Listening to Tina talk is the polar opposite to how I was spoken to as a child. Mum was demanding, ordering, controlling, impatient, haughty condescending tone of voice ir a scary voice and everything had to be done NOW!! Ignoring, waving her hand away in dismissive sweeps, pointing, lots of non verbals that suggested I was inconvenient. She never smacked me. My own parenting style was quite disastrous but when we know better, we do better. When I listen to Tina, my inner child is listening too. Whenever I talked the way Tina talks with my granddaughter, they were strong connected moments. ❤
Not only can we use this wisdom for our kiddos, but we can also begin using this wisdom with ourselves first. Get in touch with your inner child and treat him/her this way. ♡ sooo good.
I find this extremely validating. I have been trying to articulate these exact concepts to my family who think I simply do not provide enough “discipline” to my child. This has been my intent and admittedly I do not always hit the mark. But just hearing these ideas put to words is affirming and wonderfully liberating! Thank you so much!
I'm so glad you're finding the content to be helpful! For family, you might find this link helpful - www.tinabryson.com/news/a-note-to-our-childs-caregivers-our-discipline-approach-in-a-nutshell-1 - it's an excerpt from No-Drama Discipline and an easy way to share the fundamental ideas with people who help you care for your children. It was written for grandparents, friends, babysitters, nannies, and other caregivers who haven't read the book.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom 😍no more pushing in my house from now on, every time my daughter misbehave I will not let her play outside with her friends, and it hit me when you say “ask yourself how does it make you and your child feel” it feels sad for both of us, thanks a million for teaching us parents different approach to discipline
The discipline that is taught by most parents is a backhand across the face. This is the discipline that has been passed down through our family ancestors. If the parent is Bored they'll tell the child to get a switch. If the parent is irrational they'll pick up anything they see. They don't care. Inflicting pain is their goal. It becomes a habit
This is an amazing information! I will be working on my skill building too! Could you continue to do more videos to "model" for us parents/educators? Thank you Dr. Bryson for all you do!
@@tinapaynebrysonphd I can't wait to check them out! This parenting information has been truly transformative! Thanks again for supporting parents and families like ours!
I love your book and this video is a great summary ... learning so many things .... it is difficult at times but I guess I am getting better, our relationship is getting better and this seems to last for a long time. Thank you so much
My pre schooler has bitten a couple times at school and the school is saying he can be suspended if he does it 3x in one week. Thankfully he hasn't bitten that much but still it's frightening that such a small child is being punished! This would not happen outside the US in European countries. 🙏🙏 Help pls. All I know to do is get him evaluated for speech and use a chewy.
some fantastic ideas here - reframing what we want to achieve by discipline! I intend to start trying these ideas when my 3 year old son gets home and starts nocking over his 1 year old sister! Thanks Tina
This all makes really good sense in how our brains work and thinking works. However, I wish you would more address when parents are too heated to find the calm and patience necessary for this technique. For instance, after you do this technique, and the child continues to behave badly. I have talked to my son before in this way, and as I am trying to empathize with him, he will full on hit me in the face, and knock my glasses off. It not only gets me more upset, but it hurts! How to I handle this, when I am attempting to discipline and empathize, and my child STILL will not transition into a receptive state in order to learn that its not right to hit. (He's 2 1/2 currently)
I agree! My little one will turn on me if I try to empathize with him. He will scream and pretend to hit me (still unnerving!) and if I continue to empathize, it only gets worse. What do I do?
Thanks for sharing these thoughts. While I can't comment on this specific situation, I did record a video on how to yell less that may speak to your question. You can check my channel for that and see if it helps. I also wrote a short blog about "flipping the curiosity switch on" and I'll copy that here in case it resonates: When we flip our lids, it’s really important to be curious about that behavior and ask ourselves, ”What was that about for me?” Sometimes the answer is, “I haven’t peed by myself in three years, and I’m starving, and I’m so tired, and I haven’t had an adult conversation, and it makes sense that I’m less patient, and that’s all it’s really about.” Other times, the answer might be, “I feel like I get really wounded by my kids pretty easily when they reject me or when they don’t listen., I feel really afraid, and I wonder what that’s about.” By doing that unfolding, we can get clearer on what’s driving us in that moment and understand those pieces of the situation and ourselves. The other thing to ask ourselves is, “What is it I need in order to parent differently in this situation the next time?” It could be, “I need more sleep; I need more help; I need my partner to not interfere when I’m having this conflict because that escalates things.” Those are important questions to ask. Then we can use those opportunities when we mess up as parents as opportunities to do some reflection, some questioning of ourselves, so we can begin to make some change, and take care of ourselves as well.
Hello. I am a kindergarten teacher. I am looking at Whole Brain Child and No Drama Discipline. I am wondering which one you recommend me to read in my teacher role? any other suggestions? I like to learn different ways to teach my students about behavior and life skills along with academics.
Great question and sorry for the slow response! You could start with either, but if you're looking at discipline and skill-building, I'd reach for No-Drama Discipline first. There's also a WorkBook and it has tons of great resources. You can also check out this video I made specifically for educators! vimeo.com/ondemand/brysonbrainbasedschool
Is there any way for your books to be in Spanish or other languages. is there any way to have you with a Spanish translator and do this video in some way and other redundantly, so I may use your work to serve Latino communities...
Hi there - we do have translations of the books available in Spanish. THE BOTTOM LINE FOR BABY, THE WHOLE-BRAIN CHILD and THE POWER OF SHOWING UP were published by Alba Editorial S.L. while NO-DRAMA DISCIPLINE and THE YES BRAIN were published by Ediciones B. You can also use the translation feature on TH-cam which will display captions in a language of your choice. Just click the gear icon and select auto-translate, then pick a language you'd like to see. I hope that helps!
I speak to a lot of great organizations that work with foster kids, but don't offer direct client services at this time. If you're in or around Pasadena, you can check out TheCenterforConnection.org - I started this Center as a resource for families and we have some amazing clinicians who specialize in adoptions.
Apologies for the delayed response but you might enjoy my Baby in the House podcast with pediatrician Phil Boucher, MD: th-cam.com/video/KX2XrZW7f4Q/w-d-xo.html
If the point of discipline is to teach, why is the entire schooling system built upon thr principle of punishment for rule breaking as a way to educate and make kids ready to join society
Listening to Tina talk is the polar opposite to how I was spoken to as a child. Mum was demanding, ordering, controlling, impatient, haughty condescending tone of voice ir a scary voice and everything had to be done NOW!! Ignoring, waving her hand away in dismissive sweeps, pointing, lots of non verbals that suggested I was inconvenient. She never smacked me. My own parenting style was quite disastrous but when we know better, we do better.
When I listen to Tina, my inner child is listening too. Whenever I talked the way Tina talks with my granddaughter, they were strong connected moments. ❤
Not only can we use this wisdom for our kiddos, but we can also begin using this wisdom with ourselves first. Get in touch with your inner child and treat him/her this way. ♡ sooo good.
I second this. Awesome stuff.
This video has been life changing for me and my grandson.. The best tool I’ve found in my toolbox. Thank you
I'm so happy to hear that! Thanks for letting me know and for the work you're doing to strengthen connection within your family. Beautiful!
I find this extremely validating. I have been trying to articulate these exact concepts to my family who think I simply do not provide enough “discipline” to my child. This has been my intent and admittedly I do not always hit the mark. But just hearing these ideas put to words is affirming and wonderfully liberating! Thank you so much!
I'm so glad you're finding the content to be helpful! For family, you might find this link helpful - www.tinabryson.com/news/a-note-to-our-childs-caregivers-our-discipline-approach-in-a-nutshell-1 - it's an excerpt from No-Drama Discipline and an easy way to share the fundamental ideas with people who help you care for your children. It was written for grandparents, friends, babysitters, nannies, and other caregivers who haven't read the book.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom 😍no more pushing in my house from now on, every time my daughter misbehave I will not let her play outside with her friends, and it hit me when you say “ask yourself how does it make you and your child feel” it feels sad for both of us, thanks a million for teaching us parents different approach to discipline
I’m doing a parenting class with Connie Harrelson in Florida. We’re studying this book. Thank you for your work
Wonderful! Thank you so much for the kind feedback!!
Wow! This was put in such an easy way to understand for a beginner to this way of parenting! Thank you so much.
The discipline that is taught by most parents is a backhand across the face. This is the discipline that has been passed down through our family ancestors. If the parent is Bored they'll tell the child to get a switch. If the parent is irrational they'll pick up anything they see. They don't care. Inflicting pain is their goal. It becomes a habit
This is an amazing information! I will be working on my skill building too! Could you continue to do more videos to "model" for us parents/educators? Thank you Dr. Bryson for all you do!
Thank you and it took some time, but I added more videos! I hope they help!
@@tinapaynebrysonphd I can't wait to check them out! This parenting information has been truly transformative! Thanks again for supporting parents and families like ours!
Love this so much ♥️
This is so helpful, thank you ❤️
Glad it was helpful!
Wow, what awesome advice and wisdom.
Glad you think so!
So awesome. Thank G-d for people like you :)
I love your book and this video is a great summary ... learning so many things .... it is difficult at times but I guess I am getting better, our relationship is getting better and this seems to last for a long time. Thank you so much
Glad it was helpful! Thanks for reaching out and I wish you all the best in your parenting journey!
Thank you very much from Saudi Arabia. It so informative video that added a lot to me
Glad it was helpful!
My pre schooler has bitten a couple times at school and the school is saying he can be suspended if he does it 3x in one week. Thankfully he hasn't bitten that much but still it's frightening that such a small child is being punished! This would not happen outside the US in European countries. 🙏🙏 Help pls. All I know to do is get him evaluated for speech and use a chewy.
how to say "NO" to a toddler without upsetting them? my baby doesn't get distracted easily
🙏Thnx
You're very welcome! Thanks for checking out my videos. :-)
some fantastic ideas here - reframing what we want to achieve by discipline! I intend to start trying these ideas when my 3 year old son gets home and starts nocking over his 1 year old sister! Thanks Tina
This all makes really good sense in how our brains work and thinking works. However, I wish you would more address when parents are too heated to find the calm and patience necessary for this technique. For instance, after you do this technique, and the child continues to behave badly. I have talked to my son before in this way, and as I am trying to empathize with him, he will full on hit me in the face, and knock my glasses off. It not only gets me more upset, but it hurts! How to I handle this, when I am attempting to discipline and empathize, and my child STILL will not transition into a receptive state in order to learn that its not right to hit. (He's 2 1/2 currently)
I agree! My little one will turn on me if I try to empathize with him. He will scream and pretend to hit me (still unnerving!) and if I continue to empathize, it only gets worse. What do I do?
Thanks for sharing these thoughts. While I can't comment on this specific situation, I did record a video on how to yell less that may speak to your question. You can check my channel for that and see if it helps. I also wrote a short blog about "flipping the curiosity switch on" and I'll copy that here in case it resonates:
When we flip our lids, it’s really important to be curious about that behavior and ask ourselves, ”What was that about for me?”
Sometimes the answer is, “I haven’t peed by myself in three years, and I’m starving, and I’m so tired, and I haven’t had an adult conversation, and it makes sense that I’m less patient, and that’s all it’s really about.” Other times, the answer might be, “I feel like I get really wounded by my kids pretty easily when they reject me or when they don’t listen., I feel really afraid, and I wonder what that’s about.”
By doing that unfolding, we can get clearer on what’s driving us in that moment and understand those pieces of the situation and ourselves.
The other thing to ask ourselves is, “What is it I need in order to parent differently in this situation the next time?” It could be, “I need more sleep; I need more help; I need my partner to not interfere when I’m having this conflict because that escalates things.”
Those are important questions to ask. Then we can use those opportunities when we mess up as parents as opportunities to do some reflection, some questioning of ourselves, so we can begin to make some change, and take care of ourselves as well.
speaking to hearts! ♡♡♡
Shes just amazing.
Sorry for the late reply, but thank you so much!
Hello. I am a kindergarten teacher. I am looking at Whole Brain Child and No Drama Discipline. I am wondering which one you recommend me to read in my teacher role? any other suggestions? I like to learn different ways to teach my students about behavior and life skills along with academics.
Great question and sorry for the slow response! You could start with either, but if you're looking at discipline and skill-building, I'd reach for No-Drama Discipline first. There's also a WorkBook and it has tons of great resources. You can also check out this video I made specifically for educators! vimeo.com/ondemand/brysonbrainbasedschool
Is there any way for your books to be in Spanish or other languages.
is there any way to have you with a Spanish translator and do this video in some way and other redundantly, so I may use your work to serve Latino communities...
Hi there - we do have translations of the books available in Spanish. THE BOTTOM LINE FOR BABY, THE WHOLE-BRAIN CHILD and THE POWER OF SHOWING UP were published by Alba Editorial S.L. while NO-DRAMA DISCIPLINE and THE YES BRAIN were published by Ediciones B. You can also use the translation feature on TH-cam which will display captions in a language of your choice. Just click the gear icon and select auto-translate, then pick a language you'd like to see. I hope that helps!
Awesome
Do you ever work with children coming out of the foster system?
I speak to a lot of great organizations that work with foster kids, but don't offer direct client services at this time. If you're in or around Pasadena, you can check out TheCenterforConnection.org - I started this Center as a resource for families and we have some amazing clinicians who specialize in adoptions.
How does this work with a 20 month old?
Apologies for the delayed response but you might enjoy my Baby in the House podcast with pediatrician Phil Boucher, MD: th-cam.com/video/KX2XrZW7f4Q/w-d-xo.html
If the point of discipline is to teach, why is the entire schooling system built upon thr principle of punishment for rule breaking as a way to educate and make kids ready to join society
THIS!!!!
I am so glad that I am not a parent. lol this is so hard and crazy.
I don’t hit the kids but I do take their toys away (or burn the toys in some cases).