I was seeing a guy that is a double in looks as him and this was s few years ago and in the end I was watching hes vids instead of working on the guy I met. MADNESS HEY XX
Nothing to be nervous about, he is just a human like everyone else. Every single person on this planet have insecurities, they are just in different fields. Some fields are just more visible then others :)
I think it's really tricky to flirt with someone in the customer service industry because it's part of our job to be nice to you or at least pretend. I work in a local shop and sometimes guys around my age will come in and mistake mine and my coworkers normal customer service demeanor with flirty behavior. Your advice is good but to anyone who has their eyes on someone in the service industry, really try and be objective when noticing their reactions, because making pointless small talk is something we all have to suffer through at work weather we like you or not.
I think a girl will actually knows if a guy likes her by him being a little extra attentive towards her, we FEEL it! Now if she's asking if he likes her, that's just because you already know he doesn't like you but u ask in hopes to change his mind about you telepathically. Don't be that girl to force a guy to like you. You might miss out on your true love!
I don't believe I could ever approach Matthew with anything in mind other than genuine friendship - the plutonic kind. I mean, he would see EVERY angle you've got coming from a mile away. I wonder what it would be like to "catch" Matthew ... you'd definitely have to bring your "A" game plus a little magic, I imagine.
Not every women in this world knows that he knows what he knows and that he has an TH-cam channel where he talks about these things, and would approach him as she would to anyone else... I also like to compare a bit to the bar owner in the movie "He's just not into you..." Relationships and love may have a pattern, but don't ignore the exceptions, they are real...He might know a lot about all this but not everything and surely not every women...I guess.
You know, I have to wholeheartedly disagree with you on this. My family has been body guards to kings and queens, we've dealt with numerous celebrities and people famous in their field, rather than put him on a pedestal, remember everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time. No one wants to be hurt or used - ever. The key is to not be attracted to his authority, power or what have you. The key is to always be attracted to the person inside the celebrity cocoon. For many, Fame is a nightmarish cage. Many of my "celebrity" friends and famiky go thru are heartbreaking. They don't get an "off time." I always wanted to create a T-shirt line that said, "Yes, I am him, but this is my family time" or "Do Not disturb celebrity, stay calm and move on." :) I simply have a ton of respect for them. Matthew included. Even with Dr. Ruth and Oprah, I do not think womenfolk have ever had a man just talk to us. Thank You.
You know, I have to wholeheartedly disagree with you on this. My family has been body guards to kings and queens, we've dealt with numerous celebrities and people famous in their field, rather than put him on a pedestal, remember everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time. No one wants to be hurt or used - ever. The key is to not be attracted to his authority, power or what have you. The key is to always be attracted to the person inside the celebrity cocoon. For many, Fame is a nightmarish cage. Many "celebrity" friends and family go thru some heartbreaking situation. They don't get an "off time." I always wanted to create a T-shirt line that said, "Yes, I am him, but this is my family time" or "Do Not disturb celebrity, stay calm and move on." :) I simply have a ton of respect for them. Matthew included. Even with Dr. Ruth and Oprah, I do not think womenfolk have ever had a man just talk to us. Thank You.
Him: The girl didn't bump to me, but said sorry--- probably her way of saying "hi"? Me: She was probably Canadian... I have a friend that apologized to the chair after bumping into it 🤦♀️
😂 I do that too and everyone looks at me as if I'm crazy. In Turkey most people don't even follows the common rules and when I follow a "not mandatory rule" my friends say we are not in Canada don't do that otherwise people are gonna think you are naive. (I wanna live in Canada btw that is why they especially say that 😁)
Yes I know I had a friend a few years ago that thought literally everywhere she went boys were flirting with her. I mean shit. Would you rather them be rude??
Yes I agree I don't think he likes her. From what she was saying to him it's pretty obvious she likes him. He knows but he's not doing anything about it.
C0_0KI3 Tell them face to face and be honest, thst is the best thing you can do, if they really liked you they will get hurt but it will hurt the least and will give them.direct closure.
Thinking that you shouldn't be direct with a guy that likes you is potentially dangerous especially if you are stubborn about it. Men don't like being played coy with and can really effect their mental state as sometimes they search only for a definite answer so they get a clear understanding of something.
"Hi, i'm not into you but thank you for asking me out. It takes you a lot of confidence to do that and women will apreciate your gesture." With that sentence you build confidence in him instead of fear. Never humiliates a man in public that's all.
umm some people are just nice though. If a guy is interested he'll make an effort. Guys pursue and focus on what they want. Flirt with him but don't do the job for him of pursuing. Personally, I like guys that are go getters, confident, know what they want and try to win me over. It makes me feel feminine and not like a mom where I would do the hard work to make things easy for him. Woman know your worth.
Be careful with judging what counts as 'go out of his way', or if a behaviour pattern counts as a sign of interest. My groupmate is always texting me and very helpful and caring. (So as IRL) Turns out he is like that with everyone, because he is a super friendly and caring and outgoing, kind person. So at this point , no idea how to identify anything more specific.
OMG I wish I would have heard this years ago. I never picked up on the fact that a past boyfriend was incredibly boring until I'd wasted a year. I thought he was just shy. where were you 7 years ago 😅
girl ur text it's too long ,I can't finish, but I got the point. According to ur text you like this guy but I think you did not give him a enough time to burn with love at same level where you are now. your last text message is full of despair, and damn men hates desperate women, another think, if I man ignores your message without any clear explanation, trust me he's not someone you wanna be around, the harder you try they sicker they get about you and lose interest. two things move any man. love or hunger. if man ignores you he either hates you or he has no idea what heck he's doing, and you agony feeds his ego, so block him every where. from the message u sound like u had sex with him, if you did the feeling you have for him is fear to lose someone who shared intimacy, but if you didn't you have nothing to lose. move on and train your brain to forget him, and take a break from anything that reminds u of him, next time you accidentally meet tell him that you can't remember him. it works don't be mean to him, just be a new version of someone he used to kwn (a better version ) love you girl this shit hurts and makes us better too
I also had that kind of weird feeling like you think that someone is attracted to you but sometimes our intuition is wrong. I realized that he's just being friendly to me
I realize this isn't the main point of the video, but I think it's a mistake to confuse shyness with insecurity and blandness, as if you have to be assertive to be interesting. I think humble self-confidence is the main thing, and that's just as much within the reach of a quite person as it is of a talkative one. It's a disservice to every personality type to glorify one over another. Each one has it's own unique strengths and weaknesses, and people who fail to realize this do so to their own detriment.
Spidey 101 Yes, you seem like a real charmer, but in the interest of "cutting right through the bullshit," I follow Matthew because he provides well-intended insight into the secular dating scene. He doesn't always say what I want to hear; that's why I was disagreeing with him. But if you or anyone else is interested in a well-informed opinion on introversion, I'd check out Susan Cain's work at QuietRev.com. She wrote a ground-breaking, much-needed book, "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking." You can find her TED Talks about it here on TH-cam.
literally makes no sense. why do people have this idea that all men are these 'go getter' confident guys who chase girls around? some are shy, some are afraid, some are confused. you need to be able to understand men to be able to get along with them. it's not all black and white. we all feel the same things.
ZizYoubizHERE My comment was not just about men tbh. I just think that even the most shy person ever shows sth when he's interested in. I'm kinda introvert but when I like someone i can't hide it completely... When someone is interested in you you feel it. That's my opinion at least
NadiaKon I disagree completely. Some people suppress their feelings because they don't know how to show it, they get scared, or they so shy or they send mixed signals but don't mean it. A friend of mine had liked me for 4 years and I had no idea. I was obsessed with a guy in my classes and he likes me too but he never approached me because he thought I wasn't interested. Not everyone shows it clearly so it leaves you wondering. It's not always crystal clear. Doesn't mean if you're not sure that he or she isn't into you.
Next thing you know, we'll be hearing that Matthew is dating a Canadian girl. "How'd you meet?" Matthew: "She said 'sorry' to me...for no reason at all...". (I'm Canadian and I'm NOT sorry!)
I would say because he works at a coffee shop, ask him what his favorite drink is because u want to try something different and then u build up conversation from there. Most importantly, u have to realize that ppl are just trying to be 'nice' to u because they are at their place of work. While he's making u his favorite drink, u could possibly ask probing questions like, 'what do u do for fun' . It's so hard sometimes to know if a person is attracted to u especially when we women, expect men to make the first move. But hey, ask him out anyways, the least that could go wrong would be u buying coffee from elsewhere if he says no he's not interested.
He does it for sport, just to see how perfect of a girl he can actually get. He finds the one..but analyzes her so much that even when she's doing something right he thinks it's wrong because his mind is gone at this point. He's so focused on following his own advice, he's forgotten how to feel. He grows old and is stuck in a nursing home, develops dementia, and losses his filter. He reverts to the man he never wanted to be..cat calling and pinching nurses butts as they walk by. He dies of pneumonia.
mat was once a player or maybe they man everyone came to with there issues, so he listened an made a TH-cam video of playing the game of relationships.
Usually your food servers or baristas are nice to you or downright flirting with you because there's a possibility you'll tip well. Don't read much into it.
I think she's adding too much value to him because he's good looking. He sounds like he doesn't have much personality or he has a girlfriend/not interested. When someone is into you YOU KNOW. They're always trying to chat to you/get your attention. You don't have to work this hard.
123videocity well im not sure about that!! I have met a guy who is always texting me for long chats, but he never gets into romantic topics. So im confused as hell. My current theory is that he is gay but pretending to be straight because he is very lonely.
I've tried "a few risks" as you call it, on the guy I'm attracted to. After doing that we started catching our gazes more often. Usually it was a little bit odd because we were gazing at each other in the same, exact moment and we always turn our eyes straight into eyes of second person. Then, couple months ago we bumped into each other (I haven't seen anyone next to me) while overtaking some slowly moving people. Into each other in the same time. Also, a second later, both of us said "pardon" in the same time xD But I haven't even realized it was him til, a moment later, I turned my head into his direction (I noticed this person doesn't overtaking anyone anymore). I saw he's looking at me and walking by my side with smile on his face. That was so funny :D Now we sometimes go shopping to the same market and welcome each other. Also jogging together on bus station, lol.
This guy works in customer service. He gets paid to smile and be nice to every customer, regardless of the sex...You are probably making him feel very uncomfortable every single day. The moment he sees you enter the coffee shop, he says to himself: "oh, no, here she goes again, that crazy lady". The fact that he is "boring" or "shy", or..."doesn't make the move" just proves the point that he is doing his job.
why do those dating tips exist everywhere? sometimes it does seem creepy. maybe it's how you do it. like using cheezy pickup lines on someone who works in a super market. "thank you for shopping with us, did you find everything you wanted?" or "are you looking for something, i can help you" "oh I'm looking for that special someone, I don't know if you can help me with that. can you? that would be great"
Thank you! I have been watching a lot of these 'reading Sydney's videos lately. This has been the only one I've seen that seems like it might really be helpful. "Reading patterns" and testing. Of course. It might be the only way I can get to the bottom of figuring out how this person feels about me. I've been flailing. Sometimes I don't know if he's just doing his job or there is a potential for a meaningful friendship or if maybe his feelings go beyond that sometimes. I don't want to accidentally say something innappropriate and make him uncomfortable because he is soft spoken and sometimes it seems he can't help but to wear his emotions on his sleeve for whatever is going on in his life that week. I recognize that because I am the same way. Thank you for giving me a tool to work with and one I can be careful with because at other times I have trouble reading him. I have not had feelings for someone in quite a while and wasn't looking to. That's when situations seem to show up and because of the nature of his job, I want to do what's best for him, but in him I find a kindred soul. I believe you meet people for a reason, so I would love to at least call him a long time friend someday. People come and people go and often circumstances control that and often it's a real bummer when you have to let someone go, never to know what happened to them. I am hoping this is not one of those situations. Thanks again. I don't feel helpless and clueless now.
I agree with Matthew. Since he already knows you and you've spoken to each other. Take things slow and push a little bit. If the guy is truly interested he will ask you out. Just like Matthew said if he has not asked you out by the second attempt then sorry to say he really is not interested.
To girls who read this comment. If you really like the guy and it's really important to you, then just ask him directly, if he'd like to have a date with you, get to know each other, see where things might lead. Many guys are very dense and will never get your "signals", many guys might just think that you are being friendly with him. Other guys will be quite shy, some might be so shy that they'll want to run away because they start panicking, or simply freeze and their mind sets out. If you really like him, then make sure if that's the case or not. If he says no, then it's a no. Be civil, as you'd expect it from a guy whom you reject. If he's so shy that he can't handle the situation, try again later (only if you think he's worth it and you have genuine feelings for him), otherwise wait for him to deal with his anxiety, as a relationship at this point wouldn't be something he can handle.
You made really good points, but I think we keep forgetting the fact that "NOT EVERYONE FALLS UNDER THESE GENERALIZATIONS" for example, this guy who is shy. He could just seem shy because he's not as social as you seem to require. Not everyone can be bold or confident enough to approach a woman and strike up a conversation. You being a female doesn't remove the fact that you're also human. Men aren't always the ones to make the first move. Just as there are really confident and strong women out there, there's also very conservative/shy men as well. If he's too shy to start a convo, there's nothing wrong with you taking it on yourself to talk to him. Let him go with the flow. Even if he seems shy at first, that's normal, he would get used to you guys talking, which would get him to open up a bit more each time, which in turn removes the shyness. As women, especially the ones who have their SH*t together (or at least appear to) we are very intimidating as is, imagine the intimidation for someone who's shy. So stop the "oh I'm a female, I shouldn't be the one making the first move or pursuing a guy" Be Flirty, Be Feminine, but be confident in yourself and what you want, then go get it. Perfect example, Matthew mentioned a female in the gym who initiated contact. She was cute, flirtatious, but also very obvious that she was into Mathew ( with all his sexiness lol) Small efforts like saying hi first can be the simplest way to break the ice.
Well put. Think if a woman is a feminine type but initiates the contact and the guy gets the hint that's great but if this is always the case going forward then she could loose interest quickly. Two cents.
yea I’m extremely feminine so I don’t like making the fist move and like to wait for them to come to me, I notice the ones who are more confident in themselves or seem more happy while the guys who seem more quiet and reserved rarely ever make the first move with me . Could be that some really don’t have no interest in me but I feel like those types are too shy to ever say anything too and I understand that
I get your point but I don’t like being the one doing the first move. From my experience- it always ends up with an unreciprocated relationship & broken hearts. I rather wait for a man to approach me from now-on
To add on to his last point, a guy could be really shy, not interested, or be in a relationship but still attracted but doesn't want to give you the wrong idea which is literally my life. I would love to know how to hint back, "hey I like you too but I'm not single but maybe if one day if we both are then let's give it a shot."
This is my second video watching this guy. I was very cynical at first. He was very shallow and almost sleezy like he was trying to sell a car or something But this video makes me think he really does care about the advice he's giving. good show, Matthew.
I recently summoned my inner Matthew Hussey, I've been in the complicated things with this guy, it's been going for almost a year. Well he recently told me he can old offer me friendship at this time but in the future if I'm willing he'd loved to explore things. I responded by said saying "I'm okay with being friends, it's better Ann nothing and in the future depending on where I'm at in life I'd love to explore things if I'm not in a relationship of course" I showed him I'm not gonna sit and wait on him but yet if I'm single and he's single and the timing is right then yeah maybe we could explore things. Just watching You're Videos Matthew and reading How To Get The Guy, has helped in the Guy department so much! So thank you💗
I have 2 questions. 1. How far will a guy go to get your attention? 2. Have you had anyone ask you about if it is even worth it to open yourself up to the possibility that a guy is interested after multiple disappointments and the feeling that a romantic relationship is pointless?
Hey Matt, first of all just wanna say I love your work. You have a great team with you. I don't know if you're gonna read this but it's worth the shot. Can guys really wait for you?? I met this guy November last year while I was in the USA for an exchange program. We met a month before my flight back home. He showed himself totally different from all the guys I have met during my two years in the USA and I will go even farther and say in my whole life ( but I'm young (23) so it's hard to compare to the teenage years). He is older, just turned 34, and since day one he was caring and lovely, wasn't afraid to show any kind of affection, always hugging me and telling how beautiful he thinks I am and always making plans for the future when I go back to the USA ( this July hopefully), never afraid of being public about it in person. That we would travel, that my welcome back party would be at his new house that he was just finishing the kitchen and blablabla. I came back to Brazil in December and since then we've been talking almost every day, he is still the same sweet guy I met, already talked about the possibility of we having something more serious when I comeback and said that he can wait 5 months cause I'm worth waiting. I know it's probably me being very insecure because I've been played many times already, one specific that broke me very bad and was very similar to this scenario. I know I was younger and also the guy I was dating at the time was much younger than he is but I still can't help the feeling I might be playing the fool once more. Any exercise I can make to help push the insecurity away? Or am I really being a fool on believing he can wait for me all this time? He is great but doesn't show much in public on Facebook and it's silly but I'd feel much more comfortable I think if he was more open about us there. He is private about everything on Facebook so I have full consciousness that it's a silly thing to care about so please HELP!! Hahaha Thank you so much for everything ❤ Best of luck with all your work.
This is great advice, but my favorite parts of the video are the bits where Matthew's talking about the neighbors and the fact that you know Jamison (Jameson?) didn't edit them out on purpose
Well, now I know. People, including me adore the loud noises that make us - in the video - painfully shy. It is endearing. In my Brabant Connection video on Patreon, a floor waxing machine went by only 6 ft from me. Even though no one ever donated to my Art, everyone that saw the video and met me, loved my concern, laughter and shyness. Do more like this
thank you Matthew for all you do. even though I'm married I enjoy and discover fascinating things that women must know through your videos . interestingly, your videos help me to spruce up my marriage, imagine that. you are the adviser each woman must have. my question is it a way to get all your publications programs in 1 place ? I see you have different links for different programs to buy but is it 1 link for all of them? thanks man
Hey Matthew, so I am a socially awkward lacking confidence, plus sized 37yr old single woman. I was recently a wedding, where whilst having a blast with my friends, the photographer who I had seen moving around the guests smoothly all night, suddenly appeared at my side, and gave me his camera! ...along with the words “I think you should do my job, I think you’d be great”. Now, as someone who is never approached by guys, at first, I was rather bewildered, but I pressed on, and took advantage of my new “occupation”. I eventually took the camera back to him, as it had seemed like he’d completely left me with it and at one point, had looked about for him, but he had seemingly vanished. After some time later, I had the opportunity to really take a look at him, and we’ll, he was cute. But, even though he was hanging around a little to talk at the end of the night we still didn’t get to exchange numbers, as I truly only realised (after explaining the interaction, and asking my friend) that he as quite possibly flirting with me when I was in the car in the way back to my hotel. The interaction has played on my mind for a few days now (since the wedding); as its such a rare thing for me, and always left wondering what may have happened. Thanks for listening.
With Matts help I can now tell if a guy is into me or not. I used to be clueless and in denial, but now I can read body language it's a blessing. I was talking to a guy casually recently and his full body was turned away and he was looking around the room. I'm just THAT captivating ;) Luckily I wasn't attracted to him, but that was my warning sign to move on and it's a great thing to be able to notice when you are talking to men you ARE attracted to :) When I can see a guy im attracted to is using positive body language towards me, that's when I suggest exchanging numbers. Hasn't failed so far! That's what this girl needs to do: strike a conversation, read the cues and respond accordingly.
yumchou the point of seduction is making the other person wonder if u like them or not, it's exciting, it's all about the mind games. It applies with everything, in general, not just relationships.
Maggie Mejorado, sure, i see your point! but it sounded like the woman asking was not about the mind game thing, otherwise she wouldn't wonder if he really liked her or just flirted/was nice, you know? she would just enjoy those little moments where he shies away and not try to read into it too much. that's how it seemed to me, maybe i misunderstood. i agree with you that seduction is a very exciting thing though, absolutely
Toby Bradley what if that pushes him away though, do you guys back off when a girl is trying to flirt with you, i.e. making eye contact, smiling, etc. What would you do if you like her too?
If it pushes him away, chances are it wasn't meant to be. You're better off taking the risk. Or you'll potentially lose the opportunity all together. Personally, I like it when a girl is forward when it comes to flirting. It's more of a turn on, than a turn off.
Jewel Kitty Well exactly. If you explicitly say I'm flirting - not flirting. Problem solved! Be clear about your intentions. If a guy takes it as flirting, and say you're not. Tell him 'Sorry, just being friendly'. If you decide to start giving guys the cold shoulder. Then that's your choice, but chances are you're watching this video to find someone. So that would not work in your favour.
Once I tried to flirt with a guy who did philosophy, so to impress him I responded with 'what are you, Kant?' question. 'Hi Clark' is not the worst idea you can have.
I'm telling you, girlfriend. He's not that into you, that cafe guy. He's eager to say hi to you?? Ha, he should be running his business to make a living and you're one of his customers. 'Nough said.
I always think the guys I like was too shy to show his feelings to me, as he is an introvert. But now I have met and talk to people, guys who are introvert, is interested. They can be subtle but they will step up to show you that they would like to meet you again, etc :D so yes, if they are into you in someway, you will feel it without needing to find it :) Just sharing here so ladies can save some time from waiting for a sign from a "shy" guy...that 90% is not interested enough to ever let us know in the first place ☺ *this is also a message to myself in the future when I check this video again* 🤣 Just sharing
I'm the type of girl who has no clue a guy likes me till they are literally climbing on top of me or trying to Kiss me..then Im like wait, what?? you like me??..lol
In a coffee shop, it's just good customer service it's there job to do it, when you see that person out of the workplace totally different they blank you or mooded looking. 😂
I was at gym yesterday and tried grabbing my keys from personal locker area but there was a guy in front of me. And I apologized for being in his space as he was trying to finish put on his shoes. Normally I'm super shy and just look down but he looked straight into my eyes and smiled. And as he smiled he was sort of taking his time and gave a cheesier grin. And I realized God he is beautiful. And he said You're fine. I smiled and just enjoyed the moment. I hope we run into each other again just so I can see him smile. lol
Then when you've tried a few things and his pattern of behaviour is total non-responsiveness, so you call it a day and stop giving him attention, and THIS is when he starts making an effort to talk to you...Good Times With Mind Games! ;)
Been watching these videos to "educate" myself about relationships etc., but im afraid its more leading to develope a platonic love to Matthew -_- I mean.. the sparkles in his eyes?! Oh boy.. :D ♡
as a man girls i agree with Matthew 100% , personaly i call it green light when someone gives you the green light by talking to you a bit more or telling you a copliment he likes you ..now if a girl gives a green light to a guy and he doesnt respond the way you want and tells you a short answer he probably dont like you or he is in a relation .. throw him the ball and let him play the game thats the way to go if he likes you and he is free 100% he ll talk to you and find the way..but carefull DONT make it to easy because guys dont like it and ends up to an MPI...cheers!
Christian C - as a woman I agree with you. Men don't like to be rushed. If he doesn't pick up and act on your signals he's 1) not interested 2) in a relationship and/or 3) gay.
I paused this video twice because I thought I heard a girl shrieking from the house behind mine, then he broke script and addressed it... glad it wasn't my imagination
Lol. The pattern of the guy I'm wondering about changes though. He tries to touch me and talk to me more than necessary, but then the next time he sees me, he goes out of his way to imply he doesn't know me. One time he legit said "I don't know her" straight to my face while he was talking to my friend who forced him to greet me since he had been ignoring me all night. He flat out asked me for my name for the first 5 times we ran into each other. Not sure if it's his way of telling me he wants to know more about me or if it's his way of telling me he doesn't care enough to even take note of my freakin' name. He's incredibly hard to read. In the moment, when we touch or share eye contact, my gut tells me he's into me, I'm a cancer and our intuition is next level. But then again, when I haven't see him in a while I start over-thinking small things that we shared and making them out to be signals or signs of his interest in me. And because of my pride, I end up convincing myself that my friends and me are telling me what I want to hear and not what's actually the truth. These games are incredibly tedious. 😒
Freezing question: how do you make the différence between a guy who is not interested and a guy who is freezing be cause he is interested? Knowing it would help me lot. I found myself In 2 situations with the freezing guys: - either I am not interested and I am overfriendly which leads to déclaration I haven't coming by send the wrong message -either I like the Guy, I am freezing as well and nothing is happening but awkard moments The scénario could be that is not intereseted, I keep showing signs of interests thinking he is freezing and I make A fool of myself. Help:)
Honestly, I was one of those guys so that's a tough one. I just didn't know how to respond to girls coming on to me and didn't even think about it. However, that doesn't mean that I wouldn't have dated one or wouldn't have been interested in one. Your comment was 5 years ago so this is probably pointless to you but maybe helpful to someone else. I would be more bold with a guy like that. Because sometimes their self esteem is so low (probably due to their upbringing/past trauma) that they are basically as shy as a shy girl. You will literally have act like a man in that situation. That's for men who literally have no idea what to do. However, I did know how to talk to women. I wasn't shy there. I just didn't know how to respond to come ons. I was also brought up conservative so I didn't even think about if I wanted anything to do with a girl. It is hard to give advice on this. I would find out if the guy is religious or brought up strict. I was also a demisexual (whatever the man version of it would be) so you'd have to first be my friend and then things would have to evolve naturally. It's nearly impossible for a man to navigate with these circumstances because women just assume you're not interested and honestly a guy like me wouldn't even know or think about it. Women can get away being this way because men are the ones who make the moves. Women just have to sit there and think about how to respond.
That reminds me of everytime I try to go outside to talk, listen to music or just enjoy outside. Someone is always mowing grass, it gets too hot or something.
Also the reason could be because he's not attracted to women...i'm having a difficult time with this, as much as you can try to read a man's sexuality...there is no point in putting all my charm and efforts in flirting if i couldn't read him (not been available to women)... and believe me some men you wouldn't know unless they tell you...so please can we have a video about this?... I love gay men, they make brilliant friends but i as a straight woman i'm scared to "put my foot on it" when approaching men... lets be real no all men are available to women so can we please discuss this possibility and how to handle it?....
Hmm why set her up? The coffee shop guy is clearly not into her... it's his job to greet clients. She's been doing all the prodding ... and now she's reaching out to a dating "expert" ! Oh please ... wake up and smell the coffee!!
Hi Matt, I would really like some advice please. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year, I'm 27, he's 35. This is my first relationship. I know deep down in my heart he is the one. For the last six months or so he has had noticeable, diagnosed depression, and I don't know how long he was suffering before he admitted he had it. It's been tough, during his depressive episodes he's convinced he's hurting everyone around him, me included. He rarely takes his meds as he thinks he can fix this on his own. He doesn't understand why I'm still with him. Time after time I have to convince him that I still want to be with him. It all came to a head a few days ago, when he said he couldn't continue hurting me (I get upset easily and worry too much about his welfare) so he was basically saying he couldn't see how we could be together any more. I didn't want to leave him, I don't know if it's selfish but the pain of losing him was too great, and I also think deep down we still have a future together. So in the end he couldn't tell me it was over, and he left it up to me to either cut and run or stay. I said I still wanted to stay in a relationship. He's constantly afraid of upsetting me, even the slightest thing has him apologising and saying he can't cope. I've offered to back off for a while, to see if me not being there helps him recover slightly, but he never agrees to that when I suggest it. I'm a little inexperienced when it comes to love, but I'm a firm believer that if you love someone, you stay by them through thick and thin. Some days he's jokey and seems fine, but others it's as if the worlds' ending. I suppose what I'm asking is how to you care for someone in that state of mind, how do you be there for them when you know it's the depression talking? Any help/advice is greatly appreciated, even if it's blunt honest truth.
I wouldnt have even noticed the kids or basketball if you hadnt said so, Im just mesmerized by what you are saying and thinking how it relates to my life.
Sorry to do this, but the best public speaker is who can use the distraction in his advantage, or ignore it without getting the audience attention towards that. I had not realized the kids until you mentioned.
I feel like every woman comes to this channel for love advice, and then ends up having a crush on Matt instead haha
I was seeing a guy that is a double in looks as him and this was s few years ago and in the end I was watching hes vids instead of working on the guy I met. MADNESS HEY XX
hahahaha.. exactly ☺️
I am one of them
Lol, that is me 🤣
It’s the accent mate
" be careful if the local coffee shop has good coffee, you take that slow " dying
explain
Sasha Yurevna because you don't want to mess things up and have to find a new coffee place, since it's hard to find a good coffee place
LivSPIRATION best advice ever
NYCzora right 😂❤️
instablaster...
I wonder who is dating him, I mean him knowing this things about dating and staff would make me nervous if I was dating him.
Yas. Me too. I am curious about that too. 😂😂
Kidy Kassa hahah yes me too 😅😅 but he's good looking too,
Kidy Kassa this
I'd like to challenge him lol
Nothing to be nervous about, he is just a human like everyone else. Every single person on this planet have insecurities, they are just in different fields. Some fields are just more visible then others :)
I think it's really tricky to flirt with someone in the customer service industry because it's part of our job to be nice to you or at least pretend. I work in a local shop and sometimes guys around my age will come in and mistake mine and my coworkers normal customer service demeanor with flirty behavior. Your advice is good but to anyone who has their eyes on someone in the service industry, really try and be objective when noticing their reactions, because making pointless small talk is something we all have to suffer through at work weather we like you or not.
Marissa is going to be drinking a lot more coffee
Lol
😂😂😂😂
@l f bruh / sis 😂😂😂😂
Maybe it will increase to coffee and biscuits.
😍😘
Every girl needs a tiny Mathew Hussey in their pocket 🤣
Right? That constantly helps us making the right decision for all these stupid men
Or somewhere😍
Hotpocket....lol
I really need
I rather have him in real size 😝🥵😍
I think a girl will actually knows if a guy likes her by him being a little extra attentive towards her, we FEEL it! Now if she's asking if he likes her, that's just because you already know he doesn't like you but u ask in hopes to change his mind about you telepathically. Don't be that girl to force a guy to like you. You might miss out on your true love!
haha "my names not Clark" made my day. 😂😂
4 years later, it still gets me every time😂
Same I busted out laughing hahaha
I don't believe I could ever approach Matthew with anything in mind other than genuine friendship - the plutonic kind. I mean, he would see EVERY angle you've got coming from a mile away. I wonder what it would be like to "catch" Matthew ... you'd definitely have to bring your "A" game plus a little magic, I imagine.
Is this Matthew? 🙄😊
Shar [ ]
I would freak out.
You have to bring the A, the B, and the C game.
Plus the S, which is the Sparkle in the night.
Not every women in this world knows that he knows what he knows and that he has an TH-cam channel where he talks about these things, and would approach him as she would to anyone else... I also like to compare a bit to the bar owner in the movie "He's just not into you..." Relationships and love may have a pattern, but don't ignore the exceptions, they are real...He might know a lot about all this but not everything and surely not every women...I guess.
You know, I have to wholeheartedly disagree with you on this.
My family has been body guards to kings and queens, we've dealt with numerous celebrities and people famous in their field, rather than put him on a pedestal, remember everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time.
No one wants to be hurt or used - ever.
The key is to not be attracted to his authority, power or what have you.
The key is to always be attracted to the person inside the celebrity cocoon. For many, Fame is a nightmarish cage. Many of my "celebrity" friends and famiky go thru are heartbreaking. They don't get an "off time."
I always wanted to create a T-shirt line that said, "Yes, I am him, but this is my family time" or "Do Not disturb celebrity, stay calm and move on." :)
I simply have a ton of respect for them. Matthew included. Even with Dr. Ruth and Oprah, I do not think womenfolk have ever had a man just talk to us.
Thank You.
You know, I have to wholeheartedly disagree with you on this.
My family has been body guards to kings and queens, we've dealt with numerous celebrities and people famous in their field, rather than put him on a pedestal, remember everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time.
No one wants to be hurt or used - ever.
The key is to not be attracted to his authority, power or what have you.
The key is to always be attracted to the person inside the celebrity cocoon. For many, Fame is a nightmarish cage. Many "celebrity" friends and family go thru some heartbreaking situation. They don't get an "off time."
I always wanted to create a T-shirt line that said, "Yes, I am him, but this is my family time" or "Do Not disturb celebrity, stay calm and move on." :)
I simply have a ton of respect for them. Matthew included. Even with Dr. Ruth and Oprah, I do not think womenfolk have ever had a man just talk to us.
Thank You.
"you don't get to know that " Ahhhh nooooo!!!!! why did you do that, you killing me here...I want to know what happened.
leona muringani I believe that was the point ;)
leona muringani something about that look in his eye says it went well ;)
leona muringani I literally just came to that point in the video 😂
Him: The girl didn't bump to me, but said sorry--- probably her way of saying "hi"?
Me: She was probably Canadian... I have a friend that apologized to the chair after bumping into it 🤦♀️
I’m American and I do the same thing😂
Honestly that is so Canadian 😂😂
lmaooo xD
😂 I do that too and everyone looks at me as if I'm crazy. In Turkey most people don't even follows the common rules and when I follow a "not mandatory rule" my friends say we are not in Canada don't do that otherwise people are gonna think you are naive. (I wanna live in Canada btw that is why they especially say that 😁)
I'm British I apologise for not even bumping Into ppl
Be careful, its his job to say hi to you..
Este Boi he said that because he works in a coffee shop
Exactly
What's her job?
Yes I know I had a friend a few years ago that thought literally everywhere she went boys were flirting with her. I mean shit. Would you rather them be rude??
Yes I agree I don't think he likes her. From what she was saying to him it's pretty obvious she likes him. He knows but he's not doing anything about it.
ummm can you make a video on how people should let Down people if they aren't interested... like without hurting their feelings or being rude.
C0_0KI3 Tell them face to face and be honest, thst is the best thing you can do, if they really liked you they will get hurt but it will hurt the least and will give them.direct closure.
OMG yes please
do people really think bad news can be told without dealing damage? Damn, I guess those rom-coms have brainwashed a lot of you
Thinking that you shouldn't be direct with a guy that likes you is potentially dangerous especially if you are stubborn about it. Men don't like being played coy with and can really effect their mental state as sometimes they search only for a definite answer so they get a clear understanding of something.
"Hi, i'm not into you but thank you for asking me out.
It takes you a lot of confidence to do that and women will apreciate your gesture."
With that sentence you build confidence in him instead of fear.
Never humiliates a man in public that's all.
Just got a date because of these videos. It's magic
Noel Tinker really?
is he the dude in that picture with you? Bc if it is, thats amazing!
umm some people are just nice though. If a guy is interested he'll make an effort. Guys pursue and focus on what they want. Flirt with him but don't do the job for him of pursuing. Personally, I like guys that are go getters, confident, know what they want and try to win me over. It makes me feel feminine and not like a mom where I would do the hard work to make things easy for him. Woman know your worth.
Tania Castaneda Exactly...
but smiling at him from across the room or asking him a few more questions is not such a hassle. I get what you are saying though
Preach.
+Jewel Kitty totally agree. :) my bf was really shy when I met him, I actually asked him out first. I couldn't be happier. :)
She is making an effort. He could ask her out. SIMPLE.
Don't know if this was done on purpose but the way you filmed this is genius, feels super intimate and one on one. Well done!
Be careful with judging what counts as 'go out of his way', or if a behaviour pattern counts as a sign of interest.
My groupmate is always texting me and very helpful and caring. (So as IRL) Turns out he is like that with everyone, because he is a super friendly and caring and outgoing, kind person. So at this point , no idea how to identify anything more specific.
So true😅i dont really know anymore too
OMG I wish I would have heard this years ago. I never picked up on the fact that a past boyfriend was incredibly boring until I'd wasted a year. I thought he was just shy. where were you 7 years ago 😅
girl ur text it's too long ,I can't finish, but I got the point. According to ur text you like this guy but I think you did not give him a enough time to burn with love at same level where you are now. your last text message is full of despair, and damn men hates desperate women, another think, if I man ignores your message without any clear explanation, trust me he's not someone you wanna be around, the harder you try they sicker they get about you and lose interest. two things move any man. love or hunger.
if man ignores you he either hates you or he has no idea what heck he's doing, and you agony feeds his ego, so block him every where. from the message u sound like u had sex with him, if you did the feeling you have for him is fear to lose someone who shared intimacy, but if you didn't you have nothing to lose. move on and train your brain to forget him, and take a break from anything that reminds u of him, next time you accidentally meet tell him that you can't remember him. it works don't be mean to him, just be a new version of someone he used to kwn (a better version )
love you girl this shit hurts and makes us better too
zidia millan I'm afraid you have me confused with someone else.😮 I haven't texted you 😅
Jacqueline Dailey I was replying the girl above ur comment,sorry :)
zidia millan lol no worries 😁
Jacqueline Dailey j
I also had that kind of weird feeling like you think that someone is attracted to you but sometimes our intuition is wrong. I realized that he's just being friendly to me
I realize this isn't the main point of the video, but I think it's a mistake to confuse shyness with insecurity and blandness, as if you have to be assertive to be interesting. I think humble self-confidence is the main thing, and that's just as much within the reach of a quite person as it is of a talkative one. It's a disservice to every personality type to glorify one over another. Each one has it's own unique strengths and weaknesses, and people who fail to realize this do so to their own detriment.
Spidey 101 Yes, you seem like a real charmer, but in the interest of "cutting right through the bullshit," I follow Matthew because he provides
well-intended insight into the secular dating scene. He doesn't always
say what I want to hear; that's why I was disagreeing with him. But if
you or anyone else is interested in a well-informed opinion on
introversion, I'd check out Susan Cain's work at QuietRev.com. She
wrote a ground-breaking, much-needed book, "Quiet: The Power of
Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking." You can find her TED
Talks about it here on TH-cam.
If you're wondering if he's into you, he's not into you
Preach....
NadiaKon litteraly my life 😒
literally makes no sense. why do people have this idea that all men are these 'go getter' confident guys who chase girls around? some are shy, some are afraid, some are confused. you need to be able to understand men to be able to get along with them. it's not all black and white. we all feel the same things.
ZizYoubizHERE My comment was not just about men tbh. I just think that even the most shy person ever shows sth when he's interested in. I'm kinda introvert but when I like someone i can't hide it completely... When someone is interested in you you feel it. That's my opinion at least
NadiaKon I disagree completely. Some people suppress their feelings because they don't know how to show it, they get scared, or they so shy or they send mixed signals but don't mean it. A friend of mine had liked me for 4 years and I had no idea. I was obsessed with a guy in my classes and he likes me too but he never approached me because he thought I wasn't interested. Not everyone shows it clearly so it leaves you wondering. It's not always crystal clear. Doesn't mean if you're not sure that he or she isn't into you.
Next thing you know, we'll be hearing that Matthew is dating a Canadian girl. "How'd you meet?" Matthew: "She said 'sorry' to me...for no reason at all...". (I'm Canadian and I'm NOT sorry!)
Eponine Thenardier I would like to apologize to everyone for Eponine behavior
I'm American and I say sorry for everything. I've had people step on the backs of my shoes and run into me before and I always say sorry..
Nope she’s Cuban and her name is Camila❤️
THIS IS HILARIOUS
Well its so relatable.... i mean most of the people in Delhi( India) exhibit the same obnoxious behaviour
Great video! I always have a hard time determining whether a guy is attracted/flirting with me or if he's just being nice.
I would say because he works at a coffee shop, ask him what his favorite drink is because u want to try something different and then u build up conversation from there. Most importantly, u have to realize that ppl are just trying to be 'nice' to u because they are at their place of work. While he's making u his favorite drink, u could possibly ask probing questions like, 'what do u do for fun' . It's so hard sometimes to know if a person is attracted to u especially when we women, expect men to make the first move. But hey, ask him out anyways, the least that could go wrong would be u buying coffee from elsewhere if he says no he's not interested.
what if they are the substitute mail carrier?
Hey Mathew, how do you date knowing all this stuff?
Glenda Kenneth I bet he'd forget all he knows when the right woman for him will enter his life
He does it for sport, just to see how perfect of a girl he can actually get. He finds the one..but analyzes her so much that even when she's doing something right he thinks it's wrong because his mind is gone at this point. He's so focused on following his own advice, he's forgotten how to feel. He grows old and is stuck in a nursing home, develops dementia, and losses his filter. He reverts to the man he never wanted to be..cat calling and pinching nurses butts as they walk by. He dies of pneumonia.
You don't know that.
HelloHarvardYo? Damn 😟😟😟😂
mat was once a player or maybe they man everyone came to with there issues, so he listened an made a TH-cam video of playing the game of relationships.
"maybe he's boring"......well, thanks
I'm researching how to keep your husband interested in you and discovered an awesome website at Covert Attractor Audit (look it up on google)
Ik, I usually struggle to find things to say I guess I'm boring aha I thought so
I like this format, its like Matt’s actually having an informal chat with us in his garden 😂
Usually your food servers or baristas are nice to you or downright flirting with you because there's a possibility you'll tip well. Don't read much into it.
I think she's adding too much value to him because he's good looking. He sounds like he doesn't have much personality or he has a girlfriend/not interested. When someone is into you YOU KNOW. They're always trying to chat to you/get your attention. You don't have to work this hard.
I AGREE
123videocity well im not sure about that!! I have met a guy who is always texting me for long chats, but he never gets into romantic topics. So im confused as hell. My current theory is that he is gay but pretending to be straight because he is very lonely.
CK8smallville same...
No, you didn't always know. You know often.
Mind reading doesn't exist.
@@CK8smallville don't sexualize everything.
I've tried "a few risks" as you call it, on the guy I'm attracted to. After doing that we started catching our gazes more often. Usually it was a little bit odd because we were gazing at each other in the same, exact moment and we always turn our eyes straight into eyes of second person. Then, couple months ago we bumped into each other (I haven't seen anyone next to me) while overtaking some slowly moving people. Into each other in the same time. Also, a second later, both of us said "pardon" in the same time xD But I haven't even realized it was him til, a moment later, I turned my head into his direction (I noticed this person doesn't overtaking anyone anymore). I saw he's looking at me and walking by my side with smile on his face. That was so funny :D Now we sometimes go shopping to the same market and welcome each other. Also jogging together on bus station, lol.
Damn. I'm happy for you♥️😁
MAYBE THE GUYS GOT A GIRLFRIEND
Ellie Donald I was thinking the same thing!!
Provocateur no just no, even shy guys with some encouragement will ask u out.
viv 123 Who says girls can't ask out guys. So yes just yes.
EXACTLY THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING BEFORE I THOUGHT ABOUT JUST BEING COOL ASF AND STARTING OFF AS FRIENDS
He gay
the moment you're single again and not sure about jumping back into the madness, matthew you are a savior!
This guy works in customer service. He gets paid to smile and be nice to every customer, regardless of the sex...You are probably making him feel very uncomfortable every single day. The moment he sees you enter the coffee shop, he says to himself: "oh, no, here she goes again, that crazy lady". The fact that he is "boring" or "shy", or..."doesn't make the move" just proves the point that he is doing his job.
Lol harsh but probably true unfortunately
why do those dating tips exist everywhere? sometimes it does seem creepy. maybe it's how you do it. like using cheezy pickup lines on someone who works in a super market. "thank you for shopping with us, did you find everything you wanted?" or "are you looking for something, i can help you" "oh I'm looking for that special someone, I don't know if you can help me with that. can you? that would be great"
Thank you! I have been watching a lot of these 'reading Sydney's videos lately. This has been the only one I've seen that seems like it might really be helpful. "Reading patterns" and testing. Of course. It might be the only way I can get to the bottom of figuring out how this person feels about me. I've been flailing. Sometimes I don't know if he's just doing his job or there is a potential for a meaningful friendship or if maybe his feelings go beyond that sometimes. I don't want to accidentally say something innappropriate and make him uncomfortable because he is soft spoken and sometimes it seems he can't help but to wear his emotions on his sleeve for whatever is going on in his life that week. I recognize that because I am the same way. Thank you for giving me a tool to work with and one I can be careful with because at other times I have trouble reading him. I have not had feelings for someone in quite a while and wasn't looking to. That's when situations seem to show up and because of the nature of his job, I want to do what's best for him, but in him I find a kindred soul. I believe you meet people for a reason, so I would love to at least call him a long time friend someday. People come and people go and often circumstances control that and often it's a real bummer when you have to let someone go, never to know what happened to them. I am hoping this is not one of those situations. Thanks again. I don't feel helpless and clueless now.
I agree with Matthew. Since he already knows you and you've spoken to each other. Take things slow and push a little bit. If the guy is truly interested he will ask you out. Just like Matthew said if he has not asked you out by the second attempt then sorry to say he really is not interested.
VeganVintageGeek what if he is shy?
To girls who read this comment. If you really like the guy and it's really important to you, then just ask him directly, if he'd like to have a date with you, get to know each other, see where things might lead. Many guys are very dense and will never get your "signals", many guys might just think that you are being friendly with him. Other guys will be quite shy, some might be so shy that they'll want to run away because they start panicking, or simply freeze and their mind sets out. If you really like him, then make sure if that's the case or not. If he says no, then it's a no. Be civil, as you'd expect it from a guy whom you reject. If he's so shy that he can't handle the situation, try again later (only if you think he's worth it and you have genuine feelings for him), otherwise wait for him to deal with his anxiety, as a relationship at this point wouldn't be something he can handle.
Funny coz I clicked this video to know if a guy named Clark likes me. HA!
Jomie Hospital 😂😂
Hoyyyyyy Jomie!
Funny also because he don’t 😥
Jomieeee
@@ralphjakob7362 how did you do it please help?
You made really good points, but I think we keep forgetting the fact that "NOT EVERYONE FALLS UNDER THESE GENERALIZATIONS" for example, this guy who is shy. He could just seem shy because he's not as social as you seem to require. Not everyone can be bold or confident enough to approach a woman and strike up a conversation.
You being a female doesn't remove the fact that you're also human. Men aren't always the ones to make the first move. Just as there are really confident and strong women out there, there's also very conservative/shy men as well. If he's too shy to start a convo, there's nothing wrong with you taking it on yourself to talk to him. Let him go with the flow. Even if he seems shy at first, that's normal, he would get used to you guys talking, which would get him to open up a bit more each time, which in turn removes the shyness. As women, especially the ones who have their SH*t together (or at least appear to) we are very intimidating as is, imagine the intimidation for someone who's shy.
So stop the "oh I'm a female, I shouldn't be the one making the first move or pursuing a guy"
Be Flirty, Be Feminine, but be confident in yourself and what you want, then go get it.
Perfect example, Matthew mentioned a female in the gym who initiated contact. She was cute, flirtatious, but also very obvious that she was into Mathew ( with all his sexiness lol) Small efforts like saying hi first can be the simplest way to break the ice.
Well put. Think if a woman is a feminine type but initiates the contact and the guy gets the hint that's great but if this is always the case going forward then she could loose interest quickly. Two cents.
yea I’m extremely feminine so I don’t like making the fist move and like to wait for them to come to me, I notice the ones who are more confident in themselves or seem more happy while the guys who seem more quiet and reserved rarely ever make the first move with me . Could be that some really don’t have no interest in me but I feel like those types are too shy to ever say anything too and I understand that
seem more happy do make the first move/ put in effort *
I get your point but I don’t like being the one doing the first move. From my experience- it always ends up with an unreciprocated relationship & broken hearts. I rather wait for a man to approach me from now-on
To add on to his last point, a guy could be really shy, not interested, or be in a relationship but still attracted but doesn't want to give you the wrong idea which is literally my life. I would love to know how to hint back, "hey I like you too but I'm not single but maybe if one day if we both are then let's give it a shot."
I never realised how much humour is in your videos. Love it!
Oh...and good advice, too!
This is my second video watching this guy. I was very cynical at first. He was very shallow and almost sleezy like he was trying to sell a car or something But this video makes me think he really does care about the advice he's giving. good show, Matthew.
I love how this was set up - just on the fly with all the crazy background noise.
I recently summoned my inner Matthew Hussey, I've been in the complicated things with this guy, it's been going for almost a year. Well he recently told me he can old offer me friendship at this time but in the future if I'm willing he'd loved to explore things. I responded by said saying "I'm okay with being friends, it's better Ann nothing and in the future depending on where I'm at in life I'd love to explore things if I'm not in a relationship of course" I showed him I'm not gonna sit and wait on him but yet if I'm single and he's single and the timing is right then yeah maybe we could explore things. Just watching You're Videos Matthew and reading How To Get The Guy, has helped in the Guy department so much! So thank you💗
This is so relevant to me right now its actually ridiculous :) thanks always Matt!
Thanks Matt! I love your humour. You make this stuff easy 😄
I have 2 questions. 1. How far will a guy go to get your attention? 2. Have you had anyone ask you about if it is even worth it to open yourself up to the possibility that a guy is interested after multiple disappointments and the feeling that a romantic relationship is pointless?
Hey Matt, first of all just wanna say I love your work. You have a great team with you.
I don't know if you're gonna read this but it's worth the shot.
Can guys really wait for you??
I met this guy November last year while I was in the USA for an exchange program. We met a month before my flight back home. He showed himself totally different from all the guys I have met during my two years in the USA and I will go even farther and say in my whole life ( but I'm young (23) so it's hard to compare to the teenage years). He is older, just turned 34, and since day one he was caring and lovely, wasn't afraid to show any kind of affection, always hugging me and telling how beautiful he thinks I am and always making plans for the future when I go back to the USA ( this July hopefully), never afraid of being public about it in person. That we would travel, that my welcome back party would be at his new house that he was just finishing the kitchen and blablabla. I came back to Brazil in December and since then we've been talking almost every day, he is still the same sweet guy I met, already talked about the possibility of we having something more serious when I comeback and said that he can wait 5 months cause I'm worth waiting. I know it's probably me being very insecure because I've been played many times already, one specific that broke me very bad and was very similar to this scenario. I know I was younger and also the guy I was dating at the time was much younger than he is but I still can't help the feeling I might be playing the fool once more.
Any exercise I can make to help push the insecurity away? Or am I really being a fool on believing he can wait for me all this time? He is great but doesn't show much in public on Facebook and it's silly but I'd feel much more comfortable I think if he was more open about us there. He is private about everything on Facebook so I have full consciousness that it's a silly thing to care about so please HELP!! Hahaha
Thank you so much for everything ❤
Best of luck with all your work.
"deathly shy" that's hurt 😂
This is great advice, but my favorite parts of the video are the bits where Matthew's talking about the neighbors and the fact that you know Jamison (Jameson?) didn't edit them out on purpose
sigh... its always the coffee shop guy
Sydney Dively For real 😂
It used to be the butcher
Well, now I know. People, including me adore the loud noises that make us - in the video - painfully shy. It is endearing. In my Brabant Connection video on Patreon, a floor waxing machine went by only 6 ft from me. Even though no one ever donated to my Art, everyone that saw the video and met me, loved my concern, laughter and shyness.
Do more like this
Whirling Dervish24,you are so beautiful 💓💓❤🌹and I will be glad to know you
thank you Matthew for all you do. even though I'm married I enjoy and discover fascinating things that women must know through your videos . interestingly, your videos help me to spruce up my marriage, imagine that. you are the adviser each woman must have. my question is it a way to get all your publications programs in 1 place ? I see you have different links for different programs to buy but is it 1 link for all of them? thanks man
Had a crush on matt for more than 10 years, brough his book when I was 22. And I still going back to his video.
Hey Matthew, so I am a socially awkward lacking confidence, plus sized 37yr old single woman. I was recently a wedding, where whilst having a blast with my friends, the photographer who I had seen moving around the guests smoothly all night, suddenly appeared at my side, and gave me his camera! ...along with the words “I think you should do my job, I think you’d be great”. Now, as someone who is never approached by guys, at first, I was rather bewildered, but I pressed on, and took advantage of my new “occupation”.
I eventually took the camera back to him, as it had seemed like he’d completely left me with it and at one point, had looked about for him, but he had seemingly vanished. After some time later, I had the opportunity to really take a look at him, and we’ll, he was cute. But, even though he was hanging around a little to talk at the end of the night we still didn’t get to exchange numbers, as I truly only realised (after explaining the interaction, and asking my friend) that he as quite possibly flirting with me when I was in the car in the way back to my hotel.
The interaction has played on my mind for a few days now (since the wedding); as its such a rare thing for me, and always left wondering what may have happened.
Thanks for listening.
With Matts help I can now tell if a guy is into me or not. I used to be clueless and in denial, but now I can read body language it's a blessing. I was talking to a guy casually recently and his full body was turned away and he was looking around the room. I'm just THAT captivating ;) Luckily I wasn't attracted to him, but that was my warning sign to move on and it's a great thing to be able to notice when you are talking to men you ARE attracted to :) When I can see a guy im attracted to is using positive body language towards me, that's when I suggest exchanging numbers. Hasn't failed so far! That's what this girl needs to do: strike a conversation, read the cues and respond accordingly.
pinkunicornglitter
I'm still dumb at reading signs.
You always have great advice. I ❤ it!
I like this video. I actually like the fact, there's a woman out there, who NOT afraid of initiating contact... Well done...
This is freaking science, that's why I'm not bothering this relationships...
Haha I loved the background noises. As always, thank you for your solid advice. You're the best!
wouldn't it be much easier to just go up and ask him out directly? i would. saves time.
yumchou the point of seduction is making the other person wonder if u like them or not, it's exciting, it's all about the mind games. It applies with everything, in general, not just relationships.
Maggie Mejorado, sure, i see your point! but it sounded like the woman asking was not about the mind game thing, otherwise she wouldn't wonder if he really liked her or just flirted/was nice, you know? she would just enjoy those little moments where he shies away and not try to read into it too much. that's how it seemed to me, maybe i misunderstood. i agree with you that seduction is a very exciting thing though, absolutely
You have this charming way of acting aswell as the fact your advice is really sound, which makes your videos really enjoyable to watch. Xx
Girls, just make it obvious that you're trying to flirt.
Toby Bradley what if that pushes him away though, do you guys back off when a girl is trying to flirt with you, i.e. making eye contact, smiling, etc. What would you do if you like her too?
If it pushes him away, chances are it wasn't meant to be. You're better off taking the risk. Or you'll potentially lose the opportunity all together.
Personally, I like it when a girl is forward when it comes to flirting. It's more of a turn on, than a turn off.
Toby Bradley
Boy if that is hard.
Jewel Kitty Well exactly. If you explicitly say I'm flirting - not flirting. Problem solved!
Be clear about your intentions. If a guy takes it as flirting, and say you're not. Tell him 'Sorry, just being friendly'.
If you decide to start giving guys the cold shoulder. Then that's your choice, but chances are you're watching this video to find someone. So that would not work in your favour.
Toby Bradley no way then we look desperate!! Never!!
Once I tried to flirt with a guy who did philosophy, so to impress him I responded with 'what are you, Kant?' question. 'Hi Clark' is not the worst idea you can have.
I appreciate how frank your words are. Thanks for this video!
I liked that I could hear the background! Feels more authentic, like you're just our friend
Gosh, why is Matt good-looking...? -_-
Lydia Boyenger he's sooo handsome, the day he gets married will be a hard day for us all 😭
To make up for his unfortunate last name. :D
This is legit giving me a lot of information than just the books i read 🥺
I was in a problem like that before i meet someone in Africa who helped me out, if you need help..
Wjatzapp him
+ 2 3 4 9 0 2 2 6 7 9 2 7 8.
💯💯
You read us (girls and boys) like a book, Matthew! :))
1M subscribers? Matt you're on fire
I'm telling you, girlfriend. He's not that into you, that cafe guy.
He's eager to say hi to you?? Ha, he should be running his business to make a living and you're one of his customers. 'Nough said.
I always think the guys I like was too shy to show his feelings to me, as he is an introvert. But now I have met and talk to people, guys who are introvert, is interested. They can be subtle but they will step up to show you that they would like to meet you again, etc :D so yes, if they are into you in someway, you will feel it without needing to find it :)
Just sharing here so ladies can save some time from waiting for a sign from a "shy" guy...that 90% is not interested enough to ever let us know in the first place ☺
*this is also a message to myself in the future when I check this video again* 🤣
Just sharing
I always get the guy who likes to wave and smile. It sucks! The ultra friendly complicated guy. 🙁
He is like me in a convo.
I point out things around the house and go off topic for a sec. lol. Love it. ADD for the win!
I'm the type of girl who has no clue a guy likes me till they are literally climbing on top of me or trying to Kiss me..then Im like wait, what?? you like me??..lol
OMG i think this might be the best series y'all have ever done
In a coffee shop, it's just good customer service it's there job to do it, when you see that person out of the workplace totally different they blank you or mooded looking. 😂
I was at gym yesterday and tried grabbing my keys from personal locker area but there was a guy in front of me. And I apologized for being in his space as he was trying to finish put on his shoes. Normally I'm super shy and just look down but he looked straight into my eyes and smiled. And as he smiled he was sort of taking his time and gave a cheesier grin. And I realized God he is beautiful. And he said You're fine. I smiled and just enjoyed the moment. I hope we run into each other again just so I can see him smile. lol
Then when you've tried a few things and his pattern of behaviour is total non-responsiveness, so you call it a day and stop giving him attention, and THIS is when he starts making an effort to talk to you...Good Times With Mind Games! ;)
I can listen to this guy all day long, seriously.
He is also at work. That makes it more complicated
Been watching these videos to "educate" myself about relationships etc., but im afraid its more leading to develope a platonic love to Matthew -_- I mean.. the sparkles in his eyes?! Oh boy.. :D ♡
as a man girls i agree with Matthew 100% , personaly i call it green light when someone gives you the green light by talking to you a bit more or telling you a copliment he likes you ..now if a girl gives a green light to a guy and he doesnt respond the way you want and tells you a short answer he probably dont like you or he is in a relation .. throw him the ball and let him play the game thats the way to go if he likes you and he is free 100% he ll talk to you and find the way..but carefull DONT make it to easy because guys dont like it and ends up to an MPI...cheers!
ps like Matthew said build it step by step 1 brick at the time dont rush on it..
Christian C - as a woman I agree with you. Men don't like to be rushed. If he doesn't pick up and act on your signals he's 1) not interested 2) in a relationship and/or 3) gay.
exactly ;) its in the nature for the male to hunt even if he thinks he is hunting...if you know what i mean..
Christian C
what's MPI stand for?😆
haha didnt you saw Matthews MPI video? its 2-3 videos before this one check it out! MPI - Minimum Possible Investment
I paused this video twice because I thought I heard a girl shrieking from the house behind mine, then he broke script and addressed it... glad it wasn't my imagination
Tara Schotter, you're absolutely gorgeous 💓💓❤❤❤🌹and I will be glad to know you
I also went with a similar joke about superman followed by a really long awkward silence 😑
Lol. The pattern of the guy I'm wondering about changes though. He tries to touch me and talk to me more than necessary, but then the next time he sees me, he goes out of his way to imply he doesn't know me. One time he legit said "I don't know her" straight to my face while he was talking to my friend who forced him to greet me since he had been ignoring me all night. He flat out asked me for my name for the first 5 times we ran into each other. Not sure if it's his way of telling me he wants to know more about me or if it's his way of telling me he doesn't care enough to even take note of my freakin' name. He's incredibly hard to read.
In the moment, when we touch or share eye contact, my gut tells me he's into me, I'm a cancer and our intuition is next level. But then again, when I haven't see him in a while I start over-thinking small things that we shared and making them out to be signals or signs of his interest in me. And because of my pride, I end up convincing myself that my friends and me are telling me what I want to hear and not what's actually the truth.
These games are incredibly tedious. 😒
Freezing question: how do you make the différence between a guy who is not interested and a guy who is freezing be cause he is interested?
Knowing it would help me lot. I found myself In 2 situations with the freezing guys:
- either I am not interested and I am overfriendly which leads to déclaration I haven't coming by send the wrong message
-either I like the Guy, I am freezing as well and nothing is happening but awkard moments
The scénario could be that is not intereseted, I keep showing signs of interests thinking he is freezing and I make A fool of myself. Help:)
Honestly, I was one of those guys so that's a tough one. I just didn't know how to respond to girls coming on to me and didn't even think about it. However, that doesn't mean that I wouldn't have dated one or wouldn't have been interested in one. Your comment was 5 years ago so this is probably pointless to you but maybe helpful to someone else. I would be more bold with a guy like that. Because sometimes their self esteem is so low (probably due to their upbringing/past trauma) that they are basically as shy as a shy girl. You will literally have act like a man in that situation. That's for men who literally have no idea what to do. However, I did know how to talk to women. I wasn't shy there. I just didn't know how to respond to come ons. I was also brought up conservative so I didn't even think about if I wanted anything to do with a girl. It is hard to give advice on this. I would find out if the guy is religious or brought up strict. I was also a demisexual (whatever the man version of it would be) so you'd have to first be my friend and then things would have to evolve naturally. It's nearly impossible for a man to navigate with these circumstances because women just assume you're not interested and honestly a guy like me wouldn't even know or think about it. Women can get away being this way because men are the ones who make the moves. Women just have to sit there and think about how to respond.
That reminds me of everytime I try to go outside to talk, listen to music or just enjoy outside. Someone is always mowing grass, it gets too hot or something.
Patti Lacey, you look stunning dear ❤
1:24 in, I was dying , I needed to laugh so bad today! Thank you, I have tears!
Same girl 😂😂😂
I laughed so hard at the 'You gonna ask me, What did you do? You don't get to know THAT... this is about Marissa!!!' 😂 💖
Also the reason could be because he's not attracted to women...i'm having a difficult time with this, as much as you can try to read a man's sexuality...there is no point in putting all my charm and efforts in flirting if i couldn't read him (not been available to women)... and believe me some men you wouldn't know unless they tell you...so please can we have a video about this?...
I love gay men, they make brilliant friends but i as a straight woman i'm scared to "put my foot on it" when approaching men... lets be real no all men are available to women so can we please discuss this possibility and how to handle it?....
Maybe he just feels sexually harassed and is sick of people commenting on his looks, but needs to be polite to customers because that's his job.
you might have nailed it
I learned a lot from you Matthew😇
Anyone else just find his voice calming ?
Sara, you're so beautiful 💓💓❤
Hmm why set her up? The coffee shop guy is clearly not into her... it's his job to greet clients. She's been doing all the prodding ... and now she's reaching out to a dating "expert" ! Oh please ... wake up and smell the coffee!!
Hi Matt, I would really like some advice please. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year, I'm 27, he's 35. This is my first relationship. I know deep down in my heart he is the one.
For the last six months or so he has had noticeable, diagnosed depression, and I don't know how long he was suffering before he admitted he had it. It's been tough, during his depressive episodes he's convinced he's hurting everyone around him, me included. He rarely takes his meds as he thinks he can fix this on his own. He doesn't understand why I'm still with him. Time after time I have to convince him that I still want to be with him. It all came to a head a few days ago, when he said he couldn't continue hurting me (I get upset easily and worry too much about his welfare) so he was basically saying he couldn't see how we could be together any more. I didn't want to leave him, I don't know if it's selfish but the pain of losing him was too great, and I also think deep down we still have a future together. So in the end he couldn't tell me it was over, and he left it up to me to either cut and run or stay. I said I still wanted to stay in a relationship. He's constantly afraid of upsetting me, even the slightest thing has him apologising and saying he can't cope. I've offered to back off for a while, to see if me not being there helps him recover slightly, but he never agrees to that when I suggest it. I'm a little inexperienced when it comes to love, but I'm a firm believer that if you love someone, you stay by them through thick and thin. Some days he's jokey and seems fine, but others it's as if the worlds' ending. I suppose what I'm asking is how to you care for someone in that state of mind, how do you be there for them when you know it's the depression talking? Any help/advice is greatly appreciated, even if it's blunt honest truth.
rocksteacats
I am wondering how it went with you and him.Maybe you could tell us?
#prayforaleppo
I wouldnt have even noticed the kids or basketball if you hadnt said so, Im just mesmerized by what you are saying and thinking how it relates to my life.
he looks like derek shepard😍😍
bsbs bsbsb and u look like.... well, u know
He looks like a "polite" english dating scam artist that wants to be surrounded by women that ignore their gut feeling.
Mc Dreamy😁
Sorry to do this, but the best public speaker is who can use the distraction in his advantage, or ignore it without getting the audience attention towards that. I had not realized the kids until you mentioned.
Really i love this new style of your videos ❤️❤️ this one is gold thank you matt
Thank you for showing the bloopers. I love that you soldiered on. Way to be vulnerable and cute. 😉