Impulsive, the grass is always greener w another person. They think there is a person they will find today that will remove their boredom, and anxieties.
That is so true. My husband left me and move to ATL with a new suply because the woman love to wear name brand and she is a flight attendant and he figured he can travel all around the word. The grass is always greener on the other side in there mind. He became impulsive,paranoid and wicked.
@Raw Motivations My therapist said mine left because I started standing up for myself and setting boundaries and he realized he was useless and I didn't need him so he found someone that did..and once she starts questioning him he'll be on to the next. They really are sad individuals
You give them everything….you give them more until there is nothing left of you to give. Yet they move the goal posts every time. Never enough, not meeting their needs etc etc. I’m 64, married to him for 30 plus years. Definitely broken.
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I used to think that people cheated when they didn't get enough sex. I never said no to my ex-narc because it was extremely incredible. So clearly giving them plenty of sex isn't enough to make them not cheat. They just get bored entirely too fast while we're falling more and more in love with them.
@@athena1047 Haven't experienced anything like that. It is like he dropped off the face of the earth and so did I to him. His reputation in the community is too important to him to do anything ugly.
Wow! "Its not like they look at your innate goodness...you are just an appliance" And they dont get the same bliss from being in love...no joy from knowing or being cared for by a good woman. REVELATION....thank you!
Narcissistic personality disorder really is a form of mental illness. It's easy to forget, but if you're with one, you're with somebody who is mentally ill. They have a very distorted perception of reality and themselves, and as a result have a very distorted view of others. In extreme cases it can seem like psychosis, because the detachment from reality is so great. They're not going to change unless they get years of therapy from a very skilled psychiatrist / psychologist.
Soooooooo another words, "We were just a means to an end". All makes sense now. Thank you for explaining that so eloquently. Many of us, need to understand, "It was never us, it was them". "There was nothing we could do to make it work". I just feel sorry for their next victim. She'll be left wondering, "What she did wrong". Until, he has a string of us, on the line. Then he figures, he can just call and toy with us. Hang up the phone ladies. And stomp out Narcissism.
So true ! It was never us, it was them! They were the ones cheating and deceiving from the start. It took me 7 years to wake up and see what was happening and I am still upset with myself for being so naive and trusting. It has taken years to really accept this and stop blaming myself. I also feel sorry for my ex narc next victim!
@@dlphelan7774 Something happened in a Narc's life, to cause them to rewire themselves. They take that hurt out on other people and won't ever stop. I've run all the different scenarios, that I could have done different. None, of them ever end well. I feel sorry for the next victim too. I talked to his 6th wife; that he sued into bankruptcy. Found his 5th wife in a graveyard. He's moved out to Las Vegas, where he can have an endless supply. We were either smart or God was watching over us. In my case, I think it was the later. Take care!!!
The day we got married, my husband raved on me all the way home. One of the scariest rages ever. He spoiled me before, celebrating occasions and way different. Bam! Just like that, it all stopped.
Perfect assessment! I recall feeling this so strongly during a personal phone call that I signed off sarcastically by saying "nice doing business with you!"
Yes! This is 💯 % their problem. When a narc tries to blame me, I pretend I’m taking their credit card for a purchase and say “I’m sorry, sir but this card is declined. Do you have another form of payment?” 😂
I want to stress to people how important it is to stay safe as you move forward in these relationships. We can not just leave. Life does not work that way. Prepare, stay safe.
Strong commit because that’s exactly how I’ve been feeling.. but truth be told, there is no staying safe with a narcissist! It’s been yearrrrrssssssss but I have to leave
Great advice! If I would have known what they were willing to do to prevent being exposed then I would have never tried to catch her and the neighbor cheating! Installing the security cameras and finally getting video proof of him coming into our house after I left for work only made the situation worse! I found out later that they were trying to set me up and harm me physically. God protected me even though I did not know her ex was trying to kill me. True story. Your right. Be very careful !
I was so lonely in a relationship with the Narc ....at one stage it was like sleeping with a person who never saw me or even cared. no love no hugging, he would give me a peck on the cheek when he went to bed, totally empty, He showed his caring in other ways buying me things ...but all I wanted was a hug so sad. I then found out he had been seeing someone from his past who kept popping into his life we would then break up but he always came back to me and I always took him back (Silly me) I know. It was a never ending circle until I put a stop to it. It took strength and determination to keepaway and sometimes it broke me mentally but I did it and can look back and think what a crazy 3 years I could write a book and things that happened how I felt and what it did to me I now suffer with high blood pressure because of this. Do you see what they do to us and we allow it . its sickening Ive had to evaluate who I am and why I allowed this. I have learnt alot about myself my lack of boundaries /childhood dramas etc I would never put up with anything like this again so maybe he was sent for a reason.
What a great description of the spiral trap they set into place, the one we eventually allow to keep spinning. Well done on all the self work you have seem to have been doing, it cannot of been easy..Best wishes to you in your new calm life x
I have read this same account, over and over, on many of these threads. And I always wonder, were we involved with the same Narc? It's just amazing how similar all these accounts are. The one that broke my hearts name was Rod. Love bombed me, Married me, then hit me the next day. Like you, I would crave a kind word and a hug. I got him out of my house, after 3 weeks, then he wanted 1/2 of everything I owned. Nice guy!!! Then he goes back to his old flame in Fayetteville. But shows her pictures of me on the beach. Dives her so crazy, she gets breast implants. He tells me this. I said, "I feel so sorry for her". He just looked at me, like, "why aren't you enjoying her pain". He'd call and it would keep me in limbo for years. Eventually, I started making my way out of the maze of lies and deceit.
Hi thanks for replying to my words I'm so glad your out too.. its a horrible situation to be in and to get out off., he still haunts my mind. He will txt out of the blue with " hi how you doing" ☺ I never blocked him and I just reply with the one finger emoji. The hardest thing that finished it for me was my mum passed 😢 he never even txt on the day of her funeral 💔 😔 to see if I was OK unbelievable of all the things I went through with hm and forgave him that was the ultimate end for me. Keep strong I'm single and stopping that way enjoying life to the full.
Exactly how it happened to me: every time I needed to bring up an issue I was worried about, (cellphone, coming too late, etc.,) he raged so loud that we were distracted from the issue! Than he turned it around and everything would be my fault because I didn't trust him.😳
All your videos are EXCELLENT and amazingly helpful, Ben. THIS ONE absolutely nails the fundamentals of what it means to be dealing with a narcissist! This is the real deal about the narcissist's TOTALLY DIFFERENT basis for everything they do and don't do, think and don't think, feel and don't feel...ETC. 😳🙃 Crazy-making in the extreme to be dealing with such a person! UNTIL the light is shined on the situation, the way YOU do in this video.💡 ✨ You are in your DHARMA, Ben with the loving gift you are bringing to the world in this channel and your other platforms - MAHALO!!! 🍍🍍🍍 BLESSINGS to you and your family 😘💕😇🌎🌠✨
You always hear that not happy or will never be happy. That standard comes from a normal person's perspective. When somebody is out doing what it is they want to do they are very content with their actions. I think people say that they'll never be happy to make themselves feel better. Now the person that they're with will never be happy.
Great points, Ben. It is just frustrating when you love some for a really long time (over 20 for me). And they discarded you for the new supply that they had in their back pocket. Sucks. Thanks, Ben, for another great video.
THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER. THEY GET THERE AND THEN THEY GET BORED AND KEEP GOING TO THE NEXT SOURCE LOOKING FOR THAT NEXT FIX THAT IS ONLY TEMPORARY!
It's amazingl to HEAR it I can't quite label the feeling But.. . One thing is to LIVE it.. . And another to HEAR it from you! :/ To learn about it & hear the backround to all the BS we've been through - Tge reasons & excuses - The reality we wonder about & question ourselves.. . Constantly! There's some comfort in knowing you're not the only one going through this.. . We're NOT Crazy!! ThankU for the lessons & support Ben!!🙏
Ben!!! Do you know how much you’ve helped me heal from the nightmare I was in!! Thank you soo much sir for doing this. God bless you. Wishing you the very best in your life .
Man thank you so much for making these videos..they are such a warm comfort whe your feeling lonely and low. The videos i can say word for word with you just because of my experiences ive been through and am currently trying to get out of..they help me to not feel like im crazy and feels good to know im not alone ❤ your a good dude Ben!!
I'm happy to hear that you're finding our content valuable! I'd like to extend an invitation for you to join our free masterclass. In it, we'll explore methods for breaking free from toxic relationships. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.
They are not able to honor and respect their partner. . Well they are in relationships with their mothers in their heads. There's no such thing as partner, only the narc exist and his momy..
A Narcissist doesn't like to ask for anything, so rather than ask for a particular sexual act they go out looking for other forms of supply who will do things the others don't as they like to come across as being the know all confident perfect lover. 🍒
This is so true, my narc had a particular kink that he confided in me once but he never asked for it. I was willing to do it for him and initiated it a couple times but I always had the feeling it made him uncomfortable or ashamed. The sex was never good. I always had a suspicion he liked to use the kink to make me wonder if I was went fulfilling him and to build insecurity. And it wasn’t just sex where that applied in my relationship either. He never really expressed his needs, he didn’t get mad at me for not doing something he wanted, he just didn’t say anything which is worse.
Does the narc make you feel like you the only one they fought with or were cruel to? I hear that a lot. "I've never fought with anyone else, your the problem " yet, only one relationship in his 55 yrs lasted over 3 yrs.
Mighty Mouse : i can relate that is exactly I was told by a Narc that she never had any fights or issues with her past relationships that i was the first cause i had issues . Hummmm what a sickness...
Mine was married three times,once when we first met,slipped his mind because she cheated and left him 🙄 She sent divorce papers, and I got them shocking, to say the least. Extreme emotional abuse,yeah, I should have ran away.We broke up he said he was devastated and stayed alone for a few years. Sure, he was.He then said he got married because she made him 🙄 She was an alcoholic allegedly, and how wife number 3 came in the picture who knows.He was getting up in age, and his choices were apparently slim.He would have never dated wife 2 or 3 in the past,he didn't care for overweight women.He said wife 3 was a raging narcissist,alcoholic and drug user.I don't really know or care.The only family he has is whichever one he attaches himself to by dating or marrying them.I truly thought he changed after all these years he just got older,more bitter and better at causing hurt
I heard the exact same thing. He would tell me that he didn’t have fights with his exes. I told him once that he is emotionally abusive. His response was that no one else ever told him that and that I’m just mentally disturbed.
Absolutely the best description of a narcissist I’ve heard in a long time! Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us every day on all these platforms. I have learned so much from you and I’m truly grateful..keep it going please. God Bless you for what you do 🙏🏻🥰
I'm really glad I came across your channel cause I've watched at least 7 of them back to back and everyone of them was very helpful, so thank you for sharing your insight to help heal and restore those wounded by these personality types so thank you thank you thank you!!!! It's been three and a half years I have been dealing with a toxic malignant narcissistic personality type and three of those years.... I've been trying to walk away from this relationship. I've pretty much experienced every video topic you have on your platform personally... Since unfortunately right before I met him I was coming from a toxic sociopathic covert narcissistic personality type he was only two and a half months my boyfriend but he stuck around in my life for almost a year after broke up. I'm definitely not proud of my taste in men these past years since I have experience real love in my past. I just want to get there again in that healthy safe place with a man that I can trust and that I know feels mutual love for me and my son. I am trying no contact with this man and I am feeling the dysfunctional withdrawals of feeling that I need him in my life when I know it's a victory to get him out. 😊 🎉
I'm still working through the revelations that my husband was a functioning (also retired combat vet w/ A LOT of Rage/ Jealousy Issues) alcoholic and then had an on/off mistress who was a con artist who survived by getting $ from her 'male friends) which explains Everything @ my life with my Narc Husband; he was always somewhere in a Constant Rage cycle; I was leveled by finding out his unfaithfulness and Constant (what I now know...) NEED for attention outside our marriage
It's tough and i hope you are doing better . Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at www.calendly.com/rawmotivations
Thank you for the Videos everything makes sense know, Been in a relationship with my ex husband for 14 off and on ,he was always so suspicious with his phone found him on many different dating sides.i would question him and he would always blame me for not doing enough for him he said I was not classy enough ,not smart enough I was not able stimulate him .know I understand is not my fault I try everything to make him happy but it was not enough it will never be enough ,
They are the most creative cheaters. You think these people are working, they even bring home fake documents, yet they're cheating. It blows my mind how much effort they put into cheating and lying 😒
Your right, seems like an obsession with a Narc. Worst, when you lie & cheat, you have to constantly keep up with covering it all. Exhausting!! Whew!! SMDHEAD
All true😮they are sooo insecure and cannot live without the praise and admiration of other people😂😂it is laughable ,the constant worry whether or not he or she is cheating is a bloody nightmare😮😮 sometimes one feels like screaming : " man ,just leave me if you prefer other people,what the heck,the not knowing ,just guessing is heart wrecking and breaks you in the end....take the elephant out of the room😂😂😂😂😂
I know he is talking about people being viewed as appliances.... but I have to say that my X had a wierd relationship with actual appliances to. I always found it wierd how mad he would get when an appliance wasnt tailored to his specific requirements. Like he decided exactly how an appliance should work and get really mad when it didnt. Not bad quality items either, just anything that didnt fit his specification. Normal people would assume they had chosen the incorrect appliance for their needs or adapt to how it works. Sooo... if thats he views people too.. that really says something 😅
Right on point 👉👉👉👉l was that appliance. He told me his commitment was with me but he was cheating left and right. I felt so lonely when I was married to my ex narc husband. I thank God for delivering me 🙏 and my family 🙏 praises to the most high God 🙏 our Lord 🙏 Jesus Christ son of God 🙏🙏🙏
It's never too late to begin your healing journey! Join our free masterclass and discover how to break free from toxic relationships here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..
Loved "a appliance", lmao Ben, 🤣 truth, but this 1?, Computer Science degreed, clueless to what TTYL means! There so busy covering their 👣 tracks, they miss the simplest things.
My loved to run into the bathroom and start texting other women in the bathroom. When I was over his house and when I was sleeping, he would text other women too. He was on several dating sites, all the time too. He could have four women living under his roof and that still wouldn't be enough at all. He's a complete sex addict! He would even rub it in my face, how many other women he was sleeping with or talking to behind my back. Nothing is good enough for him at all.
Glad I found this channel. Really trying to make sense of it. Wishing I could get over, through or at least around it all. I spent a good amount of time learning it's not all my fault and forgiving the part that was.
When they try to blame you for everything, pretend to take their credit card to swipe for a purchase. Say, “I’m sorry sir but your card is declined.” They try to blame again - ‘sir, I’ll try it again. It still says declined.’
Ben, I know you often address when people (like me) say: “I’m really confident my person didn’t cheat,” but I found he was oddly preoccupied with loyalty-almost to the point of obsession. And truth telling…so long as he could determine the reality the truth lived in (shifting goal posts if that makes sense). Do you think there are types of narcissists that don’t fall into these categories because of preoccupation with certain morality concepts…and why would they be so obsessed with these concepts if they don’t have a strong moral compass?
Today i recieved a letter with a birthday card. Hy told me. How hé missed me. We have 7 weeks. No contact. After he cheated my with multiple woman. But now i don,t no what to do...😔
Pretend in your head it's a nice gesture from a new person you like , but then throw it away so it's not in sight and brining up feelings..and then refuse all feelings of interacting with the past person who cheated. They will do it again. 🙏 stay safe friend 💗
@@annettedevries7559 Take it from someone who’s been through it, if you fall for a hoover & take them back, they are gonna treat you 10 times worse, and those 7 weeks of no contact will be lost and you’ll be back at square one. 7 weeks no contact is a great start & it will keep getting easier. If you feel tempted, keep watching as many narc videos as possible until you’re convinced. Best of luck to you, stay safe & strong 💪❤️
Run ...run from a narc...they will never change after youve left the marriage etc u stop start to look at people differently they lie lie lie even for the smallest thing and they gaslight gaslight u begin to question your reality....narcissists seek validation and admiration from the world they literally have no soul or humanity
@@rockybalboa4593 yeah she mentioned it I looked it up found some info and it’s all me … I was already feeling and talking about this alter ego I felt I had it felt like a different personality of some kind.. best quote I heard that described me was “Narcissist are empty souls looking for supply” bingo that’s when I realized what I was what my problem has been along
So right now my boyfriend told me when I get back there we will have an amazing relationship and I would be his queen forever if I just don't mess it up he just text me today he said we are just friends we are not a couple then he ghost me so he won't even answer the phone or text me I want to ask him what is going on but flat line so once again I'm on my own by myself
Yes when I got with my boyfriend he wanted to marry me I thought I was In a fairy tale he was amazing I moved to a different state to be with him my mom passed and brought everything I own after I got here I dint have a job he told me he didn't care if I had two pennys to rub together a man should support a women but I had my inherentance I had to put the down payment on our place pay rent was to high he gave me 500 a month sometimes I paid 1300 and bought food electricity was great for a 7 months then he got mad for no reason I went to the store with his friends wife or out for lunch he was calling me constantly he wanted me home as soon as he got there so I had to hurry he timed me all the time then he started becoming distant so he would sit out side smoking his cig something wasn't right he started having highs and lows and sometimes he was great but other times I felt alone we have broke up and then got back together so Many times then he didn't want to get married I was then his girl friend then I was his friend but he had to know what I was doing no matter what I thought I was going crazy my heart was so broken he didn't care at all he became cold it was like I was with a vampire he wanted me to suck my soul out then he was done I could go when I got on my feet he wanted me back and I thought I could Handel it but I never can because the deep love I have for him is uncontrollable its like I'm addicted to him never was in a thing like this ever before
He cheats with his spouse and on his spouse - Sick!! He cheats online - so there is A Lot of future faking - promises of Meeting Ad having a wonderful life - but He is Never going to leave his Main Supply- his wife of 30+ years - why should he, he has a Play ground on internet and to him, it’s not physical so it’s Not Cheating!
I TOLD HIM I WAS BORED WITH HIM. HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SINCE!😊
I'm gonna try this
Impulsive, the grass is always greener w another person. They think there is a person they will find today that will remove their boredom, and anxieties.
Right, always onto the next relationship/person.
That is so true. My husband left me and move to ATL with a new suply because the woman love to wear name brand and she is a flight attendant and he figured he can travel all around the word. The grass is always greener on the other side in there mind. He became impulsive,paranoid and wicked.
@@picturepurrfect8237 if he would have just watered his own grass!!! So sad...what a damn fool...
@Raw Motivations My therapist said mine left because I started standing up for myself and setting boundaries and he realized he was useless and I didn't need him so he found someone that did..and once she starts questioning him he'll be on to the next. They really are sad individuals
@@danieladegan8106yep going thru similar
You give them everything….you give them more until there is nothing left of you to give. Yet they move the goal posts every time. Never enough, not meeting their needs etc etc. I’m 64, married to him for 30 plus years. Definitely broken.
It's never too late to begin your healing journey! Join our free masterclass and discover how to break free from toxic relationships here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..
Because fidelity is a high vibe & narcissism is a low vibe.
Don't ask me to lower My vibration... up Yours!
Great point! I also see it as good (high vibes) vs. evil ( low vibes) .
So true. Can't be honest and a pathological liar.
Wow 🤬
I used to think that people cheated when they didn't get enough sex. I never said no to my ex-narc because it was extremely incredible. So clearly giving them plenty of sex isn't enough to make them not cheat. They just get bored entirely too fast while we're falling more and more in love with them.
The same here.
Same here.
Once you cut it off, things get ugly. Be careful.
@@athena1047 Haven't experienced anything like that. It is like he dropped off the face of the earth and so did I to him. His reputation in the community is too important to him to do anything ugly.
What you're saying I can completely agree and relate to.
Wow! "Its not like they look at your innate goodness...you are just an appliance" And they dont get the same bliss from being in love...no joy from knowing or being cared for by a good woman. REVELATION....thank you!
Narcissistic personality disorder really is a form of mental illness. It's easy to forget, but if you're with one, you're with somebody who is mentally ill. They have a very distorted perception of reality and themselves, and as a result have a very distorted view of others. In extreme cases it can seem like psychosis, because the detachment from reality is so great. They're not going to change unless they get years of therapy from a very skilled psychiatrist / psychologist.
That’s pretty pathetic and pitiful. Thank goodness people like us know what love truly is.
Faithfulness is emotional commitment and narcs not bonded but make us trauma bonded
Soooooooo another words, "We were just a means to an end". All makes sense now. Thank you for explaining that so eloquently. Many of us, need to understand, "It was never us, it was them". "There was nothing we could do to make it work". I just feel sorry for their next victim. She'll be left wondering, "What she did wrong". Until, he has a string of us, on the line. Then he figures, he can just call and toy with us. Hang up the phone ladies. And stomp out Narcissism.
So true ! It was never us, it was them! They were the ones cheating and deceiving from the start. It took me 7 years to wake up and see what was happening and I am still upset with myself for being so naive and trusting. It has taken years to really accept this and stop blaming myself. I also feel sorry for my ex narc next victim!
@@dlphelan7774 Something happened in a Narc's life, to cause them to rewire themselves. They take that hurt out on other people and won't ever stop. I've run all the different scenarios, that I could have done different. None, of them ever end well. I feel sorry for the next victim too. I talked to his 6th wife; that he sued into bankruptcy. Found his 5th wife in a graveyard. He's moved out to Las Vegas, where he can have an endless supply. We were either smart or God was watching over us. In my case, I think it was the later. Take care!!!
The day we got married, my husband raved on me all the way home. One of the scariest rages ever. He spoiled me before, celebrating occasions and way different. Bam! Just like that, it all stopped.
I like to say "transactional"... everyone is like a trasaction to them and thats all it is😢
Perfect assessment! I recall feeling this so strongly during a personal phone call that I signed off sarcastically by saying "nice doing business with you!"
Thank you for that. Its makes alot of sense. Its horrible, and sad, to see myself through this.
They need continuous supply forever. It’s that messed up. Stop asking yourself why. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.🤡👈🏻
correct
Yes! This is 💯 % their problem. When a narc tries to blame me, I pretend I’m taking their credit card for a purchase and say “I’m sorry, sir but this card is declined. Do you have another form of payment?” 😂
I want to stress to people how important it is to stay safe as you move forward in these relationships. We can not just leave. Life does not work that way. Prepare, stay safe.
Strong commit because that’s exactly how I’ve been feeling.. but truth be told, there is no staying safe with a narcissist! It’s been yearrrrrssssssss but I have to leave
Great advice! If I would have known what they were willing to do to prevent being exposed then I would have never tried to catch her and the neighbor cheating! Installing the security cameras and finally getting video proof of him coming into our house after I left for work only made the situation worse! I found out later that they were trying to set me up and harm me physically. God protected me even though I did not know her ex was trying to kill me. True story. Your right. Be very careful !
Toxic women need to be addressed …. They are out there !
He’s not only addressing men. Narcissists come in every gender.
@lisa3582 According to statistics, half of narcisists are women. The gender of narcisism is equally distributed.
I was so lonely in a relationship with the Narc ....at one stage it was like sleeping with a person who never saw me or even cared. no love no hugging, he would give me a peck on the cheek when he went to bed, totally empty, He showed his caring in other ways buying me things ...but all I wanted was a hug so sad. I then found out he had been seeing someone from his past who kept popping into his life we would then break up but he always came back to me and I always took him back (Silly me) I know. It was a never ending circle until I put a stop to it. It took strength and determination to keepaway and sometimes it broke me mentally but I did it and can look back and think what a crazy 3 years I could write a book and things that happened how I felt and what it did to me I now suffer with high blood pressure because of this. Do you see what they do to us and we allow it . its sickening
Ive had to evaluate who I am and why I allowed this. I have learnt alot about myself my lack of boundaries /childhood dramas etc I would never put up with anything like this again so maybe he was sent for a reason.
Same
What a great description of the spiral trap they set into place, the one we eventually allow to keep spinning. Well done on all the self work you have seem to have been doing, it cannot of been easy..Best wishes to you in your new calm life x
I'm a 100% rite with u..
I have read this same account, over and over, on many of these threads. And I always wonder, were we involved with the same Narc? It's just amazing how similar all these accounts are. The one that broke my hearts name was Rod. Love bombed me, Married me, then hit me the next day. Like you, I would crave a kind word and a hug. I got him out of my house, after 3 weeks, then he wanted 1/2 of everything I owned. Nice guy!!! Then he goes back to his old flame in Fayetteville. But shows her pictures of me on the beach. Dives her so crazy, she gets breast implants. He tells me this. I said, "I feel so sorry for her". He just looked at me, like, "why aren't you enjoying her pain". He'd call and it would keep me in limbo for years. Eventually, I started making my way out of the maze of lies and deceit.
Hi thanks for replying to my words I'm so glad your out too.. its a horrible situation to be in and to get out off., he still haunts my mind. He will txt out of the blue with " hi how you doing" ☺ I never blocked him and I just reply with the one finger emoji. The hardest thing that finished it for me was my mum passed 😢 he never even txt on the day of her funeral 💔 😔 to see if I was OK unbelievable of all the things I went through with hm and forgave him that was the ultimate end for me. Keep strong I'm single and stopping that way enjoying life to the full.
It's funny to me how a narcissist can turn on and off like a computer 🖥️ it's like their not a real human being.
Wow they are completely delusional, they want what they want, so many of them around, I am seeing them so much now
Exactly how it happened to me: every time I needed to bring up an issue I was worried about, (cellphone, coming too late, etc.,) he raged so loud that we were distracted from the issue! Than he turned it around and everything would be my fault because I didn't trust him.😳
All your videos are EXCELLENT and amazingly helpful, Ben. THIS ONE absolutely nails the fundamentals of what it means to be dealing with a narcissist!
This is the real deal about the narcissist's TOTALLY DIFFERENT basis for everything they do and don't do, think and don't think, feel and don't feel...ETC.
😳🙃 Crazy-making in the extreme to be dealing with such a person! UNTIL the light is shined on the situation, the way YOU do in this video.💡 ✨
You are in your DHARMA, Ben with the loving gift you are bringing to the world in this channel and your other platforms - MAHALO!!! 🍍🍍🍍 BLESSINGS to you and your family
😘💕😇🌎🌠✨
Gosh this is absolutely what I'm going through. EXACTLY!!!!!!
Hi I would like to inviteyou to our free masterclass to break free from toxic relationship. Here is the link www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass
Yes.. they seem great at first then you see the pattern of behavior. Whatever my ex did in our marriage, he did in his first marriage also.
I hope you are recovering well
Omg this is so true,am going through this now .What he did to me is exactly what he did to his first wife .
@@RawMotivations yes I am been 5 yrs no contact
I too I'm a narrsassistic it's hard to look back and kinda know u messed up people for life
Same brother 😢 don’t know if I can ever be fixed at this point
You always hear that not happy or will never be happy. That standard comes from a normal person's perspective. When somebody is out doing what it is they want to do they are very content with their actions. I think people say that they'll never be happy to make themselves feel better. Now the person that they're with will never be happy.
They might be enjoying themselves but they definitely aren’t happy- my covert narc ex was miserable though he indulged himself in drugs, food, etc
Great points, Ben. It is just frustrating when you love some for a really long time (over 20 for me). And they discarded you for the new supply that they had in their back pocket. Sucks. Thanks, Ben, for another great video.
THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER. THEY GET THERE AND THEN THEY GET BORED AND KEEP GOING TO THE NEXT SOURCE LOOKING FOR THAT NEXT FIX THAT IS ONLY TEMPORARY!
It's amazingl to HEAR it
I can't quite label the feeling
But.. . One thing is to LIVE it.. .
And another to HEAR it from you! :/
To learn about it & hear the backround to all the BS we've been through - Tge reasons & excuses - The reality we wonder about & question ourselves.. . Constantly! There's some comfort in knowing you're not the only one going through this.. . We're NOT Crazy!! ThankU for the lessons & support Ben!!🙏
Thank you for your comment, I appreciate it. Yes you are not crazy and let's continue to spread awareness. Share this to your friends/family.
Ben!!! Do you know how much you’ve helped me heal from the nightmare I was in!! Thank you soo much sir for doing this. God bless you. Wishing you the very best in your life .
Im happy to hear it!
Man thank you so much for making these videos..they are such a warm comfort whe your feeling lonely and low. The videos i can say word for word with you just because of my experiences ive been through and am currently trying to get out of..they help me to not feel like im crazy and feels good to know im not alone ❤ your a good dude Ben!!
I'm happy to hear that you're finding our content valuable! I'd like to extend an invitation for you to join our free masterclass. In it, we'll explore methods for breaking free from toxic relationships. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.
They are not able to honor and respect their partner. . Well they are in relationships with their mothers in their heads. There's no such thing as partner, only the narc exist and his momy..
A Narcissist doesn't like to ask for anything, so rather than ask for a particular sexual act they go out looking for other forms of supply who will do things the others don't as they like to come across as being the know all confident perfect lover. 🍒
the ego and pride.
This is so true, my narc had a particular kink that he confided in me once but he never asked for it. I was willing to do it for him and initiated it a couple times but I always had the feeling it made him uncomfortable or ashamed. The sex was never good. I always had a suspicion he liked to use the kink to make me wonder if I was went fulfilling him and to build insecurity. And it wasn’t just sex where that applied in my relationship either. He never really expressed his needs, he didn’t get mad at me for not doing something he wanted, he just didn’t say anything which is worse.
That just happened me.
Ben, you're the only one that talks about the cheating narcicisst! You brought me to that light.
Does the narc make you feel like you the only one they fought with or were cruel to?
I hear that a lot. "I've never fought with anyone else, your the problem " yet, only one relationship in his 55 yrs lasted over 3 yrs.
Yes, mine claimed this, too, because I had no old girlfriends to compare notes with.
Mighty Mouse : i can relate that is exactly I was told by a Narc that she never had any fights or issues with her past relationships that i was the first cause i had issues . Hummmm what a sickness...
YES! Although he said ALL his exes were crazy from the start…when we had fights he would always say that he never had this problem with his exes.
Mine was married three times,once when we first met,slipped his mind because she cheated and left him 🙄 She sent divorce papers, and I got them shocking, to say the least. Extreme emotional abuse,yeah, I should have ran away.We broke up he said he was devastated and stayed alone for a few years. Sure, he was.He then said he got married because she made him 🙄 She was an alcoholic allegedly, and how wife number 3 came in the picture who knows.He was getting up in age, and his choices were apparently slim.He would have never dated wife 2 or 3 in the past,he didn't care for overweight women.He said wife 3 was a raging narcissist,alcoholic and drug user.I don't really know or care.The only family he has is whichever one he attaches himself to by dating or marrying them.I truly thought he changed after all these years he just got older,more bitter and better at causing hurt
I heard the exact same thing. He would tell me that he didn’t have fights with his exes. I told him once that he is emotionally abusive. His response was that no one else ever told him that and that I’m just mentally disturbed.
Absolutely the best description of a narcissist I’ve heard in a long time! Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us every day on all these platforms. I have learned so much from you and I’m truly grateful..keep it going please. God Bless you for what you do 🙏🏻🥰
I think they cheat for the thrill, to feel alive. It doesn’t have to do with their partner, they don’t have impulse control.
I've left 60 times and this time I see more than ever how much of a narcissist he is. Its so hard to let go. Every point you have said is 1000%
Stay strong survivor. You will get to that point. When you’re done, you’re done.
Yeah,I certainly didnt know what I was in for when I got married.
When we figure them out and see the person behind the mask, then, off they go to fill up with new and different supply.
I'm really glad I came across your channel cause I've watched at least 7 of them back to back and everyone of them was very helpful, so thank you for sharing your insight to help heal and restore those wounded by these personality types so thank you thank you thank you!!!!
It's been three and a half years I have been dealing with a toxic malignant narcissistic personality type and three of those years.... I've been trying to walk away from this relationship. I've pretty much experienced every video topic you have on your platform personally... Since unfortunately right before I met him I was coming from a toxic sociopathic covert narcissistic personality type he was only two and a half months my boyfriend but he stuck around in my life for almost a year after broke up.
I'm definitely not proud of my taste in men these past years since I have experience real love in my past. I just want to get there again in that healthy safe place with a man that I can trust and that I know feels mutual love for me and my son. I am trying no contact with this man and I am feeling the dysfunctional withdrawals of feeling that I need him in my life when I know it's a victory to get him out. 😊
🎉
It's true what u said today about cheating ,I have seen photos of him and someone alse that could be his mom, doing things with each other.
GREAT WORK BEN, ALL INCLUSIVE IT IS. 👏👍 The realities are revelations into the mind of a Narc. Truth.
My narc seems to rnjoy when I act like I'm better than him in public. But to do that I need to act distant, act like someone I'm not.
I'm still working through the revelations that my husband was a functioning (also retired combat vet w/ A LOT of Rage/ Jealousy Issues) alcoholic and then had an on/off mistress who was a con artist who survived by getting $ from her 'male friends) which explains Everything @ my life with my Narc Husband; he was always somewhere in a Constant Rage cycle; I was leveled by finding out his unfaithfulness and Constant (what I now know...) NEED for attention outside our marriage
It's tough and i hope you are doing better . Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at www.calendly.com/rawmotivations
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Can't imagine a life like that. Glad you're doing well
Thank you! How to I avoid coming back. It's definitely trauma bond!
Thank you for the Videos everything makes sense know, Been in a relationship with my ex husband for 14 off and on ,he was always so suspicious with his phone found him on many different dating sides.i would question him and he would always blame me for not doing enough for him he said I was not classy enough ,not smart enough I was not able stimulate him .know I understand is not my fault I try everything to make him happy but it was not enough it will never be enough ,
They are the most creative cheaters. You think these people are working, they even bring home fake documents, yet they're cheating. It blows my mind how much effort they put into cheating and lying 😒
Your right, seems like an obsession with a Narc. Worst, when you lie & cheat, you have to constantly keep up with covering it all. Exhausting!! Whew!! SMDHEAD
Yes! It must be exhausting! I still don’t feel sorry for the POS.
My ex husband narcissist was a serial cheater. So disgusting. 🤮💩
@@munchey99508 most of them are serial cheaters.
All true😮they are sooo insecure and cannot live without the praise and admiration of other people😂😂it is laughable ,the constant worry whether or not he or she is cheating is a bloody nightmare😮😮 sometimes one feels like screaming : " man ,just leave me if you prefer other people,what the heck,the not knowing ,just guessing is heart wrecking and breaks you in the end....take the elephant out of the room😂😂😂😂😂
Very informative
Thank you!
I know he is talking about people being viewed as appliances.... but I have to say that my X had a wierd relationship with actual appliances to. I always found it wierd how mad he would get when an appliance wasnt tailored to his specific requirements. Like he decided exactly how an appliance should work and get really mad when it didnt. Not bad quality items either, just anything that didnt fit his specification. Normal people would assume they had chosen the incorrect appliance for their needs or adapt to how it works. Sooo... if thats he views people too.. that really says something 😅
Right on point 👉👉👉👉l was that appliance. He told me his commitment was with me but he was cheating left and right. I felt so lonely when I was married to my ex narc husband. I thank God for delivering me 🙏 and my family 🙏 praises to the most high God 🙏 our Lord 🙏 Jesus Christ son of God 🙏🙏🙏
It's never too late to begin your healing journey! Join our free masterclass and discover how to break free from toxic relationships here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..
Loved "a appliance", lmao Ben, 🤣 truth, but this 1?, Computer Science degreed, clueless to what TTYL means! There so busy covering their 👣 tracks, they miss the simplest things.
My loved to run into the bathroom and start texting other women in the bathroom. When I was over his house and when I was sleeping, he would text other women too. He was on several dating sites, all the time too. He could have four women living under his roof and that still wouldn't be enough at all. He's a complete sex addict! He would even rub it in my face, how many other women he was sleeping with or talking to behind my back. Nothing is good enough for him at all.
Beautifully stated.
Thank you kindly!
Glad I found this channel. Really trying to make sense of it. Wishing I could get over, through or at least around it all. I spent a good amount of time learning it's not all my fault and forgiving the part that was.
Glad you enjoy it!
Or friends with benefits.
Another excellent video! Exactly what I needed to hear.
So glad!
I get it!👍🏾
Literally the more videos I watch the more I realize my boyfriend is definitely probably cheating on me. I am so upset
He always wants me to clean his apartment.
Narcs make you do the work i think most of my videos here will give you more understanding and hopefully get your questions answered
Great advice
When they try to blame you for everything, pretend to take their credit card to swipe for a purchase. Say, “I’m sorry sir but your card is declined.” They try to blame again - ‘sir, I’ll try it again. It still says declined.’
What a miserable life! Sad way of living.
Ben, I know you often address when people (like me) say: “I’m really confident my person didn’t cheat,” but I found he was oddly preoccupied with loyalty-almost to the point of obsession. And truth telling…so long as he could determine the reality the truth lived in (shifting goal posts if that makes sense). Do you think there are types of narcissists that don’t fall into these categories because of preoccupation with certain morality concepts…and why would they be so obsessed with these concepts if they don’t have a strong moral compass?
Today i recieved a letter with a birthday card. Hy told me. How hé missed me. We have 7 weeks. No contact. After he cheated my with multiple woman. But now i don,t no what to do...😔
It’s a hoover, ignore it!!! 🙅🏼♀️
@@missbrooke666 yes. Thank you
Pretend in your head it's a nice gesture from a new person you like , but then throw it away so it's not in sight and brining up feelings..and then refuse all feelings of interacting with the past person who cheated. They will do it again. 🙏 stay safe friend 💗
@@solserpent1177 thank you.
@@annettedevries7559 Take it from someone who’s been through it, if you fall for a hoover & take them back, they are gonna treat you 10 times worse, and those 7 weeks of no contact will be lost and you’ll be back at square one. 7 weeks no contact is a great start & it will keep getting easier. If you feel tempted, keep watching as many narc videos as possible until you’re convinced. Best of luck to you, stay safe & strong 💪❤️
Run ...run from a narc...they will never change after youve left the marriage etc u stop start to look at people differently they lie lie lie even for the smallest thing and they gaslight gaslight u begin to question your reality....narcissists seek validation and admiration from the world they literally have no soul or humanity
Everyday he does this gone from 4 to 12pm and gets mad when I ask him he got mad at me.
Ben question to ask, how do you know when the narcissist is serious on doing therepy?
When they do it on their own, give you space to heal and are
Honest long term
Yes.The chase,get the married woman,destroy her marriage,discard her with disdain.And jump to the next.I,his wife,was shown this at a party.
This has been me .. I’m just trying survive :( but I’m hurting my wife what should I do .. I feel horrible but can seem to stop
How did you discover narcissism? Did she call you a narcissist?
@@rockybalboa4593 yeah she mentioned it I looked it up found some info and it’s all me … I was already feeling and talking about this alter ego I felt I had it felt like a different personality of some kind.. best quote I heard that described me was “Narcissist are empty souls looking for supply” bingo that’s when I realized what I was what my problem has been along
What if there addict to sex,drugs, and more.
Hope this video answers your question th-cam.com/video/AqCdCqXV4gA/w-d-xo.html
Not usually i do not believe that they can be. But they will not admit this of course even if caught....
Right!
So right now my boyfriend told me when I get back there we will have an amazing relationship and I would be his queen forever if I just don't mess it up he just text me today he said we are just friends we are not a couple then he ghost me so he won't even answer the phone or text me I want to ask him what is going on but flat line so once again I'm on my own by myself
HAHA!...THE STORE!!
Always cheating
Whats their void about???
Their void is a dark empty hole within which they can never fulfill. No self love because they cannot love.
They need untainted supply. Someone who can validate their false self.
right
So @ raw motivation do u think being a narcissist is a mental or personality disorder?? 🤔
Its both, they're fucked in the head.
Slaves to sin :/
For me any realtionship is transactional, i get bored easily so the connection is just for rhe moment
Yes when I got with my boyfriend he wanted to marry me I thought I was In a fairy tale he was amazing I moved to a different state to be with him my mom passed and brought everything I own after I got here I dint have a job he told me he didn't care if I had two pennys to rub together a man should support a women but I had my inherentance I had to put the down payment on our place pay rent was to high he gave me 500 a month sometimes I paid 1300 and bought food electricity was great for a 7 months then he got mad for no reason I went to the store with his friends wife or out for lunch he was calling me constantly he wanted me home as soon as he got there so I had to hurry he timed me all the time then he started becoming distant so he would sit out side smoking his cig something wasn't right he started having highs and lows and sometimes he was great but other times I felt alone we have broke up and then got back together so Many times then he didn't want to get married I was then his girl friend then I was his friend but he had to know what I was doing no matter what I thought I was going crazy my heart was so broken he didn't care at all he became cold it was like I was with a vampire he wanted me to suck my soul out then he was done I could go when I got on my feet he wanted me back and I thought I could Handel it but I never can because the deep love I have for him is uncontrollable its like I'm addicted to him never was in a thing like this ever before
My wife 😅
Hey
Hello
He cheats with his spouse and on his spouse - Sick!! He cheats online - so there is A Lot of future faking - promises of Meeting Ad having a wonderful life - but He is Never going to leave his Main Supply- his wife of 30+ years - why should he, he has a Play ground on internet and to him, it’s not physical so it’s Not Cheating!