for making this video! It really brought me back to reality and made me realize I am just as vulnerable there as anywhere else and I need to have my wits about me and probably should refrain from going alone as I had originally planned to.
The answer for almost all larp questions is, it depends. There are many really well thought out, friendly larps run by caring people who have really done their homework. But those are not the majority. You could go alone and be just fine, meet great people and never even see anything I mention in this video. However, many do paint larp as an accepting community of amazing people and as much as I wish that were true across the board, as you stated, it's basically the same as anything else involving groups of people. But please do still try it, but it's always more fun if you can get a friend or two to join in with you. Best of luck and I hope you have positive experiences!
LarpMix I still do really want to join in! There is a LARP where I live (Connecticut in case you have any recommendations) that seems pretty good called Mythical Journeys but there isn’t much out there on it outside their limited own stuff. I found out about them through a booth they had set up at my local Ren Fair which I feel like helps bring up their credibility. I’m considering contacting the creators directly to get a better feel and hopefully get an idea about documenting the whole thing and maybe getting some interviews which I think would be a lot of fun.
Not familiar with anything up that way, but it sounds like a good idea to reach out them beforehand with any questions. Hope it all works out. I'd suggest trying google and FB to maybe try to find more groups, many are small and elusive. The main larp I attend might as well not exist, it's all word of mouth and basically no advertising. They are out there and usually once you attend one, you can ask about others, and find out what else is in the area.
@@NatyRocke That was three years ago. I am just now finding out about LARP stuff (voluntering as videographer at a preHistoric Museum, but that is not LARP yet). Just wondering - did you get to go? Or was everything down cuz of Corona at your place too?
You have to treat the LARP like a wilderness, we go to the park but learn to avoid the animals, we go to the beach but avoid the jellyfish. You have to be aware of safety always. it's important to stay close with those who you know and slowly open up to others. Share enough of yourself to socialize but be aware they are still strangers. Eventually you will know who you can be comfortable with without putting too much of yourself out there.
I was actually thinking about making a video really similar to this one based on my own LARP experiences, and was curious if anyone in the community had actually been talking about these heavy topics (within the context of LARP specifically) publicly, which is how I came across your video. Thank you for sharing, and putting together a presentation. It's not fun or easy to talk about, but if we want to create a safer community, we absolutely need to be having these discussions.
All I hear is how great and welcoming of a community larps are, and for the most part it is true. However, like many hobbies, there is a serious dark side as well, which is almost never mentioned, and certainly not in public. I just want people to be aware and be careful, because it can happen anywhere at any time. I'm glad you found this video.
Trust me, I've was that kid in places and situations I should not have been, be involved, be aware and be careful. Don't assume evil based on rumour (the bane of all sanity), but keep an eye and ear open.
I'm thinking about going to a LARP when I'm over 18, I don't have any friends that would be interested at the moment and my parents arent interested either, does anyone have advice for larping safely if you have nobody to go with?
Find out which larp you plan to attend. If it's a local one, get on their FB group, or whatever they have. Try to meet some folks ahead of time and build relationships online with them. If they have non-game events, try to check those out. But be careful, when I say creeps are everywhere, I mean everywhere and it's not always opposite sexes. As I mentioned, I have seen a fair amount of non-male creepers at game. And sometimes they'll use that as a tactic also. (People are really messed up) Just be aware, be smart and don't fall into any of the stuff I mention in this video. Hopefully you'll get in with a good group or a few folks you can have fun with. But the moment there is an issue, weigh the options. I would say, you should never fall in love with a larp. Because you could end up in toxic relationship with it. And sometimes it is harder to walk away from a group/larp then you'd think. I'm being very negative in this response, but I just want everyone to be educated and open-eyed when approaching this hobby. As an side note, keep talking to friends, or even your parents about it, maybe you can eventually get them convinced to check it out.
The most dangerous LARPs are listed here in order: is 1. My Little Pony LARPs/Brony meet ups have the highest density of sex offenders and mentally ill people 2. Any animated children's show (Barney is safe, no molestations or drugs in that fandom generally. Good people) 3. Any animated show intended for adults 4. Lord of the rings 5. Any larp with elves 6. Fantasy without elves 7. science fiction 8. historic war reenactment. Fortnite gamer events of any kind if a groomer hotspot as well.
Thank you for the information. I will share this video to my family, and help protect the younger group by doing so. I appreciate your concern, and hope you have a good day.
Thank you for this video. I have larped since 08 and I think only really in the last 5 years when going to huge systems how much there is bad stuff going on as well as good things. It was never intentionally I looked away just didn't really stop and hear the stories because I was too focused on the fun I had. But I have in the last 5 years noticed what does happen and I have found myself trying to be responsible as an adult and a human being but sometimes it is very much person in the middle with no clue and only hearing tales. Its easy not to see things. But its far more important to understand when something is wrong and prevent it before it happens. I am not a parent but I found this video very informative and helpful for things to be aware of.
@@lilliekat1103 which country are you in. LARP's tend to have different genres and groups. The best way is to look in your country for a nearby larp group. Use google to find the system and then facebook when you find a system. People will be eager to help. Dont worry about looking silly, just go and have fun. Grab your ticket and a costume. Lots of vendors over the internet. I live in the UK and started at an event called herofest in south wales. Nice little system back then it was literally one hit per limb system back then. then got into others seeing them over the internet. each time i went to a new system it was an adventure. If you are UK feel free to contact me on my youtube and i will happily give more info.
Thank you very much for this vid. I am a under 18 and i will be in my first larp soon. Even tho i heard all this, it wont stop me from trying to larp. Anyway, thank you :D
Thank you for giving a serious discussion on this topic. I hate how abuser is thrown around in the larp community for every little tiny reason, but you talked about actual possible abusers. You’re not screeching about “racist” people wearing “black face” for trying to play a dark elf, but you talked about real abuse and bullying which is good. And also thank you for addressing that this abuse can happen in any environment not just Larp. People act like larp is worse and more infested than every other community which makes no sense
Omg yes, so much this! The way some words get misappropriated makes them lose their real (and serious!) meaning, and that's so frustrating. People are people, and there are good and bad people everywhere, but I hate when human issues are pushed onto mythical characters. 🤦🏾♀️
Thanks for making this video, its not a pretty topic, but I'm glad someone talked about it. If I ever need to bring this up to someone, I can link them here.
i think kids as young as 8 should b able to attend however i think if they are younger than 18 they should be with a guardian and not leave their sight
Great video max, I like seeing you tackling more serious topics in larp, you didn’t strike me as the type of guy who could articulate this kind of thing, Seems I was wrong XD
So, my wife and I have been LARPing off and on for about ten years now. Our first date was a LARP and I have to say, I've never experienced anything like you're describing here. We were listening to it and looking at each other from across the room, like 'What the hell?' I've never heard of a LARP that allows anyone under the age of sixteen and if they they do, they always have to have a guardian present at all times. We're over here wondering exactly which LARPs you're talking about. Also...if these 'missing stair' people are all generally known, why the hell doesn't someone do something about them like, you know, ban them from games?
There's 100's of larps, maybe more in the U.S. alone. Many allow under 18, under 16 and even lower. Generally they require parental supervision or someone else to be with them at all times, but how well that is enforced is anyone's guess. And as to the missing stair thing, it's like I say in the video, it's mostly observation and accusation. Until they actually do something or something is made evident, like being on a watch list or having warrants or something, then what can you do? I'm not saying it's right, but these people exist everywhere in life. Not sure where you play at, but maybe you're at a good game, they do exist. If not, maybe you just never noticed before...
backing this, ive NEVER seen LARPS like this ever. Ive been in many different ones in the US and this must be more of a isolated thing. Most of the ones ive been in theres a serious underage rule that doesnt allow them to even start playing unless theres a gaurdian or parent there. Also, some of the ones that are 3 day weekends WONT allow children at all. The missing stair thing is new to me? Ive never heard anything like that. It sounds odd. If the staff and players all know and have a complaint about it they'll, if they have common sense usually just kick them out. But, who knows maybe these groups hes talking about are smaller and weirder ones. Lastly, the whole thing about bullying and stuff, i have NEVER encountered something like that. If its a good and normal LARP group then people are pretty welcoming and friendly. Maybe i just havent found a group like that and if i ever do i know i wont be dumb enough to stay in it.
This is probably dumb coming from someone who hasn't LARPed (I want to, but still want to be informed before going into my first event, I'm not young but being informed is key). I have been watching his videos and he mentions several times about high dollar LARP events; maybe it's in the more expensive groups? Aside from that, a lot of stuff changes over time, rules & regulations alike. Also, there are a lot of local LARP groups and just because yours has never seen it, doesn't mean others haven't. I am sure some LARP groups/events might have a less strict age restriction. He hints that you are starting to see more kids show up, which I agree is dumb. He also mentions the ones doing it might try and groom them into thinking it's normal and OK. It's never OK, especially towards a child/teen. What everyone should take away from this is: Be aware and vigilant, don't ignore signs, always go in groups/couples and never go alone.
@@dojjin1334 ive been to higher end ones and usually you wont see any children or anything. The most ive gotten was drunken dudes say dumb things but usually the community will shut it down quickly.
Remember being 15/16 and being able to get absolutely blackout drunk with no repercussions. I was also doing this outside of larp but the level of ease I could get access to alcohol at larp events was defo something that kept me coming back. Now I’m a lot older and keep an eye out for the same thing happening to other young kids. Luckily I was fairly smart and managed to avoid anything really bad happening to me but there were some super close calls. Keep an eye on the younger members of your group. Especially at fest larps.
Hey bud, id suggest bringing your parents for that but you'll probably have a great time Try a tabletop rpg first, though, so you can get comfortable with roleplay and hp management. Video games are great but roleplay irl is waaaay different than predetermined npc interactions
Plastic baseball bat lightsaber/sword fights and rubber band pistol/wand spell fights Harry Potter style. Also watch Harry Potter and play D&D. Honestly, if you played He-man or acted out some cartoon show around five to nine years old ... you have already Larp with your friends.
This kind of reminds me of an airsoft game I played. There was a kid I taged at the end of a game. He turned around and shot at me after the game. It was single hit illumination game so I knew he took it personal. I walked up to him, put my hand on his shoulder and calmly told him "that's not what this is, that's not what we do here, it's just a game"
I've seen/heard of this kinda stuff happening at SCA events but not a whole lot in my kingdom but i can definitely see how this kinda stuff can happen. Its a real shame.
I’m 16 now and reallly wanna Larp. On the discord account and Facebook the community are so wonderful to me. Still I need to be smart cause who knows really if everyone is nice as they are online in real life
I feel like most of these things can just be avoided by good parenting. Just like with any other activity, the closest I can think of would be a festival. Don't let your kids go alone, set a minimum age they can go with their own friends, like 16. If they're younger you stay with them. NEVER let them go alone, I don't even understand how that's not common knowledge?
Man I was looking forward because I found a group 20 min away, now I'm not so much turned away but it such a shame that even places that are meant to be escapes are just not always necessarily the safest
It's true. Just like anything else, just be aware and know when something isn't right. That's all. Larps can get tightly knit over time and much is overlooked or downplayed, but painfully obvious to new people seeing it with fresh eyes.
Honestly, I'd say 16 with a chaperone of some kind, but probably 18. If I were to run a game, I'd have a specific youth guided session, or just have it 18 and up for legality issues. There are games you can attend at 12, but you'll almost certainly have to have a parent. Look into it and be safe, it can be a lot of fun!
I was treated as a missing stair. I was a larp player from a different game going into a new one. I didn't know the new game, but everyone avoided me when I'd ask anything. I'd try asking the new player helpers but they didn't want to help because they were there to hang out with their friends. It ended up being super toxic because it was very 'us vs them' and if you weren't part of the friend group, you weren't welcome at the larp. It fucking sucked. They started making rumours about new players, so they'd eventually drive away anyone they didn't like; they had the owners of the larp in their pocket.
That sounds more like cliques, bullying and elitism probably. I've seen new players driven out of games for all kinds of reasons like being mentally handicapped, poor, trans, not attractive and even being too attractive. When it comes to these types of toxic people, there is nothing that will stop them, they will find something to latch on to and use it. Everyone should be able to play and I know about these stories because I've always been like the sort of laid back guy that will walk around with anyone, no matter what. The important thing is to recognize behavior like this quickly and if the operators of the game won't fix it, then move on to another game, there is no point in staying. In time, it'll fold and the players will kill their own game.
@@LarpMix its annoying because I'm in an area where the aren't other larp games. Im two hours from that game, the next closest is six hours away. I'm literally two hours away from the main city of this province. There is just nothing else going :/
That is rough. I know folks who drive 4 hours to attend certain games though. Maybe try starting your own small game? If not, I'd say just don't larp for now. It's not worth going through those experiences.
@@NemFX Curious but which Province? I live in Canada and there is only one larp group near me but even then, it's a little too far for a city person with no car.
Many groups /warbands within larp are very insular making it very hard to join into friend groups as they don't really want to get to know new people EVEN if they may have useful outside of larp skills ( i was turned away from groups even though i am a real life blacksmith and can sew). There are bands of People who just want others to f**k off even if they can help them
The only time you should bring your children that aren’t teenagers to a larp game/event is if there a specific area that’s for children only (ie. child friendly activities/games)
Not a larper myself, but I was waiting for him to say something about people who gate the community with a toxic sense of ownership and “I’m more serious than you”ship, and instead his first point is about “known peadophiles”. That’s not cool, and the casualness regarding their existence is terrible. That absolutely is not ok and should not be happening. I’m seeing positive stories in the chat about circumstances where bad things happened but rules got changed and seemingly all is good now... but that’s not ok to begin with, and it’s uncomfortable hearing that this is a prevalent thing in LARPing. Y’all should be free to do what you find fun without sexual deviants tainting it in the first place
Hey so I want to larp and I don’t know what age I should start because I fell like I am to young. So I was wondering if I should sign up for larping for a group under 13. So what do you think I should.
You'll have to find a group that allows under 18, but if you do, be sure to have friends you trust with you. See if you can bring a parent or older sibling along... I know that may not always be the coolest thing to do, but they'll have your best interests in mind if they come along. If not, wait until you're comfortable, don't do any overnight stays. But always remember the stuff I said in this video. Larp can be a lot of fun and I hope you love it when you go and have only positive experiences.
I think there should be an adult larp game or games and games that are family friendly. But idk, i am just a curious person to see what the larp thing is about and i am starting to like it. But i agree there can be bad people everywhere in this community that children and adults should be aware.
It's mostly about awareness. I have seen child predators at larp and everytime, they were discovered and removed. But I see many things I discuss in this video happening to adults as well. It's important for everyone to just be aware and if something doesn't seem right, question it and take appropriate action when needed.
i went to Mediveal grp and after fighter practice turned in to orgys men and women at the event. I was caught off guard that was 76 it was what the culture was like back then
I just wanted to mention another kind of grooming which happens that is less associated with pedophiles and more associated with gendered violence. Often an older person (usually a man) will mentor young/ inexperienced boys and male teenagers while acclimatizing them to misogynistic behaviors (talking about women's bodies in a sexual/ derogatory way, using sexist/ exclusionary language/ instilling beliefs in stereotypes about women as less competent/ encouraging them to view women not as friends but as potential conquests/ telling them that women habitually lie about sexual assault or are 'crazy'). It then escalates to targeting specific women or girls in the group to slander with stories that paint them as manipulative, vindictive liars who create stories about being victimized for attention. This process can go on for years, and often has several leaders grooming young men and boys to accept their sexism as normal, and also creating false experiences that make the younger members think what they say is true. An example of this is if a young man gets in a neutral conflict with a women the abuser who is grooming him as an ally will say things like "she's gonna accuse you of harassing her, she's telling people you're a perv behind your back, she's making up the conflict to mess with you, she's addicted to attention," etc. The conclusion of this is that the person grooming the group will go on to sexually assault a women or girl, and then call upon the young men they've been grooming for years to support them in pressuring the girl to remain silent and leave the group, or to convince other members that she is unreliable, based on the years of false evidence they've been presented with. This is obviously only one of many kinds of grooming, but it is very common in male dominated spaces that have a tradition of mentoring, and has traumatizing effects on both the woman who was harmed and the minors who stood up for the abuser and only realise years later what they had actually done. Parents who notice their teenage sons are suddenly using sexist language that they never used before or suddenly adopting beliefs that are against all the values they've been taught should be aware that their son may be being groomed by an abuser. This is not to say that men don't also experience violence at the hands of men or women. Everyone is vulnerable. I just want to bring it up because this specific kind of "old boys club" is so baked into our culture that people may not even notice what is happening-- I think it's fair to say we've all been groomed by centuries of patriarchy (men and women both) and find sexism of this sort so common it can be difficult to remember that sexist behaviors and ideas are not normal or healthy, and that they are pretty much always passed to the younger generations by older more powerful people who have a strong incentive to normalise them in order to continue to benefit from the power discrepancy in their community.
And you are just a sexist feminist. Shut up...there are inappropriate guys and then there are people who refer to 'gender' to start a conversation. Shut up...You kill enough babies and force others to do so enough tht you do not get to speak about child abuse or abuse of women or anyone else. There is no reason to believe or do anything you say as long as you are slaughtering babies in the name of 'Gender' your God...
Women and men are different, and should be allowed to split into their own groups. Forced inclusivity is toxic. This does not justify abuse, but you get what I mean.
As a slightly intimidating and untypicaltype man, I am weary when i come across unattended children. I haven't been to a larp thing, but I work in a shopping mall, so sometimes kids get lost, and I want to say "Hey, where are your parents?" or smth, but I realize that could be very suspicious, so I'm not really sure what to do. The kid and I usually just kinda look at each other not sure what to say because the kid is coming to an employee looking for help, and after like half a minute a coworker walks by who's a supervisor or a woman and they start the conversation. It's honestly pretty silly.
Unfortunately, the world seems to have grown so harsh, that a person can be terrified to offer help. If your employee handbook doesn't address how to handle this situation, it should. Maybe ask your manager how you should handle such a situation, if it arises. Larp should have it's own rules for handling situations in it's rulebook, charter, etc. If they do not, they should update to include such things as well.
Would like to try LARP, in my State at least. Be extremely cautious at things like this as it attracts people who are detached from reality, they may think it's real and sneak real weapons in. They may be sexual predators. I do a lot of American Civil War Reenacting, and I'm always vigilant. I'm also a Law Officer in my jurisdiction so I make sure I'm equipped to respond to crisis and crime. Don't ask why or how, figure it out Sherlock.
@@krimmins6765 It's not ironic, You have to man-up at some point and understand that your safety is YOUR responsibility. If you encounter a nutjob who can't decipher fantasy from reality and they mean you harm, well it's on you to protect yourself, and the vast majority of people are not only unequipped, but also spineless cowards who've never thought the day would come. I see awful things every-day in my career, and I am duty bound to protect those around me. I will continue to wear my firearm and no one has authority to take it from me.
You know what, I normally hold comments for people who say something stupid for later or more elaborated counterargument...But man, if you are seeing even half the things you claim, beating up a guy and sending him packing rather than letting that guy who is not supposed to be there and you have confirmation and know they shouldnt be there is the appropriate thing to do. Shun people you know should not let be a part of your events. There are some people with problems who are not great people but family or friends that someone tries to include and help, like the drug user rather instead. Or the guy who has been a thief before. Or something else of that nature where some might characterize their life and choices in a "bad spot. But drug dealers and pedophiles are not. And even thieves and drug users are responsible for their actions. You take the bad people, the drug dealers and pedophiles, and if you are not shunning them and throwing them out already, you have already, and however sad and terrible for me to say it, you have guaranteed at some point in time someone will get their hands on a child now at a LARP event. This is not cancel culture. This is not extreme. This is a matter of Justice and Protection. You know who the person really is and edging to be, they are already a 'problem', or more realistically what you would not say, a THREAT to children and others, you need to literally just beat them and send them running. The very least is kick them out. Accepting them i to your group or society for the sake of mercy is no mercy at all, but an Injustive and Evil that will hurt your society, your trust in each other, and at some point someone else. There is a lot of high risk and danger for nothing letting those people in. You know the threat, get rid of them. Somebody is just saying stuff or is unsure, then of course stop the slander and rumors. Or most importantly, if it is a suspicion by someone, ask why the person thinks so. And if there is evidence or reasons revealed, find more evidence and reasons, witnesses and testimony, confirm, and expel or kick the person out if they really are bad, are Evil and a Dangerous Threat to others in various ways. You do not need iron clad legal evidence to shun people. You do not need Man's permission of Law to be a pedophile and send them packing, because realistically people would rather praise you for that if you were not trying to compromise to preserve society, be courteous, and show mercy while a child is raped, frankly. You do not need police, you can figure out reasons and causes for why someone is suspected, confirm they are bad enough, and do away with them. And if not...try to make people shut up about the lies and slander until something real shows itself. But it is absolutely wrong and irresponsible of anyone, especially you big men who are on something resembling a battlefield for fighting and protecting something of value, those around you and who you love and care for, who should be Man enough to just put an end to it and stop playing around. I have known some questionable and wrong things pastors and churches have done to deal with pedophiles and trying to show grace and acceptance, at the risk of people who did not know what had happened. I was told this in confidence, and do not care. Nobody should hide or cover up and ignore these kinds of people. That is how they take over and ruin perhaps more than one person's life. They are guaranteed to effect you all in the end in fact just by harming one. P.S. we probably are that 'missing stare' whatever term you used in someone's view at some point of life is my guess, as a big hairy bearded guy who is eldest of ten and so used to taking care of children and always finding them a delight, remembering what is like as a kid enough to appreciate and respect their time in life and happiness even and how special it is to be a child and accept life and enjoy it in such a grand and beautiful time to live. People can forget what childhood is or means or just imagine things as stupid or kids are stupid or they were stupid as a kid instead of remembering some of the joy and love of every day when you are young. I have been told by family members that someone would mistake me for something else because of my appearance simply, and frankly should have clobbered them for the insult full of mirth. We are usual butt of jokes. But I often turn to smile and enjoy the sight of a family and their small children and the parents all walking by together. The Nature of Life and Humanity and their very Soul on display in its best moments, versus what you know to be the worst. I love my younger brothers and sisters, and enjoy seeing them play with their friends, as you definitely all enjoy the cute sweetness and tender beauty...in the real and best of ways we all know and mean...of young life enthused and joyous as our lives should be. So I understand a false accusation or bad assessment realistically. But there is a point of knowing where you are in fact just making excuses to do and deal with things Justly and safely for the Good of others. Step up and be a Man so this does not happen at LARP instead of making a video on its Evil within it. I often am the last to know or see or be told the whisper of what really is going on, so it takes more social men like you who compromise because they are social to step up right away and take care of what you hear and know instead of just playing the game.
While I was in high school I used to larp I was a drug user never sold but had fun parking an sword fighting. I Wanted to get back in to it using airsoft because that looks fun and I love shooting and what not. But drug use an what not after I got clean I kind of gave it up. Again I still want to get back in to it.
I have a situation I want to talk to you about, I haven't discussed it with anyone else in this elvel of detail tell me if you want to discuss it further
I'm always available to talk about stuff, email me at larpmix@gmail.com I only check it about once a week though, so I may not get back right away. Thanks.
@@LarpMix I replied, and apologize for its lengthiness. I feel its relatable to your discussions, hopefully any form of feedback would be appreciated ty.
Look into trying to play an NPC first, so you can meet other players without the pressure of playing a PC character. Don't be scared, but be aware and cautious, just like with anything else in life, that's all. Have fun!
Facebook, maybe google. Just have to look around and be patient. If there are any conventions for cosplay or anything like that, look for the people who are a little more rough or have more leather and metal then foam on their costumes, they may larp.
I’m going to set up a LARP that solves these issues and more in Ireland I’ll edit this to let those who care on the progress Coming up with first draft ideas 4 new rules( should I let people say I’m from Rivia my friend is from Helms deep(probably yeah)) Separating age groups what do u think don’t want any bad shit from a missing stair 🛡 Thx larp⚔️mix Just wrote a bit for the parents letting them know their little squires are safe courtesy of precautions I have set thinking that (to be historically accurate and safe) that you can larp whenever you want when 21 or older
these "issues" must be a American thing...here in Australia our LARP groups are VERY safe....because we don't allow anyone under 18 on the field under ANY circumstances
Raising the age to 18 would help to solve many issues, but much of the stuff I mention doesn't matter what age you are. And it's most certainly not an American only thing. You may have just not seen it, but now that you've seen my video, you may.
A larp I once enjoyed recently excluded a massive portion of its player by implementing its own vaccine mandate. Either the members, people who've played for upwards of a decade and invested thousands of dollars get the vaccine, or be permanently removed from the game. I don't play with them any more. So now I'm just another exile from "The Lands of Exile".
I started LARPing in the early *90s, the dawn of LARP and have lived and playrd in 4 different countries since then and not once, not ONCE have I ever heard of sexual abuse at a con. There are sickos everywhere. this is NOT however a LARP specific problem. When I was in college I heard about rape or two each semester including a friend of mine who was raped in minutes after leaving a college bar. Larp is in comparison to most other sub-cultures very kind and caring. Don't try to vilify it.
Nah man, pedophiles are everywhere. But in the US especially we are very vigilant about trafficking and always warn children against strangers on a regular basis. We are a bit paranoid about this stuff but the alternative is far worse.
@@mitchellslate1249 uh what I live in Germany How tf does legal prostitution make human trafficking or slavery? The police will find out at some point cause in Germany You can snitch to the police
I never thought about this. Holy fuck. Tell me you don’t seriously think a whole bunch of sex-offenders wouldn’t be making regular pilgrimage to these LARP events?!?
I remember a time where I went to a Fantasy Larp I was a 13 boy and It was around my 3rd time going. I ended up seeing a guy around 6' 4" in full metal armor, and he looked terrifying. He approached me and had a sit down with me similar to this video telling me how I can stay safe and watch out for others. Turns out the guy was making sure to look as intimidating as possible and he watched over all the younger players making sure they had fun and stayed safe. There were a couple of times where he would drag other men out of the Inn/Taverns and lock them outside if he saw the grooming younger players. I'm 17 and 6' tall now and now both of us do the same thing to help make players stay safe. Best guy iv'e ever met
It's always good to have people aware of this stuff, even if just casually, as long as they don't abuse their power either, and it's always good to have the backing or approval of the game runners just in case an issue arises. But not all games have people that watch out for others, and that's why it's important for folks to know about this stuff, because many people are oblivious the the lengths predators of all kinds will go to.
That’s so cool!! You guys are really awesome dudes for doing that!!
wholesome!
He sounds awesome
LarpMix predators are everywhere
told my dad I wanted to LARP. He was like no. I said, "Why?" and he was like, "You didn't ask me to join the fun wtf."
Yeah it makes sense
It’s better that way.
I remember when I was just barely 18 I started larping as an NPC. There were too 16/15 year old girls who loved to larp and also happened to be Mormon.
In this larp you just asked “do you consent to physical roleplay” And it was a yes or no, without saying what the physical roleplay was.
We were playing monsters and attacking the PC cabins when the leader of the same larp from another state asked to do a physical rp. I said yes, assuming it was going to be something safe.
This 6’ 40 year old man grabbed my arm and pulled me into the cabin into an intimidating hug. I was an 18 year old girl who didn’t feel like it was the best thing but just felt like it was part of the game.
Later I mentioned it to the other girls and it turns out he did that to them too. All the other npcs were shocked because there’s a rule that you can’t do physical roleplay during a battle. Yet nobody mentioned it to us.
After a few hours of feeling uncomfortable about it I pulled aside a safety Marshall of larp and said something. They then pulled aside the leader of the larp and had me repeat it.
Because I mentioned it, they changed the physical roleplay negotiations entirely within a matter of two months to a much safer and respectful system.
If you see something. Say something. And hey don’t forget to ask what someone wants to do with a physical rp.
It's a shame that had to happen, but at least it was called out and the organizers changed things quickly.
@@LarpMix The thing is, it didn't "have" to happen. This sort of thing should be explicitly explained in the "tutorial" pre-session. The fact that nobody thought about this possibility, beforehand, somebody was being careless. But, yea, it is good to see it get called out and repaired. 2 months though... smh
Should've had a walk of shame and a public execution for the letch...
THEY ASK IF YOU WANT PHYSICAL ROLEPLAY?? I didn't even get the option for a yes or no, I was 13 when some creep drug me away from my family and wouldn't let me go, he only let me go when I made a scene. This was at a Ren Faire.
@@AdriftInTheWatersGorge This is a reason I'm not a fan of outsiders dressing in costume at Ren Faires also. I get that for many, that's a huge fun part of the experience, but that person may not have even been involved in the faire. Also, why the heck is some dude putting hands on you at any age, let alone as a minor. Sounds like a horrible experience and I'm sorry that happened to you. I personally haven't been to a Ren Faire in about 20 years because I saw other similar things occurring at one I worked at.
I've been larping for 7 years now and I've just become a mum. I've been thinking about how I will be approaching larp with my son, and I really appreciate this video. Thank you.
Since you've been playing for a while, you may already have seen some of this. Make sure you're at a good game and just be there. I think being aware of these things and making sure they are also aware is key.
Our Adventuring Party I just became a mom too and you just made me realize I can larp with my daughter and now I’m super excited! 😁
I've been Larping for 28 years now and I have to echo what Max says here. I would also add a buddy system if the parent can't/won't attend. Setting hard boundaries like you can't go to the bathroom alone or be alone in a room alone with someone other then your buddy.
Great video Max
Thanks for putting this up.
Some games I attend are adopting the way the scouts do things now, which is not just the buddy system, but having 3 people at all times. I think this stuff ran unchecked for a long time, but now that it's getting called out a lot more, change is starting to happen.
@@mystictony0260 that's a good question. I guess if you have to ask then you already know the answer. If you just aren't sure and your gut is telling you something is off about your buddy then pick another buddy. You obviously don't feel safe with this person so you should find someone else that does make you feel comfortable and safe.
But also safety in numbers. Get more then one buddy to hang with. That way your a hard target to prey on.
All the larps I have been a part of require a guardian for anyone under 18 years old, a waver signed and complete knowledge of the rules for combat and basic etiquette before playing the game.
@@Artst2010 That's not true of all games though, and many allow for these guardians to just be other players 18 and up, who pay no attention to the person once they are past the entry table... On paper it seems legit, but in practice, is not. Some games are on point with this, but I think most are not.
@@LarpMix as I said...the larps I have personally attended. I have no doubt that not all larps are like that.
The first larp I went to there was not an age requirement that I am aware and I witnessed some uncomfortable occurances.
The fantasy larp I attend required 18+ or a legal guardian who is 18+ both must sign a waiver but how strongly this rule is enforced I am not sure.
I also attend a fantasy larp in Canada and the age requirement is 18 and over or the person must be accompanied by a legal adult no exceptions. ID is required to be available if asked for at all times.
Thank you for making this, I started larping at 14 and I went into it managing to make friends with this guy in his 30's. Now I had gone into this being somewhat cautious but I made friends with him and got decently close and pretty much spent all my time at the events I attended with him. At the time I was in a pretty crappy and vulnerable situation where I had no supportive adults in my life and he became one of the few people that gave me support. One year after being friends with him I find out that he can't go to our larp event anymore (he doesn't tell us why specifically but our group was aware that he had money troubles and we assumed that) and we as a group were upset but we go to the event anyways and I find out this guy had sexually harrassed a person I was friends with when they were 16 and had sexually harrassed multiple other people. When I look back through our conversations (both in person and online) I realised how he had potentially groomed me this entire time. Needless to say it took a long time to get over and even after taking a massive break from larping for exams I still struggled to play unaffected by it, thankfully it's better now but I honestly wished I had a video like this to watch when I started larping.
Thank you for sharing this. Like I said, I've seen this personally over the years and this is the type of stuff that doesn't get mentioned and can be easily overlooked and not understood what is actually occurring.
Unrelated to the topic but we have the same last name
Thank you for making this video. I'm rather new to LARP, and I haven't gone to a LARP yet. I'm 14 and waiting to go to an event when I'm older, less vulnerable.
starry galaxies
Just between you and me, me too
Same here!! I haven’t been to a larp ever but if I do I think I’d wanna bring my mum or dad since my little bro is to young and my sister wouldn’t be down for it haha
I’m a little younger than you, and I haven’t been to a LARP either yet. I’m planning to go when I’m older though with my older siblings or my cousin or something. I just found out about LARP and thought it was 100% safe. I saw this video and got scared. When you go in the future, stay safe and bring someone with you.
"any askers?"
@@garlicnaut2709 ye
I’m a short teenage girl so I go with my 30 year old brother
I know a lot of my friends or other people think it’s just not as fun to go with someone older but I like it a lot. He is huge ( very tall and bulky) so we make a comedic duo me being short and him being very nice and mellow while I’m Serious
As long as you choose the right adult to go with you can have some real fun
So It’s really not worth the risk of going alone and having something happen when you can have just as much fun going with someone that help to insure safety it also makes for a good escape goat if there is something you DO NOT want to do but you don’t want to be THAT person you can just be like oh my brother needs me sorry and book it or I give him a look and he continues with a smooth rescue lol
It's good to have someone you trust with you but also stand up for yourself. Being pressured into anything is not acceptable. Yes, I have been in those situations.
Buddy system is a great
Stay safe everyone
I'm rather knew to the LARP world and have been wanting to share the experience with my family - there's a lot to unpack and consider first and I appreciate this video. Stay safe all, keep up the great work Maxx and HAVE FUN!
ChrisDeston821 this comment is only a month old, is leaping still alive? If so, where?
@@username-pr3zx UK still has a thriving scene, I know of at least 3 big family friendly producers :)
I go to Lorien Trust events
Will be using some of this intormation in rewrite code of conduct section of Ember Newfoundlands LARP Rule section. Thank you for bringing the details to light, thank you .
I was always told by larpers that I shouldn’t start larping until I’m 17 so to hear that kids as young as 8 do it is both surprising and alarming at the same time
Many larps are different and structured in different ways and run in different ways, so it's always difficult to just blanket rule stuff in the worldwide arena of larp. What is most important, is that you are there with someone trusted by "YOU". You are ultimately the best judge of who you can trust, but certainly consider the advice of others you trust, if they are critical of someone/thing. You may never encounter anything I mention in this video, and many do not. But now you will be aware if you ever see it happen. I hope many enjoyable experiences for you, when you do go.
@@LarpMix Excellently well said. 👍🏽
This is some serious subject that must be brought to attention waaaay more often.
I've been to an event in which girls have been repeatedly molested by a GM under the false pretences of RP (one girl was a priestess to a goddess of love and lust, another one was under a charm spell...)
When one of the girls broke out in tears in our OOG camp, things escalated quickly and the guy risked getting some serious lynching.
What's truly worrying, though, is how his closest friends came to HIS aid, marking both girls as liars.
Meh, the campaign got disbanded a couple of months later due to the civil war the whole thing caused.
TLDR: LARP much like any other hobby brings in all sorts of people and requires as much attention as any other group activity. No more just because there are weird people, no less just because it's a "game". Pay attention to your kids - and they should be as fine as you can hope to raise them.
I know this isn't a popular subject, but good on you for saying what needs to be said. And honestly, we should always be hypervigilent in looking out for our kids everywhere (trafficking is real), but especially in an overnight, off in the woods, mostly adult setting. I love LARPing, but as a mom of five, I agree with your concerns as well. Thanks for using your voice to make LARPing a better experience for everyone.🙂
I was definitely idealizing LARP as an amazing place I could feel safe and as a tool to potentially help heal old wounds through character building because of things other LARPers/TH-camrs have said online. Not anymore... Thank you so much for making this video! It really brought me back to reality and made me realize I am just as vulnerable there as anywhere else and I need to have my wits about me and probably should refrain from going alone as I had originally planned to.
The answer for almost all larp questions is, it depends. There are many really well thought out, friendly larps run by caring people who have really done their homework. But those are not the majority. You could go alone and be just fine, meet great people and never even see anything I mention in this video. However, many do paint larp as an accepting community of amazing people and as much as I wish that were true across the board, as you stated, it's basically the same as anything else involving groups of people. But please do still try it, but it's always more fun if you can get a friend or two to join in with you. Best of luck and I hope you have positive experiences!
LarpMix I still do really want to join in! There is a LARP where I live (Connecticut in case you have any recommendations) that seems pretty good called Mythical Journeys but there isn’t much out there on it outside their limited own stuff. I found out about them through a booth they had set up at my local Ren Fair which I feel like helps bring up their credibility. I’m considering contacting the creators directly to get a better feel and hopefully get an idea about documenting the whole thing and maybe getting some interviews which I think would be a lot of fun.
Not familiar with anything up that way, but it sounds like a good idea to reach out them beforehand with any questions. Hope it all works out. I'd suggest trying google and FB to maybe try to find more groups, many are small and elusive. The main larp I attend might as well not exist, it's all word of mouth and basically no advertising. They are out there and usually once you attend one, you can ask about others, and find out what else is in the area.
@@NatyRocke I used to go to mythical journeys when I was stationed in CT, it is a pretty good game, and Npc ing if free
@@NatyRocke That was three years ago. I am just now finding out about LARP stuff (voluntering as videographer at a preHistoric Museum, but that is not LARP yet). Just wondering - did you get to go? Or was everything down cuz of Corona at your place too?
You have to treat the LARP like a wilderness, we go to the park but learn to avoid the animals, we go to the beach but avoid the jellyfish. You have to be aware of safety always. it's important to stay close with those who you know and slowly open up to others. Share enough of yourself to socialize but be aware they are still strangers. Eventually you will know who you can be comfortable with without putting too much of yourself out there.
I was actually thinking about making a video really similar to this one based on my own LARP experiences, and was curious if anyone in the community had actually been talking about these heavy topics (within the context of LARP specifically) publicly, which is how I came across your video. Thank you for sharing, and putting together a presentation. It's not fun or easy to talk about, but if we want to create a safer community, we absolutely need to be having these discussions.
All I hear is how great and welcoming of a community larps are, and for the most part it is true. However, like many hobbies, there is a serious dark side as well, which is almost never mentioned, and certainly not in public. I just want people to be aware and be careful, because it can happen anywhere at any time. I'm glad you found this video.
Trust me, I've was that kid in places and situations I should not have been, be involved, be aware and be careful. Don't assume evil based on rumour (the bane of all sanity), but keep an eye and ear open.
Absolutely outstanding video, sir. Thank you for taking the time to address this ever present and uncomfortable topic in such a clear and concise way.
I'm thinking about going to a LARP when I'm over 18, I don't have any friends that would be interested at the moment and my parents arent interested either,
does anyone have advice for larping safely if you have nobody to go with?
Find out which larp you plan to attend. If it's a local one, get on their FB group, or whatever they have. Try to meet some folks ahead of time and build relationships online with them. If they have non-game events, try to check those out. But be careful, when I say creeps are everywhere, I mean everywhere and it's not always opposite sexes. As I mentioned, I have seen a fair amount of non-male creepers at game. And sometimes they'll use that as a tactic also. (People are really messed up) Just be aware, be smart and don't fall into any of the stuff I mention in this video. Hopefully you'll get in with a good group or a few folks you can have fun with. But the moment there is an issue, weigh the options. I would say, you should never fall in love with a larp. Because you could end up in toxic relationship with it. And sometimes it is harder to walk away from a group/larp then you'd think. I'm being very negative in this response, but I just want everyone to be educated and open-eyed when approaching this hobby. As an side note, keep talking to friends, or even your parents about it, maybe you can eventually get them convinced to check it out.
The most dangerous LARPs are listed here in order: is 1. My Little Pony LARPs/Brony meet ups have the highest density of sex offenders and mentally ill people 2. Any animated children's show (Barney is safe, no molestations or drugs in that fandom generally. Good people) 3. Any animated show intended for adults 4. Lord of the rings 5. Any larp with elves 6. Fantasy without elves 7. science fiction 8. historic war reenactment. Fortnite gamer events of any kind if a groomer hotspot as well.
I love how you just say “Lord of the Rings” and move on lol
Great message, save the children!
Thank you for the information. I will share this video to my family, and help protect the younger group by doing so. I appreciate your concern, and hope you have a good day.
I’ve always been curious of larping and for this video, it was very helpful my friend
Thank you for this video. I have larped since 08 and I think only really in the last 5 years when going to huge systems how much there is bad stuff going on as well as good things. It was never intentionally I looked away just didn't really stop and hear the stories because I was too focused on the fun I had. But I have in the last 5 years noticed what does happen and I have found myself trying to be responsible as an adult and a human being but sometimes it is very much person in the middle with no clue and only hearing tales. Its easy not to see things. But its far more important to understand when something is wrong and prevent it before it happens. I am not a parent but I found this video very informative and helpful for things to be aware of.
how did you start larping? I don't know anyone who would or any groups in my area
@@lilliekat1103 which country are you in. LARP's tend to have different genres and groups. The best way is to look in your country for a nearby larp group. Use google to find the system and then facebook when you find a system. People will be eager to help. Dont worry about looking silly, just go and have fun. Grab your ticket and a costume. Lots of vendors over the internet. I live in the UK and started at an event called herofest in south wales. Nice little system back then it was literally one hit per limb system back then. then got into others seeing them over the internet. each time i went to a new system it was an adventure.
If you are UK feel free to contact me on my youtube and i will happily give more info.
@@leithafae I am in the US, but I've looked online and I cannot find anything for my state
@@lilliekat1103 ok i am from uk. so i dont know how it works in the states but there are quite a few games. which state and i will ask on fb
@@leithafae new york
I like how you remind everyone that LARP Is not immune to anything that happens anywhere else.
It's easy to get caught up in places that seem and feel like they are safe spaces. But they are just like anywhere else and we can't forget that.
very important video, i feel like everyone i know who is into larp knows these kind of stories. good job
And that's very disheartening. There is absolutely a presence, but sometimes if you don't know what your looking for, it's easy to miss.
Thank you very much for this vid. I am a under 18 and i will be in my first larp soon.
Even tho i heard all this, it wont stop me from trying to larp.
Anyway, thank you :D
Thank you for giving a serious discussion on this topic. I hate how abuser is thrown around in the larp community for every little tiny reason, but you talked about actual possible abusers. You’re not screeching about “racist” people wearing “black face” for trying to play a dark elf, but you talked about real abuse and bullying which is good. And also thank you for addressing that this abuse can happen in any environment not just Larp. People act like larp is worse and more infested than every other community which makes no sense
Omg yes, so much this!
The way some words get misappropriated makes them lose their real (and serious!) meaning, and that's so frustrating. People are people, and there are good and bad people everywhere, but I hate when human issues are pushed onto mythical characters. 🤦🏾♀️
Thanks for making this video, its not a pretty topic, but I'm glad someone talked about it. If I ever need to bring this up to someone, I can link them here.
This same thing applies to Airsoft as well.
i think kids as young as 8 should b able to attend however i think if they are younger than 18 they should be with a guardian and not leave their sight
The way you worded 1:15 is amazing. Kudos 🥂
Great video max, I like seeing you tackling more serious topics in larp, you didn’t strike me as the type of guy who could articulate this kind of thing, Seems I was wrong XD
bro i learned so much thank you ill never lightining bolt the same way ever again
I can’t believe people actually disliked
Awesome job as always! Happy holidays my guy!
So, my wife and I have been LARPing off and on for about ten years now. Our first date was a LARP and I have to say, I've never experienced anything like you're describing here. We were listening to it and looking at each other from across the room, like 'What the hell?' I've never heard of a LARP that allows anyone under the age of sixteen and if they they do, they always have to have a guardian present at all times. We're over here wondering exactly which LARPs you're talking about. Also...if these 'missing stair' people are all generally known, why the hell doesn't someone do something about them like, you know, ban them from games?
There's 100's of larps, maybe more in the U.S. alone. Many allow under 18, under 16 and even lower. Generally they require parental supervision or someone else to be with them at all times, but how well that is enforced is anyone's guess. And as to the missing stair thing, it's like I say in the video, it's mostly observation and accusation. Until they actually do something or something is made evident, like being on a watch list or having warrants or something, then what can you do? I'm not saying it's right, but these people exist everywhere in life. Not sure where you play at, but maybe you're at a good game, they do exist. If not, maybe you just never noticed before...
backing this, ive NEVER seen LARPS like this ever. Ive been in many different ones in the US and this must be more of a isolated thing. Most of the ones ive been in theres a serious underage rule that doesnt allow them to even start playing unless theres a gaurdian or parent there. Also, some of the ones that are 3 day weekends WONT allow children at all. The missing stair thing is new to me? Ive never heard anything like that. It sounds odd. If the staff and players all know and have a complaint about it they'll, if they have common sense usually just kick them out. But, who knows maybe these groups hes talking about are smaller and weirder ones. Lastly, the whole thing about bullying and stuff, i have NEVER encountered something like that. If its a good and normal LARP group then people are pretty welcoming and friendly. Maybe i just havent found a group like that and if i ever do i know i wont be dumb enough to stay in it.
This is probably dumb coming from someone who hasn't LARPed (I want to, but still want to be informed before going into my first event, I'm not young but being informed is key). I have been watching his videos and he mentions several times about high dollar LARP events; maybe it's in the more expensive groups? Aside from that, a lot of stuff changes over time, rules & regulations alike. Also, there are a lot of local LARP groups and just because yours has never seen it, doesn't mean others haven't. I am sure some LARP groups/events might have a less strict age restriction. He hints that you are starting to see more kids show up, which I agree is dumb. He also mentions the ones doing it might try and groom them into thinking it's normal and OK. It's never OK, especially towards a child/teen. What everyone should take away from this is: Be aware and vigilant, don't ignore signs, always go in groups/couples and never go alone.
@@dojjin1334 ive been to higher end ones and usually you wont see any children or anything. The most ive gotten was drunken dudes say dumb things but usually the community will shut it down quickly.
I mean usually we just Ban or heavily watch these people
Remember being 15/16 and being able to get absolutely blackout drunk with no repercussions. I was also doing this outside of larp but the level of ease I could get access to alcohol at larp events was defo something that kept me coming back. Now I’m a lot older and keep an eye out for the same thing happening to other young kids. Luckily I was fairly smart and managed to avoid anything really bad happening to me but there were some super close calls. Keep an eye on the younger members of your group. Especially at fest larps.
I have definitely witnessed this as well at large events/festivals as a teenager.
I’m eleven and I really want to do larp but I’ll definitely watch out if I do one
Hey bud, id suggest bringing your parents for that but you'll probably have a great time
Try a tabletop rpg first, though, so you can get comfortable with roleplay and hp management. Video games are great but roleplay irl is waaaay different than predetermined npc interactions
@@alexzander7386 thanks dude and i finally turned 12
@@Hello-om4qh oh hey youre just a year older than me!
Plastic baseball bat lightsaber/sword fights and rubber band pistol/wand spell fights Harry Potter style.
Also watch Harry Potter and play D&D.
Honestly, if you played He-man or acted out some cartoon show around five to nine years old ... you have already Larp with your friends.
Hey thank you so much for making this video I am been talking to my mom about doing larp and going to this and now I know what I need to be a where of
This kind of reminds me of an airsoft game I played. There was a kid I taged at the end of a game. He turned around and shot at me after the game. It was single hit illumination game so I knew he took it personal. I walked up to him, put my hand on his shoulder and calmly told him "that's not what this is, that's not what we do here, it's just a game"
I've seen/heard of this kinda stuff happening at SCA events but not a whole lot in my kingdom but i can definitely see how this kinda stuff can happen. Its a real shame.
I’m 16 now and reallly wanna Larp. On the discord account and Facebook the community are so wonderful to me. Still I need to be smart cause who knows really if everyone is nice as they are online in real life
I’m 12 now and I just started larking I will be sure to show my mom this video but I always go with my D&D party so I think I will be fine
Because there is five of us including me
Show this video to your parents, your group of friends aren’t enough. None of you aren’t adults yet
@@svan4748 k thx
I feel like most of these things can just be avoided by good parenting. Just like with any other activity, the closest I can think of would be a festival.
Don't let your kids go alone, set a minimum age they can go with their own friends, like 16. If they're younger you stay with them. NEVER let them go alone, I don't even understand how that's not common knowledge?
Man I was looking forward because I found a group 20 min away, now I'm not so much turned away but it such a shame that even places that are meant to be escapes are just not always necessarily the safest
It's true. Just like anything else, just be aware and know when something isn't right. That's all. Larps can get tightly knit over time and much is overlooked or downplayed, but painfully obvious to new people seeing it with fresh eyes.
What do you think the minimal age for larp is im 12 and have always wanted to go
Honestly, I'd say 16 with a chaperone of some kind, but probably 18. If I were to run a game, I'd have a specific youth guided session, or just have it 18 and up for legality issues. There are games you can attend at 12, but you'll almost certainly have to have a parent. Look into it and be safe, it can be a lot of fun!
@@LarpMix ok thank you I’ll probably do one when I get a bit older!
I was treated as a missing stair. I was a larp player from a different game going into a new one. I didn't know the new game, but everyone avoided me when I'd ask anything. I'd try asking the new player helpers but they didn't want to help because they were there to hang out with their friends. It ended up being super toxic because it was very 'us vs them' and if you weren't part of the friend group, you weren't welcome at the larp. It fucking sucked. They started making rumours about new players, so they'd eventually drive away anyone they didn't like; they had the owners of the larp in their pocket.
That sounds more like cliques, bullying and elitism probably. I've seen new players driven out of games for all kinds of reasons like being mentally handicapped, poor, trans, not attractive and even being too attractive. When it comes to these types of toxic people, there is nothing that will stop them, they will find something to latch on to and use it. Everyone should be able to play and I know about these stories because I've always been like the sort of laid back guy that will walk around with anyone, no matter what. The important thing is to recognize behavior like this quickly and if the operators of the game won't fix it, then move on to another game, there is no point in staying. In time, it'll fold and the players will kill their own game.
@@LarpMix its annoying because I'm in an area where the aren't other larp games. Im two hours from that game, the next closest is six hours away. I'm literally two hours away from the main city of this province. There is just nothing else going :/
That is rough. I know folks who drive 4 hours to attend certain games though. Maybe try starting your own small game? If not, I'd say just don't larp for now. It's not worth going through those experiences.
@@LarpMix I don't get the choice. Pretty much anyone the group doesn't like gets permanently banned, no appeal :/ its really demoralizing
@@NemFX Curious but which Province? I live in Canada and there is only one larp group near me but even then, it's a little too far for a city person with no car.
Many groups /warbands within larp are very insular making it very hard to join into friend groups as they don't really want to get to know new people EVEN if they may have useful outside of larp skills ( i was turned away from groups even though i am a real life blacksmith and can sew). There are bands of People who just want others to f**k off even if they can help them
I have seen this quite a bit as well.
The only time you should bring your children that aren’t teenagers to a larp game/event is if there a specific area that’s for children only (ie. child friendly activities/games)
so what you're saying basically is dont go outside cos people are weird.
So I'm a 15 yr old boy and after the lockdown two older friends of mine are taking me to my first larp session.
Btw I live in the Netherlands
Have a great time!
Not a larper myself, but I was waiting for him to say something about people who gate the community with a toxic sense of ownership and “I’m more serious than you”ship, and instead his first point is about “known peadophiles”. That’s not cool, and the casualness regarding their existence is terrible. That absolutely is not ok and should not be happening.
I’m seeing positive stories in the chat about circumstances where bad things happened but rules got changed and seemingly all is good now... but that’s not ok to begin with, and it’s uncomfortable hearing that this is a prevalent thing in LARPing. Y’all should be free to do what you find fun without sexual deviants tainting it in the first place
I wanna make a huge set of armor like in black and have a helmet that emites mist from it that would be sick XD
Hey so I want to larp and I don’t know what age I should start because I fell like I am to young. So I was wondering if I should sign up for larping for a group under 13. So what do you think I should.
You'll have to find a group that allows under 18, but if you do, be sure to have friends you trust with you. See if you can bring a parent or older sibling along... I know that may not always be the coolest thing to do, but they'll have your best interests in mind if they come along. If not, wait until you're comfortable, don't do any overnight stays. But always remember the stuff I said in this video. Larp can be a lot of fun and I hope you love it when you go and have only positive experiences.
I think there should be an adult larp game or games and games that are family friendly. But idk, i am just a curious person to see what the larp thing is about and i am starting to like it. But i agree there can be bad people everywhere in this community that children and adults should be aware.
It's mostly about awareness. I have seen child predators at larp and everytime, they were discovered and removed. But I see many things I discuss in this video happening to adults as well. It's important for everyone to just be aware and if something doesn't seem right, question it and take appropriate action when needed.
i went to Mediveal grp and after fighter practice turned in to orgys men and women at the event. I was caught off guard that was 76 it was what the culture was like back then
Good video keep up the good work.
scout on!
Thank you
I just wanted to mention another kind of grooming which happens that is less associated with pedophiles and more associated with gendered violence. Often an older person (usually a man) will mentor young/ inexperienced boys and male teenagers while acclimatizing them to misogynistic behaviors (talking about women's bodies in a sexual/ derogatory way, using sexist/ exclusionary language/ instilling beliefs in stereotypes about women as less competent/ encouraging them to view women not as friends but as potential conquests/ telling them that women habitually lie about sexual assault or are 'crazy'). It then escalates to targeting specific women or girls in the group to slander with stories that paint them as manipulative, vindictive liars who create stories about being victimized for attention. This process can go on for years, and often has several leaders grooming young men and boys to accept their sexism as normal, and also creating false experiences that make the younger members think what they say is true. An example of this is if a young man gets in a neutral conflict with a women the abuser who is grooming him as an ally will say things like "she's gonna accuse you of harassing her, she's telling people you're a perv behind your back, she's making up the conflict to mess with you, she's addicted to attention," etc. The conclusion of this is that the person grooming the group will go on to sexually assault a women or girl, and then call upon the young men they've been grooming for years to support them in pressuring the girl to remain silent and leave the group, or to convince other members that she is unreliable, based on the years of false evidence they've been presented with. This is obviously only one of many kinds of grooming, but it is very common in male dominated spaces that have a tradition of mentoring, and has traumatizing effects on both the woman who was harmed and the minors who stood up for the abuser and only realise years later what they had actually done. Parents who notice their teenage sons are suddenly using sexist language that they never used before or suddenly adopting beliefs that are against all the values they've been taught should be aware that their son may be being groomed by an abuser. This is not to say that men don't also experience violence at the hands of men or women. Everyone is vulnerable. I just want to bring it up because this specific kind of "old boys club" is so baked into our culture that people may not even notice what is happening-- I think it's fair to say we've all been groomed by centuries of patriarchy (men and women both) and find sexism of this sort so common it can be difficult to remember that sexist behaviors and ideas are not normal or healthy, and that they are pretty much always passed to the younger generations by older more powerful people who have a strong incentive to normalise them in order to continue to benefit from the power discrepancy in their community.
And you are just a sexist feminist. Shut up...there are inappropriate guys and then there are people who refer to 'gender' to start a conversation. Shut up...You kill enough babies and force others to do so enough tht you do not get to speak about child abuse or abuse of women or anyone else. There is no reason to believe or do anything you say as long as you are slaughtering babies in the name of 'Gender' your God...
@@mitchellslate1249 Why are you watching this video? You sound like part of the problem
Women and men are different, and should be allowed to split into their own groups. Forced inclusivity is toxic.
This does not justify abuse, but you get what I mean.
As a slightly intimidating and untypicaltype man, I am weary when i come across unattended children. I haven't been to a larp thing, but I work in a shopping mall, so sometimes kids get lost, and I want to say "Hey, where are your parents?" or smth, but I realize that could be very suspicious, so I'm not really sure what to do. The kid and I usually just kinda look at each other not sure what to say because the kid is coming to an employee looking for help, and after like half a minute a coworker walks by who's a supervisor or a woman and they start the conversation. It's honestly pretty silly.
Unfortunately, the world seems to have grown so harsh, that a person can be terrified to offer help. If your employee handbook doesn't address how to handle this situation, it should. Maybe ask your manager how you should handle such a situation, if it arises. Larp should have it's own rules for handling situations in it's rulebook, charter, etc. If they do not, they should update to include such things as well.
8:46 damn. LARP go hard
Would like to try LARP, in my State at least. Be extremely cautious at things like this as it attracts people who are detached from reality, they may think it's real and sneak real weapons in. They may be sexual predators. I do a lot of American Civil War Reenacting, and I'm always vigilant. I'm also a Law Officer in my jurisdiction so I make sure I'm equipped to respond to crisis and crime. Don't ask why or how, figure it out Sherlock.
Lol so people might sneak real weapons in so your idea is to do the same, no insult, just I find it ironic.
@@krimmins6765 It's not ironic, You have to man-up at some point and understand that your safety is YOUR responsibility. If you encounter a nutjob who can't decipher fantasy from reality and they mean you harm, well it's on you to protect yourself, and the vast majority of people are not only unequipped, but also spineless cowards who've never thought the day would come. I see awful things every-day in my career, and I am duty bound to protect those around me. I will continue to wear my firearm and no one has authority to take it from me.
@@MommaRed1862something that all who carry should enjoy.
i love larping
You know what, I normally hold comments for people who say something stupid for later or more elaborated counterargument...But man, if you are seeing even half the things you claim, beating up a guy and sending him packing rather than letting that guy who is not supposed to be there and you have confirmation and know they shouldnt be there is the appropriate thing to do. Shun people you know should not let be a part of your events.
There are some people with problems who are not great people but family or friends that someone tries to include and help, like the drug user rather instead. Or the guy who has been a thief before. Or something else of that nature where some might characterize their life and choices in a "bad spot.
But drug dealers and pedophiles are not. And even thieves and drug users are responsible for their actions. You take the bad people, the drug dealers and pedophiles, and if you are not shunning them and throwing them out already, you have already, and however sad and terrible for me to say it, you have guaranteed at some point in time someone will get their hands on a child now at a LARP event.
This is not cancel culture. This is not extreme. This is a matter of Justice and Protection. You know who the person really is and edging to be, they are already a 'problem', or more realistically what you would not say, a THREAT to children and others, you need to literally just beat them and send them running. The very least is kick them out. Accepting them i to your group or society for the sake of mercy is no mercy at all, but an Injustive and Evil that will hurt your society, your trust in each other, and at some point someone else. There is a lot of high risk and danger for nothing letting those people in. You know the threat, get rid of them. Somebody is just saying stuff or is unsure, then of course stop the slander and rumors. Or most importantly, if it is a suspicion by someone, ask why the person thinks so. And if there is evidence or reasons revealed, find more evidence and reasons, witnesses and testimony, confirm, and expel or kick the person out if they really are bad, are Evil and a Dangerous Threat to others in various ways.
You do not need iron clad legal evidence to shun people. You do not need Man's permission of Law to be a pedophile and send them packing, because realistically people would rather praise you for that if you were not trying to compromise to preserve society, be courteous, and show mercy while a child is raped, frankly. You do not need police, you can figure out reasons and causes for why someone is suspected, confirm they are bad enough, and do away with them. And if not...try to make people shut up about the lies and slander until something real shows itself.
But it is absolutely wrong and irresponsible of anyone, especially you big men who are on something resembling a battlefield for fighting and protecting something of value, those around you and who you love and care for, who should be Man enough to just put an end to it and stop playing around. I have known some questionable and wrong things pastors and churches have done to deal with pedophiles and trying to show grace and acceptance, at the risk of people who did not know what had happened. I was told this in confidence, and do not care. Nobody should hide or cover up and ignore these kinds of people. That is how they take over and ruin perhaps more than one person's life. They are guaranteed to effect you all in the end in fact just by harming one.
P.S. we probably are that 'missing stare' whatever term you used in someone's view at some point of life is my guess, as a big hairy bearded guy who is eldest of ten and so used to taking care of children and always finding them a delight, remembering what is like as a kid enough to appreciate and respect their time in life and happiness even and how special it is to be a child and accept life and enjoy it in such a grand and beautiful time to live. People can forget what childhood is or means or just imagine things as stupid or kids are stupid or they were stupid as a kid instead of remembering some of the joy and love of every day when you are young. I have been told by family members that someone would mistake me for something else because of my appearance simply, and frankly should have clobbered them for the insult full of mirth. We are usual butt of jokes. But I often turn to smile and enjoy the sight of a family and their small children and the parents all walking by together. The Nature of Life and Humanity and their very Soul on display in its best moments, versus what you know to be the worst. I love my younger brothers and sisters, and enjoy seeing them play with their friends, as you definitely all enjoy the cute sweetness and tender beauty...in the real and best of ways we all know and mean...of young life enthused and joyous as our lives should be. So I understand a false accusation or bad assessment realistically. But there is a point of knowing where you are in fact just making excuses to do and deal with things Justly and safely for the Good of others. Step up and be a Man so this does not happen at LARP instead of making a video on its Evil within it. I often am the last to know or see or be told the whisper of what really is going on, so it takes more social men like you who compromise because they are social to step up right away and take care of what you hear and know instead of just playing the game.
While I was in high school I used to larp I was a drug user never sold but had fun parking an sword fighting. I Wanted to get back in to it using airsoft because that looks fun and I love shooting and what not. But drug use an what not after I got clean I kind of gave it up. Again I still want to get back in to it.
Games are everywhere, never too late to join back in.
@@LarpMix yeah I'm looking in to it mabey start slow get back in to sword play first but my. Swords I'm not sure if they are legal I'll have to check
@@bretlemieux2489 Sorry I know this is a late reply but just in case you should check out HEMA / Buhurt if you're aiming to play with metal weapons
@@aaronrubin1591 it’s never late I’m a night owl an function on 4 hours of sleep
I have a situation I want to talk to you about, I haven't discussed it with anyone else in this elvel of detail tell me if you want to discuss it further
I'm always available to talk about stuff, email me at larpmix@gmail.com I only check it about once a week though, so I may not get back right away. Thanks.
@@LarpMix I replied, and apologize for its lengthiness. I feel its relatable to your discussions, hopefully any form of feedback would be appreciated ty.
I want to start out, but I dont have anyone to go with or know any groups. help?
Look into trying to play an NPC first, so you can meet other players without the pressure of playing a PC character. Don't be scared, but be aware and cautious, just like with anything else in life, that's all. Have fun!
@@LarpMix thank you, but there are no larp groups in my area
There are groups almost anywhere, sometimes you do have to drive a bit though, if you are able to. If not, you can always start a small one yourself.
@@LarpMix thank you, how do i find people?
Facebook, maybe google. Just have to look around and be patient. If there are any conventions for cosplay or anything like that, look for the people who are a little more rough or have more leather and metal then foam on their costumes, they may larp.
My larp character is from the future .. so ..... cx
I’m going to set up a LARP that solves these issues and more in Ireland I’ll edit this to let those who care on the progress
Coming up with first draft ideas 4 new rules( should I let people say I’m from Rivia my friend is from Helms deep(probably yeah))
Separating age groups what do u think don’t want any bad shit from a missing stair
🛡
Thx larp⚔️mix
Just wrote a bit for the parents letting them know their little squires are safe courtesy of precautions I have set
thinking that (to be historically accurate and safe) that you can larp whenever you want when 21 or older
these "issues" must be a American thing...here in Australia our LARP groups are VERY safe....because we don't allow anyone under 18 on the field under ANY circumstances
the easy way to solve these issues is to bring up the miniumium age to 18
Raising the age to 18 would help to solve many issues, but much of the stuff I mention doesn't matter what age you are. And it's most certainly not an American only thing. You may have just not seen it, but now that you've seen my video, you may.
A larp I once enjoyed recently excluded a massive portion of its player by implementing its own vaccine mandate. Either the members, people who've played for upwards of a decade and invested thousands of dollars get the vaccine, or be permanently removed from the game. I don't play with them any more. So now I'm just another exile from "The Lands of Exile".
I started LARPing in the early *90s, the dawn of LARP and have lived and playrd in 4 different countries since then and not once, not ONCE have I ever heard of sexual abuse at a con. There are sickos everywhere. this is NOT however a LARP specific problem. When I was in college I heard about rape or two each semester including a friend of mine who was raped in minutes after leaving a college bar. Larp is in comparison to most other sub-cultures very kind and caring. Don't try to vilify it.
7:19 small business owner cant LARP?
Interesting. But I hope not as dark as my job can be cus half of that stuff can be straight up illegal
Watch Role Models
That seems to be some weird western cultural thing...
I sincerely doubt that.
Nah man, pedophiles are everywhere. But in the US especially we are very vigilant about trafficking and always warn children against strangers on a regular basis. We are a bit paranoid about this stuff but the alternative is far worse.
You mean German legal prostitution which creates trafficking and slavery and rape?
@@mitchellslate1249 uh what
I live in Germany
How tf does legal prostitution make human trafficking or slavery?
The police will find out at some point cause in Germany
You can snitch to the police
I never thought about this. Holy fuck. Tell me you don’t seriously think a whole bunch of sex-offenders wouldn’t be making regular pilgrimage to these LARP events?!?