As someone that spent time in care and spent almost 4 years in jail as a young man that has now achieved a job in Youth Justice, this is the most relatable talk I have heard. I have a 3 year old and the reason I'm able to parent effectively and my siblings arent, even though we had similar experiences of abuse is 'presence' Also, any child being worked with by the justice system needs to be seen. They are unable to reflect and have presence so the view that punishing them will effectively change their behaviour is naive at best. The youth justice professionals should all listen to Dan to help them understand the child and their brain development. Thank you Dr! 👊
Very insightful! I agree. The greatest use of one’s life is love. The greatest expression of love is time (i.e. time spent with others, being present in their moments).
As a parent of a 26 year old who is now parenting his own child, I'm still going through these issues, vicariously, but correcting even how I deal with my own 'child'. It's never too late to correct...
Dr.Siegels work will help safe the planet and ourselves if we listen deeply, with presence, empathy, trauma informed awareness, and share with as many parents, teachers, coaches, health care providers and anyone else in the healing art professions. Please help spread this talk 🙏 💜
If only there were enough resources to educate people before, during and after pregnancy. Schools, colleges, hostels, youth programmes, young offenders institutes, just everywhere. Dan's message is so kind. Along with Shefali Tsabary and others.
I'm 30 soon. I have 9 and 6yr old boys. My eldest said to me a few weeks ago, you never play with me mummy you are always busy doing housework or reading your book (escapism). I'm not present, I know I'm not and I'm just grinding out another day. To what end I don't even know. Before I had kids I thought I'd be an active parent, my parents didn't particularly acknowledge me unless I was bad and I didn't realise how much I took on the dismissive attitude. I love kids, they're the future and soul. So why the hell am I only now trying to be present? 9yrs! 9yrs I've been on zombie mode and what kind of life is that? I've been repeating my cycle unconsciously. But I'm waking up now, I have to.
The was very great! I really learnt a lot! Glad to know that when we make sense of our past trauma and find ways of addressing it we can secure our lives and the future of those around us including our children! This is very hopeful and inspiring, which is what the world needs right now! Thank you so much! :)
I'm surprised there's only 20% of kids NOT being seen... Thanks Dr Siegel for this fantastic, clear and eye opening talk, so I can keep working on my kids not being in that 20%!
Has taken me almost 16 - 18 years of their life to minimize the flippin because of developmental trauma, do the other things that I did do get nullified? What to do now that they are 18 & +?
While I appreciate Dr. Siegel's literature, and research, there are elements of this video that don't sit well. Others have commented on the hyper-focus of the environmentalism, which I don't disagree with, it just seemed out of place and very much like a marketing gimmick. The illustration and explanation that was the least accurate and helpful from my perspective was the "bath time" example. First, young children need more than verbal directions and time warnings to follow through with adult directions that are 100% adult driven and motivated by the adult's desire to complete a task. Secondly, children are not responsible for our responses, reactions, or feelings EVER. If you're about to "flip your lid" it's YOUR responsibility to get back to a regulated state regardless of what your children are doing. When asked for an explanation of what "should" have been done and said in this example it "should" look something more like: "It's time to get out of the bath. I know you're having so much fun, and now it's time to move on to the next task. Can you get out by yourself, or would you like help?" If the children continue to resist, you move along calmly and respectfully, "You don't want to get out. I hear you. It's time. I'm going to pick you up and take you to get your pajamas on." Or you can make it playful, turn it into a game of some kind. At no time should an adult say, "I'm going to flip my lid, you need to do X in order to prevent that from happening." It's healthy to share our emotional state so we can model self-regulation and soothing techniques - "I'm starting to feel frustrated/angry/overwhelmed so I'm going to take a break to calm down. I'll be back in 5 minutes."
Telling kids that " we have about a dozen years..." (21:45) is child abuse. It's no wonder so many kids are messed up in the head when this crap keeps getting crammed down their throats. They're feeling "unbelievable terror" because of people like you, Dan.
These information has limited value, all of these experts have accumulated a lot of knowledge through their studies and through their experiences with their patients, but in their own life they have sane problems as rest of us. These experts go to the field of therapy and psychology is because of their own childhood trauma, what is missing from all these experts understanding is that, they do see that lack of Love and affection is the cause of all human traumas, pain, lack of understanding, therefore broken confused relationship. We talk about love, but for us love has become just word, we repeated as word is the thing. So what these experts trying to do is that they are trying to come up with some tools so we can manage raising child with less damage, but if we have love in heart, and we are not selfish, then our actions will be right almost all the time. There is no way a confused and damaged conditioned mind, which is full of problems can solve these problems, but what these experts offer us is the best thing people have, at least they are exposing our problems and challenges.
Siegel , what a precious human being! Thank you.
Why hasn't this man been more recorgnised globally with awards? I read everything he writes.
Such people are rarely recognised because they are not Billionaires.
Because the people in charge don't want good parenting.
💯 one hundred percent wondering the exact same thing.
As someone that spent time in care and spent almost 4 years in jail as a young man that has now achieved a job in Youth Justice, this is the most relatable talk I have heard. I have a 3 year old and the reason I'm able to parent effectively and my siblings arent, even though we had similar experiences of abuse is 'presence'
Also, any child being worked with by the justice system needs to be seen. They are unable to reflect and have presence so the view that punishing them will effectively change their behaviour is naive at best.
The youth justice professionals should all listen to Dan to help them understand the child and their brain development.
Thank you Dr! 👊
Nice work Andi :)
I would like to see a talk on Parenting /Teaching / Mentoring with you and Dr Van der Kolk
Its Very goo😂😂😂😂😂😂
Dr Dan Siegel, you are a treasure to this humanity!
"It isn't my fault, but it is my responsibility." Yes!
34:48 he is putting a very important message out in the world. Why the world is in a state of mental ‚unhealth’... God bless this man.
Very insightful! I agree. The greatest use of one’s life is love. The greatest expression of love is time (i.e. time spent with others, being present in their moments).
Thank you Dr Siegel for your generosity....Always sharing your knowledge
As a parent of a 26 year old who is now parenting his own child, I'm still going through these issues, vicariously, but correcting even how I deal with my own 'child'. It's never too late to correct...
Dr.Siegels work will help safe the planet and ourselves if we listen deeply, with presence, empathy, trauma informed awareness, and share with as many parents, teachers, coaches, health care providers and anyone else in the healing art professions. Please help spread this talk 🙏 💜
If only there were enough resources to educate people before, during and after pregnancy. Schools, colleges, hostels, youth programmes, young offenders institutes, just everywhere. Dan's message is so kind. Along with Shefali Tsabary and others.
Wow even here you find haters disliking this amazing talk. Thanks for sharing this incledible piece of knowledge guys!
Fabulous. Thank you. Dan Siegel is aweseome!
Thank you. This stuff gains acceptance with understanding and an acknowledgment with an experience. My deepest respect.
I'm 30 soon. I have 9 and 6yr old boys. My eldest said to me a few weeks ago, you never play with me mummy you are always busy doing housework or reading your book (escapism). I'm not present, I know I'm not and I'm just grinding out another day. To what end I don't even know. Before I had kids I thought I'd be an active parent, my parents didn't particularly acknowledge me unless I was bad and I didn't realise how much I took on the dismissive attitude. I love kids, they're the future and soul. So why the hell am I only now trying to be present? 9yrs! 9yrs I've been on zombie mode and what kind of life is that? I've been repeating my cycle unconsciously. But I'm waking up now, I have to.
The was very great! I really learnt a lot! Glad to know that when we make sense of our past trauma and find ways of addressing it we can secure our lives and the future of those around us including our children! This is very hopeful and inspiring, which is what the world needs right now! Thank you so much! :)
This is wonderful - and so important. I have listened, and I shall listen again, and just beginning to hear. Thank you so much.
Thankyou for such a beautiful lecture
This was incredible. I feel empowrred for it. What a great mind!
I'm surprised there's only 20% of kids NOT being seen... Thanks Dr Siegel for this fantastic, clear and eye opening talk, so I can keep working on my kids not being in that 20%!
Profound and worth watching! Thank you Dr. Siegel.
I love dr siegel❤❤❤❤
*4 S's:
1. Seen
2. Sooth
3. Safe
4. Secure*
Was hoping you were going to list all of them, the 4 S's, 2 R's, 3 P's, and the 1 M
*3 P's:
1. Presence
2. Parenting
3. Planetary/Planets*
02:18 4S
02:54 seen
05:03 sooth
06:33 safe
08:27 secure
To be continued..
thank you, thank you, thank you
So good! Thank you very much!
Daniel Siegel should meet Rupert Spira and Donald Hoffman: they have much in common!
Has taken me almost 16 - 18 years of their life to minimize the flippin because of developmental trauma, do the other things that I did do get nullified? What to do now that they are 18 & +?
what Buddha discovered 2500 yrs ago. Buddha entered w ethics kindness honesty speech no harm etc
Healthy body, healthy mind, means living in a healthy and clean environment.
*Paths are a a subject to external conditions and constraints.*
The outcome of Mwe is Allence. Thank you.
While I appreciate Dr. Siegel's literature, and research, there are elements of this video that don't sit well. Others have commented on the hyper-focus of the environmentalism, which I don't disagree with, it just seemed out of place and very much like a marketing gimmick. The illustration and explanation that was the least accurate and helpful from my perspective was the "bath time" example. First, young children need more than verbal directions and time warnings to follow through with adult directions that are 100% adult driven and motivated by the adult's desire to complete a task. Secondly, children are not responsible for our responses, reactions, or feelings EVER. If you're about to "flip your lid" it's YOUR responsibility to get back to a regulated state regardless of what your children are doing. When asked for an explanation of what "should" have been done and said in this example it "should" look something more like: "It's time to get out of the bath. I know you're having so much fun, and now it's time to move on to the next task. Can you get out by yourself, or would you like help?" If the children continue to resist, you move along calmly and respectfully, "You don't want to get out. I hear you. It's time. I'm going to pick you up and take you to get your pajamas on." Or you can make it playful, turn it into a game of some kind. At no time should an adult say, "I'm going to flip my lid, you need to do X in order to prevent that from happening." It's healthy to share our emotional state so we can model self-regulation and soothing techniques - "I'm starting to feel frustrated/angry/overwhelmed so I'm going to take a break to calm down. I'll be back in 5 minutes."
💖💖💖
Telling kids that " we have about a dozen years..." (21:45) is child abuse. It's no wonder so many kids are messed up in the head when this crap keeps getting crammed down their throats. They're feeling "unbelievable terror" because of people like you, Dan.
Even if parents don't, they get brainwashed in the schools
*2 R's:
1. Reactive
2. Receptive*
The nos made me want to stop you. Then when I couldn't I began to hide and withdraw mentally.
Holding the view of a separate self makes the planet... a potty
mwe is the meaning of the African word "ubuntu"
Love MWE
***Yes & No Exercise is Effective***
"No" provoked emotions of control, disapproval, distance, distrust. "Yes" provoked emotions of freedom, acknowledgment, care, positive attention.
Homelessness is an S-
Ironic this guy giving a talk at Google.
But,... he (and others) still drink out of plastic water bottles... 😔
It is WAY better to use a glass or stainless steel reusable bottle! 💕 Please, please think about that!
These information has limited value, all of these experts have accumulated a lot of knowledge through their studies and through their experiences with their patients, but in their own life they have sane problems as rest of us. These experts go to the field of therapy and psychology is because of their own childhood trauma, what is missing from all these experts understanding is that, they do see that lack of Love and affection is the cause of all human traumas, pain, lack of understanding, therefore broken confused relationship. We talk about love, but for us love has become just word, we repeated as word is the thing. So what these experts trying to do is that they are trying to come up with some tools so we can manage raising child with less damage, but if we have love in heart, and we are not selfish, then our actions will be right almost all the time. There is no way a confused and damaged conditioned mind, which is full of problems can solve these problems, but what these experts offer us is the best thing people have, at least they are exposing our problems and challenges.
Does this dude even have kids
Yes he does.
A son and a daughter.