My ex I fear is a covert narcissist. I know she was insecure but most of the time she hid it well and it only came out if she misinterpreted a comment or suggestion as a criticism. I once complimented a dress she wore and told her she reminded me of a tv presenter who I found very attractive but she didn't, and therefore thought I was having a dig with her. Try navigating out of that one. I never saw her angry but I often suspected she had a pokerface to disguise it. She would give an expression that was somewhere between an angry face and a smiling face but looked like smirking and laughing in disbelief.
I've been married to this 4 year old for 52 years. He has never taken responsibility for anything. I have bothered him, coddled him, been the parent while he has been off playing jack the lad.I have always walked in love and forgiveness because I thought that was the Christian thing to do. WRONG. There are no consequences in that, no behavior change. What I should have done was shook the sand off my shoes and gone where my message of love was received. I tried to find wise council but no one understood what was going on, I had no family or support. Thankyou Kris for you and others who make the truth available. God bless you xx❤😊
52 years are you in a good place I am in California I am so frightened of what my son & his crazy ex-gf might be up to they both have hurt 💔 me & each other 😭 I have never hurt them , I have become their maid.
34 years. I call myself a secondary mommy.. I read a Gary Smally book 30 years ago.. If you dote on him love him he will change. Good Ole Gary never dealt with Narcs.
I don’t know what you mean by ‘hurt u’? You can get a restraining order. Evict them. Don’t enable them, don’t let them do this. Boundaries need to be put in place. If you are afraid things might escalate, police can back you up & protect you. Sometimes setting boundaries seems cruel but it will hopefully help them become independent. They will thank you later or if narcs, just go on with the same behavior. The use of your energy & resources can be put to better use.
I’m still married after 27 years to a man who is a covert narcissist. He is like a roommate instead of a loving husband. There has been no intimacy for years. When there was it was so superficial. He says one thing and does another frequently. He has viewed gay pornography online. He won’t admit his sexuality to me. We have 4 children. Three are triplets who just turned 18. I recently found Christ and it changed my life but sadly my husband and I do not share the same values. Thanks for your prayers, Kris. I surrender everything to the Almighty and let Him deal with my spouse in his time and according to His perfect will.
You are STRONG, and I appreciate your example, as I do all of those that I learn about "in The Comments." I have been married for 31 years and have felt, as you say, "like I am living with a roommate," for much of that time. It is just so great to find validation, upon hearing that others out there have (or are) also experienced (-ing) what I have been living (suffering) in my marriage. I also feel bad for everyone living this, and also for what the Narcissists are suffering ... I KNOW the way that they experience life is also awful for them. 😢 God help us all!
Thank you for the prayer! I’m a covert narcissist. After destroying two great women and relationships I finally accepted what I am. Trying my best to change! Hopefully it’s possible through God
Praise God that you were willing to open your eyes and heart. I think we all have traits of narcissistic behavior in us because that is a sin nature!! But some of us are definitely unaware and do not know how to look at ourselves from others perspectives or from Gods perspective. I pray that your journey to heal from within will render you blessings and growth. The first step is humility with God and always taking self inventory. Don’t ever stop doing that and you will continue to heal and grow. Admitting it is the first step!
At the 15 mins mark had me in tears. Been with him for 9 years married 6. Had to leave last year, it became unbearable. I almost had a nervous breakdown. I couldn’t let him break me. For anyone experiencing this, I pray God releases you. This is a terrible thing to be a survivor of. My heart and mind are still healing. I have to coparent with him, so I still get yelled at from time to time but guess what, I have peace in my home with my children and I and I am no longer under his dark miserable cloud!
Praise God for deliverance! You and your children deserve Peace, Love and Happiness! I am praying for deliverance as well. It's very hard to get away due the unaffordability of housing but I am praying for a way out soon. Continued Blessings🙏
Chris, Dr.Henry Cloud, Dr. Les Carter...all Christians helping us navigate this very bewildering behaviour pattern and it's effects on our lives. Even better though is the guidance of how to learn and grow ourselves to new life!
For me, the covert narcissist comes across as a people pleaser. They like to be in the spotlight to get the validation that they crave for, as other narcissists but at the same time, they pretend to be humble, simple, generous, over giving. The covert narcissist will take time to build a relationship/friendship with you. During this period, they will show their admiration and their devotion by helping you with everything that is you need. They will try to convince you that you are soulmates and that they understand you deeply. At the same time, you will see them being overly altruistic, maybe helping society by engaging in charities, activism. They feed the poor, take care of the homeless. All this makes you think how lucky you are for having met such a beautiful soul. You want to be by their side for ever. However, soon you notice how much they enjoy being invited in galas to talk about their achievements. But they don’t admit that. They still play the humble guy who doesn’t want all this. Who is beyond money, beyond fame and recognition, who wants to share the floor with other people. But their acts don’t match their words. You come to realise that this selfless soul is actually doing whatever it takes to be in the centre of attention. When you do something together be it at work or at home, they want to control everything about it. They just exerce their control in a more polite and implicit way, making you believe that your voice was heard whereas in reality you did what they wanted you to do. Covert narcissists have a smooth way of leading you on. They don’t shout, they don’t give orders. They are master actors. They convince you that you are together in this. What makes them a narcissist is that when the time comes for them to use you in order to draw certain benefits, they will do it without a second thought and you are not going to believe in your eyes. And when you stand up for yourself and raise your voice against them calling them for their phony identity, then you will see their rage for the first time and the mask will fall. Covert narcissists manipulate less with rage/exhibiting superiority and more with people pleasing behaviour/playing the eternal victim. They are not aggressive as overt narcissists. They are more cunning. What they both have in common is self-centered ness and lack of empathy. In the case of coverts, it will take you longer to find out.They knew what they wanted to get out of you from the beginning. They created a whole theatre play to fool you about who they are and their true motives. You will trust them with all your heart but when the time comes for them to prove their loyalty by choosing your bond over their personal gain, they will choose the latter with no remorse, without even taking any responsibility. Unlike the overt narcissist, they will have an eloquent excuse for doing so, rationalizing why they had to f@ck you over. They will pretend to be sorry about it because this is something that matches the image of modesty that they want to project but in reality they are not sorry at all. You will see them partying with your own money when they said they didn’t have enough to pay you back. You will see them being unfair and untrustworthy to other people as well. When the mask of the victim will fall, you will see the cruel smile of a perpetrator who managed to get what they want without deserving it. If you decide to unmask them run for your life. Additionally, Catching a cheating narcissist can be difficult, and understanding local laws regarding what you can and cannot do may be even more challenging. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to handle the investigation for you. I genuinely appreciate your incredible work! Thank you for a job well done, Metaspyhub@gmail. com.
Weird how codependency is the same .. seeking validation etc.. All the gaslighting over the years still makes Me think I'm the narcissistic person but I have genuine empathy for people. I had a run in with a Cristian npd..they think there the god and think everyone is worshipping them..
Living with them is like living with a roommate. Everything in their life is always a negotiation situation. They purposely will be silent, give you limited information ( so you haf to ask further on a subject ) talk about controlling. So with that said - live your life as if you don’t see them, hear them , acknowledge them in any way. I mirror them back to the max. Be unpredictable & spontaneous often. Stop doing things for them. Set your boundaries & follow through with them. Believe me - they will notice & in the meantime - you’re doing what brings you happiness & peace . The #1 thing they are afraid of - is you leaving them & possibly telling all those around them the reason why
Absolutely, they definitely do not want exposure to their true identity. My Mother has always known that I know her truth, which is why I believe she had targeted me for six decades.
Kris, I have been so thankful for your insight and guidance. We just completed our divorce last week, and I ended up getting the "short end of the stick." So now my struggle is learning how to put my full and complete trust in God that I will survive financially because of this. I pray for him because we are called by God to do so, and I'm trying so hard to release what I see as so unjust and know that God will make it all work out at some point. All that I have learned about a narcissist has been so helpful to know what to expect, but he goes even further than I can even comprehend. Some may not believe in bad spirits in these people, but I do without a doubt.
The narcissist in my life wants to be seen as super-spiritual by the world. She hasn’t committed any of the “Big” sins, that would prove to people that she’s living a double life. But her gaslighting, manipulation, control, arrogance, disrespect, and the list goes on…. these are the so-called “sins” that can’t be proven to anyone. She acts one way with me, and another way to the rest of the world. It is so hard because everyone I know constantly praises her for being so wonderful. She is seen as the "model Christian" by Christians in public, while causing me harm in private.
I must say I saw myself in your words about ‘she’ ….not sure I was a narc but I was in that track but the Lord made me repent, since 1999 I’m a different person but I was also married to a narc for 34 years, he never changed…I actually think his narcissistic personality made me see myself and all my wrongs thank God He had mercy on me! Praise Jesus!
I used to tell myself for years, that's what he was, all the while not knowing his was a narcissism problem. I only have 'seen it' since I left 6 years ago. Now, it's a family problem for my daughter's, who saw it better than I, for years. Also my son, who left when he married @ 27. He had real insight into our 'toxic family', as he took the brunt of my ex's toxic jealousy!!! Sad!!!
@DianeRobinson-l7o I have been in it blinded for 42 years. I had a Damascus Rd. experience about 3 months ago.. But didn't know what to do with it.. Then The Holy Spirit dropped Kris Reace right in my you tube feed!!! Thank you Jesus ♥️ I'm getting me together finally 🙌 🙏🏼 Going to a great Christian counselor and with God I am getting FREEDOM going into 2025!!! Hallelujah ♥️ Glory to God ♥️
?Thank you for opening my eyes to the situation married to a narcissistic husband for almost 20 years. I have been a Christian since 1998 and it took me years to see that the blame I was placing on myself for a failing marriage, but once I realized his narcissist behaviorisms and I refuse to allow myself to be pulled into his demonic drama anymore. Thank you for being a christian teacher and you are a God send to people in this scenerio. You have helped me tremendously.?
Kris, there are no words for how grateful I am for you and your platform of communicating TRUTH, LIGHT and ENCOURAGEMENT on the topic of narcissism....under Biblical leadership and wisdom. Your videos have helped me more than you will ever know as I am just days away from mediation towards divorce. Keep doing what you're doing. You're impacting countless lives (and hearts). Thank you.
I'm married to a pastor 47yrs and in ministry 43yrs. Your descriptions is on mark. He's moving out blaming me Got caught in adultery but denying and still preaching
I really needed to hear this because I came from a covert, narcissistic family. Both of my parents were covert narcissist and we are in church every Sunday and I remember always sensing evil especially in the church so I do believe the demons love to go there and hide and masquerade as an angel of light like it says in the Bible, we need to be discerning and test the spirits. We cannot trust anybody just cause they say there are something by our actions by our fruit. He says we are judged, God knows we cannot deceive God, or ourselves! I believe I read that the and the people higher up in the church have the highest rates of narcissism of any other profession!!! I go by how I feel around somebody has an empath if I feel good and I gain energy and I never wanna leave that person‘s presence that is a sign of being a Christian and a follower of Christ!😊😊😊😊 i’m so glad somebody else is talking about this because every time I brought it up, everybody tried to shut me up and say, but they’re Christians and I said I don’t care. I don’t think they are Christians. I think they have a demon in them this was me as a little kid.😅
Planting seeds of distrust in the minds of others... It took me over 40 years to finally get the proof that he was doing this to me. And when my (not his) children were still young, he did it to them too. Other parents would not allow their children to associate with mine. Then he would feign having no knowledge about why. All the while, he was speaking disparagingly about us behind our backs. I left him for the 4th time 19 months ago. I will NEVER go back again.
Can relate to the many times I left, but came back, o we the years! Finally, at the 40 year mark. Prior, I felt I had nowhere to go. I often told God, where can I go. Rarely, did I find a solution. Until finally, it was back to live with & care for my mother on the other side of the country. It's 6 years on now, & I'm still watching over Mum @ the Village. Waiting for her to move on "from this earthly coil" and wondering, God what will I do, next?!? I'm 69. 😢😮
I was married to one of these men for 17 years- divorced him only to have him go to my pastor and manipulated his way back to everyone I knew to convince me that he had changed into a wonderful Christian man so I married him again. On our honeymoon I discovered I had made a big mistake - again!! I made a decision to stay and pulled myself away from his control for over 20 years until I finally decided to leave. It was hard. I walked away from everything! He passed away in 2020 - I was so relieved to be free of his pain forever.
Yes, Kris, this describes very much what I was living with. Manipulate, gas light, projection, silent treatment, wasn't really a connect, yes felt awkward, secreative, couldn't get a straight answer, felt like insanity. 🥴😵💫🤯 Thanx for helping me identify these NARC😶 characteristics🙂
This is happening right now in our Church ministry. In March "she" furiously backed out. Four weeks ago, because I am moving, she wormed her way back, halving circulated lies about me, and securing for herself my position. Though she is not YET in place she has torn apart the peace and unity that so beautifully existed; texts, phone calls, private rendez vous.... Because she knows I am very soon out of the picture she has set her evil darts on one of the most beautiful members. The poor targeted woman called me saying she was going to resign. She is so key to the continuation of the ministry. The ministry is now almost destroyed, even though narc is not yet part of it. She has deceived the young Pastor so skillfully he has no idea what's happening. He does not want to take time to hear anyone else. He believes her cunning. All will leave. She will prove to be a failure. No one else will be left to blame. She will have to face her own self. She may even turn to God. If not, to despair. I have been praying for God to give her vision and light for several years. The other dear woman has been doing the same. We are praying for a powerful movement of the Holy Spirit. God loves her and died for her as He did for me. Along with Jesus I pray that none that the Father has given Him may be lost. Please pray with us. Thank you all who read this and intercede.
One of the main things I can say after 24 years of being with this man be true to who you are and don’t ever let your guard down and don’t ever tell him anything he can use against you in a quart of Law
I discovered your videos a few weeks ago when I was trying to find self help videos to help me in my marriage. After a 15 year relationship I had finally had enough and decided that a separation HAD to happen if there was goign to be hope for our marriage. For 15 years our relationship has gradually become worse and worse. No matter how hard I try. However, your videos have changed EVERYTHING! during fights and arguments i've always accused my wife of being narcissistic and lacking empathy because it seemed like she could never see things from my point of view. EVERYTHING was my fault. EVERY fight was because of me. And I fed into it and would yell and fight back. Since stumbling upon your videos my life has COMPLETELY changed. I no longer blame myself. I no longer stand my ground by fighting and arguing back with her. I started listening to your recommendations and guidance and it has changed everything. I feel like we have started moving the communication and relationship back onto the right track for good or bad. I don't want a divorce so i've only requested (1) thing from her if she wants this marriage to last; all i ask is she speak kindly and respectfully to me in all situations. She has her moments but it NEVER lasts. If i've learned anything from all of these videos....... it is highly unlikely that she will change, no matter how badly she tells me that divorce is not an option. She only wants me to change. Okay, enough of my babbling...... thank you for the videos. I FEEL SOOO SOOO SOO much better after watching your videos. THANK YOU!!!
Addionally, my wife is one of the most intelligent people i've ever met. She is highly successful, type A, perfectionist who almost everyone thinks is such a wonderful and sweet person, so I have no chance. I was considered the nice, good looking, easy going guy. Years ago something changed. The smear campaign began and I don't even feel comfortable going to her family or work events. Her family has completely turned on me. Her parents (whom I do everything for) completely lost respect for me. My parents have been worried sick about me for years saying i'm not the same person.
You've mentioned a few things that stood out for me. 1, that other ppl see her as so nice, yet she's mean to you behind closed doors. 2, the smear campaign. 3, it sounds like you're describing deflection in the first part (although you didn't say specifics). I cant diagnose, of course, but it wd be enough for me to leave. When I came to the realization about my ex-narc, I had no money, job or car, and to leave (with my 2 littles) I'd have nowhere to go. I prayed and prayed, packed as I prayed, and he showed up with a truck and friends to help us move. He took me to my mom's house, and she kicked out a boarder to give me my old room back. Now safe, I could start tutoring again. He signed a loan for me to get a car. God answered for each concern within 2 months 🙌🏽 🙌🏽 Even made the enemy help 🤭 Only God could make this happen. He will also help you make the right decision if you ask for His help.
My husband and I will be praying for you and your wife, Mark. We pray everyday for our son, daughter in law and grand girls. We are worried sick about our son and granddaughters, just like your parents have been. (it's been years for us as well) We will pray for your wife and our daughter in law starting today. They both need to be delivered from the chains that keep them stuck. God bless you as you deal with this sad situation.
I am smack dab in the middle of this at my church, at home and with my children 🤣 At this point I have almost learned too much. I see it everywhere! And it all started with Psalm 139. I began praying this and I also believe that the Holy Spirit leads us into ALL TRUTH, not just scripture. Now I follow Kris and a couple of others and am back on the path to healing ❤️🩹 Much love Kris Reece
Hi Kris, I am so grateful to have found you. After my whole life of being beaten down by my Mother, I finally exploded. I told her b text that she has been a detriment to my life and that I know how Narcissistic she is. We now have not talked for a year. I feel like I am in recovery, but I must tell you that by listening to C.S. Lewis and you I feel like I have made a tremendous breakthrough presented with many hours of tears. You have biblically brought me to a point where I will now begin another phase of my recovery. Thank you eternally!❤❤❤
Wow! You're so on point. I witness the immediate latching on to another person. I saw the obsession with the fake image, It was just a hot mess that God removed from my life, The hoovering is out of hand.
I have been listening to you for about 5 months now and I'll have to say this message really explained it all. I was doubting whether I was dealing with a covert narcissist but now I have no doubt at all. The examples you gave were as if he himself was talking. Thank you for your compassion to help others in these difficult relationships. You are a true blessing to all!! God bless and thank you!
I'm an empath who married a narcissist 19yrs ago. I have tried to leave many times although have struggled to keep a financially sustainable job. What you say about these types is so very true.
You describe my mother to a T. I went no contact with her 3 yrs ago. I have never once regretted it. All of that horrible toxicity is gone from my life. She has my brother and sister, who are her flying monkeys, and I am the black sheep. Don't care. I will serve the Lord and pray for them from afar happy as ever!
Amen. Kris has described my Mother too. God has been leading me this year as I see his right hand in my healing, which I have been seeking daily. Love to you SashMax.❤❤ ❤❤❤
My mother is like that too. I have tried to improve our relationship but she always goes back to the same spot. She cannot handle not to be in control to a ridiculous point, she doesn’t care about my happiness, only for me to do what she pleases and show off her little perfect doll ( which needs to be by her design, not by values or goodness). I ‘m 49 y/o she has separated my brother from me, knowing that we love each other so much, the problem is that my brother lets my mom to manipulate him or worse, he doesn’t realize what our mother and his wife have done; not in complicity, they barely stand each other. My self steem has reached the floor. Between my mother and my ex husband 18 years married and 2 daughters that is another narcissist to the point of being unfaithful and we divorced because I was diagnosed with MS ( Multiple Sclerosis), after 10 years he cannot hide the motive anymore.
@marthavaldes4962 God Bless You Martha. Hang in there. I completely lost it with my Mother. She had beaten me down so far that I finally exploded. We have not talked in a year now, which has given me time to explore narcissism. I now know why my Mom never loved me, abandoned me at 5 y/o. She's loves all her nail workers, maids, etc. but I now understand. She has always known that I above all others, really know her. I have been a threat to her, although I never exposed her. I was stuck taking it because I did not want to go against God's commandments. I'm so happy now, without her. I have dealt with severe alcoholism, drugs, smoked for 53 years, etc. I'm working on my relationship with God and happy to report that I am finally going in a positive direction. No More Abuse from her or anyone. I have come to realize that I am worthy of Love and will no longer stand as anyone's punching bag or doormat. I hope your life improves in a very great way. Just know that we can love ourselves and each other. We have the capacity to do that and to finally be at peace. Much, much love to you, Sweetheart.
This popped up without me starting it so I know God is directing my path, my thoughts, my knowledge of knowing the truth. I beat myself up pretty bad for not seeing, (or not wanting to see)from the beginning. I’ve been able to see through the reality of being married to a CN, I keep asking Jesus what I am supposed to do. The lies are staggering. No comfort, hugs, support, or even a sex life. I’ve lost my shine, it’s a lonesome, dreary situation. It’s changed me. But I keep looking g for little joys and miracles daily…and I see them. So I stay close to our dear Lord and pray continuously. It’s in God’s hands. Thank you as I’m listening.
I love you!! May God bless your soul! May God give you the strength to keep it coming. The Bible says my people parish because their lack of knowledge.... well sister you bringing the heat!! You will be in my prayers
Thank you so much for your videos. Everything you have described 100% is what I've been dealing with and seeing for the past 5 years. I have definitely recognized the paranoia and the desperate efforts to make others believe what this person wants them to believe. I have also been constantly reminded of the lack of trust of me in the relationship while spreading lies, exaggerations, and slander to get others to believe I am someone I am not and can't be trusted. Thank you for helping me to realize the danger I am in, that I am not going crazy., and how I have been enabling. I have finally told some people at my church about my situation, and I have been in the process (with help) of distancing myself. it has been very hard. That is why someone sent me some of your videos. I now have a better understanding of what narcissism is, how it works and things I can do. Thank you.
My roommate ( soon to leave, thank God) is deceitful and acts offended when faced with boundaries. There was no marajuana, she was burning sage. There was no smoking in her room, her son was smoking in the cold just outside her back window. She brought someone in to stay overnight because it was cold and she didn't want to disturb me as I was asleep. And BTW, I have no compassion. And she can't believe that I go to church and call myself a Christain. Thanks for the covert narc reminder . It came just when I needed it.
A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient.
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Good for you! That’s awesome. And, I can say with pretty clear certainty, neither one of you is a narcissist. Because one narcissist is like black mold which takes over both people. ( Unless the empath learns healthy coping techniques).
You didnt mention prayer. God is the only glue that can hold a marriage together. My husband didn't join me, so I prayed HARD for us both. Five years before his death, he began to join me. God was my only hope in a very difficult union...
The narc I have been dealing with is very covert/vulnerable. People describe him as humble. I did too at first. But his anger/rage is instant and automatic like the way you described the overt narc. There are so many variations. My mom is also a covert narc but she doesn’t rage, she manipulates situations to go her way.
Kris, you and your family have been on my mind and in my prayers since your post a few weeks ago now. I must say, the Lord must be really moving in your spirit. This was a fantastic broadcast; you hit on so many incredible points that spoke to my heart the entire time and provided so many confirmations and exhortations, including the questions section and your answers. Just wow, I thank God for you and what he is doing through you with this ministry. Thank you for standing firm ❤
This was absolutely brilliant and right on!!!! One of the best commentaries I’ve seen on covert narcissism…you nailed it! Thank you so much for bringing this issue to light from a sound, biblical perspective.
Every point could not be more spot on - EVERY POINT - I was being kept alive on Dialysis when I began calling out the behaviors of abuse openly plainly respectfully - My wife then began slandering me to Medical authorities. Both my Dialysis clinic, and Kidney transplant team at the hospital, telling them of mental illness symptoms that I don’t have, in order to silence my voice before I speak. She is a therapist by occupation and did these things knowing she is covered by HIPPA from anyone ever knowing she did this. I found out by freak chance, on accident from both areas. Thank you for your truth………
Yes....feels weird when they say/ act as if you are doing something unusual that you wld never do....but they are projecting to you something they are feeling/doing.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I’M GOING THROUGH! Since I was 3 I wanted to take care of my mom. I have taken care of her physically and financially for 30 years now and bought her a double wide mobile home. I let my oldest brother move in with our mom because he needed a place to stay, he was out of work for a couple years. I let him move in until he got on his feet, 15 years later he convinced my 86 year old mother who is starting to have memory issues that she needs to sign over her portion of the mobile home. He told my other brother he would pick fights with me in front of our Mom to get her against me so she wouldn’t want to see me anymore so he can get what he wants. He threatened me then got my mom so upset that she wants to disown me! He just went behind my back and took over her medical power of attorney!!!
This has been a long process of emotional manipulation. I’ve been love boomed for years only to realize that it wasn’t sincere. I’ve been in a triangulation situation with my mom and sister for years. It hurts, but I had to shut the door on both of them. Now I’m trying to heal.
All of this is true, me getting out in the bext two weeks and the anger us worse when they consume alcohol - Pray that God make me invisible to himbinbtge next few days until I have moved Amen
I read Dr. Laura's "Proper care and feeding of husband & marriage" & I got so mad because I was doing all the things she talked about. Then one day I heard her say on her radio show "these things work with a reasonable spouse".😳🤯 Narcissist, drug addicts or alcoholics, gamblers, shopaholics, insert addiction.... are not "reasonable spouses". Investigate potential spouses with wide open eyes, exam their friendships and family relationships.❤
I am dealing with a narcissist personally at home and professionally with my boss. The only time I am not dealing with gaslighting is when I am in my car alone- to and from work and to and from errands. It runs so deep that I even deal with it on my phone, from my inlaw who will leave horrific voicemail messages on my phone. I caught myself recently gaslighting my son and stopped in my tracks....I thank God that I am so now aware of the traits that I can work not to become like what I have experienced!!!!
Thank you, Kris. My cousin claims to be a "Christian". My cousin moved me to her 20 acre estate after I had hernia surgery, and could no longer work. Her 40 year old son still lives at home on the property too. Once I felt better she said she wanted me to sign a fake rental agreement so they could write off all their expenditures for upkeep on a rental property on the estate and their home. (Commit tax fraud, and rope me into it.) They said they'd give the money back to me in exchange for keeping their house clean - but this way they could have "checks" to turn into the IRS. When I refused is when the "tension" started. In addition, she made me turn over my Food Stamp card to her each month, and make also Food Bank runs twice a month. I offered to keep the house clean when I got better but soon both the son, and my cousin were piling dishes in the sink, trampling mud in the house after I'd mopped etc. I would spend over 2 hours each day in the kitchen- cleaning up their greasy pans, and dirty dishes after they had people over. My cousin also started asking me to move heavy furniture, and heavy items from two of her gardens. I'm going on. 64, and when I finally said "Hey, I can't keep up with all your demands and try to have a life. I think everyone should clean up their own dishes. Also, I'd like to be able to purchase my own food because your son is eating all of it - leaving me with nothing". My cousin also moved my daughter in and put her in a cold 8 X 12 cement garden shed to sleep with no bathroom or heat. My cousin also demand that my daughter "'turn over her Food Stamp card" and make Food Bank runs. She demanded that the beautiful art my daughter created, (paintings) be sold and all the money be given to her. When both my daughter and I started catching on that we got moved in for "free labor" and "exploitation" and set boundaries - it got scary and her behavior became even more controlling. We got sat down together last week and kicked out. My daughter and I have just 1 month to find a place to live. We have no money for first and last months rent or a deposit. .Her son was "gloating" at the table when she kicked us out. It's also our both my daughter's birthday and mine around Christmas. Please pray we find help to get out of this very toxic environment.
Dearest Lord, I ask You to lift Lisa up and gently place her in the consuming fire of Your Heart, burning with love for her. She needs Your tenderness right now. Please hold her that close! Thank You, my Jesus.
I myself is deeply insecure and very fragile. But through the years I have learnt to rely on Christ Who died for me and on God my Father in Heaven Who loves me and on the Holy Spirit Who comfort me and fortifies me for my self-worth. That stabilised me no end.
Your message is INCREDIBLY HELPFUL! I had to step away from a relationship because ADONAI told me to. A few questions: 1) Why couldn't she directly talk to me about any disagreements? She talked to our mutual Sister in Christ about everything, NOTHING TO ME. 2) She was in a marriage for years, which she said was annulled. However, there is NO record of it by her maiden name. There seems to be cover ups, lies, and when we were getting close to figuring it out, she said, "let it go, ADONAI has it!" What was that?
You have helped me so much with your videos...thank you! I began witnessing behaviors in my adult daughter that was confusing and hurtful, but I kept reasoning the behaviors away. This video has confirmed my fears that she may be a covert narcissist. I have taken every tear, every hurt, every piece of anger to the Lord and He comforts me. I pray for her that He removes the demons of her mind and show her the TRUTH of all situations. Her father was a narcissistic sociopath...I was released from that situation over 35 years ago. She has maintained a relationship with her father. She and I can have intervals of a seemingly good relationship until something triggers her anger. Currently I am being set aside...no communication. It is very hurtful. I'm leaning on the Lord and your videos are so helpful for understanding. I pray God bless you and your work. Thank you!
It may be that you feel you are being set aside, but the Lord is seeking to protect you from a close relationship with your daughter, because it just can't happen as long as she clings to her narcissistic ways, and I do believe this can be healed, but the person has to identify it and seek that healing, without any help from you, just your prayers and peace in the situation.
I thank God for your education and wisdom Kris Reece!! After being married for 34 with a man that is a narcissist but not sure if he is delusional narc which is pretty much like, I divorced and jumped right through a covert narc marriage…for only 2 years, I had to abandon the marriage and go through healing cause I had no idea what was happening to me….thank God I’ve been listening to your videos and my eyes are open, repentance and peace now happened to me! I praise Jesus cause He took me out of the pit, the snares of the fowlers ….like the blind man ‘now I see Lord’, thank you for being such a light in the darkness!!
You & Anouska(spelling?) are helping me profoundly !! I have been, was, "in love" w a women for 4 yrs that checks all the boxes including this Christian ideation.. Ty sooo much for helping us see this stuff ! A person unaware that they're dealing with a narcissist is bound to end up an emotional wreck unless they simply instinctually get out realizing it's over their head.. like i wasn't !
21:35 I so wish I learnt all about narcissists 30 years ago...I lived through what you are exactly talking about, for that long, and eventually was divorced by him two years ago-finally leaving me for yet another woman. And now, he still controls me through the meager Alimony that I need at my age desperately as my only income, having to be so nice to him, in order to get it. He still crave my supply, of course he is done with latest 'love of his life', and like always before, needs my supply again. Thank you for your gift, I downloaded it, and will use it, and most of all, Christ my Lord, to help me and guide me through this difficult last chapter of my life❤
I absolutely love listening to your broadcast. I just found you on here a couple of months ago and find myself really enjoying the content, as it relates to so much of what I have been experiencing with several relationships in my life. It seems that once we see the light as far as narcissism within an individual, we realize how many we are dealing with and how they have taken advantage of us. I truly appreciate you and the work that you do. God bless you! You have really helped me navigate through some difficult situations with toxic individuals. 🙏❤️🥰
I love your content , thank you for it , I am from Peru and I am living with a covert narcicist mother and this channel is definitly from God , so thank you to the Lord for using people like you to share this Information , people have no idea is crazy how isolated you can feel when nobody understand. Short story your channel has help me a lot , keep on that good job , very bless , greetin from Peru
Thank you for your videos. This describes my husband of 20 years to a T. I love him very much and in spite of his blindness to his own issues, I know he loves me. He has caused me a lot of pain with my children. I am not in any position to leave, I need to know what his triggers are and how to protect my heart and myself with them. Thank you for sharing how to deal with narcissistic people we love from a biblical perspective. Cutting off is not always the option.
I just want him out of my life but he won’t let go in the name of covenant but he didn’t honor that covenant when he cheated. I wish he wasn’t the father of my child. I just want to be set free, he doesn’t comprehend the fact that I no longer want to be with him, he never loved me and will never do, and can see right through that but he wants me to believe words over actions. May Yahusha redeem me and deliver me from this man permanently. I can’t take it anymore 😢
My prayers are that God will set a way when the road seems unclear,and these hard times are not to punish us but to help us grow closer to him.without struggles we cannot grow.he says he will never leave us or forsake us.we must hold Gods promises close to our hearts it gives me peace while i place my burdens in his hands.we just have to have faith and trust in him with patience .he will set us free I declare it publically.
God is so good! He gives his kids roads to walk on thru the dark valleys and up to the heights! I want to go back to those wonderful tho hard places. To retrace my steps back to that so special intimacy with the Lord! 🥹😢🙏❤
So far, you've described both my mom, and her friend. Stalking social media and stalking me physically... all while claiming to be christians. They both have perfected the trash talking. It's hard to defend against their intentional manipulation. I will never understand their ability to thrive off hurting me.
@deniseware1802 it amazes me that this is who you were raised by , and yet your soul is intact.May God protect and strengthen you. I have a son who survived unimaginable trauma at a young age unbeknownst to me. Once I found out, I sought help from the court system, which was extremely victimizing ,turning this into a custody case! The court system medicated him,no arrest was ever made and he was forced to be invalidated and retraumatized by his biological perpetrator in supervised visits which he vehemently opposed.Believe or not he was court mandated for trauma abuse therapy. How evil. Either way, he exhibits strong signs of malignant narcissism. I did the best I could and still blame myself of what I could have done raising him. He has spent half if his life b in addiction.I firmly believe the root is mostly strongholds. People who haven.t gone through the depth of what he experienced still and some who do still turn out this way... Thank God you made it through with an intact soul.
@@Kris_Reece Unfortunately, I was married to a non-Christian man. He had many of the narcissistic traits that you mentioned in this video except he didn't spy on me. In addition, he was a chronic alcoholic who would miss going to work weeks at a time, drinking and staying in multiple motels. He would abandon me frequently for days and weeks at a time without notice. He once went to Las Vegas without telling me, and he was away 3 days short of a month. Due to him abandoning me for a month, I became worried and contacted the authorities to report him as missing. However, two days after I reported him missing, he called me telling me he's in Las Vegas and he's on his way home. I was completely hurt and devastated to say the least. In the ninth year of our marriage, he wrecked his truck in a traffic accident and was fired from his job as a Corrections Officer and he blamed me. To make a long story short. I decided to leave him as the verbal and mental abuse toward me escalated. I did not have a legal separation. Instead, I stayed away from him for nearly a year. Then, I discovered that he filed for divorce. We met in court for the divorce, and he gave the judge the excuse that he wanted a divorce because I had abandoned him. From that point on, he never tried to contact me again. Trust and believe when I say that my marriage was the most painful and devastating time of my life. It took me years to recover from it. Praise Christ. ❤
Ask them to do something for you. Something small. Something you would do for them with no hesitation. If they are narcissistic or otherwise toxic, it will ALWAYS go at least 1 of 4 ways (though sometimes these reactions may compound): They will act as though they didn’t hear you. Depending on how long you’ve been in the relationship, you may ask again. If it’s been long enough, you’re likely to drop the request right then and there. They will promise to do it, but never follow through. If you ask again or remind them, they will usually have some kind of excuse. In these cases, they will still never actually fulfill their promise. Their excuse is not a reason for lagging, it is the reason they should be absolved from all expectation whatsoever. Often this excuse will be meaningless or an outright lie.If you don’t buy their excuse, and tell them so, you will experience the wonderful segue into reaction. An argument will ensue The argument will be your fault. It could be a small back and forth contending against your request, or it might quickly devolve into them screaming at you. You never know which it will be. They might even say outright that you should never ask or expect anything from them. Usually they will express that you are asking too much, hurting them in some way (financially, emotionally, insulting them, etc), or attack your character. The argument will only end when you relinquish your request + apologize, or start ignoring them completely. If you can ignore them long enough, they may apologize to you. However, the conflict will never feel truly resolved. At this juncture they may actually end up giving you what you asked for. Often this does require you admitting that you don’t really need it, or that you would be fine with what they suggested instead. This leads us to reaction They give you what you asked for, BUT There is ALWAYS a catch. It might be small. They show up late with no apology. They buy you what you wanted, but it’s the wrong color, model, brand, etc. They take you where you wanted to go, but pressure you the whole time you’re getting ready because you’re going to be sooo late. Then they want to leave early anyway. It might be worse. They do it out of anger, and make a big display out of it to scare/hurt you. They hold it over your head until you do something for them first. Or, later on, they use it against you. “I did x for you, so you should do y for me.” No matter what, you never actually feel fulfilled, happy, or loved when they do something for you. Somehow, even from the getgo, there was this deep-seated feeling of guilt and fear, this sense that the “special” things they were doing for you weren’t so special at all. Eventually, you become afraid to ask for anything. You’ve been conditioned to believe you deserve nothing. Ironically, or not, the less demands you make, the worse you will be treated. Moreover, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done digitalinvestigate@gmail. com
This is so accurate, and I am so glad to have these lessons to help me regain my identity. I can relate to everything you teach, and I am very grateful for this ministry. Helps me see my own mistakes and struggles in the midst of the situation and also to be clear about what I am truly dealing with. Thank you so much Kris
Thank you, Kris, for that prayer! I am one that has been told, by God, to stay. I am so grateful He holds me very close and tight to Him through His word/Word! If not, I’d have lost myself a long time ago. It’s only by my dedication to Him that I am able to endure most days! ❤❤🙌🏼🙌🏼🙏🏼 I was just asking the Lord if He was changing the course for me, but that prayer confirmed that we are right on track! He is my strength and my Redeemer!
The Lord has not released me either, sometimes I wish He would. At the 30 year mark I realize that for years I lived in so much confusion that I had no clue what I was dealing with, once the light came on, I have been trying to learn to stay in my own lane, not allow him to define who I am, our adult kids have all been wounded as well which makes me question me staying.... Now at 37 years, dealing with many counselors, he ways he wants to change and it grieves him what he has done to the family, but I am unclear whether this is real, or just a new level of the drama / people pleasing / acting right show..... Like you - Staying tucked up tight to the heart of the trinity is my saving grace
@ I understand! Praying for you. We are married 30 years and tried counseling, but he won’t go. Staying in my lane and focusing on His opinion of me, no one else’s, is my sanity. My worth is not in how ppl treat me. ❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼🫂
Yes, it's clear not everyone can leave. I knew when my children were small that being with their Dad was better than me going out of the marriage into someone else's arms. I refused one offer, even tho people in our small community knew my ex was a player!!! I stuck with him, forgave him & moved on with God's kindness & Love! 🙏🙂
Yep! Projecting their stuff onto me! Felt I was going mad … in the end I didn’t know who I was. Double life too - portray one image but darkness behind closed doors. Lying, manipulating, all of it, always blamed on me of course!
Thank you for accepting and recognizing the path that God laid out for you, because you have been a rich source of spiritual and emotional, as well as intellectual guidance for me. The timing of this video and the beautiful prayer, extremely apropos to my current situation and awakening in this 62nd year of my life, in regard to my mother. God’s richest blessing upon you.
Mine stopped going to church a long time ago. They have come to Christ after much prayer over them. When they changed the repentance was true. Their repentance was amazing, I had never known them to admit anything about what they had done. The sadness I see over the treatment they had shown and the grace that they have been given is moving. The change in their heart , their love and speaking out the truth about all they did, shows that God has really been changed. I've know this person for 34 years and could always see their lies, but this is not this same person. Even the photos of them before and now doesn't look like the same person !
@@JillianeAngel-m7u are you saying you believe God healed that narcissist? If so I’d like to hear more stories of healed narcissists bc I believe they’re possessed souls
Praise be to God!!! I have been married for 52 years and this is my hope. But I, myself had lots of narcissism to overcome, I practically raised myself, with my narcissistic parents having gone through a total of ten marriages, both of them repented before their deaths, thanks be to God, but it took a while for me to come to the Lord, and then to face my own narcissistic tendencies. Our God is so forgiving and patient with us.
Yes, yes! Spying in the house and a tracker in the vehicle ; watching the bank account. Knowing where I am at every moment of the day. Didn’t realize that was part of narcissistic behavior
FREE Narcissist Survival Guide
krisreece.com/narcissist-survival-guide/
Ty💖🙏🏼
❤ AMEN❤
Sick to get attention 🤢 well ❤️🩹 my mom lies about each small or large thing.
Q *"please how do I get my mom & siblings to stop lying about me to each person in my life"* *
Q#WHYdidMyMomSayMySonIsMovingInWithHerWhileHeSaysNotTrue! Q #Q
1. They're deeply insecure.
2. They're not Christ-followers.
3. They're paranoid.
4. They're living a double life.
5. They're consumed with anger.
@@syebethel so true
Accurate
Sounds just like my soonto beEX!
@@syebethel thank you
My ex I fear is a covert narcissist. I know she was insecure but most of the time she hid it well and it only came out if she misinterpreted a comment or suggestion as a criticism. I once complimented a dress she wore and told her she reminded me of a tv presenter who I found very attractive but she didn't, and therefore thought I was having a dig with her. Try navigating out of that one. I never saw her angry but I often suspected she had a pokerface to disguise it. She would give an expression that was somewhere between an angry face and a smiling face but looked like smirking and laughing in disbelief.
I've been married to this 4 year old for 52 years. He has never taken responsibility for anything. I have bothered him, coddled him, been the parent while he has been off playing jack the lad.I have always walked in love and forgiveness because I thought that was the Christian thing to do. WRONG. There are no consequences in that, no behavior change. What I should have done was shook the sand off my shoes and gone where my message of love was received. I tried to find wise council but no one understood what was going on, I had no family or support. Thankyou Kris for you and others who make the truth available. God bless you xx❤😊
52 years are you in a good place I am in California I am so frightened of what my son & his crazy ex-gf might be up to they both have hurt 💔 me & each other 😭 I have never hurt them , I have become their maid.
34 years. I call myself a secondary mommy.. I read a Gary Smally book 30 years ago.. If you dote on him love him he will change. Good Ole Gary never dealt with Narcs.
I don’t know what you mean by ‘hurt u’? You can get a restraining order. Evict them. Don’t enable them, don’t let them do this. Boundaries need to be put in place. If you are afraid things might escalate, police can back you up & protect you.
Sometimes setting boundaries seems cruel but it will hopefully help them become independent.
They will thank you later or if narcs, just go on with the same behavior. The use of your energy & resources can be put to better use.
@@stephaniemariemcdonald9096I'm sorry 😢
I'm sorry you have experienced such a relationship
I’m still married after 27 years to a man who is a covert narcissist. He is like a roommate instead of a loving husband. There has been no intimacy for years. When there was it was so superficial. He says one thing and does another frequently. He has viewed gay pornography online. He won’t admit his sexuality to me. We have 4 children. Three are triplets who just turned 18. I recently found Christ and it changed my life but sadly my husband and I do not share the same values. Thanks for your prayers, Kris. I surrender everything to the Almighty and let Him deal with my spouse in his time and according to His perfect will.
You are STRONG, and I appreciate your example, as I do all of those that I learn about "in The Comments." I have been married for 31 years and have felt, as you say, "like I am living with a roommate," for much of that time. It is just so great to find validation, upon hearing that others out there have (or are) also experienced (-ing) what I have been living (suffering) in my marriage. I also feel bad for everyone living this, and also for what the Narcissists are suffering ... I KNOW the way that they experience life is also awful for them. 😢 God help us all!
*"Less there be any wicked way in me 🙏🏼 "*
A roommate that never cleans up and is completely irresponsible. 😢
Imagine wishing he would at least act like a roommate. Lol😢
You need to run and ask for the government help.
You are living with a satanic person.
Just run!😊
Thank you for the prayer! I’m a covert narcissist. After destroying two great women and relationships I finally accepted what I am. Trying my best to change! Hopefully it’s possible through God
Praise God that you were willing to open your eyes and heart. I think we all have traits of narcissistic behavior in us because that is a sin nature!! But some of us are definitely unaware and do not know how to look at ourselves from others perspectives or from Gods perspective. I pray that your journey to heal from within will render you blessings and growth. The first step is humility with God and always taking self inventory. Don’t ever stop doing that and you will continue to heal and grow. Admitting it is the first step!
At the 15 mins mark had me in tears. Been with him for 9 years married 6. Had to leave last year, it became unbearable. I almost had a nervous breakdown. I couldn’t let him break me. For anyone experiencing this, I pray God releases you. This is a terrible thing to be a survivor of. My heart and mind are still healing. I have to coparent with him, so I still get yelled at from time to time but guess what, I have peace in my home with my children and I and I am no longer under his dark miserable cloud!
God bless your journey
@@WortundGebet❤❤
Praise God for deliverance! You and your children deserve Peace, Love and Happiness! I am praying for deliverance as well. It's very hard to get away due the unaffordability of housing but I am praying for a way out soon. Continued Blessings🙏
😢😢❤❤🙏🙏🙏God bless you...I can feel you 😢
Eventually say to yourself, their opinion of me is none of my business. Let it go, don't allow them to try to control you.
Treat them like they don’t exist. Get therapy and heal. Praying for you 🙏🏾
Who else is on a healing path and completely grateful for Chris' wisdom and help in all this ?
God bless you, sister !
W
I'm on a healing path.
Chris, Dr.Henry Cloud, Dr. Les Carter...all Christians helping us navigate this very bewildering behaviour pattern and it's effects on our lives. Even better though is the guidance of how to learn and grow ourselves to new life!
🙋♀️ bless you and all here learning new directions to follow and find our own peace ✌️
For me, the covert narcissist comes across as a people pleaser. They like to be in the spotlight to get the validation that they crave for, as other narcissists but at the same time, they pretend to be humble, simple, generous, over giving. The covert narcissist will take time to build a relationship/friendship with you. During this period, they will show their admiration and their devotion by helping you with everything that is you need. They will try to convince you that you are soulmates and that they understand you deeply. At the same time, you will see them being overly altruistic, maybe helping society by engaging in charities, activism. They feed the poor, take care of the homeless. All this makes you think how lucky you are for having met such a beautiful soul. You want to be by their side for ever.
However, soon you notice how much they enjoy being invited in galas to talk about their achievements. But they don’t admit that. They still play the humble guy who doesn’t want all this. Who is beyond money, beyond fame and recognition, who wants to share the floor with other people. But their acts don’t match their words. You come to realise that this selfless soul is actually doing whatever it takes to be in the centre of attention. When you do something together be it at work or at home, they want to control everything about it. They just exerce their control in a more polite and implicit way, making you believe that your voice was heard whereas in reality you did what they wanted you to do. Covert narcissists have a smooth way of leading you on. They don’t shout, they don’t give orders. They are master actors. They convince you that you are together in this. What makes them a narcissist is that when the time comes for them to use you in order to draw certain benefits, they will do it without a second thought and you are not going to believe in your eyes.
And when you stand up for yourself and raise your voice against them calling them for their phony identity, then you will see their rage for the first time and the mask will fall. Covert narcissists manipulate less with rage/exhibiting superiority and more with people pleasing behaviour/playing the eternal victim. They are not aggressive as overt narcissists. They are more cunning. What they both have in common is self-centered ness and lack of empathy. In the case of coverts, it will take you longer to find out.They knew what they wanted to get out of you from the beginning. They created a whole theatre play to fool you about who they are and their true motives. You will trust them with all your heart but when the time comes for them to prove their loyalty by choosing your bond over their personal gain, they will choose the latter with no remorse, without even taking any responsibility. Unlike the overt narcissist, they will have an eloquent excuse for doing so, rationalizing why they had to f@ck you over. They will pretend to be sorry about it because this is something that matches the image of modesty that they want to project but in reality they are not sorry at all. You will see them partying with your own money when they said they didn’t have enough to pay you back. You will see them being unfair and untrustworthy to other people as well. When the mask of the victim will fall, you will see the cruel smile of a perpetrator who managed to get what they want without deserving it. If you decide to unmask them run for your life.
Additionally, Catching a cheating narcissist can be difficult, and understanding local laws regarding what you can and cannot do may be even more challenging. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to handle the investigation for you. I genuinely appreciate your incredible work! Thank you for a job well done, Metaspyhub@gmail. com.
@eiehe93- girl you just read my whole 6 year relationship to a T!!! WOW WOW WOW!! I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU SO MUCH
You can NEVER give them enough love or validation.. They always need more and more... They are vampires...
It's a bottomless pit. They don't give you praise or a compliment
@@antheredhen true
Going though this right know I fell in love with him and I don’t know how to break away from him
Weird how codependency is the same .. seeking validation etc..
All the gaslighting over the years still makes Me think I'm the narcissistic person but I have genuine empathy for people.
I had a run in with a Cristian npd..they think there the god and think everyone is worshipping them..
Yes, no amount of sex was enough. Never satisfied because he had a porn addiction. Never had true intimacy
Living with them is like living with a roommate. Everything in their life is always a negotiation situation. They purposely will be silent, give you limited information ( so you haf to ask further on a subject ) talk about controlling. So with that said - live your life as if you don’t see them, hear them , acknowledge them in any way. I mirror them back to the max. Be unpredictable & spontaneous often. Stop doing things for them. Set your boundaries & follow through with them. Believe me - they will notice & in the meantime - you’re doing what brings you happiness & peace . The #1 thing they are afraid of - is you leaving them & possibly telling all those around them the reason why
Absolutely, they definitely do not want exposure to their true identity. My Mother has always known that I know her truth, which is why I believe she had targeted me for six decades.
I could have wrote exactly everything you just said. ❤
Kris, I have been so thankful for your insight and guidance. We just completed our divorce last week, and I ended up getting the "short end of the stick." So now my struggle is learning how to put my full and complete trust in God that I will survive financially because of this. I pray for him because we are called by God to do so, and I'm trying so hard to release what I see as so unjust and know that God will make it all work out at some point. All that I have learned about a narcissist has been so helpful to know what to expect, but he goes even further than I can even comprehend. Some may not believe in bad spirits in these people, but I do without a doubt.
The narcissist in my life wants to be seen as super-spiritual by the world. She hasn’t committed any of the “Big” sins, that would prove to people that she’s living a double life. But her gaslighting, manipulation, control, arrogance, disrespect, and the list goes on…. these are the so-called “sins” that can’t be proven to anyone. She acts one way with me, and another way to the rest of the world. It is so hard because everyone I know constantly praises her for being so wonderful. She is seen as the "model Christian" by Christians in public, while causing me harm in private.
Angels on the streets, devils in the house .
I must say I saw myself in your words about ‘she’ ….not sure I was a narc but I was in that track but the Lord made me repent, since 1999 I’m a different person but I was also married to a narc for 34 years, he never changed…I actually think his narcissistic personality made me see myself and all my wrongs thank God He had mercy on me! Praise Jesus!
Absolutely, that's what these people can be. It's very subtle, so most friends can't see thru it!!!
I used to tell myself for years, that's what he was, all the while not knowing his was a narcissism problem. I only have 'seen it' since I left 6 years ago. Now, it's a family problem for my daughter's, who saw it better than I, for years. Also my son, who left when he married @ 27. He had real insight into our 'toxic family', as he took the brunt of my ex's toxic jealousy!!! Sad!!!
Definitely relate
My experience is 40 years of marriage 😢. Now I have my eyes opened, Praise God.
@DianeRobinson-l7o I have been in it blinded for 42 years. I had a Damascus Rd. experience about 3 months ago.. But didn't know what to do with it.. Then The Holy Spirit dropped Kris Reace right in my you tube feed!!!
Thank you Jesus ♥️ I'm getting me together finally 🙌 🙏🏼 Going to a great Christian counselor and with God I am getting FREEDOM going into 2025!!!
Hallelujah ♥️ Glory to God ♥️
Praise God, Amen.
?Thank you for opening my eyes to the situation married to a narcissistic husband for almost 20 years. I have been a Christian since 1998 and it took me years to see that the blame I was placing on myself for a failing marriage, but once I realized his narcissist behaviorisms and I refuse to allow myself to be pulled into his demonic drama anymore. Thank you for being a christian teacher and you are a God send to people in this scenerio. You have helped me tremendously.?
Kris, there are no words for how grateful I am for you and your platform of communicating TRUTH, LIGHT and ENCOURAGEMENT on the topic of narcissism....under Biblical leadership and wisdom. Your videos have helped me more than you will ever know as I am just days away from mediation towards divorce. Keep doing what you're doing. You're impacting countless lives (and hearts). Thank you.
God Bless you. Stay strong friend.
I'm married to a pastor 47yrs and in ministry 43yrs. Your descriptions is on mark. He's moving out blaming me
Got caught in adultery but denying and still preaching
Never take responsibility and if they do it's twisted 😳
I really needed to hear this because I came from a covert, narcissistic family. Both of my parents were covert narcissist and we are in church every Sunday and I remember always sensing evil especially in the church so I do believe the demons love to go there and hide and masquerade as an angel of light like it says in the Bible, we need to be discerning and test the spirits. We cannot trust anybody just cause they say there are something by our actions by our fruit. He says we are judged, God knows we cannot deceive God, or ourselves! I believe I read that the and the people higher up in the church have the highest rates of narcissism of any other profession!!! I go by how I feel around somebody has an empath if I feel good and I gain energy and I never wanna leave that person‘s presence that is a sign of being a Christian and a follower of Christ!😊😊😊😊 i’m so glad somebody else is talking about this because every time I brought it up, everybody tried to shut me up and say, but they’re Christians and I said I don’t care. I don’t think they are Christians. I think they have a demon in them this was me as a little kid.😅
Me too... And then they tell you that you're the crazy one when indeed it's them
Planting seeds of distrust in the minds of others... It took me over 40 years to finally get the proof that he was doing this to me. And when my (not his) children were still young, he did it to them too. Other parents would not allow their children to associate with mine. Then he would feign having no knowledge about why. All the while, he was speaking disparagingly about us behind our backs. I left him for the 4th time 19 months ago. I will NEVER go back again.
Can relate to the many times I left, but came back, o we the years! Finally, at the 40 year mark. Prior, I felt I had nowhere to go. I often told God, where can I go. Rarely, did I find a solution. Until finally, it was back to live with & care for my mother on the other side of the country. It's 6 years on now, & I'm still watching over Mum @ the Village. Waiting for her to move on "from this earthly coil" and wondering, God what will I do, next?!? I'm 69. 😢😮
I was married to one of these men for 17 years- divorced him only to have him go to my pastor and manipulated his way back to everyone I knew to convince me that he had changed into a wonderful Christian man so I married him again. On our honeymoon I discovered I had made a big mistake - again!! I made a decision to stay and pulled myself away from his control for over 20 years until I finally decided to leave. It was hard. I walked away from everything! He passed away in 2020 - I was so relieved to be free of his pain forever.
Yes, Kris, this describes very much what I was living with. Manipulate, gas light, projection, silent treatment, wasn't really a connect, yes felt awkward, secreative, couldn't get a straight answer, felt like insanity. 🥴😵💫🤯 Thanx for helping me identify these NARC😶 characteristics🙂
After 8 years, I have now finally understood. Thank you, God, for your love and wisdom and my sister Kris.
They lay a guilt trip on you and it's all about that one person.
This is very helpful. It is sad that so many pretend to be religious. They can destroy a church and Christian outreach.
Oh, my former friend is one and use the Lord to play "the victim/ the persecuted one" instead of just being accountable to their own deeds.
@angelfrance1595 Religion allows them to play the victim and push people around.. Churches need to kick out troublemakers.
This is happening right now in our Church ministry. In March "she" furiously backed out. Four weeks ago, because I am moving, she wormed her way back, halving circulated lies about me, and securing for herself my position. Though she is not YET in place she has torn apart the peace and unity that so beautifully existed; texts, phone calls, private rendez vous.... Because she knows I am very soon out of the picture she has set her evil darts on one of the most beautiful members. The poor targeted woman called me saying she was going to resign. She is so key to the continuation of the ministry. The ministry is now almost destroyed, even though narc is not yet part of it.
She has deceived the young Pastor so skillfully he has no idea what's happening. He does not want to take time to hear anyone else. He believes her cunning.
All will leave. She will prove to be a failure. No one else will be left to blame. She will have to face her own self.
She may even turn to God. If not, to despair.
I have been praying for God to give her vision and light for several years. The other dear woman has been doing the same. We are praying for a powerful movement of the Holy Spirit.
God loves her and died for her as He did for me. Along with Jesus I pray that none that the Father has given Him may be lost.
Please pray with us.
Thank you all who read this and intercede.
Absolutely, they never take responsibility for their actions!😮
Bingo
One of the main things I can say after 24 years of being with this man be true to who you are and don’t ever let your guard down and don’t ever tell him anything he can use against you in a quart of Law
I discovered your videos a few weeks ago when I was trying to find self help videos to help me in my marriage. After a 15 year relationship I had finally had enough and decided that a separation HAD to happen if there was goign to be hope for our marriage. For 15 years our relationship has gradually become worse and worse. No matter how hard I try. However, your videos have changed EVERYTHING! during fights and arguments i've always accused my wife of being narcissistic and lacking empathy because it seemed like she could never see things from my point of view. EVERYTHING was my fault. EVERY fight was because of me. And I fed into it and would yell and fight back. Since stumbling upon your videos my life has COMPLETELY changed. I no longer blame myself. I no longer stand my ground by fighting and arguing back with her. I started listening to your recommendations and guidance and it has changed everything. I feel like we have started moving the communication and relationship back onto the right track for good or bad. I don't want a divorce so i've only requested (1) thing from her if she wants this marriage to last; all i ask is she speak kindly and respectfully to me in all situations. She has her moments but it NEVER lasts. If i've learned anything from all of these videos....... it is highly unlikely that she will change, no matter how badly she tells me that divorce is not an option. She only wants me to change. Okay, enough of my babbling...... thank you for the videos. I FEEL SOOO SOOO SOO much better after watching your videos. THANK YOU!!!
Addionally, my wife is one of the most intelligent people i've ever met. She is highly successful, type A, perfectionist who almost everyone thinks is such a wonderful and sweet person, so I have no chance. I was considered the nice, good looking, easy going guy. Years ago something changed. The smear campaign began and I don't even feel comfortable going to her family or work events. Her family has completely turned on me. Her parents (whom I do everything for) completely lost respect for me. My parents have been worried sick about me for years saying i'm not the same person.
I advise you just leave and forget the smear campaign. It’s not worth the years of hurt. They will not change
You've mentioned a few things that stood out for me. 1, that other ppl see her as so nice, yet she's mean to you behind closed doors. 2, the smear campaign. 3, it sounds like you're describing deflection in the first part (although you didn't say specifics). I cant diagnose, of course, but it wd be enough for me to leave. When I came to the realization about my ex-narc, I had no money, job or car, and to leave (with my 2 littles) I'd have nowhere to go. I prayed and prayed, packed as I prayed, and he showed up with a truck and friends to help us move. He took me to my mom's house, and she kicked out a boarder to give me my old room back. Now safe, I could start tutoring again. He signed a loan for me to get a car. God answered for each concern within 2 months 🙌🏽 🙌🏽 Even made the enemy help 🤭 Only God could make this happen. He will also help you make the right decision if you ask for His help.
My husband and I will be praying for you and your wife, Mark. We pray everyday for our son, daughter in law and grand girls. We are worried sick about our son and granddaughters, just like your parents have been. (it's been years for us as well) We will pray for your wife and our daughter in law starting today. They both need to be delivered from the chains that keep them stuck. God bless you as you deal with this sad situation.
The book Boundaries is life affirming for a Christian going through this. Dr. Henry Cloud.
I’ve never felt more insane in my life. This has brought me so much validation! God Bless You and the work you do!
Thanks Kris for still showing up and being of service to the body of Christ. Praying the storm has settled for you and the fam ♥️
Yes, thank you!
I am smack dab in the middle of this at my church, at home and with my children 🤣 At this point I have almost learned too much. I see it everywhere! And it all started with Psalm 139. I began praying this and I also believe that the Holy Spirit leads us into ALL TRUTH, not just scripture. Now I follow Kris and a couple of others and am back on the path to healing ❤️🩹 Much love Kris Reece
Hi Kris, I am so grateful to have found you. After my whole life of being beaten down by my Mother, I finally exploded. I told her b text that she has been a detriment to my life and that I know how Narcissistic she is. We now have not talked for a year. I feel like I am in recovery, but I must tell you that by listening to C.S. Lewis and you I feel like I have made a tremendous breakthrough presented with many hours of tears. You have biblically brought me to a point where I will now begin another phase of my recovery. Thank you eternally!❤❤❤
You speak 100% truth about what a true christian is.
I can relate insane Lord give me strength, protection and discernment
God Bless you ❤
Wow! You're so on point. I witness the immediate latching on to another person. I saw the obsession with the fake image, It was just a hot mess that God removed from my life, The hoovering is out of hand.
I have been listening to you for about 5 months now and I'll have to say this message really explained it all. I was doubting whether I was dealing with a covert narcissist but now I have no doubt at all. The examples you gave were as if he himself was talking. Thank you for your compassion to help others in these difficult relationships. You are a true blessing to all!! God bless and thank you!
I'm an empath who married a narcissist 19yrs ago. I have tried to leave many times although have struggled to keep a financially sustainable job. What you say about these types is so very true.
You describe my mother to a T. I went no contact with her 3 yrs ago. I have never once regretted it. All of that horrible toxicity is gone from my life. She has my brother and sister, who are her flying monkeys, and I am the black sheep. Don't care. I will serve the Lord and pray for them from afar happy as ever!
Amen. Kris has described my Mother too. God has been leading me this year as I see his right hand in my healing, which I have been seeking daily. Love to you SashMax.❤❤ ❤❤❤
My mother is like that too. I have tried to improve our relationship but she always goes back to the same spot. She cannot handle not to be in control to a ridiculous point, she doesn’t care about my happiness, only for me to do what she pleases and show off her little perfect doll ( which needs to be by her design, not by values or goodness). I ‘m 49 y/o she has separated my brother from me, knowing that we love each other so much, the problem is that my brother lets my mom to manipulate him or worse, he doesn’t realize what our mother and his wife have done; not in complicity, they barely stand each other. My self steem has reached the floor. Between my mother and my ex husband 18 years married and 2 daughters that is another narcissist to the point of being unfaithful and we divorced because I was diagnosed with MS ( Multiple Sclerosis), after 10 years he cannot hide the motive anymore.
@marthavaldes4962 God Bless You Martha. Hang in there. I completely lost it with my Mother. She had beaten me down so far that I finally exploded. We have not talked in a year now, which has given me time to explore narcissism. I now know why my Mom never loved me, abandoned me at 5 y/o. She's loves all her nail workers, maids, etc. but I now understand. She has always known that I above all others, really know her. I have been a threat to her, although I never exposed her. I was stuck taking it because I did not want to go against God's commandments. I'm so happy now, without her. I have dealt with severe alcoholism, drugs, smoked for 53 years, etc. I'm working on my relationship with God and happy to report that I am finally going in a positive direction. No More Abuse from her or anyone. I have come to realize that I am worthy of Love and will no longer stand as anyone's punching bag or doormat. I hope your life improves in a very great way. Just know that we can love ourselves and each other. We have the capacity to do that and to finally be at peace. Much, much love to you, Sweetheart.
Yes indeed, never ever take responsibility. There is nothing, according to him that I say or do that is right!
This popped up without me starting it so I know God is directing my path, my thoughts, my knowledge of knowing the truth. I beat myself up pretty bad for not seeing, (or not wanting to see)from the beginning. I’ve been able to see through the reality of being married to a CN, I keep asking Jesus what I am supposed to do. The lies are staggering. No comfort, hugs, support, or even a sex life. I’ve lost my shine, it’s a lonesome, dreary situation. It’s changed me. But I keep looking g for little joys and miracles daily…and I see them. So I stay close to our dear Lord and pray continuously. It’s in God’s hands. Thank you as I’m listening.
I love you friend. ❤️ You have truly touched my heart.❤
The narcissist always asks questions with yes or no answer because they can’t manage understanding; they already have that!!😮
My wife is a care giver to a 85 year old woman & you just describe her 100% in your video I'm speech less 🤯
I love you!! May God bless your soul! May God give you the strength to keep it coming. The Bible says my people parish because their lack of knowledge.... well sister you bringing the heat!! You will be in my prayers
True.Crafty manipulation to have things done their ways,yet feigning victim hood to maintain you on hook fulfil their ego.
Right!
Thank you so much for your videos. Everything you have described 100% is what I've been dealing with and seeing for the past 5 years. I have definitely recognized the paranoia and the desperate efforts to make others believe what this person wants them to believe. I have also been constantly reminded of the lack of trust of me in the relationship while spreading lies, exaggerations, and slander to get others to believe I am someone I am not and can't be trusted. Thank you for helping me to realize the danger I am in, that I am not going crazy., and how I have been enabling. I have finally told some people at my church about my situation, and I have been in the process (with help) of distancing myself. it has been very hard. That is why someone sent me some of your videos. I now have a better understanding of what narcissism is, how it works and things I can do. Thank you.
My roommate ( soon to leave, thank God) is deceitful and acts offended when faced with boundaries. There was no marajuana, she was burning sage. There was no smoking in her room, her son was smoking in the cold just outside her back window. She brought someone in to stay overnight because it was cold and she didn't want to disturb me as I was asleep. And BTW, I have no compassion. And she can't believe that I go to church and call myself a Christain. Thanks for the covert narc reminder . It came just when I needed it.
Thank you for these videos. I always felt I was alone in this. None else understands. Your videos are very helpful.
Kris has helped me through her videos. Also C.S. Lewis has helped me Biblically. He has videos on Narcissism too. ❤
You are never alone.
You are amazing ! Thank you. Agreed. Love your prayers and teachings,, kindness and loving human being you are. Loving the truth with God. Amen.
YOU HIT THE NAIL ON The HEAD...ALL YOU SAID DESCRIBED The 'X' PERFECTLY..THANKYOU!
Love never exists without the truth.
A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient.
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.
You wont regret it
Good for you! That’s awesome. And, I can say with pretty clear certainty, neither one of you is a narcissist. Because one narcissist is like black mold which takes over both people. ( Unless the empath learns healthy coping techniques).
You didnt mention prayer.
God is the only glue that can hold a marriage together.
My husband didn't join me, so I prayed HARD for us both. Five years before his death, he began to join me.
God was my only hope in a very difficult union...
The narc I have been dealing with is very covert/vulnerable. People describe him as humble. I did too at first. But his anger/rage is instant and automatic like the way you described the overt narc. There are so many variations. My mom is also a covert narc but she doesn’t rage, she manipulates situations to go her way.
Kris, you and your family have been on my mind and in my prayers since your post a few weeks ago now. I must say, the Lord must be really moving in your spirit. This was a fantastic broadcast; you hit on so many incredible points that spoke to my heart the entire time and provided so many confirmations and exhortations, including the questions section and your answers. Just wow, I thank God for you and what he is doing through you with this ministry. Thank you for standing firm ❤
Well said. Thank you. ❤
Thank you so much. They're reckless, careless and irresponsible
This was absolutely brilliant and right on!!!! One of the best commentaries I’ve seen on covert narcissism…you nailed it! Thank you so much for bringing this issue to light from a sound, biblical perspective.
Every point could not be more spot on - EVERY POINT - I was being kept alive on Dialysis when I began calling out the behaviors of abuse openly plainly respectfully - My wife then began slandering me to Medical authorities. Both my Dialysis clinic, and Kidney transplant team at the hospital, telling them of mental illness symptoms that I don’t have, in order to silence my voice before I speak. She is a therapist by occupation and did these things knowing she is covered by HIPPA from anyone ever knowing she did this.
I found out by freak chance, on accident from both areas.
Thank you for your truth………
Dr. Brother - DIOBOLICAL - No Doubt.
God Bless You, Sir. ❤
Oh, my goodness, I am keeping you in my prayers.
Yes....feels weird when they say/ act as if you are doing something unusual that you wld never do....but they are projecting to you something they are feeling/doing.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I’M GOING THROUGH! Since I was 3 I wanted to take care of my mom. I have taken care of her physically and financially for 30 years now and bought her a double wide mobile home. I let my oldest brother move in with our mom because he needed a place to stay, he was out of work for a couple years. I let him move in until he got on his feet, 15 years later he convinced my 86 year old mother who is starting to have memory issues that she needs to sign over her portion of the mobile home. He told my other brother he would pick fights with me in front of our Mom to get her against me so she wouldn’t want to see me anymore so he can get what he wants. He threatened me then got my mom so upset that she wants to disown me! He just went behind my back and took over her medical power of attorney!!!
I've always tried to help those I love resolve issues, not add to their conflict. And everything is projected back onto me
This is 💯 percent truth, and you nailed it completely Thank you 🙏🥰
This has been a long process of emotional manipulation. I’ve been love boomed for years only to realize that it wasn’t sincere. I’ve been in a triangulation situation with my mom and sister for years. It hurts, but I had to shut the door on both of them. Now I’m trying to heal.
All of this is true, me getting out in the bext two weeks and the anger us worse when they consume alcohol - Pray that God make me invisible to himbinbtge next few days until I have moved Amen
I read Dr. Laura's "Proper care and feeding of husband & marriage" & I got so mad because I was doing all the things she talked about. Then one day I heard her say on her radio show "these things work with a reasonable spouse".😳🤯 Narcissist, drug addicts or alcoholics, gamblers, shopaholics, insert addiction.... are not "reasonable spouses". Investigate potential spouses with wide open eyes, exam their friendships and family relationships.❤
I am dealing with a narcissist personally at home and professionally with my boss. The only time I am not dealing with gaslighting is when I am in my car alone- to and from work and to and from errands. It runs so deep that I even deal with it on my phone, from my inlaw who will leave horrific voicemail messages on my phone. I caught myself recently gaslighting my son and stopped in my tracks....I thank God that I am so now aware of the traits that I can work not to become like what I have experienced!!!!
@@MRSNVD I am so sorry that’s terrible stay strong and be encouraged on the lord !
@SheemsOfficial thank you so much.
100%.
Thank you, Kris. My cousin claims to be a "Christian". My cousin moved me to her 20 acre estate after I had hernia surgery, and could no longer work. Her 40 year old son still lives at home on the property too. Once I felt better she said she wanted me to sign a fake rental agreement so they could write off all their expenditures for upkeep on a rental property on the estate and their home. (Commit tax fraud, and rope me into it.) They said they'd give the money back to me in exchange for keeping their house clean - but this way they could have "checks" to turn into the IRS. When I refused is when the "tension" started. In addition, she made me turn over my Food Stamp card to her each month, and make also Food Bank runs twice a month. I offered to keep the house clean when I got better but soon both the son, and my cousin were piling dishes in the sink, trampling mud in the house after I'd mopped etc. I would spend over 2 hours each day in the kitchen- cleaning up their greasy pans, and dirty dishes after they had people over. My cousin also started asking me to move heavy furniture, and heavy items from two of her gardens. I'm going on. 64, and when I finally said "Hey, I can't keep up with all your demands and try to have a life. I think everyone should clean up their own dishes. Also, I'd like to be able to purchase my own food because your son is eating all of it - leaving me with nothing". My cousin also moved my daughter in and put her in a cold 8 X 12 cement garden shed to sleep with no bathroom or heat. My cousin also demand that my daughter "'turn over her Food Stamp card" and make Food Bank runs. She demanded that the beautiful art my daughter created, (paintings) be sold and all the money be given to her. When both my daughter and I started catching on that we got moved in for "free labor" and "exploitation" and set boundaries - it got scary and her behavior became even more controlling. We got sat down together last week and kicked out. My daughter and I have just 1 month to find a place to live. We have no money for first and last months rent or a deposit. .Her son was "gloating" at the table when she kicked us out. It's also our both my daughter's birthday and mine around Christmas. Please pray we find help to get out of this very toxic environment.
Please pray for me
Praying dear
Dearest Lord, I ask You to lift Lisa up and gently place her in the consuming fire of Your Heart, burning with love for her. She needs Your tenderness right now. Please hold her that close! Thank You, my Jesus.
Praying for you, Lisa. God Bless You. ❤
🙏🙏🙏🙏for strength, healing, love and peace. Amen
I never thought of that. They are wounded. ❤ God is in control.
I myself is deeply insecure and very fragile. But through the years I have learnt to rely on Christ Who died for me and on God my Father in Heaven Who loves me and on the Holy Spirit Who comfort me and fortifies me for my self-worth. That stabilised me no end.
Praise His love and Mercy!
So happy for you.
Your message is INCREDIBLY HELPFUL! I had to step away from a relationship because ADONAI told me to. A few questions:
1) Why couldn't she directly talk to me about any disagreements? She talked to our mutual Sister in Christ about everything, NOTHING TO ME.
2) She was in a marriage for years, which she said was annulled. However, there is NO record of it by her maiden name. There seems to be cover ups, lies, and when we were getting close to figuring it out, she said, "let it go, ADONAI has it!" What was that?
You have helped me so much with your videos...thank you! I began witnessing behaviors in my adult daughter that was confusing and hurtful, but I kept reasoning the behaviors away. This video has confirmed my fears that she may be a covert narcissist. I have taken every tear, every hurt, every piece of anger to the Lord and He comforts me. I pray for her that He removes the demons of her mind and show her the TRUTH of all situations. Her father was a narcissistic sociopath...I was released from that situation over 35 years ago. She has maintained a relationship with her father. She and I can have intervals of a seemingly good relationship until something triggers her anger. Currently I am being set aside...no communication. It is very hurtful. I'm leaning on the Lord and your videos are so helpful for understanding. I pray God bless you and your work. Thank you!
It may be that you feel you are being set aside, but the Lord is seeking to protect you from a close relationship with your daughter, because it just can't happen as long as she clings to her narcissistic ways, and I do believe this can be healed, but the person has to identify it and seek that healing, without any help from you, just your prayers and peace in the situation.
@joanhaselman444 Thank you for your insightful comments and encouragement. God bless!
I thank God for your education and wisdom Kris Reece!! After being married for 34 with a man that is a narcissist but not sure if he is delusional narc which is pretty much like, I divorced and jumped right through a covert narc marriage…for only 2 years, I had to abandon the marriage and go through healing cause I had no idea what was happening to me….thank God I’ve been listening to your videos and my eyes are open, repentance and peace now happened to me! I praise Jesus cause He took me out of the pit, the snares of the fowlers ….like the blind man ‘now I see Lord’, thank you for being such a light in the darkness!!
Amen.
So good to hear the Christian perspective on this. Just broke off a long time friendship because of the narcissism
Absolutely excellent. Absolutely informative. You are healing and helping so many. 🙏🏽
You & Anouska(spelling?) are helping me profoundly !! I have been, was, "in love" w a women for 4 yrs that checks all the boxes including this Christian ideation.. Ty sooo much for helping us see this stuff ! A person unaware that they're dealing with a narcissist is bound to end up an emotional wreck unless they simply instinctually get out realizing it's over their head.. like i wasn't !
SO GRATEFUL for you Kris 🥲🩷
Having an understanding on the whys and hows of narcissistic personality is freeing. Thank you for your insight and Biblical advice.
Amen Thank You. You are inspiring and a gracious beautiful lady. Please keep these videos going on. Your words are so healing. Kind woman.
Thank you Mrs. Kris Reece! I love you!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
21:35 I so wish I learnt all about narcissists 30 years ago...I lived through what you are exactly talking about, for that long, and eventually was divorced by him two years ago-finally leaving me for yet another woman. And now, he still controls me through the meager Alimony that I need at my age desperately as my only income, having to be so nice to him, in order to get it. He still crave my supply, of course he is done with latest 'love of his life', and like always before, needs my supply again. Thank you for your gift, I downloaded it, and will use it, and most of all, Christ my Lord, to help me and guide me through this difficult last chapter of my life❤
😢 ❤ 🎁 🎉 I hope those years are filled with the Peace , Strength, and Beauty that you desire and that God also desires for you.
What you said about the "evil mother" and the no contact trend is 100% true.
I absolutely love listening to your broadcast. I just found you on here a couple of months ago and find myself really enjoying the content, as it relates to so much of what I have been experiencing with several relationships in my life. It seems that once we see the light as far as narcissism within an individual, we realize how many we are dealing with and how they have taken advantage of us. I truly appreciate you and the work that you do. God bless you! You have really helped me navigate through some difficult situations with toxic individuals. 🙏❤️🥰
I love your content , thank you for it , I am from Peru and I am living with a covert narcicist mother and this channel is definitly from God , so thank you to the Lord for using people like you to share this Information , people have no idea is crazy how isolated you can feel when nobody understand. Short story your channel has help me a lot , keep on that good job , very bless , greetin from Peru
Thank you Kris, may the Lord bless you 🙏
Thank you for your videos. This describes my husband of 20 years to a T. I love him very much and in spite of his blindness to his own issues, I know he loves me. He has caused me a lot of pain with my children. I am not in any position to leave, I need to know what his triggers are and how to protect my heart and myself with them. Thank you for sharing how to deal with narcissistic people we love from a biblical perspective. Cutting off is not always the option.
I just want him out of my life but he won’t let go in the name of covenant but he didn’t honor that covenant when he cheated. I wish he wasn’t the father of my child. I just want to be set free, he doesn’t comprehend the fact that I no longer want to be with him, he never loved me and will never do, and can see right through that but he wants me to believe words over actions. May Yahusha redeem me and deliver me from this man permanently. I can’t take it anymore 😢
😢 same here
Dido
My prayers are that God will set a way when the road seems unclear,and these hard times are not to punish us but to help us grow closer to him.without struggles we cannot grow.he says he will never leave us or forsake us.we must hold Gods promises close to our hearts it gives me peace while i place my burdens in his hands.we just have to have faith and trust in him with patience .he will set us free I declare it publically.
God is so good! He gives his kids roads to walk on thru the dark valleys and up to the heights! I want to go back to those wonderful tho hard places. To retrace my steps back to that so special intimacy with the Lord! 🥹😢🙏❤
Leave … run now! I waited way too long as I never heard of this until recently.
Thank you so much Kris, may God continue to grant you new wisdom daily. You are indeed a blessing .
So far, you've described both my mom, and her friend. Stalking social media and stalking me physically... all while claiming to be christians. They both have perfected the trash talking. It's hard to defend against their intentional manipulation. I will never understand their ability to thrive off hurting me.
They have demonic strongholds that are hell bent on coming after your light. The root is spiritual and simply evil.
I love you Denise. God Bless You. We will all survive this insanity with Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. ❤
@deniseware1802 it amazes me that this is who you were raised by , and yet your soul is intact.May God protect and strengthen you. I have a son who survived unimaginable trauma at a young age unbeknownst to me. Once I found out, I sought help from the court system, which was extremely victimizing ,turning this into a custody case! The court system medicated him,no arrest was ever made and he was forced to be invalidated and retraumatized by his biological perpetrator in supervised visits which he vehemently opposed.Believe or not he was court mandated for trauma abuse therapy. How evil. Either way, he exhibits strong signs of malignant narcissism. I did the best I could and still blame myself of what I could have done raising him. He has spent half if his life b in addiction.I firmly believe the root is mostly strongholds. People who haven.t gone through the depth of what he experienced still and some who do still turn out this way... Thank God you made it through with an intact soul.
It is absolutely what my Cousin is like. He is tearing our family apart!!!
So true. All of it. Especially the part about anger. Well said. Thank you!
Thanks for watching
@@Kris_Reece Unfortunately, I was married to a non-Christian man. He had many of the narcissistic traits that you mentioned in this video except he didn't spy on me. In addition, he was a chronic alcoholic who would miss going to work weeks at a time, drinking and staying in multiple motels. He would abandon me frequently for days and weeks at a time without notice. He once went to Las Vegas without telling me, and he was away 3 days short of a month. Due to him abandoning me for a month, I became worried and contacted the authorities to report him as missing. However, two days after I reported him missing, he called me telling me he's in Las Vegas and he's on his way home. I was completely hurt and devastated to say the least. In the ninth year of our marriage, he wrecked his truck in a traffic accident and was fired from his job as a Corrections Officer and he blamed me. To make a long story short. I decided to leave him as the verbal and mental abuse toward me escalated. I did not have a legal separation. Instead, I stayed away from him for nearly a year. Then, I discovered that he filed for divorce. We met in court for the divorce, and he gave the judge the excuse that he wanted a divorce because I had abandoned him. From that point on, he never tried to contact me again. Trust and believe when I say that my marriage was the most painful and devastating time of my life. It took me years to recover from it. Praise Christ. ❤
Amen , Yes Father , thank u ! Thank u God for everything from u , Amen , Glory . Protect us with your mighty Powers .
Ask them to do something for you. Something small. Something you would do for them with no hesitation. If they are narcissistic or otherwise toxic, it will ALWAYS go at least 1 of 4 ways (though sometimes these reactions may compound): They will act as though they didn’t hear you. Depending on how long you’ve been in the relationship, you may ask again. If it’s been long enough, you’re likely to drop the request right then and there.
They will promise to do it, but never follow through.
If you ask again or remind them, they will usually have some kind of excuse. In these cases, they will still never actually fulfill their promise. Their excuse is not a reason for lagging, it is the reason they should be absolved from all expectation whatsoever. Often this excuse will be meaningless or an outright lie.If you don’t buy their excuse, and tell them so, you will experience the wonderful segue into reaction.
An argument will ensue
The argument will be your fault. It could be a small back and forth contending against your request, or it might quickly devolve into them screaming at you. You never know which it will be. They might even say outright that you should never ask or expect anything from them. Usually they will express that you are asking too much, hurting them in some way (financially, emotionally, insulting them, etc), or attack your character.
The argument will only end when you relinquish your request + apologize, or start ignoring them completely. If you can ignore them long enough, they may apologize to you. However, the conflict will never feel truly resolved.
At this juncture they may actually end up giving you what you asked for. Often this does require you admitting that you don’t really need it, or that you would be fine with what they suggested instead. This leads us to reaction
They give you what you asked for, BUT
There is ALWAYS a catch. It might be small. They show up late with no apology. They buy you what you wanted, but it’s the wrong color, model, brand, etc. They take you where you wanted to go, but pressure you the whole time you’re getting ready because you’re going to be sooo late. Then they want to leave early anyway. It might be worse. They do it out of anger, and make a big display out of it to scare/hurt you. They hold it over your head until you do something for them first. Or, later on, they use it against you. “I did x for you, so you should do y for me.” No matter what, you never actually feel fulfilled, happy, or loved when they do something for you. Somehow, even from the getgo, there was this deep-seated feeling of guilt and fear, this sense that the “special” things they were doing for you weren’t so special at all. Eventually, you become afraid to ask for anything. You’ve been conditioned to believe you deserve nothing. Ironically, or not, the less demands you make, the worse you will be treated. Moreover, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done digitalinvestigate@gmail. com
This is so accurate, and I am so glad to have these lessons to help me regain my identity. I can relate to everything you teach, and I am very grateful for this ministry. Helps me see my own mistakes and struggles in the midst of the situation and also to be clear about what I am truly dealing with. Thank you so much Kris
Thank you, Kris, for that prayer! I am one that has been told, by God, to stay. I am so grateful He holds me very close and tight to Him through His word/Word! If not, I’d have lost myself a long time ago. It’s only by my dedication to Him that I am able to endure most days! ❤❤🙌🏼🙌🏼🙏🏼
I was just asking the Lord if He was changing the course for me, but that prayer confirmed that we are right on track! He is my strength and my Redeemer!
The Lord has not released me either, sometimes I wish He would. At the 30 year mark I realize that for years I lived in so much confusion that I had no clue what I was dealing with, once the light came on, I have been trying to learn to stay in my own lane, not allow him to define who I am, our adult kids have all been wounded as well which makes me question me staying.... Now at 37 years, dealing with many counselors, he ways he wants to change and it grieves him what he has done to the family, but I am unclear whether this is real, or just a new level of the drama / people pleasing / acting right show..... Like you - Staying tucked up tight to the heart of the trinity is my saving grace
@ I understand! Praying for you. We are married 30 years and tried counseling, but he won’t go. Staying in my lane and focusing on His opinion of me, no one else’s, is my sanity. My worth is not in how ppl treat me. ❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼🫂
Yes, it's clear not everyone can leave. I knew when my children were small that being with their Dad was better than me going out of the marriage into someone else's arms. I refused one offer, even tho people in our small community knew my ex was a player!!! I stuck with him, forgave him & moved on with God's kindness & Love! 🙏🙂
Tomorrow I i guarantee You’ll Feel the SON. Brighter day tomorrow. the ☀️ will always shine yall will see
It sent me down a bad road. I'm not afraid to admit it very bad bad bad bad bad 😢
God Bless You, John. ❤
100% this experience has drained my every being.
Yep! Projecting their stuff onto me! Felt I was going mad … in the end I didn’t know who I was. Double life too - portray one image but darkness behind closed doors. Lying, manipulating, all of it, always blamed on me of course!
Thank you for accepting and recognizing the path that God laid out for you, because you have been a rich source of spiritual and emotional, as well as intellectual guidance for me. The timing of this video and the beautiful prayer, extremely apropos to my current situation and awakening in this 62nd year of my life, in regard to my mother. God’s richest blessing upon you.
Mine stopped going to church a long time ago. They have come to Christ after much prayer over them. When they changed the repentance was true. Their repentance was amazing, I had never known them to admit anything about what they had done. The sadness I see over the treatment they had shown and the grace that they have been given is moving. The change in their heart , their love and speaking out the truth about all they did, shows that God has really been changed. I've know this person for 34 years and could always see their lies, but this is not this same person. Even the photos of them before and now doesn't look like the same person !
@@JillianeAngel-m7u are you saying you believe God healed that narcissist? If so I’d like to hear more stories of healed narcissists bc I believe they’re possessed souls
Praise be to God!!! I have been married for 52 years and this is my hope. But I, myself had lots of narcissism to overcome, I practically raised myself, with my narcissistic parents having gone through a total of ten marriages, both of them repented before their deaths, thanks be to God, but it took a while for me to come to the Lord, and then to face my own narcissistic tendencies. Our God is so forgiving and patient with us.
Yes, yes! Spying in the house and a tracker in the vehicle ; watching the bank account. Knowing where I am at every moment of the day. Didn’t realize that was part of narcissistic behavior