Introducing the "Me, Myself and I" Translation Bible!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ต.ค. 2024
- Do you want a Bible that loves what you love, hates what you hate, and believes what you believe?
Don’t like hell? No problem!
Don’t like wrath?
Sin? Rules? Limits?
Look no further!
Introducing the Magic Black Sharpie! It can make all of this possible and more! It’s the ONLY tool able to create the most accurate Bible version ever!:
The “Me, Myself, and I” Translation!
Don’t like a verse? Simply use the Magic Sharpie and POOF! Now you love it! Worried that Jesus will bum you out with all that sin talk, repenting stuff, and “dying to self” babble?
Don’t you worry!
Just pick up your Magic Marker and Abracadabra!: You can shut Him right up! Jesus is now a loveable nonjudgmental social justice teddy bear!
THIS is a Bible everyone can get behind!
The price you ask?!
Oh! It’s only the cost of one soul!
But what’s a soul when you can gain the whole world?! What a bargain! And that's not all!
If you actually buy our postmodern garbage and order today, you'll get a FREE coexist sticker for your Prius!
Come listen to the thoughts of one of our best customers, a Progressive New Ager! Get yours and start being your own god today!
(... Yes I had too much fun making this extra mediocre. Enjoy.)
Thank you Keith Walker from @EvidenceMinistries for this idea.
Random Fun Game!:
If you can tell me what the books are on my shelf.... I'll reward you by telling you if you're right or not. :-D
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Merch idea: a “bible corrector” pen. Comes without ink
that's brilliant.
I'll do you one better ... A red pen... With red pen logic
🤣🤣👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️
This reminds me of mad libs except much more wacky and less harmless , but seriously, the Bible is 100 % perfect, and would make the perfect present for a first born kid never too young to now god
"it's exhausting being tolerant"..Truth dear Sister..Always love these parodies you present, love from Australia ❤️
Maybe that is exactly our problem
We are and have been far too tolerant of sin
Now, that don't mean in any sort of violent, or abusive sense...
But in standing our ground, and being bold in saying (and publicly) "NO!!! That is wrong!!"
Btw,
Bless you,
You guys made it look easy for us here in Canadastan, during Kung flu
That part made me laugh
The BIBLE calls you a FOOL
The pronunciations are he-Larry-us!!! LOL!!
I laughed too hard at P-slams and
E-p-h-Siam’s as all ways your video was hilarious and very on point with what people out side of biblical Christianity really think 💭
"Now he's a loveable cuddly non-judgmental social justice teddy bear" 🤣🤣🤣
My nephew is a worship leader in a church, who had an affair and when this took place lived with the woman he had the affair with. He also bragged about partying until three in the morning on Saturday night and leading worship the next morning. Then he said he didn't understand why the church wouldn't baptize his live in girlfriend. Finally I told him why. He got offended that I would call him out on all his "sinning" and that the Bible was out of touch anyways and needed to be updated. I told him, you don't update God's Word. He was really offended by me. And threatened to leave the family dinner and demanded I apologize. I didn't, but I also didn't argue with him, because...family dinner. He still talks about all the partying he does, but what a good Christian he is because he is part of the worship team at church. I don't understand. And his mother enables him because everything he does is right. The Bible is the Bible, God's Word. Not to be changed or manipulated to be our "truth". Good job Melissa in illustrating how much people have been changing the Bible in recent years to fit their lifestyles!
I'm sorry to hear this. Don't stop praying for him, you did your part and told him the truth I went through similar things with my Catholic sister and got the same treatment. God can still make a miracle happen
You super need to talk to someone in leadership at your Church. Someone living that way in open sin that even boasts about it should absolutely not be allowed to be in any leadership role.
@@smithsmithington I don't go to his church, and he won't tell me what church he goes to, because, well, I would tell. And he knows it.
@@naomilindberg2328 That's really sad. I pray for his sake and the Church's that the truth comes out before he does anymore damage than he's already done. That kind of leader leads so many people astray because they think it is okay to emulate.
@@smithsmithington I agree with you.🙏
I was saved from New age and I literally laughed and got goosebumps 🤣🤣🤣💛💛💛
You hit the nail on the head Melissa.
These views are why my daughter-in-law look at me like a deer in the headlights when I speak even small truths.
All Catholics and protestants follow this type of meditation and preach as you like and never care for what's the truth 😂😁 churches for circus
@@Gamefan86 All you're doing is forcing Jesus into a bunch of sun metaphors. Look up the actual history of Christianity, there is no truth to anything you've said here.
@@Gamefan86 Christmas/Easter have anything to do with Christianity. Don't confuse Catholicism with Bible believing Christianity, they think they have the authority to make holy days and change God's laws/word based on their terribly incorrect interpretation of Mathew 16:18 completely twisting the scripture and brainwashing their followers into thinking they have some kind of authority based on a single verse taken out of context.
@@Gamefan86 No.
@@Gamefan86you are literally this video
Excellent as usual!!! Melissa 🙂🙏❤️🌷
Some years ago my brother and I had a really good Bible study group going, about 12to20 people showed up every week.
Then we decided to do a very detailed study on the Sermon on the Mount. Unfortunately, most of the people were horrified to realize that "no" a single Christian person should not be sexually immoral, that "yes" as Christians we need to use Discernment as we "judge", and "yes" we must forgive others because God will not forgive us if we do not forgive others.
At the end of the Sermon on the Mount, there were only a few people left. One fellow even said he only came for the snacks!!!
So much for discipleship!!!
Thank you for all you do Melissa 🙂🙏🌷 with Christian love to you,. Miss Monique 😁
the parable of the sower..........
Thank you for taking the trouble to teach the truth. It can be too hard for some people. That is the "narrow road."
Great to hear that you preach the truth.
A lot of people get "come as you are" and "stay as you are" mixed up.
@@THE-WAY_THE-TRUTH_THE-LIFE. Thank you for the compliment!!! Yes, some people just don't like my teaching.... because I have a tendency to be a little harsh. I do everything that I can to be a good Bible teacher, but for some reason there are a lot of Christians who have never read the Bible. Of course it's very easy to get offended if you don't know what sin is. We are all stuck in sin until we repent, put our faith in Jesus, confession of sin is good for the soul. Baptism of a believer and God gives the Gift of the Holy Spirit....leading a Spirit-filled life....love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Yes, in today's society it can be very difficult to lead a Christian life, especially when most of those who claim Christianity have utterly no clue!!!
We all need to be a 24-7-365 Christian....Seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness, not yours.
Miss Monique 🙂🙏💗
@@moniquelemaire5333
Amen Miss Monique
🤣 My thoughts through most of this video was, "She might as well be reading The Passion Translation." Then you made a jab at Brian Simmons. 😆 Perfect.
Right? 😅
Or the "massage" - (The Message) is almost as bad. Not quite. But almost.
I don’t know if I agree with what you read in Pa salms😂 This morning a guy told me he’s a Christian BUT the Bible is filled with contradictions and errors. I asked what church he goes to, but he said it doesn’t matter, and I was just trying to get him to believe in what I believe, even though I said very little. He then just walked away. People who don’t agree with you so often just say things and walk away, before you even have a chance to talk, because they really don’t want the truth. Great video, Melissa!!!
This kind of reminds me of a story my Aunt told me, a older women kept saying "that's not in my bible" during a sermon, finally the pastor said "all of this is in the bible" she said, "not mine, because I cut out all the parts I didn't like".
That’s exactly what Thomas Jefferson did as well. Nothing new under the sun.
Hilarious, but loaded with a message. Thank you Melissa. It's the numerous logos aka symbols for me😂.
Ha! i love this mockery of the new age. it's really silly, but i was in that "community" once.. before I was saved. Just started to release my testimony on my channel and it's truly hard to reflect on how lost i was.. but thank God He brought me out of it!
😂 reminds me of my sister, she says the Bible is written by men and of course in the liberal mind men are evil. she would totally read the updated New age Bible translation. she's to busy doing yoga to read or watch anything with truth in it.
thanks Melissa; for the humor in representing the issues in our world ❤😊
Excellent job Melissa! You do these satires so we'll!! The saddest part, as I was listening, is to know how many of these new ideas are being embraced by so many Christian young people without even noticing they are stepping into progressive Christianity. Many don't even know what that is...
Lol paaahsalms 😂
Literally no one:
“Do-to-ro-na-ME sounds super eXoTiC”
Me:
👁👄👁
Sounds like a new dance craze😂👌🙋
I will never unhear the sound of clicking pen😂😂😂.
Ruth? Finally a book written by a female, right on! Need more of this Ta-Ruth, or something.
These satires always make me smile. Unfortunately it’s so true the Bible is a hard truth and we either accept or we don’t. I choose to accept it, and for someone who changes the Bible doesn’t make it any less true.. thank you Melissa hope you have a blessed day and please pray for me
First of all, I love your channel. Few Christians do satire and fewer still do it well. I live in the Seattle area and I wish the big struggle was with new-ageism. The church I attended faithfully as a young man has gone "woke" and morphed from Christianity to "Marxianity." It goes like this: 1. The United States has always been a Christian country. 2. The United States has been racist since 1619. 3. Christians could have prevented this, but didn't. 4. All Christians today are complicit in all the worst racist atrocities committed during the past 400+ years. 5. Christians should continually "lament" and hate themselves, their country, their skin color (if they're of white European descent), and do this forever. To do this, the most graphic prophetic condemnations of Israel that God spoke to the OT prophets are taken out of context and applied to the USA. Very toxic and dishonest stuff. That makes new-ageism almost quaint and nostalgic by comparison.
Get outta there fast!
Check out Voddie Baucham please
Yikes!
@@ourtexasjourney1850 Thanks!! Incorporated Seattle is a dumpster fire, as I'm sure you know. The townships to the north, where I live now, are pretty sane. That said, I have family in Wyoming and I continually shop for properties there.
oh goodness i also live in the seattle area. hope i dont bump into this church. thats awful...
You might try looking for a Christian Missionary & Alliance church or a Reformed Baptist church. Both groups are still pretty solid and there seem to be some in the Seattle area.
Another bullseye, Melissa! Saying what needs to be brought to the surface. ❤
This was hilarious, mostly because I was that person for about 7 years.
I used this with my kiddos during our family "morning meeting" for homeschool devotions as we were talking about truth of the Bible and how it does not change. They loved it. Please keep making these kinds of videos for us. :)
Just wondering, is your name pronounced like Day-nuh or Dah-nah or Day-nah or something else? It's very pretty, visually
Please get your kids some proper education. You’re killing their chance for a future.
Early on, I had the urge to humorously comment that there probably is a version of the "corrected" Bible produced in this satirical video. Then I realized it isn't a joke; it's real. Nicely done!
Look up the "Mirror Bible" total blasphemy
@@laurenalmeyda6916 Wow. It's a special form of blasphemy to impose one's own viewpoints on the Word of YHWH, not only in interpreting Scripture, but in re-writing it.
It's nothing new. Even Thomas Jefferson cut out the parts he didn't like.
😆 Loved this, Melissa, especially because of @4:04, I’m now picturing Joe Pesci, for E-Pescians 🤣🤣🤣 . Sending love and prayers from Canada for your continued ministry works. 🙏🏼🇨🇦🤗
Hahahaha that's who I thought of as well..maybe it's called the "Godfellows Bible" 😂 Regards from Australia ❤️
0:38 ... I KNEW the "or something"-part would come! xD
Coffee cup spoiler! 😆
Love the shirt... The people that display that bumper sticker ect. are usually the LEAST tolerant of any other opinions...... funny video..
The grass withers, the flower fades, but the Word of our God stands forever. Isaiah 40:8
I didn't even know Ruth is a lesbian with Naomi... great, now that's ruined for me... /s
I love your skits!
While this is hilarious, it's also sad that this is really how it is for a LOT of people.
"...because men wrote the Bible and men are stupid..." (1:33) Thank you for your great sense of humour, Ms Melissa! Your videos are fun, entertaining, & informative. Keep up the great work!
It's Mrs. Melissa.
Hilarious, but so sad that many are lost and think they are saved😢How do you guide the misguided?- I know of many who are this character-
All of your satire videos are hilarious. They make such good points and I'm going to try and share them with my brother who is kind of a new ager. They're funny so they'll keep him interested but hopefully he'll see the important messages they contain. Anyhoo, thanks so much I love all your content, I've learned so much......Also, please tell me where you got your mug. I'd love to get one myself.
Oh my gosh!! Watching this at work trying not to laugh out loud! Lol. Psalms...P salms. You're hilarious.🤣 This is so true too.
So basically they’re turning the Bible into fanfiction. Unbelievable.
Love you, Melissa. I applaud your efforts to return people's hearts to Biblical truth.
Yet again, we’ll done sister! Teaching and correcting all the while bringing to light the postmodern eisegesis of scripture… needed
I was half expecting you to hold up a copy of “Your Best Life Now” when you were done editing…
P-salms and Doo-der-onomy (or at least what I heard), lol! Love this portrayal of p-seudo Christianity. Thanks for doing this, Melissa!
So much [satirical] content I've heard actually spoken from people as "their" truth! Good laugh to get the day started. Thanks 😂😂😂
I love the satire, definitely is hilarious. Truth, to people want to take context that suits them, cherry picking scriptures. Pretty sure you don't have to be a newager to do this! Lol🤣
Melissa, you've done it again. Refreshing, inspired, hilarious and soooo so very true. Keep up the good work sister. God bless you and all that you do on here.
😂😂😂😂 we love you Melissa! Keep it up!
Sister Melissa, I just love your comical truth about the bible please keep up the great work lol 🤲✝️🙏
I genuinely dropped my mouth when you started crossing out Deuteronomy and the others. And found this intriguing, aggravating, and informative.Thank you and God bless sister.
I about died with the pronunciation of Ephesians!!! lol!
Sadly, I know people who quote the Bible all the time and have no clue what it actually says.
The mug!! Lol getting this after we move 😂
I have come to love the coexist stickers and things… hear me out. I would NEVER wear the T-shirt or put a sticker on my car. But I saw one one day and was impressed that the cross was the last letter.. and it hit me.. maybe the Lord gave the thought to me.. people can “coexist” with whatever religion they want but Jesus gets the final say! Now every time I see that “coexist” I just smile and thank Jesus he already won the war!
No matter how wrong, the Coexist crowd may or may not be, no Christian is improved by this ridicule of people with different views. This is petty bullying.
Job, ppp-salms! It's exhausting being so tolerant 😂 ....funny, but sadly, very true. Thank you for your hard work to spread the truth about the Gospel.
🤦🏽♀️😂 Before I knew any better I use to really think you should close your eyes and point to a random verse to get some guidance for the day…I was so naïve
With all my love and respect let me say, careful with being righteous... Any of us being in posession of truth doesn't give us the right to mock others. That is not how the love of Jesus would act dear Melissa. The apostles didn't go around mocking others for being mistaken or looking down on them but healing them and being loving wich helps people feel God's love, mercy and forgiveness. That is the real witnessing and presenting the gospel.
It seems crazy cause you see her acting out the physical manifestation of this...However, this is exactly what goes on inside the hearts of many. Many. People. It's truly not far fetched at all.
Hilarious you are a star Melissa Thank you for your ministry 🙏
A perfect combination of fun and truth XD Also, I think one of the books on your shelf ( the pink one ) might be 'You're not Enough and that's Okay" by Allie Beth Stuckey.
Enjoyed this on so many levels! As an ASMR fan, this served as ASMR for this night. All the writing sounds 😍
"Epessians" 😂 that's almost as good as Biden talking about how much he loves the "Book of Palms" lol
Sadly humorous, and I admit LOL until she got to Eh-pesh-ee-uns, then I had to stop the video to ROFL
That's definitely how I used to read the Bible for years😂😂
lol funny Melissa! I loved this its very accurate for today's "interpretations" of God's holy word. Btw I have the same bible!
It’s exhausting being tolerant... or something. ;)
Had a good laugh but felt sad at the same time because it is true!
Hysterical Melissa! All you needed to do was break out the scissors to make it complete!
Jesus never said man are gods. I'm only :39 into this video and I'm not sure what you're attempting to convey, so I'll just watch a bit more before I speak further.
This is satire.
Your facial expressions are hilarious 🤣 I love it
On a side note, It’s been 4 days since a historic Supreme Court decision and I have not been able to find ANY popular women “pastors “ or teachers celebrating or even talking about what has just transpired. This is yet again an exposing of the true followers of Jesus. The silence is deafening and shining a light exposing those who are anti christ 🤷♀️
@TP The Free Thinker I did not call them THE anti christ however anything that is anti Jesus is anti christ. As far as I’m concerned if they are silent on this issue they are condoning it
I absolutely love these satires! Genius! Thanks for bringing the truth using humor. ❤️
I Agree 👍 💯
Am I the only one who saw her shirt in the thumbnail and was able to read "coexist"?
This describes so many people today especially they believe in reincarnation and transmigration of the soul. One young lady I know is a believer was livid over SCOTUS overturning ROE and called Christians bigots. I told her that according to her belief abortion not only takes a life but interupts the souls journey and inflicts a lot of bad karma which could take 1000's of life times to work off. She looked perplexed and said what she could do. I said, Repent, follow Jesus and get off the karma merry go round.
It’s sad that you have to put a disclaimer in the video about this being satire.
My favorite one is Philippians 4:13 - I can do anything with a verse taken out of context!
The enneagram bit had me rolling! 😂😂😂
Is this what new age/progressive Christianity about, wow 😮you’re funny 😆
It really it.... lol.. sadly
2 John 1:7
For many deceivers are entered into the world, who confess not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist.
this video is goofy lmao
Top notch stuff Melissa. Your parodies are always right on. Keep it up!
My Jesus says "And you will know the truth. And the truth will make you free"
Remove my word, and you will be removed from the book of life...
I was going to say you were left with the Passion translation, but then you said Brian Simmons was on to something. 😆😎
❤️
Haha yes!! Those were my thoughts exactly! 😆
Ummmm so where can I get that mug….. or something ?
It's in the Bible, or something...
We ARE elohim [Hebrew 430: angels, magistrates; gods in the ordinary sense] OF the supreme LORD God-we are ALL children of The Most High God; BUT [here’s the BIG but] we shall DIE like MEN, and FALL like one of the PRINCES!!! Jesus quoted this passage when the Jews had picked up stones to stone Him for blasphemy, but He shut them down quick when He said: “is it not written in YOUR LAW, I SAID, you are gods-if He called them gods, unto whom the word of God came, and The Scriptures CANNOT be broken; [to paraphrase] how is it then that I am the one who blasphemes, all I have said is I am the SON of God-when you own scriptures say you are ALL gods, and hey guys you ALL know The Scriptures CANNOT be broken;” I can imagine they dropped those stones really quick like!!!
0:38 nice product placement 👍
The exact study of Bible nowadays by a new ager..😥😥. Hebrews 4:12 - For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
🔥🔥🔥
The Word of God is actually a 'Sword'. It's not a 'butter knife', to spread Butter or Jam!!!
I am so tempted to send this to my weird progressive family members but...I don't want them to think I'm starting a war 😅
I totally used to just turn to a page and expect the verse I landed on to be some super spiritual epiphany with no context when I was more toward new age/progressive thinking. 🤣 So glad God saved me from that!
Give God Thanks and Praise!
That was great! I love how you spoke over the video!
When you were talking about 18 cool. I immediately thought "that's 9" I like math and science and Christ is the way and the light.
Heisenberg a genius in physics.:
“The first gulp from the glass of natural sciences will turn you into an atheist, but at the bottom of the glass God is waiting for you.” [“Der erste Trunk aus dem Becher der Naturwissenschaft macht atheistisch, aber auf dem Grund des Bechers wartet Gott.”] (Heisenberg, as cited in Hildebrand 1988, 10).
You T-shirt is not true either.. “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”
John 14:6 NKJV
You remind me of Jenna Marbles that was a surprise 😋
I'm a Christian here and I got so excited when you said you were looking at the New Testament and you said aw Jesus isn't so nice, I was waiting for the Scripture like common hit me with what you got because the 4 gospels always brings me to tears when i read them haha. Anyway you quoted some really awesome Scripture and fed my spirit, I love it and good on you!
Just a side note about why Scripture looks so ridiculous and like a lot of baloney to many people. You need the Holy Spirit my dudes, and if you want it just ask!
"12 What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us." 1 Corinthians 2:12
I recommend reading all 1 Corinthians chapter 2. So so yummy! Hope this blesses you like you've blessed me 🥰
Dear Melissa, it does not matter what we may think of the Bible (Torah). It explains itself very clearly that everytime we ourselves start deciding what is wrong or bad on our own - disregarding of what God says - we always fail. Starting from Eve and further on till today.
We should simply obey it "and not prostitute ourselves by chasing after the lusts of our own hearts and eyes". (Numbers 15:39)
Although this is Satire I've met many like this ...
Reminds me of Christians being pro choice. Sorry doesn't work.
The funny thing about New Agers; they professed to believe in God but they mostly trust in political narratives and their own version of "truth". As a result, they become worldly, confused, and dull. That's why we have to separate ourselves from worldly customs in order to follow Jesus. Read II Corinthians ch.6, verse 17.
God bless you for what you do, miss
Sad. TRUE Christians love ALL peoples. Just like Jesus did! I’ll be praying for you whether you like it or not!
Although he kept his true spiritual beliefs very private, Thomas Jefferson had his own cut n paste Bible he made. Mostly passages from the Proverbs, “sermon on the mount,” etc.
Nothing new under the sun…
Revelation 14:12.
(King James Version.)
12 Here is the patience of the saints: here are they that keep the commandments of God, and the faith of Jesus.
This is exactly true
The shot at Brian Simmons😂😂😂
Are you and PatriotNurse the same person????? Only you both look alike, and I think I often get you both confused!!!
Puh-Salms 🤣🤣🤣
“I want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth…so help me God.” He’s trying to, but there is black permanent marker scribbled over the scripture. 🤣😂🤣😂
Dear Melissa,an excellent piece!Well performed,put together (hard to do)and with such underlaying deep message.Super!