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Hey Familayyy! Long time no see! How is Bride Price practiced in your country/culture and what does it represent? By the way, I don’t mean in any way that everything that is part of our culture is right but we should decide on that after knowing what every cultural practice represents, especially because many of our views may be biased. Now…this was nice and sweet but tune in next week as I talk about all the messed-up things about this beautiful cultural practice called the Bride Price today. Feel free to share your thoughts below and consider subscribing to get notified when I post a new video 💙🇨🇩❤️
The dowry in Africa has no price and it’s traditional and mr.MBAU should know that all women are equal, discrimination is not good at all. Some women from village are even good than those who are in cities. African Women deserve Respect ✊🏿. Thank you so much @Congotalks243 for this video.
Welcome back! First of all, I love the way you described it. « Bride Price » really does not define what it is. As someone from the Lua people, I have seen this be used the way it is meant to be used (the money/gift is given back to the couple), as it was done for my husband and me. But the family one of my older brothers married into treated this as an opportunity to squeeze as much money out of my family as they could - including counting the money in front of the whole gathering and shaming the amount until thousands of dollars more was given! Seeing as the other family was Luba (another Congolese people closely related to mine) they should have known better. And this leads me to my point. Though someone may or may not know the role this “Bride Price” is supposed to play, there are a significant amount of people who are willing to abuse it. And with the influx of “western” understanding of marriage/relationships permeating our minds (ie: the diaspora, of which I am a part), the opportunity to bastardize this practice has only increased. Unless we as a group course-correct, it is only going to be cemented in the minds of the younger generations that it is simply a business transaction. And when we reach that point, it may be time to get rid of it altogether. I hope it doesn’t happen that way but we never know. I also don’t particularly like the sexist vibes the practice gives me. Because the money/gifts are given by the husband’s family (at least the way my family/tribe practices it, some other cultures may do it differently) it is a short leap to the idea that a woman is being bought. Which I believe is how we got to that offensive, sexist, and completely tone deaf proposition in the tweet. But then again, not sure how we can make it more equitable. If anyone has ideas… Looking forward to your next video on this, and thank you for addressing it!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I have been asking quite a few number of people how their “bride price” went and it has been really making me upset to hear stories of how some weddings would have been canceled just because the couple negotiated the amount of money to be paid. I believe the monetary aspect of this practice has to be abolished altogether. The practice (though still compulsory) needs to give grooms the freedom of honouring their brides how they see fit. It is getting out of hand unfortunately.
It's an interesting thing my sister and my new wife from Uzbekistan all went to an auction with my family and my wife did not speak English very well. It was a big auction and a whole apartment full of furniture went for sale and fifty cents $1 it was almost nothing $3. My new wife was so worried about my family going broke and making mistakes with her money because she had been so poor for so long. She was in a huge panic and finally I went to my sister and I said I have to have the ticket so Irina can look at the numbers because she's driving me nuts she thinks you're spending your entire life savings and an auction on junk. I gave my wife the tickets and I let her look at them when my sister spent more at the auction. Then my sister had bought an apartment full of furniture for us and spent $50 half a day's pay. I'm sure the intention is something like that.
Like you already mentioned, it's a ritual. And if you read about cultures you'd understand that rituals have deeper meanings more than they may appear to be. For me, we cannot and should never attach monetary values to issues like this. Our daughters are not being sold, they're simply bridges that unite the two cultures and people. It's even way deeper than what some of us can even explain today.
It is called dowry in Congo(dot) not bride price You have to admit that a lot of Congolese families marrying their girls have exaggerated on the dowry list. We Lubas do not ask much money for the dowry(even tho some living inkinshada have started the trend to ask a lot). The money given is just a symbolic amount. Mu sister dowry was 100$ plus a goat, a chicken, 5 liters of palm oil, a small bag of salt, african prints, head tie and shoes for the mom, a complete suit, and shoes for the dad, 5 cases of soft drinks and 5 cased of beers. Like u said it is 2 families joining. And the family of the wife will buy things to furnish the house usually. Actually i remember my aunt would buy pots and other things for her future house while be engaged. They put it to to 200$ i guess because they presume men in the villages cannot afford paying 500$ like the men in the cities. What was a simple dowry in congo had really hecame a bride price. Peopke asking for unimaginable things like fosse septique lol. They will use their daugter to completely furnish their homes. Askimg for 7000 to 10000 dollars. That is why lots of young peopke do not get married because they cannot afford it. So they just live together withiut being married.
No, it’s actually bride price sis, though we call it Dot. Dowry is usually from the bride’s family to the groom and it is practiced mostly in Asia (unless I'm mistaken). Yes, I admit there are lots of bad practices included in this practice and the crazy demands do not make sense anymore. I have a second video coming up on this. Still, however, I believe that the law suggestion does not make much sense especially because there are different cultures in Congo and they all have different ways that they get their daughters married. I think that independence has to be maintained somehow. Or maybe the law has to be thought about a bit more thoroughly, it sounds too simplistic right now.
Mbote Ndeko! I believe those who live in the city earn more than those living in rural and villages. That's my guess of why the prices are different, I could be wrong.
Mbote ndeko! It could be. But that’s assuming that every woman in the village would marry someone from there. Which sometimes is not the case. Also not everyone in the village earns less than those in the city.
Mbote , good video. I am African American and I believe paying the Bride Price is a good practical way of starting a marriage. I believe that the amount of money is different because people in the cities usually make more money than people who don’t live in the cities. I don’t believe that it means that girls that are not living in the cities are cheaper. It could means that it cost more money to live in the cities. If it cost more money to live in the cities that could mean that I have less money for Bride Price. That my understanding,feel free to correct me if I am wrong.Nzambi a pambola yo
In addition, some women are 'retained' while some are 'married': Seven years of faithful service Jacob gave for Rachel, and the years that he served “seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.” But selfish Laban practiced a cruel deception in substituting Leah for Rachel. The fact that Leah herself was a party to the cheat caused Jacob to feel he could not love her. His indignant rebuke to Laban was met with the offer of Rachel for another seven years’ service. But the father insisted that Leah should not be discarded. Jacob was thus placed in a most painful and trying position: he finally decided to retain Leah and marry Rachel. Rachel was ever the one best-loved, but his life was embittered by the rivalry between the sister-wives. For twenty years Jacob remained in Mesopotamia in the service of Laban, who was bent upon securing to himself all the benefits of their connection. [Today we have parents who exploit their children and use them as retirement funds/asset acquisition--through dowry]. Fourteen years of toil he demanded for his two daughters, and during the remaining period Jacob's wages were ten times changed.
So being from america and learning things about this (which is biblically for one), I understand the “bride price” should have now set price and I believe that the bridegroom should have things in place already to welcome his bride to be for when they become one, such as a home….I agree with you on the feast of families as well. If Im am wrong Sis, please lemme know. ✊🏾
Congratulations on your 5k🎉🎉. Love your video.matondo for the knowledge. I'm haitian but I love the congolese🇨🇩culture. In Haiti the bride price doesn't exist. It's weird because majority of ours ancestors come from the Kingdom of Kongo. I Guess it's because the processus of slavery who had to mission to desafricanize the african. For most haitians today pay to marry to a girl would resume to buy her. I don't If it's because of the story of slavery that used to sell people that we think like that. Looking your video had help me to understand alot more about the meaning of African traditions. Keep the good work ndeko mwasi na nga 👍🏿👍🏿
Thank you so much, and I’m glad you get some cultural insights on here. I think the whole practice has changed a lot because money normally shouldn’t be such a big part of it. It’s supposed to be a gift that the groom himself decides on, depending on how he wants to honour his wife in front of her family. There are a lot of deviations nowadays unfortunately.
In luyia community of western Kenya. Dowry is called "ikhwe" where 'k' is silent. Ikhwe is paid in herds of Cattle. You can pay as much as you can but it is never restricted to a certain number of cattles. The law that guides it is that if for example I don't pay "ikhwe" for my wife my children won't pay or won't be paid for. I would have blocked my descendants. My opinion : Dowry shouldn't be restricted or classified! Mbawu's motion should be killed on arrival.
Longtime soeur kitoko :) A big congrats on 5k subs 🎉🙏🏿🙏🏿 I never understood the logic behind bride price but it's a cultural thing so I have to respect it. Thank you for clarification 👌🏾 I am definitely against the idea of a fixed bride price. My parents told me that bride price is a gift between the two families as a sign of respect and appreciation. If it's a gift then they should not be a fixed price on it. There are situation where bride price appears as a business transaction. Some countries a man has to pay certain amount of money/cows in order to be with the love of his life and if he fails to do so, the bride family are happy to give their daughter away to another family that is capable/afford the bridge price. In a situation like this I feel like it's a business transaction but otherwise I think it's a good thing as long as the families are happy to be joined together by the love of their children.
Thank youuu, ndeko! Yesss, it’s been a while. I’m happy to be back. Yes, actually it is supposed to be a gift and it means different things to different cultures. It’s completely wrong to see that some people may be prevented from being together just because of money and other crazy demands. I will do a part 2 video on this one just for the negatives because I believe they equally have to be talked about.
It might apply to my father's culture when his parents got married but today not so much in the Indian Community in Trinidad from what I have seen. Obviously. In the UK not really at all. Thats something I want to read up on and talk to you about
Hey! I don't know if I am wrong but isn't dowry we should use for it? I know in a lot of cultures (western cultures included) the women will go with something of value in their husband's family (that will someway match their expectations). We do the opposite. The man's family comes with something that should match the expectation, the care that the family has put in their member. It is a gesture of appreciation, as you will gain in return a new member. And on top of that, the bride's family usually has the responsibility of the wedding. At least that is my understanding. Both families have their roles, so it is not really a trade per se but some kind of exchange/alliance
@@Schemetterlia243 That is what it is meant to be, an exchange. But nowadays the crazy demands of the bride’s families make it hard to see it as an exchange.
Putting a tag on it has its uses. I couldn't cart a lot of goats or furniture into a plane, shove them in the overhead bins and expect to reach Isiro without incident.
Fixing the money amount doesn’t sound good to me anyway I’m waiting for the part 2 …but as we all know dowry is just symbolic so fixing the amount is a no for me and worst why this difference based on the location???
It may bes an out dated traditoon I like it, however, it means we have to choose a bride wisely. In dominican repunblic must couple don t get married, they get togher and break up so easily
It’s actually supposed to be a beautiful event where the groom shows appreciation to his bride however he chooses. It does not guarantee a lifelong union but it represents a beautiful symbol of love. Though nowadays there are a lot of deviations.
@@colinreese I haven’t, I’ve just lost some vocabulary because I rarely speak it. Unlike European languages, it’s actually hard not to forget Kikongo because I only speak it when I speak with people back home. It’s just not out there...yet.
So, this ain't happening just in one particular region, it's all over the world and in India it's called dowry. People often confuse this and misunderstood this all time. That's because there are few people out there who really does this as a business. But the truth is totally different, this is a culture of treating groom's family, a woman is considered as goddess herself to the home where she goes after married so it's believed that when a guy marries a woman, she brings all kinds of happiness health and wealth to the family, decades ago they were offering lands of agriculture, cattles and more to the guy's family considering it to bring prosperity among the families. Later they practiced offering gold and it eventually became the tradition. After all it's for their daughter's life, eventually the married couple is going to develop the gift in form of agriculture and growing cattles that yields them food and milk to live without depending on anyone. People are biased to believe only the ugliest part of this which happens at some places but that aint the tradition. Tradition is forgotten and so people don't get to know the real truth. The guy is going to work all his lifetime for this girl and his family for their betterment but no one speaks about that instead they exaggerate dowry as the greatest evil. If the take into account what a man does to the family, the girl's family that offer won't even match a 10% of what he does or what he offers. Idk if you did a part 2 of this, or if you're going to do any more videos about this, I'll be so happy if you convey all these so that people might get to know the truth behind this.
Clearly you did not watch the video and are looking at this from a limited eurocentric perspective. It's not extortion. It's a sign of respect ,and in certain instances , is a means for a man to show that he is capable of taking care of the family and being a provider when done properly and not in an exploitative way. If you do not know something, especially when it comes to cultures that are not your own, don't spread misinformed opinions as facts.
It’s alright to form an option after any research. And it’s okay to accept that not everyone will see things in they way that you see them. Just because it’s culture, doesn’t mean that you have to adapt it into your life. You have to take what you think is good and leave what doesn’t suit you. I am Congolese and I don’t believe that the dowry is a good idea. I think that there are other ways to know that the man will be able to take care of his family. If that’s what it’s truly about…
@@chanceazula8893 True. Not everyone in a culture thinks the same or practice it to the same level.But it is not the place of those who are not a part of the culture to give their unsolicited and unwarranted opinions on cultural matters that do not concern them. They do not have to like or appreciate (or have any emotion regarding)those cultural aspects and traditions but some respect is still needed-within ethical boundaries of course-Those that want to do the bride price or its equivalent in other cultures can do so and those who don't want one are also free to do so.
The dowry in Africa has no price and it’s traditional and mr.MBAU should know that all women are equal, discrimination is not good at all. Some women from village are even good than those who are in cities. African Women deserve Respect ✊🏿. Thank you so much @Congotalks243 for this video.
The funniest thing is the simple fact that that “law” is illegal 😂 Because every citizen is equal under the constitution. We are in trouble if people like that are the ones representing us. Culture aside, the law is just illegal and he should have known better. I believe the thought is coming from a good place but the solution was not well thought through.
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Hey Familayyy! Long time no see!
How is Bride Price practiced in your country/culture and what does it represent?
By the way, I don’t mean in any way that everything that is part of our culture is right but we should decide on that after knowing what every cultural practice represents, especially because many of our views may be biased. Now…this was nice and sweet but tune in next week as I talk about all the messed-up things about this beautiful cultural practice called the Bride Price today. Feel free to share your thoughts below and consider subscribing to get notified when I post a new video 💙🇨🇩❤️
The dowry in Africa has no price and it’s traditional and mr.MBAU should know that all women are equal, discrimination is not good at all. Some women from village are even good than those who are in cities. African Women deserve Respect ✊🏿.
Thank you so much @Congotalks243 for this video.
You look beautiful Ya Felie 😍
Like someone wants to come pay your bride price run 🏃🏾♂️ 🏃🏾♂️ 🏃🏾♂️
😂😂 Ahhhh I guess we never know! 🤩🤎❣️
I'm all for bride price, it is part of our culture. Now and days bride price is given to the new couples to start their life, that I like.
Yes, some people do that now and it is a good thing :)
Congratulations on your 5k milestone sis, welcome back too.
Thank you so much, sis! 🤎
Welcome back! First of all, I love the way you described it. « Bride Price » really does not define what it is.
As someone from the Lua people, I have seen this be used the way it is meant to be used (the money/gift is given back to the couple), as it was done for my husband and me. But the family one of my older brothers married into treated this as an opportunity to squeeze as much money out of my family as they could - including counting the money in front of the whole gathering and shaming the amount until thousands of dollars more was given!
Seeing as the other family was Luba (another Congolese people closely related to mine) they should have known better. And this leads me to my point. Though someone may or may not know the role this “Bride Price” is supposed to play, there are a significant amount of people who are willing to abuse it. And with the influx of “western” understanding of marriage/relationships permeating our minds (ie: the diaspora, of which I am a part), the opportunity to bastardize this practice has only increased. Unless we as a group course-correct, it is only going to be cemented in the minds of the younger generations that it is simply a business transaction. And when we reach that point, it may be time to get rid of it altogether. I hope it doesn’t happen that way but we never know.
I also don’t particularly like the sexist vibes the practice gives me. Because the money/gifts are given by the husband’s family (at least the way my family/tribe practices it, some other cultures may do it differently) it is a short leap to the idea that a woman is being bought. Which I believe is how we got to that offensive, sexist, and completely tone deaf proposition in the tweet. But then again, not sure how we can make it more equitable. If anyone has ideas…
Looking forward to your next video on this, and thank you for addressing it!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I have been asking quite a few number of people how their “bride price” went and it has been really making me upset to hear stories of how some weddings would have been canceled just because the couple negotiated the amount of money to be paid. I believe the monetary aspect of this practice has to be abolished altogether. The practice (though still compulsory) needs to give grooms the freedom of honouring their brides how they see fit. It is getting out of hand unfortunately.
It's an interesting thing my sister and my new wife from Uzbekistan all went to an auction with my family and my wife did not speak English very well. It was a big auction and a whole apartment full of furniture went for sale and fifty cents $1 it was almost nothing $3. My new wife was so worried about my family going broke and making mistakes with her money because she had been so poor for so long. She was in a huge panic and finally I went to my sister and I said I have to have the ticket so Irina can look at the numbers because she's driving me nuts she thinks you're spending your entire life savings and an auction on junk. I gave my wife the tickets and I let her look at them when my sister spent more at the auction. Then my sister had bought an apartment full of furniture for us and spent $50 half a day's pay. I'm sure the intention is something like that.
Like you already mentioned, it's a ritual. And if you read about cultures you'd understand that rituals have deeper meanings more than they may appear to be. For me, we cannot and should never attach monetary values to issues like this. Our daughters are not being sold, they're simply bridges that unite the two cultures and people. It's even way deeper than what some of us can even explain today.
I’m from this same view. Money shouldn’t be a factor.
It is called dowry in Congo(dot) not bride price
You have to admit that a lot of Congolese families marrying their girls have exaggerated on the dowry list. We Lubas do not ask much money for the dowry(even tho some living inkinshada have started the trend to ask a lot). The money given is just a symbolic amount. Mu sister dowry was 100$ plus a goat, a chicken, 5 liters of palm oil, a small bag of salt, african prints, head tie and shoes for the mom, a complete suit, and shoes for the dad, 5 cases of soft drinks and 5 cased of beers.
Like u said it is 2 families joining. And the family of the wife will buy things to furnish the house usually. Actually i remember my aunt would buy pots and other things for her future house while be engaged.
They put it to to 200$ i guess because they presume men in the villages cannot afford paying 500$ like the men in the cities.
What was a simple dowry in congo had really hecame a bride price. Peopke asking for unimaginable things like fosse septique lol. They will use their daugter to completely furnish their homes. Askimg for 7000 to 10000 dollars.
That is why lots of young peopke do not get married because they cannot afford it. So they just live together withiut being married.
No, it’s actually bride price sis, though we call it Dot. Dowry is usually from the bride’s family to the groom and it is practiced mostly in Asia (unless I'm mistaken).
Yes, I admit there are lots of bad practices included in this practice and the crazy demands do not make sense anymore. I have a second video coming up on this.
Still, however, I believe that the law suggestion does not make much sense especially because there are different cultures in Congo and they all have different ways that they get their daughters married. I think that independence has to be maintained somehow. Or maybe the law has to be thought about a bit more thoroughly, it sounds too simplistic right now.
Mbote Ndeko! I believe those who live in the city earn more than those living in rural and villages. That's my guess of why the prices are different, I could be wrong.
Mbote ndeko! It could be. But that’s assuming that every woman in the village would marry someone from there. Which sometimes is not the case. Also not everyone in the village earns less than those in the city.
Mbote , good video. I am African American and I believe paying the Bride Price is a good practical way of starting a marriage. I believe that the amount of money is different because people in the cities usually make more money than people who don’t live in the cities. I don’t believe that it means that girls that are not living in the cities are cheaper. It could means that it cost more money to live in the cities. If it cost more money to live in the cities that could mean that I have less money for Bride Price. That my understanding,feel free to correct me if I am wrong.Nzambi a pambola yo
Yes, I instantly thought about this when I read the tweet. I think that this is a logical point to consider.
In addition, some women are 'retained' while some are 'married': Seven years of faithful service Jacob gave for Rachel, and the years that he served “seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.” But selfish Laban practiced a cruel deception in substituting Leah for Rachel. The fact that Leah herself was a party to the cheat caused Jacob to feel he could not love her. His indignant rebuke to Laban was met with the offer of Rachel for another seven years’ service. But the father insisted that Leah should not be discarded. Jacob was thus placed in a most painful and trying position: he finally decided to retain Leah and marry Rachel. Rachel was ever the one best-loved, but his life was embittered by the rivalry between the sister-wives.
For twenty years Jacob remained in Mesopotamia in the service of Laban, who was bent upon securing to himself all the benefits of their connection. [Today we have parents who exploit their children and use them as retirement funds/asset acquisition--through dowry]. Fourteen years of toil he demanded for his two daughters, and during the remaining period Jacob's wages were ten times changed.
So being from america and learning things about this (which is biblically for one), I understand the “bride price” should have now set price and I believe that the bridegroom should have things in place already to welcome his bride to be for when they become one, such as a home….I agree with you on the feast of families as well. If Im am wrong Sis, please lemme know. ✊🏾
Congratulations on your 5k🎉🎉. Love your video.matondo for the knowledge. I'm haitian but I love the congolese🇨🇩culture. In Haiti the bride price doesn't exist. It's weird because majority of ours ancestors come from the Kingdom of Kongo. I Guess it's because the processus of slavery who had to mission to desafricanize the african. For most haitians today pay to marry to a girl would resume to buy her. I don't If it's because of the story of slavery that used to sell people that we think like that. Looking your video had help me to understand alot more about the meaning of African traditions. Keep the good work ndeko mwasi na nga 👍🏿👍🏿
Thank you so much, and I’m glad you get some cultural insights on here.
I think the whole practice has changed a lot because money normally shouldn’t be such a big part of it. It’s supposed to be a gift that the groom himself decides on, depending on how he wants to honour his wife in front of her family. There are a lot of deviations nowadays unfortunately.
That is actually insulting.
Thought so too!
In luyia community of western Kenya. Dowry is called "ikhwe" where 'k' is silent. Ikhwe is paid in herds of Cattle. You can pay as much as you can but it is never restricted to a certain number of cattles.
The law that guides it is that if for example I don't pay "ikhwe" for my wife my children won't pay or won't be paid for. I would have blocked my descendants.
My opinion : Dowry shouldn't be restricted or classified! Mbawu's motion should be killed on arrival.
I think his suggestion came from a good place but it was not well thought through. I hope they come up with something more equitable.
Nowadays the beauty of a lady is considered when paying bride price 🤤
Longtime soeur kitoko :)
A big congrats on 5k subs 🎉🙏🏿🙏🏿
I never understood the logic behind bride price but it's a cultural thing so I have to respect it.
Thank you for clarification 👌🏾
I am definitely against the idea of a fixed bride price.
My parents told me that bride price is a gift between the two families as a sign of respect and appreciation.
If it's a gift then they should not be a fixed price on it.
There are situation where bride price appears as a business transaction. Some countries a man has to pay certain amount of money/cows in order to be with the love of his life and if he fails to do so, the bride family are happy to give their daughter away to another family that is capable/afford the bridge price.
In a situation like this I feel like it's a business transaction but otherwise I think it's a good thing as long as the families are happy to be joined together by the love of their children.
Thank youuu, ndeko! Yesss, it’s been a while. I’m happy to be back.
Yes, actually it is supposed to be a gift and it means different things to different cultures. It’s completely wrong to see that some people may be prevented from being together just because of money and other crazy demands. I will do a part 2 video on this one just for the negatives because I believe they equally have to be talked about.
Very interesting, only that people have lost mean of it so it’s being rated so sad
I knowww right? Its meaning is lost today
If something has lost its value why continue to defend it…? Is it still valuable in that case?
It might apply to my father's culture when his parents got married but today not so much in the Indian Community in Trinidad from what I have seen. Obviously. In the UK not really at all. Thats something I want to read up on and talk to you about
Super disrespectful 💔💔
But then again some parents exaggerate with the amounts now adays, so I can understand the intention... But still☹️😤
Yes yes, that’s the problem...the exaggerations are all too common now. 🙃🙃
Same as Zulu weddings in SA🇿🇦
How about “Bride gift “ instead of bride price. 🎁
Not a bad idea! :)
Hey! I don't know if I am wrong but isn't dowry we should use for it? I know in a lot of cultures (western cultures included) the women will go with something of value in their husband's family (that will someway match their expectations). We do the opposite. The man's family comes with something that should match the expectation, the care that the family has put in their member. It is a gesture of appreciation, as you will gain in return a new member. And on top of that, the bride's family usually has the responsibility of the wedding. At least that is my understanding. Both families have their roles, so it is not really a trade per se but some kind of exchange/alliance
@@Schemetterlia243 That is what it is meant to be, an exchange. But nowadays the crazy demands of the bride’s families make it hard to see it as an exchange.
Putting a tag on it has its uses. I couldn't cart a lot of goats or furniture into a plane, shove them in the overhead bins and expect to reach Isiro without incident.
Fixing the money amount doesn’t sound good to me anyway I’m waiting for the part 2 …but as we all know dowry is just symbolic so fixing the amount is a no for me and worst why this difference based on the location???
Yeah sis, I don’t like fixing the amount either because different cultures practice it differently :)
It may bes an out dated traditoon I like it, however, it means we have to choose a bride wisely. In dominican repunblic must couple don t get married, they get togher and break up so easily
It’s actually supposed to be a beautiful event where the groom shows appreciation to his bride however he chooses. It does not guarantee a lifelong union but it represents a beautiful symbol of love. Though nowadays there are a lot of deviations.
Is your native language Lingala or Kikongo? Are you in Australia?
My first language was Kikongo.
@@CongoTalks243 How could you forget it? I speak Italian, Spanish, & Brazilian Portuguese, plus a little French.
@@colinreese I haven’t, I’ve just lost some vocabulary because I rarely speak it. Unlike European languages, it’s actually hard not to forget Kikongo because I only speak it when I speak with people back home. It’s just not out there...yet.
So, this ain't happening just in one particular region, it's all over the world and in India it's called dowry. People often confuse this and misunderstood this all time. That's because there are few people out there who really does this as a business.
But the truth is totally different, this is a culture of treating groom's family, a woman is considered as goddess herself to the home where she goes after married so it's believed that when a guy marries a woman, she brings all kinds of happiness health and wealth to the family, decades ago they were offering lands of agriculture, cattles and more to the guy's family considering it to bring prosperity among the families. Later they practiced offering gold and it eventually became the tradition. After all it's for their daughter's life, eventually the married couple is going to develop the gift in form of agriculture and growing cattles that yields them food and milk to live without depending on anyone.
People are biased to believe only the ugliest part of this which happens at some places but that aint the tradition. Tradition is forgotten and so people don't get to know the real truth.
The guy is going to work all his lifetime for this girl and his family for their betterment but no one speaks about that instead they exaggerate dowry as the greatest evil. If the take into account what a man does to the family, the girl's family that offer won't even match a 10% of what he does or what he offers.
Idk if you did a part 2 of this, or if you're going to do any more videos about this, I'll be so happy if you convey all these so that people might get to know the truth behind this.
Absolutely ridiculous that anyone would have to pay the family of another this is extortion
It’s not, it’s culture.
Clearly you did not watch the video and are looking at this from a limited eurocentric perspective. It's not extortion. It's a sign of respect ,and in certain instances , is a means for a man to show that he is capable of taking care of the family and being a provider when done properly and not in an exploitative way.
If you do not know something, especially when it comes to cultures that are not your own, don't spread misinformed opinions as facts.
It’s alright to form an option after any research. And it’s okay to accept that not everyone will see things in they way that you see them. Just because it’s culture, doesn’t mean that you have to adapt it into your life. You have to take what you think is good and leave what doesn’t suit you. I am Congolese and I don’t believe that the dowry is a good idea. I think that there are other ways to know that the man will be able to take care of his family. If that’s what it’s truly about…
@@CongoTalks243
@@chanceazula8893 True. Not everyone in a culture thinks the same or practice it to the same level.But it is not the place of those who are not a part of the culture to give their unsolicited and unwarranted opinions on cultural matters that do not concern them. They do not have to like or appreciate (or have any emotion regarding)those cultural aspects and traditions but some respect is still needed-within ethical boundaries of course-Those that want to do the bride price or its equivalent in other cultures can do so and those who don't want one are also free to do so.
The dowry in Africa has no price and it’s traditional and mr.MBAU should know that all women are equal, discrimination is not good at all. Some women from village are even good than those who are in cities. African Women deserve Respect ✊🏿.
Thank you so much @Congotalks243 for this video.
The funniest thing is the simple fact that that “law” is illegal 😂 Because every citizen is equal under the constitution. We are in trouble if people like that are the ones representing us. Culture aside, the law is just illegal and he should have known better. I believe the thought is coming from a good place but the solution was not well thought through.
Nowadays the beauty of a lady is considered when paying bride price 🤤
Well, that’s one side of the story.
I've never heard that...