+Tehsnakerer eh comedy can only do so much for a review anyway. I like your reviews because they're like stories, you go in-depth about your playthrough and I find that to be pretty good.
@@jackstoutamore8541 aw shit, that sucks. The only thing i remember in Fable3 is how hard it was to make it work on PC and how hard it crashed, corrupting all saves in process.
Чё Бля I just played the game being the most evil and doing the most fun things I could, and still put it down See in this game they don’t put you in jail after a crime, they force you into a QuickTime event which constantly repeats and pays back a tiny piece of the ransom bit by bit Aka after killing a few guards, (something I occasionally do in other rpgs) I was immediately surrounded and forced to do that QTE I gave up on the game 10 minutes into the same event
One of the funniest parts is the long cutscene where the mutant guy and some random guard have a shitty brawl, and then the mutant guy goes cross eyed and has a derpy smile for some reason.
You know, in the Technomancer review Snake says that the Sean of that game was too nice to ever become the Sean of this game. But here he makes a good point that the prison is the nicest place on the planet, so... I don't see the contradiction. Good on Spiders for the consistent characterization and world building. Also, 21:20 becomes such a hilarious line armed with the future knowledge that Snake will accidentally sneak past the sequel's final boss.
In the second game it's explained. Mars wasn't moved, the sun just expanded and started to burn hotter. In the mean time, the earth is just fried, there isn't even a planet anymore where the Earth was. So, in a sense, the mars IS a Mercury now, as in "the closest to the sun" planet.
As I understand it, all of mars is absorbing solar radiation. The thing is a deathball no matter what we do, establish an atmosphere and every single square inch of the surface is still a radioactive wasteland.
Mars doesn't have a magnetosphere, so all of that nasty radiation we don't get on Earth is blasting directly into the skin of any dumbfuck out on the surface.
@@Ghorum Even with the best armchair future science you'll need like a millenia at bare minimum to turn Mars into something livable, and even then you're still relying on a giant space magnet to keep the new atmosphere from getting blown off by solar winds, something goes wrong with that thing and Mars is going back to being a unlivable hellhole within decades.
@@Ghorum if radiation worked like that your microwave dinners would give you radiation poisoning, as long as there's no fallout(ash or soil with isotope contamination )from nuclear disasters, giving mars an atmosphere and magnetosphere would make it safe.
I love these long videos. Some ppl might think these are too long but please ignore them. These long form critiques are something we need MORE of on YT. I'm sure it takes a ton of work to produce such great content, so please know it's appreciated. On a side note, the few other YT creators who do these awesome long form reviews could seriously learn something about comedy from watching you!
Ask and tou shall receive People be making 11h videos on old nickelodeon shows these days. Long videos are good but damn way too many people making them have too little to say
15:15 I love when the double-fisted hammer shows up in fight sequences. It just looks so dopey, and it's even better if you happen to know anything about hand-to-hand combat.
Okay but... like.... Virtue names have this problem of... well, there's only so many fucking virtues, so wouldn't there be this, I dunno, big problem of possibly hundreds of people going by the SAME FUCKING NAME? "Yeah, theres a bounty out on this guy, Prudence." "Wait, that's my name" "Wow, that was easy. Take him away boys, we got him"
I honestly like the idea of a normal human overcoming the setting's Jedi basically. Imagine how badass that TM boss fight would've been if you played Technomancer before this one, it would give a lot of context to that fight plus it also plays into the theme of the character being an ex TM.
I remember playing this off the arcade store on the Xbox 360; I remember it being janky, but I used stealth to cheese a lot of it and bashed everything else. I don't think I even used the magic at all.
i regularly return to these vids every few months or so. big fan of your longform stuff. my favourite is the hunt down the freeman one, so many good jabs
I cannot in good conscience take this setting seriously for the whole 'Virtue as first name' thing. It's so goofy, it makes me giggle enough seeing girls have it.
New subscriber, and might I just say. you have the best reviews I have seen so far on youtube. I've been sitting here for hours in shock of the amount of detail you put in. Good work man, keep it up.
Ah, Mars: War logs. I forgot the game. Actually liked it on my first playthrough despite the jank and horrible graphics. Tried to play it again a few years later die to rose-tinted nostalgia and didn't manage to get out of the prison before I had to stop and put the game down. It wasn't a particularly up-to-date game back then and it certainly didn't age very well after that. It also doesn't help that the prison is rather bland as an area. The other stuff was fine narratively so it's a bit of a shame I didn't manage to get there again.
Thank you! That's what I heard in his necromancer video so when I looked for this to watch first it took me 10 mins plus reading some comments because I couldn't find a damn "playing: warlock" lol
Just to give an example as to why the technomancers wouldn't explain about overload to the younger ones, is similar to how conservative christians want sex ed to be abstinence only education. As in, they don't tell them jack shit except, don't do it. My ex wife's family were conservatives, and she didn't find out what a period was until she had her first. It may be a fundamental part of life, but that won't stop people from not telling the younger generation information that would help them.
Innocence sounds like an imitation Daniel Radcliffe. Like a voice actor playing Harry in a Harry Potter game where it was too expensive to get Radcliffe to do the voice acting.
Looked him up out of curiosity, Tercelin Kirtley. Looks like he does mostly TV stuff. Seems to voice quite a bit of background characters in David Cage games.
It may just be a personal preference but I actually do like the virtue names idea... would probably work better if that Water Guild had a religious aesthetic though. Honestly most of the ideas the setting puts forward are actually pretty cool, they just... aren't implemented well here.
Saying out loud the wrong things at the wrong spot is a bad habit taken over from Low Budget TV SERIES and Movies. Saving money on sets and actors always had been important there. I love your tipps. 11:31 This is no prison it is run like a Russian Gulag or an old fashioned proson colonny. With different degrees of freedom because the people there are supposed to stay there for life inmates or not.
"Im not evil, im just stimulating the economy!" what has the world come to when I cant tell the difference between a joke abt a video game and what a literal governor has said unironically.
I'm just diving in. Something here lures me in. The developers are kind of ambitious to get their games out fast and interesting. I just have to nod their way. For Piranha Bytes it is kind of same. I love those radical small team heroes. Best regards
I own Technomancer and I love it. I HATE the game. The combat is garbage the temperature of the center of the sun, but the world is entrancing and I'll probably get this game, but.... I simply can not believe that Technomancer's combat is AN IMPROVEMENT from this game! I also can't believe that Master Sean was beaten to death with a lead pipe during a prison break... And he dressed in blue velour... AND he had another apprentice that was HOTTER than my Zack... So much to take in....
Nickname time: Courtesy? Curt. Sobriety? Eddy. Temperance? Rance. Innocence is a tough one. Inny isn't quite right but neither is Nos. Ino? Chastity? Chaz. Tenacity is another tough one. I'm not seeing anything obvious (besides "Tenno" bit that's a whole other thing haha). Tenner, maybe? Wisdom? Dom. If anyone thinks of any others, I'd love to see em!
I don't think I've ever heard someone actually say "Double U Double U 1" instead of "World War One". It's only an abbreviation in writing, that's four extra syllables when you say it aloud!
I remember the cranky neighbor in Gremlins(or maybe it was the sane actor in a different movie?) say "double-U double-U Eye Eye" as part of a 'kids these days' rant. But that being a movie character, such odd methods of talking might not mean anything...
The graphics are both good and bad. It's actually a lot more fun and better looking than I was expecting having heard little of this title over the years.
It’s like someone played ELEX, fell asleep during most of the story and had to bullshit their way through by putting it on Mars but keeping the mutants and the “your choices matter” crap. Jankier than a PiranhaBytes game, with a not terrible combat system is a real accomplishment.
Not a clue, looks fine on my end. TH-cam has apparently made the metrics for restricting content a lot more strict lately so maybe it's having a freak out.
![ILLSLICK - THE KING'S LANDING [Freestyle]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/feIJJnNkTfk/mqdefault.jpg)
Do not refuse the jank.
Accept the jank.
Embrace the jank.
*Become* the jank.
Randy, I AM the jank.
Jank is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... Unnatural.
Is this a Smash Bros. mantra?
For the movies side of things, it’s Schlock.
Embrace the schlock.
Become the schlock.
@Just a normal nazgul Not from a non-Slav studio...
They took Roy's Innocence, so he took their lives.
Well that's funnier than anything I said in the video
+Tehsnakerer eh comedy can only do so much for a review anyway. I like your reviews because they're like stories, you go in-depth about your playthrough and I find that to be pretty good.
Spicy Chicken God my wprd
'The revolt begins, the mutants rise up, its a mutiny!'
That's the best line on TH-cam
" hey hey people, Seeth here"
The atmosphere looks like a weird hybrid of Red Faction Guerilla and Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay.
Yeah, with less badass combat and environment destruction.
@@jackstoutamore8541 hey, you can shoot people with lighting! And bring guns into melee! That cant be all bad.
Чё Бля
The last game I played with both of those was Fable 3 😅
@@jackstoutamore8541 aw shit, that sucks. The only thing i remember in Fable3 is how hard it was to make it work on PC and how hard it crashed, corrupting all saves in process.
Чё Бля
I just played the game being the most evil and doing the most fun things I could, and still put it down
See in this game they don’t put you in jail after a crime, they force you into a QuickTime event which constantly repeats and pays back a tiny piece of the ransom bit by bit
Aka after killing a few guards, (something I occasionally do in other rpgs) I was immediately surrounded and forced to do that QTE
I gave up on the game 10 minutes into the same event
Fatso is my favourite virtue.
Hey, Snake, I made more subtitles for you. Cheers.
One of the funniest parts is the long cutscene where the mutant guy and some random guard have a shitty brawl, and then the mutant guy goes cross eyed and has a derpy smile for some reason.
How about instead of calling this game "Mars: War Logs" we just called it "Mars: Bit o' War, Innit?"
"Give things a bit of a wack yeah?"
Get a load of this fellas
A lil bit ah the ole’ conflict lumber, eh?
Mars war LOGS, key word there. But i cant expect people from the uk to have any reading comprehension
Mars can have a bit of war, as a treat
The tone, backstory and overall aesthetic all feel very Riddick, so it seems cool for that if nothing else.
You know, in the Technomancer review Snake says that the Sean of that game was too nice to ever become the Sean of this game. But here he makes a good point that the prison is the nicest place on the planet, so... I don't see the contradiction. Good on Spiders for the consistent characterization and world building.
Also, 21:20 becomes such a hilarious line armed with the future knowledge that Snake will accidentally sneak past the sequel's final boss.
"Gget lost, fff-uckerrrr!"
I actually broke out laughing at that voice acting
29:10: "I'm not evil, I'm just stimulating the economy!"
I think Roy's an even worse person than we realized...
If Mars moved closer to the sun by a bit, wouldn't it be more habitable? Or maybe it moved to Mercury? Idk I haven't finished the video
In the second game it's explained. Mars wasn't moved, the sun just expanded and started to burn hotter. In the mean time, the earth is just fried, there isn't even a planet anymore where the Earth was. So, in a sense, the mars IS a Mercury now, as in "the closest to the sun" planet.
As I understand it, all of mars is absorbing solar radiation. The thing is a deathball no matter what we do, establish an atmosphere and every single square inch of the surface is still a radioactive wasteland.
Mars doesn't have a magnetosphere, so all of that nasty radiation we don't get on Earth is blasting directly into the skin of any dumbfuck out on the surface.
@@Ghorum Even with the best armchair future science you'll need like a millenia at bare minimum to turn Mars into something livable, and even then you're still relying on a giant space magnet to keep the new atmosphere from getting blown off by solar winds, something goes wrong with that thing and Mars is going back to being a unlivable hellhole within decades.
@@Ghorum if radiation worked like that your microwave dinners would give you radiation poisoning, as long as there's no fallout(ash or soil with isotope contamination )from nuclear disasters, giving mars an atmosphere and magnetosphere would make it safe.
You do great reviews/game plays, love how you also do older games.
Thank you kindly
This is a fascinating setting.
I very much enjoy the idea of space colonies that for one reason or another just lose contact with Earth.
This definitely doesn’t look like a good game, but it also doesn’t look awful. It looks like a cookie-cutter RPG with a unique world.
Its funny how guard wants to escape prison like in Naked gun
26:26 That voice...can it be? Saul Meyers?!?
not according to imdb unfortunately www.imdb.com/name/nm0903677/?ref_=tt_cl_t1
I love these long videos. Some ppl might think these are too long but please ignore them. These long form critiques are something we need MORE of on YT. I'm sure it takes a ton of work to produce such great content, so please know it's appreciated. On a side note, the few other YT creators who do these awesome long form reviews could seriously learn something about comedy from watching you!
55 minutes.
Yes, 55 minutes.
Joseph Anderson has done 3 hour vids.
Some of the best content on YT.
@@SpunkyMcGoo That God of War vid was very good.
Long Man Bad
Ask and tou shall receive
People be making 11h videos on old nickelodeon shows these days.
Long videos are good but damn way too many people making them have too little to say
15:15 I love when the double-fisted hammer shows up in fight sequences. It just looks so dopey, and it's even better if you happen to know anything about hand-to-hand combat.
50:47
"What will the Resistance do without me?"
A good comeback would be 'We'll see here soon enough.'
Okay but... like.... Virtue names have this problem of... well, there's only so many fucking virtues, so wouldn't there be this, I dunno, big problem of possibly hundreds of people going by the SAME FUCKING NAME?
"Yeah, theres a bounty out on this guy, Prudence."
"Wait, that's my name"
"Wow, that was easy. Take him away boys, we got him"
53:00 Plot twist Wisdom is Tywin Lannister.
Going back to this video, it’s pretty crazy how much more creative the setting and art direction are than in Greedfall, imo.
I honestly like the idea of a normal human overcoming the setting's Jedi basically. Imagine how badass that TM boss fight would've been if you played Technomancer before this one, it would give a lot of context to that fight plus it also plays into the theme of the character being an ex TM.
I remember playing this off the arcade store on the Xbox 360; I remember it being janky, but I used stealth to cheese a lot of it and bashed everything else. I don't think I even used the magic at all.
i regularly return to these vids every few months or so. big fan of your longform stuff. my favourite is the hunt down the freeman one, so many good jabs
Thanks for making this video. Games by Spiders are truly bizarre. I even kinda want to play Mars for myself now.
"The mutants rise up; it's a mute-any."
Don't make me dislike this video.
43:25
that "oh no" slayed me
49:20 Charles Dance, is that you?
THANK YOU! Why is nobody acknowledging this!?
"Useless" and "Hindrance" would make great names here.
I cannot in good conscience take this setting seriously for the whole 'Virtue as first name' thing. It's so goofy, it makes me giggle enough seeing girls have it.
It's probably an ironic thing, seeing as few people has their names reflecting pure opposite of what they really are.
It sounds like a 50's B movie.
It's probably based off the Puritan naming convention, where they also named their children after virtues or similar words.
What I want to know is why everyone insists on going by their full, multisyllabic name. Like, if your name is Courtesy, you could just go by Curt.
@@DStecks Makes sense, but some names don't exactly lend themselves to shortening. Innocence? Temperance? Roy had the right idea of dropping his.
Me at 2 am in the morning trying to get my sleep schedule in order:
aw shit, here we go again.
New subscriber, and might I just say. you have the best reviews I have seen so far on youtube. I've been sitting here for hours in shock of the amount of detail you put in. Good work man, keep it up.
Ah, Mars: War logs. I forgot the game. Actually liked it on my first playthrough despite the jank and horrible graphics. Tried to play it again a few years later die to rose-tinted nostalgia and didn't manage to get out of the prison before I had to stop and put the game down. It wasn't a particularly up-to-date game back then and it certainly didn't age very well after that. It also doesn't help that the prison is rather bland as an area.
The other stuff was fine narratively so it's a bit of a shame I didn't manage to get there again.
That revolt fight scene reminded me of the Halo 5 Chief/Locke fight scene
I just realized that War Logs sounds like Warlock...
Thank you! That's what I heard in his necromancer video so when I looked for this to watch first it took me 10 mins plus reading some comments because I couldn't find a damn "playing: warlock" lol
Just to give an example as to why the technomancers wouldn't explain about overload to the younger ones, is similar to how conservative christians want sex ed to be abstinence only education. As in, they don't tell them jack shit except, don't do it. My ex wife's family were conservatives, and she didn't find out what a period was until she had her first. It may be a fundamental part of life, but that won't stop people from not telling the younger generation information that would help them.
It took me until today to realize this and Red Faction are different games, and i first watched this video 4 years ago.
"So you can't mix useless and hinderance together."
I AM DYING!
6:00 I'm guessing that's a "designed for console" thing
I love all the Mars rovers and mission names you dropped, Nice touch
Innocence sounds like an imitation Daniel Radcliffe. Like a voice actor playing Harry in a Harry Potter game where it was too expensive to get Radcliffe to do the voice acting.
Looked him up out of curiosity, Tercelin Kirtley. Looks like he does mostly TV stuff. Seems to voice quite a bit of background characters in David Cage games.
Dude, you deserve more subscroobers
The prison looks like Grineer mars tilesets in Warframe
Hey. Is the guard at 26:20 voiced by Saul meyers? It sounds uncanny
"virtual mission?"
"No, virtuous mission.'
*Growls*
METAL GEAR.
It may just be a personal preference but I actually do like the virtue names idea... would probably work better if that Water Guild had a religious aesthetic though.
Honestly most of the ideas the setting puts forward are actually pretty cool, they just... aren't implemented well here.
your reviews are AMAZING dude. i dont know why your channel isn't bigger. :(
The virtual mission? :D
Happy to see you again. :)
Good to be back
The dust in the thumbnail looks like he's getting the best sloppy top in the universe and its about to blow
Always good to see stuff from ya
Cheers
The Aurora virtue names are inspired by Ayn Rands "Anthem". A good 30 page story.
12:19 That's the bloke from Shadowrun! John? Jake? Jack?
The job: Harrass a mutant, a total milk run
It’s 2022, I’ll never play this game, and this was one of the funniest things I’ve ever watched
Saying out loud the wrong things at the wrong spot is a bad habit taken over from Low Budget TV SERIES and Movies. Saving money on sets and actors always had been important there. I love your tipps. 11:31 This is no prison it is run like a Russian Gulag or an old fashioned proson colonny. With different degrees of freedom because the people there are supposed to stay there for life inmates or not.
12:45 "If you need a HAND for a JOB or something"
I have indeed seen what they did there
i'm happy you're back
"Im not evil, im just stimulating the economy!" what has the world come to when I cant tell the difference between a joke abt a video game and what a literal governor has said unironically.
I just realized that Roy's voice actor may be the same one for J.C. Denton in Deus Ex.
not according to imdb unfortunately www.imdb.com/name/nm0291152/?ref_=tt_cl_t1
It's just the same raspy cool guy archetype voice.
BugPope I swear I see you everywhere, can we stop sharing so many interests
The setting sounds like 40K Mechanicus lore lmao
I didn’t even know technomancer was a sequel man I need to rewatch your review on it
RIP Jay and Silent Bob.
I watched the Technomancer Review first and continously misheard the title of this game as "Warlocks" which confused me immensely.
I'm just diving in. Something here lures me in. The developers are kind of ambitious to get their games out fast and interesting. I just have to nod their way. For Piranha Bytes it is kind of same. I love those radical small team heroes. Best regards
When do you think you'll review Postal 1/Redux?
PS. Great video, always great to see reviews on this channel, keep up the good work :)
Dude I love early Bioware RPGs, this sounds awesome. I'm 5 minutes in and I'm already stoked, might just stop the video here and get the game myself.
hey man, great review. do you think you'll get around to reviewing the technomancer?
I started playing it last night, just fiddling with the game to get it running at a good framerate while recording so I do intend to atm
So the Technomancer Girl gets Fried and joins you looking like Angelica's Doll
A LOT of people are asking for a review of Postal redux, problem is, I ain't sure there's much to say, it's Postal 1 but MUCH better. Which is cool.
I own Technomancer and I love it. I HATE the game. The combat is garbage the temperature of the center of the sun, but the world is entrancing and I'll probably get this game, but....
I simply can not believe that Technomancer's combat is AN IMPROVEMENT from this game! I also can't believe that Master Sean was beaten to death with a lead pipe during a prison break... And he dressed in blue velour... AND he had another apprentice that was HOTTER than my Zack... So much to take in....
The biggest surprise here is that it isn't a walking simulator like I always thought for some goddamn reason.
If Red Faction was a Dark Souls RPG with magic
Did you play the technomancer? IT plays after this one, and Saun is in that game too
I did
They wanted to call it Mars Warlocks, but wanted to be cheeky
Nickname time: Courtesy? Curt. Sobriety? Eddy. Temperance? Rance. Innocence is a tough one. Inny isn't quite right but neither is Nos. Ino?
Chastity? Chaz. Tenacity is another tough one. I'm not seeing anything obvious (besides "Tenno" bit that's a whole other thing haha). Tenner, maybe? Wisdom? Dom.
If anyone thinks of any others, I'd love to see em!
With Innocence, I just went with Inno.
It's been more than four years and I just realized that Roy looks exactly like George Clooney.
6:59 Perfect subtitle for all these janky games.
I don't think I've ever heard someone actually say "Double U Double U 1" instead of "World War One". It's only an abbreviation in writing, that's four extra syllables when you say it aloud!
I remember the cranky neighbor in Gremlins(or maybe it was the sane actor in a different movie?) say "double-U double-U Eye Eye" as part of a 'kids these days' rant.
But that being a movie character, such odd methods of talking might not mean anything...
The graphics are both good and bad. It's actually a lot more fun and better looking than I was expecting having heard little of this title over the years.
Just in time for dinner.
44:28 for a moment i thought they were having a dance party
"Virtual mission!?"
"No, virtuous mission"
This game was fun and not super long either. I enjoy Spider’s games.
A block
And a DEATH SPIN!
It’s like someone played ELEX, fell asleep during most of the story and had to bullshit their way through by putting it on Mars but keeping the mutants and the “your choices matter” crap. Jankier than a PiranhaBytes game, with a not terrible combat system is a real accomplishment.
It’s like a Janky Mad Max…with no cars…and on Mars…with powers and… okay it’s nothing like Mad Max bar the minimal guns, melee only.
That fight!
Wisdom looks like Charles Dance.
Very nice
I wonder if Charles Dance could sue them for using his likeness.
Greedfall is good and they made that too I think
Hey Snake why did War Logs get a content warning before the video played?
Not a clue, looks fine on my end. TH-cam has apparently made the metrics for restricting content a lot more strict lately so maybe it's having a freak out.
This game looks like Red Faction Guerrilla from 2008. How did thry manage that....
Nice.
the best thing u can do is spam dodge and block and see roy spazz out
Why does this game seem to have that cartoony borderlands shader only in certain areas? The inconsistency makes it look really bad
Can you review postal 1?
just in time for bed