As a recovering drug addict I have learned that I stopped developing emotionally when I started using drugs which was when I was around 12 years old. I got clean at 36 and now I'm almost 43. I have worked very hard to deal with my emotions instead of numbing them with drugs. I have found that my ego can be my biggest enemy. I know a healthy ego is a wonderful thing to have. I can definitely twist that. I have a habit to manipulate. I manipulate others and even myself. I try my best to recognize when I do this and immediately call myself out on it when I do. I've definitely learned that I have much to learn. I research spiritual literature, philosophy, and videos like this. Your teachings are very helpful. Im getting it in the brain but just as you say in many videos I'm still trying to move that information to my heart.
As a person also in recovery, I resonate 100% with everything you just said. It’s so hard to move all of the information that I’ve learned in terms of spirituality, philosophy, etc. from the brain to the heart. I guess it’s practicing everyday and as you said being aware of these things that were trying to change. Good luck to you.
Not sure if youve heard of Ryan Holiday, but id highly encourage you to read his books and watch his youtube videos. Im in recovery from gambling and he has helped me gain a lot of insight into my thought patterns. God bless
1. An inability to tolerate people having different beliefs from your own 2. A need to minimize your mistakes, but amplify other people's mistakes 3. An inability to see your own hypocrisies 4. An inability to handle feedback that challenges what you think 5. A desire for people to be punished if they think, feel, believe, or behave differently from what you want 6. Holding a condescending view of others who think, feel, believe, or behave differently from what you want 7. The belief that the world "should" be the way you think it "should" be, instead of seeing the world-as-it-is
#1 is at the TOP OF THE LIST not by accident...!! Because I don't agree with MAGA Maniacs, they yell and say you're UnAmerican or a Socialist or Communist. Go figure....
Yes exactly! That is DC & today's thinking in society even encouraged, I feel I feel I feel🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 I feel I'm now a girl🎉 today I Feel like a boy🎉 & tomorrow I may Feel like a dog or cat.
This kind of advice and teaching is literally LIFE SAVING. I wish they would teach this in school for adolescents that are almost considered grown. Thank you for being a source!
Thank you so much for your kind words. I honestly wish I could have learned this when I was young, too. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
Was raised by two emotionally immature parents and I now see those traits in myself 😢 That took some time to understand because when things look cookie cutter from the outside u don’t see it. But emotional neglect is very real
ONLY 124k Subscribers??? This Channel is WAY MORE IMPORTANT than any Music Video, Cat Video, Stupid Challenge, or whatever. Just goes to show what TRULY MATTERS in Life's Journey, becoming a better Human Being isn't important to most people. Thank you Dr. Conte for making us aware of our Sanity and 'Peace of Mind' with your Intellect and Wisdom. ❤🙏
Dr Conte I would like you to know how much I admire what you teach I've been in and out of the system for years I have an addiction problem and becoming aware of how I act a think is very important to being able to change and has helped me overcome my addiction a lot when I have to go to jail for a violation which is very often I use that time to read stuff that fills my brain with with powerful stuff to become a better person and you are my favorite person to read about thank you ❤️ you have no idea how much you have helped me
Thank you so much brother. I'm sorry to hear about the struggles you've encountered, but please remember - we are all human, and we all struggle at times. You are a warrior for continually seeking to learn and grow, and I am most definitely sending you all my best and tons and tons of peace!
I have been trying to better myself, and when I came across the title of this video, I said to myself, ok, time to dig deep and get real. Thank you for your opening words so I could put a little distance from my feelings of fear of what I would hear about myself so I could internalize what you had to share. Getting better and having more peace with hard work and your help. Thank you.
You are no doubt bettering yourself even with your intention to do so; but then add the fact that you are watching videos and trying to work on personal growth, and that says a lot about you. Sending you all my best and tons of peace!
I’ve been using your teachings lately and they’ve REALLY been improving my mental health. I was on the verge of exploding. I could feel myself DYING from the hate and anger I had in me. I was masking it with marijuana for years. Today is the longest I’ve gone without weed in 7 years. Accepting the world the way it is and problems that WERE problems and no longer hurt me has been pivotal. I don’t mean to sound chauvinistic but every therapist I’d heard from was a soft hippy like woman and I just could never relate. I’m a furry, testosterone filled man that’s grown up fighting on the streets, in a ring and in Afghanistan and it’s nice to hear from another “big man”. It was hard to hear a lady tell me to be calm. Seeing another man control his emotions and thoughts just inspires me. I’ve let go of so much just in the last few days including substance abuse and events I can’t change… I can’t put into words how much I appreciate YOU devoting YOUR LIFE to making people better that will never meet you. Your platform is HUGE and you’ve got a serious gift for it to be rolling the way it is. For your words to be reaching the ears and hearts of people around the globe. I haven’t been to the VA for treatment in 7 years and YOU are getting through to me. I can’t tell you how many times in the last month or two I’ve thought about taking my life or letting it be taken. …With this loss of purpose from our troops pulling out of the Middle East your teachings are helping me accept it and understand my purpose still exists. You’re helping me to focus on loving others, which I enjoy much more than hating others. I thank you from the absolute bottom of my heart and soul. My wife thanks you and my 3 little girls (8 mos, 3 years and 11) thank you! I’ve opened up to my 11 year old about my imperfections and I’ve made a great effort to show her that we CAN fix our mistakes by moving past them and admitting them to others and accepting their mistakes. I just don’t have all the words to express to you my gratitude. Thank you!
Man, I appreciate your kind words tremendously. But more than that, I appreciate the strength you exude to challenge yourself to go inward and face what you need to, because that's flat out incredible. And without a doubt, I appreciate your service. We are all connected, and you having served in our military to keep us safe is how I have the freedom to pursue a career where I can help anyone in the first place. So my wife and daughter and I reciprocate your impact on our lives, as well. And I am truly grateful that my work is helpful for you. I really believe that you being a living example of the possibility of change for your little girls is something that can impact their lives forever. I do the same with my daughter. Our children need us to be strong enough to fight through the obstacles we face, and as men, and especially as fathers, I think that is one of the most important quests we can ever go on: The journey through our undiscovered psyches. And the more we go inward, the more strength we find. If I can help you along the way, please reach out through email. My website takes you to my management team, but if you can indicate to them that I asked you to email me, I'll be sure to get it. Definitely sending you all my best, brother. And tons of peace.
Speaking on obtaining peace…the only way I have been able to gather peace in my life is to rid myself of those who caused the disruption. You can have ppl who get pleasure from promoting misery and its those ppl that should be set aside and either dealt with as little as possible or completely removed from ones life.
I personally was not taught anything growing up it's important that parents teach this to their children so I have a lot of that emotional immaturity and deal with it as well as I can
Dr Conte: Thank you, I just got hit in the face with the answer I've been searching for forever! Where were you before I turned 80. I swear life has been nothing but swimming up stream even though I tried so hard daily to fix myself. Being an artist I can see the world as it can be. I fight daily with reality and it sucks! Now I know why. There's not just black and white, there's gray also! xoxo
Such an amazing video Dr. Conte, thank you for this lesson, these are great things to watch out for as they will definitely get in the way of our peace.
Doc- Thank you I am an MFT in treatment and use his video ALL the time, thank you thank you for breaking it down in a way that Men can hear you, my client are engaged in the material and Challege their inner voice to do better for the information that the receive. I appreciate you and thank you for all those lives that we touch. Peace
While I know I’m not the most emotionally mature person out there and I still make many mistakes, I got a taste of true immaturity when I was with my ex. I can relate to some of these and am in therapy actively asking questions on how to improve. It was as if you were listing almost everything my ex is in this video. This helped me immensely in trying not to blame myself for eveything over his immaturity and causes for the end of our relationship. Of course, there are areas I definitely am going to improve on. Thank you!! Maybe I am being immature right now stating that 🤔
I think you're being human by stating those things, so I have no judgment for you seeing this in your ex, but I also like that I get the sense that you understand ultimately you have to bring all personal growth back to you, and only focus on what you can control (yourself). I'm grateful to hear this was helpful. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
Thank you Cat! But you did 100% of all the work. I am just grateful that you find some sense of support with my work. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
According to the comments, I’m surprised to read comments from people identifying their selves as immature who can realize it! I’m surprised because I have been dealing with an immature partner, and I thought that even with a lot of work on himself it would still be toxic and unsafe to deal with him.
Dr. Cristian , I am totally connected with what you have always been saying.. Every lesson you have taught me has worked in waking me up.. I want and need to improve.. Thank you for that jump start to becoming a better version of myself.
My issue is not different beliefs - it’s the willful ignorance in people’s experiences that could harm others. It’s overwhelming for me 😞. I’m working on it, but the pain is real. This is really helpful though.
Yes. I have tended to revert back to some of these mentalities. It was how I was taught (by observation) how to deal with my insecurities. Now as a much, much older man, I'm learning to identify these behavior mindsets and where they come from. Thank you for this video.👍💪
excellent. I have wondered for two years if my partner is narcissistic ......... always feeling that he has narc behaviours but not the actual disorder. Wow ... this is it!!He scores on all 7! And some of them big time!! OMG!!
We can find ourselves in situations and contexts, and recognize some of these things in how we're being. Some siuatuons, they come up .. and we have a "hmm, I didnt handle that well". So it's the pattern of behaviour we're needing to look for .. like you said, the frequency and inflexibility of it.
I love your videos and you are great at explaining things like this. I kind of hope you can make a video about fighting fair in a relationship. You offer such great advice!
Dr. Conte I’m very thankful for your inspirational videos. I have autism and struggle everyday with life. Could you do a video about autism and how to help others with autism?
Oh yes I'd love that. Hey I'd also recommend Julia Kristina counseling on TH-cam. As a fellow autistic person, I found her videos really helpful with trying to stay in control of my mind, thoughts, and feelings.
Hi Connor! Thank you so much for your kind words. And yes, I will absolutely make that video. That’s a great idea. Thank you. Definitely sending you much peace! 🙏🏼
This video saved me, this video is very helpful :) but I have few questions; Is it considered as emotionally immature if a person hurt others, and realized its effects/harm on people, apologized it, and changed as a person. **But** in the end the person will never see a good person in its reflection and will always label themselves as a bad person, permanently. and despite improvement and what people say ("You're a good person") they will see it otherwise? and for the 2nd question, on the second chapter/sign (2:26 minimizing own mistakes but amplity others) what if its the opposite? Is it still considered as emotionally immature? great video again, Sorry if these were a confusing question. English isn't my native language edit: also I completely understand maturity is learning, growing, and changing but just a question out of curiosity. Helpful video as always!!
What if the belief system problem is Domestic? In my relationship. Then we find differences in parenting, how we want to be treated in a relationship.. How do I deal with the anger created in this relationship? Is it possible for the toxic relationship to cause you to become more intolerant and angry? How do you convince the other person this is toxic?
Tolerating other people's opinions is generally good advice, but does the nature of those opinions make a difference? What's the best way to approach someone who's opinions are hateful, such as a white supremacist? Or somebody who stubbornly clings to a belief that flies in the face of evidence?
Believe what you see. If you see/hear a rattlesnake…are you going to try to talk it out of being as it is? If you do that, you’re fighting reality, wasting your time, and possibly going to be hurt. Same with many people like this. Tolerating doesn’t mean agreement or condoning…it’s merely that you’re not going to lose your sanity over it and engage in pointless discussion
#4 is something I should work on improve upon. #5, #6, there are certain types of behaviors that I see inappropriate to tolerate. But these are extemes.
Het Doc! Great video. Just found you're channel. Question. Can an upbringing with a detached,abusive father have any bearing on emotional imaturity? Thanks
An emotionally immature person and a narcissist would have a lot in common, what would be the difference? Because it is often said that the difference is that immature people are not financially responsible, but that would be total immature, not just emotional. If he is financially responsible but emotionally immature, would that mean he is a narcissist? And if he is only emotionally immature, is she capable of feeling love?
I do have one on how to handle what I call "crisis-prone" individuals, and I definitely think it can be helpful. I appreciate you checking out the channel and I'm definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
If we’re being honest, I think that’s true for most of us. At least there’s some degree of immaturity in each of the categories. Observe oneself, learn and develop!
This has me thinking is emotional maturity an end destination or is it a constant ebb and flow between mature moments and immature moments? Especially with today's social echo chambers we need lists like this just to help us identify and correct (in my opinion at least). Also I'm seriously guilty of the traffic one
As Dr Lindsay Gibson says, it’s on a continuum. If we are stressed, hungry, we can display emotional immaturity momentarily…however, we often can stop it quicker, recognize, apologize if necessary. I think of emotional maturity as resolute mindfulness, living in reality, and equanimity. Emotional immaturity is the opposite. There are many iterations in between!
Why does it take so long to change and so many repetitions of the same mistakes? I am completely aware i am about to make the mistake and I cant control it. I dislike this about myself and want to change so badly and be a pleasant person to be around. But its like Im a slave to my emotions.
Well this explains a lot about the clown world we live in right now. I often think that "stupid" has taken a hold of our country. Where the emotionally immature are the ones in control.
Had a relative who is a professional Psychologist. He would use dinner party tables as a platform to outline his Patient's maladies. Be very careful who you open up to folks. Psychologists get off on their letters. Very often they will report to an employer or spouse, whatever you may share under the guise of "Confidential." Doctors take a superior position even though they have not even done their own work.
In my opinion, emotional immaturity can be identified in someone who is in a rush to have feelings. When you are desiring to make someone feel a certain way or you feel a certain way about them quickly....you do not give yourself time to understand why you feel that way or whats driving the emotion. Human beings have had emotions since they were infants, yet it isn't until you become an adult and learn to examine why you feel what you feel and regulate these feelings that you become emotionally mature. Emotions are deceivers when you act on them without understanding why you feel that way. They are sources of conflict when they are projected onto others. But by understanding the emotions we all share as humans you grow mature enough to connect or form emotional intelligence which is far more beneficial than emotional maturity. Please dont be offended, this is just an educated opinion.
I have a question…. At what age is your brain fully developed? Also I’m wondering at what age should you start learning more emotional maturity? I know everyones timing in Learning is going to be be different because of circumstances etc etc…. Is there an age?
Generally your brain is “fully developed” mid 20’s. However, this does NOT mean that maturity will be there. Our culture pushes intellectual and social maturity, and often is very deficient in healthy emotional training/modeling. I’ve met people in their 80’s who were emotionally immature. It has a lot to do with the conditioning, neural pathways, limbic system programs, that began in childhood. All people with emotional immaturity have signs of insecure attachment. So, no matter how fully the brain is developed…there are many factors to consider in regards to what creates emotional maturity/immaturity
The only way to really feel justified in believing you know better or are smarter is to get educated, learn what truth and knowledge mean (ergo ontology and epistemology), learn logic, and do validated IQ tests (might cost money because only psychologists can administer the most validated tests). Everything else is likely make believe. I've always wondered how people can be so confidently arrogant and even immoral about their beliefs and thoughts despite never giving rationales or evidence for their case. The evidence they do give is often just argumentative or logical fallacies, and then you realize you should educate this person too much to be bothered to even continue the engagement.
Having listened to, and contemplated these 7 signs, and then having observed modern human behaviour(s) as presented on social media, news media, podcasts, POLITICS, etc., it seems apparent to me that virtually all of society/societies are clearly emotionally immature (EI). This comment is not meant as a judgement of your presentation of the 7 signs, on the contrary because they (the seven signs) seem reasonable enough to me, but, man the scenes of human behaviour flooding the eyeballs these days seems an astonishing indictment of EI. It’s very Sad 😞.
Toddler mentality = yummy-yucky. Most adults who are university graduates continue toddler mentality by changing to the form: "You are either with us or against us!"
I get what you mean about disagreeing, but not every opinion is only grounded in one's own perspective. A lot of them are grounded in truth and fact. Flat earthers, for example. The earth is most definitely round, that's not just my perspective. Personally I don't care about flat earthers, I think they're funny, but that's a good example of when being disagreed with calls for a little intolerance Stupidity is infuriating and should not be tolerated by anyone. It may not matter now that someone is an idiot, but idiots breed more idiots, and a world full of idiots will definitely matter in the future. It's already happening Do you really want your kids growing up in a world where everyone thinks the earth is flat? (Again, just an example)
As a recovering drug addict I have learned that I stopped developing emotionally when I started using drugs which was when I was around 12 years old. I got clean at 36 and now I'm almost 43. I have worked very hard to deal with my emotions instead of numbing them with drugs. I have found that my ego can be my biggest enemy. I know a healthy ego is a wonderful thing to have. I can definitely twist that. I have a habit to manipulate. I manipulate others and even myself. I try my best to recognize when I do this and immediately call myself out on it when I do. I've definitely learned that I have much to learn. I research spiritual literature, philosophy, and videos like this. Your teachings are very helpful. Im getting it in the brain but just as you say in many videos I'm still trying to move that information to my heart.
Great job
at least you recognize it
As a person also in recovery, I resonate 100% with everything you just said. It’s so hard to move all of the information that I’ve learned in terms of spirituality, philosophy, etc. from the brain to the heart. I guess it’s practicing everyday and as you said being aware of these things that were trying to change. Good luck to you.
I know this is an old comment but it takes A LOT to grow up later in life as you did-absolutely beautiful!!!!👏👏👏👏
Not sure if youve heard of Ryan Holiday, but id highly encourage you to read his books and watch his youtube videos. Im in recovery from gambling and he has helped me gain a lot of insight into my thought patterns. God bless
1. An inability to tolerate people having different beliefs from your own
2. A need to minimize your mistakes, but amplify other people's mistakes
3. An inability to see your own hypocrisies
4. An inability to handle feedback that challenges what you think
5. A desire for people to be punished if they think, feel, believe, or behave differently from what you want
6. Holding a condescending view of others who think, feel, believe, or behave differently from what you want
7. The belief that the world "should" be the way you think it "should" be, instead of seeing the world-as-it-is
Thanks , I was scrolling down hoping someone had done it
#1 is at the TOP OF THE LIST not by accident...!! Because I don't agree with MAGA Maniacs, they yell and say you're UnAmerican or a Socialist or Communist. Go figure....
Dont' shoot the messenger but this sounds EXACTLY LIKE TRUMP.....!!
Yes exactly! That is DC & today's thinking in society even encouraged, I feel I feel
I feel🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 I feel I'm now a girl🎉 today I Feel like a boy🎉 & tomorrow I may Feel like a dog or cat.
@@megaexidor or maybe I don't FEEL like understanding those that don't look, think or FEEL like I do. The IRONY of your statement is HYPOCRITICAL.
This kind of advice and teaching is literally LIFE SAVING. I wish they would teach this in school for adolescents that are almost considered grown. Thank you for being a source!
Thank you so much for your kind words. I honestly wish I could have learned this when I was young, too. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
Was raised by two emotionally immature parents and I now see those traits in myself 😢
That took some time to understand because when things look cookie cutter from the outside u don’t see it. But emotional neglect is very real
ONLY 124k Subscribers??? This Channel is WAY MORE IMPORTANT than any Music Video, Cat Video, Stupid Challenge, or whatever. Just goes to show what TRULY MATTERS in Life's Journey, becoming a better Human Being isn't important to most people.
Thank you Dr. Conte for making us aware of our Sanity and 'Peace of Mind' with your Intellect and Wisdom. ❤🙏
Dr Conte I would like you to know how much I admire what you teach I've been in and out of the system for years I have an addiction problem and becoming aware of how I act a think is very important to being able to change and has helped me overcome my addiction a lot when I have to go to jail for a violation which is very often I use that time to read stuff that fills my brain with with powerful stuff to become a better person and you are my favorite person to read about thank you ❤️ you have no idea how much you have helped me
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much brother. I'm sorry to hear about the struggles you've encountered, but please remember - we are all human, and we all struggle at times. You are a warrior for continually seeking to learn and grow, and I am most definitely sending you all my best and tons and tons of peace!
I have been trying to better myself, and when I came across the title of this video, I said to myself, ok, time to dig deep and get real. Thank you for your opening words so I could put a little distance from my feelings of fear of what I would hear about myself so I could internalize what you had to share. Getting better and having more peace with hard work and your help. Thank you.
You are no doubt bettering yourself even with your intention to do so; but then add the fact that you are watching videos and trying to work on personal growth, and that says a lot about you. Sending you all my best and tons of peace!
I’ve been using your teachings lately and they’ve REALLY been improving my mental health. I was on the verge of exploding. I could feel myself DYING from the hate and anger I had in me. I was masking it with marijuana for years. Today is the longest I’ve gone without weed in 7 years. Accepting the world the way it is and problems that WERE problems and no longer hurt me has been pivotal. I don’t mean to sound chauvinistic but every therapist I’d heard from was a soft hippy like woman and I just could never relate. I’m a furry, testosterone filled man that’s grown up fighting on the streets, in a ring and in Afghanistan and it’s nice to hear from another “big man”. It was hard to hear a lady tell me to be calm. Seeing another man control his emotions and thoughts just inspires me. I’ve let go of so much just in the last few days including substance abuse and events I can’t change… I can’t put into words how much I appreciate YOU devoting YOUR LIFE to making people better that will never meet you. Your platform is HUGE and you’ve got a serious gift for it to be rolling the way it is. For your words to be reaching the ears and hearts of people around the globe. I haven’t been to the VA for treatment in 7 years and YOU are getting through to me. I can’t tell you how many times in the last month or two I’ve thought about taking my life or letting it be taken. …With this loss of purpose from our troops pulling out of the Middle East your teachings are helping me accept it and understand my purpose still exists. You’re helping me to focus on loving others, which I enjoy much more than hating others. I thank you from the absolute bottom of my heart and soul. My wife thanks you and my 3 little girls (8 mos, 3 years and 11) thank you! I’ve opened up to my 11 year old about my imperfections and I’ve made a great effort to show her that we CAN fix our mistakes by moving past them and admitting them to others and accepting their mistakes. I just don’t have all the words to express to you my gratitude. Thank you!
Man, I appreciate your kind words tremendously. But more than that, I appreciate the strength you exude to challenge yourself to go inward and face what you need to, because that's flat out incredible. And without a doubt, I appreciate your service. We are all connected, and you having served in our military to keep us safe is how I have the freedom to pursue a career where I can help anyone in the first place. So my wife and daughter and I reciprocate your impact on our lives, as well. And I am truly grateful that my work is helpful for you. I really believe that you being a living example of the possibility of change for your little girls is something that can impact their lives forever. I do the same with my daughter. Our children need us to be strong enough to fight through the obstacles we face, and as men, and especially as fathers, I think that is one of the most important quests we can ever go on: The journey through our undiscovered psyches. And the more we go inward, the more strength we find. If I can help you along the way, please reach out through email. My website takes you to my management team, but if you can indicate to them that I asked you to email me, I'll be sure to get it. Definitely sending you all my best, brother. And tons of peace.
Speaking on obtaining peace…the only way I have been able to gather peace in my life is to rid myself of those who caused the disruption. You can have ppl who get pleasure from promoting misery and its those ppl that should be set aside and either dealt with as little as possible or completely removed from ones life.
very timely insights... thanks for this.
I personally was not taught anything growing up it's important that parents teach this to their children so I have a lot of that emotional immaturity and deal with it as well as I can
Dr Conte: Thank you, I just got hit in the face with the answer I've been searching for forever! Where were you before I turned 80. I swear life has been nothing but swimming up stream even though I tried so hard daily to fix myself. Being an artist I can see the world as it can be. I fight daily with reality and it sucks! Now I know why. There's not just black and white, there's gray also! xoxo
One Barb to another…I am 72 and just beginning to understand myself
Once again can't thank you enough Dr.
Such an amazing video Dr. Conte, thank you for this lesson, these are great things to watch out for as they will definitely get in the way of our peace.
Doc- Thank you I am an MFT in treatment and use his video ALL the time, thank you thank you for breaking it down in a way that Men can hear you, my client are engaged in the material and Challege their inner voice to do better for the information that the receive. I appreciate you and thank you for all those lives that we touch. Peace
I appreciate you taking time to share some kind words a ton. Sending you much peace for sure!
this channel is under viewed for sure. Solid messages thanks brother
While I know I’m not the most emotionally mature person out there and I still make many mistakes, I got a taste of true immaturity when I was with my ex. I can relate to some of these and am in therapy actively asking questions on how to improve.
It was as if you were listing almost everything my ex is in this video. This helped me immensely in trying not to blame myself for eveything over his immaturity and causes for the end of our relationship. Of course, there are areas I definitely am going to improve on. Thank you!!
Maybe I am being immature right now stating that 🤔
I think you're being human by stating those things, so I have no judgment for you seeing this in your ex, but I also like that I get the sense that you understand ultimately you have to bring all personal growth back to you, and only focus on what you can control (yourself). I'm grateful to hear this was helpful. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
Thank you Sir, you have helped me grow into a better person.
Thank you Cat! But you did 100% of all the work. I am just grateful that you find some sense of support with my work. Definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
@@DrChristianConte seriously Sir, thank you for the mental leg up
Thank-you for all your help!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good stuff doc. It's disconcerting how many times per day we encounter these traits.
Appreciate you! Definitely sending you much peace!
According to the comments, I’m surprised to read comments from people identifying their selves as immature who can realize it! I’m surprised because I have been dealing with an immature partner, and I thought that even with a lot of work on himself it would still be toxic and unsafe to deal with him.
Dr. Cristian , I am totally connected with what you have always been saying.. Every lesson you have taught me has worked in waking me up.. I want and need to improve.. Thank you for that jump start to becoming a better version of myself.
Thank you brother. Please know I am definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
Hey Doc thank you for your advice . I wish blessings on you and your loved ones
My issue is not different beliefs - it’s the willful ignorance in people’s experiences that could harm others. It’s overwhelming for me 😞. I’m working on it, but the pain is real. This is really helpful though.
Yes. I have tended to revert back to some of these mentalities. It was how I was taught (by observation) how to deal with my insecurities. Now as a much, much older man, I'm learning to identify these behavior mindsets and where they come from. Thank you for this video.👍💪
Love This!!!
Your videos are great, I hope I find therapist like you in my country! BR from Slovenia
Thank you for the pop quiz. Much peace to you.
This was really helpful, thank you 🙏🏾
Thank you for making this video, it explains a lot of the behavior happening in our culture lately. I hope we can all mature and evolve together. 🙏❤🙏
excellent. I have wondered for two years if my partner is narcissistic ......... always feeling that he has narc behaviours but not the actual disorder. Wow ... this is it!!He scores on all 7! And some of them big time!! OMG!!
great job Doc.... thanks
Are narcissists basically stuck in emotional immaturity?
I scored 7/7. That's 100 percent A+
We can find ourselves in situations and contexts, and recognize some of these things in how we're being. Some siuatuons, they come up .. and we have a "hmm, I didnt handle that well". So it's the pattern of behaviour we're needing to look for .. like you said, the frequency and inflexibility of it.
Right on !!!
Very educational 😊
Brilliant man
Good insight
Key here is that ppl literally can’t see what they are doing
I love your videos and you are great at explaining things like this. I kind of hope you can make a video about fighting fair in a relationship. You offer such great advice!
Thank you so much! Sending you much peace!
Dr. Conte I’m very thankful for your inspirational videos. I have autism and struggle everyday with life. Could you do a video about autism and how to help others with autism?
Oh yes I'd love that. Hey I'd also recommend Julia Kristina counseling on TH-cam. As a fellow autistic person, I found her videos really helpful with trying to stay in control of my mind, thoughts, and feelings.
Hi Connor! Thank you so much for your kind words. And yes, I will absolutely make that video. That’s a great idea. Thank you. Definitely sending you much peace! 🙏🏼
@@DrChristianConte Yes, I'm ASD and so many I have worked with are,,,,,
2,sometimes 4 depending on who it is,think 5 but not because they think or believe something differently. Great video I go slots work to do
A lot not slots
Remember to that if you don't take a stand with what you hold near and dear. Youll ending up being manipulated. Be careful!
This video saved me, this video is very helpful :)
but I have few questions; Is it considered as emotionally immature if a person hurt others, and realized its effects/harm on people, apologized it, and changed as a person. **But** in the end the person will never see a good person in its reflection and will always label themselves as a bad person, permanently. and despite improvement and what people say ("You're a good person") they will see it otherwise?
and for the 2nd question, on the second chapter/sign (2:26 minimizing own mistakes but amplity others) what if its the opposite? Is it still considered as emotionally immature?
great video again, Sorry if these were a confusing question. English isn't my native language
edit: also I completely understand maturity is learning, growing, and changing but just a question out of curiosity. Helpful video as always!!
What if the belief system problem is Domestic? In my relationship. Then we find differences in parenting, how we want to be treated in a relationship.. How do I deal with the anger created in this relationship? Is it possible for the toxic relationship to cause you to become more intolerant and angry? How do you convince the other person this is toxic?
Great list. Just wish my “wife” would watch AND listen AND remember it……. Probably wishful thinking on my part after so many failed promises though
Tolerating other people's opinions is generally good advice, but does the nature of those opinions make a difference?
What's the best way to approach someone who's opinions are hateful, such as a white supremacist?
Or somebody who stubbornly clings to a belief that flies in the face of evidence?
Who do you know that is a white supremacist
@@laylaluann9541 Thankfully, nobody. It was just a deliberately extreme example.
@@laylaluann9541 Just open your eyes.
Believe what you see. If you see/hear a rattlesnake…are you going to try to talk it out of being as it is? If you do that, you’re fighting reality, wasting your time, and possibly going to be hurt.
Same with many people like this. Tolerating doesn’t mean agreement or condoning…it’s merely that you’re not going to lose your sanity over it and engage in pointless discussion
very informative.
#4 is something I should work on improve upon.
#5, #6, there are certain types of behaviors that I see inappropriate to tolerate. But these are extemes.
Great kindness
Well I definitely think some of these patterns lay dormant and only surface for me in a romantic relationship stimulation.
Hello,
Do you provide online therapy? Thank you, and peace.
amazing
Het Doc! Great video. Just found you're channel. Question. Can an upbringing with a detached,abusive father have any bearing on emotional imaturity? Thanks
An emotionally immature person and a narcissist would have a lot in common, what would be the difference? Because it is often said that the difference is that immature people are not financially responsible, but that would be total immature, not just emotional. If he is financially responsible but emotionally immature, would that mean he is a narcissist? And if he is only emotionally immature, is she capable of feeling love?
lovethis
Crazy, you’ve described my dad so accurately. Do you have a video on how to go about living with such a difficult person?
I do have one on how to handle what I call "crisis-prone" individuals, and I definitely think it can be helpful. I appreciate you checking out the channel and I'm definitely sending you all my best and tons of peace!
I think I do all these especially in these highly charged times.
Same
If we’re being honest, I think that’s true for most of us. At least there’s some degree of immaturity in each of the categories. Observe oneself, learn and develop!
This has me thinking is emotional maturity an end destination or is it a constant ebb and flow between mature moments and immature moments? Especially with today's social echo chambers we need lists like this just to help us identify and correct (in my opinion at least). Also I'm seriously guilty of the traffic one
Agree with all comments! At least we're honest.
As Dr Lindsay Gibson says, it’s on a continuum. If we are stressed, hungry, we can display emotional immaturity momentarily…however, we often can stop it quicker, recognize, apologize if necessary.
I think of emotional maturity as resolute mindfulness, living in reality, and equanimity. Emotional immaturity is the opposite. There are many iterations in between!
Why does it take so long to change and so many repetitions of the same mistakes? I am completely aware i am about to make the mistake and I cant control it. I dislike this about myself and want to change so badly and be a pleasant person to be around. But its like Im a slave to my emotions.
Well, time to change now
Oh my gosh! This is my husband to a tee! His anger is out of control and he thinks he is better than everybody on the friggin planet!
Oh no, you're not wrong about this list. I know a toxic narcissist that checks off every 1-7.
Well this explains a lot about the clown world we live in right now. I often think that "stupid" has taken a hold of our country. Where the emotionally immature are the ones in control.
Had a relative who is a professional Psychologist.
He would use dinner party tables as a platform to outline his Patient's maladies.
Be very careful who you open up to folks. Psychologists get off on their letters. Very often they will report to an employer or spouse, whatever you may share under the guise of "Confidential."
Doctors take a superior position even though they have not even done their own work.
I frequently do #2 in reverse
In my opinion, emotional immaturity can be identified in someone who is in a rush to have feelings. When you are desiring to make someone feel a certain way or you feel a certain way about them quickly....you do not give yourself time to understand why you feel that way or whats driving the emotion. Human beings have had emotions since they were infants, yet it isn't until you become an adult and learn to examine why you feel what you feel and regulate these feelings that you become emotionally mature. Emotions are deceivers when you act on them without understanding why you feel that way. They are sources of conflict when they are projected onto others. But by understanding the emotions we all share as humans you grow mature enough to connect or form emotional intelligence which is far more beneficial than emotional maturity. Please dont be offended, this is just an educated opinion.
I have a question…. At what age is your brain fully developed? Also I’m wondering at what age should you start learning more emotional maturity? I know everyones timing in Learning is going to be be different because of circumstances etc etc…. Is there an age?
Generally your brain is “fully developed” mid 20’s. However, this does NOT mean that maturity will be there. Our culture pushes intellectual and social maturity, and often is very deficient in healthy emotional training/modeling.
I’ve met people in their 80’s who were emotionally immature. It has a lot to do with the conditioning, neural pathways, limbic system programs, that began in childhood. All people with emotional immaturity have signs of insecure attachment. So, no matter how fully the brain is developed…there are many factors to consider in regards to what creates emotional maturity/immaturity
what about helping young teens how to mature?
Yep he had em all😂😂😂
I have met bosses with this category 😅
I can take feedback. Their are some people who can't share with you in an appropriate manner.
😂🤣😂 Wow... He seems to be talking about MAJORITY of the people on the LEFT.
You missed the point
Yep !!
@@andrewchavalia9432 entirely
Yes so true...
I'm definitely #7. My wife is the rest lmao
The only way to really feel justified in believing you know better or are smarter is to get educated, learn what truth and knowledge mean (ergo ontology and epistemology), learn logic, and do validated IQ tests (might cost money because only psychologists can administer the most validated tests).
Everything else is likely make believe. I've always wondered how people can be so confidently arrogant and even immoral about their beliefs and thoughts despite never giving rationales or evidence for their case. The evidence they do give is often just argumentative or logical fallacies, and then you realize you should educate this person too much to be bothered to even continue the engagement.
Having listened to, and contemplated these 7 signs, and then having observed modern human behaviour(s) as presented on social media, news media, podcasts, POLITICS, etc., it seems apparent to me that virtually all of society/societies are clearly emotionally immature (EI). This comment is not meant as a judgement of your presentation of the 7 signs, on the contrary because they (the seven signs) seem reasonable enough to me, but, man the scenes of human behaviour flooding the eyeballs these days seems an astonishing indictment of EI. It’s very Sad 😞.
I'm pushing 60, and PPHHhtt! Whatever others think, NOT MY PROBLEM... MAYBE that's the TRUE GIFT of Generation X.
Toddler mentality = yummy-yucky. Most adults who are university graduates continue toddler mentality by changing to the form: "You are either with us or against us!"
this is me. 😭✋🏾 i need jesus. 💀
Great thing is only Mature People Will Get Your Points
❤🤙
I get what you mean about disagreeing, but not every opinion is only grounded in one's own perspective. A lot of them are grounded in truth and fact.
Flat earthers, for example. The earth is most definitely round, that's not just my perspective. Personally I don't care about flat earthers, I think they're funny, but that's a good example of when being disagreed with calls for a little intolerance
Stupidity is infuriating and should not be tolerated by anyone. It may not matter now that someone is an idiot, but idiots breed more idiots, and a world full of idiots will definitely matter in the future. It's already happening
Do you really want your kids growing up in a world where everyone thinks the earth is flat? (Again, just an example)
Damn this is my girlfriend !
I’m immature and I will not to a stuffy adult. Fuck that
You are describing a religious person
Please get to the point quicker. Thank you
number 1 is cognitive/ perspectual immaturity. But go ahead. Im going to sleep.
You're all that and a super-size bag of chips, want to be youtube friends?
This sounds like a narcissist behavior
So Democrats
Every single one of these, you describe liberals