embracing weight gain + how my life has changed | VLOG 20
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 พ.ค. 2020
- how my life has changed since healing my disordered behaviours and embracing my natural body ❤
this topic is one I'm still growing into in terms of finding my comfort and confidence with sharing my truth (being that it's so personal and so raw) but I know from experience how much other people sharing their stories has helped me feel less alone and motivated me to keep going in my own healing journey so I plan to keep incorporating the topic and my experience here and there in the vlogs to come! ✨
sending you all the love and comfort from my cozy corner to yours!
Vlog chapters 💛
2:04 - my body image issues
4:00 - how I make buddha bowls
4:47 - dinner dance party
6:40 - the process of coming out of restriction and weight suppression
8:42 - how I used to feel + my food anxieties
9:36 - the unhealthy diet cycle
11:00 - the regrets I have
14:03 - the beginning of my healing process
16:15 - what helped me the most
18:05 - the benefits of regaining weight
19:45 - dealing with food guilt
21:04 - how I deal with triggers
My original "skeleton in my closet" video:
• the skeleton in my closet
Other empowering women and accounts that talk about this:
• Ending the pursuit of ...
• Lili Reinhart’s Reveal...
/ @whatmiadidnext
/ @natachaoceane
/ @katenoel
/ @becjane
thebirdspap...
rozannapurc...
Helplines:
nedic.ca
www.eatingrecoverycenter.com
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ALL THINGS KOZE MERCH ❤
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▼ Instagram ▹ / kalynnicholson13
▵ Twitter ▹ / kalynnicholson
▼ KOZE Channel ▹ / @kalynscoffeetalk
▵ My Coffee Talk Podcast ▹ bit.ly/KalynsCoffeeTalk
bit.ly/KalynsCoffeeTalkSpotify
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Poetry ⫸ Dancing With Elephants ▹
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Vlog chapters 💛
2:04 - my body image issues
4:00 - how I make buddha bowls
4:47 - dinner dance party
6:40 - the process of coming out of restriction and weight suppression
8:42 - how I used to feel + my food anxieties
9:36 - the unhealthy diet cycle
11:00 - the regrets I have
14:03 - the beginning of my healing process
16:15 - what helped me the most
18:05 - the benefits of regaining weight
19:45 - dealing with food guilt
21:04 - how I deal with triggers
Kalyn Nicholson hi
Girl in 14 minutes in. Magic happened at close enough to 11:11 for wishes to come true;) and im just realizing your chapters“ importance And wanting to fully acknowledge and appreciate them. Girl having magic moments.. FUN FACT. according to my native korean boyfriend.. when a QUEEN is on her period Its called her magic time.. feeling you on the sudden emotional outbursts pre magic. Im less prone to tears and more apt to violent and aggressive outbursts.. i can be downright mean and critical ! (Im not immune to it either so i know and empathize!) thanks for being RAW and simultaneously POISED and GRACEFUL 💚💕
as my sister would say
#QUARANQUEEN #slay #clubquarantine
Thank you, Kalyn for publishing this!! It came at the perfect time because I’ve been struggling lately with over eating and it feels very crappy. Lots of love from Argentina 💛💛💛
Hiya kayln.... I feel your struggle... I've just recently gone from my regular 50kgs that I've been for the most of my adult life, to a big spike hitting 67kgs. Between January and now. I've just turned 40 so a lot is my hormones going bonkers I think but its a daily struggle facing this new obstacle that I'm experiencing now. I'm listening to my body more these days and it truly does guide us toward an intentionally greater good internally 😇❤☕
GUYS I CAN'T GET OVER WE'VE BEEN DOIN VLOGS FOR 20 WEEKS, LIKE WHAT
AMAZING
THE COMMITMENT
It went by so quickly! I love these videos!! You are a real one blessing us with such real needed content. 🙏🏾
AlyssaAllDay hi
KYE THE CREATOR hi
"Just dab them tears real quick, put this crown back, remember we are queens". Damn girl. My new mantra. I love you deeply.
*me eating ben & jerry's in the middle of the afternoon*
*see's "embracing weight gain"*
"oh yes i think i'll watch this one"
LOL I did the same thing haha
honestly sis it would be weird if you didn’t cry in your vlogs at this point 😂 loved the video as always ✨
Love the authenticity :)
taja shania ikr😥
Right lol it’s cute tho 😂
Flipping the frying pan reminded me of Rapunzel from Tangled when she discovered it was a weapon 😂
Andrea Baxter with her long blonde hair, she’d make a great Punzie 🥰👑🍳
Reminder: a video will still be uplifting and positive when you share your weaknesses and cry your eyes out. It's why a lot of us love your channel, because you are SO real and you are every single one of us, in some way. Sending you many warm hugs!
"Put our crown back, remember that we are Queens" DUDE I really need to hear that!
So im one of your more quiet followers. I've been following for years but have never comment. Hearing you talk about this issue though over and over has really sat with me, since I too have issues but mine is more with the food itself. When I first started watching you and even now your actually one of the people I look at and go "o my God, she looks so good and I don't look like that." So it is interesting to hear you talk about yourself like that. I feel like that's why so much social media has been corrupted, its like a comparison game but we all feel the same way. On a side note. I have been eyeing your coffee maker for months. It's so cute, where did you get it?! 😍 and BTW you look gorgeous in this video.
If it’s the blue one it’s a Smeg 😉
It's from amazon!! But it's over $300 :(
It's called smeg
Silent, but long time viewer here. I needed this so badly. You are such a beautiful soul. Thank you Kalyn 💖
Girl yes! I was a bikini bodybuilder for 5 years, constantly judging my body, judging everything I consumed etc. I couldn't not weigh myself every morning and also had to track everything! Finally I said enough is enough and put my scale away for years. I finally weighed myself the other day and to my surprise Ive been maintaining my same weight without any extra stress! Its just a hard path but way to go lady! Keep trucking!
I'm a bikini bodybuilder too and it makes me very happy to hear you say this☺️☺️☺️
I love how you are talking about this openly x sending my love
I cryed with you Kalyn, I feel you, I feel similar things, you are not alone, I love you!!! ❤️
I’m proud of you for embracing weight gain, I have recently done the same even though it was not easy!! I hope you’re having a great week so far Kalyn 💗
Ok so heres the thing: i dont struggle with body image. Never have. My body is naturally very hegemonic and my metabolism is your teen self's wet dream- eat whatever, gain no weight, bare minumum of exercise and muscle goes to all the right places. BUT THERES A CATCH: because of this, i hadnt realized that i have an unhealthy relationship with food. Since it didnt show up physically, i failed to see it. And i truly have only recently (at 25 YEARS OLD) started to see it, reflected in your own experience. So. Thank you. You are incredible inspiring and you know how you wanna motivate people to look inwards? Well. It works.
Girl, I admire your honesty. You’re amazing and I’ve loved your vulnerability this year ♥️♥️♥️
Literally feels like we are all friends, all hanging out and all together having these conversations. We love you to the moon & back ❤️
The pressure to be really skinny when you are not naturally like that it's too much. So i'm also embracing the way my body is with some muscle and weight.
It's so brave of you to speak about this. I've been going through a very similar experience as you. You are beautiful inside and out and I admire your honesty and vulnerability for talking about this. Love you Kalyn!
I was an unsubscribe and then in 2020 RESUBSCRIBE. Love the vlogs, love the vulnerability and feel so connected to the content you’re putting out 💛 feels much more genuine/authentic
Mindfully eating and giving gratitude to my food, plus giving my body what it craves has make me feel amazing. Sending love to you all💕💕💕 you all beautiful.
This is so beautiful. It reminds me of how butterflies have to fight their way out of the cocoon. If they don't, their wings never gain the strength to fly. I can't even imagine where this strength is going to take you. I will definitely be here to watch the journey and send you all of the good vibes and thumbs ups.
i've been one of your followers for a few years now, it makes me so emotional knowing that you've been going through this difficult task that is healing. through the years of watching you open up about this kind of issues have really struck a chord with me, as i've been going through very similar struggles as well. i have so much in my life to thank you for. for inspiring me to be my own girl boss, getting back into reading, getting really into tarot, and recently getting into yoga. for whatever reason, watching you talk in this vlog, the quote "you grow through what you go through" keeps popping up in my head. you will forever and always be one of my biggest inspirations.
You are one my biggest inspos Kalyn, I know I’ve told you before but I just want to say thank you again 💞 I’m uploading my story of how I healed my eating disorder & techniques to overcome binge eating on Sunday 💛 so it’s amazing to see you’re making weight gain such an acceptable thing, we need more of this body positivity online 🌞
So raw and honest. I love your ability to show us the real you. What you are talking about can help a person - girl or boy - honestly whomever they are - going through the same thing. And confused or lost or afraid to reach out. This can relate to a lot of people and shed light on it. Also for those who don’t suffer with this, they can now see someone who does and how to help/understand a person who does. Thank you for this 💜
I used to watch your videos years and years ago when I was very sick in my ED too, I wanted to be just like you. And now, to hear this, ‘I want to be just like you’ takes on a whole other meaning. Thank you for sharing, this resonated with me in a HUGE WAY. You have a fan in me
For anyone who needs this: own your vulnerability, it's a journey a long one.. but totally worth it! Make sure that your cup is full and what overflows is for others. That is not selfish but self care. Love seeing you grow Kalyn, i really admire you.
Watching this video made me uncomfortable in all the right ways. I'm currently working through my eating disorder in therapy and I've been really triggered since quarantine started and other life things going on, but thank you. Because I really needed to watch and see and hear this because I've clicked off of other videos about it, but i really felt this one in a healing kind of way.
You've got this girl. One day at a time. Embrace your beautiful self and don't forget that healing is a process!
This feels so relevant for me. I am loving the energy and rawness of your recent videos. Sending you love ❤️❤️
I just love how open you've been Kay!! Been here for a couple of years, I'm just thankful to you for sharing your journey and making my life a little cozier and easier to cope with. 💜
thank you for keeping it real as always - this is the type of content everyone needs to see more of!! It makes me so happy to support people who use their platform to share real life, not just a highlight reel.
love ya girl! xx
This video couldn't come at a better time for me, thank you
One of my top fav videos of yours. Raw yet so articulate, relatable and insightful. So happy for your journey Kalyn!
I love how with you we can have honest talks .. I feel your sincerity while you talk and I personally have this kind of a struggle.. thank you ❤
i'm so proud of you! I cant help but cry with you... Thank you so much for always helping me.
Kalyn, I found your channel at the end of 2017 and i'm not joking, YOU're the reason why I started to change my life and the way I think.
I’m so so happy for you Kalyn! I’ve been watching you for years now, noticing when something wasn’t feeling right, if that’s even possible to do through a screen. Don’t have/had an eating disorder etc but depression has been in my life for a few years. Just wanted to say that you have helped me with your videos so incredibly much, you have no idea! Wishing you the best life how u want it, full of adventures and Bentley ofc! 💜
I am so happy with your journey and your progress. You sharing this deep and sensitive subject is so up lifting to me. If I can see someone else do it I know I can do it. I love you Kayln. You're so strong and brave!
Love love love these 2020 raw vlogs. This is what I needed to hear. Thank you, K!
Wow. I just want to give you a big hug, I feel this message you share today shows so much growth within you. Your doing great Kalyn. Thank you for this 💞
I really needed this omg. It’s like you hear these things but the way you talked about this has helped me so much ❤️ I need these reminders more often 😊
i truly love you, you helped me alot through my journey of self-reflection and i am thankful for you.
you are an amazing and beautiful person
I've just been bawling my eyes out throughout this whole video but it's so important for me to hear this.
Thank you Kalyn.♥️ For your bravery and openness and how you've helped my through the years.
You are so brave. I've been watching you for a long time, and as an older woman I can say it's been so wonderful to watch you grow. It's amazing to get past this before you have lost years hating your body. Much love to you ❤️
You are beautiful Kalyn- both inside & out! I’ve followed your videos for years and you’ve always been an inspiration to me. I’ve also struggled with my body image and am slowly getting better as well. Sending you lots of love!! 💕
You are a huge inspiration and an extremely hard worker. I have watched you for years and love seeing you grow as a person and where it's taking you. Your honesty just shows how genuine you are within your recovery. Very proud of you!!
Thank you so much for opening up about this even more, Kalyn. I have been on a similar journey, just in reverse, with weight loss. Hearing you speak so honestly and rawly about your experiences means so much. Thank you for everything.
I love the raw honesty of your channel
This was so healing for me. I appreciate your vulnerability and honesty more you’ll ever know.
loved this video so much 🤍 I’ve been struggling hard core with my body image and hearing your story has really calmed me down because I know that someone else is going through the same things as me. that for sure was a run on sentence lol. I’ve been following you for years and hands down you’re my favorite creator. love you girlie, sending you all the positive and happy vibes 🥰
I liked this video just based on the title and after watching I wish I could like it a second time. Thanks Kalyn for being so vulnerable in a way that empowers others
I can't explain how much this video meant to me and I will never thank you enough ❤️ you're such a beautiful soul ❤️
Can't wait to dive into this video!❤️ Thank you so much for this. I suffer from major body issues and have struggled with my weight my whole life and still do. It's like the universe communicates that this is a video we need rn.🥺
I absolutely LOVE the quote at the beginning! And yes, I feel like a coffee talk about being healthy and no stressing about weight/body issues is definitely a topic that most people need/want (myself included).
I can’t thank you enough for this. Everything you said were so relatable to me and once again, I thanked God that you are doing social media so that I've known a beautiful soul like you. Please keep doing you. Ily💓
thank you for being so vulnerable. it helps me feel not so alone 💜 we love you!
You are strong, you can get thorugh things in life eventualy, don't loose hope! I completely understand you, I have been through this too myself. Wish you the best!
Thank you so much for this video. The Universe has a way of showing us what we truly need to see/hear. Stay beautiful 💛
You've been such an inspiration to all of us. It's like the universe wanted all of us to find your channel so you could help us too. We are growing with you. Thank you! ✨🖤
I’m so proud and grateful that you shared this with us ❤️ Especially in quarantine I’ve started to really struggle more with my body and exercise/food because it felt like one thing I could “control” in a time when everything is out of our control... this was so so helpful and powerful 💕
Kalyn, I needed this. i’ve been your follower since the beginning, literal beginning. But i just poured out my emotions about my body image issues to my therapist yesterday and i just really needed this video. it’s so tough to feel okay in our skin, but you’re doing great taking the steps to acknowledge it all and work on it. keep it up you beautiful soul ♥️
I love you so much, Kalyn, and, to hear this from you-someone I look up to and have looked up to for so long now-means so much. I struggle with the same issues and have since I was far too young. This video means so much to me and I'm sure so many others. Thank you for being you and being real and continuing to share your life with us. I love you! Hope you and Bentley are continuing to stay safe and well! 💛✌
Thank you Kaylyn for your authenticity! You freeing me to be authentic as well by sharing some of your breakthroughs. Lots of love!
You're so inspiring, sending much love❤!
Thank you so much for this! Hearing you talk about this topic helps so much! You are such a positive light✨✨
YES please talk more about this. Thank you so much for opening up about it. I'm sorry you're going through this, but it's so comforting to know that even someone so beautiful as you can struggle with this stuff too.
girl, you are such an inspiration.. I feel like no one ever “gets it” .. but you get it ... this talk.. really helped me see things in a bigger picture ❤️
Thank you for your openess, dealing with anxiety and problems regarding body image as going to extremes myself, vlogs or podcasts like this or others on your channel have helped me for years. Thank you ❤
Ill always love you Kalyn ❤️ I love how lately you have been able to be so open and honest about what you are feeling and that in itself takes a lot of courage. Im so proud of you and just know that you have helped me and so many others and you deserve to take care of yourself too.
Kalyn.. can I just say thank you for everything you have created over the years. I love how honest you have been about the struggles but also all the good healing and finding yourself can be. I just wanted to reach out and say thank you. Thank you so being an inspiration to be each day. Thank you for living your life to the fullest pushing through the negatives and allowing the positives to fill more of your life and push others to do the same. I have recently finally taken charge of my life/soul and remembered I need to take care of myself and honestly your podcasts/Vlogs/coffee talks your positive words and influential being has helped guide me to strive for my best self. Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone. Much love. Keep thriving ❤️
I truly feel so blessed to have rediscovered you and your videos this year. Your self-love and acceptance are so beautiful and inspiring. You make an amazing role model and hearing you speak about your past experiences shines a light on so many things I was feeling but could never put words to. Thank you for sharing and I'm looking forward to listening to your coffee talk!
Thank you for opening up about this, I've been watching you since 2017 and I can definitely see the growth process you've been through. Thank you for continuing to be an inspiration and for showing that vulnerable side!! xxx
You’re so brave! Thanks for opening with us🧡 i have struggled with this topic in the past and i’m also in recovery so it’s really nice to see that people like you (whose life looks perfect) also deals with this and shares with us🧡 thank you so much
You are amazing ❤️ Thank you for always being open, and honest. You're an inspiration 💕
Thank you Kalyn! 💕 I’ve been watching for years and out of allllll of your content... THIS, this is the one where I felt most connected to you. Thank you for your incredible bravery and your gentle vulnerability. You are giving the silent sufferers a voice. You’re so beautiful and ever since I started watching you, I’ve been striving to lead a life similar to yours, but I struggle so much with not feeling like I’m enough and feeling shameful in my body sometimes and to know that this happens to you, too, it gives me hope that I can grow out of this and heal and strive for something beautiful. Thank you 💕
Thank you for that, Kalyn. Watching you grow is inspiring ❤️
I really appreciate you and thank you for your vulnerability and for speaking your truths. I’ve been a subscriber for so many years and have seen so much growth in your self-love ❤️
Thanks so much for sharing.
I’m sorry you struggled for so long.
I wanted to tell you you are beautiful inside and out. You are so loved and I love your content.
I've struggled with eating disorders and body confidence for as long as I can remember. I did get a therapist and have since grew in so many ways. Thank you for being such a positive light for so many people
Omg the knowing and actually feeling thing hit hard i needed this. ... i been watching you for years n i just love listening to your long talks
Really needed to see this. I feel like your videos just know what I need on the day, they pop up and I'm like YES pls and ty Kalyn!! Amazing and raw, so grateful to you for sharing this with us all 💫⭐🌼
the biggest thing I did for my recovery was to get rid of my scale. I cant have one i the house, its by far my biggest trigger. its been like ten years sense I got the green light that my ED was "cured" but I will never let a scale in here again.
You’re amazing!! And you are just doing so great and am so proud of you!
Love this video and realness!!! You should be so proud of your journey!
This just helped me so much. I am so thankful for the way you talk about this. You show such an inner strength and this is so beautiful.❤️
Thank you for talking about this Kalyn. There’s been times I envied your body and wished I looked like you. I think it’s true what you said that it’s never enough when you don’t like your body no matter how small you get or how “healthy” you are. It’s something internal that can never be fixed by your physical appearance. Thank you for your vulnerability. 🖤🖤🖤
Ugh Kalyn I have so. much. love for you - I've been watching your videos since 2013!! Seeing you grow so much over the years has been INCREDIBLE. I have learned so much from you over the years and am so incredibly grateful for you and SO PROUD of you.❤️❤️
Haven't even watched this but I already know this is what I need💗 Thank you for teaching us to love our bodies and also for making our negative views towards our bodies normal. I have always struggled with mine and it feels so good to know I'm not alone. Love you Kalyn ❤
I love you Kalyn. 💞
Thank you for sharing your life experiences with us. I have some similar issues and it feels good to know we are not the only ones. We are the only body we have and we have to love ourselves, wherever we are, whenever we’re there. I feel you. I see you. I appreciate you. You are loved.
And it’s so true, to put it into perspective of having a daughter. My bff has body dysmorphia but has a body women would killlll for. I’ve begged her on a few occasions to be so aware of what she says around her girls, especially nowadays with the internet and bullying and just life man. 💞
You are so strong Kalyn - I am so happy that you are in a much better, healthier place. You deserve nothing less! ❤️
So proud of your honesty and keep up the good work. Keeping your mind, body, and soul in alignment with who you suppose to be.
You're such a beautiful person who's gone throu so much in silence. Continue to grow and embrace who you are, Kalyn.❤
You are incredible. You strength is inspiring. I found you by chance and used to just watch your videos and now I can feel your vids because you are open. Xx
I love the video that you make that are genuine and aligned with your truth. You inspire me!
I relate so much to this 😭 sending you much love and good vibes. Thanks so much for sharing.
I’m so so proud of proud you are about how far you’ve come Kalyn 🥺 I’m glad you got the help you deserve 💛
Thank you so much for opening up and sharing this. I can relate to some different moments you've mentioned going through and it's so inspiring to see how far you've come on your journey. You are so strong and beautiful and I admire you so much! Stay you girl
OMG girl. This video. 😭YES. Thank you so much for addressing and sharing all of this. Thank you for your vulnerability.💜
This was so real and raw and it hit home in so many ways. Thank you for being so vulnerable with us ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing! I admire you. I watch your videos I think for 3 years or 4 and I feel like it’s almost like you are a sister to me😂 I am 3 years younger than you and you talk about stuff that i am also dealing with in this phase in my twenty’s so I can relate to so many things you say. Thanks for being here 🧡
Thank you thank you for talking about this, you have no idea how helpful this is talking about this. I honestly had no idea you ever really struggled this much.. and its kind of refreshing to see despite obviously knowing no one is perfect. Its crazy we see people on youtube and feel like they're lives are perfect, so the fact your being raw and so authentic its so helpful for people struggling too. I struggled for years with this and honestly you talking about it has helped
Remember Kayln you are beautiful and amazing! Iv been watching you for around 3 years now and I feel like every video I relate to you more and more😢 I cried throughout this video because it reminded me that a lot of how I feel you have felt too and it’s like a huge weight lifted to just know that I’m not alone! Thank you so much Kayln for sharing more and more about yourself😔 I love you so much and I can’t miss a coffee talk or a vlog😨 Stay Safe, Stay Healthy, Try to keep positive even though it’s so difficult Kayln!💙